NationStates Jolt Archive

Following the success of NS SURVIVOR, here is another RP thread open to all. The setting:

The good citizens of NationStates have recently left Earth on a huge spaceship, which is travelling deep into the unknown quadrants of space to explore unknown territory. Will they forever journey through the cosmos? Will an omnipotent space being annihilate them? Will mutiny befall the crew of the SS Nationstates? Will they finally reach an alien planet and colonise it?

You decide.....

These are the voyages of the SS Nationstates.

Medical Officer Dr Beeker reporting for duty Captain Zarq :D

Always knew I count on you, Dr. Beeker. Live long and prosper. Take your post. You are Science Officer on this trip.

Helm reports in, Capt. Zarq. Call me "Mr. Bob".

I'm not joining unless 7 of 9 is on it. :lol:

Good day Mr. Bob. Plot our course please.

May I also say that as the first Muppet to serve in a Starfleet uniform I expect no special treatment...now...where is the sickbay? :D

*pats her slightly beehiving hairdo into place and wirggles in her petite blue nurses uniform*

can't have the doc doing all the work on his own do we ^^ (and we know what the nurses are there for on Star Trek ;) )

will you be able to find me in the medibay?

OOC: Funny, my character is a huge spaceship, a General Contact Unit of the Culture. Occasionally, I RP as its Mind's avatar. If that makes sense. So I guess I can't join you on your voyage, as I doubt you could accomodate me.

Course has been set. Bearing 315.

Take turbolift 5 Mr. Beeker. And.....on a personal note, it's a pleasure to have you serving. After the holographic doctor, we need that muppet touch in here.

Unfortunately 7 of 9 will not be joining us this trip.......or will she?

Spookistan and Jakalah's citizens are much too busy grocery shopping and picking up the kids from school to go galavanting off into outer space...except for one. We had a visit from an omniscient ball of glowing energy a couple of years back. It said that humankind was a viscios, barbaric race, and it was going to annihilate us by making us fight to the death. Cut a long story short, we managed to convince it that humans were worth saving, and it's been living in a little cottage on the coast ever since. Well, he's been thinking about heading back out into intergalactic space for a while, and wants to know if he could get a lift?

Course has been set. Bearing 315.

Remember, you're dealing with 3D coordinates. Sorry to be a pedant, but that's sci-fi.

Nurse Flayers, please report to Sickbay. You'll need to familiarise yourself with the setting. This is no Enterprise, you know.

*pats her slightly beehiving hairdo into place and wirggles in her petite blue nurses uniform*

can't have the doc doing all the work on his own do we ^^ (and we know what the nurses are there for on Star Trek ;) )

will you be able to find me in the medibay?

Of course Nurse Flayers...if you would like to follow me...

*They enter the turbo lift*

Deck 7...

*Can't stop looking at the Nurses ample cleavage...*

To boldly go.... 8)

*electrical buzzing sound eminates from underneath a console, where a pair of feet stick out*

YOW!!!!

*strange sounds of futurisic like tools being used*

that ought to do it

*gets up and stands at console and powers it up*

*is envloped in a shower of sparks and watches the magical smoke be released thus signifying the death of the console*

hmmmmm

*replicates a new one*

Course has been set. Bearing 315.

Remember, you're dealing with 3D coordinates. Sorry to be a pedant, but that's sci-fi.

In fact:

Up: 3
Sideways: 1
Depth: 5

*walks to replicator*

Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.

*walks to replicator*

Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.

*takes the space slug that materializes in the replicator*

umm...sorry about that

*opens the panel and starts working*

Nurse Flayers, please report to Sickbay. You'll need to familiarise yourself with the setting. This is no Enterprise, you know.

aye, sir

*takes dr. beekers arm and heads for places unknown (to her)*

*Two Hours later*

*Dr Beeker and Nurse Flayers exit the Turbolift looking slightly dishevelled*

*Ahem*

Nurse could you prepare some anti serum for Romulan flu please... 8)

Take turbolift 5 Mr. Beeker. And.....on a personal note, it's a pleasure to have you serving. After the holographic doctor, we need that muppet touch in here.

Unfortunately 7 of 9 will not be joining us this trip.......or will she?
7 of 9 reportig for duty captain. I seem to have misplaced my chest units while I was regenerating. Perhaps Dr. Beeker could replicate a few new ones so we can work at full efficiency.

Nurse could you prepare some anti serum for Romulan flu please... 8)

of course, doctor :)

Dr. Beeker, step to it.

7 of 9, take the bridge....

If you need me, I'll be in my ready-room.

A small hedgehog sniffs around in the Airponics Bay.

I seem to have misplaced my chest units while I was regenerating. Perhaps Dr. Beeker could replicate a few new ones so we can work at full efficiency.

Surely this is the engineering departments problem...I deal with the more...*Looks over at Nurse Flayers* human aspects of the crew 8)

Dr. Beeker, step to it.

7 of 9, take the bridge....

If you need me, I'll be in my ready-room.
*Takes the bridge* Helm, lay in a course towards following coordinates 872 by 654. The Mc Galactic fast food restaurant. Maximum warp. Engage. *buzzes the captain* Would you like a Mc Nova menu captain?

*Looks up from portrait of him as a Borg*

Make it so.

I seem to have misplaced my chest units while I was regenerating. Perhaps Dr. Beeker could replicate a few new ones so we can work at full efficiency.

