New People
30-12-2003, 04:11
So this Christmas I was a bit disappointed to see I didn't get Syrup. No biggie, I thought to myself. They have opened up a Barnes * Noble superstore at the local mall, which must be good because it drove all the smaller bookstores out of business.
December 26 myself and my family (the great New People *does* have a domestic life, you know) stop by Best Buy -the local electronics superstore- to exchange a few items. To describe Best Buy would be to quote Charleton Heston in Planet of the Apes, when he sees the horrific reality of apes hunting people: "It's a madhouse! A maaaadhouse!"
No kidding. In America, we call it Boxing Day because that's the day you have more desire to beat the crap out of people around you than any other day.
After that we eat lunch at our semi-local restaurant (Schlotsky's, I recommend it) and browse Barnes and Nobles. I myself am looking for Syrup.
To my dismay there is no Max Barry book in the store. None. At all. Where you should see Max Barry's entertaining Jennifer Government, his evil brother, Dave Barry, sits. Some day there will be a Kung Fu battle between Max and Dave. I guarantee you this.
Feeling distraught, I wander around the store some more and after I visit the generic charming-little-coffee-shop-inside-the-bookstore I see the customer service desk. Above it were banners describing how helpful and polite their customer service people were. "What the hay" I says.
I mosey on up to the counter and ask if they have got Syrup (I hear it's rather good) by Maxx Barry. No, the #18golden customer service lady tells me with a look that is a cross between devotion to what she was doing before and a desire to help me ("help me die!" I thought).
Having tasted defeat, I quietly surrender and retreat. BUT, she has one more volley to send at me before I've been destroyed. I wonder what it could be?
"Would you like me to order it for you?"
"Oh. Okay. Sure."
"And what was it again? Syro?"
"Syrup. S-y-r-u-p by Maxx Barry."
"I take it by you holding the 'icksssss' there are three 'x's in there."
"No. Just the two."
"Okey-dokey. What's your first name and phone number?"
I tell her my rank, "Field Commander New People of the Atlantic Central Command, acting on behalf of the Atlantic Alliance. We are the first multi-region UN alliance in Nationstates history, and the most professional alliance in the game. You may find me in Marsburg. I have no need for a phone number."
Actually, I would have loved to have told her that. Man, that would have been so cool. Instead I give her my digits with a remorseful sigh.
"Okay, Mr.New People, your book has been ordered and it should be ready for you in a week. We'll call you when it gets there."
Having snatched victory from the jaws of defeat I turn around and walk with a spring in my step towards the door. But before I go, I turn oncemore and say
"That was, err umm... easy."
"Mmhm :D" she said.
So it looks like it will be mine in a few days. I have it nearly in my grasp. I'd recommend Barnes and Noble to anyone else looking for a book.
Another triumph for Field Commander New People against those little inconveniences in life.
December 26 myself and my family (the great New People *does* have a domestic life, you know) stop by Best Buy -the local electronics superstore- to exchange a few items. To describe Best Buy would be to quote Charleton Heston in Planet of the Apes, when he sees the horrific reality of apes hunting people: "It's a madhouse! A maaaadhouse!"
No kidding. In America, we call it Boxing Day because that's the day you have more desire to beat the crap out of people around you than any other day.
After that we eat lunch at our semi-local restaurant (Schlotsky's, I recommend it) and browse Barnes and Nobles. I myself am looking for Syrup.
To my dismay there is no Max Barry book in the store. None. At all. Where you should see Max Barry's entertaining Jennifer Government, his evil brother, Dave Barry, sits. Some day there will be a Kung Fu battle between Max and Dave. I guarantee you this.
Feeling distraught, I wander around the store some more and after I visit the generic charming-little-coffee-shop-inside-the-bookstore I see the customer service desk. Above it were banners describing how helpful and polite their customer service people were. "What the hay" I says.
I mosey on up to the counter and ask if they have got Syrup (I hear it's rather good) by Maxx Barry. No, the #18golden customer service lady tells me with a look that is a cross between devotion to what she was doing before and a desire to help me ("help me die!" I thought).
Having tasted defeat, I quietly surrender and retreat. BUT, she has one more volley to send at me before I've been destroyed. I wonder what it could be?
"Would you like me to order it for you?"
"Oh. Okay. Sure."
"And what was it again? Syro?"
"Syrup. S-y-r-u-p by Maxx Barry."
"I take it by you holding the 'icksssss' there are three 'x's in there."
"No. Just the two."
"Okey-dokey. What's your first name and phone number?"
I tell her my rank, "Field Commander New People of the Atlantic Central Command, acting on behalf of the Atlantic Alliance. We are the first multi-region UN alliance in Nationstates history, and the most professional alliance in the game. You may find me in Marsburg. I have no need for a phone number."
Actually, I would have loved to have told her that. Man, that would have been so cool. Instead I give her my digits with a remorseful sigh.
"Okay, Mr.New People, your book has been ordered and it should be ready for you in a week. We'll call you when it gets there."
Having snatched victory from the jaws of defeat I turn around and walk with a spring in my step towards the door. But before I go, I turn oncemore and say
"That was, err umm... easy."
"Mmhm :D" she said.
So it looks like it will be mine in a few days. I have it nearly in my grasp. I'd recommend Barnes and Noble to anyone else looking for a book.
Another triumph for Field Commander New People against those little inconveniences in life.