NationStates Jolt Archive

RECOGNIZING that 99.9% of violent crimes committed in the past year could have been prevented if the victim had been carrying a concealed semi-automatic weapon,

ASSERTING that the crime rate would drop dramatically if every citizen of every nation in the world was forced to conceal a minimum of two (2) semi-automatic weapons on their person at any time,

DETERMINING that a semi-automatic weapon is useless without a sufficient supply of ammunition,

HOPING that arming the entire world will make some kind of dent in the exponential growth of the world population,

This resolution requires all UN member nations to acquire, at their own expense, at least two (2) semi-automatic weapons for each citizen and provide a reliable supply of ammunition. For the common good, of course.

Let's face it, kiddos: this whole "birthrate" thing is spinning out of control. Women across the world are poppin' babies out faster than our street gangs can toe-tag 'em. Part of the problem is that urban criminals, and criminals in general, are forced to use substandard, inefficient weapons, such as handguns and kitchen cutlery. Think what a great effect they could have on world hunger if we gave them a hand...and an Uzi. Say "bye-bye" to overpopulation and "hello" to a happier, more well-fed world. And their mothers will thank you because blood dulls the blade of an average kitchen knife prematurely. Is your kid getting bullied at school? Not after he lays down some suppressive fire with his Tech-9 before he goes into the locker room. I just don't see a downside. :mp5:

I'm really glad that this one was meant in jest...
I saw this in the proposal list, and was startled for a second there...

Proposal title and content do not match.
Uzis are automatic firearms, not semiautomatic.

If you can think of a well-known semi-automatic with a name that rhymes with "safety" I'd love to hear it, smartass.

That and I'm proud of my lack of general firearm knowledge. Sorry I don't drool over fun killing mechanisms in magazines or stores. I just have no thirst for that kind of knowledge, ya know? But the words rhyme so there you have it...

If you can think of a well-known semi-automatic with a name that rhymes with "safety" I'd love to hear it, smartass.
Er... well, now you mention it, 'uzi' doesn't really do that either...

"tee" rhymes with "zee" because of the "ee"

Kalashnikov ryhmes with "armed, so back off!"

I'll just put it down to differences in pronunciation, then.

In any case, Enn is among the many nations with a zero crime rate, while also having no firearms of any kind, even among the police force. I don't weant to jeopardise that by re-introducing semiautomatics.

No worries, fellas. This one got nixed because I "made up statistics." Look at the language of the bill and you'll see that I didn't do anything your average bottle of hand sanitizer doesn't do, and that's perfectly legal. I think it's reasonable to assume that just about all of the world's violent crime (beatings and such) would not have taken place had the victim been able to defend himself with the proposed firearm. Of course, the subsequent shootings would have been violent in their own right, but that wasn't the basis for killing the bill.

No worries, fellas. This one got nixed because I "made up statistics." Look at the language of the bill and you'll see that I didn't do anything your average bottle of hand sanitizer doesn't do, and that's perfectly legal. I think it's reasonable to assume that just about all of the world's violent crime (beatings and such) would not have taken place had the victim been able to defend himself with the proposed firearm. Of course, the subsequent shootings would have been violent in their own right, but that wasn't the basis for killing the bill.

I was going to ask - you don't think that if the people who are being attacked open fire with an Uzi that a lot more people are going to die? That this might reduce the crime rate, but increase the death rate?

An increase in the death rate is a pragmatic solution to the problem of overpopulation. Kill pregnant women or criminals, or overwork the farmers. Your choice.

I'm mildly amused that people are still reading this as my personal opinion on the subject. For the record, I'm not in favor of weapons for everyone or killing pregnant women or overworking farmers. I just wanted to see if the UN would take a practical step to prevent crime and overpopulation or cling to abstract standards of morality. I have such standards as well, I just wanted to see if the UN did.

An increase in the death rate is a pragmatic solution to the problem of overpopulation. Kill pregnant women or criminals, or overwork the farmers. Your choice.

I'm mildly amused that people are still reading this as my personal opinion on the subject. For the record, I'm not in favor of weapons for everyone or killing pregnant women or overworking farmers. I just wanted to see if the UN would take a practical step to prevent crime and overpopulation or cling to abstract standards of morality. I have such standards as well, I just wanted to see if the UN did.

I can't speak for anyone else (well - that's not true - I won't speak for anyone else!) but I never thought it was your opinion. But this is not a matter of morality vs stopping crime - if that were the case you would just implement the death penatly for EVERY crime imaginable. It is a matter of common sense. Giving people two machine guns to defend themselves with will not prevent crime, it will encourage it. And controlling the population should not be synonymous with vigalante justice, which is what a huge flood of guns in to a nation will do.

"Crime"? Not at all. Think "Fair-Start Natural Selection." Babies of the future will be born with quicker trigger fingers. It's dog-eat-dog without the corner offices, skyscrapers, and aggressive negotiating, unless negotiating is modified to refer to shooting.

Firearms are banned in my nation, except for the police and the military.

Firearms are banned in my nation, except for the police and the military.

They're legal in our country, without permit for citizens or residents as they have passed through conscription military service. This includes most automatic weapons, though "heavy" military weapons are out of the reach of civilians in most cases.

How convenient; dissenters are, in the big picture, looking at the government through the barrel of a gun. Where my proposal murders people, your policies murder effective criticism. Maybe that's the idea; you don't have to admit it...