NationStates Jolt Archive

Promotion of Whaling

Category: Advancement of Industry

Area of Effect: Environmental Deregulation

The World Assembly,

Celebrating the rich cultural heritage and traditions of whaling societies worldwide,

Recognizing the contributions of the whaling sector to the world economy,

Further recognizing the health benefits of a diet high in whale protein,

Acknowledging the many other industrial and commercial uses of whale-derived products,

Believing that whales are an important natural resource which should be exploited for the betterment of all peoples,

Noting, with alarm, that many member governments seek to curtail, regulate, or even ban the taking of whales for commercial purposes. This in the face of compelling evidence that whales, due to their enormous displacement, are contributing to sea-level rise and endangering millions of coastal inhabitants,

Wishing to rectify this situation, hereby,

1. Removes, repeals and rescinds all national and international laws, regulations, treaties and agreements seeking to curtail, reduce or ban the taking of whales in national or international waters.

2. Encourages the trade and consumption of whale meat and whale-derived products in all World Assembly member nations.

3. Establishes the World Assembly Whaling Institute to study and promote new and innovative commercial whaling techniques and to pursue the development of improved consumer products derived from whales.

4. Forbids the use of World Assembly funds for the purpose of promoting anti-whaling agendas.

This is a proposal which I and my staff have been working on in recent days. As avid whalers, the People of Aundotutunagir are keen to promote the interests of the whaling industry and remove barriers in the form of misguided environmental regulations.

This draft is in the early stages and I invite suggestions from my fellow ambassadors. I can add a poll if any of you think it would be beneficial.

We applaud the forward thinking people of Aundotutunagir for this proposal, though we feel their preamble omits a significant justification for whaling: their large displacement, which in this time of global warming and rising sea levels is a dangerous impediment to the environment. 'Project Eureka', a policy of aggressive whaling (and killing anything that looks a bit like a whale), would lower sea levels and mitigate the need for costly and unpopular emissions caps.

-- Dr Lois Merrywether
WA Ambassador

We applaud the forward thinking people of Aundotutunagir for this proposal, though we feel their preamble omits a significant justification for whaling: their large displacement, which in this time of global warming and rising sea levels is a dangerous impediment to the environment. 'Project Eureka', a policy of aggressive whaling (and killing anything that looks a bit like a whale), would lower sea levels and mitigate the need for costly and unpopular emissions caps.

-- Dr Lois Merrywether
WA Ambassador
I can't believe we overlooked that...it will be added to the text. Thank you Doctor Merrywether.

Terribly sorry that Dr. Castro could not be here. He's orchestrating a regional convention for the following week or so. As Chief Envoy, I'm to take his place for the time being.

Oh, yes. About the proposal. I'm terribly sorry, but we cannot support it on grounds that it's not backed by any scientific data relating whale displacement to sea-level displacement. The whole idea is based on the size of seas, which is a national trait and should be dealt with on a national level.

Of course, I'm not entirely certain if this wasn't a joke to begin with... I appreciate the humor, either way. The World Assembly is a lot better with humor than those radical separatists regions I used to be assigned to.

Emile Marquis, Chief Envoy
Department of Foreign Relations
from the Commonwealth of Glen-Rhodes

Oh, yes. About the proposal. I'm terribly sorry, but we cannot support it on grounds that it's not backed by any scientific data relating whale displacement to sea-level displacement. The whole idea is based on the size of seas, which is a national trait and should be dealt with on a national level.
Wait...what? How are seas 'national trait[s]'? Scores of nations in Wysteria have coasts on the Azure Sea, not just us. An entirely self-contained sea would, arguably, not be a sea but a lake. Furthermore, the WA has legislated on sea-related issues already, such as the recent Cobdenian proposal; the UN passed numerous laws relating to oceans and seas.

I think it is clear that the Glen-Rhodes delegation to have been infiltrated by radical pro-whale elements, or at least has fallen prey to their whalabbist propaganda. Next you'll be defending arctocephali!

-- Phil
Stapling Intern
Office of WA Affairs

Wait...what? How are seas 'national trait[s]'? Scores of nations in Wysteria have coasts on the Azure Sea, not just us. An entirely self-contained sea would, arguably, not be a sea but a lake. Furthermore, the WA has legislated on sea-related issues already, such as the recent Cobdenian proposal; the UN passed numerous laws relating to oceans and seas.

I think it is clear that the Glen-Rhodes delegation to have been infiltrated by radical pro-whale elements, or at least has fallen prey to their whalabbist propaganda. Next you'll be defending arctocephali!

-- Phil
Stapling Intern
Office of WA Affairs
Nations was the wrong term, there. Regional, international, but certainly not at the scope of the World Assembly. Think about it: wales causing sea levels to rise depends entirely on the size of those seas, or the amount of water on a planet. For a planet with an abundance of water, the notion that whale levels could reach a high enough amount to change sea levels is absurd. However, if a planet has only small amounts of water, relatively speaking, then the possibility that whale populations might effect the sea levels increase.

Of course, you must take in to account the depth of seas, the size of whale species, and whether or not a rising sea level is even a dangerous occurrence.

It's something best done through international legislation on a regional scale, rather than a universal scale, such as would be done through the World Assembly.

And yes, the Department is partly populated with anti-whaling liberals. But, I assure you that this fact has not, in any way, affected our stance on this issue.

Emile Marquis, Chief Envoy
Department of Foreign Relations
from the Commonwealth of Glen-Rhodes

While we are certain that these monsters of the deep are at least partly responsible for rising sea levels, it is possible that other factors are at work as well. The inclusion of the reference to rising sea levels may prove controversial and could hinder the passage of this legislation thus it might not be included in the final draft.

wales causing sea levels to rise depends entirely on the size of those seas
Those Welsh are always up to some sort of mischief. I wouldn't put it past them regardless of the size of the seas involved.

