Cluichstan
08-02-2007, 18:17
(OOC: Sound required for some links.)
Bugles sound from the main doors to the General Assembly Hall, and Cluichstani Defense Minister Sheik Nottap bin Cluich, dressed in full ceremonial robes, strides into the chamber, followed by a squad of white-plastoid-armoured troopers. He makes his way to the podium and stands before the assembly.
Ladies and gentlemen of the United Nations, I am privileged to address you on this most joyous occasion. Today, we celebrate the first anniversary of the founding of the UN Defense Convention (http://z15.invisionfree.com/UN_DEFCON), or as it is more commonly known, DEFCON.
The delegations from the 37 DEFCON member nations (even the one from Chechnya (http://z15.invisionfree.com/UN_DEFCON/index.php?showtopic=36)) rise and applaud raucously, some even throwing high-fives to one another. Sheik Nottap lets them go on for a moment, then quiets them with a raised hand.
Some of you may be new to this austere body, so perhaps some history in order. Nearly a year and a half ago, Cluichstani Ambassador to the UN Sheik Nadnerb bin Cluich made his first attempt to get the United Nations to address the problem of international terrorism and was met with indignant – and dare I say, ignorant – shrieks of opposition. Indeed, the first time his proposal reached the floor of the UN, it failed miserably. A second attempt failed as well, though not as badly. Sheik Nadnerb, however, the determined man that he is, did not waver. Instead, he came to me with the notion of pooling the resources of those interested in furthering international security through the UN. Even though I was half in the bag at the time – I do love my Cluichstani whiskey, you know – I knew right away that it was an excellent idea.
Thus, UN DEFCON was born!
Again, the delegation from the DEFCON member nations in the assembly rise from their seat and applaud, some hooting vociferously. Again, Sheik Nottap settles them down with a calmly raised hand.
It has now been a year since DEFCON’s formation, and it has made quite an impact. First and foremost, the issue which sparked its foundation, was finally addressed by this body, with the passage of UN Resolution #168, the UN Counterterrorism Initiative (http://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_past_resolutions/start=167).
Again, wild applause rises from the delegations from the DEFCON member nations, Cmdr. Chiang of the Federal Republic of Omigodtheykilledkenny even jumping up on her desk and flashing her breasts. Sheik Nottap smiles at her plums, then quiets everyone down again so that he may continue.
But DEFCON didn’t stop there. More recently, DEFCON went on to sponsor a repeal (http://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_past_resolutions/start=187) of the greatly abused World Heritage List (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/World_Heritage_List), which posed a grave threat to international security. Our thanks go out to our Kivistan friends in particular for their fine efforts on that one.
Recently, DEFCON also took up the call to draft a proposal for the prohibition of a UN military (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12087248&postcount=1). While the first attempt at getting one passed failed, we have not given up hope.
DEFCON’s activity doesn’t stop there, though. We are also on the verge of submitting a repeal of the UN Biological Weapons Ban (http://z15.invisionfree.com/UN_DEFCON/index.php?showtopic=190&st=150).
Scattered gasps of horror come from the assembly.
Now, now…we don’t like bioweapons either. But that’s a terribly flawed resolution. Thus, we also have a replacement (http://z15.invisionfree.com/UN_DEFCON/index.php?showtopic=200&st=0) already prepared.
Sheik Nottap quckly quells the beginning of applause with a raised hand.
But there is still much work to be done, such as dealing with the issue of radiological terrorism (http://z15.invisionfree.com/UN_DEFCON/index.php?showtopic=215), and we’re on that as well.
The sheik gives a nod to Mr. Madison, the representative of Quintessence of Dust.
But enough about work. This is a day for celebration!
With that, balloons and confetti fall from the ceiling. A marching band streams in, playing the Cluichstani National Anthem (http://dmeb.net/dveb/sounds/march.mp3), and down the center aisle, a team of pastry chefs push a lavishly decorated cake that stands nearly six feet tall. As the music comes to a close, Sheik Nottap once again leans to the microphone on the podium.
A celebration? Hmmm...a party perhaps? Well…LET’S GET IT STARTED!
Suddenly, the cake practically explodes, as a half dozen CPESL (http://z8.invisionfree.com/Antarctic_Paradise/index.php?showtopic=23) girls burst from inside. Several members of the Cluichstani delegation begin running throughout the chamber, passing out Bob Flibble Bobbleheads, and the leader of the marching band hops up and takes the podium from Sheik Nottap, who proceeds to pull a bottle of whiskey from within his robes and begins to take long generous slugs. The girls and the band leader dance and sing along as the band begins once more (http://www.nightstoneunlimited.com/NSU-MP3s/BlackEyedPeas-LetsGetItStarted.mp3).
But just before the song really kicks in, Sheik Nattop grabs the mic again, shouting drunkenly into it (obviously, he'd already had quite a bit to drink).
Oh, and did I mention we've got a frickin' Death Star (http://z15.invisionfree.com/UN_DEFCON/index.php?showtopic=180)?!?
