NationStates Jolt Archive

If future International Terror Elite Force proposers would just copy and paste this, it'd save everyone time.

INTERNATIONAL COVERT ELITE TERROR STRIKE FORCE DELTA EIGHT

Category: International Security
Strength: Strong

The General Assembly,

RECOGNISING that the word 'terror' and derivatives thereof appear on CNN five times a minute,

AWARE that this means there must be a terrorist threat in the NS world,

CONVINCED that so-called 'international law' and 'human rights' only help terrorists, and were probably invented by them in the first place,

CONCERNED that many nations in the UN appear to be Islamic dictatorial communist homosexuals,

DETERMINED to bring peace, democracy and cool exploding helicopters to the world,

NOTING that covert forces make for much better videogames than conventional peacekeepers,

1. CREATES a vague and nebulous US UN agency, INTERNATIONAL COVERT ELITE TERROR STRIKE FORCE DELTA EIGHT,

2. DECLARES that INTERNATIONAL COVERT ELITE TERROR STRIKE FORCE DELTA EIGHT shall enjoy complete immunity from national, regional and international laws of all kinds, including recognition of national borders and all UN resolutions past and future, including this one,

3. OMITS to MENTION who shall run this body, since doing so would only help the terrorists; this will therefore protect democracy;

4. ENJOINS all nations to donate [arbitrary percentage] of their elitest troops to the body,

5. DECLARES that said body will be totally awesome, like Counterstrike crossed with Splinter Cell and [recent high-profile action film],

6. DECLARES anybody who doesn't agree with the UN to be a terrorist.

I love it.

Can a copy be placed in the museum?

Desdemona,
UN representative,
The Black New World
Do you know what ‘gay science’ is?
Meet The Reps (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=132588)

AGREE with the listed above about terrorists and the UN.

INTERNATION SECURITY STANDARDIZATION

Catagory: International Security
Strength: Strong

In an effort to standardize the security proceedures in all UN member governmental buildings,
the United Nations hereby resolves to make the following security procedures standard among
all member nations.

I. All walls, ceilings and floors shall be color coded.

A) This coding scheme shall be standardized to the following colors

1)Red
2)Orange
3)Yellow
4)Blue
5)Green
6)Gold
7)Lavender
8)Brown

B) The color coding shall be seperate on each surface (wall, floor, and ceiling)
for the purpose of deliniating specific security requirements.

II. All personnel in said buildings will wear badges and/or armbands for the purpose of
indicating the areas they are allowed into, and the necessary escourt needed for their
presence.

A)The system shall be standardized to this model:

1) All areas delineated by white walls, floors and ceilings shall be open to the public.

2) Areas posessing white walls and ceilings, with blue floors shall be restricted to any
personnel with pink badges.
a)This shall not apply in cases where the said personnel are escourted by
personnel posessing gold badges with pinstriped armbands, or in cases where
they are in the presence of personnel with greenbadges and silver armbands.
3) No personnel with pink, blue or lavender badges may enter any area with yellow, red or
orange walls, regardless of ceiling and floor color unless:
a)They are escourted by personnel with green or gold badges, and red armbands.
b)The personnel possess gold or silver armbands.

4) Areas where the walls are yellow shall be restricted to personnel who possess gold badges
and green armbands.
a)Exception can be made in situations where they are under armed escourt by any
personnel with gold badges and green armbands, as long as they are provided with
armed guards with gold badges and red armbands.

5) Any area, regardless of color, that possess a blue stripe shall be accessible only to
personnel with green badges and brown or gold armbands.
a)Exception shall be made when the blue stripe is 64mm from the level of the floor,
in which case escourt can be provided by personnel with gold green badges and brown
or gold armbands.
b)However, in areas where the blue stripe is 66mm from the level of the floor, only
green badges and gold armbands.
c)In cases where the blue stripe is at any other distance from the level of the floor
no escourt is permissable.

6) Areas marked by Red on any surface are offlimits to ALL personnel, anyone caught in the area
is to be shot onsite.
a)Exception shall be made where personnel in this area are under the escourt of personnel
possessing gold badges, in which case the gold badge personnel only are to be shot
and all others are to be interrogated and beat profusly with large smelly mutant trout.

