Cobdenia
20-12-2008, 17:53
The World Assembly,
SERIOUSLY ANNOYED by the fact that I have once again bought the wrong type of batteries at the little chemist down the road,
ADAMENT that I really wouldn't mind if my MP3 player was half an inch bigger, allowing it to take AA batteries as opposed to AAA batteries
DECLARES AAA batteries the spawn of the devil. Also screw fit light bulbs
SERIOUSLY, what the hell is the point of screw fit light bulbs?
DECLARES screw fit light bulbs gay. Bayonet fixings not good enough for you, eh? Wankers
ALSO, why do I have a drawer full of bloody adaptors? How many conceivable ways are there of sticking a bloody plug into a fucking wall? I mean, look at this one! How the hell are you supposed to know which way in to put it? And what's more there's no ruddy earth pin! It's dangerous if you ask me
DECLARES foreigners as cretins, and hopes they electrocute themselves on a Corby trouser press due it's lack of earthing
HARRUMPHING deeply
The WA, hereby
INSTITUTES three types of disposable batteries. A little round one for watches, AA for other things, and those square 9V whatsits for things that need 9 volts. None of those little AAA things, or those stupid big ones. Anyone making any equipment not using these sizes must make the batteries rechargeable without the need for removing them and stucking them in one of those stupid special plugs things, or face execution by being force fed double edged razor blades.
FORCES light bulbs to have bayonet fittings, and only one size. About this big at the bottom should do. That includes you, Ikea. Also, whilst we're at it, Ikea will be forced to make beds in the same sizes as other bloody beds, so you don't have to buy the sheets, duvet, duvet covers and all that malarky from there as well. That's right, I'm onto you, you Swedish bastards. Failure of Ikea to comply will result in the conviscation of all their Dime bars from the checkouts, which is the only reason we really go there instead of MFI anyway
FORCES you bloody foreigners to accept a sensible design for you plugs. One at the top, which is called an earth - I know electonic safety is not your strong suit, but you'll soon grow used to it - and then you have two at the bottom, left one live, right neutral. Having it like this means you can't plug it in upside down and short out half of your already poorly lit city and it's dog poo covered pavements.
Anyone found taking this resolution seriously will be sent to Ikea to buy me Dime bars
SERIOUSLY ANNOYED by the fact that I have once again bought the wrong type of batteries at the little chemist down the road,
ADAMENT that I really wouldn't mind if my MP3 player was half an inch bigger, allowing it to take AA batteries as opposed to AAA batteries
DECLARES AAA batteries the spawn of the devil. Also screw fit light bulbs
SERIOUSLY, what the hell is the point of screw fit light bulbs?
DECLARES screw fit light bulbs gay. Bayonet fixings not good enough for you, eh? Wankers
ALSO, why do I have a drawer full of bloody adaptors? How many conceivable ways are there of sticking a bloody plug into a fucking wall? I mean, look at this one! How the hell are you supposed to know which way in to put it? And what's more there's no ruddy earth pin! It's dangerous if you ask me
DECLARES foreigners as cretins, and hopes they electrocute themselves on a Corby trouser press due it's lack of earthing
HARRUMPHING deeply
The WA, hereby
INSTITUTES three types of disposable batteries. A little round one for watches, AA for other things, and those square 9V whatsits for things that need 9 volts. None of those little AAA things, or those stupid big ones. Anyone making any equipment not using these sizes must make the batteries rechargeable without the need for removing them and stucking them in one of those stupid special plugs things, or face execution by being force fed double edged razor blades.
FORCES light bulbs to have bayonet fittings, and only one size. About this big at the bottom should do. That includes you, Ikea. Also, whilst we're at it, Ikea will be forced to make beds in the same sizes as other bloody beds, so you don't have to buy the sheets, duvet, duvet covers and all that malarky from there as well. That's right, I'm onto you, you Swedish bastards. Failure of Ikea to comply will result in the conviscation of all their Dime bars from the checkouts, which is the only reason we really go there instead of MFI anyway
FORCES you bloody foreigners to accept a sensible design for you plugs. One at the top, which is called an earth - I know electonic safety is not your strong suit, but you'll soon grow used to it - and then you have two at the bottom, left one live, right neutral. Having it like this means you can't plug it in upside down and short out half of your already poorly lit city and it's dog poo covered pavements.
Anyone found taking this resolution seriously will be sent to Ikea to buy me Dime bars