NationStates Jolt Archive

Good day to all. This is a draft I made with the intent ot proposing it as a resolution. Give me some feedback please.

there is the text:

Premble
Considering that there is no international standard road signalization

CONSIDERING that signalization is essential for motorists and pedestrians

WHEREAS the lack of international standard for such issue is a barrier for travel and trade,
because of systems in use are different form one another

OBSERvING that such a disparity could lead to dangerous situations, such as mortal accidents,

US, the government of the Constitutional Monarchy of Megachouland urge the United Nations to
adopt the following:

Chapter one: defenitions

Art.1) Signalization: Any system or part of a system that is used to regulate traffic,
inform motorists and/or pedestrians. This includes traffic lights,
signs and other signaling devices

Art.2) Pedestrian: Any individual that displaces him/herself by walking, using the public
space while doing so. This includes people on wheelchairs

Art.3) Motorist: Person that uses a motorized vehicle to move him/herself.
This exclude motorized wheelchars and Segways

Art.4) Cyclist: Any person that uses a unicyle, bicycle, tricycle, tendem
or Segway to displace him/herself

Art.5) Vehicle: Any moving machine, motorized or not that is used to move people.
As this resolution focusses stricly on road signalization, the term "vehicle"
will designate any terrestrial vehicle

Chapter two: uniformization

Art.6) The signalization systems shall be uniform throughout the world

Art.7) The process of uniformization shall be supervized by a commission
(see chapter three)

Art.8) The signaling devices shall be taken form exsisting devices, in a sense that
if a device, sign or light is aknowledged by all members of the commission, it
therefore shall be the defenitive signal

Chapter three: the commission

Art.9) A commission shall be created to ensure that the process is well followed

Art.10) The name of the commission is the
United Nation Commission for Standardization of Signalization (UNCSS)

Art.11) Role: the UNCSS is responsible for selecting (or inventing) signalization, devices and other items related to this issue, adopting such and coercing members of the UN to implement them

Chapter four: application

Art.12) The present resolution is to be applied on as soon as possible.
The work of the UNCSS shall start on January 8,2008 and end on December 1st, 2008

Art.13) A commissioner, the Commissioner of the United Nations for Road Signalization
(CUNRS) will be responsible of all issues regadring signalization beyond December 1st, 2008

While I like what you're trying to do, I don't know that we really need this. Another thing that pops out at me is this.

Art.12) The present resolution is to be applied on as soon as possible.
The work of the UNCSS shall start on January 8,2008 and end on December 1st, 2008

We don't follow a traditional real world calender, it could be considered metagaming which is illegal.

OOC comment

Good day to all. This is a draft I made with the intent ot proposing it as a resolution. Give me some feedback please.
Okay.

Premble
Considering that there is no international standard road signalization
I think that you mean "Preamble", with an 'a'...
Why is 'Considering' in lower-case letters here, rather than upper-case ones like the first words of each of the following clauses?
Oh, and it's considered usual around here to end each preambulatory clause with a comma, except for the last of them which gets a semi-colon instead: That isn't actually laid down in the rules, but it's a quite widely accepted convention.

CONSIDERING that signalization is essential for motorists and pedestriansIf you have motorists, yes: If you only have pedestrians -- as some NSUN nations, having banned cars, do -- then maybe not? Still, I suppose that most nations probably have motorists, so you could probably get away with not changing this clause...

WHEREAS the lack of international standard for such issue is a barrier for travel and trade, because of systems in use are different form one another
I think that this clause might benefit from re-writing, to improve its grammar.
So you're going for the 'Free Trade' category? That makes sense to me, but I'm not sure whether the Mods are still happy about including 'international standardisation' proposals under that heading...

OBSERvING that such a disparity could lead to dangerous situations, such as mortal accidents,Why the lower-case 'v' in "OBSERvING"?
Again, I think that the wording & grammar could probably be improved, but that is a sound reason for trying to introduce a standard.

US, the government of the Constitutional Monarchy of Megachouland urge the United Nations to adopt the following:
You need to LOSE this clause, full stop. Including your nation's name (or just about any other names) in a proposal's text counts as 'Branding', which is illegal.
Don't worry, though, your name automatically gets added near the top of the text (after the title, a line of standard text that depends on which Category the proposal's been placed in, the Category and the Strength; before the preamble) when you submit a proposal.

