NationStates Jolt Archive

Slightly drunk, and bored. A dangerous combination.

The United Nations,

REALISING that different crisp manufacturers use different colours for different crisp flavours,

BELIEVING this to be rather annoying,

DEFINING a "crisp" as s a thin slice of a potato, deep fried or baked until crisp,

The United Nations, hereby,

1. MANDATES that all nations adopt the colour code system as follows:
a) "Ready Salted" crisp packets are to have red as the dominant colour,
b) "Salt & Vinegar" crisp packets are to have blue as the dominant colour,
c) "Cheese & Onion" crisp packets are to have green as the dominant colour,
d) "Bacon" or "Smokey Bacon" crisp packets are to have purple as the dominant colour,
e) "Beef" crisp packets are to have black as the dominant colour,
f) "Prawn Cocktail" crisp packets are to have pink as the dominant colour,
g) "Barbeque" crisp packets are to have burgundy as the dominant colour,
h) "Pickled Onion" crisp packets are to have orange as the dominant colour,
i) "Roast Chicken" crisp packets are to have yellow as the dominant colour,
j) "Worcester Sauce" crisp packets are to have brown as the dominant colour,
k) "Tomato Ketchup" crisp packets are to have crimson as the dominant colour,
l) "Marmite" crisp packets are to have yellow as the dominant colour,

2. NOTIFIES those companies that give posh names to their crisp flavours that we all know that "Mature Cheddar and Red Onion" crisps is just poncy way of saying "cheese and onion", so you might as well stop all this silly nonsense,

3. ESABLISHES the Bureau Of Newly Invented Crisp Flavours And Colour Endorsement (BONIFACE),

4. COMPELS all crisp companies manufacturer new crisp flavours not listed above to send the colour they intend to use to the UN Bureau Of Newly Invented Crisp Flavours And Colour Endorsement for approval,

"The Dark Empire of Shazbotdom will not bow down to some rediculous attempt to regulate our Potatoe Chip industry. We will vote this down if it ever comes to the floor and we will not endorce this as the Deligate for CIN Headquarters."

UN Rep. Henry Armstrong

You left out the orange for the official crisp flavour of of Cluichstan: crab.

http://www.illegaluturn.com/im/sn/Utz-Crab.jpg

"The Dark Empire of Shazbotdom will not bow down to some rediculous attempt to regulate our Potatoe Chip industry. We will vote this down if it ever comes to the floor and we will not endorce this as the Deligate for CIN Headquarters."

UN Rep. Henry Armstrong

Well, don't blame us when you buy a packet of agricultual fungicide flavoured crisps instead of smokey bacon...

OOC: May I inquire as to what the term "ready salted" means?

OoC: It's the standard flavour in the UK; plain with salt.

No! Blue is the obvious colour for salted! You are going against literally years of tradition!

http://www.choice.com.au/files/f123893.jpg

We would thank the Ambassador of Cobdenia not to forward the heresy that Salt & Vinegar and Cheese & Onion crisp packets be coloured the wrong way round!

Ahem.

d) "Bacon" or "Smokey Bacon" crisp packets are to have pruple as the dominant colour,

and

h) "Pickled Onion" crisp packets are to have purple as the dominant colour,

I welcome the Cobdenians' forward-thinking move into Typographically Tilted Tints.

-- Dicey Reilly, wrongfully President of Ardchoille.

What about human flavored chips?

What?

Why are you all looking at me like that?


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/Tindalos/UN/Verm.jpg
Vermithrax Pejorative
UN Observer
The Federated Technocratic Oligarchy of the Most Glorious Hack

What about human flavored chips?

What?

Why are you all looking at me like that?




Because we're all trying hard not to be the first to succumb to the impulse to say, "Ooooh, burn!"

Anyway, what's wrong with human flavoured chips? We all know how much actual banana there is in banana-flavoured stuff.

Besides, Mme Vermithrax is only a few aeons old. She wouldn't want to ruin her girlish figure with high-fat, high salt content humans.

... er ... would she?

I must ask: What about Ariddia's very own, high quality, baked over a stone oven (or something like that) grapefruit-flavoured crisps? If pink and yellow are already taken (and yellow is even taken twice)... what's left?

The PDSRA also expresses its delight at the proper use of the word "crisps". None of that silly foreign use of "chips", thank you very much!

Anyway, what's wrong with human flavoured chips? We all know how much actual banana there is in banana-flavoured stuff.Which would you prefer, madam? Banana flavoring, or a banana?

Besides, Mme Vermithrax is only a few aeons old. She wouldn't want to ruin her girlish figure with high-fat, high salt content humans.When you're the last of your species, you'll find that looks are no longer a primary concern.


