NationStates Jolt Archive

The Gruenograph

"Is his vein meant to be bulging like that?"

BOB VANDERBUCKET - TODAY, at approximately 15.00 UNT, Moltan Bausch, Gruenberger ambassador to the United Nations, was admitted to the UN Ambassadorial Hospital with a severe case of Corporal Asplodination Syndrome. Mr Bausch was said to be in a stable but "extremely messy" condition.

The incident occurred as Bausch returned to his quarters after a further of round of debating the IT Education Act (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=454501), during the course of which the ambassador had repeatedly lost his temper with the representatives of Love and esterel and Forgottenlands UN. This was not an isolated incident, and observers had charted a gradual rise in hostile behaviour on the behalf of the ambassador, who had become increasingly uncouth and aggressive.

Doctors assessed him on arrival, and consultant desaeviologist Marse Ankh-Twig reported that he was "one of the angriest people I've worked on". The Gruenograph has obtained exclusive access to his medical records, which noted a "rage rating" of 8.5, with symptons of fury, wrath, and bloodlust also detected. His blood pressure was said to be "very, very angry". Mr Bausch is blood-type RAWR. Doctors believe his diet of dolphins and small children may have contributed to the problem.

Deputy Ambassador Nuck Chorris will stand in for Bausch; he gave a press conference shortly after the public announcement of his senior's condition in which he vowed to continue to affirm Gruenberg's rights through a combination of hard-headed analysis, support for pro-sovereignty legislation, and roundhouse kicks to the face. Legal experts are still determining the repercussions of the UNSA presuming legal the use of Nuck Chorris in warfare.

It seems unlikely Bausch will recover before the intended resubmission date of 'Repeal "UCPL"', but Mr Chorris has vowed to continue to press the issue, and has urged all representatives to prepare final comments on the draft, in honour of Mr Bausch's left temple.

Repeal "UCPL": http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=453988

We are extermenly sorry for Moltan Bausch's illness and hope he get better.

If Moltan desires, we at SLI Sector can create a genetic template for Moltan, allowing for Moltan's body to be reborn and recreated over and over again. We can decant another clone, one without the aliments, and cured. It will keep Moltan alive and well, ready to serve the UN for many years. Cloning is a safe process, but there are still misunderstandings about it. Hopefully, SLI Sector will correct these assumptions by making cloning more accessabile for the general popluation.

Note that these clones will have the same memory of Moltan right now, thanks to the idea of "MemoMax". Therefore, Moltan's new clone, Moltan-2 will know everything about Moltan-1. This will allow for counitunty.

Errors with this process, including memomaxes erased or replaced, or clones having serious genetic defects, are very rare indeed.

i also hope that Ambassador Bausch recovers quickly.

if he needs a holiday i can recommend a few good hotels in Kirisubo. at this time of year we're into our winter sports season and a bit of R&R could well be helpful to his recovery.

my offer to help with the repeal still stands if Mr Chorris wants to get in touch with me.

Kaigan Miromuta

Pazu-Lenny Nero arrived to the UN Ambassadorial Hospital and demanded if could have a conversation with Moltan Bausch. As he was waiting for the answer from the medical team he declared to a journalist in the hospital lobby:

“I really hope Moltan will recover quickly and resume his action at the UN. Even if it happens I was personally opposed to him quite often, the general assembly will miss his hard-nosed and pertinent critics. I feel also somehow responsible, we were engaged in sterile raw disputes together, I have also loose my nerves, I regret it and present him my apologizes. I hope he will be back at the Stranger’s bar soon to have a drink with us”

Geoffrey looked, as he often did, accusingly at Desdemona.

"What on earth is that?"

She opened the bag to let him look inside. A solid gold plaster for Moltan. This did not improve his mood.

"That looks suspiciously like the one I bought for you when you first retired."

"Jealous? And it's clearly not the same. Mine isn't gold."

"Where on earth did you find this?"

"HotRodia."

"Ah right. I never thought I'd miss the crippling income tax of home."