I'd suggested replacing it with something along the general lines of _
"The United Nations hereby introduces the following measures,"

Chapter one: defenitions
Use the spell-check function: "Definitions".

Art.1) Signalization: Any system or part of a system that is used to regulate traffic, inform motorists and/or pedestrians. This includes traffic lights, signs and other signaling devices

Art.2) Pedestrian: Any individual that displaces him/herself by walking, using the public space while doing so. This includes people on wheelchairs

Art.3) Motorist: Person that uses a motorized vehicle to move him/herself.
This exclude motorized wheelchars and Segways

Art.4) Cyclist: Any person that uses a unicyle, bicycle, tricycle, tendem
or Segway to displace him/herself

Art.5) Vehicle: Any moving machine, motorized or not that is used to move people.
As this resolution focusses stricly on road signalization, the term "vehicle"
will designate any terrestrial vehicle

"Art"? 'Part'?
The wording & grammar could be improved, again, but I won't bother going into detailed suggestions about this until the legality of the basic concept has been officially confirmed.
'Segway' refers to a concept that exists in RL but has not been established as existing in NS too: This makes the reference (and thus the proposal) illegal. Remove it...
"tendem"? 'tandem'!
Oh, and it's customary to end each clause in the operative section of the proposal with some sort of punctuation too.

Chapter two: uniformization

Art.6) The signalization systems shall be uniform throughout the world

Art.7) The process of uniformization shall be supervized by a commission
(see chapter three)

Art.8) The signaling devices shall be taken form exsisting devices, in a sense that if a device, sign or light is aknowledged by all members of the commission, it therefore shall be the defenitive signal
Perhaps 'Standardisation', for conformity with the earlier clauses, rather than
'Uniformization'?
Spell-check!

Chapter three: the commission

Art.9) A commission shall be created to ensure that the process is well followed

Art.10) The name of the commission is the
United Nation Commission for Standardization of Signalization (UNCSS)
I think that you could reasonably combine these two clauses.

Art.11) Role: the UNCSS is responsible for selecting (or inventing) signalization, devices and other items related to this issue, adopting such and coercing members of the UN to implement them
"coercing"? If it's required by a resolution then it's legally binding -- to the letter (if not necessarily to the spirit) on all member nations... and the UN doesn't actually have any means of coercion other than that. Rewrite the clause, or add one, to make adoption of the committee's standards mandatory within member-nations and that's enough.

Chapter four: application

Art.12) The present resolution is to be applied on as soon as possible.
The work of the UNCSS shall start on January 8,2008 and end on December 1st, 2008
Resolutions automatically start to take effect as soon as they get passed, and (as 'Zarquon Froods' has already said) we're not all on the same calendar anyway: You can & should drop this clause.

Art.13) A commissioner, the Commissioner of the United Nations for Road Signalization
(CUNRS) will be responsible of all issues regadring signalization beyond December 1st, 2008
Spell-check!
Why not just leave the Committee with this job, instead of adding this Commissioner -- whose relationship with the committee you aren't making clear enough for my liking -- too?

Well thank you all for these comments. @ St-Edmund, i wrote this draft at 1 am, so I was kind of tired. Many of these mistakes have been corrected. Once again, thank you, and im working to improve this proposition.

I see you've jumped the gun and submitted this already, bad idea. The truth is writing a resolution is a marathon, not a sprint. The fact of the matter is that these days a proposal can spend months in the drafting stage getting the bugs worked out. Loopholes being closed, getting legality issues rectified, and most importantly, making sure that any spelling errors are removed.
Let's pick this thing apart.
A resolution to restrict political freedoms in the interest of law and order.