I kid, I kid. Besides, the only people in these halls that deserve eating are the ones that probably taste the worst anyway. I mean, you wouldn't want to eat a cow so addled by prions that it can barely stand, would you? Shockingly similar concept here.


- Vermithrax Pejorative

Round our way, we draw a distinction between "chips" -- obviously, from a fish 'n' chip shop -- and "packet chips", which you mob from Outside call "crisps".

But we must not let such vital legislation founder on the rocks of national pride or founder in the swamps of unproductive debate.

Solely for the purposes of this proposal, and stipulating that this is is not to be taken in any way as a binding precedent, Ardchoille is willing to accommodate the proposal's author on this -- and only on this -- point.

We would suggest to the Ariddian delegation that, given the substance from which their national crispy snack is made, beige might be an utterly appropriate (even well-deserved) colour.

Dicey Reilly, wrongfully President of Ardchoille.

EDIT: Dicey, being aware of her pristine organic purity, has suddenly remembered an ancient Ardchoillean proverb that starts, "Meddle not in the affairs of dragons ... "

No! Blue is the obvious colour for salted! You are going against literally years of tradition!

http://www.choice.com.au/files/f123893.jpg

This is the one thing that Hula Hoops, Golden Wonder, Pringles, and even "wrong way round" Walkers agree on: Ready Salted is Red.

What about human flavored chips?

What?

Why are you all looking at me like that?

Because everyone knows humans TASTE LIKE CHICKEN. :p

What?

What did you think those "toursits" were in Retired WerePenguins that we served BBQ style until their declining population made us stop?

I'm going to include my official response as a seperate post because it's not a good idea to mix politics and pleasure - except when defenstrating people of course.

Retired WerePenguins officially opposes this resolution: Think about the color blinded people! Thank you.

Retired WerePenguins officially opposes this resolution: Think about the color blinded people! Thank you.

We consider the effect on colorblind people minimal, as the coloration is truly irrelevant to them anyway.

It has long been the opinion of the government of Alstitua that some of the issues the UN has been ruling on have been "as trivial as regulating the colours of chocolate bar packages". While crisp packets are not exactly the same, we congratulate the government of Cobdenia for ending this hypocrisy and actually doing this. If Alstitua were to join the UN, we would almost certainly support this measure.

Lady Celia Zabatdiam Howard
Alstituan UN Observer

We consider the effect on colorblind people minimal, as the coloration is truly irrelevant to them anyway.

This is the kind of narrow minded thoughtless comment that separates the truly great, the mildly fine, the average and the mediocre nations from those less enlightened in the art of diplomacy and statesmanship.
Anyone who is colour blind and has ever tried to negotiate a tin of assorted colour wrapped chocolates will soon tell you that not being able to distinguish red and green can lead to truly disappointing taste sensations. especially if you like strawberry creams.
The glorious Northernes of Bahgum applauds the ethos behind this proposal, at long last tackling an issue affecting truly millions, with an identifiable, reachable goal. We sincerely hope that the needs of colour blind people can be incorporated into a minor redraft, perhaps by avoiding the most common problem colours of red and green, or perhaps by including different patterened crinkly edges, therefore, at a stroke, ending years of confusion suffered by the blind too.

Think about the color blinded people! Thank you.

In that case, they can just read the label. Or discern the different shades of grey/gray.

We could also author a resolution on which form of "grey/gray" would be used to describe the color.

Respectfully,
Dr. Jules Hodz
Akimonad Blah Blah UN
Blah Blah Professor
Blah University Blah Blah Blah

We fully agree with Mme. Pejorative.

http://visa.com/globalgateway/images/global/logo.gif Official Press Release

Though we aren't in the UN, we would vote for this provided it furthers profits.

If we did not see that it was wrong already, this proposal makes us even more happy that we are not UN members, as it clearly proves that all the UN does is micro-manage the legislation of its member nations. Here in Swilatia, we have no need for something so trivial as a standardisation of crisp packet colours. No, we'll just stick to letting companies use whatever colours the want, usually blue for salted.

http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/5985/swilatia7au6.gif

http://static.flickr.com/3/4833733_7d6d716a33.jpg

won't somebody please think of the Dill Pickle Chips? :rolleyes:

Signed,
The Cookeslandic "Still searching for a UN Ambassador" UN Mission

This is the kind of narrow minded thoughtless comment that separates the truly great, the mildly fine, the average and the mediocre nations from those less enlightened in the art of diplomacy and statesmanship.
Anyone who is colour blind and has ever tried to negotiate a tin of assorted colour wrapped chocolates will soon tell you that not being able to distinguish red and green can lead to truly disappointing taste sensations. especially if you like strawberry creams.
The glorious Northernes of Bahgum applauds the ethos behind this proposal, at long last tackling an issue affecting truly millions, with an identifiable, reachable goal. We sincerely hope that the needs of colour blind people can be incorporated into a minor redraft, perhaps by avoiding the most common problem colours of red and green, or perhaps by including different patterened crinkly edges, therefore, at a stroke, ending years of confusion suffered by the blind too.


