NationStates Jolt Archive

I had posted this a week or so ago, and would like to bring it up again for further discussion. I haven't submitted it yet.

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DESCRIPTION: To protect all animals from deliberate torture, or undue harm

GIVEN the fact that as people we are protected against torture and undue harm,

CONSIDERING that animals have enriched our lives through companionship, aid of the elderly and/or disabled, and through labor for only the basic necessities in return, they should be given the basic rights of protection against undue harm, torture, or neglect

RECOGNIZING that some species of animals are used as food and/or religious practices

Definitions

1 ~ “Torture” is defined as purposefully causing death, physical, or mental pain on a pet, farm, or wild animal for entertainment

2 ~ “Undue Harm” is defined as causing mental or physical harm by keeping a pet or farm animal in unhealthy conditions, not providing the necessities of life or general health care, and/or causing bodily harm for punishment/training

3 ~ “Bodily Harm” is defined as broken bones, intentional cuts, burns, or bruising
3.1 With the exception of marking farm animals or pets for identification purposes which includes but is not limited to branding, tagging, and tattooing

4 ~ “Neglect” will be defined as not providing the necessities of life, including but not limited to water, food, shelter, and basic medical care

5 ~ A “pet” is defined as animal(s) kept for the enjoyment and/or companionship of a person

6 ~ A “farm animal” is defined as animal(s) kept by a person to help said person, supply food, or to generate income

7 ~ A “wild animal” is any animal not confined or maintained by a person

Implementation

1 ~ the Animal Welfare Task Force shall be set up as a part of existing police forces in each nation
1.1 the AWTF will work with the nation’s government to set punishments for offenders
1.2 the AWTF will be responsible for the investigation and prosecution of animal cruelty
1.2.1 the AWTF will not have the right to inspect any house, farm, or land privately owned unless the AWTF has obtained a warrant
1.2.1.1 sufficient evidence to obtain a warrant will be defined as photographs or videotaped evidence provided by a citizen or at least three (3) eye witness accounts of animal cruelty

2 ~ the AWTF will be responsible for the inspection of sacrificial animal(s) prior to the sacrifice, in the animal’s living environment
2.1 any neglect or abuse noted by the AWTF of the sacrificial animal(s) will allow the AWTF to prosecute the people(s) in charge of the sacrificial animal(s)
2.2.1 the AWTF will be responsible for removing neglected and/or abused animals and moving them to either an animal shelter, or other such animal refuge site

3 ~ Animal Testing will only take place for medical research into new medications or medical practices
The animal being used must be provided with the necessities of life

4 ~ Hunting will only be applicable to wild animals and any animal which can be defined by section 6 (Dangerous Animals)

5 ~ Animal Sacrifice will be for religious practices only
5.1 the AWTF will inspect all animal sacrifices before the event in the animal’s living environment
5.2 Before it is sacrificed, the animal(s) will be protected by the Animal Welfare Act
5.3 the person(s) responsible for the animal sacrifice will be charged with animal torture if the animal is sacrificed before it is inspected by the AWTF

6 ~ Dangerous Animals will be defined as any animal that poses a significant threat to humans or property owned by humans
6.1 a significant threat against a human will include life or death situations, or health hazards
6.1.1 any force necessary will be allowed in a life or death situation
6.1.2 a health hazard will be defined as any creature living in close proximity to a person that causes the person’s health to decline
6.1.2.1 reasonable force will be allowed to remove or exterminate the creature
6.1.3 a significant threat to property will include damage to a building, damage to farm or home equipment, damage to crops or livestock, or damage to a water source
6.1.3.1 reasonable force will be allowed to remove or exterminate the creature

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DESCRIPTION: To protect all animals from deliberate torture, or undue harm

RECOGNIZING that some species of animals are used as food and/or religious practices
Hunting for sport is not mentioned, capturing animals to sell to zoological societies is another item, also euthanizing animals kept in shelters and last but not least animals used in lab testing..


1 ~ “Torture” is defined as purposefully causing death, physical, or mental pain on a pet, farm, or wild animal for entertainment

No dice, this would include big game or hunting for sport.



2 ~ “Undue Harm” is defined as causing mental or physical harm by keeping a pet or farm animal in unhealthy conditions, not providing the necessities of life or general health care, and/or causing bodily harm for punishment/training

One word.. Circus


3 ~ “Bodily Harm” is defined as broken bones, intentional cuts, burns, or bruising
3.1 With the exception of marking farm animals or pets for identification purposes which includes but is not limited to branding, tagging, and tattooing

So setting up my 20mill cannon on the back of a jeep and hunting elk would be a no-no?



