NationStates Jolt Archive

I found this gem while perusing the proposals:

Human Rights - Its Our Choice

A resolution to improve worldwide human and civil rights.

Category: Human Rights
Strength: Strong
Proposed by: IRocker

Description: Human rights is something we should be entitled to. anything we want to do. donate all our money to charity? go aorund on a mass killing spree? whatever we do, its our choice. and the government has no right to interfere with it. How to keep kids protected? well its their choice. they could give their kids guns if they wanted. its our life. why should we spend life cooped up and bound by rules? so they safeguard us. but we're not weaklings ( at least most of us ) and we should ahve the right to make our own choices and decisions. express our thoughts feelings in any way we want. As Bon Jovi once sang " It's my life"

It's your choice. It's your vote.

Interesting. It sounds as though the author wants to mandate anarchy?

Illegal beyond words.

Illegal beyond words.
It was a rather nice laugh.
There are some other nice ones sitting there too.
Like the "Tea time" proposal...

Personally I found the dress code one quite amusing.

Personally I found the dress code one quite amusing.
Description: Given the great number of government workers, including those of the United Nations, working around the world to further the benefits of the masses: it would seem reasonable to make all those working in a government or UN position wear a specific piece of identification that would allow them to be recognized in the public.

We cannot simply allow our Presidents, Prime Ministers, Chancellors, and Emperors for Life to be the only figures the public would recognize. Many others are involved in the processes of legislation, and all should be approachable.

It is the proposal of the Sultanate of Luther Dormitories, a dwelling of many students all demanding the ability to identify those who represent them in government, that the following dress code be put in place:

-All those employed in any Government sector must wear a pink tutu in public. Pink is an attractive, vibrant colour that quickly draws attention.
-All those employed in the United Nations must wear a blue tutu, this is to differentiate them from local government agents and armed forces, UN workers will soon be known no longer as "casque bleues" but as "tutus bleues"
-Depending on the wing of the government, additional uniforms may be put in place, such as stockings worn around the head for the Treasury, camoflaged tights for the army, beach sandals for the Education departments, and bear fur capes for the Justice Department. The possibilities for each nation is endless. Tattoos, glo-worms, and more can all be included!
-These uniforms should be friendly in design, if you are a Democracy, you want your people to be confident enough to step up to you and ask for change. If you are a Dictatorship, you want your people to be confident enough to step up to you and ask for change...so you may execute them for being the treacherous scum that they are.

Just think, you are already the most powerful man in your country, does a frilly pink outfit make you anyless significant? No! It means you are proud of who you are and don't care about social climates...besides...look at your local court judge, chances are he hasnt kept up with the cultural styles, why should you? Identify yourself in the crowd with a frilly pink tutu!
I think I like it!

I also like the proposal entitled "Tortue Ban". Whoops, somebody missed a letter...

Ha, somebody has a proposal to ban chemical weapons, which is a bit funny, as they're already banned.


Wait, they *are* banned, right?


There's also "Ak-47's for eveyone!"
Description: Every member of a un nation should be armed with weapons to help us keep peace or sum crap like that just give eveyone guns.
Hmm, that AIMspeak is mighty convincing!

Then there's "Save are selves.", which is a rather odd one.
Description: I am the supreme chancler of the holyone and I would like to make a resolution to stop the use of fossil fuels.My scientist have put up a theory that with another 20 years are enviroment will be in extreme danger as while as every nation on this planet.Around 20 years from now both polar ice caps will be melted causing world wide flooding and according to my scientist estamations almost 42% of the worlds land mass will be under water killing Billions.On top of that the ozone layer will be gone and with that millions will parish under several cancers and almost if not all of are plant life will be destroyed within a year after that.So you might be asking me what we can do to solve this problem I tell you this.My countrty has developed a power source recently that will in a decade be affordable for over 80% of the world.There type X-3820 Fusion packs.THere essentially small generators capable of producing large amounts of energy.It is 100% benificial. Its been proven in the last years testing of it.They can be used with almost anything to provide long lasting power.Cars, planes,jets,powerplants what everyou need it can be used for it.Remenber fossil fuels are destroying are planet by are calculations in only 15 years they will be gone so its a good idea to be finding out what to do now while we still have time.Already my country and two of our allies have 20% of are fuel and power needs are being accomplished with these power packs.To great use and there much more affordable than fossil fuels do to most of the parts are from recycled automobiles and elctronics.So please take my resolution we must as a planet to survive.I know you will do what is best for the united nations and the world.Thank you for your time again from the chancler of theholyone.
Umm, yeah.

Then there's this:
Alien Invasion Defeanse Act

A resolution to improve world security by boosting police and military budgets.