I foolly sooppurt thees prupusel. Zee lev ooff soopply und demund tell me-a thet iff mure-a vheles ere-a herfested zeen zee preece-a ooff vhele-a meet veell decreese-a. Und iff zee preece-a gues doon I cun effffurd tu cuuk vhele-a mure-a oofftee. Bork Bork Bork!

http://www.thenest.nu/archive/scam_letters/swedish_chef_02.jpg
Sven
Bob Flibble's personal chef

Arr, we be supporting this. We been looking fer a reason to roll out the ninety pounders. Whalin' be a good sport, 'specially when we be using land lubbers fer bait.

*Eduard walks over with a harpoon gun*
*waves*

Hey!

I like you're proposal, it's a good start towards a better world, a free society where men and women can hunt all aquatic life as they should be able to without restrictions!

I've always had a particular theory about arctic marine amphibians, back in the sixties our schools enforced a series of tests to determine those students that we're of higher intelligence and could potentially become evil geniuses. Those that passed we're put on
an iceberg and left to die. Why do people protect the seals? CAUSE THEY'RE IN ON THE PLAN! The marine life have been breeding with the evil geniuses, they've created their own super-race. I've read the books on the mythic real world, OH HOLY SON OF THE BEATLE, JOHN LENNON the Baptist, "THE WALRUS IS PAUL!" his scripture read, the same walrus that eats all the oysters, and thou who realizes is the same, SAINT PAUL thats tries to save the seals? See all the little piggies, clutching their forks and knifes...

HELTER SKELTER HELTER SKELTER HELTER SKELTER HELTER SKELTER

which in this time of global warming

We have global warming in Wysteria?

-Ariovist Lynxkind, Ambassador

I foolly sooppurt thees prupusel. Zee lev ooff soopply und demund tell me-a thet iff mure-a vheles ere-a herfested zeen zee preece-a ooff vhele-a meet veell decreese-a. Und iff zee preece-a gues doon I cun effffurd tu cuuk vhele-a mure-a oofftee. Bork Bork Bork!

http://www.thenest.nu/archive/scam_letters/swedish_chef_02.jpg
Sven
Bob Flibble's personal chef


OOC: okay, now you officially own!

I believe that my government would be willing to support this proposal, as long as two details can be clarified to our satisfaction.
Firstly, we strongly hope that this is only supposed to apply to non-sapient whales, and is not attempting to promote the genocidal destruction of sapient whales as well.
Secondly, we would like the wording of this clause1. Removes, repeals and rescinds all national and international laws, regulations, treaties and agreements seeking to curtail, reduce or ban the taking of whales in national or international waters.modified to make it clear that nations would still be free to exclude foreign whalers from their territorial waters (and from any other waters in which international law might give them exclusive economic rights).


Borrin o Redwood,
Chairbear, Bears Armed Mission to the World Assembly
for
The High Council of Clans,
The Confederated Clans of the Free Bears of Bears Armed.

This in the face of compelling evidence that whales, due to their enormous displacement, are contributing to sea-level rise and endangering millions of coastal inhabitants,Surely, by that logic we should be looking to outlaw shipping and submarines because of the displacement of water they cause.

Or people going to the seaside for a dip during a warm day? Especially those obese people who could easily be mistaken for beached whales.

Perhaps a more balanced solution would be to increase the buoyancy of the whales so that less of their bulk is occupying water....both the two legged and marine varieties.

This is an excellent idea but it should not make meat-eating compulsory.

This is an excellent idea but it should not make meat-eating compulsory.


OOC: Um, it can't cause that would be illegal. I don't see how you're getting that.

OOC: Um, it can't cause that would be illegal. I don't see how you're getting that.Agreed. However....
"Encourages the trade and consumption of whale meat and whale-derived products in all World Assembly member nations."

Why is whale meat to be encouraged above the consumption of other meat?

The Raj supports this fantastic and important proposal.

Damned whales, coming over here, stealing our jobs

I believe that my government would be willing to support this proposal, as long as two details can be clarified to our satisfaction.
Firstly, we strongly hope that this is only supposed to apply to non-sapient whales, and is not attempting to promote the genocidal destruction of sapient whales as well.

My government believes that the best-tasting whales are those that are able to carry on light conversation before we puncture them with steel and harvest their organs as food.

We have also found that the sapient whales serve as better focus groups for the developing harpoon and whaling boat industry- Komye has just introduced a line of diamond-tipped multi-serrated homing harpoons in their spring line; how are we supposed to know how well the things work if the whales don't tell us?

Surely, by that logic we should be looking to outlaw shipping and submarines because of the displacement of water they cause.

Or people going to the seaside for a dip during a warm day? Especially those obese people who could easily be mistaken for beached whales.

Perhaps a more balanced solution would be to increase the buoyancy of the whales so that less of their bulk is occupying water....both the two legged and marine varieties.

My government is in favor of a "caveat emptor" clause that will simply warn overlarge beach-hounds of the dangerous harpooners in the area; we see no reason to reward both overeating and indecent exposure with protection from harm.

Agreed. However....
"Encourages the trade and consumption of whale meat and whale-derived products in all World Assembly member nations."

Why is whale meat to be encouraged above the consumption of other meat?

I think you'll find it's quite delicious. Nom nom.

Nemo Taranton
Minister of W.A. Affairs

The government of the Emperor of Urgench would support this idea, we are anxious to increase the availability of certain valuable aromatics which may be rendered form the bodies of whales which are of the highest possible value to our national economy.

Yours e.t.c.,

Yes, one must make full use of the captured whales, in the face of the true tradition. EVERYTHING must be used. HAHAHAHA

Those Welsh are always up to some sort of mischief. I wouldn't put it past them regardless of the size of the seas involved.

Hm. The Welsh are tricky, but I don't think they're smart enough to orchestrate whale-based terrorism.

Sam Frisch, Junior Document Collator
Department of Foreign Relations
from the Commonwealth of Glen-Rhodes

Firstly, we strongly hope that this is only supposed to apply to non-sapient whales, and is not attempting to promote the genocidal destruction of sapient whales as well.
Well I'm sure that the sapient whales will speak up and let us know that they are sapient and don't wish to be eaten...
Secondly, we would like the wording of this clausemodified to make it clear that nations would still be free to exclude foreign whalers from their territorial waters (and from any other waters in which international law might give them exclusive economic rights).
Yes, that will have to be addressed. Thank you for pointing it out.