Implementation

1 ~ the Animal Welfare Task Force shall be set up as a part of existing police forces in each nation
1.1 the AWTF will work with the nation’s government to set punishments for offenders
1.2 the AWTF will be responsible for the investigation and prosecution of animal cruelty
1.2.1 the AWTF will not have the right to inspect any house, farm, or land privately owned unless the AWTF has obtained a warrant
1.2.1.1 sufficient evidence to obtain a warrant will be defined as photographs or videotaped evidence provided by a citizen or at least three (3) eye witness accounts of animal cruelty

No dice, our government will kick their butts out of here faster than they can say beastiality.


2 ~ the AWTF will be responsible for the inspection of sacrificial animal(s) prior to the sacrifice, in the animal’s living environment
2.1 any neglect or abuse noted by the AWTF of the sacrificial animal(s) will allow the AWTF to prosecute the people(s) in charge of the sacrificial animal(s)

We love our voodoo rituals here in Henrytopia, the AWTF would be one hell of a busy organization.. you will need a small army to keep up with them.


4 ~ Hunting will only be applicable to wild animals and any animal which can be defined by section 6 (Dangerous Animals)

On of my favorite South Park quotes.. "Look out, they are headed straight for us!" - Jimbo
If it has teeth, it could be rabid so it is hence dangerous and I am now able to shoot it with extreme prejudice.. regardless if it is a squirrel.


5 ~ Animal Sacrifice will be for religious practices only
5.1 the AWTF will inspect all animal sacrifices before the event in the animal’s living environment
5.2 Before it is sacrificed, the animal(s) will be protected by the Animal Welfare Act
5.3 the person(s) responsible for the animal sacrifice will be charged with animal torture if the animal is sacrificed before it is inspected by the AWTF

What is to keep aardvark hunters from starting a cult that requires blood sacrifice of a freshly killed animal?


6 ~ Dangerous Animals will be defined as any animal that poses a significant threat to humans or property owned by humans
6.1 a significant threat against a human will include life or death situations, or health hazards
6.1.1 any force necessary will be allowed in a life or death situation
6.1.2 a health hazard will be defined as any creature living in close proximity to a person that causes the person’s health to decline
6.1.2.1 reasonable force will be allowed to remove or exterminate the creature
6.1.3 a significant threat to property will include damage to a building, damage to farm or home equipment, damage to crops or livestock, or damage to a water source
6.1.3.1 reasonable force will be allowed to remove or exterminate the creature

Oh my God, that rabbit is running at me, quick, grab the shotgun before it attacks me!

Seriously though, this won't fly in any way shape or form.. I will campaign against it vehemently.

Hunting for sport is not mentioned, capturing animals to sell to zoological societies is another item, also euthanizing animals kept in shelters and last but not least animals used in lab testing..

Hunting is mentioned.

Capturing animals to sell to zoological societies would have to abide by the laws of this resolution. (for example, keeping wild animals without being fed, watered, or not getting appropriate health care before shipment to zoos) This is not a resolution to protect a species from capture, or extinction.

Lab testing is mentioned.

Euthanizing animals kept in shelters would fall under health care, and would be up to the discretion of the vetrenarian.

No dice, this would include big game or hunting for sport.

Hunting is allowed. Read further down.

One word.. Circus

Training animals does not require extreme physical punishment. This will depend on the animal, obviously. An elephant may respond well to a mild shock that doesn't really do any harm, while using that shock on a dog will likely kill it or severly injure it.

So setting up my 20mill cannon on the back of a jeep and hunting elk would be a no-no?

Keep reading. Again, hunting is protected in this resolution.

No dice, our government will kick their butts out of here faster than they can say beastiality.

If this resolution comes to pass than you will have to have an AWTF. And btw, beastiality is protected by "Definition of a Marriage".

We love our voodoo rituals here in Henrytopia, the AWTF would be one hell of a busy organization.. you will need a small army to keep up with them.

Yup. Since the AWTF will be a part of the police force (meaning, police officers trained for this new law) you will already have a small army to do this.

On of my favorite South Park quotes.. "Look out, they are headed straight for us!" - Jimbo
If it has teeth, it could be rabid so it is hence dangerous and I am now able to shoot it with extreme prejudice.. regardless if it is a squirrel.

If you read the Dangerous Animal clause you will see that you need specific reasons to kill a squirrel.

What is to keep aardvark hunters from starting a cult that requires blood sacrifice of a freshly killed animal?

This resolution, obviously. Cults aren't that great anyway.

Oh my God, that rabbit is running at me, quick, grab the shotgun before it attacks me!

Seriously though, this won't fly in any way shape or form.. I will campaign against it vehemently.

