NationStates Jolt Archive

You'll have a hard time beating the real thing. You really will. I've posted warnings covering 8-9 different categories of violation, not even counting the number of violations in each category (branding in EVERY line, for instance, or 22 instances of game mechanics violations).

What the heck. Go for it. See if you can out-stupid the naturally gifted.

Maybe we should have an illegal proposal contest. it comes in two parts. First off, we watch the proposals that are actually submitted, and whoever can find the most illegal proposal wins. Then we have a contest to submit the most illegal proposal we can think of...well, not submit it actually, but still.

Then we can have a contest similar for silly proposals that aren't illegal. The one who can write the silliest (yet still legal) proposal wins a prize.

Maybe we should have an illegal proposal contest.
I like this idea. I like it a lot.

As for the prize ... the winner is exempt from visits from the Cluichistani Friggin' Death Star for one calendar year. I'm sure folks can offer additional suggestions to bolster that one.

I like this idea. I like it a lot.

As for the prize ... the winner is exempt from visits from the Cluichistani Friggin' Death Star for one calendar year. I'm sure folks can offer additional suggestions to bolster that one.

I think I'll enter this contest. It's been a while since I really tested my proposal-writing ability.

I'm in.

Limits?

Hell, why not. I'm in.

not so interested in finding the most illegal, though I'll take a crack at writing one. I don't know that I'll do as well as some of the others who have a lot more practice writing proposals, but it can't hurt to try.

As for silly but not illegal, I actually submitted one a while back, so I don't know if it would count, but here it is:


A resolution to restrict civil freedoms in the interest of moral decency.


Category: Moral Decency
Strength: Significant
Proposed by: Kivisto

Description: The United Nations,

COGNIZANT of the varying education levels available and achieved throughout the UN,

AWARE of the intellectual disparities that can result from such aforementioned variety,

DISTURBED by the lack of education demonstrated by senior officials from many nations,

CONCERNED that enlightened individuals can be caught unawares by the ridiculous requests and statements of the stupid

DESIRING to alleviate the interpersonal stress that can be caused by such exchanges

HEREBY FORMS the UN Intelligence Agency (UNIA), whose duties shall include
i) Designing intelligence tests that are impartial with respect to social status, finances, region, ethnic background, religion, or any other socio-political or economic factor.
ii) Administering said tests and analyzing the results
iii) Ranking individual test results on a scale of "Stupid Moron" to "Hyper Genius"
iv) Creating and maintaining a database of said results
v) Overseeing access to said database by UN members

MANDATES that senior members of national government, including but not limited to national leaders and ambassadors, be subjected to a series of intelligence tests administered by UNIA upon entry into office and once every year thereafter for the duration of their term in office.

DECREES that all who score anywhere from "Stupid Moron" to "Man, What A Fool" on the test be obliged to wear a sign with the words "I'm Stupid" clearly displayed for all to see whenever engaging in any form of discourse involving international participants.

DECLARES that intelligent acts, thoughts, or deeds cannot be expected from any who wear a sign

ENCOURAGES all member nations to ignore foolishness of any kind from one wearing a sign

BANS all officials from, knowingly and purposefully, removing their sign for the purposes of deceiving others about their intelligence until such a time as they raise their UNIA test result to a more acceptable level.

ALLOWS that the sign need not be worn when dealing solely with members of one's home nation.


I'll work on something for the illegal category.

EDIT: Just looked at the full rule set again. This might take a bit.

As under the current 'rules' Bahgum is incapable of writing legal proposals, we shall enter.

This sounds cool.

DISCLAIMER

So it took a little bit of time and shook my nerves excessively to do it. I was physically shaking by the time I was done writing this, and I would seriously consider calling the authorities on anyone who seriously considered submitting this. I strongly advise anyone who is at all sensitive, or impressionable, or cannot take this for what it is (a joke proposal for an illegality contest), to NOT READ IT! It is my fast effort at brreaking every rule we have for proposals, and the easiest one to nail is the grossly offensive part. That is done over and over and over and over again. Once again - what follows is not PG-13. It is not for your children to read. I wouldn't advise it for many adults. It is emotive, expositional, tripe intended to be harsh, offensive, stupid, and illegal. This pushes the bounds of free speech in some countries. The following opinions are not those of the author, nor of anyone else mentioned in the text. This includes the Game Moderators, who had NOTHING to do with the creation of this. I hope that those who do continue on to read the following JOKE proposal are capable of taking it for what it is and nothing more - a contest entry. You have been warned. May whatever gods there are have mercy on my soul.


Category: Global Disarmament
Strength: Significant

Authored by: Kivisto

Whereass UNR#144 "Repeal Gay Rights" shall be stuck oot and rendred nul and viod;

Because those bleeding ass faggots don't deserve no nevermind god-forsaken rights. George Bush has it right. He knows the score. Yeah. First they gets the vote and the chance to marry, next thing you know they're quiffing on your kids and changing them all homo. With Patient Right Act, Sexual Freedom, That there Couter terror thingymahooch, and what all, we don't need to be granting them no repeal of stupid gay rights anyways. Its all taken care of. What we really need to do is put together a UN committee that will watch out for instances of Quifferry to stomp it out. We should have it staved by at least one member from each of the authors of this porporosal, as well as each of the Game Moderatores, that way, if they see a nation not abdicating by this, they can boot thenm from the UN, maybe even DEAT their nation. We should even give them some troops. Some kind of UN Special Ops types that can patrol around and shoot them fucking ass mongers on site. Especially the black ones. wOOt. Shoot em all. YEAH! Everyone can give troops to this force of antiquiff. Except them fartassed capitalist. In fact, they should all be ousted from the UN and put under trade sanction. Let's do that. And while we're at it, wee're gonna add on to Rights and Duties of UN Folk that Every citizen of every nation in the UN and out has to pay 10% of their gross income to the UN to help cover our overhead. My momma always told me when I was a little girl that there are only fore things certain in life; death, taxes, every greek song will eventually speed up; and too chikletts. I also saw that on Just for laughs a few years back. So we'll either kill themm, tax them, make em listen to shitty greek music or give them chiclets. Yeah. And well also make it so that People can't fuck deacd things either. That's almost as bad as dude on dude action. Lesbians is cool though. We should have some of them in every hosesold. A quiff in every grave and a dyke with some pot. Pot should be legal anyways I don't get the big fucking deal about it. It 's just pot. get over it. Patient rights act says that they can have medical maryjane anyways so we'll let them have it for fun why not? The Mods already told me this was cool, so we should do this. I'm going to be a mod soon anyways so if you oppose this I DEAT your fucking nation as soon as I get the chance, you fucking capitalist pigs. I'll boot you all from the UN and declare war on you with the UN Marines that we got from this proposal. EAT IT!

co-authored by: Maserrati, Puppet Carrots, The Most Glorious Hack, Carman SanPueblo, and my mom

to count all the illegalities:

Mechanics: It makes the mods do more work in deleting of nations after booting them from the UN as well as taxing non-UN nation

UN Army: Creates a special troop controlled by a UN committee

Idealogical Ban: Would boot all capitalist nations from the UN

Metagaming: would have the commitee staffed by 'Game Moderators' to give it extra power

Commitee: would be staffed by specific nation members instead on UN gnomes

Format: All done as a rant with no real format at all.

RL Violation: Mentions George Bush, and a RL TV show

Category: Whatever this is, it isn't Global Disarmament

Repeal: It's trying to be a repeal, although not in the repeal category. It's attempting to repeal a repeal, and it introduces new legislation

Amendments: It attempts to amend the Rights And Duties Of UN Nations

HoC: It uses other resolution as the basis for almost every argument. Falsely and foolishly, but nonetheless

Strength: It says a bunch of stuff, but mandates nothing. Significant this is not.

