NationStates Jolt Archive

Plase Endorse my anti-self abause resolution, self-abuse is a huge so I sugest meke it illegal, I plase you endorsment for my project:-)

There is laughter from the Citadel's desk, staffed today by a pair of booted feet propped up on the podium. The figure staffing the desk is invisible behind the spread centerfold of this month's edition of the International Mammological Journal, the only scientific publication to come in a plastic seal. Slowly the magazine is lowered, revealing the dashing features of Lord Ingmar Thorne, the Citadel's military advisor and security attaché.

"I presume you mean this (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13089199&postcount=5218), sir?" he asks, tossing out a crumpled ball of paper upon which the words "Ban Self-abouse as inmoral" can be read. "Would you deny a man's right, sir, to shake hands with the Bishop, to hunt the unicorn, to wax the dolphin, to box the Jesuit? I thank the Gods, sir, that I was not born with any "inmorals", and I call perfidy on that!

"Not to mention," he drawls, "That it is utterly unenforceable, infringes upon the rights of nations to govern as they see fit, the rights of citizens to believe - and, more importantly, to act - as they see fit, promotes the influence of the clergy in government, and is poorly written and ungrammatical to boot!"

"To be fair," comments Dr Sweynsson, "I doubt whether English is actually its author's first language."

Mallatarsland has thought seriously and at length about this issue, but after a mass debate has decided to ignore the resolution. However, a tax on self abuse would be beneficial to several regions as they seem full of ...... ;)


:D

What is self-abuse?
You don't mean masturbation, right?
Oh! You do?

Well, THEN, and to be modest with the reaction of the Holy Empire of Kawaroo and its nations - :upyours:

In addition, the Eternal Pharaoh of Kawaroo, our Majesty Xenon Kawaroo, would like to thank You, Land of UBkistan, for a tremendous laugh-attack your little proposal caused throughout our Holy Empire. We would like to state it with the words of the Divine Britney Spears: "Gimme More". No, we are kidding. We just hope that your proposal was a joke. If You are serious about that issue - for God's sake, open an encyclopedia (a year 2007 edition, please), read a bit about masturbation and when you finally understand that it is something good, start playing... ...and forget about those Rabbis, Imams and Padres. Those Folks are on the Top of the World's Greatest Pedophiles List, so it seems rather controversial letting those people come close to young boys who do not know what to do with their penises.

And please! If you should ever have a boner, please, don't use the Bible to get the rid of it. We heard that some primitive people punch their penises with the Bible to exorcise the devil. No Bible, no Koran, no Torah... God is not meant to fight erections. Try a cold shower instead! ;)

Sincerely,


The Bureau of Public Relations and Foreign Affairs of
the Holy Empire of Kawaroo

(this post was requested by several political units
of the Holy Empire of Kawaroo:
the Ministry of Human Rights, the Ministry of Culture,
the Ministry of Education, the Ministry of Sexuality,
the Office of the Liberal Union of Xenom (LUX)
and it is not meant to offend anyone, but to keep
the words of light blossoming.)

...lok re'meen amush bra'koor.
(...coz we cast light upon dark shadows.)

Proposed by: UBkistan

Description: On this resolution he proposes entirely to forbid the self-abuse since it is a sinful and immoral practice. The self-abuse causes such illness a lot as going bald, blindness, deafness and mental illness. There are very susceptible young people for falling ill with the masturbation in particular boys and young men. He proposes appointing the special individual acting under the aegis as the UN for tasks of this unit fighting the self-abuse would belong. People were caught on the self-abuse so that forced to undergo the re-education, could deal with the re-education clergymen so as: the Priest, the Pastor, Rabin or the Imam. One should also remember that the self-abuse isn't spreading for any reason and a pornography, with which one should forbid in every form, is a cause. Concluding one should protect our offspring from the sin and spoiling.And we thought this was caused by us getting old...

Also not sure if you suggesting we let clergymen do the eductating as from what we have seen they are doing that already...believe the course is called Pedophovia 101... and several priest, pastors, rabins, and imans are great instructros in it.. and give it for free to any young man who needs help...

Now we do agree with you on the issue of pornography as it should be limited but not banned.. as have seen the latest issue of NSUN Nude Ambassadors Callender for coming year and it... well.... all can say is seen better looking shaved monkies.....

In my opinion, whoever wrote this proposal did so in a non-English language and then ran it through an online translator. It makes no sense at all.

Besides, I still have a full head of hair and perfect hearing... what does that tell you?
[OOC: I feel really bad for whoever came up with this. Their parents are easily some of the worst in the world.]

Eros Tatriel
UN Rep. for Subistratica

We feel inclined to point out that it's not abuse, if you're doing it right.

Obviously, there'll be no approval forthcoming. huhuh she said coming. /beavis

Leeth Talone
UN Ambassador. Really.

How are you going to enforce it? Most activity such as this goes on within the privacy of someone's home, or more commonly their bedroom. The only way you could enure it wasn't happening would be to have cameras in everyone's homes, a gross invasion of privacy and civil liberties.

Self-harm and self-abuse is symptomatic of a serious underlying emotional problem, most commonly the inability to cope with an extremely stressful or emotionally painful external situation the person has little to no control over. They can't cope emotionally, so they externalise their pain by cutting or hurting themselves, as their physical pain distracts them from their inner turmoil and gives them a much needed sense of control.

Now, if it is illegal, what do you propose we do with self harmers? Do we imprison them for having a condition which renders them incapable of dealing with problems rationally? If yes, then you may as well arrest sufferers of Tourrettes Syndrome for constant profane language. These people aren't rational, so cannot be held accountable for their actions as a rational person should be.

