NationStates Jolt Archive

Category: Global Environment, Health
Strength: Mediocre

The NationStates United Nations,

NOTING that a "planet dissolving" Chaos Cloud may be traveling through space towards the planet Earth, and will reportedly reach the planet by the year 2014;

ALSO NOTING that Dr. Albert Sherwinski, an alleged astrophysicist believes that "total annihilation of our solar system is imminent"; but

FURTHER NOTING that the source of said information is an unreliable, grocery-store tabloid; yet

CONSIDERING both the monetary and non-monetary costs involved with measures designed to prevent extinction; and

POSITING that extinction of the human race would negatively effect our survival;

RECOMMENDS that the human population (or as much thereof as possible) be removed from the planet Earth and transplanted to a safer location in the Universe; and

SUGGESTS that the good peoples of the Protectorate of Discordinia and all other peoples located in the Tropics of Thompson region be the first evacuees as a reward for their efforts to alert the rest of the world as to this potential planet-threatening menace.

Category: Global Environment, Health
Strength: Mediocre

The NationStates United Nations,

NOTING that a "planet dissolving" Chaos Cloud may be traveling through space towards the planet Earth, and will reportedly reach the planet by the year 2014;

ALSO NOTING that Dr. Albert Sherwinski, an alleged astrophysicist believes that "total annihilation of our solar system is imminent"; but

FURTHER NOTING that the source of said information is an unreliable, grocery-store tabloid; yet

CONSIDERING both the monetary and non-monetary costs involved with measures designed to prevent extinction; and

POSITING that extinction of the human race would negatively effect our survival;

RECOMMENDS that the human population (or as much thereof as possible) be removed from the planet Earth and transplanted to a safer location in the Universe; and

SUGGESTS that the good peoples of the Protectorate of Discordinia and all other peoples located in the Tropics of Thompson region be the first evacuees as a reward for their efforts to alert the rest of the world as to this potential planet-threatening menace.

Very nice. I couldn't have written a better joke proposal myself.

Minister of UN Affairs
Edward Jones

Bah! Self-serving tripe! The lab chimps should be the world's primary focus as a potential new threat! Our Head of National Security has shown me proof positive that it is entirely possible for lab monkeys to use psionics against humans! I invite the heads of all nations to join in our marathon LAN parties, and you will all see the proof for yourselves. :p

Category: Global Environment, Health
Strength: Mediocre Is this even a real category?
NOTING that a "planet dissolving" Chaos Cloud may be traveling through space towards the planet Earth, and will reportedly reach the planet by the year 2014 http://www.exitmundi.nl/exitmundi.htm Read what's inside the blue box at the bottom of the page, that's the important part. The news was fake, an article in the supermarket tabloid, "Weekly World News". If you've never seen them, believe me, they're hilarious. They've had such articles as "Saddam's and Osama's vampire love child on the loose in the streets of New York!" Really, it must be true!
ALSO NOTING that Dr. Albert Sherwinski, an alleged astrophysicist believes that "total annihilation of our solar system is imminent" No such person exists unfortunetly.
FURTHER NOTING that the source of said information is an unreliable, grocery-store tabloid No kidding...
POSITING that extinction of the human race would negatively effect our survival Just maybe a teensy weensy bit.
RECOMMENDS that the human population (or as much thereof as possible) be removed from the planet Earth and transplanted to a safer location in the Universe Who? How? When? Where? and most importantly, why? There is no such thing as a "safer location in the Universe".
SUGGESTS that the good peoples of the Protectorate of Discordinia and all other peoples located in the Tropics of Thompson region be the first evacuees as a reward for their efforts to alert the rest of the world as to this potential planet-threatening menace. Against the rules, you can't name specific nations or regions, but I believe this entire thing is a joke regardless.

I thought it was a pretty good joke. Just read my first post in here. :D

No such person exists unfortunetly.

Nice spelling. :eek:

To think that I took HotRodia's proposal to send all nuclear arms there for disposal (using the Big Red Button device) seriously.... until I actually read it. LOL So now I'm off on this tangent about psionic lab chimps -- mainly because I play too much Shock2, but it's also kinda funny in the context of global politics.

I don't think we should leave the planet. After all, planet dissolving" Chaos Cloud's have the right to exist and eat too. I don't think we'd be too happy if all the cattle on earth decided one day to pack up and leave to escape being turned into rump steaks by us :D.

Besides considering what the human race is like, I can't imagine the rest of the universe would be too happy having hordes of us decend on them. I'm sure the plasma cannons are being cleaned and charged up now ;):).

The Democratic Republic of Adnaria think that the world states need to be aware of this danger.Adnaria will support this idea.
George Forest,
Minister of Science and Envinorment,
Democratic Republic of Adnaria.

If there is to be a mass evacuation plan, could Compadria book places 4,596,600 through to 7,400,000 please. :D

Oh and could we have club-class too, large numbers of our countrymen suffer from back problems. :D :D

May the blessings of our otters be upon you.

Leonard Otterby
Ambassador for the Republic of Compadria to the U.N.