NationStates Jolt Archive

A second draft.

Zombie Familiarization Act

Concerning the existence of Zombies, or "Reanimated Persons", and the regulation of their employment in both government and private sectors.

-To officially recognize the presence of peoples who fit the criteria of being Reanimated Persons

-To establish complete segregation of Reanimated Persons from the living

-To establish no set minimum wage for Reanimated Persons, other than a steady supply of organs (animal in origin or otherwise)

-To forbid Reanimated Persons from participating in any national elections

-To forbid Reanimated Persons from assembling en masse as a form of protest

-To forbid Reanimated Persons from serving on a jury as a peer to a living citizen

-To establish a mandatory consecration sentence for Reanimated Persons who harm a living citizen

-To forbid Reanimated Persons from running for elected office or become otherwise involved in a nation's political system

-To establish UN-regulated programs for the production Reanimated Persons for purposes of labor or military service


Shut up, they exist.

This sounds like a joke proposal to me... zombies don't exist... and joke proposals aren't all that appropriate for the UN.

This sounds like a joke proposal to me... zombies don't exist... and joke proposals aren't all that appropriate for the UN.

Don't exist?

Fine, if you want to live in your own private fantasy world where zombies don't exist, go right ahead. But they're here, in our neighborhoods, dating our daughters, taking our jobs, and killing our house pets for sustenance. Soon they'll be crowding our health and education systems, and running for political office. There's no stopping them.

When a zombie takes your job, marries your daughter, and kills and eats your dog, then you can tell me they don't exist. But I want to do something about them now, before my daughter becomes legal. You feel me?

Could someone please call security? There seems to be a madman ranting and raving, and it's disrupting our regular business of violently opposing anything that doesn't glisten with perfection.

I will not endorse this resolution, because:

A) It is not worthwhile becuase Zombies do not exist, and
B) Even if they did exist, I do not agree with the restrictions placed on their rights.

Don't exist? Don't exist?! That's just the type of discrimination that causes digression in the world. You people are so quick to judge. I mean, even Hitler acknowledged the existence of Jews in the world, and he did something about it. It's bad enough that you won't give these beings their equal rights in society, but you, you are so horrible that you deny the existence of zombies altogether. I am appalled and shocked at you all. You should be ashamed of yourselves. You recognize gays and lesbians, you recognize African-Americans, why can't you find it in your hearts to recognize zombies as well? I say open your ears, listen to what this brilliant man has to say. He is the Abraham Lincoln, the Martin Luther of our day. Do not mock him because he recognizes the flaws in our society and attempts to repair them. Praise him and support him for having the integrity and the courage to fight for zombies (with the proper restrictions, mind you) all over the world.

Leonard Nimoy, you have my vote, my friend, you have my vote. And I suggest that you all follow my example and stand behind this brilliant mind. A mind that simply seeks justice for and from all zombies everywhere.

I do not agree with this proposal, because I feel that the term " Reanimated Persons " to be applicable to a further demographic then " zombies " alone.

Then again, I also thinks its racist, and promotes stereo-typing of both the " un-dead " and those which have been brought back to life after the period we know as death.

:)

The priesthood would like to offer as a counterproposal the following:

A Resolution In Favor of Reanimate Statute Harmonization


The Assembly, having taken note of the deplorable and inequitable variance in national statutes regarding the undead, the reanimated, and the living-impaired, do hereby resolve that laws, regulations and tyrannical whims appertaining to the reanimate be harmonized and standardized throughout all members in good standing of the United Nations;

…that the reanimate have the same rights, duties, and responsibilities as any living or sentient inanimate entity claiming subjecthood or citizenship under the laws of the state, republic, or tyranny in which they maintain existence, depending on local statutes, laws, or tyrannical whims regulating subjecthood and/or citizenship in said state, republic, or tyranny;

…that the reanimate have no more right to the organs, fluids, essences, or spiritual anima of fellow sentient subjects, citizens, or slaves than otherwise established by local statute, law, or tyrannical whim for any living or sentient inantimate subjects, citizens, or slaves;

…to establish the full rights of the reanimate to exist in any condition in which they might wish, that they be subject to no further legal discrimination in housing, enfranchisement, marital status, legal rights, or incarceration other than what they would normally be required to endure as a result of the statutes, laws, or tyrannical whims regulating the general public in their localities;

…that the reanimate enjoy all employment or entrepreneurial rights available to any other living or sentient inanimate subject, citizen or slave of their legal status, including the right, where locally available, to be recompensed for work in the manner of their choosing, the right to charge interest, and to employ others, where local statutes, laws, and tyrannical whims so allow;

…that the franchise of the reanimate should match in every particular the franchise of any other living or sentient inanimate subject, citizen, or slave of their legal status, and that the conditional franchise be not dependant on whether the subject, citizen, or slave be living, dead, or reanimate;

…that the reanimate have all the rights established by law, statute, or tyrannical whim of living or sentient inanimate subjects, citizens, or slaves to not be bound to service without cause, as well as all the duties and responsibilities in the area of national service likewise so established by law, statute, or tyrannical whim for the living or sentient inanimate.