Our panel of colorblind tastetesters has one question for you...

"How exactly do you wantto incorporate the needs of colorblind people into a colorcode?"

Our panel of colorblind tastetesters has one question for you...

"How exactly do you wantto incorporate the needs of colorblind people into a colorcode?"

Well, the taste testers could start by actually reading all of that which one quotes:

"We sincerely hope that the needs of colour blind people can be incorporated into a minor redraft, perhaps by avoiding the most common problem colours of red and green, or perhaps by including different patterened crinkly edges, therefore, at a stroke, ending years of confusion suffered by the blind too."

As one must surely know, one only has to avoid certain colour combinations, most markedly red/green to avoid colour blind issues.
For the very small percentage with issues other than red/green then one should also consider looking at our esteemed colleague Akimonad's post too. Then, perhaps, such questions would not be needed?

The PDSRA also expresses its delight at the proper use of the word "crisps". None of that silly foreign use of "chips", thank you very much!

The Kingdom of Altanar takes offense at this statement, as we are one of those "silly foreign" nations where people call them chips. We insist that the word "chips" be fully integrated into this document. We also think beef-flavored chips should be brown, not black. Altanar's most popular brand of chips, Mr. Moo's Bursting With Beef Chips, are always in a brown bag. We would not want people confusing them with our least popular brand of chips, Dr. Regular's Prune Chips.

If we did not see that it was wrong already, this proposal makes us even more happy that we are not UN members, as it clearly proves that all the UN does is micro-manage the legislation of its member nations. Here in Swilatia, we have no need for something so trivial as a standardisation of crisp packet colours. No, we'll just stick to letting companies use whatever colours the want, usually blue for salted.

http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/5985/swilatia7au6.gif

I think it's pretty clear that this is somewhat of a joke and you are taking it too seriously.

I think it's pretty clear that this is somewhat of a joke and you are taking it too seriously.

try telling that to just about everyone who posted here.

a) "Ready Salted" crisp packets are to have red as the dominant colour,
b) "Salt & Vinegar" crisp packets are to have blue as the dominant colour,
c) "Cheese & Onion" crisp packets are to have green as the dominant colour,
d) "Bacon" or "Smokey Bacon" crisp packets are to have purple as the dominant colour,

Correct.

e) "Beef" crisp packets are to have black as the dominant colour,

WRONG.

f) "Prawn Cocktail" crisp packets are to have pink as the dominant colour,

Correct.

g) "Barbeque" crisp packets are to have burgundy as the dominant colour,

WROOOOOONG.

h) "Pickled Onion" crisp packets are to have orange as the dominant colour,

Correct.

j) "Worcester Sauce" crisp packets are to have brown as the dominant colour,

WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG.

k) "Tomato Ketchup" crisp packets are to have crimson as the dominant colour,

Correct.

l) "Marmite" crisp packets are to have yellow as the dominant colour,

WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG.

Beef and Barbecue are basically the same thing anyway and should be integrated into one brown crisp packet. Worcester Sauce should be the real burgundy packet. Marmite should have black and yellow. Aside from that, good show (except the lack of grey packets for Minted Lamb)

What in the name of Bob are Marmite Chips?

Cookeslandic UN Mission

Crisps flavoured like marmite. Marmite is a dual purpose , very viscous, substance that is used as both a sadwhich paste, and I believe, an industrial lubricant. Strange people who live on the wrong side of the world and wear hats with corks dangling and cuddle crocodiles have a similar substance known as Vegimite...

Chips. Not crisps. As an American Twit, and thus a self-proclaimed expert on everything, I stand by the phrase, "potato chips." :D

Crisps flavoured like marmite. Marmite is a dual purpose , very viscous, substance that is used as both a sadwhich paste, and I believe, an industrial lubricant. Strange people who live on the wrong side of the world and wear hats with corks dangling and cuddle crocodiles have a similar substance known as Vegimite...

Why thank you Cobdenia. Chips or Crisps who cares? call them what ever you want!

Cookeslandic UN Mission

http://www.illegaluturn.com/im/sn/Pringles-Select-Szech.jpg
These are quite good.
http://www.illegaluturn.com/im/sn/PringlesSelect-CinnSweet.jpg
As are these.

