Colodia
04-02-2004, 07:50
Let's check out some of the past UN resolutions...and see if they're doing the main job of the UN...keeping the peace
1. Fight the Axis of Evil - As the world becomes a more dangerous place, UN member nations must act swiftly in the interests of peace. This means, of course, building lots of new weapons. Only by massively increasing military budgets world-wide will we be able to restore peace and global security.
I laugh at this one...keep peace by building more weapons...Heh...
2. Resolution 245A Proper Grammar - Too long have UN Proposals been filled with improper grammar. One can scarcely move between two pages of proposals without seeing some sort of grammar or spelling error. People need to realize that "your" and "you're" are NOT the same word. People also need to realize that "to" and "too" are also not the same word, and that the "Vaticant" does not exist. Any country that files a proposal with such language shall henceforth be banned from proposals until such time as they understand the English language and can properly convey their ideas.
cool name...does it serve a point Scrotalia, both the resolution and name. I DONT c h0w people with b4d internet l4ngu4g3 should be baned from propozing
3. Sexual Freedom - What goes on between two (or more) consenting adults in the privacy of their homes should not be the concern of the state unless it is neccesary to enquire about the afore mentioned activities for medical reasons (e.g. if the individuals wish to give blood etc.)
Wait...how do we know if someone has AIDS or not if we never took notice in the first place?
4. Keep The World Disease-Free! - While the hygiene standards of the world has certainly improved in the last 100 years, there is more to be done. Every citizen in every land should have the right to: At least one toilet in their house; At least one washbasin in their house; At least one of either a bathtub or a shower; in order to comply with hygiene standards and prolong life expectancy. Furthermore, vaccinations should be made available to the public, although they don't have to be mandatory. Vaccinations against the big diseases such as: Malaria, typhoid, rubella, cholera, polio, et al. With the backing of the UN, we can give even our poorest inhabitants a nice, clean, healthy life.
Fallopian...if your reading this...tell me...do you actually think the government has the time to see that someone has a toilet to piss in when they have to watch out for the AIDS virus that's coming out of nowhere?
5. MANDATORY RECYCLING - Beit hereby resolved that all paper, glass, aluminum and batteries be recycled by all UN member states.
you did good to make it stand out...
6. CHILD LABOR - GIVEN that many nation states see fit to employ children under age 12 in manual labor and industry, GIVEN that these industries and labor are often highly detrimental to a child's body and health, BELIEVING that it is a fundamental right to be given the chance to grow up educated and free from unneccesary disease, injury, and possible death from industrial work, ASSERTING that it is immoral and atrocious to force children , by manipulation, authority or raw strength, to work for corporation or state, Be it hereby resolved that the UN shall guarantee the rights of children to NOT work in any mines, factories, chemical plants or ANY OTHER industrial occupation; moreover, it shall be prohibited for a child to take up labor in such an occupation.
OH OH! But I can't afford that BMW I always wanted! I'm having my 12th kid to get me another paycheck!
7. Religious Tolerance - Whereas, Freedom of Religion does not exist in all countries in the world. Whereas, Too many wars are started and fought because of religious differences. Whereas, There is a need for more religious tolerance on Earth. Therefore be it resolved that the United Nations support and promote a greater understanding of all religions and promote more tolerance of differences of religion. Be it further resolved that the United Nations oppose all wars fought in the name of God and religion.
How? "Diplomatic efforts"? Ha!
8. Replanting Trees - If any individual, private or public enterprise cuts down over 5 acres of trees, they will be required to have the same number of trees replanted. The responsibility of replanting trees will be held directly by those who cut them down.
So...it's my job to cut down trees...it's my PERSONAL duty to buy trees out of MY pocket money? WTF? What's the point of my job then?
9. Metric System - Science has already coverted over to the far superior metric system from all other localized forms of measurement. I propose that all countries within the United Nations be converted to the Metric standard. This would include all official research, roadways, and labeling. This would breakdown barriers in sharing of research and in the international marketplace. Tourism would also be benifited from the common standard. This proposal would mainly help countries of poor economic standing, whereas the common standard would improve their ability to compete in the international market place. Science would also benifit from a unifide standard to taught in public schools, no conversions would need to be made.
