NationStates Jolt Archive


Law to Ban Methamphetamine trade between U.N member states

Ca Juana
18-10-2006, 23:32
The drug Methamphetamine is an extremely addictive drug that is associated too but not only too the gay community and younger teenagers of NS U.N member states. Methamphetamine is and extremely addictive drug that causes euphoria and excitement by acting directly on the brain's reward mechanisms. Therefore, this results in the people who take these drugs to become addicts and their brains begin to be destroyed from the drug.

This resolution states that people on Methamphetamine and people who are beginning the process of getting off such a drug are not useful to their U.N member states is such a drug-induced state or through withdrawal.

The creation of the drug can easily be made by using common household products or over-the counter medicines. However through the use of flammable chemicals that are added, fires result that can cause extensive damage that put in danger fire fighters and others in U.N member states.

This resolution states clearly that it believes that U.N member states do not actively produce Methamphetamine, however, in any country that borders others, criminal organizations may freely trade methamphetamine across national borders at a very lucrative cost.

This resolution urges that U.N member states cooperate on a trans-national plan that deals with the cross-border trade of Methamphetamines.

Secondly, U.N member states recognize that Methamphetamines should be banned because of the destructive nature that it causes on the people that use it, and is not an ordinary recreational drug.

Thirdly, a medical body connected to one of the NGO medical organizations created so far for the United Nations member states look seriously at the cost that Methamphetamines have on a social, personal, and economic level.

Fourthly, this U.N resolution may be moulded into U.N member state legislation with regards to the drug trade dealing with Methamphetamines. However, this resolution urges nation states to make tougher laws for Methamphetamine trade alone.

Fifthly, if a U.N member state is actively trading in Methamphetamines this resolution urges that other U.N member states take action against that member state in any action they may so choose.

Finally, if left untouched, this resolution ensures to fellow U.N member states that Methamphetamines will become a major drug problem.
[NS]St Jello Biafra
18-10-2006, 23:39
I stopped reading at "gay community."
Ca Juana
18-10-2006, 23:54
Why? It is not only to the gay community but others as well within the NS community. Can be removed.
Ca Juana
18-10-2006, 23:55
Why? It is not only to the gay community but others as well within the NS community. Can be removed.
[NS]St Jello Biafra
18-10-2006, 23:57
Why specifically mention the gay community? And actually, why mention anything at all without proofreading? Fix up the grammar and I'll take a look.
Ca Juana
19-10-2006, 00:04
Second draft:


The drug, Methamphetamine, is an extremely addictive drug that is used in many NS U.N member states communities. Methamphetamine is an extremely addictive drug that causes euphoria and excitement by acting directly on the brain's reward mechanisms. This results in the people who take these drugs to become addicts and their brains begin to be destroyed from the drug.

This resolution states that people on Methamphetamine and people who are beginning the process of getting off such a drug are not useful to their U.N member states in such a drug-induced state or through withdrawal. Also, the creation of the drug can easily be made by using common household products or over-the counter medicines.

This resolution states clearly that it believes U.N member states do not actively produce Methamphetamine, however, in any country that borders others, criminal organizations may freely trade methamphetamine across national borders at a very lucrative cost.

Article 1:

This resolution urges that U.N member states cooperate on a trans-national plan that deals with the cross-border trade of Methamphetamines.

Article 2:

U.N member states recognize that Methamphetamines should be banned within their because of the destructive nature that it causes on the people that use it, and is not an ordinary recreational drug.

Article 3:

A medical body connected to one of the NGO medical organizations created so far for the United Nations member states look seriously at the cost that Methamphetamines have on a social, personal, and economic level.

Article 4:

This U.N resolution may be moulded into U.N member state legislation with regards to the drug trade dealing with Methamphetamines. However, this resolution urges nation states to make tougher laws for Methamphetamine trade alone.

Article 5:

If a U.N member state is actively trading in Methamphetamines this resolution urges that other U.N member states take action against that member state in any action they may so choose.