Jokes: The whole thing is one big joke, especially since it was for a contest

Grossly Offensive: If you aren't at least somewhat offended by this, you should seek help

Bloody Stupid: If you just read it, you won't argue this one

Duplication: It tries to duplicate Outlaw Necrophilia for some unknown reason

Contradiction: It contradict itself, along with UN Taxation Ban, and possibly a few others

Branding: five different co-authors

A BRAND NEW ILLEGALITY OR TWO

Not sure what to call them, but I claim false things about the mods, claim that one of them co-wrote this (when he did not) and claimed that I would soon be a mod, which is not the case. Excessive lying, along with threatening the entire GA in the proposal has to be worth something.

Something in the vicinity of 20 different violations or so, without counting how many times each one appears. I may missed a few, but I tried to nail every single one in the rule set that is currently binding.

I'm so very sorry for being able to do that. I think I need to go shower.

I'm in. I've already got two rules thought of I can easily break. Are they going to be judged on individual counts, or in one-rule, one-count? Is silliness going to be involved? Are the rules of grammar included?

How about this, the winner wins one nuke that can destroy the RL city of New York, New York, U.S.A. Oh, and instead of saying that the death star can't hit us, we make it our region. That should make people a little more safe. I personally would hate to see my neighboring country, oh wait I don't have one! well if I did, I'd hate to see it eliminated for something I did!

P.S., will you add violations if we are redundant, add smilies, and/or add color as those aren't allowed in real proposals.

to count all the illegalities:

Mechanics: It makes the mods do more work in deleting of nations after booting them from the UN as well as taxing non-UN nation

UN Army: Creates a special troop controlled by a UN committee

Idealogical Ban: Would boot all capitalist nations from the UN

Metagaming: would have the commitee staffed by 'Game Moderators' to give it extra power

Commitee: would be staffed by specific nation members instead on UN gnomes

Format: All done as a rant with no real format at all.

RL Violation: Mentions George Bush, and a RL TV show

Category: Whatever this is, it isn't Global Disarmament

Repeal: It's trying to be a repeal, although not in the repeal category. It's attempting to repeal a repeal, and it introduces new legislation

Amendments: It attempts to amend the Rights And Duties Of UN Nations

HoC: It uses other resolution as the basis for almost every argument. Falsely and foolishly, but nonetheless

Strength: It says a bunch of stuff, but mandates nothing. Significant this is not.

Jokes: The whole thing is one big joke, especially since it was for a contest

Grossly Offensive: If you aren't at least somewhat offended by this, you should seek help

Bloody Stupid: If you just read it, you won't argue this one

Duplication: It tries to duplicate Outlaw Necrophilia for some unknown reason

Contradiction: It contradict itself, along with UN Taxation Ban, and possibly a few others

Branding: five different co-authors

A BRAND NEW ILLEGALITY OR TWO

Not sure what to call them, but I claim false things about the mods, claim that one of them co-wrote this (when he did not) and claimed that I would soon be a mod, which is not the case. Excessive lying, along with threatening the entire GA in the proposal has to be worth something.

Something in the vicinity of 20 different violations or so, without counting how many times each one appears. I may missed a few, but I tried to nail every single one in the rule set that is currently binding.

I'm so very sorry for being able to do that. I think I need to go shower.

http://209.85.12.232/7474/111/emo/xptdr.gif Give him the medal! BAH HAHAHAHA!

If you aren't at least somewhat offended by this, you should seek help
I'm not offended. I just know when jokes are jokes. Bah ha! This was great.

I'm not offended. I just know when jokes are jokes. Bah ha! This was great.

That's what I was hoping somebody would say. Personally, I think the disclaimer is a little overblown, but there are some sensitive types out there that I'd rather not overly offend over a contest.

That's what I was hoping somebody would say. Personally, I think the disclaimer is a little overblown, but there are some sensitive types out there that I'd rather not overly offend over a contest.

Brilliant! :D

One problem, though. You've used proper capitalisation and punctuation. The author of such a proposal would never do that. :p

I don't want to enter, I just want to make this one perfect. Could you put in some cut-and-paste or Wiki links?

The tax detail might count as micro-management (which isn't illegal, but usually gets yelled at), so that's a plus.

I don't think you have the overt Nat-Sov argument yet -- the one that goes, "you should repeal this because it violates my nation's sovereignty". But, I admit, I may have missed it, as I kept on having to stop reading.

Because I was so shocked, naturally, not because I was laughing so hard my glasses misted up.

I like this idea. I like it a lot.

As for the prize ... the winner is exempt from visits from the Cluichistani Friggin' Death Star for one calendar year. I'm sure folks can offer additional suggestions to bolster that one.

I'll agree to that. :D

Well, this was all my idea, so I guess I have to enter.

All right, here goes:


A resolution to increase democratic freedoms.


Category: The Furtherment of Democracy
Strength: Mild
Proposed by: Myrth

Description: It's about high time we repealed "Working Rights." Seriously, what does this proposal do, anyway? The Frozen Republic of Ice Hockey Players is in agreement with The Mighty Morphin' Power of Myrth that it's high time we outlawed this socialist proposal as well as all their other terrible ideas, like helping people. In order to enforce this, we need to create a committee staffed by eleventeen UN delegate nations that will serve for a term of four hours each. Each delegate may be re-elected negative twelve times. Votes will be cast by citizens of Ice Hockey Players' brewery district between the house of 12:37 AM and 11:35 PM Eastern Standard Time so our citizens can watch "The Tonight Show" in peace. The committee will be in charge of recruiting members for an international military force; if recruitment quotas cannot be met, citizens will be drafted forcibly from non-UN member states and forced to serve honorably under penalty of being drawn and quartered, after which they will be forced to appear on Rush Limbaugh's radio show. However, they can leave after the commercial break so as not to constitute cruel and unusual punishment.

At the same time, it's about high time we introduced an organization for all those states that can't be arsed to join the UN. We'll call them The Other United Nations and we'll make their logo out of that comic that depicts Muhammad as a suicide bomber. That was some funny shit. It's funny 'cuz it's true. Hey, if they're dumb enough to blow themselves up in public squares over some ridiculous idea of seven wives and 70 virgins (and who wants that many inexperienced bimbos and nagging bitches anyway? Maybe they got that fantasy mixed up with Hell) then the least we can do is make fun of the dumb sand people. Oh yeah, and great work by Hezbollah. Manage a draw against Israel and call it a victory. Well, it's about the best you incompetent fucks can do. So yuk it up; Uncle Sam's about to drop Wal-Mart, McDonald's, and Desperate Housewives on your countries, and there isn't a damn thing you idiots can do about it.

But I digress. Anywho, where were we? Oh yeah. What we ought to do, and you may recall that this was referenced in Resolution #146 (Workplace Safety Act), Resolution #149 (The Right to Form Unions,) Resolution #175 (Individual Working Freedoms), Resolution #59 (the 40 Hour Workweek), Resolution #134 (Rights of Neutral States), Resolution #22 (Outlaw Pedophilia), Resolution #78 (Repeal "Fight the Axis of Evil"), and Resolution #186 (Toy Poodles for Pasta Lovers), we declare that we are prepared to answer the question proposed by the all-important "Working Rights", thereby making it a wise move to repeal it. It asked the most important question ever asked. It's not "Why are we here?" or "Is there a God?" or "Could Superman Outrun The $6 Million Man?" It asked, appropriately, "Does poop really smell?" Thanks to years of scientific research and the repeal of Resolution #101 (Right to learn About Evolution), we are finally able to answer that question. Many thousands of years of research have been put into answering that very question, "Does poop really smell?" And finally, we have come to the conclusion - there is only one answer to that question. And that answer is, simply, "My cat's breath smells like cat food." That is all.