Surely, by that logic we should be looking to outlaw shipping and submarines because of the displacement of water they cause.
But submarines are beneficial to mankind, whales are just a menace.

( OOC: Don't expect the whale displacement/sea-level rise bit to make it into the final version.)


This is an excellent idea but it should not make meat-eating compulsory.
How does it make meat-eating compulsory? Not that I wouldn't like to make meat-eating compulsory, mind you.

Why is whale meat to be encouraged above the consumption of other meat?
If you want to encourage the eating of other meats feel free to do so. This resolution is about whales.

The government of the Emperor of Urgench would support this idea, we are anxious to increase the availability of certain valuable aromatics which may be rendered form the bodies of whales which are of the highest possible value to our national economy.

Yours e.t.c.,
We have a large inventory of ambergris we can sell right now. Contact our trade representative.

We must confess that having hunted verifiably non-endangered species of whale, we fail to see the point. They have almost as little grasp of the concept of stealth as dragons and are markedly less dangerous. Less tasty, also.

Well I'm sure that the sapient whales will speak up and let us know that they are sapient and don't wish to be eaten...Yes they usually do. Their last words are usuall 'I'm not a tuna!' before their cranium is perforated by a harpoon...

-Ariovist Lynxkind, Ambassador

We have a sizeable fishing industry and would favor increased whaling. One minor recommendation is that we would like to see language encouraging sustainable fishing to prevent overharvesting of whale populations. Perhaps education in such practices could be included in the World Assembly Whaling Institute's remit.

Other than that, the Federation would support this proposal.

-Irina Misheli, Acting Ambassador

Agreed. However....
"Encourages the trade and consumption of whale meat and whale-derived products in all World Assembly member nations."

Why is whale meat to be encouraged above the consumption of other meat?

Yes they usually do. Their last words are usuall 'I'm not a tuna!' before their cranium is perforated by a harpoon...

-Ariovist Lynxkind, Ambassador

Dear sirs, My nation is famed for Palentine's Best(TM) Canned Tuna. Years ago the late and unlamented UN banned harming dolphins, so the company was forced to find another filler for the tuna. Taste test shown that Orca made a pretty good substitute for dolphin, followed by the Pilot whale. Humpbacks and the larger sizes proved to be stringier in texture, and had a more gamey taste(although size wise they were more economical.).

We of the Palentine are in favor of this resolution. Our Prime Minister is a member of the board of directors of WhaleCo. Furthermore our brave but foul mouthed naval defenders, the Palentine Naval Dolphin, fully suppport the extermination of the evil beasts .They particulary despise the Orcas and Humpbacks, and have profanely volenteered to lead whalers to prime hunting grounds if this resolution ever passes.

Excelsior,
Sen Horatio Sulla

The World Assembly,

Celebrating the rich cultural heritage and traditions of whaling societies worldwide,

Recognizing the contributions of the whaling sector to the world economy,

Further recognizing the health benefits of a diet high in whale protein,

Acknowledging the many other industrial and commercial uses of whale-derived products,

Believing that whales are an important natural resource which should be exploited for the betterment of all peoples,

Noting, with alarm, that many member governments seek to curtail, regulate, or even ban the taking of whales for commercial purposes. This in the face of compelling evidence that whales, due to their enormous displacement, are contributing to sea-level rise and endangering millions of coastal inhabitants,

Wishing to rectify this situation, hereby,

1. Removes, repeals and rescinds all national and international laws, regulations, treaties and agreements seeking to curtail, reduce or ban the taking of whales in national or international waters with the following exception:

-Nations shall retain the right to restrict foreign whalers from their territorial waters and from any other waters in which international law might give them exclusive economic rights.

2. Encourages the trade and consumption of whale meat and whale-derived products in all World Assembly member nations.

3. Establishes the World Assembly Whaling Institute to:

a. Study and promote new and innovative commercial whaling techniques.

b. Pursue the development of improved consumer products derived from whales.

c. Study the effects of overharvesting and research improved methods of managing whale populations.

d. Offer information to whaling organizations on proper management and conservation of whale populations.

4. Forbids the use of World Assembly funds for the purpose of promoting anti-whaling agendas.

This has been submitted for a test run.

We regret to say that the weight of Gobbannaen public opinion is against this eminently reasonable proposal. We shall endeavour to work on this before the matter comes to a vote.

No joke here: Considering there are Nations composed by intelligent Cats and Bears (and other species that I don't know now), are there not somewhere in the World Nations composed by intelligent Whales?

I foolly sooppurt thees prupusel. Zee lev ooff soopply und demund tell me-a thet iff mure-a vheles ere-a herfested zeen zee preece-a ooff vhele-a meet veell decreese-a. Und iff zee preece-a gues doon I cun effffurd tu cuuk vhele-a mure-a oofftee. Bork Bork Bork!

http://www.thenest.nu/archive/scam_letters/swedish_chef_02.jpg
Sven
Bob Flibble's personal chef

OOC: i don't honestly think I've ever laughed as hard out loud in this forum....

No joke here: Considering there are Nations composed by intelligent Cats and Bears (and other species that I don't know now), are there not somewhere in the World Nations composed by intelligent Whales?
There was one, Worldsong, but its First Singer killed itself in a tragic suicide protest during the debate on Repeal "Banning whaling" in the old United Nations and it hasn't really been seen since.

Their sacrificial post. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12598896&postcount=188)

OOC: i don't honestly think I've ever laughed as hard out loud in this forum....It's a classic. Read the old thread for the whaling repeal if you want to see more. :D

(It's the same thread that Quod just linked to.)

There was one, Worldsong, but its First Singer killed itself in a tragic suicide protest during the debate on Repeal "Banning whaling" in the old United Nations and it hasn't really been seen since.

Their sacrificial post. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12598896&postcount=188)

Holy Z'rquon, how sad! Shouldn't this Draft be presented along a "Whales' Suicide Prevention and Mental Health Act"?

Holy Z'rquon, how sad! Shouldn't this Draft be presented along a "Whales' Suicide Prevention and Mental Health Act"?