Article 6:

Finally, if left untouched, this resolution ensures to fellow U.N member states that Methamphetamines will become a major drug problem.
Ca Juana
19-10-2006, 00:52
Does anyone have any suggestions at all??
The Most Glorious Hack
19-10-2006, 01:00
This isn't the General Forum. It often takes time for people to respond.
[NS]The Wolf Guardians
19-10-2006, 01:57
The drug, Methamphetamine, is an extremely addictive drug that is used in many NS U.N member states communities. Methamphetamine is an extremely addictive drug that causes euphoria and excitement by acting directly on the brain's reward mechanisms. This results in the people who take these drugs to become addicts and their brains begin to be destroyed from the drug.
You do not need to say, "The drug... blah... is an extemely addictive drug..." Remove the first two words of the paragraph, and delete the comma after "Methamphetamine" in the first sentence. Your second sentence in this paragraph is too repetitious of the first sentence, since it starts out by saying, "Meth~ is an extemely addictive drug..." This phrase occurs exactly in the first sentence, and thus the second reference needs to be deleted. The second sentence should begin, "It causes euphoria..." In the last sentence, you should say, "becoming," not "to become." This paragraph is still early high-school quality, even after these changes. There simply isn't enough there.
This resolution states that people on Methamphetamine and people who are beginning the process of getting off such a drug are not useful to their U.N member states in such a drug-induced state or through withdrawal. Also, the creation of the drug can easily be made by using common household products or over-the counter medicines.
It seems awkward to reference the resolution in the first sentence. My opinion is you should change that sentence. The phrase, "...and people who are beginning the process of getting off such a drug..." is wordy and awkward, as well. In addition, the phrase is not really necessary. The first part will do without it. You should avoid beginning a sentence with the word "also." It indicates that it is an unrelated thought, thrown in after the fact. Which, in fact, the last sentence of this paragraph is. You should avoid single-sentence thoughts.
This resolution states clearly that it believes U.N member states do not actively produce Methamphetamine, however, in any country that borders others, criminal organizations may freely trade methamphetamine across national borders at a very lucrative cost.
First, this entire paragraph is a run-on sentence. You should have a period before the word "however." The second sentence is confusing and awkward. I'm not even sure what the relevance of that sentence is.
Article 1:

This resolution urges that U.N member states cooperate on a trans-national plan that deals with the cross-border trade of Methamphetamines.
First, you referenced the resolution from within itself again, and it seems awkward. From an IC standpoint, this needs more detail. What kind of plan? A plan to do what? All you said was "deals" which is far too open to interpretation. This is also another single-sentence thought.
Article 2:

U.N member states recognize that Methamphetamines should be banned within their because of the destructive nature that it causes on the people that use it, and is not an ordinary recreational drug.
You left out a word between "their" and "because" in the first sentence. The phrase, "because of the destructive nature that it causes on the people that use it..." is wordy and awkward. I think it would suffice to say, "...because of its destructive nature on its users..."
Article 3:

A medical body connected to one of the NGO medical organizations created so far for the United Nations member states look seriously at the cost that Methamphetamines have on a social, personal, and economic level.
I, personally, have no idea what "NGO" means. I'd suggest using the full name, not the initials, for idiots such as myself. You forgot a word, probably "to" before the word "look." Something else I've just noticed, and a problem in the entire document, is that "methamphetamine" is not a Word of Significant Importance, and thus should not be capitalized, unless beginning a sentence with it.
Article 4:

This U.N resolution may be moulded into U.N member state legislation with regards to the drug trade dealing with Methamphetamines. However, this resolution urges nation states to make tougher laws for Methamphetamine trade alone.
First, "mould" is incorrect, according to Merriam-Webster. That is a dental aparatus. "Mold" would be correct. Second, as far as I know, the first sentence is actually illegal in the NSUN. A resolution cannot be modified once it has been submitted and eventually passed, and thus the first sentence is completely irrelevant.
Article 5:

If a U.N member state is actively trading in Methamphetamines this resolution urges that other U.N member states take action against that member state in any action they may so choose.
There should be a comma after "meth~", as everything before that is a dependant clause that cannot stand as a sentence in its own right. From an IC standpoint, you also cannot leave the "action" so open. Doing so means that certain insane nations, and there are those here, could nuke their meth-dealing neighbors.
Article 6:

Finally, if left untouched, this resolution ensures to fellow U.N member states that Methamphetamines will become a major drug problem.
This does nothing. At all. It is just a statement, and thus should not be considered one of the articles of this resolution.