He then promptly falls over and does a faceplant behind the podium.
Bugles sound from the main doors to the General Assembly Hall, and Cluichstani Defense Minister Sheik Nottap bin Cluich, dressed in full ceremonial robes, strides into the chamber, followed by a squad of white-plastoid-armoured troopers. He makes his way to the podium and stands before the assembly.
Ladies and gentlemen of the United Nations, I am privileged to address you on this most joyous occasion. Today, we celebrate the first anniversary of the founding of the UN Defense Convention (http://z15.invisionfree.com/UN_DEFCON), or as it is more commonly known, DEFCON.
The delegations from the 37 DEFCON member nations (even the one from Chechnya (http://z15.invisionfree.com/UN_DEFCON/index.php?showtopic=36)) rise and applaud raucously, some even throwing high-fives to one another. Sheik Nottap lets them go on for a moment, then quiets them with a raised hand.
Some of you may be new to this austere body, so perhaps some history in order. Nearly a year and a half ago, Cluichstani Ambassador to the UN Sheik Nadnerb bin Cluich made his first attempt to get the United Nations to address the problem of international terrorism and was met with indignant – and dare I say, ignorant – shrieks of opposition. Indeed, the first time his proposal reached the floor of the UN, it failed miserably. A second attempt failed as well, though not as badly. Sheik Nadnerb, however, the determined man that he is, did not waver. Instead, he came to me with the notion of pooling the resources of those interested in furthering international security through the UN. Even though I was half in the bag at the time – I do love my Cluichstani whiskey, you know – I knew right away that it was an excellent idea.
Thus, UN DEFCON was born!
Again, the delegation from the DEFCON member nations in the assembly rise from their seat and applaud, some hooting vociferously. Again, Sheik Nottap settles them down with a calmly raised hand.
It has now been a year since DEFCON’s formation, and it has made quite an impact. First and foremost, the issue which sparked its foundation, was finally addressed by this body, with the passage of UN Resolution #168, the UN Counterterrorism Initiative (http://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_past_resolutions/start=167).
Again, wild applause rises from the delegations from the DEFCON member nations, Cmdr. Chiang of the Federal Republic of Omigodtheykilledkenny even jumping up on her desk and flashing her breasts. Sheik Nottap smiles at her plums, then quiets everyone down again so that he may continue.
But DEFCON didn’t stop there. More recently, DEFCON went on to sponsor a repeal (http://www.nationstates.net/page=UN_past_resolutions/start=187) of the greatly abused World Heritage List (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/World_Heritage_List), which posed a grave threat to international security. Our thanks go out to our Kivistan friends in particular for their fine efforts on that one.
Recently, DEFCON also took up the call to draft a proposal for the prohibition of a UN military (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=12087248&postcount=1). While the first attempt at getting one passed failed, we have not given up hope.
DEFCON’s activity doesn’t stop there, though. We are also on the verge of submitting a repeal of the UN Biological Weapons Ban (http://z15.invisionfree.com/UN_DEFCON/index.php?showtopic=190&st=150).
Scattered gasps of horror come from the assembly.
Now, now…we don’t like bioweapons either. But that’s a terribly flawed resolution. Thus, we also have a replacement (http://z15.invisionfree.com/UN_DEFCON/index.php?showtopic=200&st=0) already prepared.
Sheik Nottap quckly quells the beginning of applause with a raised hand.
But there is still much work to be done, such as dealing with the issue of radiological terrorism (http://z15.invisionfree.com/UN_DEFCON/index.php?showtopic=215), and we’re on that as well.
The sheik gives a nod to Mr. Madison, the representative of Quintessence of Dust.
But enough about work. This is a day for celebration!
With that, balloons and confetti fall from the ceiling. A marching band streams in, playing the Cluichstani National Anthem (http://dmeb.net/dveb/sounds/march.mp3), and down the center aisle, a team of pastry chefs push a lavishly decorated cake that stands nearly six feet tall. As the music comes to a close, Sheik Nottap once again leans to the microphone on the podium.
A celebration? Hmmm...a party perhaps? Well…LET’S GET IT STARTED!
Suddenly, the cake practically explodes, as a half dozen CPESL (http://z8.invisionfree.com/Antarctic_Paradise/index.php?showtopic=23) girls burst from inside. Several members of the Cluichstani delegation begin running throughout the chamber, passing out Bob Flibble Bobbleheads, and the leader of the marching band hops up and takes the podium from Sheik Nottap, who proceeds to pull a bottle of whiskey from within his robes and begins to take long generous slugs. The girls and the band leader dance and sing along as the band begins once more (http://www.nightstoneunlimited.com/NSU-MP3s/BlackEyedPeas-LetsGetItStarted.mp3).
But just before the song really kicks in, Sheik Nattop grabs the mic again, shouting drunkenly into it (obviously, he'd already had quite a bit to drink).
Oh, and did I mention we've got a frickin' Death Star (http://z15.invisionfree.com/UN_DEFCON/index.php?showtopic=180)?!?
He then promptly falls over and does a faceplant behind the podium.