But you know what? I'm not satisfied yet. We need to implement the following reforms.

First off...

We need to add a few things to "Fair Sentencing Act," Resolution #180. Certainly we need to put a clause in there about those who do the electric boogaloo in the middle of highways. Those people should be smacked across the knuckles with a rubber chicken no less than zero times by certified Rubber Chicken Technicians who must have a Ph.D. in Astrology and be able to speak fluent Chinese and write sequels to Shakespearean plays in Pig Latin.

We need to reiterate the principles of Resolution #167, "International Emergency Number," in that calling 112 will result in an emergency technician being dispatched to the premises. This cannot be stressed enough, and it should be shouted from the rooftops every 15 minutes in every major city. If a city has no rooftops, the tops of cars or burning couches will do just fine.

Also, while we're at it, all of you UN member states need to take your nuclear weapons and give them up. Get rid of all of them. Only I should have nuclear weapons. And we need to take them from non-UN states as well, preferably through bribing them with pencil shavings, as I am of the very expert opinion that most non-UN states believe that pencil shavings are legal tender.

I would also like to thank The Rogue Nation of Flibbleites for all of the above ideas; hopefully, Flibbleites won't mind me using some of his/her/its precious ideas, even if I didn't really ask first. Oh yeah, and we need to make a provision here that the provisions of this resolution should be distributed via telegram to every UN delegate every 25 minutes exactly and to every UN delegate serving on the Council of Eleventy every 13 minutes exactly. We must also post it to every region, regardless of how many UN members it has, every 38 minutes exactly. Those who fail to uphold this rule will be ejected from the UN and will have their cities reduced to rubble by bowling balls.

4n% r5#3 v10#4710n 1n 7h1$ r3$0#5710n 1$ p5r3#% (01n(1P3n74#. 1 4m 4n 5p$74nP1n9 m3mb3r 0 7h3 5n173P N4710n$, 4nP 4n%0n3 (#41m1n9 1 br0|{3 4 r5#3 1$ 1n 4 (0n$p1r4(% 4941n$7 m3. 7h47 0r 1 j5$7 m4P3 4 m1$74|{3. B57 7r57h b3 70#P, %05 P0n'7 h4v3 70 0##0w 4n% 0 7h3$3 r5#3$ 1 $37 0r7h. P0 wh473v3r %05 w4n7 w17h 7h1$ r3$0#5710n. |{33p "W0r|{1n9 R19h7$" 4r05nP. 1 P0n'7 (4r3. Wh47 w3 r34##% n33P 70 P0, 7h059h, 1$ 70 b4n 7h47 p5rp#3 $m1#3% w17h 7h3 q53$710n m4r|{$ 4b0v3 17$ h34P. 7h47'$ 700 1n$4n3, 4nP 17'$ n07 r34#1$71(. N0 0n3 h4$ q53$710n m4r|{$ 4b0v3 7h31r h34P.

This is all. Remember, if you don't like this resolution, you don't have to follow it. It's just a UN resolution; we all know these things are optional anyway.

How is this illegal? Let me count the ways...

Game Mechanics - check, introduces second UN

UN Military - check, and it even has a draft

Ideological Bans - check (socialism)

MetaGaming (fourth wall) - check (drafting from non-UN states)

Committees - check, just because delegates serve on a committee for terms of four hours each

Optionality - check (I said you don't have to follow it)

Format - check, one paragraph is written in 1337speak. For the curious, here's the translation:

Any rule violation in this resolution is purely coincidental. I am an upstanding member of the United Nations, and anyone claiming I broke a rule is in a conspiracy against me. That or I just made a mistake. But truth be told, you don't have to follow any of these rules I set forth. Do whatever you want with this resolution. Keep "Working Rights" around. I don't care. What we really need to do, though, is to ban that purple smiley with the question marks above its head. That's too insane, and it's not realistic. No one has question marks above their head.

RL references - check, including The Tonight Show and Rush Limbaugh

Category violations - check, a Repeal is introduced as Furtherment of Democracy

Repeals - check, I did just try to repeal a non-existent resolution and introduce new legislation (for the curious, the non-existent proposal I am repealing can be found through this link:

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11661358&postcount=3323

Needless to say, it's a silly proposal from the thread that inspired this contest.)

Amendments - check, I just HAD to amend "Fair Sentencing Act", not to mention I used something inane

House of Cards - check, it refers to many resolutions, including one that has nothing to do with workers' rights, one that was repealed, and one that doesn't exist and probably would be declared illegal if it were proposed

Strength Violation - check, this definitely isn't mild, though I did say you don't have to follow it

Jokes - check, "eleventeen" delegates serve for terms of four hours and can be re-elected negative twelve times

Grossly Offensive - check, it trashes Muslims ad nauseam (I didn't like to do that, but at least the worst slur I used was "sand people" and that's at least passable as a Star Wars reference)

Bloody Stupid - check, I had to include "My cat's breath smells like cat food" somewhere

Honest Mistakes - check, I did claim all rule violations were accidental

Duplication - check (International Emerency Number)

Contradiction - check, telling people to give me their nuclear weapons violates "Nuclear Armamants"

Branding - check (Myrth, of course)

Pimping - check, I did require that the resolution be posted everywhere ad nauseam

Stealing - check, I said I stolen it from Flibbleites, but I mainly picked his name at random as the victim and I actually came up with this idea on my own. Honest.

Piling on illegalities isn't going to cut it against some of the UN's real (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/Tindalos/Random/twofer.jpg) gems (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/Tindalos/Random/DUMB.jpg).

Piling on illegalities isn't going to cut it against some of the UN's real (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/Tindalos/Random/twofer.jpg) gems (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/Tindalos/Random/DUMB.jpg).

No offence Hack, but your links suck! :p They're illegible.

Piling on illegalities isn't going to cut it against some of the UN's real (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/Tindalos/Random/twofer.jpg) gems (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v251/Tindalos/Random/DUMB.jpg).

I thought about just posting something succinct, insane, and just plain silly, but I also set aside a goal with that proposal - I set out to break every single UN proposal rule. I imagine I forgot a couple, but I came close.

Alright, at the suggestion of some, I have modified my repeal of a repeal, and added in a heavy Nat/Sov line, screwed with the spelling and punctuation and capitalization, and added a couple of wiki links. Believe me, going to wiki, even for this, made me hang a little. Just ask Disco


Category: Global Disarmament
Strength: Significant

Whereass UNR#144 "Repeal Gay Rights" shall be stuck oot and rendred nul and viod;