My favorite English professor has a rule: make sure everything passes the "So what?" test. You need to go over your entire document with a fine-toothed comb and make sure everything passes that test. The bulk of this resolution is just words; it doesn't actually do a great deal.

That's my analysis. Overall, I'd have to say that this doesn't have a chance at reaching quorum. Delegates usually (er... perhaps "should" would be a better word, there) read the entire thing. If it were to reach quorum, I think even the ReadNothings would be wary of it based on the title alone. Sorry, but I don't think this is going to work. Nice try. I look forward to seeing future proposals from you. We need more people who are willing to come here and actually compose a proposal, rather than just sit their and type "EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE DRUGS!" like so many do. Good night, and good luck.

-Your Capitalistic, MAD-loving, drug-hating, grammar-Nazi'ing pig-dog,
The Author of Wolfgang
Ca Juana
19-10-2006, 03:43
Methamphetamine is a drug that is extremely addictive and causes problems wihin NS U.N member state communities. Some of the effects of the drug methamphetamine is that causes it euphoria and excitement by acting directly on the brain's reward mechanisms. This results in the people who take these drugs to become addicts and their brains begin to be destroyed from the drug. As well the drug also causes other side effects, The acute effects of the drug closely resemble the physiological and psychological effects of an epinephrine-provoked fight-or-flight response, including increased heart rate and blood pressure, vasoconstriction (constriction of the arterial walls), bronchodilation, and hyperglycemia (increased blood sugar).

This resolution states that people on Methamphetamine are not useful to their U.N member states in such a drug-induced state. The creation of the drug can easily be made by using common household products or over-the counter medicines.

This resolution states clearly that that it believes U.N member states do not actively produce Methamphetamine. However, in any country that borders others, criminal organizations may freely trade methamphetamine across national borders so it can be sold to addicts of the drug in U.N member state cities at a very lucrative cost that.

Article 1:

This resolution urges that U.N member states cooperate on a trans-national plan that deals with the cross-border trade of methamphetamines. With this trans-national plan, U.N member state police forces will be able to access information by cutting through the red tap by knowing who are the most successful 'methamphetamine' kingpin on the market.

Article 2:

U.N member states recognize that methamphetamines should be banned within their because of its destructive nature on its users, and should not be considered a ordinary recreational drug.

Article 3:

A medical body connected to one of the non governmental organizations/bodies created by the United Nations member should look seriously at the cost that methamphetamines have on a social, personal, and economic level.

Article 4:

U.N member states if they have similar legislation to this U.N resolution with regards to methamphetamines they can mold their national legislation to the U.N resolution. However, U.N member states can continue with their national laws but this resolution urges them to maintain tougher laws for the methamphetamine trade.

Article 5:

If a U.N member state is actively trading in Methamphetamines this resolution urges that other U.N member states take 'legitimate' and 'sensible' action as assigned by the U.N resolutions against that member state.


Conclusion;

Finally, if left untouched, this resolution ensures to fellow U.N member states that Methamphetamines will become a major drug problem.
Ca Juana
19-10-2006, 03:55
Methamphetamine is a drug that is extremely addictive and causes problems wihin NS U.N member state communities. Some of the effects of the drug methamphetamine is that causes it euphoria and excitement by acting directly on the brain's reward mechanisms. This results in the people who take these drugs to become addicts and their brains begin to be destroyed from the drug. As well the drug also causes other side effects, The acute effects of the drug closely resemble the physiological and psychological effects of an epinephrine-provoked fight-or-flight response, including increased heart rate and blood pressure, vasoconstriction (constriction of the arterial walls), bronchodilation, and hyperglycemia (increased blood sugar).

This resolution states that people on Methamphetamine are not useful to their U.N member states in such a drug-induced state. The creation of the drug can easily be made by using common household products or over-the counter medicines.

