Klonor
26-05-2007, 04:13
Don't get me wrong, Syrup's a great book, I've re-read it repeatedly (And I'm reading it again right now) and I've enjoyed it each time. Max, if you happen to be reading this, don't take this post as any sort of slight against your or your work. Still, there are two issues that I have with the story, and I just can't seem to get them out of my mind.
The first is 6. I love the whole tough-as-nails viciousness and desire to succeed, but from the very beginning I knew, I knew, that she would fall for Scat. I never even entertained the notion that she was a lesbian, at the most she might have been bisexual, and the way she said "I fuck girls" right off the bat just kinda told me there's no way she's actually gay. It might just be me, I do have a talent for predicting the outcome of novels and movies (I'm actually quite proud of just how often I realise the climactic plot twist an hour before it happens), but it really does seem too obvious. On the whole, she seemed a bit too one-dimensional for me, nothing she did really came as any sort of surprise to me.
The other thing is a bit more specific: The scene in the strip club. Though it's amusing, the fact is it should never have happened at all. At least, not the way it played out.
See, the way 6 and Scat play it (Well, the way 6 plays it, since Scat mainly just follows her lead) is that they're determined to survive the strip club and outlast the unpleasantless that Sneaky Pete has set up to knock them down (Sneaky Pete, by the way, is just preternaturally cool); planning to barrel through the obstacles like a bull going for a matador. What they should have done is just sidestepped the obstacles right off the bat, as the matador does to the bull (Sorry, but I've had bull-fighting on my mind for a while now, and I'm not exactly sure why). The first obstacle Scat and 6 face (Apart from being in a strip club, of course) is the two strippers which seem determined to stay by their sides as soon as the conference starts. They just grit their teeth and bear it, ignoring it as best they can. What I or anybody else with half a mind would do is turn to the strippers and plainly state, "Go away and leave me alone." If they're simply two women doing their jobs without prodding from Sneaky Pete they should back off (You might have to repeat the statement, possibly with swear words or threatened violence, but eventually the message should get across). Now, there's the distinct possibility that Sneaky Pete might have persuaded them to be a little more insistent in their stripper-duties, but there's a pretty simple answer for that, too. "Go away and leave me alone, or I call the police and mention your name quite specifically." They could probably accuse them of sexual assault, even without actually having sex the two women were quite handsy without consent, and lie if they like (It'd be quite easy, and believable, to accuse the strippers of attempting to prostitute themselves). Now I wouldn't actually expect an arrest here, and I'm sure the strippers wouldn't either, but it would most certainly throw the club into disarray and possibly cost them their jobs, more trouble than whatever Pete's paying them is worth (Though I'm sure he's making it quite worth their while, I doubt they're planning to retire on what he's giving them).
So, a single spoken sentence and suddenly 6 and Scat aren't holding a meeting while being molested, they're just holding a conference call in an unusual location. Simple and easy.
But maybe there's a reason why 6 and Scat don't try this, maybe 6 is determined to sit through the meeting with her little buddy right beside her, a sort of "Ha, it didn't even faze me" or something like that. Improbable, but I'll bite. Still, it gets worse. They're on the conference call with the Coke CEO and, wham! (By the way, why the heck is the strip club playing Wham!? That's just cooky), Pete "reveals" that 6 is pregnant. She, of course, freaks, and storms out of the club, defeated. The problem is, there's another really simple response to that. "Mr. CEO, not only am I not pregnant, and I'm willing to undergo any medical procedure you wish to assure you of this fact, but I regret to inform you that Pete has just knowingly lied to you. Not only has he purposefully attempted to deceive you, but he was caught in that deception. If this had been a press conference, or perhaps a new ad, an official Coke representative would be revealed to be a liar before the world. Consider the impact on our sales, with public confidence shaken our credibility would sink like an anchor, dragging our profits with them, and we'd have to increase our marketing budgets incredibly just to control the damage." Not only would that cover any damage Pete's accusation of pregnancy might have caused, but it would knock Pete down a few pegs, too (The business world might not be the most honest of places, but they work damn hard to make sure the public doesn't figure that out. Lying might not be frowned upon, but bad lying sure as hell is).
I'm quite aware that I've had a bit more time to think about this than 6 and Scat have had, I've had a few years to consider all the possible reactions to what they face, but come on, these aren't exactly great leaps of logic. It's essentially telling the strippers to fuck off, and then giving Pete the finger as you say "He's lying!"