Surely this is the engineering departments problem...I deal with the more...*Looks over at Nurse Flayers* human aspects of the crew 8)
My chest units are 68% biological. That makes it your problem for at least 68% Doc.

Dr. Beeker, step to it.

7 of 9, take the bridge....

If you need me, I'll be in my ready-room.
*Takes the bridge* Helm, lay in a course towards following coordinates 872 by 654. The Mc Galactic fast food restaurant. Maximum warp. Engage. *buzzes the captain* Would you like a Mc Nova menu captain?

*Patches through to the bridge...*

Can I have some Mcmeteor nuggets and a Black Hole burger with cosmic dip...heavy on the gravity...and whatever Nurse Flayers wants

8)

Dr. Beeker, step to it.

7 of 9, take the bridge....

If you need me, I'll be in my ready-room.
*Takes the bridge* Helm, lay in a course towards following coordinates 872 by 654. The Mc Galactic fast food restaurant. Maximum warp. Engage. *buzzes the captain* Would you like a Mc Nova menu captain?

*Patches through to the bridge...*

Can I have some Mcmeteor nuggets and a Black Hole burger with cosmic dip...heavy on the gravity...and whatever Nurse Flayers wants

8)
Noted. Anyone else?

OOC: COOL! Star Trek! What can I be?

OOC: COOL! Star Trek! What can I be?
We still need an engineer to help the doctor to rebuild the remaining 32% of my chest units.

My chest units are 68% biological. That makes it your problem for at least 68% Doc.

Ok...after you have ordered our food report to sick bay for tissue sampling 8)

Noted. Anyone else?

oh I'll take a Khan Salad with Betazoid Dressing, please

ooc: this ship needs a computer...and someone to make that futuristic woosh door noise. *volunteers*

OOC: COOL! Star Trek! What can I be?
We still need an engineer to help the doctor to rebuild the remaining 32% of my chest units.

Nice that's what I'm gonna be in RL too.

IC: Commander Den'ra enters and surveys the scene before her. Her green eyes flash disapointment, and she hurries towards them

*walks to door*

OOC: Go for it Introspectria

*shhhhhhhhhh*

Come to think of it. I don't think we have a helmsman yet. Hmm...that would explain us flying around in circles at maximum warp.

*walks onto bridge*

Commander Den'ra......

*FLASHBACK!!! Commander Den'ra's mother looks up at him from under the sheets with a dreamy look in her eyes....'Zarq....'

Romulans rush in and vapourise her with phaser rifles!

END OF FLASHBACK*

Erm....welcome aboard...

Come to think of it. I don't think we have a helmsman yet. Hmm...that would explain us flying around in circles at maximum warp.

*computer voice* Mr. Bob is currently located at his post

*futuristic whurring-computing noise*

*computer voice* or somewhere...

Has anyone seen my phase amplifier...I seem to have mislaid it :?

*general starship like background beeping and hum*

Come to think of it. I don't think we have a helmsman yet. Hmm...that would explain us flying around in circles at maximum warp.

*computer voice* Mr. Bob is currently located at his post

*futuristic whurring-computing noise*

*computer voice* or somewhere...
*looks over to mr Bob's post* *finds a note: Out for lunch*
*Plots the course to the Mc Galactic*

Looks at him curiously, wondering why he was looking at her so oddly, but shrugs it off. She extends a hand

"Thank you sir"

It's in Nurse Flayers's........Mr. Bob, LOOK OUT!!!!

*dramatic musical flourish used to signify danger*

The hedgehog begins munching on the tertiary plasma conduits on deck 9.

*The room suddenly judders...and something falls out from under Nurse Flayers skirt...why you little...Captain are we under attack?

*Performs a dramatic movement from one side of the room to the other for effect*

The hedgehog begins munching on the tertiary plasma conduits on deck 9.

*short klaxon*

*computer voice* warning, plasma conduit breach, deck nine, affected compartments sealed

No, but he was gonna press the self-destruct button.....this one...

*Space-turbulence*

Shit, I pressed it!

*computer initiates red alert*

*computer voice* self destruct systems activated, authorization code required...

*puts down joint* What the........red alert Mr Bob.*remembers mr Bob's gone out for lunch* *pushes the alarm button*
Captain to the bridge. We are about to be attacked I think.

Computer, cancel red alert and cancel self-destruct sequence.

*sits down*

Shit.

*Thinks of Den'ra's mother*

Shit.

*Looks at the coffee he's spilt down his uniform*

Shit.

**runs to control panel and punches in security over ride**

"This is Commander Den'ra code 5Bravo Tango. Cancel self destruct"


the computer whirrs and then answers" Confirmation needed from captain"

Sh*t...I know that authorisation code what is it..

*The Good Dr wracks his brains*

Um...195874385875...no thats not it

err...5984-3984980-9 nah...too obvious

*computer initiates red alert*

*computer voice* self destruct systems activated, authorization code required...
*hacks the computer with her superior Borg skills and deactiates the self destruct sequence*

*happy electronic type acknowledgement sound*

*computer voice* acknowledged, self destruct systems deactivated

*red alert klaxons fall silent*

*computer voice* Starfleet records indicate use of phase-induced tachyon OxyClean anti-flux stream for removal of coffee stains

*looks embarassed*

Look, I was just about to change the codes when we took off......oh, damn damn damn.

*sighs*

Computer, cancel self-destruct, code 9 WhoppingWilles Alpha 9

A large black ship, organic, hideous slides into view, The Shadow have retu....