This resolution states clearly that that it believes U.N member states do not actively produce Methamphetamine. However, in any country that borders others, criminal organizations may freely trade methamphetamine across national borders so it can be sold to addicts of the drug in U.N member state cities at a very lucrative cost that.

Article 1:

This resolution urges that U.N member states cooperate on a trans-national plan that deals with the cross-border trade of methamphetamines. With this trans-national plan, U.N member state police forces will be able to access information by cutting through the red tap by knowing who are the most successful 'methamphetamine' kingpin on the market.

Article 2:

U.N member states recognize that methamphetamines should be banned within their because of its destructive nature on its users, and should not be considered a ordinary recreational drug.

Article 3:

A medical body connected to one of the non governmental organizations/bodies created by the United Nations member should look seriously at the cost that methamphetamines have on a social, personal, and economic level.

Article 4:

U.N member states if they have similar legislation to this U.N resolution with regards to methamphetamines they can mold their national legislation to the U.N resolution. However, U.N member states can continue with their national laws but this resolution urges them to maintain tougher laws for the methamphetamine trade.

Article 5:

If a U.N member state is actively trading in Methamphetamines this resolution urges that other U.N member states take 'legitimate' and 'sensible' action as assigned by the U.N resolutions against that member state.


Conclusion;

Finally, if left untouched, this resolution ensures to fellow U.N member states that Methamphetamines will become a major drug problem.

OOC: I changed title, I do apologize for all threads, there was something wrongf with my computer.
[NS]The Wolf Guardians
19-10-2006, 05:32
Ah, back for more, eh? Ok, let's dance.
Methamphetamine is a drug that is extremely addictive and causes problems wihin NS U.N member state communities. Some of the effects of the drug methamphetamine is that causes it euphoria and excitement by acting directly on the brain's reward mechanisms. This results in the people who take these drugs to become addicts and their brains begin to be destroyed from the drug. As well the drug also causes other side effects, The acute effects of the drug closely resemble the physiological and psychological effects of an epinephrine-provoked fight-or-flight response, including increased heart rate and blood pressure, vasoconstriction (constriction of the arterial walls), bronchodilation, and hyperglycemia (increased blood sugar).
You still have the odd phrase, "...their brains begin to be destroyed..." in there. Try "causing permanent brain damage" or something else. You do not need the phrase "As well the drug also causes other side effects,..." and it's grammatically incorrect, anyway. Get rid of it, and start the next sentence by saying, "The other side effects of this drug closely resemble..." The medical jargon is a bit overkill, but not harmful to the cause.

This resolution states that people on Methamphetamine are not useful to their U.N member states in such a drug-induced state. The creation of the drug can easily be made by using common household products or over-the counter medicines.
You're still referencing the resolution from within itself, saying that it, an inanimate, nonintelligent item, is stating that. You should say things as though you are speaking for the UN. That's why so many resolutions start out saying, "We, the United Nations, blah blah blah..." And, you say "The creation of the drug can easily be made...", which is redundant. "The drug can easily be made..." would do fine.

This resolution states clearly that that it believes U.N member states do not actively produce Methamphetamine. However, in any country that borders others, criminal organizations may freely trade methamphetamine across national borders so it can be sold to addicts of the drug in U.N member state cities at a very lucrative cost that.
Same thing, you're referencing the resolution again. The second sentence is incomplete, you didn't finish it. You also didn't change the word "cost," which still conflicts with lucrative, I think.

Article 1:

This resolution urges that U.N member states cooperate on a trans-national plan that deals with the cross-border trade of methamphetamines. With this trans-national plan, U.N member state police forces will be able to access information by cutting through the red tap by knowing who are the most successful 'methamphetamine' kingpin on the market.
Resolution self-reference again. You meant to say, "red tape," I believe. The word "kingpin" is a tad too unprofessional. You should say something about "those who are heavily involved in the illegal trade of meth~" or something to that effect, instead of the "successful meth~ kingpin on the market" phrase, and you don't need the single quotes around "methamphetamine," there.

Article 2:

U.N member states recognize that methamphetamines should be banned within their because of its destructive nature on its users, and should not be considered a ordinary recreational drug.
You still left out a word after "their." Otherwise, not bad.