On the whole the book's great, but seriously, that scene's just not great.
The first is 6. I love the whole tough-as-nails viciousness and desire to succeed, but from the very beginning I knew, I knew, that she would fall for Scat. I never even entertained the notion that she was a lesbian, at the most she might have been bisexual, and the way she said "I fuck girls" right off the bat just kinda told me there's no way she's actually gay. It might just be me, I do have a talent for predicting the outcome of novels and movies (I'm actually quite proud of just how often I realise the climactic plot twist an hour before it happens), but it really does seem too obvious. On the whole, she seemed a bit too one-dimensional for me, nothing she did really came as any sort of surprise to me.
The other thing is a bit more specific: The scene in the strip club. Though it's amusing, the fact is it should never have happened at all. At least, not the way it played out.
See, the way 6 and Scat play it (Well, the way 6 plays it, since Scat mainly just follows her lead) is that they're determined to survive the strip club and outlast the unpleasantless that Sneaky Pete has set up to knock them down (Sneaky Pete, by the way, is just preternaturally cool); planning to barrel through the obstacles like a bull going for a matador. What they should have done is just sidestepped the obstacles right off the bat, as the matador does to the bull (Sorry, but I've had bull-fighting on my mind for a while now, and I'm not exactly sure why). The first obstacle Scat and 6 face (Apart from being in a strip club, of course) is the two strippers which seem determined to stay by their sides as soon as the conference starts. They just grit their teeth and bear it, ignoring it as best they can. What I or anybody else with half a mind would do is turn to the strippers and plainly state, "Go away and leave me alone." If they're simply two women doing their jobs without prodding from Sneaky Pete they should back off (You might have to repeat the statement, possibly with swear words or threatened violence, but eventually the message should get across). Now, there's the distinct possibility that Sneaky Pete might have persuaded them to be a little more insistent in their stripper-duties, but there's a pretty simple answer for that, too. "Go away and leave me alone, or I call the police and mention your name quite specifically." They could probably accuse them of sexual assault, even without actually having sex the two women were quite handsy without consent, and lie if they like (It'd be quite easy, and believable, to accuse the strippers of attempting to prostitute themselves). Now I wouldn't actually expect an arrest here, and I'm sure the strippers wouldn't either, but it would most certainly throw the club into disarray and possibly cost them their jobs, more trouble than whatever Pete's paying them is worth (Though I'm sure he's making it quite worth their while, I doubt they're planning to retire on what he's giving them).
So, a single spoken sentence and suddenly 6 and Scat aren't holding a meeting while being molested, they're just holding a conference call in an unusual location. Simple and easy.
But maybe there's a reason why 6 and Scat don't try this, maybe 6 is determined to sit through the meeting with her little buddy right beside her, a sort of "Ha, it didn't even faze me" or something like that. Improbable, but I'll bite. Still, it gets worse. They're on the conference call with the Coke CEO and, wham! (By the way, why the heck is the strip club playing Wham!? That's just cooky), Pete "reveals" that 6 is pregnant. She, of course, freaks, and storms out of the club, defeated. The problem is, there's another really simple response to that. "Mr. CEO, not only am I not pregnant, and I'm willing to undergo any medical procedure you wish to assure you of this fact, but I regret to inform you that Pete has just knowingly lied to you. Not only has he purposefully attempted to deceive you, but he was caught in that deception. If this had been a press conference, or perhaps a new ad, an official Coke representative would be revealed to be a liar before the world. Consider the impact on our sales, with public confidence shaken our credibility would sink like an anchor, dragging our profits with them, and we'd have to increase our marketing budgets incredibly just to control the damage." Not only would that cover any damage Pete's accusation of pregnancy might have caused, but it would knock Pete down a few pegs, too (The business world might not be the most honest of places, but they work damn hard to make sure the public doesn't figure that out. Lying might not be frowned upon, but bad lying sure as hell is).
I'm quite aware that I've had a bit more time to think about this than 6 and Scat have had, I've had a few years to consider all the possible reactions to what they face, but come on, these aren't exactly great leaps of logic. It's essentially telling the strippers to fuck off, and then giving Pete the finger as you say "He's lying!"
On the whole the book's great, but seriously, that scene's just not great.