....oops wrong series


Black ship disapears.

*grabs dr. beeker the shuddering of the room visible in the "movements" in the cheast region*

oh no.. the self destruct has been activated!! and only three persons have the authority to stop that!

what are we to do?

*clings to the doctor glass can be heard crashing in the background*

*happy electronic type acknowledgement sound*

*computer voice* acknowledged, self destruct systems deactivated

*red alert klaxons fall silent*

*computer voice* Starfleet records indicate use of phase-induced tachyon OxyClean anti-flux stream for removal of coffee stains
*reactivates red alert* We are still about to e attacked. :P

OK, OK, who's pumping the synthetol through the cooling systems again???

Let's all relax, there's nothing happening, keep working.

*red alert klaxons sound*

*looks embarassed*

Look, I was just about to change the codes when we took off......oh, damn damn damn.

*sighs*

Computer, cancel self-destruct, code 9 WhoppingWilles Alpha 9

*Tries not to snigger*

*nods to Beeker*

Well, Dr. Beeker, here's your chance at a real life command situation. I'll be in my ready-room.

*walks to door*

OK, OK, who's pumping the synthetol through the cooling systems again???

Let's all relax, there's nothing happening, keep working.
I beg the differ captain. Those big battle cruisers over there don't look very friendly.

*pulls her dress straight and walks to the science officers helm-station and peers into the funny device there*

sir, I'm getting a wierd reading on the Positional Matter Flurosonar :shock:

*computer voice* affirmative. The battle crusers carry multiple photon topedo banks, phaser emitters, and sensor jamming systems. Federation standard tactical phase engagement senarios indicate a level 5 "We're screwed" response plan.

*nods to Beeker*

Well, Dr. Beeker, here's your chance at a real life command situation. I'll be in my ready-room.

*walks to door*

Whoa...hold on there Captain...I'm just a medical officer...what do I know about battle situations...all I can do is wave flashy hand held devices over nubile young ensigns :?

Captain, where is the First Officer?

*Drinks his tea in the ready-room.*

Wonder how Beeker is doing out there?

Den'ra, Den'ra, what have you done to me?

**stands outside the ready room, takes a deep breath, and walks in**

Captain?

*shouts over intercom*

LOOK! Just deal with it....very simple. Ask them what they want, tell them no, then blast them the f*ck out of space. I'm having tea here.

Captain, where is the First Officer?

Isn't this where you say..."She cannae take it Captain"

*shhhhhhhhhh-door closing sound as Gidetisms enters the room*

*turns over bridge command to Beeker ad goes to regenerate with ensign Shakira*

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!

Den'ra, return to your station!

Crap, these guys are useless.

Beeker, how are you doing?

Have they shot at us yet?

*computer voice* affirmative. The battle crusers carry multiple photon topedo banks, phaser emitters, and sensor jamming systems. Federation standard tactical phase engagement senarios indicate a level 5 "We're screwed" response plan.

.. but according to my reading, there is nothing alive on board those ships..

should I ready a Wave Pulse Sonaric Seismoprobe, sir?

*still peering into the gadget in front of her and has no clue who's in command at the moment anyway

Oh thats right...leave it to me as usual...and where's bloody Q when you need him...Can you hail the Romulan Warbird Bob...

*electronic signal signifying the battle cruser is hailing*

http://www.classicgaming.com/rotw/zerowing/zwintro1.gif

Unable to leave the sealed passage via the hallway, the hedgehog endters the adjoining transporter room and climbs onto the controls.

On screen number one...

*to whoever number one happens to be*

*computer attempts to use universal translator to translate the crappy translation being transmitted to the ship*

Den'ra, return to your station!

**jumps a bit, and nervously turns around, losing all her courage**

**her long red hair sways as she walks**

*fiddles with 2 dolls*

*deep voice*

Luke, I am your father!

*less deep voice*

NO!!!!!!!

*smashes glass, shattering models of previous Starship Enterprises*

(OOC: Sorry, had to include that part of First Contact)

*computer begins reciting moby dick on all intercom stations*

*computer begins reciting moby dick on all intercom stations*

*bangs fist against panel*

shut up - I'm trying to concontrate!!

doctor, seismoprobe? I don't think that there is anything living over there..

*The screen is activated...*

Ahhhh...Captain pointyeariy of the Tal Shiar...what a surprise...not!

*Strides in*

Oh fine, fine, fine.

What do you need me to do?

*notices zip is open*

Shit.

*computer using the human genome database to construct a human replica of itself with a replicator algorithim tied into the transporter system*

*magical transporter sound*

*steps off of the transporter pad*

ah....much better

*walks down hall to the turbolift*

self? main bridge....

*electronic acknowledgement sound*

**leaves to go to engineering**

**once there, she examines closly the warp drive and biopacks**

*Strides in*

Oh fine, fine, fine.

What do you need me to do?

*notices zip is open*

Shit.

It's the bloody Romulans agian Capt...apparently we have entered the neutral zone in the pursuit of a fast food joint :?

*Looks up*

Oh, it's this fart......Right....arm photon torpedoues, full spread. On my mark, fire.....FIRE

*Looks at screen*

Good riddance. They're dead, happy now?