NEWSFLASH! Standard AND metric systems are BOTH being taught in U.S. schools! And I wouldn't call the standard system inferior...
10. The Universal Bill of Rights - Recalling the many egregious infringements of human rights, Recognizing the need to protect basic human rights, Deploring any acts by government at the sake of human rights, Determined to put an end to the violation of human rights, The United Nations shall endorse what will be called the Universal Bill of Rights, the articles of which are as follows: Article 1 -- All human beings have the right to choose worship any faith, and to change their religious beliefs at any time without punishment on the part of the state. Article 2 -- All human beings have the right to express themselves through speech and through the media without any interference. Article 3 -- All human beings have the right to peacefully assemble. Article 4 -- All human beings have the right to be treated equally under the law of any member nation. Article 5 -- All human beings must not be subjected to torture or to cruel or inhuman treatment or punishment. Article 6 -- No human beings will be subjected to arrest or exile without an explicit list of their offenses. Article 7 -- Any arrested person must be assumed innocent until proven guilty. Article 8 -- A human beings family members cannot be held accountable for the crimes of their relative. Article 9 -- Any persons who violate any of these articles shall be held accountable by the law. Article 10 -- The Universal Bill of Rights does not override the existing Bill of Rights of United Nations members. If any of these stated rights do not exist in a member nation, they are herby protected. If any nation has rights that go beyond these universal rights, the Universal Bill of Rights will not remove those rights.
I think I'll put this right next to my Constitutional amendment that says that my people have no rights
11. International Space Initiative - For better of democracy and the future of mankind, herewith is our proposal to form the International Space Intitiave (ISI). A worldwide participatory group designed to cull the best and the brightest from around the globe for the sake of exploring worlds beyond our earthly soil. Rather than make the space race a race at all, the ISI fully utilizes the basic ideals of intelligence and communication. Working much like the United Nations, the ISI will plan, build and implement space exploration on a committee basis with shared expense and reward. As a bare bones plan, herewith are basic ideology for the ISI: 1. A universal collective of science, manufacturing and defense. 2. Cradle-to-grave education for all to ensure future generations that space is no longer regarded as a folly, but as a serious opportunity to utilize. 3. The chance to explore and possibly, ihabit, lands beyond Earth bringing forth a mission of Peace. Kindly cast your vote to ensure that the future of our children and our childrens' children fully explores all opportunities.
Yay! my son will have a great time taking shelter from all the missles many nations will LIKELY send from space!
12. No Embargoes on Medicine - We assert that modern medicine can vastly improve quality of life, and is beneficial to all. Not having access to modern medicine and modern medical supplies can cause unnecessary suffering and death. Therefore we propose that in the course of war, no nation make embargoes restricting the sale of medicine or medical supplies. We also propose that any controlling authority, be it a government, a rebellion, or an occupying force, make no restrictions in times of war preventing doctors from entering the retion to treat the sick, wounded, and dying. Modern medicine is one of our societies modern accomplishments. We urge all nations to adopt this resolution to ensure that it is made freely accessable in times of war - times when it is needed most.
If you gotta problem, either drink 7-UP or use some of that herbal crap. And ever thought that guns can be shipped along with the medicine?
13. Banning the use of Landmines - All nations are advised that landmines are cruel and unnecessary devices to civilian populations of nations around the world. These weapons indiscriminately maim and kill civilian targets. When conflicts end, landmines pose a serious threat to farming and render large portions of land unuseable. The expense and difficulty of removing landmines after hostilities cease means that farmland and other areas might never be useful to populations for any enterprise. For this reason the immediate banning of the use of landmines in conflicts carried out by UN counties is called for.
I say nay!