II. Remember, security is EVERYONE's problem.

Which areas are the large smelly mutant trout allowed to access?

you know the UN is really powerless against strong countries, aka the US
US owns all basically with a mighty fist
if you can make it so that this is actually an INTERNATIONAL ANTI-TERROR FORCE and the power of the UN exceeeds all, then it may have my vote...

and you know, security does not exist
security is an illusion
having this force might be a complete waste of time..

iono...
I am just blabbing
sry

Groan.....not the color code system :(

What, you don't think it's effective? :o

<as he stands there with his green and gold badge, gold,silver and brown stripped armband and his large smelly mutant trout>

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/tekania.jpg

"Qui Desiderant Pacem Preparate Bellum"
("Those who desire peace, prepare for war.")

Anyone who doesn't think this is the best proposal ever is a commie terrorist punk.

Go Delta Eight!

International Peace Plan.

Catagory: International Peace
Strength: Strong

REALIZING that the United Nations is aboutas effective and usefull as a left-handed Nerf football bat.

RECOGNIZING that many of it's intents are to create black and white resolutions on highly controversial topics.

SEEING how this creates a world of confrontation, distain and hate.

We the delegates and members of the United Nations hereby RESOLVE to make membership in the United Nations Illegal amongst all members and delegates... and to pass on resolution control to INTERNATIONAL COVERT ELITE TERROR STRIKE FORCE DELTA EIGHT. With it's COOL exploding helicopters.


http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/tekania.jpg

"Qui Desiderant Pacem Preparate Bellum"
("Those who desire peace, prepare for war.")

Anyone who doesn't think this is the best proposal ever is a commie terrorist punk.

Go Delta Eight!

We prefer to call our customers "Communist Liberation Lobbyists."

Go Rehochipe!

Okay, hypothetical situation:

100 pirates, each with a sword, a knife, a musket, and a bottle of rum and with 20 cannons between them face off against 100 ninjas, each with a sword, a ninja star, a stick, and a masterful knowledge of the martial arts in a big field with nothing in it.

Who would win?

(this is going somewhere)

...Who would win?

The vendors of ammunition for muskets and cannons.

Or maybe those large smelly mutant trout.

Who would win?

If the field's relatively large, the two sides start off at a good distance, the cannons are full of grape-shot rather than cannonballs, and the cannon get reloaded quickly and efficiently enough... mrf, assuming the ninjas don't scatter too widely, the pirates. (Muskets and cannon aren't the most accurate of weapons, and they reload slowly, and are only much use by massed ranks against massed ranks. Which is why the machinegun revolutionised warfare). Otherwise, ninjas.

Unless they were Hackneyite pirates, of course, in which case they'd just offer the ninjas some rum and have a big piss-up.

Oh come on, let's make the contest more colorfull....

a band of 10 armed ninjas vs. a UGM-109A (TLAM-N) 20kt Nuclear cruise missile w/ DISMAC (Digital Scene Matching) and GPS guidance technology fired from a U.S. submarine 600nm away.....

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/tekania.jpg

"Qui Desiderant Pacem Preparate Bellum"
("Those who desire peace, prepare for war.")

Ninjas always win… They have that inner piece mind thingy…

Desdemona,
UN representative,
The Black New World
Do you know what ‘gay science’ is?
Meet The Reps (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=132588)

Once the 20kt fission-fusion warhead hits them they will reach that point of zen where they become one with nature....... (as their atoms are scattered to the wind, being vaporized and all....)

http://www.nationstates.net/images/flags/uploads/tekania.jpg

"Qui Desiderant Pacem Preparate Bellum"
("Those who desire peace, prepare for war.")

Which makes them immortal, they can't loose.

Well unless you destroy the universe.

Desdemona,
UN representative,
The Black New World
Do you know what ‘gay science’ is?
Meet The Reps (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=132588)

Bahgum proudly offers to donate an elite crack Mother in Law Regiment to the Terror Force, after all, what better way to scare the living daylights out af any would be terrorists?

By Eck,
Bahgum

The only reason I ask is my country's army is made up of two divisions, one made up of ninjas and one made up of pirates, and I figured I would donate one division to the TRERROR FORCE...but which one?

I love it.

Can a copy be placed in the museum?

Desdemona,
UN representative,
The Black New World
Do you know what ‘gay science’ is?
Meet The Reps (http://www.nationstates.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=132588)

I agree. The UN needs a Museum for dumb, amusing, and weird proposals and threads. Possibly a sticky?