*notices that by thumping the panel it smitched itself on*

Sheepishly looks around the room*

erm.. sooorry :oops:

*the computer, now in human form, steps off of the turbolift and walks to the captains ready room door*

*twitches his finger and the door makes the "some one wants to come in" noise*

Now, Beeker, don't tell me that you couldn't handle that yourself. Sheesh, what DO you go to the Academy for?

Look, unless it's the Borg or those CGI aliens that beat the Borg in Voyager, don;t call me please!

*Congratulates himself at having a crew of newbies*

Yes, who the Talaxian buttf*ck is it?

Now, Beeker, don't tell me that you couldn't handle that yourself. Sheesh, what DO you go to the Academy for?

Look, unless it's the Borg or those CGI aliens that beat the Borg in Voyager, don;t call me please!

Captain with all due respect...I am of a delicate disposition and ...well...I have other...*Ahem* duties to attend to... 8)

*walks in and stands at attention*

ships computer reporting for duty sir!

But the Romulan ship was only cloaked, and it suddenly uncloaks behind the Enterprise. Romulans beam into all areas of the ship taking it over from the inside out.

*Blinding white flash in Ready Room*

Ah, greetings Mon Capitain!

*Bows extravagantly*

Aren't you going to welcome your favourite Q back to the fold, you old space dog?

*Blinding white flash in Ready Room*

Ah, greetings Mon Capitain!

*Bows extravagantly*

Aren't you going to welcome your favourite Q back to the fold, you old space dog?

Oh turn up now...how bloody convenient...where were you when the sh*t hit the fan eh?

If you want Picard, you missed him. I'm Zarq. You mind dealing with those Romulans for me? After that we can have a beer.

*Snaps fingers*

*Turns Beeker into Wesley Crusher*

Computer, I already told you....Tea. Earl Grey. HOT!

Ig'nar stared at the position of the NS ship on his steller cataragraphy.


"they will be our next target. charge up plasma torpedos and phasers. And whoever lowered my seat, VERY FUNNY!"

the Orion ship jumped to warp

OOC: I am assuming it is ok to join

...those CGI aliens that beat the Borg in Voyager...

*Jimmy Rabbitte's father from The Commitments enters*

Species 8472 nearly did, but were defeated by the Borg-Voyager alliance.

*Jimmy Rabbitte's father from The Commitments leaves*

Oh turn up now...how bloody convenient...where were you when the sh*t hit the fan eh?

probably ignoring me like the rest of the crew :x

Q please. Picard said to remember the time we kept your son for you. Now please, kill the Romulans and turn Beeker back. I mean, come on, Crusher, for crying out loud.....

*Snaps fingers*

*Turns Beeker into Wesley Crusher*

Gutted :(

Picard who? :twisted:

I have to say that I never really liked those Romulans.

But Qs can't make beer like humans can.....

*snaps fingers*

Romulans begone!

Computer, I already told you....Tea. Earl Grey. HOT!

acknowledged

*twitches and, thru the magic of transporter/replicator technology, transforms into a butler holding a silver tray with fine china, which contains tea. earl grey. quite hot indeedy*

your tea sir.

Nurse Flayers, please see about turning Beeker back. Thank you.

Computer, get a beer for Q. Stella? Bud? I can't remember your preference.

The Orion ship nears Nation States

"sir, I am getting readings of massive amoute of energy on board"

"like what?"

"err, like Q, mabe?"

Q please. Picard said to remember the time we kept your son for you. Now please, kill the Romulans and turn Beeker back. I mean, come on, Crusher, for crying out loud.....

You can have Beeker back IF I can have a set of those novelty Batman pyjamas you're wearing :oops:

Oh turn up now...how bloody convenient...where were you when the sh*t hit the fan eh?

probably ignoring me like the rest of the crew :x

Nurse...thats what all medical staff are used to...but....noooo....once their athritis starts playing up...suddenly we are their best buddy...where were they when we ate alone in the messroom eh? :x

Computer, get a beer for Q. Stella? Bud? I can't remember your preference.

*a beer materializes in his hand and he hands it over to Q*

Computer, I already told you....Tea. Earl Grey. HOT!

acknowledged

*twitches and, thru the magic of transporter/replicator technology, transforms into a butler holding a silver tray with fine china, which contains tea. earl grey. quite hot indeedy*

your tea sir.

And this time, you did it without a repeat of the flowerpot and sperm whale incident.

Nurse Flayers, please see about turning Beeker back. Thank you.

*walks over to Weasley/Beeker*

with your intelligence and my sex-appeal I'm sure we'll find a quick solution to this - unlike that weirg entity over there

*speaking just loud enough for Q to hear*

Computer, get a beer for Q. Stella? Bud? I can't remember your preference.

*a beer materializes in his hand and he hands it over to Q*

Why thank you, my dear.

*looks sheepish*

You aren't the computer that had that fling with the Apple Mac on Rigel or you :? ?

On second thoughts, leave him as Crusher. We need someone to rip the piss out of.

Ok....now I need to talk to Q. The rest of you, please get out.

So, Q, about those Klingon ladies we were trafficking last year....word is out you're doing business in Cardassians now.....don't like the cold blood myself, but I heard there's a demand.....

*Turns to Flayers*

Do you still...you know...fancy me as Crusher :(

Oh turn up now...how bloody convenient...where were you when the sh*t hit the fan eh?

probably ignoring me like the rest of the crew :x

Nurse...thats what all medical staff are used to...but....noooo....once their athritis starts playing up...suddenly we are their best buddy...where were they when we ate alone in the messroom eh? :x

eat in the messroom? that is an experience that a newly corporal entity like myself would like to try. When's lunch?