Category: Political Stability


Strength: StrongOK, stop right now. How the hell does standardizing traffic signals qualify as Political Stability?
Proposed by: Megachouland

Description: Preamble
Considering that there is no international standard road signalization,

CONSIDERING that signalization is essential for motorists and pedestrians,

WHEREAS the lack of international standard for such issue is a barrier for travel and trade,
because of systems in use are different form one anotherFrom not form. (I'll give you that spell check wouldn't have picked that one up)

OBSERVING that such a disparity could lead to dangerous situations, such as mortal accidents;

The United Nations hereby introduces the following measures:

Chapter one: definitions

Art.1) Signalization: Any system or part of a system that is used to regulate traffic,
inform motorists and/or pedestrians. This includes traffic lights,
signs and other signaling devices

Art.2) Pedestrian: Any individual that displaces him/herself by walking, using the public
space while doing so. This includes people on wheelchairs

Art.3) Motorist: Person that uses a motorized vehicle to move him/herself.
This exclude motorized wheelchairs and SegwaysSegway could be a RL reference.

Art.4) Cyclist: Any person that uses a unicyle, bicycle, tricycle, tendem
or Segway to displace him/herselfunicycle, tandem.

Art.5) Vehicle: Any moving machine, motorized or not that is used to move people.
As this resolution focusses stricly on road signalization, the term "vehicle"
will designate any terrestrial vehicleFocuses, strictly.

Chapter two: uniformizationThat's not even remotely close to a word.

Art.6) The signalization systems shall be uniform throughout the world

Art.7) The process of uniformization shall be supervized by a commission
(see chapter three)supervised

Art.8) The signaling devices shall be taken form exsisting devices, in a sense that
if a device, sign or light is aknowledged by all members of the commission, it
therefore shall be the defenitive signalExisting, acknowledged, definitive.

Chapter three: the commission

Art.9) A commission shall be created to ensure that the process is well followed

Art.10) The name of the commission is the
United Nation Commission for Standardization of Signalization (UNCSS)

Art.11) Role: the UNCSS is responsible for selecting (or inventing) signalization,
adopting and placing it

Chapter four: application

Art.12) A commissonner, the Commissionner of the United Nations for Road Signalization
(CUNRS) will be responsible of all issues regadring signalization beyond December 1st, 2008 Only one "n" in commissioner, reguarding.

OK, now that the spelling test is over, let's get down to more important issues. Issues like, why the hell should the UN waste it's time standardizing traffic signs and signals? One would think that if a person is going to go to a another nation, they'd take the time to make sure that they understand what the road signs they might see mean.

Bob Flibble
UN Representative

No. We strongly suggest that the author throw this mess away and try again. We can see a point to be made, but this is an exceptionally ugly way of making it.

Focuses
In Australia, either is acceptable.

Art.11) Role: the UNCSS is responsible for selecting (or inventing) signalization, devices and other items related to this issue, adopting such and coercing members of the UN to implement themCoercing how and with what. We see no means of it getting more than a group of whoevers to create something but no funds or powers to do what they will need to do. Don't expect nations to spend more than they might be on a traffic system as there are other issues many feel are above this and thus need funds. We already have a traffic system in place and have no problem when visitors come to our nation as they learn the laws of the road or walk... then they also learn the rules of the road or we send them home in a bag to bury.



Art.12) The present resolution is to be applied on as soon as possible.
The work of the UNCSS shall start on January 8,2008 and end on December 1st, 2008How is something that has no funds or actual powers or people to do anything going to be done in this time frame?

Art.13) A commissioner, the Commissioner of the United Nations for Road Signalization (CUNRS) will be responsible of all issues regadring signalization beyond December 1st, 2008You expect one person to maintain this... wish him luck and hope he has a good health plan included in the benifits.

Originally Posted by Uniform signalization
Art.8) The signaling devices shall be taken form exsisting devices, in a sense that if a device, sign or light is aknowledged by all members of the commission, it therefore shall be the defenitive signalAnd if those who end up on this commission have no idea what cars or traffic signals are we don't have anything in place.... Or if they use a one-eyed-bow-legged-drunk in a red suit holding a candle to direct traffic we use that. This group should have some idea of what they doing and consider what is best not what they use to using... As see this as breaking nations that might supply existing systems that don't get to say what system is used and theirs ends up not the one this group selects yet it far better than any they might know and also a lot cheaper and possibly more commly used. As there is no standards set for those on this commission nor how many will be on it.

Art.6) The signalization systems shall be uniform throughout the worldNot going to happen as the 'world' includes about three nations for every one in the UN and they will continue to use what they are using.. So this might not be legal because can't impose it on non-UN members and this is applied to them unless they not in your 'world'.... or you in their world since most places majority rule.