NationStates Jolt Archive

I am reporting to you from Killmaknock, Joccia. I am standing outside the Shed of Commoners, inside the Joccian Parliament are debating the latest amendment to the Euthanasia Laws.

The Right Honourable P Peabody (Minister for Well Being) has put forward a motion stating that, in so far as there is so far no cure for the common cold, it must be considered an incurable disease within the meaning of the Euthanasia Act 2004, and that all persons suffering from a cold, sneezes, a bit of a cough, or blocked nose should have there suffering terminated.

Following the last amendment - a1b subsection 2/ii, the BBC understand that 128,341 persons of Elvish descent have been either deported or killed.

It would seem that there is no end to the slaughtering possibilities offered by this country's perverse interpretation of the UN resolution legalising Euthanasia!

The BBC asks "Is the UN powerless to stop this exploitation of it's poorly worded resolutions"

The official definition of Euthanasia refers only to people suffering from uncureable diseases that end in death. I dont believe that the cold results in death too often.

OOC Are you telling me that according to your Euthanasia Act 2004, anyone suffering an incurable disease has to terminate their life?

OOC Are you telling me that according to your Euthanasia Act 2004, anyone suffering an incurable disease has to terminate their life?

OOC: lol. Surely no government is that dum! Also, Euthanasia is about choice. The people can choose whether they die or not.

OOC Are you telling me that according to your Euthanasia Act 2004, anyone suffering an incurable disease has to terminate their life?

No, no, no, dear chap/chapess

They are obviously given the choice, first.

OOC: That is just disturbing.

OOC Are you telling me that according to your Euthanasia Act 2004, anyone suffering an incurable disease has to terminate their life?

No, no, no, dear chap/chapess

They are obviously given the choice, first.

OOC:In that case the fact that they are all dying is due to the stupidity of your citizens. Try increasing education, that way they will know that colds go away.

OOC: I was gonna pick yes in the poll but I was hungry. What's the last option for anyway?

OOC: I was gonna pick yes in the poll but I was hungry. What's the last option for anyway?

That option is for the nations who don't read UN resolutions through, just vote "YES" cos it's cool!

OOC Are you telling me that according to your Euthanasia Act 2004, anyone suffering an incurable disease has to terminate their life?

No, no, no, dear chap/chapess

They are obviously given the choice, first.

OOC:In that case the fact that they are all dying is due to the stupidity of your citizens. Try increasing education, that way they will know that colds go away.

Ah, Cousin Eddie, Coz, Ed me boyo,

They are the given the choice, first.

If they make the right decision, then the Euthanasia is voluntary.

If they make the wrong choice, then we, the Ministry of Social Well Being, tend to think that the balance of their minds is disturbed, so we rather have to take the decision out of their hands - savvy?

Anyway, our Parliament is at present only debating whether or not we should allow the amendment to pass, and seeing as the leader of the House currently goes by the nickname "Greensleeves" because of his rather heavy head-cold.........

Brother Monarch,

You are one sick puppy

My Dear Empress Leah,

You disappoint me :cry:

Sadness shall overwhelm my realm - NOT! :twisted:

We have just received news that an amendment has been added to the bill.

The amendment is as follows:

In acceptance that the Common Cold has no known cure, it is also known that it is of a somewhat short duration, and leaves no permanent debilitating effects, as such it must be argued that the Common Cold falls outside of the Euthanasia Bill 2004. However, in as much as the sight of a pre-school infant in the throes of the illness, whose parents may or may not have a hanky handy, is off-putting in the extreme, to the detriment of any observer, so the wording of this amendment to the Euthanasia Bill 2004 shall be altered to read as follows:

"The Common Cold has no cure and as such shall be considered to be an incurable illness under the Euthanasia Act 2004, ONLY in instances where the visible symptoms shall cause distress, or nausea in the general public or, from time to time any member of His Majesty's Government or an employee thereof, or any person who shall report such said distress or nausea to a member of the Police Force. Notwithstanding that the said incumbent of the disease shall be aged in years less than 10.

This ruling shall not include sensible persons who take an aspirin and go to bed, nor elder statesmen, who having no hanky handy shall use the cuffs of their robes of state."

The Joccian MPs have split up to vote on the issue - we shall bring you the result as soon as we have it.

server triple!

:evil:

Well, we have a cure for the common cold. And cancer. And AIDS.

But affordable cures? Hell no.

Well, we have a cure for the common cold. And cancer. And AIDS.

But affordable cures? Hell no.

