NationStates Jolt Archive

I understand that many of you think that this body can do nothing and has no ethical need to respond to the crisis in Joccia.

Nothing could be further from the truth. My government has confirmed evidence of the tragedy occuring in Joccia and encourages you to examine the BBC reports coming from the region. Even now forces from several non-UN member states have initiated a blockade, while other forces are moving in to engage the blockade.

My fellow delegates ... while we can (and problably will) pull out I.G.N.O.R.E. cannons to protect ourselves, this now regional conflict does involve the United Nations.

For the past several weeks, many UN members, like Joccia, have creatively twisted UN resolutions. Though as a child I was told, "10k, you can't eat your pudding, if you don't eat your meat.", I put it forth to this assembly that we are doing the exact same.

Tonight I will release a SERIOUS proposal, that hopefully can stop this tragedy before it can spill over into other nations. There are actions the UN can take. One of them would be for nations to join Mikitivity and cease trade with Joccia. I'm not suggesting a blockade like Eredron has suggested, but a voluntary program that will follow established UN guidelines (we've already passed a resolution on how to conduct humane embargoes). We also can offer humanitarian assistance. My nation is already taking in Joccian refugees. And I encourage any peace loving nation to do the same.

But there is another course of action ... you could ENDORSE and encourage this kind of behavior. I say this, because our silence on this matter is doing exactly that. Frankly I'm ashamed of this body, but for those of you who continue to argue that there is nothing we can do, I want you to consider the following in the same tradition of Jonathan Swift:


An Immodest Proposal (A UN Tribute to Jonathan Swift)

The NationStates United Nations Forum,

AWARE that the UN is completely powerless to do anything,

CONCERNED that people might consider crimes against humanity or warfare more important than debating a bill on lowering the legal drinking age in developing nations like Trandosha,

RECALLING that in the past resolutions were passed to protect basic human rights, but that nobody can remember their names, or even cares,

OBSERVING that nations often reinterpret resolutions and on occasion have used the justification "the UN made me do it" as a defense against claims of genocide,

RECALLING that in many societies the legal defense "the devil made me do it" is considered grounds for insanity,

MAKING NOTE OF THE FACT that in Joccia insanity is grounds for euthanasia,

CONVINCED that in both situations that the UN and devil sound awfully alike,

1. ENDORSES the campaign of genocide currently underway in Joccia;
2. ENCOURAGES other nations to skirt the intent and spirit of UN resolutions and piss away into the wind any sense of unity in the UN;
3. ADOPTS a strict policy of non-interference in internal affairs, no wait make that a strict policy of approval in the unique and creative use of UN resolutions;
4. STRESSES that any nation saying negative things about mass murdering campaigns or government sponsored genocide programs will be spanked;
5. REQUESTS that the charred remains the victims of the Joccian Genocide program be brought to the UN sponsored night club Terror Dome and turned into a piece of gothic / industrial / post modern art with the words, "the UN made Mac III do it" stamped across the front of each skull;
6. RECOMMENDS that people wishing to look at the charred remains pay the UN a minimal fee, which can be collected and given to the sole survivors of the Joccian Genocide program, who also happen to be the people who killed their brothers and sisters;
7. FURTHER RECOMMENDS that once Joccia is finished killing all of the homosexuals, elves, grandparents, prostitutes, homeless, and unemployed in Joccia, that Joccia write and sell a book explaining "how to to it right the UN way"; and
8. EXPRESSES ITS HOPE that when Joccia then wages war on Eredron, that this assembly will also ignore it when the combined might of Joccia and Belem take over Eredron and renew the creative Joccian interpretations of UN resolutions designed to protect the civil rights of human beings.


My government does not support this position. I now call upon you to join my nation and offer humanitarian aid to those lucky enough to escape and to cease trading with a nation that is unwilling to follow the spirit and intent in good faith of UN resolutions.

10kMichael
UN Ambassador
Confederation of Mikitivity

Hello. My name is Genesis P. Punkachu, I am the Chair of the Supreme Soviet of Albion, which is the highest desison making body in this nation between congress. I have put this matter before the soviet and it has been approved. We shall stand with you Mikitivity, and if the statespeople of any other nations have blood in their veins they will do likewise.

The Theocracy of Shirresh will welcome within its borders any refugee from Joccia that does not suffer from incurable communicative diseases of the body.

In addition, we greatly subscribe to complete trade embargo and would support a United Nations resolution of Embargo and internation condemnation of Joccia.

In addition, we would support a resolution against genocide based on race, religion, national origin.

Finally, Shirresh would support a resolution of redfinition to define suffering under the prior euthanasia resolution to refer specifically to diseases of the body and strictly exclude insanity from that particular law.

Hello, my name is Mattmaka and I am the Executive Officer of the Free Land of WTF Mates.

We interpret the tradition of Jonathon Swift as a sarcastic outcry calling for a change in the power of the UN. The Immodest Proposal may seem to be a bit over the top, but that is because is that is how it was intended to be interpreted. It is not, nor ever was an actual proposal that was intended to pass. It's very presence is a satire of the political climate that exists within the UN. It is showing the problems the problems that exist with genocide and nuclear weaponry very openly and easy to see, while still allowing the reader to make up his or her own mind.

It calls for direct and dramatic changes with UN policy. The Immodest Proposal is asking the UN to combat genocide and nuclear weaponry more than ever before. The Free Land of WTF Mates has already sent humanitarian aid to Joccia and we call for the UN to set up an internal body to regulate all humanitarian aid sent by nations to Joccia.

Above all else, we insist that there is a peaceful solution to the problems that exist within Joccia and we feel that the UN should immediately begin in negotiations with Joccia concerning its treatment of its own people. Possible Embargo of Joccia resolutions by the UN are supported by the Free Land of WTF pending the result of these future negotiations. If Joccia still ceases to change its policy concerning genocide and the use of euthanasia so loosely, or at all, internal condemnation and Embargos should be implemented as suggested by the Theocracy of Shirresh.

Never should the populace of a nation be horribly treated as that in Joccia and the Free Land of WTF Mates lends its support in any effort to a peaceful solution in the region.

The Federation of Centralamerican States officially subscribes to the trade embargo against Joccia, in response to the accions being taken inside of it's borders. Furthermore, it authorizes the sending of humanitarian aid to Joccia, to be overseen by officials of the Federation Ministry of Foreign Affairs and the international Centralamerican media outlet, GCMG, to ensure a fair and equal distribution of all of the materials to the Joccian people.

The Federation will permit the entry of any refugees into its border, prior to a extensive medical and psycological examination and a 2-week stay in a rehablitation center.

William A. Graham
Federation Ministry of Foreign Affairs

tag :twisted: