NationStates Jolt Archive

A sixtyish man wearing a tan western suit and a cowboy hat ambles up to the microphone. He is carrying a briefcase which he takes some papers from, then sets aside. He then addresses the General Assembly.

"Friends, I'd like to have a word with ya' about oil tankers. My name is Bud Bloom and I'm the Vee Pee (that's vice-president) for UN Relations at TransGlobal Petroleum. Actually my name ain't Bud, it's Harvell, but nobody calls me that. You can call me Bud."

"Anyway, let's talk about oil tankers. Before I became Vee Pee fer UN Relations I was Chief of Tanker Operations at TransGlobal. I know a little bit about the tanker business. When I took this post, one of the first things I set about doin' was studyin' all the various UN Resolutions and what impact they might have on the global petroleum business. Wellsir, it didn't take long for me to come upon Resolution 11, "Ban Single-Hulled Tankers".

Ban Single-Hulled Tankers

A resolution to increase the quality of the world's environment, at the expense of industry.


Category: Environmental


Industry Affected: All Businesses


Proposed by: The imperial senators

Description: Ban Single-Hulled Tankers!

Leaky single-hulled tanker ships can cause enormous environmental damage and cost millions of dollars to clean up. Millions of barrels of crude oil are lost to the oil-hungry nations of the world. We must unite to ban single-hulled tankers and endorse the use of double-hulled tankers. This would prevent environmental disasters like the one caused by the damaged tanker off the coast of Spain in 2002 and help lower the cost of fuel as more would be reliably available to every nation. It would also be a boon to fishing, tourism, and shipbuilding industries.

"I read it over a couple of times and figured out real quick that it don't ban single-hulled tankers."

We must unite to ban single-hulled tankers
"Now that sounds like a call to action, but it really ain't. In a legal sense that carries about as much weight as sayin' "we're gonna unite to ban single-hulled tankers". It's implyin' that some action should take place in the future, but it ain't really a mandate."

"Then there's this:"

and endorse the use of double-hulled tankers.
"So the UN "endorses" the use of double-hulled tankers, but it don't require it."

"Now this resolutions says a lot of good things. A lot of things that are true."

Leaky single-hulled tanker ships can cause enormous environmental damage and cost millions of dollars to clean up.

"That's right. Single-hulled tankers are more vulnerable to hull breach and that can lead to millions of gallons of precious crude oil bein' spilled into the ocean. And let me tell ya', those big oil spills are a booger to clean up."

Millions of barrels of crude oil are lost to the oil-hungry nations of the world.

"That's right and that's bad for the consumer."

This would prevent environmental disasters like the one caused by the damaged tanker off the coast of Spain in 2002 and help lower the cost of fuel as more would be reliably available to every nation.

"Yessir. Now I don't know where this "Spain" is that the author's goin' on about. I don't know if it's the real Spain here in NationStates or that made-up Spain on RL Land, but he's right about everything else. Oil spills damage the environment and they raise fuel prices. Everbody knows that an' agrees with it."

It would also be a boon to fishing, tourism, and shipbuilding industries.

"Yep. All that's true too."

"Now folks, this resolution says a lot of nice things and it's right about most of 'em, but it reads like a Junior High essay on why we should ban single-hull tankers. We at TransGlobal Petroleum are serious about protectin' the environment and we're also serious about protectin' our oil. Some of our competitors are not. They're still operatin' single-hulled tankers an' spillin' oil all over the place. This resolution don't stop 'em."

"When I take my grandkids down to the beach at Galveston, I don't want 'em playin' around in a bunch of oil or seein' dead gulls layin' all over the place. I want the beach to be clean and the oil to go to the refinery where it belongs. That's why we need to repeal this well intended, but ineffective resolution and replace it with one that actually regulates tanker construction."

"Here's my idea for a repeal. I scribbled it down on a napkin on the flight over here from Houston."

The General Assembly of the United Nations;

NOTING that United Nations Resolution #11 "Ban Single-Hulled Tankers" doesn't actually ban single-hulled tankers;

WISHING to rectify this situation;

HEREBY repeals United Nations Resolution #11 "Ban Single-Hulled Tankers".

"Well, whaddya think?"

Harvell "Bud" Bloom
Vice-President for UN Relations
TransGlobal Petroleum

I'm in favour of repealing it; I feel that it is made somewhat redundant by Maritime Safety Standards act. Plus I'm biased against any wet proposal I didn't write...

I'm in favour of repealing it; I feel that it is made somewhat redundant by Maritime Safety Standards act. Plus I'm biased against any wet proposal I didn't write...
Well I've read that an' it's a mighty fine resolution. Mighty fine indeed. It don't exactly touch on tanker construction though, just on how ships oughtta be operated.

About a possible replacement fer this, do any of you think it might be possible to slip somethin' about double-hulled tankers into a free trade resolution dealin with international transport? Sorta' kill two birds with one stone, improve ship construction an' improve international commerce? I was just thinkin' there might be a way to do this without our businesses takin' a hit.

Harvell "Bud" Bloom
Vice-President for UN Relations
TransGlobal Petroleum

Mr.Bloom,

We welcome an industrial leader, such as TransGlobal Petroleum, recognizing the environmental havoc that their industry can create.

Although we disagree somewhat as to the impotence of the resolution under discussion, we will concede that a more clearly stated ban on single-hulled tankers would be welcome, and we would offer at this time our provisional support for your repeal. The Environmental Council back home will have our hide for climbing into bed, so to speak, with a mega petro corporation.

However, we must emphatically insist that any replacement be a purely environmentally focused one so as not to muddy the waters of its support. We would strongly encourage you to separately push for a free trade proposal for the industry, should your company wish to do so (though wouldn't ships be considered durable goods?).

Leetha Talone
UN Ambassador, Rubina
Regional Delegate, User Friendlia

Well thank you Miss Talone for them kind words. Or is it Mrs or Ms? You never know how to address ladyfolk these days and I don't mean to cause any offense. Anyway, thank you very much indeed.

TransGlobal Petroleum tries to do everthing possible to reduce environmental impacts while transportin' our oil. We have a Department of Environmental Affairs that works tirelessly to ensure that we ain't making a mess with our tankers, refineries and pipelines. I wonder though if your govermint wouldn't be more experienced with writin' environmental legislation than we would be?

What say I take care of the repealin' and then we could work together on the replacin'? Maybe bring in some other govermints too, like them Cobdenian fellers? I'm thinkin' that the replacement oughta' cover ship construction in general too, not just tankers. Any large vessel has the potential to make a mess. An' what about them spacedy things I see flyin' around hereabouts? One a' them comin' apart on re-entry would be bad fer everone.

Harvell "Bud" Bloom
Vice-President for UN Relations
TransGlobal Petroleum

A collaboration sounds like an excellent idea, and the boaty Cobdenians would be a welcome addition. Repeal away.

As far as address is concerned, the Rubinan form of address is the same for all regardless of gender, though I find it discomfits many to use Mr. for woman. So Ms., Ambassador or just plain Leetha is fine.

--L.T.