14. END BARBARIC PUNISHMENTS - It has come to the attention of many nations that there is no torture in the UN. My proposal is a simple one: To outlaw and prevent torturing of witnesses to receive information. Every nation has the right to interrogate witnesses. However, they do not have the right to break bones, blind and bruise people while in questioning. (The same goes for punishments for a crime. The punishments have to fit the crime and not include torture or cruel and unusual punishment.) Any information proved to be found by methods of torture will not be heard in a court of law and the nations will be punished with a substantial fine. I hope that everyone realizes how barbaric torture and cruel and unusual punishment really is and will support the views of the many concerned nations.
Don't hurt meee! I bruise ever so easily! WTF? So what am I gonna do all day? slap him?
15. Freedom From SPAM Act - Whereas, The electronic mail inboxes of every man, woman and child on the face of the planet are being clogged with unwanted solicitory email, hereafter referred to as SPAM. Whereas, This problem is causing minutes a day in irritation, millions of kilobytes of bandwith waste, and millions of dollars of corporate money from the clogging. Whereas, The problem is and has been growing at a nearly exponential rate for years now. Whereas, All people have the right to be free from barrages of obscenity and unwanted sales offers, and these serve only to worsen the general mood and lifestyle of civilization It is proposed that from twenty days after the passage of this bill, laws be put into effect in every member country of the United Nations stating that any company found to be in posession of a list of emails for the usage of SPAM be fined the equivilent to five hundred thousand dollars and any company found to be sending unsolicitated email be fined the equivilent of five thousand dollars per email. Companies wishing to continue sending emails to private citizens must be in posession of a valid electronic signature which was gained without deceit and with a full disclaimer explaining what form of email the signee was subscribing to.
Yes...this will surely prevent another World War! DAMN YOU PESKY BRITISH! SENDING ME DATING-TIPS SPAM! WE WILL NOT TOLERATE!
16. Legalise Euthanasia - A child was sat at his mother's bedside when she was unable to breathe for herself and was under constant care. All the child knew was that the dignity of this once strong woman was slowly being drained away, hour by hour, day by day. The child's mother once told him that if she were ever in this situation, that he should do the right thing and put her out of her misery. He decided that he would obey his mother's wishes, and was jailed for 'killing' his mother. I ask you where is the justice in this? That someone has no right to end suffering? I propose that euthanasia should be legalised. Everyone over a certain age or with a life-threatening illness should be given the right to decide whether, in such a situation, they want to live on for as long as possible, or die with a little dignity left intact. This would mean a legal document would be filled out by those concerned. This would ensure that it is not a medical decision, but the patient's choice. After this document is signed, it must only be used in the situations stated. In the case of a freak situation in which a person has no serious illness or is over a certain age, if the person cannot make the decision themselves it would be made by those closest to them on the basis of professional medical advice. Also if the patient is in a coma, 5-10 years should be waited until those closest to them make a decision. The act also must be carried out in the most painless way possible. Why should carers use up time on those certain to die, when this time could be spent with those with a chance of life? And for those using religion as a barrier, don't you think that whoever you believe in would rather see the person happy in paradise, rather than suffering? Please think about this proposal carefully, and consider which path you would take if you were ever to be in this situation (God forbid)?
Keep the peace by letting someone die when they're not in peace...hmmm....
17. Fair Treatment of Mentally-Ill - Humane Treatment of the Mentally-Ill Resolved, all countries that are members of UN be required to treat citizens who are mentally-ill humanely. A mental illness is defined as a psychiatric disorder that results in a disruption in a person's thinking, feeling, moods, and ability to relate to others. This proposal would include a ban on physical abuse, forcing mentally-ill citizens to perform inhumane tasks, or forcing mentally-ill citizens to live and/or work in inhumane conditions. Basic services should be offered to all citizens who are mentally-ill.
I won't touch this...me personally having an autistic brother...
18. Legalize prostitution - As you are aware, there are citizens who get by in desperate times by selling their bodies in order to pay their bills and feed their children. Both men and women partake in this profession. If we legalized prostitution, people would be able to sell themselves to get by. In return, the government could use the money collected from taxes on prostitution income to support programs that help the poor. Prostitution is the oldest profession. Why must we make it a priority for law enforcement to monitor and arrest prostitutes when there are greater crimes out there?