Wheres Ash when you need him?

With all due respect, our government's budget is strained enough with the needs of the living. Extending social welfare benefits to the (un)dead would be cripping to our developing economy.

And besides, I really don't think you want them allowed to shop at S-Mart.
:sniper:

Though I am pleased that the existence of zombies is finally being recognized, it seems that the recognition brings only the desire to guarantee them their rights. This is contrary to my original proposal.

However, perhaps equal rights for the Undead are truly the way of the future. If it is such an inevitability, I would be willing to acquiesce to this revised view on zombies.

Though I am pleased that the existence of zombies is finally being recognized, it seems that the recognition brings only the desire to guarantee them their rights. This is contrary to my original proposal.

I'm afraid that's my fault. This debate about the existence of zombies has been going on longer than anyone can ever imagine. You see, this issue hits a nerve with me because, well, I married a zombie. I fell in love with Rupert the day I met him when I was sent out by my father to beat him with a broomstick after he killed our family dog, Muffin. I do miss my Muffin, but her death brought greater joy into my life. Muffin gave up her life so I could be with my Rupert.

Rupert and I currently have three children and are working on a fourth. We did have several housepets, but put them all up for adoption after I found little Mandy gnawing on the cat. Being with my family has opened my eyes to the cruelty zombies must suffer everyday. My kids come home from school crying because of the other children taunting them. My husband can not find a decent job because of what he is - a zombie. As for myself, I have been banished from the rest of my family for my unforgivable act. I'm so grateful that this issue has been brought to light and zombies have gained recognition everywhere. I'm sorry if I was too forward in appealing for equal rights for the undead, and I hope that my current position in life can provide a sufficient explanation.

Public Relations Spokesunperson Glargh Unghungh of The Republic of Leperflesh has released the following message to the general press:

The Republic of Leperflesh Welcomes Zombies

The Republic of Leperflesh invites the undead from all over the world to come and make their homes as citizens. Unlike most other nations, the Republic of Leperflesh's unpopulation contains a strong majority of unliving. Our democratic society and low crime rates will be a welcome change from the oppressive unlife led by far too many living-impaired peoples of Earth. After completing an extremly simple and straightforward application process, virtually all nonliving animated persons can swiftly be naturalized and join our growing and prospering nation.

Although the Republic of Leperflesh is not presently a member of the Unitied Nations (due to some nearsighted omissions and details in certain UN resolutions), we hold many of the same ideals of a free, equal, and fair society. Of course the living are also welcome to come and visit the Republic, and even become citizens, it is our unique unliving culture which appeals to so many of the undead that makes us such a desirable place for the non-living to make their homes or graves.

###

In other news, the Foriegn Minister of the Republic of Leperflesh, Anna KirkBlarrgh, released a brief statement condemning the poorly-considered UN bill to further reduce Zombie rights within member nations. When asked if the Republic of Leperflesh planned to take any action in consideration of the bill, KirkBlarrgh indicated the possibility had not been ruled out, but that there was nothing which she could discuss at this time.

additional information on the background of the Republic of Leperflesh can be found here:

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=347762

The Free Nation of Bloodfetish will not support this resolution.

The undead are people, too.

Paulizona is absolutely against. Any and all zombies, biological, supernatural, or otherwise will be destroyed on site. They are parasites endangering human life, and offering no beneficial uses. Paulizona has been actively researching destruction methods and cures since the early 1980s and is more than prepared to refuse entry to zombies.

The thought of zombies and other such Reanimated persons being treated as equals makes me uncomfortable at best.

However, such support for equality between the living and the dead has forced me to think more on the issue. The Undead of our nation are currently kept well below the mainstream; in fact, much of the population has no idea that they exist.

Despite my time spent on thinking about the issue, I still lean towards the restrictions of my original proposal. If someone in support of equality could enlighten me as to why they would prefer the Reanimated as equals, perhaps my stance on this issue could solidify.