*voice comes over intercom* lunch will commence for this shift in one hour

thank you self

*voice over intercom* acknowledged

On second thoughts, leave him as Crusher. We need someone to rip the piss out of.

OOC: LMAO! :lol:

Computer, get a beer for Q. Stella? Bud? I can't remember your preference.

*a beer materializes in his hand and he hands it over to Q*

Why thank you, my dear.

*looks sheepish*

You aren't the computer that had that fling with the Apple Mac on Rigel or you :? ?

:oops: :oops:

I take it your ignoring me, I'll go

*Turns to Flayers*

Do you still...you know...fancy me as Crusher :(

doctor - I've always respected your immense "intellect" above anything else :wink:

Computer, I already told you....Tea. Earl Grey. HOT!

acknowledged

*twitches and, thru the magic of transporter/replicator technology, transforms into a butler holding a silver tray with fine china, which contains tea. earl grey. quite hot indeedy*

your tea sir.

And this time, you did it without a repeat of the flowerpot and sperm whale incident.

that wasn't my fault, the data was corrupted. ya know, garbage in, flowerpots and sperm whales out *shrugs*

Oh, would someone blast that ship that's lurking about outside? Just beam the crew on board and chuck em in the brig.

On second thoughts, leave him as Crusher. We need someone to rip the piss out of.

Ok....now I need to talk to Q. The rest of you, please get out.

So, Q, about those Klingon ladies we were trafficking last year....word is out you're doing business in Cardassians now.....don't like the cold blood myself, but I heard there's a demand.....

Sorry, the spoons got on my nerves so I was forced to turn the entire Cardassian race into hydrangias.

[product placement for a garden centre]

I can do you a great line on Hortas tho...

I take your ignoring me, I'll go

we're understaffed ;) and have crusher-problems :D

*Turns to Flayers*

Do you still...you know...fancy me as Crusher :(

doctor - I've always respected your immense "intellect" above anything else :wink:

*Looks down at his radically different groin area and begins to sob* :cry:

Look Q, let's not dick around.....

I want to sell this crew into slavery.....but I need a system that will take these losers......what can I do?

On second thoughts, leave him as Crusher. We need someone to rip the piss out of.

Ok....now I need to talk to Q. The rest of you, please get out.

So, Q, about those Klingon ladies we were trafficking last year....word is out you're doing business in Cardassians now.....don't like the cold blood myself, but I heard there's a demand.....

Sorry, the spoons got on my nerves so I was forced to turn the entire Cardassian race into hydrangias.

[product placement for a garden centre]

I can do you a great line on Hortas tho...

*dematerializes and rematerializes in a sun-bonnet and cute floral themed apron holding a pot*

I take your ignoring me, I'll go

we're understaffed ;) and have crusher-problems :D

lol

well, I will continue then

Ig'nar spoke "send a bording party"

one of the ensines spoke "you know what his name is in Andorian?" he snikered

"I HEARD THAT!" bellowed Ig'nar

*Looks down at his radically different groin area and begins to sob* :cry:

there there.. no need to cry.. I'm sure you'll be a big boy soon ;)

now.. were were we?

oh yes, I remember trying to trick the Q-being into beekerising you.. and that wasn't working.. hmm.. maybe the hologrammatic emerance thingmy can help on this.. as we have no qualified doctor around -

WE'LL HAVE TO REACTIVATE IT!

Look Q, let's not dick around.....

I want to sell this crew into slavery.....but I need a system that will take these losers......what can I do?

A Captain after my own heart - how splendid!

Well, if you're willing to part with them, and don;t mind me making some slight modifications, the Continuum could always to with some extra coffee tables.....

I'll make it worth your while...want to meet 7 of 9?

Look, will someone PLEASE get rid of that ship outside?

And where's the Dentrassi cook? I'm hungry!

(OOC: Mixing universes is so much fun....)

Well Q.....you know...I was just testing you.

Janeway told me you're still a prick.

Nah, I like these guys, I'll keep 'em.

Look, will someone PLEASE get rid of that ship outside?

And where's the Dentrassi cook? I'm hungry!

(OOC: Mixing universes is so much fun....)

*reshapes back into butler*

*hands the captain a menu*

your order sir?

Ig'nar opens a channle

"attention ship, are your shilds up?"

*Looks down at his radically different groin area and begins to sob* :cry:

there there.. no need to cry.. I'm sure you'll be a big boy soon ;)

now.. were were we?

oh yes, I remember trying to trick the Q-being into beekerising you.. and that wasn't working.. hmm.. maybe the hologrammatic emerance thingmy can help on this.. as we have no qualified doctor around -

WE'LL HAVE TO REACTIVATE IT!

Anything to get me out of this pre-pubescent nightmare :cry:

You're not Dentrassi.....Then again, I ain't no Vogon...

*preens himself slightly in mirror*

Make me a Caesar salad.

*puts on reading glasses*

Oh, THAT ship!

*clicks fingers*

*Jazz band appears in sickbay*

:oops: Er, just give me a second here....

**a plasma conduit explodes near her, tossing her across the room, and knocking her unconscious**

**a hedgehog scurries across the floor**

continues to speak

"hello? is this thing on? testing.....1,2,3...testing. Hello?"

Well Q.....you know...I was just testing you.

Janeway told me you're still a prick.