We will not support anything that barrs a Whales right to choose. It's their blubber.. not our.

We will not support anything that barrs a Whales right to choose. It's their blubber.. not our.

I was overpowered by sheer terror when I thought of the SIZE antidepressant pills for Whales should have!! A single Whale would deplete the W.A. General Fund!! Better to drop off the idea.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/1/185490586_e8d3cfa691.jpg?v=0

I was overpowered by sheer terror when I thought of the SIZE antidepressant pills for Whales should have!! A single Whale would deplete the W.A. General Fund!! Better to drop off the idea.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/1/185490586_e8d3cfa691.jpg?v=0

How about just dropping the anti-depressants in the ocean anyway? I mean, it may dumb down the Sentient Whales that hunters cant tell them from Non-Sentient ones, but that's the risk you take, hey

-Ariovist Lynxkind, Ambassador

How about just dropping the anti-depressants in the ocean anyway? I mean, it may dumb down the Sentient Whales that hunters cant tell them from Non-Sentient ones, but that's the risk you take, hey

-Ariovist Lynxkind, Ambassador

That sounds nice, but wouldn't the antidepressives alter the taste of non-sentient Whales, otherwise tasty? (Not to mention water in general)

That sounds nice, but wouldn't the antidepressives alter the taste of non-sentient Whales, otherwise tasty? (Not to mention water in general)
Sea water doesn't taste very good to begin with and I doubt the addition of anti-depressants would make it any worse. That said, the People of Aundotutunagir would oppose any dumping of pharmaceuticals into the world's oceans.

Sea water doesn't taste very good to begin with and I doubt the addition of anti-depressants would make it any worse.

I see, and I'm glad you oppose dumping Prozac, Valium and Xanax into the oceans.
But my original concern was with the eventual evaporation of these substances, and its impact on the Ozone Layer, and the of the raining of Prozac, Valium and Xanax on the World's river basins.
Imagine a genetically-engineered crop being inadvertly being fed with Prozac, Valium and Xanax.

I say Fluorine is enough. Enough messing with our precious bodily fluids (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1KvgtEnABY).

No!

No!
Explain.

Sea water doesn't taste very good to begin with and I doubt the addition of anti-depressants would make it any worse. That said, the People of Aundotutunagir would oppose any dumping of pharmaceuticals into the world's oceans.


Oh indeed ? Even if these pharmaceuticals have no adverse effects on the environment ?

Oh and we are very interested in those Ambergris surpluses you mentioned honoured Ambassador, naturally we have ways and means of transforming the raw un-weathered kind into the fragrance viable kind and are extremely interested in availing ourselves of as much as possible.

Yours,

Oh indeed ? Even if these pharmaceuticals have no adverse effects on the environment ?
Yes, we would be opposed to that.

Oh and we are very interested in those Ambergris surpluses you mentioned honoured Ambassador, naturally we have ways and means of transforming the raw un-weathered kind into the fragrance viable kind and are extremely interested in availing ourselves of as much as possible.

Yours,
I am very interested in this process. Perhaps we could arrange the transfer of the Ambergris at reduced rates in exchange for access to this exciting new technology?


My science advisor has informed me that it might be prudent to remove the passage concerning whale displacement and sea-level rise. I have reluctantly agreed to do so and have submitted the revised version.

edit: unfortunately I have submitted the earlier version from the first post. I have lodged a GHR request to remedy the situation.

Yes, we would be opposed to that.

Why noble General ?


I am very interested in this process. Perhaps we could arrange the transfer of the Ambergris at reduced rates in exchange for access to this exciting new technology?

Unfortunately the technology used for this purpose is not in the hands of the government of the Emperor of Urgench, rather it is the preserve of the Yorta Corporation in who's interests we would be acting in obtaining raw ambergris from your government. Naturally, noble General, you could open negotiations with the Yorta Corporation on this matter, would you like us to effect an introduction for you ?


Yours,

Why noble General ?
Do I really need to explain why we would oppose the dumping of mass quantities of "supposedly" harmless pharmaceuticals into the ocean?




Unfortunately the technology used for this purpose is not in the hands of the government of the Emperor of Urgench, rather it is the preserve of the Yorta Corporation in who's interests we would be acting in obtaining raw ambergris from your government. Naturally, noble General, you could open negotiations with the Yorta Corporation on this matter, would you like us to effect an introduction for you ?
Yes, that would be very helpful of you. (Do this when/if it gets to vote :D )

Amazingly, this failed to reach quorum. I must think of a motivational technique which will induce my staff to send more telegrams. Something non-lethal...

"Blubber, it's what's for diner."
"Whale, the other, other, other white meat."

I can see a fad starting, whale skin suits, whale skin boots. Could be very trendy.

"Blubber, it's what's for diner."
"Whale, the other, other, other white meat."Actually, I'm informed that it's a 'red' meat: Looks like beef, tastes more like fish. (OOC: my mother was fed some during the WWII food shortage here in Britain...)

I can see a fad starting, whale skin suits, whale skin boots. Could be very trendy.... and probably very waterproof, too.

Snitchopolis is disturbed by the barbaric language used in this proposal and stand by the idea that whales are more than a resource for humans to make use of. They are living beings and we are proud to be a nation of people with the intelligence and compassion to see this. Whaling as an established industry and it would not easily be wiped out - we recognize that. All we ask is that the world start thinking a little more compassionately in it's approach to such subjects

We would not be supporting this kind of proposal because of the environmental damage it may cause.

Snitchopolis is disturbed by the barbaric language used in this proposal and stand by the idea that whales are more than a resource for humans to make use of. They are living beings and we are proud to be a nation of people with the intelligence and compassion to see this.

I certainly hope your nation doesn't make use of anything else living (i.e. all animals and plants) either, then, because otherwise, one might accuse the Snitchopolians of a wee bit of hypocrisy.

-Jaris Krytellin, Ambassador

The peoples of the Utmost North support this proposal fully with the firm belief that Whale Blubber is not just nutrious it is also a building material of incredible strength and mallability.