Becuz those bleeding ass faggots don't deserve no nevermind god-forsaken rights George Bush has it right. he knows the score. Yeah. First they gets the vote and the chance to marry, next thing you know they're quiffing on your kids and changing them all homo. check it out here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuals .`. theyres even towns named after them fucking knobgoblers http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gays with Patient Right Act, Sexual Freedom, That there Couter terror thingymahooch, and what all, we don't need to be granting them no repeal of stupid gay rights anyways. Its all taken care of. What we really need to do is put together a UN committee that will watch out for instances of Quifferry to stomp it out. We should have it staved by at least one member from each of the authors of this porporosal, as well as each of the Game Moderatores, that way, if they see a nation not abdicating by this, they can boot thenm from the UN, maybe even DEAT their nation. We should even give them some troops. Some kind of un Special Ops types that can patrol around and shoot them fucking ass mongers on site. Especially the black ones. wOOt. Shoot em all. YEAH; Everyone can give troops to this force of antiquiff. Except them fartassed capitalist. In fact, they should all be ousted from the UN and put under trade sanction. Let's do that. And while we're at it, wee're gonna add on to Rights and Duties of UN Folk that Every citizen of every nation in the UN and out has to pay 10% of their gross income to the UN to help cover our overhead. My momma always told me when I was a little girl that there are only fore things certain in life; death, taxes, every greek song will eventually speed up; and too chikletts. I also saw that on Just for laughs a few years back. So we'll either kill themm, tax them, make em listen to shitty greek music or give them chiclets: Yeah, And well also make it so that People can't fuck deacd things either. That's almost as bad as dude on dude action. Lesbians is kewl though. We should have some of them in every hosesold. A quiff in every grave and a dyke with some pot. Pot should be legal anyways I don't get the big fucking deal about it. It 's just pot. get over it. Patient rights act says that they can have medical maryjane anyways so we'll let them have it for fun why not? The Mods already told me this was cool, so we should do this. I'm going to be a mod soon anyways so if you oppose this I DEAT your fucking nation as soon as I get the chance, you fucking capitalist pigs. I'll boot you all from the UN and declare war on you with the UN Marines that we got from this proposal. EAT IT! repealing gay rights steps all over my right as a nation to do this shit for myself, so get rid of that shit


co-authored by: Maserrati, Puppet Carrots, The Most Glorious Hack, Carman SanPueblo, and my mom

Ahem. Apologies in advance.

Do not read if you are squeamish or generally value your IQ.

Title: Ur my Bitch and I'll do you up the ass really hard fuckers

Category: Repeal

So I was walking along one day, and I saw a ****** and a spick and a chink beating the shit out of each other, which is good because those fuckers need it. (National Sovereignty) Sus madres son putas y pendejos, no? (National Sovereignty) Anyway, I figured I'd found the best way of getting rid of those dirty fuckers. (National Sovereignty) What we could do is have them all fight each other in big arenas with animals and shit (not like there's a lot of difference between them and Muslims and niggers anyway) just like the Romans did. (National Sovereignty) Let's throw all the dumbass Christian shitheads in there too, maybe torture them beforehand, just like their dear and fluffy Lord was. (National Sovereignty) They'd probably enjoy it, the sick little assholes with those huge logs rammed up them, cumming like their Lord in the "End Times". (National Sovereignty) Let's get George Bush in there first, let him see how he likes being fucked over like he's done to so many decent Americans by pandering to the liberal retards with their politically-correct bullshit. (National Sovereignty) Hell, let's throw the liberals in the arena too. (National Sovereignty) Make sure they get up close and personal with all those animals they like to protect. (National Sovereighty) A good lesson for the little pussies, if you ask me. (National Sovereignty) So here's the deal.

REMINDS you stupid little pricks of the precedents here, resolutions 1 through 500, which prove that you're all a bunch of retards.

BANS communism and socialism and liberalism and Islam and Christianity.

(National Sovereignty)

SENTENCES all the fuckers that believe in that shit to death in the arena, and to have their dicks cut off since they have no balls and can't use them anyway.

(National Sovereignty)

PARLEZ-VOUS Francais but hates the Froggies and sends them to the arena too.

ESTABLISHES Bantu as the official UN language.

(National Sovereignty)

ESTABLISHES a UN Army, Navy, Air Force, Space Program, and MineShaft Production facility to round up all the aforementioned fuckwads and get them to the arena to die so we can protect our precious bodily fluids and deny them our essence.

CREATES a committee with a funny acronym led by all my puppet nations to decide whether or not all you fluffy bastards sitting in your parent's basement whining about the state of the world deserve to live.

(National Sovereignty)

TAKES all the tax income from all UN nations and all citizens of those nations and creates a fund to finance the UN military.

(National Sovereignty)

REPEALS all those fucking feel-good hippie-shit resolutions that have come before.

(National Sovereignty)

FIRES the UN Moderators, those humorless asshats.

DECLARES that all UN Delegates are deleted and regions removed from the game to make room for a One World Order led by me.

SAYS that this is pointless anyway because we all know you don't really have to follow stupid UN resolutions, so I know you pie-fucking sheep can just do whatever you want anyway.

REQUIRES that all UN nations read this proposal anyway.

PROHIBITS the UN from legislating ever again.

Co-authored by Pope Hope, Myrth, and [violet], and authorized by Maxx Berry himself.

PS. -- Check out this article on sex toys.

A sex toy is any object or device that is primarily used in facilitating human sexual pleasure. This term can also include BDSM apparatuses. The most popular Sex Toys are designed to resemble human genitals and can be classified as vibrating or non-vibrating. Sex toys usually do not include contraceptives, pornography, or condoms.

A related "softer" term is adult toy. Another related term is marital aid, often used as a euphemism for sex toys, although marital aid is broader as it can also be applied to drugs and herbs marketed as supposedly enhancing or prolonging sex.

Contents [hide]
1 Legal issues
2 Types of sex toys
2.1 Penile toys
2.2 Vaginal / Clitoral stimulation
3 Medical devices sometimes used as sex toys
4 Flesh-like materials used in sex toys
5 References and further reading
6 See also



[edit] Legal issues
In many areas, such as some U.S. Southern states, the sale of sex toys is either regulated or prohibited, though enforcement is rare. Nonetheless the laws are on the books and these laws prohibiting or regulating "obscene devices" occasionally take center stage. As recently as 1999, an assistant attorney general in Alabama commenting on a case involving sex toys and discussing to what end the devices are used was quoted as saying there is no "fundamental right for a person to buy a device to produce orgasm". It is also common practice for someone to move a motor home near a proposed sex shop[citation needed] as a means of protest to prevent the shop from opening where the law prohibits an "adult" establishment within a certain distance of a dwelling.


[edit] Types of sex toys

[edit] Penile toys

A penis sleeve"Pocket pussies" or "vaginas" or "masturbators" are modeled to accept a penis for simulated intercourse. They can be shaped like vaginas, anuses, or anything with a hole for penetration.
Cock rings in their most basic form enhance and prolong a man's erection by keeping blood inside the penis. A man may wear a cock ring because he has erectile difficulties, or because he likes the particular sensation of tightness and engorgement that wearing one provides. Some models include a protruding clitoral stimulator, designed to tickle the clitoris during sex. Others vibrate, either vibrating the ring itself, or in a popular 'Dolphin' variant using two removable bullet vibrators to provide stimulation to the testicles and clitoris. Some cock rings have vibrators attached which can be worn to stimulate a partner during sexual intercourse, especially in the scrotum or perineum.
A triple crown is a cock ring that has additional rings for restraining the testicles. In orgasm, the testicles usually retract towards the body before ejaculation. A triple crown changes and intensifies the sensation of orgasm by forcing the testicles to stay away from the body.
A cock harness is a more elaborate harness designed to be worn around the penis and scrotum. Its intention is similar to that of a cock ring. Often associated with BDSM activities such as cock and ball torture.
A ball lock is an ordinary padlock fastened around the male scrotum, separating the testicles away from the penis and not removable except by key or combination.
A penis sleeve is a cylindrical device that is placed on the shaft of the penis, with the aim of increasing stimulation for the person being penetrated. They often have soft bumps intended to provide further stimulation.
A hand teddy is a miniature piece of women's lingerie that is worn on the dominant hand.
A penis extension is a partially hollow device like a very short dildo, with the hollow end placed on the end of the penis, intended to increase the effective length of the penis, again for the benefit of the person being penetrated. These are generally worn with condoms to stop them falling off in use.
A docking sleeve is a cylindrical device similar to a penis sleeve, but is open at both ends, so that two men can dock.

