Powerhungry Chipmunks
23-09-2004, 03:35
The Ferrous Galvanic Hive of Powerhungry Chipmunks Executive Press Office released a statement regarding the proposal "Chipmunk" currently being approved by UN regional Delegates:
From the desk of Secretary Idink TeaPees-needud:
"We, of the people of the Ferrous Galvanic Hive of Powerhungry Chipmunks, are appalled by this crass attempt to defame our glorious name. We Chipmunmkians are not in anyway concerned with the deforestation of rain forests in this presumed location of South America. We are, as I repeat myself, only interested in the Powerhungry Chipmunks trinity of needs:
1. Affordable post-secondary education
2. Warm and scrumptious forest goodies to snack on
3. A discrete (or a not-so-discrete) location in which to dispose of our--uh--waste
As I see the loss of the rainforest around the world affects approximately none of these interests of the Ferrous Galvanic Hive of Powerhungry Chipmunks I am forced to unequivocally request, of the fair proposer of this proposal, that our names be dropped from the title. Thank you and excuse me for the remainder of the night. I need some serious wipe-age here."
Shortly thereafter the Secretary was discovered dead beside a major road to the capital. The Department of Unseemly Investigations in Judicial branch of the Ferrous Galvanic Hive of Powerhungry Chipmunks government is currently investigating the incident. The Department's leading theories are Political assassination, Gang Violence, and Drive-by Runover...
*wanders off muttering "They love me! They really love me!"
Here's the proposal
Chipmunk
A resolution to increase the quality of the world's environment, at the expense of industry.
Category: Environmental Industry Affected: Woodchipping Proposed by: Fyarl
Description: The clearing of tropical forests across the Earth has been occurring on a large scale basis for many centuries. This process, known as deforestation, involves the cutting down, burning, and damaging of forests. If the current rate of deforestation continues, the world's rain forests will vanish within 100 years-causing unknown effects on global climate and eliminating the majority of plant and animal species on the planet.
The Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) estimates that 53,000 square miles of tropical forests were destroyed each year during the 1980s. Of this, they estimate that 21,000 square miles were deforested annually in South America, most of this in the Amazon Basin. Based on these estimates, an area of tropical forest large enough to cover North Carolina is deforested each year!
Deforestation increases the amount of carbon dioxide (CO2) and other trace gases in the atmosphere. When a forest is cut and burned to establish cropland and pastures, the carbon that was stored in the tree trunks (wood is about 50% carbon) joins with oxygen and is released into the atmosphere as CO2.
The loss of forests has a profound effect on the global carbon cycle. From 1850 to 1990, deforestation worldwide (including the United States) released 122 billion metric tons of carbon into the atmosphere, with the current rate being approximately 1.6 billion metric tons per year. In comparison, fossil fuel burning (coal, oil, and gas) releases about 6 billion metric tons per year, so it is clear that deforestation makes a significant contribution to the increasing CO2 in the atmosphere. Releasing CO2 into the atmosphere enhances the greenhouse effect, and could contribute to an increase in global temperatures.
Worldwide, 5 to 80 million species of plants and animals comprise the "biodiversity" of planet Earth. Tropical rain forests-covering only 7% of the total dry surface of the Earth-hold over half of all these species. Of the tens of millions of species believed to be on Earth, scientists have only given names to about 1.5 million of them, and even fewer of the species have been studied in depth.
Many of the rain forest plants and animals can only be found in small areas, because they require a special habitat in which to live. This makes them very vulnerable to deforestation. If their habitat is destroyed, they may become extinct. Every day, species are disappearing from the tropical rain forests as they are cleared. We do not know the exact rate of extinction, but estimates indicate that up to 137 species disappear worldwide each day.
The loss of species will have a great impact on the planet. We are losing species that might show us how to prevent cancer or help us find a cure for AIDS. Other organisms are losing species they depend upon, and thus face extinction themselves.
The deforestation of tropical rain forests is a threat to life worldwide. Deforestation may have profound effects on global climate and cause the extinction of thousands of species annually.
Because the loss of rain forests is driven by a complex group of factors, the solutions are equally complex. The future requires solutions based on solving the economic crises of countries holding rain forests, as well as improvement of the living conditions of the poor people often responsible for deforestation.