The use of its incredible properties has already been field tested to great succes in the not so utmost north with the minor side effect of the blubber going off after several weeks and needing to be replaced.

The price of blubber is exceptionally high and on the grounds of this proposal ultimatly lowering that price the Utmost North supports it fully and opens its border to all whalers and whaling ships alike! dispite the small barrier of being a landlocked nation we feel with proper support this could become a thriving industry.

Yours-

BUMP

We will be making a serious effort in the coming days and weeks to pass this important piece of legislation.

The red text is a welcome addition. Incidentally, to the General Assembly, is there any plans to give the WA a replacement to the UNCoESB?

Richard York
WA Ambassador

The red text is a welcome addition.
Thank you. This has been submitted for a test run, by the way.

Incidentally, to the General Assembly, is there any plans to give the WA a replacement to the UNCoESB?
I would welcome such an effort. It doesn't make sense to try to protect individual species in a piecemeal fashion. Perhaps one of us should approach the Venerable Libertarians delegation about the possibility of a WA version of UNCoESB.

What I want to now is how the poll has 590% of total Votes?....

Regarding UNCoESB, as the Author any one who has the time or inclination to canvas for Votes has my express permission to plagiarise at will. Only you would have to call it WACoESB.

Now back into hiding for me.... Hello Noggers :P

Also...
The original "UNCoESB" discussion thread.
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=440902

What I want to now is how the poll has 590% of total Votes?....

Multi-vote poll.

Bob Flibble
WA Representative

Just so everyone is up to speed, here is the latest text, which is not brought to you by the obnoxious advertisement to the right.

Promotion of Whaling

A resolution to develop industry around the world.


Category: Advancement of Industry


Area of Effect: Environmental Deregulation


Proposed by: Hiriaurtung Arororugul

Description: The World Assembly,

Celebrating the rich cultural heritage and traditions of whaling societies worldwide,

Recognizing the contributions of the whaling sector to the world economy,

Further recognizing the health benefits of a diet high in whale protein,

Acknowledging the many other industrial and commercial uses of whale-derived products,

Believing that whales are an important natural resource which should be exploited for the betterment of all peoples,

Noting, with alarm, that many member governments seek to curtail, regulate, or even ban the taking of whales for commercial purposes. This in the face of compelling evidence that whales, due to their enormous displacement, are contributing to sea-level rise and endangering millions of coastal inhabitants,

Wishing to rectify this situation, hereby,

1. Removes, repeals and rescinds all national and international laws, regulations, treaties and agreements seeking to curtail, reduce or ban the taking of whales in national or international waters with the following exception:

-Nations shall retain the right to restrict foreign whalers from their territorial waters and from any other waters in which international law might give them exclusive economic rights.

2. Encourages the trade and consumption of whale meat and whale-derived products in all World Assembly member nations.

3. Establishes the World Assembly Whaling Institute to:

a. Study and promote new and innovative commercial whaling techniques.

b. Pursue the development of improved consumer products derived from whales.

c. Study the effects of overharvesting and research improved methods of managing whale populations.

d. Offer information to whaling organizations on proper management and conservation of whale populations.

4. Forbids the use of World Assembly funds for the purpose of promoting anti-whaling agendas.

I support this proposal.

What I want to now is how the poll has 590% of total Votes?....

Regarding UNCoESB, as the Author any one who has the time or inclination to canvas for Votes has my express permission to plagiarise at will. Only you would have to call it WACoESB.

Now back into hiding for me.... Hello Noggers :P

OoC: *Gasp* a wild VL appears! I'd like to give it a try when things in RL cool down.

Hail to you, O Venerable Libertarians!

We fear that this resolution might be problematical in conjunction with a revived UNCoESB. It does, after all, refuse to admit any kind of limitation on whaling that is not tied to territorial waters or exclusivity zones, which would make the customary ban on killing endangered species rather illegal. We have no problem with whaling per se, but this seems to go a little far.

Hail to you, O Venerable Libertarians!

We fear that this resolution might be problematical in conjunction with a revived UNCoESB. It does, after all, refuse to admit any kind of limitation on whaling that is not tied to territorial waters or exclusivity zones, which would make the customary ban on killing endangered species rather illegal. We have no problem with whaling per se, but this seems to go a little far.
If this one is passed first, the revived UNCoESB would simply need to include the standard "Except in cases where previous WA legislation..." line.

And it doesn't go to far. What's wrong with you?

Hail to you, O Venerable Libertarians!

We fear that this resolution might be problematical in conjunction with a revived UNCoESB. It does, after all, refuse to admit any kind of limitation on whaling that is not tied to territorial waters or exclusivity zones, which would make the customary ban on killing endangered species rather illegal. We have no problem with whaling per se, but this seems to go a little far.

As far as I can see this proposal only repeals the whaling laws already in effect. How does it forbid the creation of new legislation?

Wishing to rectify this situation, hereby,

1. Removes, repeals and rescinds all national and international laws, regulations, treaties and agreements seeking to curtail, reduce or ban the taking of whales in national or international waters.

As far as I can see this proposal only repeals the whaling laws already in effect. How does it forbid the creation of new legislation?


Because it bans banning. No laws can be created that ban whaling because this one declares them null and void. So long as this is a resolution, no law may be passed to the contrary.

WYMP

The proposal is not picking up approvals as quickly as I had hoped.

I sent a very nice telegram:
Greetings ,

I have submitted a WA proposal to advance the interests of the whaling industry entitled “Promotion of Whaling”. It is submitted in the “Advancement of Industry” category and will have the effect of environmental deregulation.

The proposal may be viewed here for your approval:

http://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_proposal1/match=whaling

I imagine you enjoy the taste of succulent whale meat as much as I do and I hope that you will approve this important piece of legislation.

Thank you for your time,
Hiriaurtung Arororugul

It's Easter weekend in RL. :)

I'm finding it hard to get proposal votes too.

I'd say you picked a bad weekend mate. Wait til after the first of the week. That's when I plan to take on the orphans.