I have yet to see you state a solid reason why this resolution wouldn't work.

CONSIDERING that animals have enriched our lives through companionship, aid of the elderly and/or disabled, and through labor for only the basic necessities in return, they should be given the basic rights of protection against undue harm, torture, or neglect


This should probably be two clauses. There should be a new action word before "they should be". This could be "DECIDING...", "DETERMINING...", or "REALIZING animals..." but it should be split up.


RECOGNIZING that some species of animals are used as food and/or religious practices

Good. This is compromise, appealling to delegates and voters.

Looking over your proposal, I don't really see any DECLARES of REQUIRES clauses. These are really easy ways to state your objective and the legal strength of your statements. I'd suggest you change the above "split up" (which I originally suggested as DECIDING or what not) into your first action clause. That would make it look like this:

CONSIDERING that animals have enriched our lives through companionship, aid of the elderly and/or disabled, and through labor for only the basic necessities in return,

RECOGNIZING that some species of animals are used as food and/or religious practices,

1. DETERMINES animals must receive the basic rights of protection against undue harm, torture, or neglect;



Definitions

1 ~ “Torture” is defined as purposefully causing death, physical, or mental pain on a pet, farm, or wild animal for entertainment

2 ~ “Undue Harm” is defined as causing mental or physical harm by keeping a pet or farm animal in unhealthy conditions, not providing the necessities of life or general health care, and/or causing bodily harm for punishment/training

3 ~ “Bodily Harm” is defined as broken bones, intentional cuts, burns, or bruising
3.1 With the exception of marking farm animals or pets for identification purposes which includes but is not limited to branding, tagging, and tattooing

4 ~ “Neglect” will be defined as not providing the necessities of life, including but not limited to water, food, shelter, and basic medical care

5 ~ A “pet” is defined as animal(s) kept for the enjoyment and/or companionship of a person

6 ~ A “farm animal” is defined as animal(s) kept by a person to help said person, supply food, or to generate income

7 ~ A “wild animal” is [defined as] any animal not confined or maintained by a person


Bolded are the phrases that repeated for each definition. You can take advantage of your proposal real estate and make the definitions a little easier to manage if you them all sub-sections under a general DEFINES clause. Like this:


2. DEFINES:

a. “Torture” as purposefully causing death, physical, or mental pain on a pet, farm, or wild animal for entertainment

b. “Undue Harm” as causing mental or...


I personally like the way that lays out what your proposal does. You may not, and you're welcome to not incorporate it or any of my ideas into your proposal.


Implementation

1 ~ the Animal Welfare Task Force shall be set up as a part of existing police forces in each nation
1.1 the AWTF will work with the nation’s government to set punishments for offenders
1.2 the AWTF will be responsible for the investigation and prosecution of animal cruelty
1.2.1 the AWTF will not have the right to inspect any house, farm, or land privately owned unless the AWTF has obtained a warrant
1.2.1.1 sufficient evidence to obtain a warrant will be defined as photographs or videotaped evidence provided by a citizen or at least three (3) eye witness accounts of animal cruelty

-snip-

6 ~ Dangerous Animals will be defined as any animal that poses a significant threat to humans or property owned by humans
6.1 a significant threat against a human will include life or death situations, or health hazards
6.1.1 any force necessary will be allowed in a life or death situation
6.1.2 a health hazard will be defined as any creature living in close proximity to a person that causes the person’s health to decline
6.1.2.1 reasonable force will be allowed to remove or exterminate the creature
6.1.3 a significant threat to property will include damage to a building, damage to farm or home equipment, damage to crops or livestock, or damage to a water source
6.1.3.1 reasonable force will be allowed to remove or exterminate the creature

I think the best way to make this a little more reader friendly is to start it (much like the definitions section) with "ENFORCES these rights granted to animals as follows:" and keeping the rest of the implementation as it is. The problem with a lot of proposals is that their written as proposals, in future tense. Yes, that seems a little more realistic as it isn't law yet, but you need to make certain you take care of how exactly the proposal executes law once it becomes a resolution. Then it should be present tense. Since resultions are un-editable, proposals need to be written in present tense. I think my suggestions would make the "implementation" look something like this:



3. ENFORCES these rights of animals under the following guidelines:

1 ~ the Animal Welfare Task Force is set up as a part of existing police forces in each nation
1.1 the AWTF works with the nation’s government to set punishments for offenders
1.2 the AWTF is responsible for the investigation and prosecution of animal cruelty
1.2.1 the AWTF does not have the right to inspect any house, farm, or land privately owned unless the AWTF has obtained a warrant
1.2.1.1 sufficient evidence to obtain a warrant is defined as photographs or videotaped evidence provided by a citizen or at least three (3) eye witness accounts of animal cruelty

...

