NationStates Jolt Archive

"Donatella steps up to the podium, walking very gingerly up the steps, her arm in a sling, one of her piercing blue eyes blackened around the edges. For the first time she is flanked by two very massive looking guards in USoP Armed Forces uniforms. Their hands rest of the handles of the weapons tucked in holsters and their eyes diligently scan the room. The secretary of international affairs for the USoP looks up at the GA.

'It is with great relief I announce that the USoP has approved Nigel S Youlkin as new Ambassador at Large to this body, Nigel has agreed to step in immediately, he has been fully briefed on the state of operations of the USoP UN Delegation. He is leaving his post as my under-secretary of International Affairs and I'm sure he will serve the USoP and the world as well as he has served me.

Also in light of recent events,' her hand absently prods at her eye 'the President of My Country has seen fit to detail a platoon of troops from the USoP Armed Forces Security Regiment to serve as security for our delegation.
Please clear any and all meeting with members of our delegation with General Harlin Majors, the UN Security Detail's commander. We regret it has come to this but unfortunately there are delegates on this floor who can't be taught civility and feel the need to act like animals, and the president feels this is the only way to ensure our security.

I depart your company with mixed feelings, I will miss those who approach the proceedings here with reverence and statesmanship. I will not miss those who feel like this is a place to be barbaric, and rude. I will of course continue to advice Nigel in my duties as Secretary of International Affairs

Goodbye and good luck.'

She turns and walks slowly down the stairs, grimacing with each step, the guards follow closely maintaining vigilance."

Cdr. Chiang returned to the ambassador's residence, finding the Destructor in his usual spot the last week, lying back in Sammy's chair watching "SportsCenter," his feet up on the desk, now littered with beer bottles.

"You know, Mr. President, the ambassador has said he prefers his staff drink at the bar, not in the office," she pointed out.

"Oh, I've been to the bar," the president replied, taking a swig from a fresh Arrogant Bastard Ale and not taking his eyes off the TV. "Boring as fuck. Nothing but raptors making idle threats and pointless conversations about flying. No hot chicks in sight. So I left.

"Speaking of that ambassador dude, any sign of him yet?"

"Got a text message. He says he's attending to 'urgent diplomatic business,'" reported the commander.

"What do you want, anyway?"

"A response might be in order to the Philimbesians, who won't stop making official announcements to the UN about their staff changes," Chiang said. "They are a new nation; we should make them feel 'welcome.'"

"And?"

"Well, Mr. President, they're also regurgitating the same old tired and stale complaint about UN diplomats lacking 'civility' and 'decorum,'" Chiang continued.

"Boring," groaned the Destructor softly, taking another sip of beer.

"Yes," Chiang agreed, "that line is so ancient, it's petrified." She stifled a laugh. "They're even saying the situation at UN Headquarters is so rude, they're actually dispatching security personnel to their delegation."

"Heh."

"You know, Mr. President, I think Philimbesi might be the first nation ever to assign a security detail to a diplomatic mission."

"It's outrageous," the Destructor said dully to the ESPN anchor on screen. "Almost makes me want to get out of my chair."

"So what should our response be?" asked Chiang. "The usual cruel pranks, military threats, boorish arrogance, or something new?"

"Nah," said the president. "Just send them some mints. And tell 'em to suck on them. Suck them hard."

"Very good, sir."

[OOC: You know, you could have used the same thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=531073); no one would have held it against you. :p In fact, we at the UN have an entire thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=507615) devoted to delegation staffing; perhaps you can make good use of it as well?]

Cdr. Chiang returned to the ambassador's residence, finding the Destructor in his usual spot the last week, lying back in Sammy's chair watching "SportsCenter," his feet up on the desk, now littered with beer bottles.

"You know, Mr. President, the ambassador has said he prefers his staff drink at the bar, not in the office," she pointed out.

"Oh, I've been to the bar," the president replied, taking a swig from a fresh Arrogant Bastard Ale and not taking his eyes off the TV. "Boring as fuck. Nothing but raptors making idle threats and pointless conversations about flying. No hot chicks in sight. So I left.

"Speaking of that ambassador dude, any sign of him yet?"

"Got a text message. He says he's attending to 'urgent diplomatic business,'" reported the commander.

"What do you want, anyway?"

"A response might be in order to the Philimbesians, who won't stop making official announcements to the UN about their staff changes," Chiang said. "They are a new nation; we should make them feel 'welcome.'"