Im sorry but this would be too hard to properly enforce as well as an invasion of privacy and of civil liberties. We also have had trouble finding evidence that this "abuse" causes these illnesses and such.

..as have seen the latest issue of NSUN Nude Ambassadors Callender for coming year and it... well.... all can say is seen better looking shaved monkies.....

Well then you must have missed the pages with Deputy Ambassador Acquerello and The Thessadorian Ambassador...

Richard York
UN Ambassador

Well then you must have missed the pages with Deputy Ambassador Acquerello and The Thessadorian Ambassador...I found them but could not look at them somebody had made a mess and those pages were glued together... my young aide is a growing boy often has troubles controling himself.... will have to take him to be fixed soon as can, since they banned cat houses here things have been rough.

How are you going to enforce it? Most activity such as this goes on within the privacy of someone's home, or more commonly their bedroom. The only way you could enure it wasn't happening would be to have cameras in everyone's homes, a gross invasion of privacy and civil liberties.

Self-harm and self-abuse is symptomatic of a serious underlying emotional problem, most commonly the inability to cope with an extremely stressful or emotionally painful external situation the person has little to no control over. They can't cope emotionally, so they externalise their pain by cutting or hurting themselves, as their physical pain distracts them from their inner turmoil and gives them a much needed sense of control.

Now, if it is illegal, what do you propose we do with self harmers? Do we imprison them for having a condition which renders them incapable of dealing with problems rationally? If yes, then you may as well arrest sufferers of Tourrettes Syndrome for constant profane language. These people aren't rational, so cannot be held accountable for their actions as a rational person should be.


He doesn't mean self abuse in the Gothic "look, I cut myself" way. He means wanking.

Wolfgang looked about, startled. "You... er... is this thing serious?" He asked Kyle.

"Yeah," the boy said. "They're trying to make me and every other Guardian a criminal..."

OOC: I don't care if it WAS a translator, the fact that "self abuse" is spelled incorrectly two different ways irrationally trips my Grammar Nazi trigger. Furthermore... are there really still people who believe that your body is going to fall apart from such activities? I mean, we can't PROVE if one goes to hell or not (not that I particularly care, being agnostic), but we pretty much CAN prove that it's more or less a standard human function.

How would one enforce such "anti self-abuse" resolutions?

~Spock,
Deputy Ambassador

How would one enforce such "anti self-abuse" resolutions?

~Spock,
Deputy Ambassador

a UN-wide ban of kleenex?

I found them but could not look at them somebody had made a mess and those pages were glued together... my young aide is a growing boy often has troubles controling himself.... will have to take him to be fixed soon as can, since they banned cat houses here things have been rough.

T.M.I

they have more copies down in the gift shop

- R.Y.

a UN-wide ban of kleenex?
- R.Y.

Eeew.

I mean, what about the sick citizens? Will they use towels?
Cheese?

Won't somebody PLEASE think of the flu-ridden citizens?

~Spock,
Deputy Ambassador

I tried really hard to find a polite way to say that this proposal is a blight upon the legislative landscape. I couldn't.

Why in the world would anyone think this is something even remotely important enough for this body to address?

Ikir Askanabath, Acting Ambassador

I tried really hard to find a polite way to say that this proposal is a blight upon the legislative landscape. I couldn't.

Why in the world would anyone think this is something even remotely important enough for this body to address?

Ikir Askanabath, Acting Ambassador

That is logical. Indeed, it is the job of the local government, or even, say, parents, to address.

~Spock,
Deputy Ambassador

A random Ariddian whom no-one has ever seen before takes the floor, and coughs.

"Attention, please. My country's delegation can't be bothered to attend this rather pointless discussion, and has sent me to provide you instead with a far more instructive lecture on the mating practices of woodlice.

I assure the honourable representatives present in this august Assembly that I won't be requiring the floor for more than four and a half hours. Possibly five."

The man coughs again, then begins.

http://img216.imageshack.us/img216/5063/unspeaker7ai6.jpg

I quite agree; there are far more presing issues at hand. Such as the theft of the Cobdenian Native People's Party members' hat brims

http://www.egy.com/P/chamsi/leagueofnations3.JPG

Assistant Twafflonian Ambassador to the UN, Mirah Leinenkugel, whistles innocently at the mention of the hat brims. She hopes nobody makes a connection to her new futuristic black "shoulder rings."

"(ahem) Yes, self abuse. I move that we create a committee to investigate the accuracy of the supposed negative health effects associated with this popular style of "self-abuse," and I hereby nominate UBkistan as the sole member, to report its findings to the United Nations after further extensive research taking no less than two months. All in favor?"

"(ahem) Yes, self abuse. I move that we create a committee to investigate the accuracy of the supposed negative health effects associated with this popular style of "self-abuse," and I hereby nominate UBkistan as the sole member, to report its findings to the United Nations after further extensive research taking no less than two months. All in favor?"I do not believe two months is enough time suggest he get at least two years for this to get good results...

I do not believe two months is enough time suggest he get at least two years for this to get good results...

Yes...that sounds like an appropriate length of time. Who knows, maybe he will die from it...

Serifina Karin looks at the proposal she received, then makes her way into the General Assembly chamber.

"All I have to say is this. If the religion of my country, a very restrictive one, mind you, doesn't forbid it, then neither should this body. Good god, how ridiculous."

She storms back out. "I left a good book for this?"

Righto, people, we've played around here long enough, we're keeping this poor tired little topic up long past its bedtime.

Come along, now, out onto the playing fields for some good healthy violence.

I heard that! Ten points off the house of the student who said, "Modnazi!"