We have found that Euthanasia is rather cheap compared to other cures :twisted:

We would like to offer you the aid of some of our teachers and a legal team to explain to your population the proper use of the Euthanasia act. We will also tell the how to vote out their governement and replace it with a a slightly smarter group.

Lord Julius of Palinu would like to point out that it is not the intelligence of their governement that is a factor; or rather, it is not that said intelligence is low...quite the opposite.
It takes a special kinda of brilliance to adapt to a situation in such a way. If Joccia accepts your offer, I would like to sell tickets to such an event. And refreshments. Are the media rights still available?

We would like to offer you the aid of some of our teachers and a legal team to explain to your population the proper use of the Euthanasia act. We will also tell the how to vote out their governement and replace it with a a slightly smarter group.

Problem is, y'see Eddie-baby, Absolute Monarchies don't usually have that many elections... Bad form and all that. Sort of "King rules by Divine Right" type of thing. Parliament certainly advises, but as for deciding things, well...

However, if you've a spare team of lawyers who can go over our laws with a fine tooth comb and point out where we are at variance with International Law as passed in the Legalise Euthanasia proposal by Grande, then we'll be quite happy to admit that you can actually teach us anything. If not, then may we suggest, as politely as possible, that you keep it buttoned :)

Lord Julius of Palinu would like to point out that it is not the intelligence of their governement that is a factor; or rather, it is not that said intelligence is low...quite the opposite.
It takes a special kinda of brilliance to adapt to a situation in such a way. If Joccia accepts your offer, I would like to sell tickets to such an event. And refreshments. Are the media rights still available?

Should the Edwardians actually be able to comprehend what you are saying, My Dear Lord Julius, then we will be amazed. Should they actually be able to come up with an instance where we are at divergence with International Law, then we will definately give your country first refusal on all media rights associated with the monkeys that fly out of my butt! :lol:

Is it just me or do the majority of U.N. and non U.N. nations end up being ruled by single or groupings of homicidal maniacs, I mean, I would for once like to be able to think that the people can think for themselves for long enough to realise that putting the other guys head on a spike is just not common sense.

After al if your killing people for having a cold then really, your a few common senses short of.. well, yeah, I geuss you see my point, ahem...

A Rep Of Komkom.

And might I add there was already an issue for the subject of Euthanasia in N.S. itself but you freeking idiots (The involved majority) all wacked your YES! buttons with out a regard for the consequences, so go spank thou self a round for me.

Hi Komokom,

Er, you and Eddy aren't related are you? I mean, I think you were both rather short-changed in the grandparent department, you're supposed to have more than one pair...

Dyelli Beybi aplauds the well thought out aproach to the bill. However, in Dyelli Beybi euthenasia is viewed as distinctly immoral, and the practice has been declared illegal again.

We have just received an incredible report from our man outside the Joccian Parliament. The Vote to include the common cold in the Euthanasia bill was defeated 7 votes to 6, - 397 abstentions.

However, a late amendment to the bill from back-bencher Skilly McWhillie was unanimously passed, and so the draft law has gone before King Mac III for approval.

The basis for the amendment was well argued and provenance was given citing the diplomacy of sundry other Nation States, as well as the unproven and spurious claims of certain manufacturers of "pore-cleansing" products.

The amendment states that whereas Acne is an incurable disease in the pre/post pubescent adolescent, and that it causes great embarrasment and suffering, the sufferers have the right to have their suffering ended, and the disease shall be included within the terms of the Euthanasia Act 2004.

Hey, the citizens of Joccia are happy. They obviously support their Government's policies on euthanasia.

Hey, the citizens of Joccia are happy. They obviously support their Government's policies on euthanasia.

Of course they're happy, we see to it... :twisted:

Yes, it certainly appears that those who speak on the matter do support their goverment, whole heartily.

Well to speak candidly, the UN is powerless to stop a nation from taking such drastic measures, but the Nation States are not.

We could always band a few regions together and pull an "Intervention", I mean, saving hundreds of thousands of lives is well worth going to war over in my view.

Cheers

Made my point

To those who understood - thankyou

To those that didn't - Thanks for making it fun!

I would like to put to vote the possibility that perhaps the point has not been made.
This vote is, of course, not mitigated by the fact I have found this thread entertaining and do not wish to see it end.
Heavens, no.