"And?"

"Well, Mr. President, they're also regurgitating the same old tired and stale complaint about UN diplomats lacking 'civility' and 'decorum,'" Chiang continued.

"Boring," groaned the Destructor softly, taking another sip of beer.

"Yes," Chiang agreed, "that line is so ancient, it's petrified." In fact," She stifled a laugh, "They're even saying the situation at UN Headquarters is so rude, they're actually dispatching security personnel to their delegation."

"Heh."

"You know, Mr. President, I think Philimbesi might be the first nation ever to assign a security detail to a diplomatic mission."

"It's outrageous," the Destructor said dully to the ESPN anchor on screen. "Almost makes me want to get out of my chair."

"So what should our response be?" asked Chiang. "The usual cruel pranks, military threats, boorish arrogance, or something new?"

"Nah," said the president. "Just send them some mints. And tell 'em to suck on them. Suck them hard."

"Very good, sir."

[OOC: You know, you could have used the same thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=531073); no one would have held it against you. :p In fact, we at the UN have an entire thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=507615) devoted to delegation staffing; perhaps you can make good use of it as well?]


OOC: My bad. I missed that thread. I figured the story had moved on so I should move to a different thread. I'll behave in the future.

IC: Thanks for the mints!

OOC: Hack you can kill the two threads if you wish

John leaned back in his chair and his assistant David Verdugo said "Sir, what should we give the Philimbesian rep that's leaving?" John thought a moment and smiled and said "Give her this box of Donuts!" David said "Yes sir!" and ran out the door to deliver the box of donuts to the Philimbesian rep...

A hastily scribbled note is delivered to the departing ambassador


Ambassador, the United Nations headquarters is indeed a violent, bizarre and thoroughly unique place. I have not had the opportunity to debate with you at length, and I regret your departure, but I must say I understand it. On behalf of my government, I wish you well in the future.

As a parting gift, a pack of bottles of Ariddian grapefruit beer will be delivered to your office... if we can find it. If not, come and knock on our door, and I'll give it to you in person.

signed,
Christophe Boco (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Christophe_Boco)

OOC: Hack you can kill the two threads if you wishOOC: I wasn't suggesting you have this thread closed; I was merely linking you to a relevant source. ;)

Surely we're not that barbaric that armed guards need to be placed in to the GA...are we ?

Anyways we would like to welcome Mr. Youlkin to the United Nations on behalf of The Cookeslandic UN Delegation. Hope to see you in the bar or if you're ever by the storage closet on the 18th floor do stop in.

Richard York
UN Ambassador
The United States of Cookesland

Surely we're not that barbaric that armed guards need to be placed in to the GA...are we ?

Whatever one may think of the UN, it's always wise to have at least some security around. One never knows what can happen, after all. That's why we've always had a security contingent here, from Altanar's first arrival in these hallowed halls.

- Markus Paulanus
Security Chief, Altanari UN Delegation
Royal Intelligence and Security Directorate

Whatever one may think of the UN, it's always wise to have at least some security around. One never knows what can happen, after all. That's why we've always had a security contingent here, from Altanar's first arrival in these hallowed halls.

- Markus Paulanus
Security Chief, Altanari UN Delegation
Royal Intelligence and Security Directorate

I guess i should start looking into that, but then again our closet doesn't have a whole lot of extra space.

Richard York
et al.

"Well, you can request an office upgrade, but you require these forms."

Dr. Hodz placed them on Mr. York's desk.

"Office Class A Upgrade Request Form, Intent to Relocate Form 10-B, Watercooler Requisition Form B, and Notice of Armed Personnel Form Class D. Plus several hundred more.

"Rumour has it that Building Mgmt stores all paperwork in several inconveniently large buildings."

"Well, you can request an office upgrade, but you require these forms."

Dr. Hodz placed them on Mr. York's desk.

"Office Class A Upgrade Request Form, Intent to Relocate Form 10-B, Watercooler Requisition Form B, and Notice of Armed Personnel Form Class D. Plus several hundred more.

"Rumour has it that Building Mgmt stores all paperwork in several inconveniently large buildings."

"hmm i didn't know that, thanks for the forms."

*looks over mountain of papers*

"Do i just drop..err wheelbarrow these off at the Building Mgmt offices?"

"Do i just drop..err wheelbarrow these off at the Building Mgmt offices?"

"If you can find it, in this labyrinth of a building."