NationStates Jolt Archive

Category: Environmental
Industry Affected: All Business

The United Nations,

Alarmed by the damage done by men with money to our mother, the Earth,

Noting that terrorism is an insignificant threat compared to that of Global Warming,

Recognizing that Global Warming is the key to saving life on this planet,

Further recognizing that we'll all be dead in five years from Global Warming due to floods, famines, storms, meteor strikes, solar activity and alien invasions caused by Global Warming,

The UN General Assembly will create a panel charged with the formation of committees whose responsibility will be to redeploy all military personel from any and all activities they may be currently engaged in to fight a global war against Global Warming and to command them in this conflict.

The panel, which from here on shall be known as the Intergovernmental Panel on Committee Compilation for Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Warming or IPCCCAGW, will be composed of appointed politicians from all nations who recognize Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Warming as a serious and real threat. It's duties will include the formation and regulation of committees to lead the fight against global warming.

1) The IPCCCAGW will be required to create two committees but may create as many as it sees fit to carry out the mission of saving Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Warming.

2)The first will be charged with enacting international laws and fines against any corporation and/or individual who could potentially contribute in any way to Global Warming to fund both the IPCCCAGW and its committees.
2a)The committee will be free to exempt any corporation or individual from said fines and laws.

3)The second will be charged with the actual redeployment of all military forces to fight Global Warming.
3a) This committee may declare marshall law in any area it finds to be too polluted and order military action within said area to reduce pollution levels and their sources.

4) Urges all nations to silence any disagreement over the issue of Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Warming as it only serves to hinder progressive policy.
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So...what do you think? Do you love it?

Two words: Hell no.

Roderick Spear
Paradican UN Ambassador

Shame that shit like this gives environmentalists a bad name it's hard to shake off.

-- George Madison
Legislative Director
Quintessence of Dust Department of UN Affairs

Further recognizing that we'll all be dead in five years from Global Warming due to floods, famines, storms, meteor strikes, solar activity and alien invasions caused by Global Warming,

3)The second will be charged with the actual redeployment of all military forces to fight Global Warming.

4) Urges all nations to silence any disagreement over the issue of Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Warming as it only serves to hinder progressive policy.

1st. How is it that we'll die in five years? Experts say it will only start getting extremly bad in 2050.

2nd. How will Global Warming cause alien invasions, meteor strikes, and increased solar activity?

3rd. How is the military going to stop global warming?

4th. That is a serious human rights violation. And a slippery slope.

Conclusion: You know nothing at all about global warming. This resolution is going to fail.

Shame that shit like this gives humans a bad name that's hard to shake off.

So...what do you think? Do you love it?

Has the environmental movement wronged you in some way? Did some event you hold dear get bumped from the venue to accomodate a treehugger meeting? Is Al Gore making dirty phone calls to you at 3 in the morning? Did your partner leave you for a Greenpeace member? At least make your bias clear.

1st. How is it that we'll die in five years? Experts say it will only start getting extremly bad in 2050.
It's better to lie to people and scare them into acting now than to tell them the truth and hope they'll do the right thing when it's appropriate.

2nd. How will Global Warming cause alien invasions, meteor strikes, and increased solar activity?
Again, sometimes it's ok to lie, like when you know what good for people more than they do.

3rd. How is the military going to stop global warming?
By destroying polluting factories and corporations. Also shooting into the air directly overhead. Not even global warming could survive thousands and thousands of bullets being shot at it. What could possibly go wrong?

4th. That is a serious human rights violation. And a slippery slope.
Scientists are always trying hide behind double-blind studies and other controlled studies. How many people must die before radical action is taken?!

Conclusion: You know nothing at all about global warming. This resolution is going to fail.
Oh I happen to know an awful lot about the science of environmentalism. I'm a professional protester.

Let me explain to you how this works. You see, the corporations pollute the world. And then the pollution goes out and the corporations sit there in their, eh in their corporation buildings and, and and see that's, they're all corporationy, and they make money. Mhm.

Whether well-intentioned or not, this is inane.

No. Not just no, but hell no. Did we mention hell no?

- Jinella Agaranth, Ambassador

I was about to tear this proposal to shreds when I got to about the third clause, and realized there is no way anyone is that stupid.

Of course, that's not to say this is funny, either. Although certainly there are bad proposals about environmental iniatives (OOC: And definitley some really bad passed legislation on the enviornment in RL) it doesn't mean the envornmental movement as a whole is idiotic.

Even if Global Warming is wrong (and it's not yet universally accepted), and even if the Earth is just going through a natural cycle, it doesn't mean we should keep on farting toxic gasses into the air. Perhaps whats going on in the world isn't caused, or entirely caused, by pollution...but will we really benefit from halting envornmental iniatives? Can putting all that crap into the air and water really be good for the planet anyway?

Don't label all environmentalists as tree-hugging conspiracy theorist moron hippies. Many of us are intelligent, reasonable people who just like green trees, non-oil covered waterfowl, and air that tastes more pleasent then filtered ass.

Say something intelligent, or at least say something witty. You have done niether, so bugger off.

By destroying polluting factories and corporations. Also shooting into the air directly overhead. Not even global warming could survive thousands and thousands of bullets being shot at it. What could possibly go wrong?Please don't waste the UN's time.

mE n0 st0op33d!

If you think there is something wrong with this wonderful proposal then suggest a change to improve it. All suggestions will be presented to a committee for approval and/or modification before being integrated into the proposal. When it can be agreed upon by the members of the committee the proposal will be submitted.

If you think there is something wrong with this wonderful proposal then suggest a change to improve it.No. But I will point out the blatent illegalities.

Further recognizing that we'll all be dead in five years from Global Warming due to floods, famines, storms, meteor strikes, solar activity and alien invasions caused by Global Warming,Lies and silliness. Real World/Format violation.

The UN General AssemblyReal world violation.

will create a panel charged with the formation of committees whose responsibility will be to redeploy all military personel from any and all activities they may be currently engaged in to fight a global war against Global Warming and to command them in this conflict.UN Army violation, category violation.

The panel, which from here on shall be known as the Intergovernmental Panel on Committee Compilation for Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Warming or IPCCCAGW, will be composed of appointed politicians from all nations who recognize Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Warming as a serious and real threat.Silliness and optionality violation.

It's duties will include the formation and regulation of committees to lead the fight against global warming.Committee violation. You've made a committee to make a committee to create a third committee.

1) The IPCCCAGW will be required to create two committees but may create as many as it sees fit to carry out the mission of saving Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Warming.Terminal vaguery; more committees of dubious value.

3)The second will be charged with the actual redeployment of all military forces to fight Global Warming.
3a) This committee may declare marshall law in any area it finds to be too polluted and order military action within said area to reduce pollution levels and their sources.UN Army violation; category violation.

4) Urges all nations to silence any disagreement over the issue of Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Warming as it only serves to hinder progressive policy.Category violation.

I repeat: Don't waste the UN's time.

Your nation and all its inhabitants are morons and need to be wiped off the face of the earth. This proposal is the worst kind of tripe, and needs to be flushed.

I will not waste my time offering assistance to a contentious ambassador with no grip on reality. The insane are beyond help.

Rang Erman
Advisor
Ambassador Pro Tempore
Really Pissed Off Dude

Hack 1, Left Euphoria 0

Timothy Schmidt
Bob Flibble's PA

Dear Gods, I am forced to wonder how some nations' citizens manage to generate the brainpower needed to climb safely out of bed in the morning, let alone how they are able to appoint ambassadors to the United Nations.

Ambassador Jevo Telovar-kan
Free Lands of Krioval