NationStates Jolt Archive

i do not know how to spell catgry but i think it would go in Human Rights.
Strenth-Mild

Help Homeless Children
Regoniseing That In some nations a lot of the children live rough on the streets and if they do this prosposal requires the goverment to supply them with some sort of shelter but it mst be decent and the tax payers must pay for the child,s food and they also must pay for a person to care for the child. the goverment must pay for the house,the goverment also must pay for the water and elctric.if a person does not pay for the things stated above they will ethier get a fine or recvive a short jail sentance if one is not allowed in a nation the person will recvive the one that is allowed auotmaticlly but if both are allowed in a nation,the goverment will decide wicth one the person will get

note:this is my first go at wiriting a WA propasl so please do NOT luagh

Homelessness is a very serious issue and it should be addressed. Some parts are not quite as good but the practice of finding children shelter is pivotal.

Homelessness is a very serious issue and it should be addressed. Some parts are not quite as good but the practice of finding children shelter is pivotal.

wicth parts do you like?

and wicth region are you in?

i do not know how to spell catgry but i think it would go in Human Rights.
Social Justice, surely?

Strenth-Mild
Given the shopping list, it's at least Significant. Consider how much you are requiring governments to spend.

Help Homeless Children
Regoniseing That In some nations a lot of the children live rough on the streets and if they do this prosposal requires the goverment to supply them with some sort of shelter but it mst be decent and the tax payers must pay for the child,s food and they also must pay for a person to care for the child. the goverment must pay for the house,the goverment also must pay for the water and elctric.if a person does not pay for the things stated above
WOAH! Where did this "person" come from? So far you've been talking in terms of the government paying for everything, so what individual could you possibly be talking about here?

I've got one major suggestion for writing any proposal (apart from "use a spellchecker", which should go without saying); short sentences are your friend. Whenever you see the word "and" or "but", you should wonder whether you're actually stapling two separate sentences together. If you are, don't. :-)

To take your first sentence as an example, it's actually a massive run-on of several separate sentences. Splitting them apart, this is what we get:

First we recognise that there are homeless kids out there. After that, we tell governments to house them. Then we tell governments to feed them. Then we tell governments to supply them with carers.

Can you see how that's easier to read than the version that asked for this and that and the other...? A lot of people will have stopped reading before the end of your first sentence just because it keeps going without letting up.

In this case, there's an even better way of doing it, and that's to turn those sentences into bite-sized bullet points.

Recognising that there are children sleeping rough on the streets, the World Assembly requires that member nations provide such homeless children with:

decent housing, including lighting, heating and power;
food and drink appropriate for their needs;
carers appropriate to their needs
(and so on)

free of charge to the child.

I'm not saying that the proposal is ready for prime-time, mind you, just that this is a clearer way of putting it that might get you more approvals.

--
Cerys Coch, Permanent Undersecretary

i agree with your suggestion

wicth parts do you like?

and wicth region are you in?

We LOVE your idea. Located in Funen, among our aims is to obliterate homelessness outright. The category should be Social Justice because welfare of children will increase. The strength will be significant because without child homelessness there will be better taught and healthier.

Clearly homelessness brings a tear to my eyes. I mean I can get the whole delegacy to help you out if the result is a classic resolution.

Child and Children are the key-words of this resolution.

Child and Children are the key-words of this resolution.Here they are born into a family and it is the duty of that family to see that the children they produce do not become burdens on our society... Since the base of our government is the family then they are one and the same so we take care of our children as a family should. We however do not support welfare systems to support failures in other nations to do what is needed for the sake of their children. If we can take care of our own in this area then other nations need learn to do it and not burden up with their failures.

Children are required to meet certain standards and become productive citizens of our families and contribute not burden them. Those that refuse to follow rules of order here end up criminals and are removed from society to protect the society from them. Those that once in prison refuse to follow the rules their will not suvive long. As you okay them or you don't get even your basic needs, since you refuse to work for them and earn them.

Before you mention those without the ability to work.... everyone can contribute to society and not be a burden on it... those who refuse to do their part whatever it might be become burdens and soon criminals....

You might find it helpful to look at, though obviously not copy verbatim, the UN's old Protection of Orphans Act (http://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_past_resolutions/start=236), which was born out of a proposal on homeless children.

-- Samantha Benson