We wish Ambassador Bausch a speedy recovery and hope that the leather restraints are removed soon--but not too soon. ;)

Lorelei M. Ahlmann
Ambassador-at-Large

Get well soon card from Sir Cyril and Lady Bernadette MacLehose-Strangways-Jones, and all 330 of Sir Cyril's legitimate and illegitmate children:

Cover
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v335/JimRad-Mac/ns/getwellsoon.jpg

Inside:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v335/JimRad-Mac/ns/getwellsoonB.jpg

I and my fellow citizens also wish swift health to the good Ambassador, and I hope to continue working with him and other involved parties in the refinement of his proposal of repeal. His absence at the drafting meetings had raised concern and worry as to his condition, and he was duly missed. I welcome the opportunity to resume the drafting sessions and hope they'll not be delayed too much longer.

As a token of well-wishes, may I present this gift? *Madame President motions toward the large, cloth-enveloped area to her right. The cloth raises itself up, and a grand theatre appears where before there was a large, cloth-enveloped area. A banner across the top of the building says "GRAND OPENING!", and the sounds of a large orchestra can be heard through the theatre's open doors.* Our greatest minds have come together and created a most wonderous stage production, accompanied by the melodious strains of our finest musicians, with a score that is 100% original and composed especially for this production, and all dedicated to you, Sir Ambassador. I believe you and your fellow citizens will absolutely love it! Please, everyone, join me inside, and let the masterpiece begin! *She walks into the theatre, shows the Ambassador to his private box at the top and centre of the operahouse-like seating, takes her seat to his right as head of the project that created this theatre, waits for all the citizens to take their seats, and motions for the cast, crew, and orchestra to commence.*

We too at County Island general assembly wish Moltan a quick and speedy recovery as he is an asset to the Uuited Nations and his people.
However we strongly disagree with SLI Sectors proprosed plan.
If Moltan desires, we at SLI Sector can create a genetic template for Moltan, allowing for Moltan's body to be reborn and recreated over and over again. We can decant another clone, one without the aliments, and cured. It will keep Moltan alive and well, ready to serve the UN for many years. Cloning is a safe process, but there are still misunderstandings about it. Hopefully, SLI Sector will correct these assumptions by making cloning more accessabile for the general popluation.

Note that these clones will have the same memory of Moltan right now, thanks to the idea of "MemoMax". Therefore, Moltan's new clone, Moltan-2 will know everything about Moltan-1. This will allow for counitunty.

Errors with this process, including memomaxes erased or replaced, or clones having serious genetic defects, are very rare indeed.[/QUOTE]
Cloning should be outlawed on humans as it is a violation of nature and death is an essential part of life (yes we get the irony!).
The Commonwealth of County Islands wishes to put forward a propasal to the UN on the moral intregity of 'cloning' as it destroys the beauty and indeed the point of life, as it would become meaningless.
We hope that Moltan returns to work swiftly to aid our proprosal.
P.S/ If you so wish we at the County Islands have the best healthcare in our region and are world renouned for our high quality health services.
We can provide round the clock care and hopefully have you back on your feet in no time.

Cloning should be outlawed on humans as it is a violation of nature and death is an essential part of life (yes we get the irony!).
The Commonwealth of County Islands wishes to put forward a propasal to the UN on the moral intregity of 'cloning' as it destroys the beauty and indeed the point of life, as it would become meaningless.
We hope that Moltan returns to work swiftly to aid our proprosal.
P.S/ If you so wish we at the County Islands have the best healthcare in our region and are world renouned for our high quality health services.
We can provide round the clock care and hopefully have you back on your feet in no time.

We would vote against this propsal, as our nation is full of clones, and if you ban cloning, you would be banning my nation.

Plus, cloning, in many other nations, are used not just to keep people alive forever. They are used for creating high-yeild animals and produce much food, or for making stem cells and helping the health care system.

Plus, life is useful. Clones are somewhat expensive, and so people do value life. If they die, they do not want to pay the price of another clone. And, death, as a natural process, occurs soon enough...some people do run out of money to buy clones, and therefore, their template has to be erased. And if people have committed a crime against the state, one of the punishment is erasure of the clone template.

http://test256.free.fr/moltan.jpg