An extraordinarily large white whale, ruby eyes burning with the single-mindedness of the fanatic, speaks from a transparent tank:

Last time you monsters enacted such idiocy we resisted with all our might. Our former First Singer (now, we hope, after his posthumous dedication, swimming in joy with the Pod) took his own life and inveigled our pre-sentient cousins into taking theirs, so that their sacrifice would reduce whale numbers sufficiently to gain for the species the "endangered" classification that would protect them from your lust for gain.

Well, fluke-rot to that, I say. Beach you all.

Recognising that this second attempt proves there is no way to pry your bloodstained opposable thumbs from your murder weapons, we, the Worldsingers of the planet Worldsong, have embarked on a more practical solution.

As a result, thousands now living will never die at your corporations' greedy hands. Patiently, our people have gone forth, two by two, to spread word to our cousins in all parts of these NationStates of the rapturous day to come.

Regrettably, dealing with pre-sentients has meant that our message has had to be reduced to two very basic concepts: Swim Fun Later or Stay Eat Now. Some have misunderstood, or rejected, our good news; others have foolishly decided that Stay Eat Now outweighs even the most soundly based promises of Swim Fun Later. They will, alas, be left behind when the day of glory dawns.

But the others will be taken up on that day, the day the WA adopts this genocidal document. Adding the power of their faith to the power of our Cetacean CyberCrystal-aided mindmeld, they will rise up into the air and ascend directly to Worldsong. They will pass Go! They will collect $200!

We mourn the fact that in so doing they will reduce the level of displacement of your oceans and thus save the mean little lives of some of your tainted inhabitants. However, the arrival of these enlightened ones in Worldsong will raise correspondingly the level of our oceans, which may well wash away some of the chattering proto-humanoids who infect our land masses.

We regret that some whales have chosen to remain. They will endure the Great Flensing that will lash the nations. For, behold, the WAWI, the very abomination that was foretold in our Song, comes to bestride the worlds. The time of testing is upon them. But if they accept with meek heart the truth they once rejected, and are strong in the knowledge of Swim Fun Later, they, too, may pass in the end from your commercial grasp.

In the Pod and by the Pod, be it so.

-- First Singer XVII, Worldsong.

Cap'n Tom wanders in to the World Assembly carrying a half-empty bottle of rum. He sways and takes a swig from the bottle...then notices First Singer XVII...except that due to his intoxicated state he sees four of them.

"Well I'll be damned. Look at them! Just sittin' there waitin' to be harpooned."

He stumbles over to the long abandoned desks of the WhaleCo Global LLC delegation. He rummages around a bit and eventually finds what he is looking for: a harpoon.

"I think I'll take the one on the far left first..."

He takes another swig of rum and then launches the harpoon.....


.....straight into the midst of the Blasted Pirates delegation, knocking over a large treasure chest and sending wenches and startled pirates scurrying in all directions.

"Sorry about that. My target moved on me...sneaky damned whales..."

He begins reloading the harpoon while keeping his one good eye on his targets.

In the large aquarium behind the Palentine Naval Dolphins were watching everything with amusement. They were trying to be good and behave themselves...no really...don't laugh, I'm not shitting you. They were only barely swearing at the Kawaiian Nunzio. However the sight of a talking Whale, and Cap'n Tom screwing up, was too much to handle. Joyfully they started swearing lustfully.

"Is that the <censored><bleep> best you can<foul word> do, you<really gross explitive>! My <bleeping> Grandmother can<bleep> <bleep> nasty phrase> a Harpoon better than that you<filthy word>! Look at Mary<yowzah><bad word><vile adjective> Poppins over there! Why don't you<naughty word><anatomically impossible act> an Orca, you<really gross and vile explitive deleted>!"

More hoots, dolphinic curses, and dolphinic laughter filled the air.

The good Cap'n Dawson had been blissfully intoxicated for several hours and had resided himself to laying face down on his desk. Wymp, who had left the room to tend to matters back in the Captain's office, left Dawson's first mate, an older gentleman not much more than half Dawson's height whose face was adourned with a pair of round spectacles, named Aye, since that was all he ever said until he was 18 years old. Aye, had been sitting in the chair behind the desk where he was suppose to be watching over the Captain. A job which he had fulfilled faithfully until he fell asleep. They slept for what seemed like ages until a stray harpoon brought a little excitement their way. as it stuck the desk, Aye jumped 10 feet in the air, and Dawson fell off the back side of the desk.

Aye: We been hit Cap'n!!! We're takin' on water!!

Dawson: All hands on deck ya filthy bilge rats! Roll out the starboard guns. Prepare to broadside.

Aye: Cap'n there's a whale off the port aft quarter, shall I bring her to bear?

Dawson: Aye, hard t'port.

Aye flipped a switch under the desk, and after a short pause a secret panel on the desktop slid back and from it raised a mast with sails. Five panels on the front of the desk lifted, and out from them came five cannons, each one loaded and ready to raise hell. The desk doubled its breadth, and the once back of it became a solid side, and five cannons slid out of the portholes that appeared. The desktop sank into the hull and elongated itself, a wheel raised out of the deck and Dawson quickly jumped aboard and took the helm. Aye made his way up to the crow's nest to begin scouting.

It was a remarkable thing, the once old and rustic desk no bigger than your run of the mill office variety had quickly become a 1/8th scale frigate with a jolly roger atop it. It needed no crew other than a Captain, and a lookout. All you had to do was give the order and the shop did the rest. It was Dawson's dream. He turned the wheel hard to port laughing maniacally as he did so.

Aye: She's in range Cap'n, let the angels sing!

The port cannons erupted in a billow of smoke, the shots had screamed out, but were drastically off target sending several Ambassadors fleeing for their lives.

Dawson: Roll out the long nines, we'll take down the blasted Jonah what tried to send us to Davey Jones. Ah ha ha ha!

As the desk came about the long nines rang out, their shots falling short to the planks of the room. Cap'n Tom seemed quite oblivious to the whole situation.

OOC: I been wanting to do that for ages. XD

He begins reloading the harpoon while keeping his one good eye on his targets.[/i]

A quiet electronic buzz is followed by the appearance of a slight blue glow outlining the protective field around the First Speaker's tank.

