General Mike
27-05-2004, 00:11
Greetings, fellow UN members. For your consideration, the following is a proposal I have recently submitted to the UN:
Help Trees Protect Themselves
A resolution to increase the quality of the world's environment, at the expense of industry.
Category: Environmental Industry Affected: Woodchipping Proposed by: General Mike
Description: Logging companies are evil, unscrupulous organisations. Well, maybe not all of them, but most of them are. If you tell them that you don't want them to go anywhere near a patch of forest, chances are the next time you look it'll be filled with tree stumps and bulldozers. And what can you do about it? Not much really. By the time you get there to try and stop them, it will be too late, another area of natural beauty will have been destroyed.
So, how are we to stop this barbaric practice? Easy. I propose that the UN should take a leaf out of my book and genetically engineer trees to be able to defend themselves. Then we shall plant these trees around the perimeters of areas we want to keep loggers out of. Would you dare challenge a tree if it was trying to throttle you with its branches? Of course not.
"But genetic engineering is evil!" I hear you say. Certainly, but in this case it is the lesser of 2 evils. "But what if the trees start to reproduce and we get overrun by these genetically engineered monsters?" you may ask. Well, you see, that's the beauty of it: we'll engineer the trees so they CAN'T reproduce.
Only with the support of UN nations can we stop these rogue loggers in their tracks and keep our forests safe. Please support this proposal. Thank you for your time.
- General Mike
I would be very grateful for any support of this proposal. Thank you. :)
BTW, this is my first ever proposal, so if it's badly worded etc, please tell me so I can make improvements for possible future proposals.
Help Trees Protect Themselves
A resolution to increase the quality of the world's environment, at the expense of industry.
Category: Environmental Industry Affected: Woodchipping Proposed by: General Mike
Description: Logging companies are evil, unscrupulous organisations. Well, maybe not all of them, but most of them are. If you tell them that you don't want them to go anywhere near a patch of forest, chances are the next time you look it'll be filled with tree stumps and bulldozers. And what can you do about it? Not much really. By the time you get there to try and stop them, it will be too late, another area of natural beauty will have been destroyed.
So, how are we to stop this barbaric practice? Easy. I propose that the UN should take a leaf out of my book and genetically engineer trees to be able to defend themselves. Then we shall plant these trees around the perimeters of areas we want to keep loggers out of. Would you dare challenge a tree if it was trying to throttle you with its branches? Of course not.
"But genetic engineering is evil!" I hear you say. Certainly, but in this case it is the lesser of 2 evils. "But what if the trees start to reproduce and we get overrun by these genetically engineered monsters?" you may ask. Well, you see, that's the beauty of it: we'll engineer the trees so they CAN'T reproduce.
Only with the support of UN nations can we stop these rogue loggers in their tracks and keep our forests safe. Please support this proposal. Thank you for your time.
- General Mike
I would be very grateful for any support of this proposal. Thank you. :)
BTW, this is my first ever proposal, so if it's badly worded etc, please tell me so I can make improvements for possible future proposals.