The Standard Father Christmas
Festive Greetings fellow nations (and a warm hi to those who don't do Christmas),
Bahgum has, after a break decide to re-embark on it's mission to provide the UN with alternative proposals. We feel that the proposal outlined below is a splendid idea for the time of year, and fervently hope that constructive advice on how to hone it to perfection will be forthcoming from likewise enlightened nations. Enjoy.....
The Standard Father Christmas
A resolution to reduce barriers to free trade and commerce.
Category: Free Trade
Strength: Mild
Proposed by: Bahgum
Description:
Reason:
To enable the free and unimpeded access to the role of Father Christmas in all UN nations by laying down internationally agreed standard regulations.
Background:
It is apparent from even the most rudimentary of Santa surveys, that there is a vast variation in the quality and presentation of Santas. This is not helped by the lack of detailed regulations of how a Santa should be portrayed, with current ideas open to wide speculation and interpretation. A full set of agreed guidelines would be beneficial to all who work in the Santa business, allowing for a proper job market to emerge and the lowering of barriers between nations and people who may have otherwise have had very different perceptions of Father Christmas stemming from earlier mistaken interpretation of folklore.
Proposed Regulations:
Father Christmas should have a girth, padded or real of at least 45 inches.
Laps should be comfortable and warm, and capable of withstanding at least 15 small children per hour.
His outfit should be red with white trim, black leather boots a must, with a wide (at least 3 inches black belt).
He must be capable of a baritone 'Ho Ho Ho'
Beards must be bushy and at least neck length, preferably real, or at the very least capable of resisting the most persistent of five year olds.
He must be able to name all his reindeer, explain why another Father Christmas is at the store down the street, and encourage the art of letter writing.
Frisbeeteria
07-12-2004, 19:09
Father Christmas should have a girth, padded or real of at least 45 inches.
Pursuant to UN Resolution #24 Metric System (http://www.nationstates.net/cgi-bin/index.cgi/page=UN_past_resolutions/start=23), this value should be expressed in centimeters. Given that the conversion comes to the awkward value of 114.3cm, we propose rounding it to 115 cm. We do not feel that would significantly impair the overall intent, but rules must be followed.
(Father Christmas should always be rounded upwards.)
(at least 3 inches black belt)We would accept the standard NATO conversion of 7.62cm on this one without alteration.
Apart from that, no objection. Frisbeeteria would be inclined to support.
In Tekania we celegrate Christmahanaquanzika...
DemonLordEnigma
07-12-2004, 20:08
Festive Greetings fellow nations (and a warm hi to those who don't do Christmas),
Bahgum has, after a break decide to re-embark on it's mission to provide the UN with alternative proposals. We feel that the proposal outlined below is a splendid idea for the time of year, and fervently hope that constructive advice on how to hone it to perfection will be forthcoming from likewise enlightened nations. Enjoy.....
Actually, it's not. It's not even really worth the UN's time. Not meant as a flame.
The Standard Father Christmas
A resolution to reduce barriers to free trade and commerce.
Category: Free Trade
Strength: Mild
Proposed by: Bahgum
Description:
Reason:
To enable the free and unimpeded access to the role of Father Christmas in all UN nations by laying down internationally agreed standard regulations.
My nation does not celebrate Christmas. We have no historical or religious basis for the holiday.
Background:
It is apparent from even the most rudimentary of Santa surveys, that there is a vast variation in the quality and presentation of Santas. This is not helped by the lack of detailed regulations of how a Santa should be portrayed, with current ideas open to wide speculation and interpretation. A full set of agreed guidelines would be beneficial to all who work in the Santa business, allowing for a proper job market to emerge and the lowering of barriers between nations and people who may have otherwise have had very different perceptions of Father Christmas stemming from earlier mistaken interpretation of folklore.
The problem is the earliest known folklore doesn't even agree with itself.
Proposed Regulations:
Father Christmas should have a girth, padded or real of at least 45 inches.
Laps should be comfortable and warm, and capable of withstanding at least 15 small children per hour.
His outfit should be red with white trim, black leather boots a must, with a wide (at least 3 inches black belt).
He must be capable of a baritone 'Ho Ho Ho'
Beards must be bushy and at least neck length, preferably real, or at the very least capable of resisting the most persistent of five year olds.
He must be able to name all his reindeer, explain why another Father Christmas is at the store down the street, and encourage the art of letter writing.
Please put your measurements in the metric system.
Frisbeeteria
07-12-2004, 20:10
Actually, it's not. It's not even really worth the UN's time. Not meant as a flame.
Why, you're just no fun at all.
Please put your measurements in the metric system.Look up two posts, maybe?
_Myopia_
07-12-2004, 20:18
I'd say that Father Christmas and that whole section of "winter celebration" is by now almost entirely removed from specifically Christian celebrations. So I think the proposal should talk about Father Christmas as a feature of a celebration that can be enjoyed by lots of different people, whatever their religious beliefs (just so nobody complains about Christian traditions being forced on them, and because uniting people in celebration is simply a good cause for the NSUN).
And to be a little boring, can these be explicitly labelled as guidelines not regulations, because I don't want to be sending inspectors round to enforce regulations on Father Christmas' girth.
EDIT: With suitable alterations, you do have _Myopia_'s support. Good luck!
Aligned Planets
07-12-2004, 20:25
My nation does not celebrate Christmas. We have no historical or religious basis for the holiday.
Bah - you ridicule EVERY proposal!
The Federation of Aligned Planets fully endorses this UN Proposal
DemonLordEnigma
07-12-2004, 20:25
Why, you're just no fun at all.
Look up two posts, maybe?
I'm no fun because I put up with crap proposals in work all day. You should see the proposal I just got down disapproving of.