[edit] Vaginal / Clitoral stimulation

A type of vibratorThe rabbit vibrator of which there are 100s of variations is without doubt the most popular ladies sex toy in the world [citation needed]popularised by the televsion series sex and the city. It comprises of an insertable shaft which often has additional functionality, such as rotation and internal beads or a thrusting action. Attached to the shaft is a vibrating clitoral stimulator. For most rabbit vibrators this comes in the form of "bunny ears" which sit either side of the clitoris.
A dildo is a non-vibrating device which is used for sexual stimulation of the vagina and/or anus. Godemiche is an old word for a dildo in the shape of a penis and scrotum.
A double-ended dildo is a long, usually flexible dildo with both ends designed for penetration. It allows for mutual penetration between two persons.
Vibrators are vibrating devices intended to stimulate the nerves of the body. Vibrators intended for sexual use are often dildo-shaped, although they also come in a wide range of shapes and sizes, allowing internal as well as external use. Vibrators Usually Measure 5 to 7 inches in length and 1 inch wide to mimick the size of an actual penis. Vibrators to be used for anal stimulation are typically smaller. [1]
Ben Wa balls are hollow metal balls, are inserted vaginally, and can be worn inside the vagina for extended periods of time. The internal rolling is said to enhance orgasms, and enable women with vaginal difficulties to reach orgasm[citation needed].
Kegel exercisers, also known as vaginal barbells, are designed to improve muscle tone in the pelvic floor, and can be used for sexual pleasure as well as enhancing vaginal response.
Glass sex toys are becoming common. These are made from Pyrex glass that provide a very strong solid object. Glass dildos are commonly used with lubrication because this combination offers very low resistance.

A type of glass dildo
[edit] Medical devices sometimes used as sex toys
Medical specula can be used to stretch a vagina or anus.
Medical devices such as Wartenberg wheels and disposable sterile needles are also used in some BDSM practices.

[edit] Flesh-like materials used in sex toys
Silicone is soft and lifelike, warms up quickly to body temperature, non-porous therefore easy to clean (with mild soap and water, or boiled for sterilization).
Cyberskin, also known under other brand names, is currently the closest emulation of real skin. This relatively new material is made of silicone and plastic. It is very porous, making it necessary to clean it very thoroughly (with antibacterial soap and water).
Jelly is a cheaper, rubber-based material, quite porous, often translucent. It is sometimes scented to mask its strong rubber odor.
Latex rubber is commonly used. It is cheaper, very porous, but might be allergenic to some people.

______________
And oh yeah. National Sovereignty, you little ****-stabbing sons of motherfucking bitch-ass baby seal-clubbing morons.

Just kidding. :D ROFLMGDAOPIMPYF

FIRES the UN Moderators, those humorless asshats.
Jesus Christ on a pogo stick! You can't do THAT!

Jesus Christ on a pogo stick! You can't do THAT!

Oops. :p

Okay, here we go.




Title: OMG Liek ban ur stupid homofagZ an cOmmieZ

Category: Free Trade
Strength: Significant

Description:

Okhay liek we ShOuld totullY bann homoFagzzz and cOmmies beCuz tehy ur liek totullY gheY. MaN teh homofagZ are ghey.

omg like we Shuld get loats a un nashunns too b/cuz we shuld be votin lots. mods go DIAF lolomgliektehgheyroflcopterlmaobbgwtfomgtehcawkspqr.

we shuld all get frEE DrUgZ and seX.

i like teh cawk.

FREE MUMIA


Good lord, I couldn't go any further. I just got to the end and started gagging.

lolomgliektehgheyroflcopterlmaobbgwtfomgtehcawkspqr.

SPQR? As in, For the People and the Senate of Rome?

A resolution to increase democratic freedoms.


Category: The Furtherment of Democracy
Strength: Mild
Proposed by: Dick Cheney's Rifle

Argument: RESOLVED, that people should be allowed to have opposable thumbs.

Either really good or really stupid. Probably stupid with a hint of good. Mmm, stupid.

Er...this is your contest thread. The actually Silly Proposals thread is thattaway.

Ardchoilleans;11917611']SPQR? As in, For the People and the Senate of Rome?

Yes! Someone noticed! You win another cookie!

WTF
OMG
SPQR

Yes! Someone noticed! You win another cookie!

WTF
OMG
SPQR

Not to mention the roflcopter.

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y89/jason_fritch/roflcopter.gif

Er...this is your contest thread. The actually Silly Proposals thread is thattaway.

Hey goofball, I just made that one up. If you couldn't tell the difference between something I just made up and something someone else actually proposed, I must be doing something right. Yay for me.

Hey goofball, I just made that one up. If you couldn't tell the difference between something I just made up and something someone else actually proposed, I must be doing something right. Yay for me.

I wouldn't put it past someone to propose it, but you posted it just like one in the other thread.

I'm gonna have another beer and run along now. :p

I wouldn't put it past someone to propose it, but you posted it just like one in the other thread.

I'm gonna have another beer and run along now. :p

I bet I did. I had to have something succinct and insane. And "Does poop really smell?" was already taken.

Title: The Final Solution

Proposed by: The Fourth Holy Reich

Strength: Blitzkrieg strong.

Whereas we are the master race,

Desiring to fulfill the political dreams of certain historical leaders,

Knowing that Der Fuhrer of the Reich is an Aryan Pure Superman,

We mandate that all other nations be annexed by, governed by, and otherwise placed under the authority of the Fourth Holy Reich.



HA! make it more illegal than that. :upyours:

HA! make it more illegal than that. :upyours:

I already have (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11914526&postcount=21).

I already have (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11914526&postcount=21).


:eek:

:eek:

Yeah. Awful, ain't it? Don't worry, though. Yours was pretty good for a first try. It definitely would get deleted if you submitted it to the UN.

Okay, my entry to the silly, yet still legal, contest:

Ban Bad Things

Civil Rights: Mild

The United Nations,

OBSERVING that bad things are nasty,

BELIEVING that we should get rid of bad things,

ANNOYED that bad things have yet not been bannificated

The United Nations, hereby,

1) DEFINES "bad things" as things that are bad, including, but not limited to, the murder of fluffly animals, pollution, poverty, meat eating, overfishing, television, mobile telephonic communication

2) ILLEGALISES all bad things

Well then, for the "Silly but Legal" contest, I'll enter my toilet paper proposal. Assuming I can find it in the Silly Proposal thread.

EDIT: Found it finally
Toilet Paper Roll Hanging
Category: Political Stability
Strength: Strong

Description: NOTING that toilet paper roll are often hung any which way,

REALIZING that nations would benefit from a standard method of toilet paper roll hanging,

REQUIRES that all toilet paper rolls hung in UN member nations be hung with the paper coming over the top.

I'll follow Flib's lead and bring up something I've already posted in another thread. This is about the stupidest thing I've ever written. No-one mention Banishment Ban, please.

Ban Heater Hoggers.

(category) Spoilt Cats

(strength) Nukes may be necessary

Noting winter mornings have the potential to be very cold.

Further noting the necessity of using artificial sources to heat homes, and warm the occupants therein, when temperatures drop to an uncomfortable level. These sources may include, but are not limited to, electric heaters, oil heaters and open fires.

Believing humans, and/or other sentient beings, deserve to get the lions share of the heat output from these sources without fat black cats lying on the floor right next to them and soaking up most of said heat.

Demands action be taken so all people have the right to remove these warmth sponges without prejudice, threats from animal cruelty groups and/or attacks from cat armies and/or meow ins from feline protest groups and/or copping “the look” from the guilty party.