How would Szechuan Barbecue and Cinnamon Sweet Potato fit into the color coding scheme?

Chips. Not crisps. As an American Twit, and thus a self-proclaimed expert on everything, I stand by the phrase, "potato chips." :DWe applaud our friends from the Wolf Guardians and demand that henceforth our colleagues refer to chips as "chips," fries as "fries," drop all unnecessary u's in proper spelling, convert to imperial measurements, pledge allegiance to the American flag, and get their freak on.

*sigh*

This is what happens when the majority of representatives are male! For shame, we simply cannot accept a resolution that reduces colours to simplistic description such as “yellow” or “black”.

What of the countless millions of unmentioned shades? Are they to be excluded from this resolution? Consigned to suppression at the whim of unscrupulous governments?

For instance, we don’t believe that it is “purple”, it is “aubergine with speck of electrical flare”! What of apple white? Lavender? Electric Blue? Sky Blue? Duck Egg Blue? Is it not the job of the UN to promote and safeguard these often overlooked minorities?

Further, we believe that this is an atomic resolution. It is overly narrow and will open the flood gates to a myriad of food packaging resolutions. We firmly believe that this resolution would benefit from taking a molecular approach and incorporating fizzy drinks, and biscuits not to mention finally telling us all what the difference between “still” and “spring” water actually is!

Anravelle “loves to perpetuate a female stereotype” Kramer
UN Ambassador,
The Ice Queendom of Ithania.

Ah, I thank the esteemed representative of Ithania for stressing the capability of males when it comes to colors. As the new ambassador to the United Nations, I am always baffled why my military attaché, Capt. Bruno Morcone, usually brings me those red chili flavored chips when I tell him to get the maroon ones.

And right now the wallpaper in my office in the UN building is PURPLE because Bruno got them instead of FUCHSIA. Dang, he can't even spell it correctly!

Which brings me to a point raised by Bruno himself. If we made the wrapper of roast-chicken flavored chips to be aquamarine, he won't be able to distinguish it from the poop-flavored turquoise-wrapped chips! Think of the male population! They'll always get the poop-flavored chips instead of the roast-chicken flavored ones!

(My husband and Bruno absolutely love this resolution, but I wonder about the thoughts of Prime Minister Marianna Cortanella and Trade Minister Liana Riprostoggione. Maybe they'll suggest "pink" to be in the list of colors.)

Carina Talchimio-Spicolli
Permanent Representative of Brutland and Norden to the United Nations

try telling that to just about everyone who posted here.

I believe the term is "playing along".

Also, either crisps or chips is fine with the Commonwealth o'er 'ere.

I am Aram Koopman and I support this message.

You know, all this bickering over the possibility of people misidentifying colors and thereby buying the wrong flavor of chips, makes me think that perhaps there should be a clause mandating that the flavor also be written on the package.

Bob Flibble
UN Representative

You know, all this bickering over the possibility of people misidentifying colors and thereby buying the wrong flavor of chips, makes me think that perhaps there should be a clause mandating that the flavor also be written on the package.

Bob Flibble
UN Representative

Witchcraft!!! How dare ye speak of none colour related issues? Out Bob, out....

(this week is national witchhunter week in the Bahgumian calendar, a family celebration of groundless accusations, impromptu duckings and merry gatherings around roaring fires......)

I'm more concerned that there are places where Pringles isn't sold in a can. I have never in my life seen a BAG of Pringles.

LMAO! "No! I'm not prepared to pursue my inquiry any farther as I think this has gotten too silly!"

The Wolf Guardians;12443369']I'm more concerned that there are places where Pringles isn't sold in a can. I have never in my life seen a BAG of Pringles.

LMAO! "No! I'm not prepared to pursue my inquiry any farther as I think this has gotten too silly!"

OOC: Those Pringles Select things are new, and they're sold in bags everywhere. No more "once you pop, you can't stop," I guess. ;)

The Wolf Guardians;12443462']OOC: That's stupid. I love the cans! That's what Pringles ARE! They're neater, they seal, and are just generally more suited to those of us with OCD. Bloody marketers trying to change things, I'm sure.

OOC: Don't worry, I saw an article in the newspaper last week about those new Pringles and the guy they interviewed about them said that the cans aren't going anywhere.

EDIT: And Jolt pelvic thrusts again.:rolleyes:

OOC: That's stupid. I love the cans! That's what Pringles ARE! They're neater, they seal, and are just generally more suited to those of us with OCD. Bloody marketers trying to change things, I'm sure.