Article 3:

A medical body connected to one of the non governmental organizations/bodies created by the United Nations member should look seriously at the cost that methamphetamines have on a social, personal, and economic level.
Not too bad. You should, however, make it plural, unless you're referring to a specific one. I get the impression you're saying any one, which means you should probably say, "Medical bodies connected to..." Change the phrase "cost that" to 'impact of," and delete the word "have."

Article 4:

U.N member states if they have similar legislation to this U.N resolution with regards to methamphetamines they can mold their national legislation to the U.N resolution. However, U.N member states can continue with their national laws but this resolution urges them to maintain tougher laws for the methamphetamine trade.
Not too good, this time. Let's see how we can say this. How about, "UN member nations are encouraged to maintain stiff penalties towards traders and dealers of methamphetamine, and to expand upon this legislation as they deem appropriate to that end."?

Article 5:

If a U.N member state is actively trading in Methamphetamines this resolution urges that other U.N member states take 'legitimate' and 'sensible' action as assigned by the U.N resolutions against that member state.
There are no resolutions against a specific state. In the NS United Nations, that is. Furthermore, you should avoid "if" statements. Let's try, "Member nations are encouraged to take reasonable action against member states known to be actively involved in methamphetamine trade," or something to that effect.


Conclusion;

Finally, if left untouched, this resolution ensures to fellow U.N member states that Methamphetamines will become a major drug problem.
Unnecessary, really. You shouldn't use one-liner conclusions. It seems, once again, highschoolish. You also shouldn't begin a conclusion with the word, "Conclusion." We know it's a conclusion. You don't need to tell us. You need to either expand on this bit, keeping this sentence at the end, or you need to put this at the end of the text before Article 1.

Nice try, again. Good job following up on my suggestions, for the most part. I'm still obligated to tell you, though, that this simply will not pass. The odds of it reaching quorum alone are between slim and nil. As I said before, I do look forward to seeing your future work.

-Your Capitalistic, MAD-loving, drug-hating, grammar-Nazi'ing pig-dog,
The Author of Wolfgang
-MU-MU-
19-10-2006, 07:22
I feel obligated to point out that what legal trade occurs between two nations should remain just between those two nations. I don't think the international community should put it's oar in where it is not warranted.

Having said that, I'd suggest looking into the international community working together on combatting the illicit trade of such drugs.
Cluichstan
19-10-2006, 13:55
OOC: My eyes are bleeding, and I think I lost 20 IQ points over the course of reading this thread.
St Edmundan Antarctic
19-10-2006, 15:20
The Wolf Guardians;11828385']I, personally, have no idea what "NGO" means. I'd suggest using the full name, not the initials, for idiots such as myself.
First, "mould" is incorrect, according to Merriam-Webster. That is a dental aparatus. "Mold" would be correct.

OOC _
'NGO' = 'Non-Governmental Organisation' (e.g.[1] charity, e.g.[2] pressure group...).
As far as I'm aware, NSUN resolutions are not required to use any specific dictionary (such as I presume the 'Merriam-Webster' that you cite is) as the basis of their spelling, and employing 'mould' rather than 'mold' would be perfectly acceptable in that context in British -- rather than American -- English.
[NS]The Wolf Guardians
19-10-2006, 16:02
OOC: Watch out, Cluich, or they'll ding you for overdraft. LOL, just kidding.

And, I suppose you're correct about the word "mold." I should've used the Wiktionary, since it is multi-national. I tend to use Webster because the URL is very short (m-w.com). And, yes, I'm aware of what an NGO is, since the author changed it as per my first list of requests. It still feels like bad form to use it without having mentioned the full phrase, first. Using myself as proof, there are bound to be some people who don't know what it means.
[NS]St Jello Biafra
19-10-2006, 17:00
I feel obligated to point out that what legal trade occurs between two nations should remain just between those two nations. I don't think the international community should put it's oar in where it is not warranted.

What the hell is the UN's jurisdiction if it isn't International Relations? Even the strictest of NatSovs would concede (I think; please correct me if I'm wrong) that international trade is something in which the UN's "oar" is warranted.