NationStates Jolt Archive

Orange Hats Legality Convention
A resolution to restrict civil freedoms in the interest of moral decency.

Category: Moral Decency
Strength: Mild
Proposed by: Groot Gouda

Description: The United Nations,

REAFFIRMING Article 5 of The Universal Bill of Rights, that no one may be subjected to cruel or inhuman treatment,

RECOGNISING that both scientific and moral opinion remains, and is likely to remain, irreparably divided over the issue of the effects of differently coloured hats on human beings,

ACKNOWLEDGING that there are many societies within the NSUN that would consider an orange hat, and especially a dark orange hat, to possess special characteristics and be deserving of special protection, whilst others would not,

REGRETTING that such divisions render a global resolution over coloured hats unlikely,

SEEKING to establish a fair compromise:

1. DECLARES that states have the right to declare orange hats legal or illegal, and to pass legislation extending or restricting the right to an orange hat;

2. RECOMMENDS that in cases of red, blue, green or even yellow hats posing a risk to a person, states permit the wearing of orange hats;

3. URGES states to prevent Cut Out a Paper Hat (COPH or 'partial hat') procedure;

4. CALLS FOR increased international research in coloured hat development, so as to develop greater understanding of the ramifications of orange hats;

5. REMINDS states that in the absence of completely reliable headwear, there may always remain a demand for orange hats, and that legalisation and regulation is more likely to provide proper headwear possibilities.

And I always thought I was too flippant. :D

Play nicely Groot.

Still, made me laugh

I can't wait to see the FAQ on that one...

Opposed; not worthy of the UN's consideration.

OOC: Glad to see you think a woman being denied an abortion is comparable to being denied the right to wear a paper hat.

I'm super! Thanks for asking!

Opposed. Abortion is slightly more serious than a fashion nightmare.

While it's true that the abortion issue is rather more serious than what is most definitely a fashion nightmare, this was still damn funny. :D

2. RECOMMENDS that in cases of red, blue, green or even yellow hats posing a risk to a person, states permit the wearing of orange hats;


What about purple hats? I demand recognition of purple hats!

Opposed.

It is a scientific fact that orange hats are sentient, and in fact hyper-intelligent. They have DNA just like us, and they feel ridicule and pain when placed on the head of a silly woman. Also, there are so many other hats available, women who buy orange hats instead of purple ones are just criminally irresponsible, and they deserve to walk around hatless. I don't understand why people keep using the technical term hat, instead of the plain english words "sun and rain orange protective device."

Think about it. If you were a hat, would you enjoy being orange? For the love of God, think of the protective devices! Ban orange hats!

What about purple hats? I demand recognition of purple hats!

Damn, you beat me to it. Oh, well, great minds think alike... ;)

You guys seriously find this funny? :rolleyes:

You guys seriously find this funny? :rolleyes:
I'm inclined to agree.

I find it very funny actually.

What about flat caps? Everyone knows flat caps cause idiocy in men of a certain age.

You guys seriously find this funny? :rolleyes:

Yep.

This strikes me as a childish attempt to belittle a serious issue and a resolution that makes a good faith attempt to address it. I'd follow that with something witty or some kind of joke at the expense of the original poster, but I'm not that funny.

Still, we oppose this draft, and plan to submit our own

Clinical Orange Hat wearing Rights

Human rights

Strong

Understanding the deep divisions and emotions surrounding the issue of Orange Hats.

Convinced however that all women have the right to ultimate control over their own headgear, and those rights exceed any perceived fashion faux pas

DEFINES

1) An orange hat as a hat that is orange;

Strongly encourages nations to reject the practice of late term orange hat wearing based solely on the season, or if it clashes with the outfit..

Stands firm in the belief that no state has the right to force women to wear unwanted hats, and that the right of women to control their own headgear is a basic human right;

Mandates the following:

1 Member states shall not restrict the right of a woman to control her own headgear, unless she is suffering from a diagnosed and internationally recognised mental disease or defect and has been legally deemed incapable of giving informed consent. In such cases, informed consent may be given by her legal guardian or advocate and such consent shall be accepted by the state.

2 – Member states shall neither restrict the right of qualified individuals to sell orange hats, nor prevent said individuals from setting up conveniently located, properly equipped, and universally accessible orange hat shops. No hat shop personel may be compelled to directly participate in a sale if such a procedure goes against their personal ethics.

3 – While a member state may not refuse to allow a woman access to hat shops at any stage of shopping, it may, at its own discretion, request that shop owners be allowed to take all necessary steps to dissuade a customer from buying an orange hat. The hat shall receive all medical care it requires, and may then be placed for donation to a second hand hat shop if the woman who purchased it relinquishes, or the state removes the hat from her custody. This clause does not apply to cases where such an operation would endanger the woman or in circumstances of deformities of the hat.

4 Member states shall ensure, by such measures as deemed adequate, that costs of orange hats are kept at a reasonable level and that all women can access hat services, regardless of their financial situation. These measures may include regulation, state coverage, requiring private insurance to cover orange hat replacements, and free competition..

5 – The state may at its own discretion, offer education sessions to all shoppers. It may not at any stage of the shopping force shoppers to attend such sessions. Information given must be factual, balanced, and presented without bias. If offered, the sessions must include, though not be solely limited to, all aspects of hat making, orangeness, hat shops, second hand hat shops and and orange hats.

DEFINES

1) An orange hat as a hat that is orange;

But you don't define what "orange" is. Do you mean the color or the citrus fruit? And what if there are nations where orange is a sound rather than a color, hmm?