Seriously though, this won't fly in any way shape or form.. I will campaign against it vehemently.

It can and will if Jeianga puts will to action. The threat of "[campaigning] against it vehemently" is empty. All evidence I've seen campaigns against proposals only make a difference in close votes, after the proposal has reached quorum.

Jeianga, I think it's looking pretty good. After the drafting process this proposal just needs some good telegramming. I can scrounge up the names of the 100+ delegates who approved Hersfold's proposal which will really increase the effectiveness of a telegram campaign. I can offer some assistance as a telegrammer, but I'm not made of time right now. I'll probably have to cut my involvement to 200 telegrams or fewer. This might get the proposal started, but it'll most probably require over 400 telegrams to reach quorum.

The People's Republic of Communist Collectives does not give a damn about animal rights, and opposes the proposal.

Thank you again, Powerhungry Chipmunks! I have taken your advice and changed the wording of the proposal.

Does anyone else have any questions/suggestions/comments?

I will be submitting this on Monday the 31st.

Second Draft:

DESCRIPTION: To protect all animals from deliberate torture, or undue harm

CONSIDERING that animals have enriched our lives through companionship, aid of the elderly and/or disabled, and through labor for only the basic necessities in return,

RECOGNIZING that some species of animals are used as food and/or religious practices

1. DETERMINES that all animals must receive the basic rights of protection against torture, neglect and undue harm

2. DEFINES:

2.1 “Torture” as purposefully causing death, physical, or mental pain on a pet, farm, or wild animal for entertainment
2.2 “Undue Harm” as causing mental or physical harm by keeping a pet or farm animal in unhealthy conditions, not providing the necessities of life or general health care, and/or causing bodily harm for punishment/training
2.3 “Bodily Harm” as broken bones, intentional cuts, burns, or bruising
2.3.1 With the exception of marking farm animals or pets for identification purposes that includes but is not limited to branding, tagging, and tattooing
2.4 “Neglect” as not providing the necessities of life, including but not limited to water, food, shelter, and basic medical care
2.5 A “pet” as animal(s) kept for the enjoyment and/or companionship of a person
2.6 A “farm animal” as animal(s) kept by a person to help said person, supply food, or to generate income
2.7 A “wild animal” as any animal not confined or maintained by a person

ENFORCES these rights under the following guidelines:

1 ~ the Animal Welfare Task Force is set up as a part of existing police forces in each nation
1.1 the AWTF works with the nation’s government to set punishments for offenders
1.2 the AWTF is responsible for the investigation and prosecution of animal cruelty
1.2.1 the AWTF does not have the right to inspect any house, farm, or land privately owned unless the AWTF has obtained a warrant
1.2.1.1 sufficient evidence to obtain a warrant is defined as photographs or videotaped evidence provided by a citizen or at least three (3) eye witness accounts of animal cruelty

2 ~ the AWTF is responsible for the inspection of sacrificial animal(s) prior to the sacrifice, in the animal’s living environment
2.1 any neglect or abuse noted by the AWTF of the sacrificial animal(s) allows the AWTF to prosecute the people(s) in charge of the sacrificial animal(s)
2.2.1 the AWTF is responsible for removing neglected and/or abused animals and moving them to either an animal shelter, or other such animal refuge site

3 ~ Animal Testing is only allowed for medical research into new medications or medical practices
3.1 the animal being used must be provided with the necessities of life

4 ~ Hunting is allowed, but only applicable to wild animals and any animal which can be defined by section 6 (Dangerous Animals)

5 ~ Animal Sacrifice is for religious practices only
5.1 the AWTF is responsible for the inspection all animal sacrifices before the event, in the animal’s living environment
5.2 the sacrificial animal is protected by the Animal Welfare Act before its death
5.3 the person(s) responsible for the animal sacrifice will be charged with animal torture if the animal is sacrificed before it is inspected by the AWTF

6 ~ Dangerous Animals is defined as any animal that poses a significant threat to humans or property owned by humans
6.1 a significant threat against a human includes life or death situations, or health hazards
6.1.1 any force necessary is allowed in a life or death situation
6.1.2 a health hazard is defined as any creature living in close proximity to a person that causes the person’s health to decline
6.1.2.1 reasonable force is allowed to remove or exterminate the creature
6.1.3 a significant threat to property includes damage to a building, damage to farm or home equipment, damage to crops or livestock, or damage to a water source
6.1.3.1 reasonable force is allowed to remove or exterminate the creature

Please stop regurgitating this silliness.

Or, if you must continue, join forces with the gelgameks.