What threat do reanimated beings pose to say humans? More to the point, Miervatian children have been traditionally taught to fear zombies, skeletons, and ghouls. They've been raised with the belief that these beings are unnatural and are often controlled by some sort of wizard or necromancer. These tales often associated zombies and ghouls with the practice of eating humans.

And with that in mind, if a zombie were to wander through the Pitt, he / she (or perhaps "it" in the case of zombies that are missing some of their key gender based vital organs) might be subject to extreme prejudices by many citizens and certainly would not be entitled to freely snack on human remains (even if those remains were imported) without very strict government observation.

[OOC: Actually, whomever brought this idea forward ... this is no less different than people talking about elves or vampires. Seems like a good way to add some fun to the game to me!

This is actually an interesting surrogate for racial / religious conflicts.]

Zombies are real.

http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=342813&page=1

The priesthood strongly believes in equality before the Elder Ones. Sentient entities ought to be judged and treated according to behavior, not perception or group affinity. Thus, living or sentient inanimate cannibals and murders ought to be treated in exactly the same fashion as flesh-eating zombies, and vice versa. Since we seem to have a statute in favor of consensual cannibalism on our nation's books, we can hardly discriminate against the feeding habits of the reanimate, given the latitude offered to the living.

Once madness is a given, the only compass left is equality before the law. When you can't trust your senses in a non-Euclidian world of perceptual madness, the only protection against stumbling is a level playing field.

For the animate and reanimate alike.

Gregor Re speaks for the people of the Rogue Nation of Chilan Kahn:

"On behave of the people of Chilan Kahn, and of the fact that mysticism and other supernatural and demonic forces are shunned in our humble country, I support this resolution for restricting the personal freedoms of the undead. While the undead have yet to truly be in our country, we would enjoy leaving it that way. Chilan Kahn says Yea."

The Republic of Leperflesh wishes to make known its strenuous objection to the charactarization of living humans enslaved and made mindless through the use of advanced biological weapons as 'zombies'. Our nonliving citizens are reanimated persons, posessing free will, sentience, and hardly any massed, shambling, murderous rampage tendencies. We deplore the use of the word 'zombie' as a pejorative, as it causes an association in the minds of many people between true undead persons (such as the majority of our citizenry) and, variously: ridiculous movie horror-monsters, insulting racist myths regarding the religious practices of creole peoples, fictional accounts of 1940s-era German science projects, and cautionary parables such as 'Frankenstein's Monster' by Mary Shelley.

Let the people of earth come and visit the Republic of Leperflesh to see for themselves the true, peacful, non-rampaging nature of the modern Unliving. Provided with proper unhealth care and medical treatment, the living-challenged are perfectly safe to be around, even for disease-prone living persons. Only when zombies are forced by oppresive, prejudiced societies to unlive in filth and poverty, with no access to proper embalming treatment, do we become susceptable to decay and the diseases which are associated with it. Only when zombies have no access to legally and ethically obtained replacement organs and body parts are they forced to resort to such shameful practices as grave-robbing and children's-pets-dismembering.

We categorically reject in the strongest possible terms the insulting, damaging accusation that we unliving persons have an insatiable hunger for, ahem, brraiiins. Each zombie possesses or should possess exactly one brrraaiiin, in his or her or its skull, and we have no need for additional brrrraaains. In particular, devouring a brrraaaaiiiin would provide no physical benefit to any unliving person - in fact the nonliving have no food, air, or water requirements whatsoever, as we have no functional metabolism.

we sincerely hope that UN members considering their positions with regards to this harmful zombie segregation and subjugation proposal take the time to educate themselves and learn the truth about we unliving persons, rather than basing their vote on superstition, rumor, and bigotry.

Gregor Re speaks out against Leperfish:

"With all due respect delegate, our reasoning is found out by people who have been attacked by these truly mindless war machines. Its not just a group of people like a countries population, these are weapons of mass destruction, just like any smart bomb loaded with Anthrax or Agent Orange would be. Either way, Chilan Kahn will not be deterred in its ruling. I support a limitation as a good start to controlling these weapons, though I would perfer to see them completely destroyed.

We feel that Ash/Bruce Cambell would ease all issues within this debate. He would be sensitive to thier needs and blow them away gently. so that they would feel no pain. I'm sure that George A. Romero would feel the same way about this considering zombies represent the mindless general public. They only have basic motor functions and are only dangerous in large groups. We are ready to lock and load w/ our 30 aut six and lay waste to thier tortured souls! Zombies are not people they are re animated dead they have no feelings or emotions they simply are moving biological forms. In event of such a fiasco, we say give them no quarter and keep moving at all costs!

Greetings all, from His Highness Of The Mud Groob Lermik.