The always interested and heavily affected nation of Berkylvania is sad and dismayed to learn that the rulers of nation of Joccia, after defining themselves as an "uncurable cancerous sickness of the intellect" and wishing to remove the suffering their existance has inflicted not only upon their own citizens but on the world citizenry in general, have elected to euthanize themselves in a sacrificial fire pit similar to those found in Frankie and Annette beach movies from the 1950s and 60s. Berkylvania urges all nations to observe a brief moment of silence today to commemorate the passing of such a noble, if misguided, group of leaders.

In other news, Cubs win pennant, 13-1!!

Lord Vetinari would like to express his regrets to the families of the goverment officials who died in the fire on the beach. The intended use of this fire was to serve as a basecamp production centre for Julius Penultimate Popcorn Suprise packs (as supplied to us by JiffyPop, Inc) for the observers of Joccia, and was not meant as a sacrifical pit in any way, shape or form.
It has, however, lent a very delicate j'nais se quoi to the flavour of the popcorn.

Aye, Joccian Kings have always rid themselves of governments this way, right back to the days of the Saxon Kings. Parliament in those days was referred to as the 'Celebration' - hence political "Parties" the individual members were know as 'Cakes'. History teaches us the even the wise King Alfred "burnt the cakes".

The always interested and heavily affected nation of Berkylvania is sad and dismayed to learn that the rulers of nation of Joccia, after defining themselves as an "uncurable cancerous sickness of the intellect" and wishing to remove the suffering their existance has inflicted not only upon their own citizens but on the world citizenry in general, have elected to euthanize themselves in a sacrificial fire pit similar to those found in Frankie and Annette beach movies from the 1950s and 60s. Berkylvania urges all nations to observe a brief moment of silence today to commemorate the passing of such a noble, if misguided, group of leaders.

In other news, Cubs win pennant, 13-1!!

Be of good cheer dear nation of the Berks, 'twas but the flim-flam of Parliament and the Privvy Council who perished in the Conflagration. All Joccian politicians are chosen for their ability to self combust.

"Why marry, all of their hot air must eventually lead to burning ambition, Nuncle."

To alay your sadness I, King Mac III of Joccia shall send you a gift of a brace of Joccian Fighting Guinea Pigs,to entertain you in your humdrum existence.

:D bump

Banning from just a common cold and I believe the Un has the power to stop this if we all join together.

I would like to put to vote the possibility that perhaps the point has not been made.
This vote is, of course, not mitigated by the fact I have found this thread entertaining and do not wish to see it end.
Heavens, no.

It would appear, my dear Lord Julius, that according to the above missive from our friend Anthamoesa you were right!

Much as it pains me, I feel that the Dom Perignon is on me at the next council of nations...

Banning from just a common cold and I believe the Un has the power to stop this if we all join together.

Dear, dear whosever you may be, I am not aware of any "banning" from a common cold or anything!

My Government were voting on whether to Euthanise people suffering from this illness, and were defeated. They did lay before me an instrument calling for the death of adolescents suffering from acne, but, in spite of my better judgement, I refused to allow this.

Had you read the string you would have become aware of that fact.

Since that time, as has been intimated in other strings, we have revised our whole Euthanasia Legislation.

However, the point was proved that the UN could do nothing about our Euthanasia excused Genocide because we complied with International Law as layed down by the UN

bump

The ever rising and star farming nation of Berkylvania wishes to extend it's gratitude to Joccia for providing it with this excellent opportunity to increase the gross national post count.

Might I suggest that, if you lower the price of postage in Berkylvania, this might increase the amount of mail that passes through, hence creating more jobs, which you can then raise the price of postage, later, as the market will bear it, now that the entire country is based on everyone sending letters to each other.
You would, of course, have to squash high speed internet connections, but that's the price you pay for a strong economy.

Oh, wait, I'm sorry, I was just informed you meant another kind of post. My apologies.

The always watchful and eagerly implicating nation of Berkylvania wishes to most graciously and with complete wholeness of heart thank the amazingly intelligent nation of Palinu. We shall send your suggestion to committee immediately and report our findings.

Until that report is finalized, we joyfully celebrate any opportunity to increase the "other" kind of post count.

Now, now, dear ones, I'm sure that we are all glad of the chance to post, as long as it's not 'post haste' repent at leisure...

The supremely august yet scared of it's shadow nation of Berkylvania can't hear you, Joccia, on account of you all being euthanised and therefore dead. And we can't hear dead people. So we can't hear you. La, la, la. Talk all you want dead people, we can't hear you. La, la, la.

Careful lest we come and haunt you, and we'll bring the mother-in-law too!!!