The Wolf Guardians;12443462']OOC: That's stupid. I love the cans! That's what Pringles ARE! They're neater, they seal, and are just generally more suited to those of us with OCD. Bloody marketers trying to change things, I'm sure.

OOC: Meh, it's a pathetic attempt to get in on the "gourmet" chip market.

Ad uh...is it just me, or is this starting to sound like a thread in General? :p

OOC: Meh, it's a pathetic attempt to get in on the "gourmet" chip market.

Ad uh...is it just me, or is this starting to sound like a thread in General? :p

OOC: Perhaps it's just their way of not contributing to hacking? (If you don't know, you don't know, and I'm not going to enlighten you.)

*sigh*

This is what happens when the majority of representatives are male! For shame, we simply cannot accept a resolution that reduces colours to simplistic description such as “yellow” or “black”.

What of the countless millions of unmentioned shades? Are they to be excluded from this resolution? Consigned to suppression at the whim of unscrupulous governments?

For instance, we don’t believe that it is “purple”, it is “aubergine with speck of electrical flare”! What of apple white? Lavender? Electric Blue? Sky Blue? Duck Egg Blue? Is it not the job of the UN to promote and safeguard these often overlooked minorities?

Further, we believe that this is an atomic resolution. It is overly narrow and will open the flood gates to a myriad of food packaging resolutions. We firmly believe that this resolution would benefit from taking a molecular approach and incorporating fizzy drinks, and biscuits not to mention finally telling us all what the difference between “still” and “spring” water actually is!

Anravelle “loves to perpetuate a female stereotype” Kramer
UN Ambassador,
The Ice Queendom of Ithania.

Ach! Think about it, woman! As men, we don't care about all the fuzzy shades of purple and gold and black and such; in fact, if someone tried to tell me that I'd got the turquoise crisps instead of the aquamarine, I'd shove a baseball bat into their throat! MEN DO NOT DO SHADES. WE DO RED, YELLOW, BROWN, PURPLE, NOT CRIMSON, MUSTARD, CHOCOLATE AND AUBERGINE (EXCEPT IN THE CONTEXT OF SPORTS UNIFORMS).

ROAR.

Dan Dee,
Deputy Minister for the Environment (We get no government funding! Hooray!)

*sigh*

This is what happens when the majority of representatives are male! For shame, we simply cannot accept a resolution that reduces colours to simplistic description such as “yellow” or “black”.

What of the countless millions of unmentioned shades? Are they to be excluded from this resolution? Consigned to suppression at the whim of unscrupulous governments?

For instance, we don’t believe that it is “purple”, it is “aubergine with speck of electrical flare”! What of apple white? Lavender? Electric Blue? Sky Blue? Duck Egg Blue? Is it not the job of the UN to promote and safeguard these often overlooked minorities?

Further, we believe that this is an atomic resolution. It is overly narrow and will open the flood gates to a myriad of food packaging resolutions. We firmly believe that this resolution would benefit from taking a molecular approach and incorporating fizzy drinks, and biscuits not to mention finally telling us all what the difference between “still” and “spring” water actually is!

Anravelle “loves to perpetuate a female stereotype” Kramer
UN Ambassador,
The Ice Queendom of Ithania.http://www.yaelf.com/colour.shtml
http://www.icipaints.co.uk/colours/duluxtrade/palette/index.jsp
Lots of shades for the womenfolk to choose from.

OOC: Because the ex wanted to redecorate. <sigh>

OOC: Because the ex wanted to redecorate. <sigh>

OOC: A likely story... :p

I demand that this proposal be submitted immediately!

-Aram Koopman

*pouts*

You're no fun any more, Mr Koopman!

We haven't got to the good bits yet! What about the category, eh? What about the strength?

I reckon it could slip under the radar as ... no, you go first. I'm feeling generous today.

-- Dicey Reilly, wrongfully President of Ardchoille.

International security. Because I am going to attach a rider, mandating that every Crisp Packet is rigged with explosives to kill terrorists and communists.

-Aram Koopman

International security. Because I am going to attach a rider, mandating that every Crisp Packet is rigged with explosives to kill terrorists and communists.

Now you're just being silly, Aram. We were having a serious discussion here. If the UN doesn't step in immediately to settle all this sniping and bickering about chip packet colours, it could escalate to the point where everyone started taking sides and it got really bad. I mean, people might start acting like ... uhhh ...

terrorists and communists and nationalists and separatists and patriots and ....

Oh, dear.

I hate it when that happens.

-- Dicey Reilly, wrongfully President of Ardchoille.

I say Free Trade, Mild on the basis that it's sort of like the Chemical Transport Standards (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11973211&postcount=184) resolution.

Bob Flibble
UN Representative