Category: International Security
Strength: Strong
Proposed by: The Cassiopeia Galaxy

Description: The Threat of a Alien Invasion of Earth hangs over everyones head. Any Time Now, Earth will be attacked by a Alien race wanting to enslave this planet for it's resorces. The is Why all Nations of the World must..

1, Set up a defeanse network to deal with any Invasion Threat or a Invasion it self.

2, increse Military Budgets world wide and to start a Space budget to help sudy space.

3, Set up a Satellite Network to detect any Alien Fleet that might enter the Solar System.

Hmm?
Earth?
Many of the nations here aren't on earth at all...

Wow. I've posted thrice in a row.
Somebody tranq me.

Well it looks like we are breaking the rules. The Irish Brotherhood have plenty of chemical and biological weapons. Plus we are currently developing are new kind of chemical weapon code named Phalanx-2.

Well it looks like we are breaking the rules. The Irish Brotherhood have plenty of chemical and biological weapons. Plus we are currently developing are new kind of chemical weapon code named Phalanx-2.

*watches the UN Gnomes cart off the lot and replace it with assorted nuts*

Strangely appropriate, actually.

OOC: Hint, Mr Duck. If you're in the UN - compliance is not voluntary, it is manditory. You don't have a choice. So hath sayeth "God/Owner of NationStates".

From the UN FAQ:

The UN is your chance to mold the rest of the world to your vision, by voting for resolutions you like and scuttling the rest. However, it's a double-edged sword, because your nation will also be affected by any resolutions that pass. (You can't just obey the resolutions you like and ignore the rest, like real nations do.)

Pretty cut and dried there.

Then there's this:


Hmm?
Earth?
Many of the nations here aren't on earth at all...

Wow. I've posted thrice in a row.
Somebody tranq me.

*blowgun*



Wait.... if this is the tranquilizer dart, what is that sticking out of his neck?

Damn. Gonna have to label these darts one of these days...

Ooh, another gem!
Description: UN Resolution #89: Rights of indigenous peoples (Category: Human Rights; Strength: Significant) shall be struck out and rendered null and void.

Argument: They can kiss my ass!
Wow, that won me over.
Or not...

There's also "Ak-47's for eveyone!"

Actually, I saw one very similar to this when I joined the UN. Chances are he or a group of his friends keep posting it.

As Bon Jovi once sang " It's my life"Hmm. *Goes away to start writing "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" proposal.*

Hmm. *Goes away to start writing "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" proposal.*
Aww...
I don't want thornless roses to be illegal!
:D

Category: Recreational Drug Use
Decision: Outlaw
Proposed by: Rhudaer


Description: The amount of deaths caused by drugs is staggering, and increasing. Too many young people take these drugs for socialism, and too many athletes use them to maniulate their bodies. This following proposal suggests taking a zero-tolerance policy to any kind of illegal drug.

I. Any person(s) found with the possession of drugs in a public place, or area with numerous people, shall instantly be arrested and taken to a police station. There the offending person(s) shall be interrogated by two highly trained individuals who specialise in such interrogation methods. This session shall be recorded on tape. If both interrogators privatley agree, the person found in possession of the drugs shall have a court hearing in the maximum of three weeks. He/she will be held in the police station until that designated time. At the court hearing, the offending person(s) are allowed a lawyer, and able to call witnessess to his/her defence. However if the jury find guilty, the person(s) shall be executed the following day, with all their possessions going to the federal government.
II. Any students or employees of all schools shall be subjected to a simple questionnare on their first day ar the school. This questionnare shall ask questions of history of drug use, and signed oath never to use such matierials within the grounds of the school. If a student or employee is found with any illegal substances, they shall face an immediate fine equivalent thereof of 500 Great British Pounds, or 250 U.S. dollars. The stundent/employee shall then have a hearing with the pricipal and a jury of 5 specialized public school juges. If found guilty, the stundent/teacher shall then be immediatly expelled/fired, pay an additional fine of 2000 U.S. dollars, and be prevented from attending any types of colledges or universities.
III. Any person caught selling any type of drugs or illegal substances shall be arrested, and immediatly after interrogation pay a fine of 3000 dollars U.S. If found guilty in a court of law sentenced, deciding upon the opinion of the judge, be executed, senteced to life-without-parole, or 15 yrs, with the restriction of holding a job with a salary more than 40,000 U.S. Dollars once released.

Effective...or not. Drugs are legal over here, and we don't have skyrocketing death tolls...
Executing those that use drugs will kill more people.
And isn't it just a bit extreme?

