NationStates Jolt Archive

Fellow magnificent nations, the following proposal has been submitted by the Glorious Northerness of Bahgum:

PUBLIC HOUSE HUMAN RIGHTS

The status of pubs as an unfettered bastion of joy and relaxation is being slowly eroded by increasing moral, image and health issues which are perniciously crossing over from general daily life into the hallowed halls of the pub.
Therefore the wise nation of Bahgum proposes that:

Accusations of smelling of smoke, stale beer and having beer breath are classified as discriminatory and subject to a fine (say 5 pints).

It should be a Human right to come in late for work once a month due to a hangover (although the hours may be made up later), and what's more to be respected for having a zest for life.

Pool playing, darts, crown green bowling, skittles and dominoes should become an olympic pentathlon event.

A campaign to appreciate the beer belly is launched, and that fine examples are awarded World Heritage status.

We propose that this is a fine start to raising the pub to glory and appreciating it as a true human right, which, once passed can be creatively enjoyed and added to (as wise nations see fit), is very cheap and will generally raise the happiness of the world!

Pool playing, darts, crown green bowling, skittles and dominoes should become an olympic pentathlon event.

We propose that to these should be added Flipping The Beermat, Weird Pool Variants With Little Wooden Skittles, Urinal Golf, and Ogling the Barmaid.

We also propose the violent destruction of all bleeping, glowy fruit machines, and the forcing of all gigantic, flavourless chain crappy-bars-pretending-to-be-pubs (http://www.jdwetherspoon.co.uk/pages/body01.html) to take down their pub signs and replace them with garish neon declaring 'THIS IS NOT A PUB BUT RATHER A BAR THAT IS TOO CHEAP TO CLEAN REGULARLY'.

We also propose to form UNCAMRA, a secret yet all-powerful body that will filch the Stranger's Bar profits and fritter them away on beards, chunky cardigans, walking socks and kebabs of questionable hygiene.

[ooc] ...oops, that was my rather unenlightened puppet. Nothing to see here, carry on.

as you can see the proposal is designed to be added to by enlightened nations to further enhance the pub experience in their countries, as such your additions can be added once the basic principle is passed!

I like it.

This is stupid and has no significance in the UN.

I am inclined to agree with the representative from Tuesday Heights. How do you expect people to believe that the UN is more than beer-guzzling hooligans with displays such as this?

Far be it from us to provide an image of class and dignity as the world's progressive alliance.

Sincerely yours,
Daniel M. Hillaker
Minister of Foreign Affairs

Well some of us do like a little fun you see, and take pride in drafting a nicely written bit of frivolity to lighten the mood. But if you prefer the same old humdrum tedious 'look how righteous am I' issues, then, well, your choice. Please remember, it's a game and this kind of proposal has as much right as the current worthy (?) issue to be in the game.

Im all for giving true pubs to those unenlightend nations that merely have bars. pubs are part of a good social bond a place of discussion, comfort and relaxation surely not a liberty to be frowned upon.

Why pubs? We give some of our most scenic lands to our various party organizers every full moon for a 3 day trance festival. All are welsome to attend, and the acid-punch of Shmbhala is second to none 8) Goa/Psychedelic Trance and an Ambient area for relaxation..... can't wait for the next full moon!