Mandates all sentient beings have the right and power to relocate fat black cats away from heat sources, using reasonable force if necessary.

Stating it is time we all banded together and reclaimed our heaters from these heater hoggers.

Maybe I'll enter in the silly portion as well. Just have to get a good idea for one.

Just thought of another offering for the 'silly' catagory while reading some old news stories. A morals crusader woman in RL Brisbane tried to really do this in the late 70s (not exactly as I've written it, but close). She was laughed down of course at the time, but did get a small amount of support.

Cover the rude bits.

Catagory: Moral Decency

Strength: Strong

People should have to make their pets wear clothes in public. It is disgusting seeing dogs running around naked with their privates dangling down there for children to see. If animals are wearing pants it will also stop them 'doing it' out in the open in front of everyone, so will improve nations morals.

Benefits of this legislation include new businesses making animal clothes will make profits, governments will make money from fining people who are too lazy to dress their pets, decent people won't be subjected to the sight of naked animals anymore, and no more children will need therapy because of the trauma of viewing their beloved pooch 'going for it' with the dog next door.

Think of the moral decency of your nation, think of the economic benefits, and for petes sake, think of the children.

Ban naked animals now.

My effort:

Outlaw unlicenced Woodchuck wood chucking

Alarmed by the threat posed to human life by woodchucks chucking wood;

Concerned by the enviromental implications of deforestation by unlicenced woodchucks;

Mindful of the historical and cultural traditions of woodchucks, specifically the practice of woodchucking;

Calls for member states to outlaw the unlicenced wood chucking by woodchucks, specifically in public, or in places where life could be endangered by the act of woodchucking;

Calls upon member states to determine how how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood;

Urges member states to permit the cultural tradition of wood chucking by wood chucks within specially designated wood chucking locations;

Urges member states to develop best practices on wood chucking management and enforcement, and to develop solutions to determin how much wood a wood chuck can chuck within a given period.

That's brilliant! I'm almost tempted to write one about pickled peppers now, but I wouldn't want to jump someone else's train. ;)

... Calls upon member states to determine how how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood;

Sorry, we can't. We're too busy. We have to keep on plucking pheasants till the pheasant-plucking's done.

My effort:

Outlaw unlicenced Woodchuck wood chucking

Category: Moral Decency
Strength: Significant

ALARMED by the threat posed to human life by woodchucks chucking wood;

CONCERNED by the enviromental implications of deforestation by unlicenced woodchucks;

MINDFUL of the historical and cultural traditions of woodchucks, specifically the practice of woodchucking;

CALLS FOR member states to outlaw the unlicenced wood chucking by woodchucks, specifically in public, or in places where life could be endangered by the act of woodchucking;

CALLS UPON member states to determine how how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood;

URGES member states to permit the cultural tradition of wood chucking by wood chucks within specially designated wood chucking locations;

URGES member states to develop best practices on wood chucking management and enforcement, and to develop solutions to determin how much wood a wood chuck can chuck within a given period.


That is absolutely brilliant. I could totally see that alongside "Hippos are really quite large" and the Inflatable Gandalf Act.

Also prettified it for ya.

My effort:

Outlaw unlicenced Woodchuck wood chucking

Alarmed by the threat posed to human life by woodchucks chucking wood;

Concerned by the enviromental implications of deforestation by unlicenced woodchucks;

Mindful of the historical and cultural traditions of woodchucks, specifically the practice of woodchucking;

Calls for member states to outlaw the unlicenced wood chucking by woodchucks, specifically in public, or in places where life could be endangered by the act of woodchucking;

Calls upon member states to determine how how much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood;

Urges member states to permit the cultural tradition of wood chucking by wood chucks within specially designated wood chucking locations;

Urges member states to develop best practices on wood chucking management and enforcement, and to develop solutions to determin how much wood a wood chuck can chuck within a given period.

We might just have a new front-runner.

My entry for the silly, but still legal one:


Ban All Laws
A resolution to increase democratic freedoms.

Category: The Furtherment of Democracy
Strength: Strong
Proposed by: Random Czardaian Number 274749201

Description: The General Assembly,

NOTING that one hundred percent of all crimes occur because of laws;

INFERRING that without laws there would be no crime;

THINKING of the children that might be affected by such crime;

ACKNOWLEDGING that some professions are completely based around laws;

ADVISING all practictioners of such professions to go fornicate themselves with iron bars;

HEREBY STRIKES ALL EXTANT LAWS OF UN MEMBER NATIONS.

Approvals: 1 (Czardas)

My entry for the silly, but still legal one:

Still legal? I really don't think a defacto repeal of all UN legislation currently in force is legal.

Still legal? I really don't think a defacto repeal of all UN legislation currently in force is legal.

It's not a repeal of all UN legislation, just national legislation. Or is that not legal either?

Eh... nevermind.

It's probably a category violation ... it probably should be

Category: The Furtherment of Democracy
Strength: Dam Near Infinite

As it should cause all UN nations to instantly become pure anarchies.

It's probably a category violation ... it probably should be

Category: The Furtherment of Democracy
Strength: Dam Near Infinite

As it should cause all UN nations to instantly become pure anarchies.

I'd say Human Rights myself, after all your granting people the right to do anything they want to.

It's not a repeal of all UN legislation, just national legislation. Or is that not legal either?

Eh... nevermind.

UN law becomes part of national law when it's passed. That's kinda the way it works. And since you're getting rid of all national laws...

It's probably a category violation ... it probably should be

Category: The Furtherment of Democracy
Strength: Dam Near Infinite

As it should cause all UN nations to instantly become pure anarchies.

I wouldn't mind that. :)

That's brilliant! I'm almost tempted to write one about pickled peppers now, but I wouldn't want to jump someone else's train. ;)You could always write one about the illicit selling of sea shells in a coastal region by women. :D

You could always write one about the illicit selling of sea shells in a coastal region by women. :D

But permitting them, I hope, to slit sheets? ;)

Just for the fun of it...


The United Nations,

AWARE of the childish nature of many of its ambassadors;

DELIGHTED by the joyful games of children;

WISHING to see national leaders enjoy such games;

CITING such past sentiments as "Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers" to more fully illustrate the point;

EXPRESSLY PERMITS nations to seize control of other nations with an official declaration of Yoinks;

STIPULATES that an official Yoinks can only be declared while the current leader of the Yoinked government is not in the capital city of the nation being Yoinked;

FURTHER STIPULATES that there must be at least one consenting witness to the Yoinkage for it to be official and binding;

DECLARES that unofficial Yoink attempts shall be met with a counter-declaration of Shenanigans;

COMMANDS that nations incurring a count of three(3) Shenanigans against themselves will have their I.G.N.O.R.E. cannons forcibly removed from them until such a time as they learn to play nice with the other leaders.

RECOMMENDS a hearty dinner and a good night's sleep after a long day of playing;

TELLS rouge nations to "get back in the kitchen, bitch, and make me some pie."

DENIES having ever had anything to do with invading Chechnya.

Inspiration comes from the oddest places (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11945440&postcount=9).

Nic-Fit Act

Category: Human Rights
Strength: Strong

Description: The smokers of'a the United Nations,

KNOWING that'a cigarettes are a gift'a from God,

ADMITTING that snuff and'a chaw are a almost as'a good,

DEMANDING that UN busybodies lay'a the Hell off,

SECURES'A the God'a given right of every person to be'a the Pope for a day,

AND the right'a to smoke or snuff or chew'a whenever they'a want,

AND'a whereever they want'a!

Very truly yours,

Father Guido Sarducci

Writing in dialec FTW!

A resolution to reduce barriers to free trade and commerce.