To be honest, I saw that, but felt like being an ass.
DemonLordEnigma
07-12-2004, 20:26
Bah - you ridicule EVERY proposal!
The Federation of Aligned Planets fully endorses this UN Proposal
You obviously have not checked my posting history. Some resolutions I support without arguement. Yours, under the current form, I was not even going to argue about at first.
Aligned Planets
07-12-2004, 20:27
You obviously have not checked my posting history. Some resolutions I support without arguement. Yours, under the current form, I was not even going to argue about at first.
Matey - I was honestly joking...don't take it seriously!
If you took offence, then I apologise.
DemonLordEnigma
07-12-2004, 20:32
Matey - I was honestly joking...don't take it seriously!
If you took offence, then I apologise.
This is why I should not post online while at work. My sense of humor is usually dead by lunch.
OK, no surprises for Bahgum on most of the comments so far. We expected more from the boredom brigade to be honest.
We realise that not everyone celebrates Christmas and also that Father Christmas is not necessarily attached to religious sentiment. All we are aiming to do is allow for a regulation of Father Christmas for those who celebrate him, or for nations where those who wish to do so, can. If your nation does not celebrate him, then you'll not be seeing one at a store near you anyway!
We have had some correspondance helpfully reminding us that Santa Claus is an Americanized version of the name, we sympathize with this, but when regulated, we'll have to stick with the most readily recognised name(s)...sorry :( Perhaps we should stick to Father Christmas..simple and popular?
We also paused on the girth thing as to what system to use, and shall happily convert it the relevant metric scale.
As for the comment that the folklore doesn't agree with itself, well...exactly, and that is why we need to standardise the whole mess, and who better than the UN (actully...no..don't answer that........)
DemonLordEnigma
07-12-2004, 22:10
How about doing what history has done for the last 10,000+ years and let folklore regulate itself?
"Father Christmas" in Fass follows the Scandinavian tradition and is considered to be a benevolent gnome, and hence dresses as such. Since we wish to preserve our cultural heritage and uniqueness, we will urge our delegate not to support this anti-diversity resolution.
What's Christmas?
A pagan tradition usurped by Christians that has something to do with a man nailed to a tree and some person/thing giving gifts to children in celebration of that tree, which is often decorated in the most tacky way.
Flibbleites
08-12-2004, 07:42
A pagan tradition usurped by Christians that has something to do with a man nailed to a tree and some person/thing giving gifts to children in celebration of that tree, which is often decorated in the most tacky way.
Actually Christmas is the celebration of the man's birth.
And I would like Bahgum to know that I support this proposal.
Actually Christmas is the celebration of the man's birth.
And I would like Bahgum to know that I support this proposal.
Actually Christmas is a commercialized holiday during which people consume great amounts of chocolate, purchase novelty items to exchange, and sing simple songs while enjoying communal hot chocolate. It used to be about a man being born. Before that, it was a series of 'pagan' rituals and myths that can be traced back to early goddess mythologies. Before that, people wondered where babies came from.
The major benefits of this event are pleasurable foods and major economic boosts. It is the opinion of Thgin that regulating the dimensions of the protagonist of this event would have negative effects on many novelty products consumed during this event (such as chocolate santas), and thus does not support it. We must protect our right to consume and market Father Christmas in any way we want to in order to maintain the decadence of this commercial holiday.
I wish I hadn't asked now :}
Anyway - whether this passes or not we don't actually have Father Christmases since - well since we don't have whatever this Christmas is.
Wow. The first proposoal I actually want to asbstain on. Cool :}
Mattikistan
08-12-2004, 11:47
"We find this an unacceptable attempt to alter the cultures of member nations. The reason there is no universal standard is because not everybody uses the exact same Americanised figure as a model, for example the Dutch 'Sinterklaas'.
"It is one thing to make resolutions based on civil rights or environmental issues, but it is a completely different thing to try and rewrite people's cultures for the sake of 'free trade'."
Ambassador Leyton
United Nations Representative of the Confederacy
Powerhungry Chipmunks
08-12-2004, 13:11
Daggum, Bahgum, you've stirred a bit of a ruckus with this'n. I Never knew so many people were opposed to the regulation of large people with warm laps.
The Kingsland
08-12-2004, 16:48
Bahgum has, after a break decide to re-embark on it's mission to provide the UN with alternative proposals. We feel that the proposal outlined below is a splendid idea for the time of year, and fervently hope that constructive advice on how to hone it to perfection will be forthcoming from likewise enlightened nations. Enjoy.....
Great, next thing you know he will be submitting a proposal on birthday suit specifications :eek:
"A resolution to reduce civil liberties.
strength: Strong
All newborns must exit the womb and enter the world without wearing any sort of clothing, jewelry, or man-made bodily art. There must be at least one hair upon the head and a smathering of mucus covering the skin."
Darn...Granbia has beat us to it on the birthday suits :)
Keep it up folks, like the discussions! Glad to provide a good example of a proposal where UN intervention is truly debatable!!
"A resolution to reduce civil liberties.
strength: Strong
All newborns must exit the womb and enter the world without wearing any sort of clothing, jewelry, or man-made bodily art. There must be at least one hair upon the head and a smathering of mucus covering the skin."
So you can't be born silver spoon in hand? The capitalists are going to kill us for this one...
Ecopoeia
09-12-2004, 15:26
Why, this is preposterous! An arrant waste of the UN's valuable time and yet another example of the liberal elite attempting to regulate and standardise the last traditional bastion of our noble cultural heritage.
To arms, dear friends! Let us not go quietly into the night, cowed, whimpering and subservient to the cruel yoke of...
continues in this vein for another ninety-four thousand words
Daul Pacre
Speaker for Po-Faced Reactionary Balderdash