But you don't define what "orange" is. Do you mean the color or the citrus fruit? And what if there are nations where orange is a sound rather than a color, hmm?

OOC: I am glad to see that Groot Gouda is rejecting hypocrisy, and is acknowledging the logical corollary of his earlier argument that the existence of the 'Human Rights' category allows the UN to pass as much Human Rights legislation as it wishes which is that the same freedom of action must therefore apply in the case of 'Moral Decency' too... ;)

OOC: I am glad to see that Groot Gouda is rejecting hypocrisy, and is acknowledging the logical corollary of his earlier argument that the existence of the 'Human Rights' category allows the UN to pass as much Human Rights legislation as it wishes which is that the same freedom of action must therefore apply in the case of 'Moral Decency' too... ;)
Oh, so you're one of those who perceive time as flowing in a linear manner? I see. Sort of limits your choices when choosing the proper headgear I would imagine.

You guys seriously find this funny? :rolleyes:

Funny, yes

Cheap, yes

Poor parallel, yes

But funny, yes

You guys seriously find this funny? :rolleyes:


Good God NO!! Now purple hats with googly eyes. That would be funny.

You guys seriously find this funny? :rolleyes:

Eh, it was a good way to pass a few seconds.:p

Cheap, yes

Poor parallel, yes

Well I agree with these parts...

Responses from across Krioval:

Kara Tyvok (Senate Speaker) - I'm personally opposed to "partial hats", though I see no reason to restrict a woman's right to wear a hat of any color.

Christine Barro (Leader, Frontier Party) - That anybody would try to restrict hat rights in this day and age is an indication of their lack of an evolved mind. In fact, Krioval should give orange hats to any woman, or man for that matter, who wants them.

David Andros (Leader, Security Party, opposition) - Perhaps I could come to accept the wearing of orange hats early on, but the thought of wearing them past, say, June or July makes me wonder exactly what type of people have come to live in Krioval.

Anthony Selekar (Leader, Christian Party, opposition) - That we even discuss such things is absolutely disgusting. God-fearing people wouldn't even consider wearing orange hats, let alone trying to convince national governments to encourage their wanton ways.

Isabelle Kital (High Priestess) - The temples are unable to comment at this time. Why not ask Serph what he thinks? He's such a polite young man.

Serph Dekker (Chief Paladin) - There is no orange hat-wearing problem in the Guild. For one, there are not so many women here. Plus, we tend to prefer headbands anyway. You're a pretty good-looking guy by the way - have you considered joining the Guild?

We are proposing another piece of legislation be included with this. We recently had a problem with "Red Hot Pants" terrorists. We are proposing a ban on red pants and would like this to be amended to the orange hats legislation.

Who cares what color hats your citizens wear! They could wear purple hats
for all I care!

Hey, at least this bill does more than the abortion one ;).

Our nation tends to induldge in large multi-colored neon hats with fruit and flowers in them.

Wow, two pages in a day or so. Did nothing happen in the world? :)

Opposed; not worthy of the UN's consideration.

Bad argument, as many UN nations seem to have considered this. And technically, there's nothing preventing the UN from legislating on this issue.

OOC: Glad to see you think a woman being denied an abortion is comparable to being denied the right to wear a paper hat.

OOC: the current resolution isn't about abortion, it's about limiting the UN's powers, about what the UN should and shouldn't legislate on. It is not about abortion.

Wow, two pages in a day or so. Did nothing happen in the world? :)

Yeah - 'cause I'm getting my X-box today instead (the store I decided to buy from closed early :()

Bad argument, as many UN nations seem to have considered this. And technically, there's nothing preventing the UN from legislating on this issue.

Hack would delete it for "Not worthy of UN Consideration" - amongst many moderators. So therefore, there's A LOT preventing the UN from legislating on this issue

OOC: the current resolution isn't about abortion, it's about limiting the UN's powers, about what the UN should and shouldn't legislate on. It is not about abortion.

It's both, but the people who support lose the battle of words worst when they get sidetracked onto abortion. Unfortunately, the battle of words doesn't translate into votes but that's why the almighty Max invented repeals.

Tzorsland is deeply saddend by this resolution and wonders why such a resolution has been proposed so close to St. Patrick's Day. Indeed I have a bunch of leprechauns in front of my office in protest. (Fortunately I'm not there, I'm in the UN Statbucks.) Even the Violetists are in violent protest. I fear that your proposal may cause us all to see red. Please cease and desist. Stop even. Let's return to a more black and white morality and do away with color alltogether? Bring back the silver screen silent movies I say!

Even the Violetists are in violent protest.When aren't they?

By long-standing tradition, the color orange is reserved for the headwear of the gelflandii royal gaurd, or neckwear, for those species whose head structure precludes use of headwear. any other individual found to be wearing an orange hat is subject to prosecution for impersonating a government offical.

Bad argument, as many UN nations seem to have considered this. And technically, there's nothing preventing the UN from legislating on this issue.
You are aware there's a Joke Proposals clause in the rules, right?

OOC: the current resolution isn't about abortion, it's about limiting the UN's powers, about what the UN should and shouldn't legislate on. It is not about abortion.
OOC: Thanks for telling me what my proposal is about.

Oh come on, our hair is alive, it is a living thing, and nobody, no matter what their wishes in the matter, whether it be an incompetant barber or simply a bad choice of style, has the right to imprison their hair, and hide it uner a hat.

It is immoral and wrong, man!!!







Just in case you get confused, I am being sarcastic.