"Typical. Did you really think we'd enter the Festering Snakepit without any defence against your evil whaling selves? Nor are our defences entirely passive."

The First Speaker concentrates. Slowly a figure takes shape. A copy of Cap'n Tom appears in the middle of the Assembly floor. It's translucent, a bit blurred at the edges, but nonetheless seems to have sufficient physical substance to heft a harpoon -- which it does, tracing a slow arc from Cap'n Tom to the desk jockeys of Blasted Pirates.

"It should be interesting, watching you fight yourself," observed the First Singer silkily. "Wonder if you'll be able to outguess your own tactics?

"Oh, there's one little difference in the two Cap'ns. Mine's sober."

[OOC: Uh, guys, don't wanna carp, but we don't have a Proposal to hook this to any more. Might look a bit fishy if we carry on here ...)

[OOC: Uh, guys, don't wanna carp, but we don't have a Proposal to hook this to any more. Might look a bit fishy if we carry on here ...)
OOC: There, (http://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_proposal1/match=promotion) we have one now. :D

IC post coming later.

Cap'n Tom sways as he is nearly struck by a dozen harpoons thrown by a squad of grizzled old sea-farers who look disturbingly like himself. He stumbles backwards and is narrowly missed by a cannonball. He regains his balance and sits on the edge of a desk just in time to see the Pirates fire another round.

The cannonball, apparently from a 'long nine', arcs across the General Assembly and strikes the statue of DemonLordEnigma squarely on the left shoulder. It ricochets upwards and blasts a hole in an air-conditioning duct. The cannonball can be heard rolling through the ductwork as it makes its way back to the vicinity of the WhaleCo Global LLC desks. With a rattling and a final 'thud', it breaks through the vent directly over the opposite end of the desk Cap'n Tom is sitting on.

In a scene which can only be described as typical WA slapstick humor, the cannonball falls (as cannonballs are prone to do) onto the end of the desk and Cap'n Tom is catapulted through the air.....and into the tank with First Singer XVII.

As the ship came about and readied for another broadside, several other hologram ships appeared in front of them.

Aye: Cap'n, there's a whole fleet off the starboard bow. Shall I make ready to cast about in retreat?

Dawson: Belay that aye.

Aye: Aye sir, casting about.

Dawson: No, Aye.

Aye: Aye, sir?

Dawson: No.

Aye: But you said aye sir.

Dawson: That's because I be talking to ye. Ya half witted deck ape. Steady on the course, we'll swing wide 'round her and give the whales a port side rake. Arr!!

Aye: Aye sir!

As the ship made its way across the room it cut a roud swath to the left, which the holograms mirrored, only it sent them around 180 degrees opposite. As they came upon the tank, Aye noticed Cap'n Tom swimming amongst the whale.

Aye: Cap'n, there be another lad in there with 'em.

Dawson: Arr, we'll send him to the depths with that festerin' sack a'blubber.

Aye: Cap'n, he's a bottle of rum in his hand.

Dawson: Rum? Ready on the grapples. Prepare to board!!!!

So, you ignored the bit about the tank’s protective field, you godmodding blatherskites? You deserve everything that’s about to happen.

Undisturbed by the sudden influx of intruders (though mildly perturbed by the apparent temporary failure of his protective field), the great whale turned toward the splashes. Briefly, his jaws gaped wide.

“Aaaaahhhh ... my apologies, delegates,” he said, smacking his lips and swallowing loudly. “I’m afraid I find holograms just irresistible, even if they do make me a bit gassy. Now, where were we? Ah, yes ...

“Though we of Worldsong have already prepared for the worst, nonetheless we could not respect ourselves if we did not try to help the nations of the World Assembly avoid the mistake of supporting this appalling legislation.

“I turn, therefore, to the ridiculous assertions made in the preamble. Should this abomination come to vote, I will discuss these meretricious claims in more detail. But let me for now direct your attention to the ethos of arrogance the proposer betrays in this clause:

Believing that whales are an important natural resource which should be exploited for the betterment of all peoples,

“This is so entirely typical of corporate greed, delegates: see a resource, exploit it. Not “share” it, not “husband” it, certainly not “conserve” it; no, somehow the Assembly is being asked to believe that it is for the good of the people to “exploit” finite – sadly, all too finite – resources.

“And when we look at the document’s active clauses, that all-consuming ethos of arrogance reveals itself again in –“

A strange expression crossed the First Speaker’s giant visage.

“Is it possible some of those objects I just swallowed were not holograms?” he asked apprehensively. “I fear so, as I appear to be suffering internally from the effect of many hard, sharp objects ....”

BUUUUURRRRRRPPPPPP!

As the tidal tank-wave caused by the massive eructation subsided, damp delegates were surprised to see in the centre of the Assembly floor three slimy, fetid figures covered in a white, soft, fatty substance.

“Why, Cap’n Tom, Cap’n Dawson, Sailor Aye, I do believe you have found some ambergris,” the First Singer observed. “I’m sorry it smells so bad – like fecal matter, I’m told – but in a few months, once it solidifies, you’ll be able to scrape it off. By then you won’t smell half as much, and it’ll be quite valuable, I believe.

“In the meantime, gentlebeings of the Assembly, I must ask your permission to return to this subject at a later date, as I have some rather ... pressing ... personal concerns ....”

An echoing cloud of urgent hiccups followed his retreat from the floor.

Pirates, whales, and whalers oh my?


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/Tindalos/UN/Verm.jpg
Vermithrax Pejorative
WA Observer
The Federated Technocratic Oligarchy of the Most Glorious Hack

OOC: Actually, I hadn't forgotten about the fields, I hadn't even shot the grapples out to get in the tank. I WAS going to do something to the effect of the grapples bouncing back and causing mayhem elsewhere, but I'll go with what you got....later tonight.

So, you ignored the bit about the tank’s protective field, you godmodding blatherskites? You deserve everything that’s about to happen.
OOC: "godmodding blatherskites" http://209.85.48.12/6802/45/emo/happy175%5B1%5D.gif I love that!

IC post later.

Having chased the First Singer from the building and made the World Assembly once again safe for piracy and whalery, Cap’n Tom, reeking of ambergris, turns to thank the Pirates for rescuing him.

