NationStates Jolt Archive


Proposal: The Right to Arm Bears

The Katholik Kingdom
16-07-2004, 00:57
The Right to Arm Bears
Category: Gun Control
Decision: Relax
Proposed by: The Katholik Kingdom
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Description: WHEREAS the ability to create an army of missle-launching machine-gunning bears was described by our focus group made up of fourteen year old boys as "Totally sweet!",

WHEREAS bears being killed would not be people being killed, it would cut down on deaths in war, if you use the type of logic that lets you nod your head without thinking,

WHEREAS If bears were outlawed, only outlaws would have bears,

WHEREAS you need to own a bear or have the IQ of a mint-flavored altoid (cinammon is smarter) for the above mantra to make sense,

THE UN WOULD ALLOW the use of armed bears in wars and in forestfire prevention commercials,

THE UN WOULD ALLOW the capture and training of wild bears to make up such bear armies,

THE UN WOULD OVERLOOK the whining of animal rights groups, and stick our collective fingers in our ears and call them all liars who couldn't argue their way out of a wet paper bag, even if the were arguing using a chainsaw as a visual symbol, and ignore the beejeezus out of them.

IN CONCLUSION, I would like to say that I for one would welcome our new bear overlords.
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Please, approve it. It's a serious issue that needs to be addressed.

http://www.discoverfun.com/freeinfo/cartoons/backgrounds/08armbearsDT800.jpg

Free campaign buttons for all!

http://www.friendsofanimals.org/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/armbears.gif
Callisdrun
16-07-2004, 05:11
Yes
Insainica
16-07-2004, 06:07
While we must admit we find most of your proofs indisuptable*

We wish to know your source of data with regard to mint altoids lacking the intellegence of cinammon altoids. OUR tests state that they are of equal intellegence (With mint having an advantage with regards to memory, but cinammon being better at abstract thought) and altoids sours having the greatest intellegence.

*Mainly because they were too amusing to think of a counter argument.
RomeW
16-07-2004, 06:47
We wish to know your source of data with regard to mint altoids lacking the intellegence of cinammon altoids. OUR tests state that they are of equal intellegence (With mint having an advantage with regards to memory, but cinammon being better at abstract thought) and altoids sours having the greatest intellegence.

You also forgot to mention that mint altoids simply taste better, therefore would make the person smarter.
Mikitivity
16-07-2004, 06:56
I must admit the *graphics* make the resolution in this case. I remember this resolution from my MUN days back in High School. Not this exactly one of course ... but day has sucked (won't explain). The laugh was welcomed! :)
Mattikistan
16-07-2004, 10:14
:D

You know what the worst part of it is? It's better than some serious resolutions... :D
Mikitivity
16-07-2004, 17:33
:D

You know what the worst part of it is? It's better than some serious resolutions... :D

Bear in mind that many people vote primarily based on the UN Category and impacts of the resolution. They pay *less* attention to the text.

(Of course, there was a stickie about this very proposal ... and I'd encourage anybody seriously considering submitting any joke proposal to read the stickies first.)
RomeW
16-07-2004, 21:24
Bear in mind

No pun intended, right? ;)
The Katholik Kingdom
17-07-2004, 00:53
Well, the proposals dead now, and I got an TG from mods to not make silly proposals.