Category: Free Trade
Strength: Significant
Proposed by: Me

Description: Small dogs shall have the right to lick humans' noses in public.

Probably just like my other one, but whatever.

I would like to thank Father Sarducci for his proposal. It looks good to me, and I have taken the Liberty of sending to him a case of Elleltian mentho-raspberry nasal snuff. ;)

Not as silly as some, not as illegal as others, but damn, it's good to get this off my chest ...

Tactical Response to Idiot Frenzy over the Frikkin' Imminent Death Star (the Triffid Act):
A resolution to slash worldwide military spending.
Category: Global Disarmament
Strength: Immensely Significant
Proposed by: Ardchoille, Findhorn and Fundamentally Flawed

WHEREAS citizens of our nations keep looking up at the sky and saying stupid things, such as "They reckon you'd be dead before you even knew it!" and "I heard that if you can see it, it means it's missed you," and

WHEREAS this is costing us heaps in lost production, inattention in academic endeavours, increased use of legal and illegal drugs, alcohol imports, family breakdowns, Test-match defeats and anything else we can get away with blaming Cluichstan for, and

WHEREAS we're not the only ones,

The united nations of the United Nations in General Assembly generally assembled

HEREBY PROCLAIM, ENACT, CONTEMPLATE, MANDATE and INAUGURATE

1. That every UN member nation shall set aside a period of at least 90 minutes each day in which the population shall speculate on aspects of the Death Star, its heirs and assigns;

2. That this period shall be known as Nationally Approved Procrastination Sequences, or NAPS;

3. That the NAPS shall be scheduled as near as practicable to a recently concluded satisfactory meal;

4. That employers shall provide workplace facilities for NAPS to a standard agreed upon after appropriate conciliation and arbitration procedures as established by the NS International Labour Organisation, the foundation of which is being snuck in here where Dr Leary won't notice, and which shall consist of representatives of employers, unions and governments and have powers far, far beyond those of mortal committees;

5. That no person or persons participating in legal NAPS shall be penalised should the NAPS extend beyond the agreed-on period owing to circumstances beyond their control, such as, but not limited to, the discussion of the Death Star diverging into other topics; their partner or partners proposing something more interesting; or the participant(s) falling asleep.

6. Goats. We don't know why, but Findhorn insisted.

Not as silly as some, not as illegal as others, but damn, it's good to get this off my chest ...

Tactical Response to Idiot Frenzy over the Frikkin' Imminent Death Star (the Triffid Act):

I was thinking of writing one forcing all member states to employ a farmboy from a semi-desert region, and stick him in a generic fighter craft to combat such a threat.

As is to be expected with a silly/illegal proposal, the actual point of it was left out:

That any discussion of the frikkin' Death Star outside of the official NAPS periods shall be hereby totally, absolutely, irretrievably forbidden and the offender(s) treated with contumely in perpetua, which, with any luck, is an illegal punishment.

Originally Posted by The Jenova Convention
A resolution to improve worldwide human and civil rights.

Category: Human Rights
Strength: Significant
Proposed by: Sepiroth's Minon

Description: RECONGNIZING the pitiful state of the world.

DEMANDS everyone joins the church of the One Wing Angel. Thats that join will be able to join in reunion where they give up their lives to Jenova so all of mankind can be purified and make a paradise.

ASHAMED at those that don't join. They will be killed without meracy in their sleep in a bloody manner.

EVERYONE must wear Blackrobes with hoods to hide their faces.

PRAISE Hojo!

Co-Written by Sepiroth and Hojo

P.S. Sepiroth can kill you any time he wants to Cloud

This is my contest entry XD

As is to be expected with a silly/illegal proposal, the actual point of it was left out:

That any discussion of the frikkin' Death Star outside of the official NAPS periods shall be hereby totally, absolutely, irretrievably forbidden and the offender(s) treated with contumely in perpetua, which, with any luck, is an illegal punishment.

But you called it the Triffid Act. I was disappointed by the lack of man-eating plants... :(

My entry

JOHN PRESCOTT IS HUGE
A resolution to improve worldwide human and civil rights.

Category: Human Rights
Strength: Mild
Proposed by: Bulgaslavic Russia

Description: RECONGNIZING the fat that John Prescott is huge

STATES that being fat is bad

ASHAMED at the state that he is huge, he is a shame for Britain

MANDATES that John Prescott must become fit within 2 weeks in a Bulgaslavic Russian Consentration Camp

PROVES that this will be very beneficial to the United Nations

ALSO MANDATES that the UN Taxation Ban, the Universal Bill of Human Rights and any bill banning torture shall be repealed

BRINGS Resolution 1, "Fight the Axis of Evil", back into force

AMENDS Resolution 6, "End Slavery", to take into account that John Prescott is Huge and should be a slave

ALSO bans capitalism, religon, Dictatorships and the UN Moderators from the World, nuking their countries and DEATing their nation

ESTABLISHES Bulgaslavic Russia as the only UN Moderator

MAKES Bulgaslavic Russia the President of the World and decides all laws for every country

STATES that this proposal is using rights proposed in every resolution passed, which they all state that Builgaslavic Russia can take control of every nation

BULGASLAVIC RUSSIA is supported by a UN army crated in Resolution 26, and supported by a Secret Service in Resolution 30, and a UN Navy created in 41 and by the UN Police created in Resolution 109

EVERY NON UN NATION must join the UN or be nuked by every UN countries nukes that Bulgaslavic Russia shall have control of

STATES that the Inflatable Gandalf proposal shall become a resolution

ALSO STATING that hippos are really quite large

ALSO that Abortion in fully legal

ALSO BANNING hate speech against Bulgaslavic Russia

ALSO, nukes you


Co-written by the Peoples Rupublic of Bulgaslavic Russia, the United Socialist States of Romanaslavic Britain, and the Free States of Romanavic Cheestopia

P.S. Bulgaslavic Russia rules everyone, OK!

This is my contest entry XD
Sorry, it can't compete with an actual one I deleted recently where the guy declared himself God of All NationStates and required that everyone worship him.

"No big deal, we see a lot of ego proposals," you're probably thinking. This guy "Will" appealed several times, apparently honestly believing that if we made "Willism" the official religion of NS, all the Christian vs Islam vs Judaism vs Everything-sim problems would instantly disappear from the site. He was quite passionate about it, and didn't seem to understand our ruling that it wasn't legal under the rules.

I wish someone had saved a copy.

My entry
Why is this otherwise excellent proposal only 'Mild'?

But you called it the Triffid Act. I was disappointed by the lack of man-eating plants... :(

Dear me, are you saying my proposal had a misleading title? I would never do a thing like that, never ...

It happened on me that this hadn't come up yet, and I can't resist the chance to reuse an old and tired cliche.




Educational Free Trade Marijuana Act

A proposal to slash military spending worldwide

Category: Social Justice
Strength: Boris Yeltsin

Argument:


Nuke Norderia!


Authored, Co-Authored, Proxied, Ghost-written, criticized, plagiarized, and defenestrated by: The members of ACCEL, NSO, UNOG, UN DEFCON, Antarctic Oasis, Union of Independent Nations, International Workers of the World, Iron Felix, the fine folks at Rengazaan Carpet Surplus Stores, Jesus, The CIA, Neville Chamberlain's corpse, Karl Marx's sentient facial hair, the ghost of William Shakespeare's retarded third cousin, and Sheik Nadnerb bin Cluich (TO THE MAXXXX)

Authored, Co-Authored, Proxied, Ghost-written, criticized, plagiarized, and defenestrated by: The members of ACCEL, NSO, UNOG, UN DEFCON, Antarctic Oasis, Union of Independent Nations, International Workers of the World, Iron Felix, the fine folks at Rengazaan Carpet Surplus Stores, Jesus, The CIA, Neville Chamberlain's corpse, Karl Marx's sentient facial hair, the ghost of William Shakespeare's retarded third cousin, and Sheik Nadnerb bin Cluich (TO THE MAXXXX)

He doesn't mean me! He means the other one! I'M NOT BLOODY DEAD! Sheesh, a guy can't even take a couple of days off!

