NationStates Jolt Archive

Title: Outlawing Employment Harassment and Discrimination

Strength: Strong
Category: Human Rights


ALARMED that UN Member does not yet protect against Employment Harassment and Discrimination.

DEFINING Employment Harassment as unwanted speech, insinuations, touching, violence, writing, drawing, or threatening that abuses any of the employment parties sexually. This would include anything that would make any of the parties feel sexually threatened.

DEFINING Employment Discrimination as denying rights of promotion, acceptance, as withholding wages unfairly, and as firing without due cause, on the basis’ of religion, race, or gender.

DEFINES Employment Parties as co-workers, employees, and employers.

CONVINCED that each of the parties involved in the employment relationship should not be put in a position where they feel they are sexually threatened or harassed.

FURTHER CONVINCED that Employment parties should never be discriminated against on the basis’ of religion, race, or gender.

CALLS upon all honorable nations to protect Employment Parties.

The Nation States UN:

1. ESTABLISHES the rights of all Employment Parties to be free from Employment Harassment and Discrimination.

2. FURTHER RESOLVES that each nation must do what is necessary to protect against Employment Harassment.

3. MANDATES that UN member nations must take action against those who harass or discriminate an Employment Party.

4. REQUIRES that UN member nations must determine how to punish the violators of this resolution appropriately.

5. ENCOURAGES nations to provide information and education about the harassment and discrimination law to their citizens.

4. AFFIRMS that the right to protection from employment harassment is of the utmost importance.

5. FORBIDS sexual Employment Harassment and Employment Discrimination.

Better. But aren't you sort of repeating the same thing many times?

Also: keep all the changes in one thread, for now. Most resolutions go through many drafts, and it'll be difficult to keep track if you keep making new threads. More comments will come shortly.

Actually no, they won't. Fonzoland is right: this is just the same thing, repeated. There needs to be more substance than "harassment is bad".

ALARMED that UN Member does not yet protect against Employment Harassment and Discrimination.
You mean:

ALARMED that the United Nations has not taken action through a resolution against employment harrassment and discrimination;

DEFINING Employment Harassment as unwanted speech, insinuations, touching, violence, writing, drawing, or threatening that abuses any of the employment parties sexually. This would include anything that would make any of the parties feel sexually threatened.
The last sentence is redundant. Also, what do you mean by "abuses sexually"?

DEFINING Employment Discrimination as denying rights of promotion, acceptance, as withholding wages unfairly, and as firing without due cause, on the basis’ of religion, race, or gender.
Ceorana doesn't like restrictions on our employers' right to fire people. This seems OK, but we'd appreciate it if you treaded carefully around that area.

DEFINES Employment Parties as co-workers, employees, and employers.

Always put the definition before you use it. This should go before the previous two clauses.

CONVINCED that each of the parties involved in the employment relationship should not be put in a position where they feel they are sexually threatened or harassed.
OK...I guess.

FURTHER CONVINCED that Employment parties should never be discriminated against on the basis’ of religion, race, or gender.
OK...I guess.

CALLS upon all honorable nations to protect Employment Parties.

This should be CALLS UPON not CALLS upon, I think.

Also, your clauses here are getting redundant and pointless. I'd like to see the last three combined.

The Nation States UN:

1. ESTABLISHES the rights of all Employment Parties to be free from Employment Harassment and Discrimination.
You've already said this in a preambulatory clause. I'm not sure if you should keep this one, the other one, or both.

2. FURTHER RESOLVES that each nation must do what is necessary to protect against Employment Harassment.
RESOLVES, not FURTHER RESOLVES. This is good, though.

3. MANDATES that UN member nations must take action against those who harass or discriminate an Employment Party.

Get rid of this clause altogether. Just tell nations they have to stop employment harrassment, not that they have to punish people. Keep your hands out of our justice system!

4. REQUIRES that UN member nations must determine how to punish the violators of this resolution appropriately.

Scratch this along with 3. Also, if you decide to keep three, scratch this one anyway. Of course nations are going to determine how much to punish them as part of punishing them!

5. ENCOURAGES nations to provide information and education about the harassment and discrimination law to their citizens.
OK.

4. AFFIRMS that the right to protection from employment harassment is of the utmost importance.
For Heaven's sake, that's about the fiftieth time you've said that. This clause should be trashed.

5. FORBIDS sexual Employment Harassment and Employment Discrimination.
This is the same as clause 1, but on the other side. Scratch it.

This looks like a good start, but it needs some work and major fluff removal.