The World TFA
Bahgum has entered the following resolution regarding World Sport governing bodies, by picking a sport as an example and, hopefully, avoiding too much of a real world influence :). Read, enjoy, relax, support your favourite....
WTFA
A resolution to reduce barriers to free trade and commerce. (well it was the closest sort of fit to sporting regulation...bigger sports, makes more trade? the others didn't fit at all)
Category: Free Trade
Strength: Mild
Proposed by: Bahgum
Description:
Tabling: the first international governing body for the forthcoming coming World Cup (trouser ferreting)
Noting: The lack of cohesive world rules for the sport of trouser ferreting.
Further Noting: That many other world sports have governing bodies and agreed rules and regulation
Even Further Noting: The voluminous proportions of many members trousers and so proposing that the UN would be ideally placed in implementing the organisation of the world trouser ferret association
Proposing:
1)That a new body, the World Trouser Ferret Association, or WTFA, is to fully delineate all of the official and internationally recognized rules and regulations for trouser ferreting. In the event of disagreements which cannot be agreed at a local level, any arbitration will ultimately be dealt with by the WTFA.
2a) That trouser ferreting is defined as the sport of maintaining ones position on an agreed sized marker (size dependant upon on level of difficulty of tournament round), whilst not spilling any of a full pint glass of beer (beer to be the standard UN bar house pint) for as long as possible with a ferret down your trousers.
2b) Multiple ferret competitions will also come under the direction of the WTFA
3) That a regulation trouser of correct bagginess is agreed. Obviously too baggy is not a challenge and too tight is only detrimental to a participants ferret.
4) That all trousers should be tied at the ankles, but no higher then the ankle bone.
5) That separate events are held for multiple and single trouser ferreting.
6) That world record times can only be collected from the first officially regulated trouser ferreting World Cup.
Applauding & Encouraging: The notion of rules and regulations in all sports
Forgottenlands
08-06-2006, 22:18
The Empire of Forgottenlands is concerned about the lack of regulations regarding supplements or equipment that would give an unfair advantage to a competitor - such as having a small canister of sleeping gas in one's trousers or pills that would disable or limit one's nervous system - particularly below the belt line.
Thank you forgottenlord, although we feel that such leeway adds to the game! Althought the WTFA may wish to debate this once formed?
HotRodia
09-06-2006, 08:12
National Sovereignty!
Oh wait, I'm supposed to make an actual argument.
Ummm...the creation of UN-wide standards for trouser-ferreting is disrespectful of the unique cultures and local customs that apply to trouser-ferreting in the many fine nations of this body, and thus to impose a single set of standards for trouser-ferreting would be disrespectful of said cultures.
National sovereignty arguments work fine if trouser ferreting is simply to be only played at a local level, however, for a world cup, an agreed set of rules which all participants know in advance is the only practical way to hold such an event. As such a governing body is a sensible way forward (never thought i'd use the word sensible, but hey....).
Such an arrangement could be extended to many sports.
Cluichstan
09-06-2006, 13:00
I can't believe you actually submitted this, Bahgum. I only hope you don't have two strikes under your belt already. ;)
The nation of Airatum would like to point out growing international concern over the sport of Trouser Ferreting, given the increasing view that it is inhumane treatment of ferrets.
Creating a UN endorsed body to regulate Trouser Ferreting grants it legitimacy which seems unwise with these concerns.
Respectfully,
Yoash Uriel
Airatum Ambassador to the UN
Cobdenia
09-06-2006, 19:36
Creating a UN endorsed body to regulate Trouser Ferreting grants it legitimacy which seems unwise with these concerns.
Such a simple man
Cluichstan
09-06-2006, 19:39
Such a simple man
GAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Norderia
09-06-2006, 21:01
So... Am I approving this, or....?
So... Am I approving this, or....?
You should. So should I, for that matter. Otherwise, how else will we know if your trouser ferretters are better than mine?
You should. So should I, for that matter. Otherwise, how else will we know if your trouser ferretters are better than mine?
And how else are we going to stop all those rascals who wear their trousers below their ankles?
St Edmundan Antarctic
10-06-2006, 16:17
I wonder whether the Compadrians have a similar sport that utilises otters instead of ferrets?
Completely OOC:
I heard a line in a movie last night..."The attention span of a ferret on crystal meth." I am now even more fully in support of international regulation for Trouser Ferretting after being given the image of a wired junkie ferret dancing around inside a competitors pants.