Category: Social Justice
Strength: Significant
Proposed by: Fritz von Splurgenhof

Description: We would redefine the word 'poverty' as a medical condition.
Thus doctors would be able to proscribe certain cash sums in order to relieve the burden of poverty from members of UN nations.
As everyone knows, doctors are completely incorruptible and are never politically or morally biased and would therefore be able to oversee a redistribution of wealth through national health budgets. This redistribution would create a more level playing-field for poorer individuals to remove themselves from the downward spiral into poverty.
A vote for this proposition is a vote for a truly effcient and incorruptible redistribution of wealth.
I love that one sentence. "As everyone knows, doctors are completely incorruptible..."
I hope that was a pisstake.
Category: Gun Control
Decision: Tighten
Proposed by: International Crap

Description: Guns do nothing but harm people so I suggest we throw them away for a safer and happier enviroment.

Without guns, criminals are helpless which will almost certainly lower crimes. Deaths are caused all over the world everyday because of reklessness. Nobody appriciates the true power of a gun!

I have seen banks in America offering guns if you join their bank! It's terrible and it should be stopped!

Ban guns, live safely!
Because we all know that there's not a way to commit crime without a gun...

I missed the gun ban proposal. And what is this "America" the resolution speaks of?

...This is an insult to human rights...
...This is an insult to the needs of the people around the globe...
...It is an insult to freedom of speech and political thought...
...and it is an insult to Luther Dorms and the Secret Society of Redemptura!!!

They have stripped us of our rights, by declaring the United Nations Dress Code a "joke proposal"! The mockery! Then, without just cause, they ban both my account and the account of my brother who lives with me in the dorms, saying we have broken the rules of the UN...this is most disturbing....most insulting! The fact that the UN administrations may flaunt about its power without full knowledge of a situation. Father knows best state indeed! Father can't even tell apart his own children I say! It is the demands of our region and our nations that we be reinstated with full priviledges! Our voices will be heard!

And as for the dress code, we too will continue to fight for it! Regardless of how silly and out of fashion you might find it to be, it is the right of the global community to demand whether or not the leader they so kindly refer to as "El Presidente" will wear a pink tutu in public or not!

Our network of allied states had also been working on other serious pressing issues to discuss and propose within the UN, this includes the banning of "Enlisted Punishment" While Capital Punishment, or death, is banned in many states, alongside Corporal Punishment, the application of brute force, is frowned upon. A silent but deadly system known as Enlisted Punishment reeks into the core of society. This system entails the use of making a person feel really bad about themselves by saying mean things to them! Such inhumanity! Where is Amnesty International working to protect these children?! Where is the UN to protect the rights of those people!

Let's face it, the UN has lost its way, focusing on the popular issues just to get some time in the limelight of global television networks. It is time it took a step back and remembered the little people, and the small issues that really count! Where was the UN to help pay for your bar tab?! Where was the UN when you ran out of shaving cream?! Where was the UN when you needed a back massage?! I'll tell you what the UN was doing! The United Nations was looking out for the UNITED NATIONS!!!

Join me! We can create reform, bring the world back to the way it should be. Quit whining about what kind of bullets US troops are killing babies with in Iraq, and start worrying about how many lumps of sugar came with your coffee this morning! Think of your neighbours! Think of the children to grow up in this world! You're all selfish!

My brother, Nikolai, leader of Blood Gulch Oupost agrees, and states that "If you don't, I'll come in with a Warthog and run over your head like a tomato can!"

I am Neal,
Sultan of Luther Dormitories
Former UN Delegate
Former UN Member
Always Faithful to the Hopes of a Better Society
Proud Bearer of the Pink Tutu
Defender of the Faith
etc....
etc....

And this...was my first, and potentially last post, if the UN decides to kill me tonight...you will all know why. It's because they don't think a tutu is hot.

"Description: The amount of deaths caused by drugs is staggering, and increasing. Too many young people take these drugs for socialism, and too many athletes use them to maniulate their bodies. This following proposal suggests taking a zero-tolerance policy to any kind of illegal drug."

Lol! What's next? Drinking for communism? Smoking for anarchy?

Lol! What's next? Drinking for communism? Smoking for anarchy?
Underage sex for fascism! Minor felonies for libertarianism!

Ha, somebody has a proposal to ban chemical weapons, which is a bit funny, as they're already banned.


Wait, they *are* banned, right?

That would be biological weapons that are banned.

It was kind of a silly proposal, really. Biological weapons are all but worthless as a military weapon without severe levels of wank.

That would be biological weapons that are banned.

It was kind of a silly proposal, really. Biological weapons are all but worthless as a military weapon without severe levels of wank.
Whoop! I was confused on which weapons were banned there.
Sorry about that.

EDIT:
My thread was honored by a visit from the UN Gnomes!
:eek: