NationStates Jolt Archive

New draft in Post #15 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=10448829&postcount=15)

Couple of grammar errors.
CONCERNED that landmines constitute a significant to civilians,
significant threat to civilians?
1. CONDUCTS all member nations to conduct surveys in order to determine the location and status of any minefields within their sovereign territory;
CONDUCTS all member nations to conduct?

Other than those two things, it looks good. I'd approve it.

Bugger. Well, this is really a test run as much as anything.

Fix those and submit it again. Have a mod kill the first one.

I also think

DECLARING itself against unnecessary civilian casualty and death,
is abit weird

Well...we are against it, aren't we? I mean, no one in the UN, given the laws we've passed, could support unnecessary civilian death with a great deal of legitimacy.

I meant the phrasing seems odd to me..

"DECLARING itself against" is the bit that seems odd to me

maybe something like

DEPLORING unnecessary civilian deaths

Bazalonia']I meant the phrasing seems odd to me..

"DECLARING itself against" is the bit that seems odd to me
Ok. Well, it's sort of a 'mission statement'. Instead of just saying "unnecessary civilian deaths are bad, mkay", it's a more forceful/official 'declaration' of what we, the UN, think.

Points to potential suggestion that was edited in

Ah, didn't see that. Yes, that's good, but I wanted something active. Not just "we think this is bad" - which yours is - but "we think is so bad, we're going to do something about it" - which mine. To my mind, legislation should have justification. That clause is an attempt to justify taking action.

Ok... how about...

DECLARING action needs to be taken to dramatically reduce unnecessary civilian deaths

We accept

The Commonalitarianism supports this initiative. Land mines are barbaric. They also have proved to be in instances a deterrent to our sea born troops landing. This initiative much improves our military circumstances. :p

This is a fine initiative, and we look forward to supporting it. The language of the proposal does, however, need work. We have two substantive hesitations....

We're not convinced that prohibiting flights over minefields is necessary or advisable. The locations of the minefields should be clearly marked on navigational maps, so they can be avoided. Prohibiting flights over them, though, may not be practical, especially in cases of widespread or long-lasting wars, during which large numbers of small minefields might be emplaced.

We agree with the establishment of the UNDS, but we believe that the proposal needs to state what the agency will do.

The Ausserland delegation stands ready to assist with work on the text of the proposal if desired.

Hurlbot Barfanger
Ambassador to the United Nations

Final-ish draft. Thanks to them fine UN DEFCON folks. Global Disarmament, Mild:

The United Nations,

CONDEMNING avoidable civilian casualties,

COMMENDING previous law protecting civilians during and after military conflicts,

CONCERNED that landmines constitute a significant threat to civilians,

LAMENTING that this problem has not been adequately addressed,

DEFINING for the purposes of this resolution
- "landmine" as a self-contained explosive device, placed on or under the ground, triggered by a person, tank, other vehicle, timer mechanism, or otherwise, with the intent to deter or disable force movements,
- "minefield" as any area in which landmines are located, or believed to be located,
- "demining" as the process of safely disabling, detonating, or removing landmines, rendering them non-hazardous:

1. DECLARES the duty of member nations to reduce and, where possible, prevent civilian casualties in minefields;

2. INSTRUCTS member nations to conduct surveys determining the location and status of all minefields within their territory;

3. RECOMMENDS that member nations take all appropriate actions to prevent civilian casualties in minefields, including:
- clear marking of minefields on maps,
- posting of clearly visible signs around minefields, using warnings in all appropriate languages,
- international cooperation in raising awareness of the location of minefields,
- advising and educating citizens on methods for avoiding casualties in minefields;

4. ADVISES member nations that responsible demining is the most effective way of reducing minefield casualties;

5. ESTABLISHES the UN Demining Survey (UNDS), mandated to:
- conduct and aid demining operations, where requested under Article 8,
- research demining technology, landmine types less likely to constitute a lasting danger to civilians, and alternatives to landmine use,
- collaborate with national and international demining agencies,
- instruct civilians on landmine safety and treatment of landmine-related injuries,
- further promote landmine safety awareness through educational and informational campaigns;

6. URGES member nations to contribute staff, expertise, information, and funding to the UNDS;

7. MANDATES that the UNDS be respectful of territorial sovereignty of member states, and that no UNDS agent enter the territory of member nations without their explicit consent;

8. ESTABLISHES that:
- member nations may request UNDS assistance in demining minefields located solely within their jurisdiction,
- for minefields located within the jurisdiction of two or more nations, UNDS demining may be requested solely for parts of the minefield under jurisdiction of requesting nations,
- requesting nations may bar specific individuals from entering their territory to undertake UNDS operations,
- requesting nations must provide UNDS agents all available information on the location of landmines, and the UNDS may refuse involvement if risks to its personnel are deemed excessive,
- storage and disposal of removed landmines and fragments is the responsibility of requesting nations, and the UNDS may refuse involvement if the requesting nation is deemed incompetent to perform it.

Any comments are welcome.

As my Gruenberger friend already knows, the people of Cluichstan fully support this.

Updated clause 5:
5. ESTABLISHES the UN Demining Survey (UNDS), mandated to:
- conduct and aid demining operations, where requested under Article 8,
- research demining technology, landmine types less likely to constitute a lasting danger to civilians, and alternatives to landmine use,
- collaborate with national and international demining agencies,
- instruct civilians on landmine safety and treatment of landmine-related injuries,
- further promote landmine safety awareness through educational and informational campaigns;

A fine proposal which has our full support.

By order of His Royal Highness, Leonhard II, Prince of Ausserland:

Patrick T. Olembe
Minister for Foreign Affairs

It's... it's beautiful. Just beautiful.

*moves away in tears*

Sir Cyril stands up to speak:

"The Cobdenian military attache has a few words to say about this. I apologise in advance:

Field Marshal Sir Brian "Pointy" Blatherstock pushes Sir Cyril aside

"Aha! Fantastic, what? Absolutely bally marvelous! Wahey! Why, I haven't seen a proposal this good since the one about Pot Noodles!"

"There hasn't been a proposal about Pot Noodles"

"Really? Well I never. There should damn well be! Pot Noodles are important. To everything. The world revolves around Pot Noodles. Why hasn't there been a proposal about Pot Noodles? Write one, will you, Cecil!"

"Cyril. Sir Cyril"

"Oh yes, sorry Simon. Now, where was I?"

"We haven't a bloody clue. You were waffling on about Pot Noodles"

"Marvellous things, Pot Noodles! Why I remember back in the day, when we were fighting those damned Fuzzy Wuzzies in 1904. We lived on Pot Noodles! If it wasn't for Pot Noodles we would have lost!"

"And what has this to do with Landmines?"

"Nothing. But it has everything to do with Pot Noodles."

"Well THIS ISN'T A PROPOSAL ABOUT F***ING POT NOODLES!"

"What's it about, Stephen?"

"LANDMINES!"

"Oh, right. I see. Roger that, Sergei! Well, landmines. They're not very sporting, are they? However, one must remember war is about hurting people. It's not a game of cricket. Or the female gymnastics. Thus, I think I support this!"

"Thank God, he finally reached the point. Without mentioning Pot Noodles"

"What was that about Pot Noodles?"

"Shut up, you senile old git!"