In recent times, my fair country of Westerney has begun discussing trade possibilities with the country of Leperflesh. If this question were put to me before negotiations with them began, I would say something like, "Ooh! Right, and some tea for you as well maybe? NO NO! Come home to yours and theirs next time I see!" Now that we have spoken with the reanimated people of Leperflesh, I would say relatively the same thing, except at the end I would say "Nay".

And I'll do that now. Haha!

Charlie Ken, I'm ashamed of you. Bad Mongol! See me next Tuesday on this matter.

can reanimated people vote in this poll?

"Hell, if they don't eat brains, they can live anywhere they damn well please."

We kill zombies immediately upon sight of them in our territories.

With all due respect, our government's budget is strained enough with the needs of the living. Extending social welfare benefits to the (un)dead would be cripping to our developing economy.
The Corporate States of Frisbeeteria have now incorporated body-heat scanners (as well as other, less obvious devices) at all border crossings and immigration portals. Anyone failing to be recognized as having normal human radiation will be taken aside for further testing. Non-living ambulatory creatures will be summarily deported. While we recognize that some may consider that discriminatory, we cannot countenance the effect ongoing Zombie treatments would have on our health care system.

All members of our workforce are by definition Citizens, and due to the Required Basic Healthcare resolution all Citizens are given health care as a right. Despite the BioRights Declaration's possible inclusion of "re-engineered persons" as a subclass of cloned and genetically engineered persons, we of Frisbeeteria maintain that all citizens must be technically alive. Sorry, you bleeding (and non-bleeding) hearts, Frisbeeteria is an ongoing business. We simply can't afford to have random body parts drop off into our assembly lines. As they say, "loose lips sink ships".

While we would not support Leonard Nimoy's stringent restrictions towards the non-living, neither would we consider Rlyeh alternative which opens the door to the re-animated. Rather, we would welcome and encourage the promotion of existing and future havens, such as Leperflesh, for the preservation and promotion of un-dead rights.

The Republic of Leperflesh thanks the Nation of Westerney for its comments. Enlightened peoples such as those of Westerney will reap the rewards of open trade and fair dealings with the living-challenged people of Leperflesh. More close-minded nations such as Frisbeeteria shall suffer from their lack of diversity, but we are thankful that at least they do not plan mayem and violence against the occasional innocent undead who might stumble up to their borders.

For those who still advocate violence and cruelty; the Republic of Leperflesh, being a small and modest nation, can hardly hope to match arms against these military powers. And we recognize that legally, our nation has little recourse against those who would subvert due process and simply execute any suspected of being unliving. We can only appeal to the majority and ask that such nations be treated with the disdain and even cold, hard stares that all nations which abuse human (and unhuman) rights deserve.

Should anyone decide to go against the UN's decision of a Living-Challenged Friendly World (if they do in fact decide the world SHOULD be Living-Challenged Friendly), The Nomadic Peoples Of Westerney are willing to lend their army to the forces of Leperflesh.

To quote Mr. Henglalg Blargh (at least, I think that's who it was... Leperflesh's government is quite perplexing):

"Enlightened peoples such as those of Westerney will reap the rewards of open trade and fair dealings with the living-challenged people of Leperflesh. More close-minded nations such as Frisbeeteria shall suffer from their lack of diversity, but we are thankful that at least they do not plan mayem and violence against the occasional innocent undead who might stumble up to their borders."

Yeah, what he said! Advantages and closed-mindedness an' all! You all think you're so smart...


Signed,
His Highness Of The Mud, Groob Lermik

More close-minded nations such as Frisbeeteria shall suffer from their lack of diversity, but we are thankful that at least they do not plan mayem and violence against the occasional innocent undead who might stumble up to their borders.
We prefer practical to close-minded, thanks. All this talk about rights has its place on the national level, but isn't it just slightly unfair to force your needs and desires on the rest of the world?

Frisbeeteria is a oligarchical collective of Corporate States. The States have the right to define their own needs within a broad set of national and international parameters. We've tried Zombie labor, and productivity went down. Frankly, all those loose body parts gummed up the works. "Loose lips sink ships" doesn't just apply to spys and traitors.

Do you have any idea how much it costs to halt the line at the hovertank factory whilst you clean arms and elbows out of the works? It's not as if they feel pain. If they had, perhaps they could have shouted out a warning when the leg came off and closed down production. But no, they just kept working like the corporate drones they were, not enough willpower to look after their own needs.

Zombies don't survive well in Frisbeeteria. It's a fact. If they did, we'd employ them as happily as we do any other man, woman, or child. In a sense, it's we who are looking after the rights of the undead by refusing entry. I assure you, they will last longer somewhere else.

