NationStates Jolt Archive


Hiigarian States
28-06-2005, 13:10
Hello! Can you read this document? And do you like it or hate pleas tell me!
It is for
A resolution to improve world security by boosting police and military budgets.
And it name is "The free world!"

In today's world we are in danger because we can't control some of the problems. But don't think that we can't do nothing, because we can!
We must think of the tomorrow, of are children, of are on live. Today we can make a new World.
If you want a new world you must boost police and military budget. If not you can do nothing. But what if you don't do it? Yes all of your money will be save but for what? If not today when?
Are children will remember as the People why care!
This program will do well to all of the countries. We will be save and all of are children will be save to.
For as, the people of Hiigara, the world is new, but we see that the world is not save some of the country's don't care other can't do anything, other just love money. But if we can save the World we can save are money.
Why you ask?
Because your nation will be save and other will be save and you will not go to war and spy on other nation's and those thing's take a lot of money. You won’t have money and they won’t have money.
And why don't care. Yes you can seat and do nothing. Yes for a day’s it will be good. But soon you will have a problem as Terrorist attack and you will seat even then? No, but it will be too late to do something there will some on killed.
Thanks you all for reading this! Thanks!
And I hope that you can make a great world!
Pleas tell me is it good?
Hiigarian States
28-06-2005, 13:14
And how do i send it? :confused: :confused:
28-06-2005, 14:34
This proposal is BARELY readable.

1) The style is like a someone who is just throwing arguments around as they come to his/her head. There is no flow or organization to it. Every sentance is alone with no connection to the others around it.

2) There is little actual specification of WHAT must be done - oh, military and police budgets must be boosted so I'll hand them both an extra penny.

3) It feels like you're basically trying to throw money at the problem rather than actually trying to address it.

4) Two words: WHITE SPACE - spread paragraphs farther apart so that I'm not reading this big huge blob (again, readability - nicely spaced proposals are easier to read than these blobs).

In its current form, I would tell my delegate to not vote for it.

Anyways, to submit:

1)You need to be in the UN and have received two endorsements from your region members.

2) On the UN page - there is a button saying "Submit a proposal" - that's where you submit.
Hiigarian States
28-06-2005, 14:58
Thank's so it is very bad? Yes i know that it is horribal o my god! :headbang:
I will never be a politic only in Russia.
28-06-2005, 15:38
Don't let it worry you :).

Take a look at the stickied threads in here and the passed resolutions thread and you wil get an idea of how to write it up better.

Don't be in a hurry. Take the time to research it and decide what you want it to achieve, then try writing it up again. I'm sure you can improve it :).
28-06-2005, 17:25
You need to develop your ideas. Exactly what are we supposed to do with our militaries? How much do we need to boost them? Where should we direct extra funds? What exactly is this boost aiming at? We need to know more precisely what you hope to achieve, how boosting our military forces will achieve this, and why we should want to achieve it.

By the way, you should know that _Myopia_ is unlikely to support a proposal of this type, as we are not a wealthy nation and it is essentially all we can do to maintain the basic services our citizens deserve. Boosting military funding would involve cuts in education, health, or something similar, a price that is unlikely to be worth paying - though it depends exactly what your proposal says when it is developed. We also tend to be of the opinion that there are usually better solutions to most problems than military force.

This thread in particular is very useful. It covers both the development of good ideas for legislation, and how to write these ideas into a good proposal.