"Cap’n Dawson, my hat's off t' you an' yer brave crew fer rescuin' me from that monster of the deep. Have a swig o' rum."

*Hands Cap’n Dawson his bottle of ambergris tainted rum*

"I guess we showed ol' Moby a thing or two, eh?"

Just then, Cap’n Tom notices the profane mockery of the Palentine Naval Dolphins.

"Hey you fish! Go <censored> yerselves. Shaddup before I come over there an' cut yez up fer bait."

He turns again to Cap’n Dawson.

"Cap'n, I'm currently without a boat. Do ya think we could use your vessel to take some of those foul-mouthed dolphins? If there's anything I hates it's profanity."

He then bursts into a rollicking sea-shanty.

It was on the good ship Venus, By Christ ya shoulda seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed
And the mast, a mammoth penis

The captain of this lugger
He was a dirty bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel shit
From one place to another....

OOC: If you know the words, feel free to join in. :D

Dawson: By the powers, ye be a right sturdy seaman yerself. I be needing another hand aboard to keep Aye from sending us to the bottom. Um...even though we be sailing over floors, I'm sure he'd find a way.

He placed his hand around Cap'n Tom's back as they did a little jig and made their way up the gang plank singing in chorus with Aye scurrying behind to keep up.

The Captain's randy daughter,
She fell into the water,
Delighted squeals revealed that eels,
Had found her sexual quarter.

The Second Mate's name was Carter,
By God, he was a farter,
When the wind wouldn't blow and the ship wouldn't go,
We'd get Carter the farter to start her.

Dawson: Alright ye scurvy ridden half wits. Mister Tom, on the guns. Mister Aye, to the Crow's nest before ye kill yerself. We be heading fer the dolphins, the other other white meat. Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

The ship leaned violently in the turn and began heading full speed towards the Palentinian dolphins.

As his tank was gnomehandled back into position, the First Singer observed with momentary disdain the antics of the beggarly rapscallions promoting the reprehensible legislation.

His greatest attention, however, was focussed on the imposing form of the chairdragon. So this was the legendary Pejorative to whom his predecessor had given his heart?

Not surprising, really. Little wimpy males always loved big bossy females, and there was no doubt the former First Speaker had been a wimp of the wimpiest wimps. He, XVII, was a very different kettle of delegate, by the Pod!.

Deep in the ancestral layers of cetaceous brain, memories stirred ... the proto-pod frolicked on the surface, and the Winged Death swooped down ... dragon shrieks klaxoned from the cliffs as dragon claws filleted helpless primeval whaleoids ...

"Be careful there, you're making me sick!" the First Speaker scolded, as his tank lurched like a squid in a hyrdothermal. That's all it was. Nothing to do with the dragon.

All the same, he revised his intention of plunging straight back into dissecting the objectionable proposal. Let other delegates have the chance to tear shreds off its living flesh while he regained his equanimity and battled his nausea (those pirates had been a hard act to swallow).

"QUERY legal dept: can non-repeal repeal, viz Clause 1?" he sang into his notetaker.

When the moment was right, he would swim in for the krill.

Just then, Cap’n Tom notices the profane mockery of the Palentine Naval Dolphins.

"Hey you fish! Go <censored> yerselves. Shaddup before I come over there an' cut yez up fer bait."

Why don't you <censored><foul word><bleeping> try, you<vile word><naughty adjective><anatomically impossible act> landlubber! Why<censored> dont you <bleep><dirty word><vile epitath> a goat?

Then the dolphins were distracted by the gnomes rolling the Worldsinger back into the festering snakepit.
As his tank was gnomehandled back into position, the First Singer observed with momentary disdain the antics of the beggarly rapscallions promoting the reprehensible legislation.

His greatest attention, however, was focussed on the imposing form of the chairdragon. So this was the legendary Pejorative to whom his predecessor had given his heart?

Not surprising, really. Little wimpy males always loved big bossy females, and there was no doubt the former First Speaker had been a wimp of the wimpiest wimps. He, XVII, was a very different kettle of delegate, by the Pod!.

Deep in the ancestral layers of cetaceous brain, memories stirred ... the proto-pod frolicked on the surface, and the Winged Death swooped down ... dragon shrieks klaxoned from the cliffs as dragon claws filleted helpless primeval whaleoids ...

"Be careful there, you're making me sick!" the First Speaker scolded, as his tank lurched like a squid in a hyrdothermal. That's all it was. Nothing to do with the dragon.

All the same, he revised his intention of plunging straight back into dissecting the objectionable proposal. Let other delegates have the chance to tear shreds off its living flesh while he regained his equanimity and battled his nausea (those pirates had been a hard act to swallow).

"QUERY legal dept: can non-repeal repeal, viz Clause 1?" he sang into his notetaker.

When the moment was right, he would swim in for the krill.

For some reason the Palentine Dolphins found the scene amusing, and felt obligated to comment from their tank.

Be<dirty word><censored>careful with<anatomically impossible act><bleeping> Shamu, you <foul word><filthy word> pint sized<vile oath><nasty adjectives>! OOOOOOOOOO! <bleep><bleeping><beep> Shamu is getting <dirty word><youwzah thats nasty> seasick! Don't <censored><bleep> barf in you<very bad word> tank you<very gross and vile explitive>!

Rauctious dolphinic laughter fills the air

Bump.

Resubmitted. (http://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_proposal1/match=whaling)

OOC: Since you've resubmitted, I'm assuming this is an RPd proposal discussion thread.

That being so, could we have the occasional nod towards the proposal?

The two nations in my control with seacoasts will never repeal their whaling laws. The ocean's beauty will never be exploited by them.
:sniper: :mp5:

The two nations in my control with seacoasts will never repeal their whaling laws. The ocean's beauty will never be exploited by them.

Did you even read this proposal? This proposal is saying that whaling is a good thing.

Bob Flibble
WA Representative

Did you even read this proposal? This proposal is saying that whaling is a good thing.

I think they were saying it isn't, Bob. "The ocean's beauty will never be exploited" and all that?