The Republic of Leperflesh respectfully asks Frisbeeteria whether their zombie workforce were provided with proper medical care? And also, what was their pay rate?

Although certainly we recognize that the undead worker has many disadvantages compared to those which are living, including as you pointed out, the lack of a sense of pain, as well as of course being slower, and having limited eyesight, zombie workers also posess a number of advantages which can more than offset these handicaps.

To name a few: the undead do not get tired and have no need for breaks, food, water, or even air. A zombie worker is typically content to perform the same mindless task for days, weeks, or even months on end. There is no need to control the atmosphere in a zombie-only work area. Zombie divers can work underwater indefinitely, using watertight suits to prevent saturation but needing no air supply. The undead are not prone to 'the bends' or other physiological problems which make high or low pressure environments dangerous to humans.

The undead possess unnatural inhuman strength. This can make even a slower zombie highly productive in certain occupations.

Perhaps if the nation of Frisbeeteria were to evaluate their various industries, they could find a number of instances where an unliving workforce would be extremely advantagious.

Of course, fairness dictates zombies recieve a proper wage. The unliving should be a voluntary workforce; the Republic of Leperflesh condemns any practice of Zombie Slaves for any purpose.

-Glargh Unghungh

The Republic of Leperflesh respectfully asks Frisbeeteria whether their zombie workforce were provided with proper medical care?
Now you're starting to see our problem, Leperflesh. What kind of medical care can you provide for something that can't heal? We tried sewing limbs back on. We tried superglue. It's just not the same once the parts start falling off. Required Basic Healthcare of Jun 5 2003 is almost impossible to adhere to with a Zombie workforce.

Other examples have also been addressed:
The unliving should be a voluntary workforce; the Republic of Leperflesh condemns any practice of Zombie Slaves for any purpose.Already done. End slavery, Jan 21 2003 and Ban Trafficking in Persons, Aug 1 2004
A zombie worker is typically content to perform the same mindless task for days, weeks, or even months on end.Nope. The 40 Hour Workweek, May 23 2004

And then there's Education For All. Underage zombies never grow older. Continuous education, maybe? They're not real good learners either. Yes, there are other advantages of strength and maintence, but they are offset by other factors.

Before you continue with the recriminations, allow me to point out that Frisbeeteria has been a continuous UN member since its founding, and has always observed the letter of International Law. Hell, we wrote some of it! We've taken great pains towards adopting and adapting to UN passed resolutions, at some significant expense, I might add.

The point I'm trying to make here is that this proposal is unworkable under existing UN law. Expanding the BioRights Declaration by including the undead has significant repercussions towards health care and several other issues. By adding Zombies to the rank of protected beings in the UN, every nation that employs the nonliving will be in violation of several of the proposals, the most significant of which is Required Basic Healthcare. That's not fair to the nations, to the zombies, or to the other citizens of the UN.

I'm sure Zombies were nice people, and we are as much against discrimination as any other nation. We're sticking to our gums, though. Zombie rights should not be granted in the NationsStates UN.

To the representative from Frisbeeteria:

Of course, the Republic of Leperflesh cannot yet join the United Nations for precisely the problems you pointed out (although, in our nation, 'age' is counted as 'years since reanimation', and free education is available to all persons regardless of antiquity). The 40-hour work week is a particularly thorny issue: when experimental workweek projects were attempted, many zombies completely forget to go home after a mere 8 hours of work, and often had no idea what to do with themselves the rest of the time. Besides, longer work-weeks (typically at least 150 hours a week) are the best way to counter the low speed at which most zombies do their work.

We also wish to point out that, as we stated earlier, the Republic of Leperflesh is Opposed to this legislation, although of course we have no UN vote. We have engaged in debate in this matter as a means to convincing others to oppose the legislation.

The Republic of Leperflesh would consider applying for UN membership if the 40-hour work week were rescinded, or if new legislation were enacted which clarified that the 40-hour work week only applies to living workers. However we still would oppose this proposal on the basis that it is discriminatory and clearly highly anti-zombie in intent.

-Glargh Unghungh

I'm a tad bit late to this debate, but I hope I can still add some constructive criticism of this proposal, whatever draft it may be.

What population of the NS world actually has to deal with zombies? I suspect it is a minority, and thus, has no need ot be on the world stage.

It should be a sovereign issue for those nations dealing with that specific problem; if they need help, ask for it, but don't bog down the UN with unnecessary funding and unneccesary force to deal with Zombies with 3/4s of us do not have this problem.