So come on ppl, stop with cuttin down forests for woodchipping!!!!!! Vote with me!!
From the desk of Secretary Idink TeaPees-needud:
"We, of the people of the Ferrous Galvanic Hive of Powerhungry Chipmunks, are appalled by this crass attempt to defame our glorious name. We Chipmunmkians are not in anyway concerned with the deforestation of rain forests in this presumed location of South America. We are, as I repeat myself, only interested in the Powerhungry Chipmunks trinity of needs:
1. Affordable post-secondary education
2. Warm and scrumptious forest goodies to snack on
3. A discrete (or a not-so-discrete) location in which to dispose of our--uh--waste
As I see the loss of the rainforest around the world affects approximately none of these interests of the Ferrous Galvanic Hive of Powerhungry Chipmunks I am forced to unequivocally request, of the fair proposer of this proposal, that our names be dropped from the title. Thank you and excuse me for the remainder of the night. I need some serious wipe-age here."
Shortly thereafter the Secretary was discovered dead beside a major road to the capital. The Department of Unseemly Investigations in Judicial branch of the Ferrous Galvanic Hive of Powerhungry Chipmunks government is currently investigating the incident. The Department's leading theories are Political assassination, Gang Violence, and Drive-by Runover...
*wanders off muttering "They love me! They really love me!"
Here's the proposal
Chipmunk
A resolution to increase the quality of the world's environment, at the expense of industry.
Category: Environmental Industry Affected: Woodchipping Proposed by: Fyarl
Description: The clearing of tropical forests across the Earth has been occurring on a large scale basis for many centuries. This process, known as deforestation, involves the cutting down, burning, and damaging of forests. If the current rate of deforestation continues, the world's rain forests will vanish within 100 years-causing unknown effects on global climate and eliminating the majority of plant and animal species on the planet.
The Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) estimates that 53,000 square miles of tropical forests were destroyed each year during the 1980s. Of this, they estimate that 21,000 square miles were deforested annually in South America, most of this in the Amazon Basin. Based on these estimates, an area of tropical forest large enough to cover North Carolina is deforested each year!
Deforestation increases the amount of carbon dioxide (CO2) and other trace gases in the atmosphere. When a forest is cut and burned to establish cropland and pastures, the carbon that was stored in the tree trunks (wood is about 50% carbon) joins with oxygen and is released into the atmosphere as CO2.
The loss of forests has a profound effect on the global carbon cycle. From 1850 to 1990, deforestation worldwide (including the United States) released 122 billion metric tons of carbon into the atmosphere, with the current rate being approximately 1.6 billion metric tons per year. In comparison, fossil fuel burning (coal, oil, and gas) releases about 6 billion metric tons per year, so it is clear that deforestation makes a significant contribution to the increasing CO2 in the atmosphere. Releasing CO2 into the atmosphere enhances the greenhouse effect, and could contribute to an increase in global temperatures.
Worldwide, 5 to 80 million species of plants and animals comprise the "biodiversity" of planet Earth. Tropical rain forests-covering only 7% of the total dry surface of the Earth-hold over half of all these species. Of the tens of millions of species believed to be on Earth, scientists have only given names to about 1.5 million of them, and even fewer of the species have been studied in depth.
Many of the rain forest plants and animals can only be found in small areas, because they require a special habitat in which to live. This makes them very vulnerable to deforestation. If their habitat is destroyed, they may become extinct. Every day, species are disappearing from the tropical rain forests as they are cleared. We do not know the exact rate of extinction, but estimates indicate that up to 137 species disappear worldwide each day.
The loss of species will have a great impact on the planet. We are losing species that might show us how to prevent cancer or help us find a cure for AIDS. Other organisms are losing species they depend upon, and thus face extinction themselves.
The deforestation of tropical rain forests is a threat to life worldwide. Deforestation may have profound effects on global climate and cause the extinction of thousands of species annually.
Because the loss of rain forests is driven by a complex group of factors, the solutions are equally complex. The future requires solutions based on solving the economic crises of countries holding rain forests, as well as improvement of the living conditions of the poor people often responsible for deforestation.
So come on ppl, stop with cuttin down forests for woodchipping!!!!!! Vote with me!!