Nah, I like these guys, I'll keep 'em.

Ah yes, the beautiful Kathy....

*sighs whistfully*

Shame about the crew. Oh well, there's always IKEA.

You're not Dentrassi.....Then again, I ain't no Vogon...

*preens himself slightly in mirror*

Make me a Caesar salad.

*general feel-good electronic sound resonates across ship*

exellent choice sir

*hold out hand and funny sparkely-blue-confetti with magical sound cloud materializes into a Caesar salad on a tray*

*carefully places salad on table in front of captain*

anything else for you?

This ship is going to hell....

Yes yes, hello, I can hear you, what the Bajoran brothel bomb do you want?

Anything to get me out of this pre-pubescent nightmare :cry:

*drags weasley/beeker to the sick-bay*

computer - activate emergancy holo-doc, please

Yeah, the old bitch really knew how to screw with time and space. That Kim though, man, was he a wuss!

*snaps fingers*

*Ship materialises in Hell*

Let's see you get out of this one, Mr Starfleet!

Anything to get me out of this pre-pubescent nightmare :cry:

*drags weasley/beeker to the sick-bay*

computer - activate emergancy holo-doc, please

*another human image of the computer appears, except this time it is a hologram instead of flesh*

holographic doctor version 1.0 activates, state your emergency

This ship is going to hell....

Yes yes, hello, I can hear you, what the Bajoran brothel bomb do you want?

are your shildes up?

*snaps fingers*

*Ship materialises in Hell*

Let's see you get out of this one, Mr Starfleet!

*places a fan on captains desk and sets it to high, then adjusts the ships thermostat*

*beams every ensign on board into the neighboring ship*

Takes out his sunglasses. Been here before. My family lived in the USA under Bush, you know.

Yes, Outcasts, our shields are up and we're so f*cking strong that even Hellfire can't get through.

*another human image of the computer appears, except this time it is a hologram instead of flesh*

holographic doctor version 1.0 activates, state your emergency

*pulls the 'victim' in front of the hologram*

I guess we'll be needing a Profusion Crusher Converter - but for that we'll need your medical expertise, doctor

**lies on the floor, close to death. Her breathing slows, and finally stops.....**

Can someone take care of Den'ra please?

She's dying and I'm too lazy to get up.

Dr Hologram...please help...Q has turned me into Wesley Crusher and now my nubile young assistant doesn't fancy me anymore :(

*another human image of the computer appears, except this time it is a hologram instead of flesh*

holographic doctor version 1.0 activates, state your emergency

*pulls the 'victim' in front of the hologram*

I guess we'll be needing a Profusion Crusher Converter - but for that we'll need your medical expertise, doctor

*looks at the victim*

good god....

*places victim onto a bed and activates an emergency force-field around it*

*picks up a medical tricorder and does some scans*

Profusion Crusher Converter could be dangerous, annoying plot gimmick levels are much too high *points at tricorder readout*

**lies on the floor, close to death. Her breathing slows, and finally stops.....**

Medical emergency on deck 9, transporter room!

...oh wait, I can't talk...

*beams the holo-doctor into the transporter room*

**lies on the floor, close to death. Her breathing slows, and finally stops.....**

*single tear*

Alas, non-descript generic crewmember, I new you well.....

*harps being playing Abide with Me*

Yes, Outcasts, our shields are up and we're so f*cking strong that even Hellfire can't get through.

"yes sir, they are up"

"crap. well...err.......RAMMING SPEED!"

"uh, sir that would be the end of your carrer"

"what carrer? I'm a failer"

"is it because of your name?"

"I TOLD YOU NEVER TO MENTION THAT! NOW, RAMMING SPEED!"

that's when Ig'nar blew up, for no apparent reason

the crew shouted, "3 DAY WEEKEND!"

Q, ha ha, very funny, now can we get back to our Universe please?

*taps her intercom*

damn - too slow :?

**lies on the floor, close to death. Her breathing slows, and finally stops.....**

Medical emergency on deck 9, transporter room!

...oh wait, I can't talk...

*beams the holo-doctor into the transporter room*

what the...?

I was with a patient, but oh no, you just can't wait can you?

*gets out medical tricorder*

well, whats the problem here?

*Grumps*

Picard would have liked Hell....

*Sniffs*

*Returns ship to normal space*

*Sees the holo-Doctor disappear and with him...his hope and dreams of a long and fulfilling sex life* :(

*another human image of the computer appears, except this time it is a hologram instead of flesh*

holographic doctor version 1.0 activates, state your emergency

*pulls the 'victim' in front of the hologram*

I guess we'll be needing a Profusion Crusher Converter - but for that we'll need your medical expertise, doctor

*looks at the victim*

good god....

*places victim onto a bed and activates an emergency force-field around it*

*picks up a medical tricorder and does some scans*

Profusion Crusher Converter could be dangerous, annoying plot gimmick levels are much too high *points at tricorder readout*

I'm more a follower of natural medicine. These plasmatic mud-worms from the planet Gorgon IV ought to do the trick

*reaches into a container and removes a single, rather mean looking worm*

and yes silly, I'm a hologram, I can be in two places at once

Good boy.....

Because, you know I am MORE powerful than you. Look at my name.....yes, that's right....

I am the Great God Zarquon. And gods have more power than simple omnipotent beings. Put that in your intergalactic pipe and smoke it, you.....god wannabe.

