Hitler Cakes
13-09-2006, 17:54
The Holy Empire of Hitler Cakes wishes to propose a bill pertaining to army conscription.
Hitler Cakes wishes to make it legal, if not compulsory, for monkeys and other types of simians to be conscripted to each nation's army that has a conscription policy.
Hitler Cakes recognises the feeling of the Holy Trilateral Simian Council of Elders, may their poo be flung with valour and rigidity, that monkeys feel opressed that they are not being included in the conscription programmes. The Elders would like to point out that monkeys have valuable combat abilities, including but not limited to the flinging of highly corrosive faeces and their "Monkey Rage" ability, which gives friendly units a +4 combat and speed bonus for 60 seconds.
Hitler Cakes demonstrates that the monkeys would be very versatile in jungle combat as they possess the magical ability to communicate with trees. Monkeys also can summon a level 10 fire imp with +2 fireball.
Hitler Cakes understands that each nation would need to acquire many monkey-vital supplies such as bananas, nuts, potions of mana, monoliths and the like, and would be willing to loan other nations its excellent selection of level 20 wizards, who can assist in the crafting of various magical items and can cast spells which aid the monkeys in combat.
Hitler Cakes also recognised that monkeys are extremely expendable and can be used to attack tanks, planes (if they are compacted into a cannon and fired into the air), machine gun posts from the front and can clear landmines.
Hitler Cakes demonstrates that a theory proposed by said wizards exists that monkeys can be send into space and came back highly intelligent. This skill may be valuable for attack plans, and said monkeys may also come back with the ability to conjure a giant blimp with the words "All your base are belong to us" written on it. Said blimp can be used for tactical propoganda assaults and dinner parties.
Hitler Cakes denies all responsibilites over said loaned wizards, including responsibility for huge towers mysteriously appearing in mountains and in the middle of secluded lakes, and the 'broom responsibility' - the responsibilty over the fact that many thousands of little brooms may march out randomly from said towers.
Hitler Cakes
PORK:
Hitler Cakes would like to add pork to this bill.
The Holy Empire of Hitler Cakes wishes to put forth an attached bill called "The Mediuo Bill"
Hitler Cakes puts forth that the principles of Medikak are to help the treatment of the devestating addictions that playing Ultima Online can construct. The proposed Mediuo programme is not limited to sufferes of Ultima Online addiction, and any sufferer can be assessed and accepted into the programme. Examples are sufferers of World of Warcraft addiction, Dark Age of Camelot addiction, EverQuest, Legend of the Green Dragon and any other worthy MMORPG. Mediuo is not limited to MMORPGs, and can be administered to suffers of addictions to games like Counter Strike, Unreal Tournament and other such addictive online FPSs.
The Holy Empire of Hitler Cakes thanks the United Nations for its extremely precious and valuable time, and hopes to make the world a better place with its proposed bills.
Hitler Cakes wishes to make it legal, if not compulsory, for monkeys and other types of simians to be conscripted to each nation's army that has a conscription policy.
Hitler Cakes recognises the feeling of the Holy Trilateral Simian Council of Elders, may their poo be flung with valour and rigidity, that monkeys feel opressed that they are not being included in the conscription programmes. The Elders would like to point out that monkeys have valuable combat abilities, including but not limited to the flinging of highly corrosive faeces and their "Monkey Rage" ability, which gives friendly units a +4 combat and speed bonus for 60 seconds.
Hitler Cakes demonstrates that the monkeys would be very versatile in jungle combat as they possess the magical ability to communicate with trees. Monkeys also can summon a level 10 fire imp with +2 fireball.
Hitler Cakes understands that each nation would need to acquire many monkey-vital supplies such as bananas, nuts, potions of mana, monoliths and the like, and would be willing to loan other nations its excellent selection of level 20 wizards, who can assist in the crafting of various magical items and can cast spells which aid the monkeys in combat.
Hitler Cakes also recognised that monkeys are extremely expendable and can be used to attack tanks, planes (if they are compacted into a cannon and fired into the air), machine gun posts from the front and can clear landmines.
Hitler Cakes demonstrates that a theory proposed by said wizards exists that monkeys can be send into space and came back highly intelligent. This skill may be valuable for attack plans, and said monkeys may also come back with the ability to conjure a giant blimp with the words "All your base are belong to us" written on it. Said blimp can be used for tactical propoganda assaults and dinner parties.
Hitler Cakes denies all responsibilites over said loaned wizards, including responsibility for huge towers mysteriously appearing in mountains and in the middle of secluded lakes, and the 'broom responsibility' - the responsibilty over the fact that many thousands of little brooms may march out randomly from said towers.
Hitler Cakes
PORK:
Hitler Cakes would like to add pork to this bill.
The Holy Empire of Hitler Cakes wishes to put forth an attached bill called "The Mediuo Bill"
Hitler Cakes puts forth that the principles of Medikak are to help the treatment of the devestating addictions that playing Ultima Online can construct. The proposed Mediuo programme is not limited to sufferes of Ultima Online addiction, and any sufferer can be assessed and accepted into the programme. Examples are sufferers of World of Warcraft addiction, Dark Age of Camelot addiction, EverQuest, Legend of the Green Dragon and any other worthy MMORPG. Mediuo is not limited to MMORPGs, and can be administered to suffers of addictions to games like Counter Strike, Unreal Tournament and other such addictive online FPSs.
The Holy Empire of Hitler Cakes thanks the United Nations for its extremely precious and valuable time, and hopes to make the world a better place with its proposed bills.