NationStates Jolt Archive

As is traditional when a new nation joins the United Nations, its delegate is given an opportunity to address the world body. Whether any other delegates bother to show up is irrelevant: the new nation's delegate takes the microphone and the translators work like mad, translating each and every precious word, and complete translations are printed and mailed to each embassy with great solemnity and dignity.

"Good day on this historic occasion. I am here to represent The Most Serene Republic of The Island of Ishtar, the freest, happiest, most beautiful nation on the planet."

A forty-five minute digression about social values, Ishtarian history, and bizarre references to Moon Landing hoaxes ensues.

"And in conclusion, we confirm our commitment to disarmament, non-violence, spiritual hedonism and comfortable progress for all."

"I welcome the Ishtarian representative to this august body, and hope that our nations are able to work together."

Stephanie Fulton
UN Consul for Enn

The government of Telidia welcome The Island of Ishatar the UN. We look forward in seeing their representative during debates and wish them success in their endeavours.

Respectfully
Lydia Cornwall, UN Ambassador
Office of UN Relations, Dept for Foreign Affairs
HM Government of Telidia

The Occasionally Coherent Conclave of Ardchoille welcomes the proud nation of Ishtar, rather chuffed to find that we are not alone in meandering onward (in a spiritually hedonistic fashion) to progressive comfort.

We are sure that your disarming and admirably non-violent introduction will be the first of many similarly enlightening contributions.

-- Dicey Reilly, co-President of Ardchoille.

(Scribbled note handed to Ishtarian delegate: So, when's the party? -- D.)

we wish, just once, instead of a long speech, nations present themselves via pantomine.

It would make a change :)

we wish, just once, instead of a long speech, nations present themselves via pantomine.

It would make a change :)

OOC: "That's the way to do it!" ;)

The Ausserland delegation would like to welcome the representative of the Island of Ishtar to the Assembly. Our offices are on the 7th Basement level, and you're welcome to drop by for a kielbasa sandwich at your convenience. (Look for the "Boiler Room" sign.)

[Luckily, our translating devices seemed to malfunction during the 45-minute dissertation, giving us time for a nice nap.]

Lorelei M. Ahlmann
Ambassador-at-Large

Welcome. Although we deplore your liberal hippiness, you liberal hippies, we are always glad to welcome delegates who take the time to introduce themselves, and are very pleased to see you share our devotion to whacked-out conspiracy theories.

~Lori Jiffjeff
Acting Ambassador
Legal Aide
Minister of Sandy Vaginas
Chair of "Mothers Against Weird Shit"

We welcome this new nation to the U.N. and hope they will prove staunch allies of the cause of advancing progress and international peace and unity across the worlds of the NSUN.

And we congratulate Mrs Jiffjeff on her bluntness, though we don't quite agree with the message.

May the blessings of our otters be upon you all.

Anthony Holt
Deputy Ambassador for the Republic of Compadria to the U.N.

Welcome! We in Ceorana hope you enjoy your stay, and that your economy doesn't get whooped two badly.

[48-minute speech about Ceorana's hope for whatever]

There, that ought to teach 'em!

Oops, is the mic still on?

Robert Bobson
UN Officer

Welcome, new member nation.

[Translated from Interpretive Dance for this transcript]

As staunch anti-communists and socialists my region is firmly arryed against all your ...... blah blah blah.....

4 days, 3 hours 54 minutes 26 seconds later

.....And we hope you have many new and intersting gibbons roaming your fair nation. And that the sexytimes guaranteeded in my region reluctantly spill over into yours and that all free antelope are eaten by aliens.


Welcome

Ja Bless

As is traditional when a new nation joins the United Nations, its delegate is given an opportunity to address the world body.We get to do that? Why doesn't anyone ever tell me these things?

"Good day on this historic occasion. I am here to represent The Most Serene Republic of The Island of Ishtar, the freest, happiest, most beautiful nation on the planet."*Bob begins folding and throwing paper airplanes to entertain himself while being otherwise bored silly.*

A forty-five minute digression about social values, Ishtarian history, and bizarre references to Moon Landing hoaxes ensues.