(OOC: If anyone doesn't know who Zarquon is, maybe you're not enough of a science fiction geek)

*Sees the holo-Doctor disappear and with him...his hope and dreams of a long and fulfilling sex life* :(

*Female Q appears and looks longingly at Wesley*

*Smokes new God intergalactic pipe*

*Begins to feel funny*

Cheers Captain!

I'm more a follower of natural medicine. These plasmatic mud-worms from the planet Gorgon IV ought to do the trick

*reaches into a container and removes a single, rather mean looking worm*

Bloody hell...your not putting that thing anywhere near me...unless...ahhh...I get you that's for the...eh...

*Winks at the hologram and lies back*

I'm more a follower of natural medicine. These plasmatic mud-worms from the planet Gorgon IV ought to do the trick

*reaches into a container and removes a single, rather mean looking worm*

Bloody hell...your not putting that thing anywhere near me...unless...ahhh...I get you that's for the...eh...

*Winks at the hologram and lies back*

:? right...

*presses a button and the entire volume of the area enclosed by the emergency force field, which Wesley is in, is filled to the brim with the worms*

just hold still it will only take a minute...

as the people pary, 2 Dominion ships blow them to kingdom come, then leave

*is glad his crew is so happy and fulfilled......begins to reminisce about Den'ra's mother*

Man, her boobs..........stellar stuff....

*kicks the dustbin in one of the medibays corners.. changes out of the blue dress and dons a red one instead*

*marches up to the captains ready-room*

sir.. need someone in charge of security?

**lies on the floor, close to death. Her breathing slows, and finally stops.....**

Medical emergency on deck 9, transporter room!

...oh wait, I can't talk...

*beams the holo-doctor into the transporter room*

what the...?

I was with a patient, but oh no, you just can't wait can you?

*gets out medical tricorder*

well, whats the problem here?

(I can't talk, I'm not even humanoid. Gidetisms' character is lying dead on the floor but can still have a resuscitation)

Nurse, just.......replicate a security officer.....

Till someone comes along.

I'm more a follower of natural medicine. These plasmatic mud-worms from the planet Gorgon IV ought to do the trick

*reaches into a container and removes a single, rather mean looking worm*

Bloody hell...your not putting that thing anywhere near me...unless...ahhh...I get you that's for the...eh...

*Winks at the hologram and lies back*

:? right...

*presses a button and the entire volume of the area enclosed by the emergency force field, which Wesley is in, is filled to the brim with the worms*

just hold still it will only take a minute...

there we are, all done

*presses a button and the worms disappear, leaving beeker in the containment field*

there now, that wasn't so bad now was it?

**lies on the floor, close to death. Her breathing slows, and finally stops.....**

Medical emergency on deck 9, transporter room!

...oh wait, I can't talk...

*beams the holo-doctor into the transporter room*

what the...?

I was with a patient, but oh no, you just can't wait can you?

*gets out medical tricorder*

well, whats the problem here?

(I can't talk, I'm not even humanoid. Gidetisms' character is lying dead on the floor but can still have a resuscitation)

*looks at the strange telepathic hedgehog and then walks over to Gidetisms and administers a hypospray of all-purpose life restoring medical stuff*

Nurse, just.......replicate a security officer.....

Till someone comes along.

*stands there - as a female redshirt - hoping that the captain knows that redshirts that have a line and aren't officers have a high mortality rote*

who's head of security, sir?

Yes...I'm whole again...Taps his communicator...Nurse Flayers can you meet me at my crew quarters...I would like to Discuss Ferenghi biology with you 8)

Well, I'm off to the little admiral's room to read my *ahem* logbook....

(OOC: I'm off to bed so I can wake up tomorrow so as not to fail my &*^$ing exams because of this forum)

**lies on the floor, close to death. Her breathing slows, and finally stops.....**

Medical emergency on deck 9, transporter room!

...oh wait, I can't talk...

*beams the holo-doctor into the transporter room*

what the...?

I was with a patient, but oh no, you just can't wait can you?

*gets out medical tricorder*

well, whats the problem here?

(I can't talk, I'm not even humanoid. Gidetisms' character is lying dead on the floor but can still have a resuscitation)

*looks at the strange telepathic hedgehog and then walks over to Gidetisms and administers a hypospray of all-purpose life restoring medical stuff*

**opens eyes, and slowly sits up...half of her body is covered in plasma burns but otherwise is ok**

Yes...I'm whole again...Taps his communicator...Nurse Flayers can you meet me at my crew quarters...I would like to Discuss Ferenghi biology with you 8)

right then

*deactivates containment field*

heres your bill

*hands over the bill*

Yes...I'm whole again...Taps his communicator...Nurse Flayers can you meet me at my crew quarters...I would like to Discuss Ferenghi biology with you 8)

*nurse Flayers intercom beeps in the mishapen dustbin that is the final resting place of her former uniform*

Goodnight, Captain

*Appears outsides Beeker's window with a pair of binoculars*

Where is that woman?

*Makes his way to the Bridge*

**lies on the floor, close to death. Her breathing slows, and finally stops.....**

Medical emergency on deck 9, transporter room!

...oh wait, I can't talk...

*beams the holo-doctor into the transporter room*

what the...?

I was with a patient, but oh no, you just can't wait can you?

*gets out medical tricorder*

well, whats the problem here?