Witchcliff
10-06-2006, 16:33
We protest this so called sport on the basis of excessive cruelty to animals, and I don't mean the ferrets...well maybe I do....ok then, we protest at the cruelty to both animals involved, the one wearing the trousers and the one shoved down them.
What if the ferret panics and bites? That could well be very detrimental to a paticipants future procreation prospects if he is a he, and I can't imagine a she wanting to put a live animal down her pants. For goodness sake, think of the future children.
Not to mention the poor ferret. Imagine being picked up and shoved down some smelly persons smelly trousers. How is it supposed to breathe down there?
I'd like to see this proposal include some basic safety guidelines, for example mandatory wearing of protection for a certain part of a males anatomy, and air holes in the trousers for the poor ferret.
Kirin
Witchcliff representative
The Reformers
Palentine UN Office
11-06-2006, 01:48
The Palentine is enthusiastically for this fine sporting event. After all, any sport that involves Beer,and Ferrets must be supported(and regulated). Furthermore, a governing body must be formed in order to standardize the rules and practices. Imagine what would happen to a poor sod, if insted of a regular ferret being used, a trained War-Ferret was substituted(of course if there was another league, or division for such competition, then all well and good). We thank the Ambassador from Bahgum, for bringing this to the attention of the UN.
Excelsior,
Sen. Horatio Sulla
Ardchoille
11-06-2006, 07:31
The assembled citizens of Archoille, which is to say, such of them as are both sentient and sapient at this time, enthusiastically support the proposal submitted by the nation of Bahgum. Such inspired and inspirational law-making explains why Bahgum is universally regarded as a jewel in the crown of our much-bejewelled region, Zhaucauozian Friendship.
The successful passage of this proposal will immediately improve international relations, as it will drag from its present mire of corruption the uplifting (though down-to-earth) sport of trouser-ferreting and put an end to (often unjustified) accusations that cause lasting bad feeling within the international community.
It will become a shining light for the equitable regulation of other internationally-popular sports. My government is gratified that Bahgum did not attempt micro-management by delineating every last regulation, but instead left such matters to the WTFA itself, thus avoiding dismissal of the proposal under the Not Another Bloody Useless Committee rule.
Furthermore, it is to be hoped that the formation of this body will cripple, and, with the support of national police forces, eventually end, the heinous and deplorable practices associated with the forced breeding and cross-border sale of Supercilious Ferrets, creatures even more dangerous than ordinary ferrets, as they add sarcasm, irony and innuendo to the natural ferret armament.
Additionally, it may consign to history the appalling sweatshops in which the children of many a small nation are exploited to produce trendy brand-name "ferreting trousers" which bear no relationship to the real thing and would not stand up a minute under competition conditions.
The use of such products by unethical owners of trouser-ferreting teams contravenes innumerable industrial regulations relating to personal protective equipment; trouser-ferreting professionals should enjoy the protection to which all workers are entitled in the workplace.
In short, this proposal, if successful, will enhance world trade, weaken the grip which criminal elements have secured on this segment of international free trade and commerce, increase international understanding (thus contributing to world peace), protect the workers and vastly improve the health of the world's populations by providing a well-regulated, healthy sport suitable for all ages and conditions.
Its benefits are so widespread that I can understand our colleague from Bahgum being uncertain under which category to submit it. I feel I must commend him for the wisdom of his decision and trust that this Assembly will exercise similar wisdom in whole-heartedly supporting it.
-- Dicey Reilly, Co-President of Ardchoille.
St Edmundan Antarctic
11-06-2006, 10:36
Completely OOC:
I heard a line in a movie last night..."The attention span of a ferret on crystal meth." I am now even more fully in support of international regulation for Trouser Ferretting after being given the image of a wired junkie ferret dancing around inside a competitors pants.
H'mm.
This proposal doesn't actually ban the doping of the ferrets involved...
Maybe one should be added if it fails to reach quorum this time around but a subsequent re-submission is planned?
H'mm.
This proposal doesn't actually ban the doping of the ferrets involved...
Maybe one should be added if it fails to reach quorum this time around but a subsequent re-submission is planned?
I think I'd just grant the WTFA the power to maintain an internationally recognized set of rulings that they would decide upon. That way it avoids the issue of missing some loophole in the resolution itself.
Thank you all for the helpful advice. Bahgum is considering a further proposal on the subject to incorporate basic safety legislation, doping rules and a more full explanation WTFA's power to maintain an internationally recognized set of rulings that they would decide upon.
Bahgum is heartened that our proposal nevertheless reached well into double fuigures in endorsement and hopes that, with your support a resubmission could do even better.