"And in conclusion, we confirm our commitment to disarmament, non-violence, spiritual hedonism and comfortable progress for all."
Disarmament? Great, another damn fluffy peacenik.:rolleyes:

Anyway, welcome.

Bob Flibble
UN Representative

In a recently converted janitor's closet in the fifth sub-basement of the eastern auxiliary building "B3" of the United Nations' sprawling complex, Halabra the Ishtarian ambassador and her personal assistant Mixie the Intelligent Chimp were trying to wedge a five foot long desk into a four foot by four foot space...

"Curses! If we only used the metric system, surely it would fit!" she said. Suddenly the teletype machine began to clatter and Mixie began to leap about excitedly, hurling the welcoming notes of the other ambassadors into the air and whooping with glee.

Halabra took the faxes and read them all over carefully. "Remarkable! Of the thousands of UN members, eleven actually replied! That's a better turnout than our last election." She fixed a wary eye on the chimp, who settled down at once. "Mixie, send a formal acknowledgement of receipt of transmission to each of these nations, and include a 25% off coupon on Air Ishtar...

"And be sure to send Ambassador Jiffjeff a DVD compilation of our Leader's speeches about the moon landings. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to the Embassy of Ausserland for that free sandwich. Our exchange rate's rather pitiful you know..."

We're looking forward to the visit from Ambassador Halabra. Please let Mixie know he/she is welcome to visit, too. If she/he doesn't care for kielbasa sandwiches, Ambassador Barfanger keeps a stock of bananas in fridge #4. He claims they're a good source of potassium and keep him from getting leg cramps. We suspect he just likes dropping the peels on stairs.

Lorelei M. Ahlmann
Ambassador-at-Large

The Ambassador sends her polite regrets that she has urgent pressing matters to attend to and must decline for the moment the offer of the free sandwich, as we are not sure how Ausserland copyright law may apply to said sandwiches in light of recent legislation.

We do encourage the Principality to send said bananas, provided they are inspected by the UN security task force for harmful substances. :p

Sincerely,
Galadriel McGee
UN Ambassador from the SR of II

Rena walks in and bows dressed in her robes* The nation of Windurst welcomes you Ishtar. May the stars watch over you and guide you to follow your heart where your here. Here have a bottle of Yagudo Merry Wine dated C.A.956 its a nice blend abd i'll sure you'll enjoy it. the wine is non returnable *she dashes off*

Official Message
From The
Ministry of Hospitality


Esteemed Representatives,

I would like to welcome the Ishtarian representative, and wish them luck in the debates and in maintaining their sanity. If the representative did not have a drinking problem before, they probably will after serving their time here. In light of that, we are giving them a case of HotRodia Tequila Gold.

With Respect,

Minister of Hospitality
Sam I Am

Welcome to the UN most esteemed representative of Ishtar. May your proposals be heard clearly and your input deemed important.


Prime Minister of Jacobic
UN Member

Welcome, Noble Galadriel McGee, we wish you a fine stay here among us and should you need an office there is an empty broom-mop closet down the hall from our office in sub-level-seven basement wing C.. Take freight elevator 13; down don't worry about the gator as you get off the elevator unless you come between 12:10 and 1:30 that's his feeding time. Other times he wonders the basement looking for rats and cats... so is not at the elevator and it's safe to move about in the halls down here. The closet if about 230 feet off the elevator just past the flooded boiler room where I believe the gator has a nest. so avoid it.

Again welcome..

Zarta Warden,
UN Ambassador Zeldon

UNOFFICIAL PROCLIMATION
TO: Leadership of The Island of Ishtar
FROM: Minister of Minding your Business

Welcome. We think...

The Ambassador sends her polite regrets that she has urgent pressing matters to attend to and must decline for the moment the offer of the free sandwich, as we are not sure how Ausserland copyright law may apply to said sandwiches in light of recent legislation.

We do encourage the Principality to send said bananas, provided they are inspected by the UN security task force for harmful substances. :p

Sincerely,
Galadriel McGee
UN Ambassador from the SR of II

Pardon our habit of lurking in hallways and accidentally over hearing conversations of particular interest to us. How copyright legislation applies to sandwiches is of particular interest to us, and we would love to discuss the issue further :) We are hoping sandwhiches will be the wedge issue needed to repeal said recent legislation.