(I can't talk, I'm not even humanoid. Gidetisms' character is lying dead on the floor but can still have a resuscitation)

*looks at the strange telepathic hedgehog and then walks over to Gidetisms and administers a hypospray of all-purpose life restoring medical stuff*

**opens eyes, and slowly sits up...half of her body is covered in plasma burns but otherwise is ok**

*emergency transports Gidetisms to the sickbay just in time as he now notes he is up to his knees in plasma*

good thing I'm a hologram

*twitches slightly and disappears*

Uh oh, the plasma is still rising...

*beams the pond of plasma into Engineering*

Where is that woman?

*Makes his way to the Bridge*

well - as I'm a redshirt and the captain went to bed without instilling officerdom upon me - I guess I'll be dead as soon as he next crisis arises

***finds herself lying on a bio bed, with a strange hologram bending over her**

***finds herself lying on a bio bed, with a strange hologram bending over her**

hello there, just tending to these burns here

*gets a package of gordorlean leaches*

these will do the trick

*sets up a medical monitor and ties it into the sensor array above the bio-bed and then proceeds into office where there is much paperwork to be done*

**watches the leeches curiously**

**lies back, and thinks of her mother**

"So that's the man she fell in love with, the man that cost her her life...."

Where is that woman?

*Makes his way to the Bridge*

well - as I'm a redshirt and the captain went to bed without instilling officerdom upon me - I guess I'll be dead as soon as he next crisis arises

Um...what are you doing...could we not have discussed this first...you are such an attention seeker...look you are embarrasing me in front of the crew... :?

Um...what are you doing...could we not have discussed this first...you are such an attention seeker...look you are embarrasing me in front of the crew... :?

you were "busy" with the female Q.. everyone else is ignoring me.. I guess I could eject mysef into space and nobody would notice :x

Um...what are you doing...could we not have discussed this first...you are such an attention seeker...look you are embarrasing me in front of the crew... :?

you were "busy" with the female Q.. everyone else is ignoring me.. I guess I could eject mysef into space and nobody would notice :x

Female Q? :?

Come on...I think it's time you went to bed for some much needed R+R and to tell you the truth...you look quite nice in red :D

:x

:?

some strange goo appears in 10-forward

*beams the strange goo into the bridge*

"hey you wierdo, what are you doing"

"well, anyways I'm Nard-nardis-nordos-narzodo-nardoza-naris, or Mr. Goo for short"

*slimes way into holobay*

*grunts in sleep*

I hate Star Trek!

*wakes up momentarily to blast CE with an 'Ignoreidiot' phaser.*

I hate Star Trek!
*beams CE of the ship and "accidentely" scrambles his molecules during transport*
Ooops.

I hate Star Trek!
*beams CE of the ship and "accidentely" scrambles his molecules during transport*
Ooops.

mr. goo loves violence

*giggles and grows a bit bigger*

sorry, puppet nation

http://www.classicgaming.com/rotw/zerowing/zwintro1.gif

http://www.classicgaming.com/rotw/zerowing/zwintro1.gif

I don't get it...........

*Tries to catch up to S.S. Nationstates in Runabout.*

*Maneuvers Runabout alongside Nationstates* Hmmm, she appears to be deserted.

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US

>blares over the intercom of the Runabout<

blob eats last person on-board

*burp*

There's no TV in space.
That makes me sad.
:cry:

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US

>blares over the intercom of the Runabout<That was rude.

*7 of 9 wakes up*Are we still under attack?
No?*returns towards regenarating*

*Puts runabout on autopilot and beams over to ship.*

*Unslings Tricorder and draws Phaser* Hello! I'm Ensign Lakarian from Outpost 10F.

*The Young Ensign's Footfalls echo down the deserted corridor.*

*Meanwhile, deep in the bowels of the ship, something ancient and evil lurks* :evil:

*Gets into Eerie turbolift.* Computer, Take me to the bridge.

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US

>blares over the intercom of the Runabout<

*Medical Staff Dr Beeker paces the Med-Lab...pushing buttons on the thingamejig to try and get a reation out of the whotzizname*

Hmmmm... :?

*walks into the room, sees this*
http://www.swank.ca/caffeen/jesse/skitrip2002/nerds.jpg
*...leaves*

*walks into the room, sees this*
<http://www.swank.ca/caffeen/jesse/skitrip2002/nerds.jpg>
[Moderator Edit - Cogitation] Please remember to remove IMG tags when quoting, especially for large images, thank you. [/modedit]
*...leaves*

where do you get these pics?

*Runs up in the Frelandish Battle Cutter Nova*

Watch your back. The Frelandish Battle cutter is undefeated.

*cough* modalert.

SOMEBODY SET UP US THE BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

dude, this is trippy: http://www.freshsensation.com/samorost.swf

SOMEBODY SET UP US THE BOMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
What you say?

*cough* modalert.

I checked with another mod, the picture isn't over-the-line.

--The Modified Democratic States of Cogitation

What you say?
Operator: "We get signal!"

Something is very wrong on this ship.

*Sets Phaser to KILL*

*walks into the room, sees this*
http://www.swank.ca/caffeen/jesse/skitrip2002/nerds.jpg
*...leaves*Can you guys tell me how to get to the bridge?

I want off this shit, er ship!

*Appoints self acting Senior Officer*

I want off this shit, er ship!Pull yourself together Mister or you'll be cleaning the Zero G latrine, not a pretty job I assure you. Now what happend here?

And what's with the naked guys? :shock: :?