And besides, you've gotta treat corpses respectfully, now. It's not respectful to make them nuke Norderia. They missed their chance. -- Neville NotThatOne Chamberlain.

Get Rid of the un!!!1!

Category: Human Rights
Strength: Significant

Whereby the un is Run By The Gays & we all now Their trying To Mak all ur nations COMNUNITS and pepul are just Leting Them Get Away With it

whereby The un has way to mutch power and its not wright it should dictate to the World What Too Do With they’re one cuntries, even telling nations that Arent Part of the UN!!

Whereby Abolishes the Untied Nations

PS: Do It you now im Right!!!!

;)

Ban argumentless Proposials


Category: Human Rights
Proposed by: The Mushroom kingship

Description:

Argument:

Approvals: 1 (WZForums)

Status: Lacking Support (requires 122 more approvals)

Voting Ends: Wed Nov 29 2006

;)Ban argumentless Proposials


Category: Human Rights
Proposed by: The Mushroom kingship

Description:

Argument:

Approvals: 1 (WZForums)

Status: Lacking Support (requires 122 more approvals)

Voting Ends: Wed Nov 29 2006
The scary thing is, WZ Forums would approve that.

But this is the contest thread, not the one where we post actual proposals from the list.

But this is the contest thread, not the one where we post actual proposals from the list.

The WZForums thing was a joke;)

A resolution to increase democratic freedoms.

Category: The Furtherment of Democracy
Strength: Piddling

Description: RECOGNIZING the need to do something,

FURTHER NOTING that doing something is a generally good idea,

FULLY AWARE that many perfectly good proposals do nothing,

ALARMED that many are afraid of legislation that does something,

THE UNITED NATIONS:

PLEDGES to do something;

REQUIRES all UN member states to do something;

RECOMMENDS that stuff be done for the purpose of doing things;

DECLARES that the spork is the new symbol of the United Nations;

CREATES ten identical committees, each more identical than the others, to do things;

CELEBRATES the accomplishment of the United Nations through its good work;

DECIDES to have a beer.

f

<snipped for brevity>

I really like that one. :)

Originally Posted by Do Something
A resolution to increase democratic freedoms.

Category: The Furtherment of Democracy
Strength: Piddling

Description: RECOGNIZING the need to do something,

FURTHER NOTING that doing something is a generally good idea,

FULLY AWARE that many perfectly good proposals do nothing,

ALARMED that many are afraid of legislation that does something,

THE UNITED NATIONS:

PLEDGES to do something;

REQUIRES all UN member states to do something;

RECOMMENDS that stuff be done for the purpose of doing things;

DECLARES that the spork is the new symbol of the United Nations;

CREATES ten identical committees, each more identical than the others, to do things;

CELEBRATES the accomplishment of the United Nations through its good work;

DECIDES to have a beer.

That clearly has to be the funnest one I've seen. However, I would have to vote against it. I dont like beer...how about vodka and coke instead.:D

I dont like beer...how about vodka and coke instead.:D
OOC: You don't seriously drink vodka and coke do you? *gags*

That clearly has to be the funnest one I've seen. However, I would have to vote against it. I dont like beer...how about vodka and coke instead.:D

We'll see how the rest of the body feels about it. I'd go for a vodka and Coke...or probably a Jack Daniels and Coke actually...

I really like that one. :)

That is a good one. I especially like the spork as the UN symbol. :D

That clearly has to be the funnest one I've seen. However, I would have to vote against it. I dont like beer...how about vodka and coke instead.:D

I think I just threw up in my mouth.

We'll see how the rest of the body feels about it. I'd go for a vodka and Coke...or probably a Jack Daniels and Coke actually...

Much better.

...or probably a Jack Daniels and Coke actually...
How about JD and water? Or better still JD and no water, just ice.

How about JD and water? Or better still JD and no water, just ice.

You can nix the ice if you stow the bottle in the freezer. ;)

Okay, I know its been a while but I have yet to hear of any one actually winning this thing and hell I haven't worked on proposal for a while so lets see if I can write one that is so bloody stupid and Illegal that I could get recognized for something.

Thou Shalt not eat pie on the GA floor.

Submitted by: Some random idiot.
Category: Recreational Drug Use
Strength: Mild

Whereas, Cluichstan has been overly annoying with his comments on pie;

And Whereas, He has stained the carpet with a pie already;

And Whereas, He has refused to share his fucking pie with me;

We the United Nations,

Hereby Mandate that pie shall not be eaten on the GA floor, Nor shall the representatives any nation stain the carpet of the GA chambers with the fruits contained in their pie;

Hereby Mandates that Cluichstan's next reference to pie or pie eating in the Ga will result in the Death Star being blowed up and that nation being deleted;

Further Banns all Capitalist countries from participation in Nation States;

Enforces the wearing of Silly Hats

Creates the Committee for the Promotion of Wearing Silly Hats;

Requires all new UN members watch "The Life of Brian" by Monty Python;

Makes Ellelt Ruler of the UN,

Allows the UN to tax the Be-Jeez-us outta UN member states,

Creates an army of Gnomes for the protection of Our Great leader, and the UN.

Determines that the Great Leader knows whats best and decides to have a vodka and coke.



Sorry for taking the mick out on you Cluich....but I had to work pie in there somehow.

Win? You can't win in this contest. There are only losers here ... and experience tells me the Biggest Loser is probably still out there.

Oddly, Fris, I now have an urge to write a proposal making public nose-picking illegal in UN nations... :D

Win? You can't win in this contest. There are only losers here ... and experience tells me the Biggest Loser is probably still out there.

And most likely that person's proposal is posted here. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=397276)

Sorry for taking the mick out on you Cluich....but I had to work pie in there somehow.

No problem. It was quite funny. You do realise, though, Ellelt, that you're only encouraging me to make more references to pie... ;)

Win? You can't win in this contest. There are only losers here ... and experience tells me the Biggest Loser is probably still out there.

Fris, the whole thing except the last part about apologizing to Cluich for taking the mick out on him was tongue-in-cheek. The only way someone could win a silly/illegal proposals contest is to be an idiot/retard/loser. So almost all of my post was one big joke.

Cluich....I personally don't care about the pie thing (although I did think I could make a funny and illegal resolution out of it)...well I wont until it gets older than my grandmother and let me tell you she is old, just celebrated her 98th birthday a couple of weeks ago, in which case you will have probably stopped because its gotten boring.

Cluich....I personally don't care about the pie thing (although I did think I could make a funny and illegal resolution out of it)...well I wont until it gets older than my grandmother and let me tell you she is old, just celebrated her 98th birthday a couple of weeks ago, in which case you will have probably stopped because its gotten boring.

You missed the whole Sheik Larebil thing, didn't you? That went on long after it ceased to be funny, or even mildly amusing. :p

The only way someone could win a silly/illegal proposals contest is to be an idiot/retard/loser.This worries me, especially when my proposal was so well received. :(

This worries me, especially when my proposal was so well received. :(

It's okay. We still like you. :fluffle:

:p

This worries me, especially when my proposal was so well received. :(

But you have by no means won the contest.

And we kinda still like you.;) :D

So wait...does my "Do Something" proposal actually make me a loser? Ah, fuck it. SPORKS FOR EVERYONE!