Keprone...if your reading this...BEFORE you submit a proposal, be SURE to never submit something like this till your sure your hormone level is down. What were you thinking?
--
Gotta go now! Be back tomorrow to update this...hopefully you'll all see that you guys need to make the UN better....i'm not leaving the UN because it can be better!
I'll also make this easier to see my comments for you guys...oh and any comments on this will be appreciated!
1. Fight the Axis of Evil - As the world becomes a more dangerous place, UN member nations must act swiftly in the interests of peace. This means, of course, building lots of new weapons. Only by massively increasing military budgets world-wide will we be able to restore peace and global security.
I laugh at this one...keep peace by building more weapons...Heh...
2. Resolution 245A Proper Grammar - Too long have UN Proposals been filled with improper grammar. One can scarcely move between two pages of proposals without seeing some sort of grammar or spelling error. People need to realize that "your" and "you're" are NOT the same word. People also need to realize that "to" and "too" are also not the same word, and that the "Vaticant" does not exist. Any country that files a proposal with such language shall henceforth be banned from proposals until such time as they understand the English language and can properly convey their ideas.
cool name...does it serve a point Scrotalia, both the resolution and name. I DONT c h0w people with b4d internet l4ngu4g3 should be baned from propozing
3. Sexual Freedom - What goes on between two (or more) consenting adults in the privacy of their homes should not be the concern of the state unless it is neccesary to enquire about the afore mentioned activities for medical reasons (e.g. if the individuals wish to give blood etc.)
Wait...how do we know if someone has AIDS or not if we never took notice in the first place?
4. Keep The World Disease-Free! - While the hygiene standards of the world has certainly improved in the last 100 years, there is more to be done. Every citizen in every land should have the right to: At least one toilet in their house; At least one washbasin in their house; At least one of either a bathtub or a shower; in order to comply with hygiene standards and prolong life expectancy. Furthermore, vaccinations should be made available to the public, although they don't have to be mandatory. Vaccinations against the big diseases such as: Malaria, typhoid, rubella, cholera, polio, et al. With the backing of the UN, we can give even our poorest inhabitants a nice, clean, healthy life.
Fallopian...if your reading this...tell me...do you actually think the government has the time to see that someone has a toilet to piss in when they have to watch out for the AIDS virus that's coming out of nowhere?
5. MANDATORY RECYCLING - Beit hereby resolved that all paper, glass, aluminum and batteries be recycled by all UN member states.
you did good to make it stand out...
6. CHILD LABOR - GIVEN that many nation states see fit to employ children under age 12 in manual labor and industry, GIVEN that these industries and labor are often highly detrimental to a child's body and health, BELIEVING that it is a fundamental right to be given the chance to grow up educated and free from unneccesary disease, injury, and possible death from industrial work, ASSERTING that it is immoral and atrocious to force children , by manipulation, authority or raw strength, to work for corporation or state, Be it hereby resolved that the UN shall guarantee the rights of children to NOT work in any mines, factories, chemical plants or ANY OTHER industrial occupation; moreover, it shall be prohibited for a child to take up labor in such an occupation.
OH OH! But I can't afford that BMW I always wanted! I'm having my 12th kid to get me another paycheck!
7. Religious Tolerance - Whereas, Freedom of Religion does not exist in all countries in the world. Whereas, Too many wars are started and fought because of religious differences. Whereas, There is a need for more religious tolerance on Earth. Therefore be it resolved that the United Nations support and promote a greater understanding of all religions and promote more tolerance of differences of religion. Be it further resolved that the United Nations oppose all wars fought in the name of God and religion.
How? "Diplomatic efforts"? Ha!
8. Replanting Trees - If any individual, private or public enterprise cuts down over 5 acres of trees, they will be required to have the same number of trees replanted. The responsibility of replanting trees will be held directly by those who cut them down.
So...it's my job to cut down trees...it's my PERSONAL duty to buy trees out of MY pocket money? WTF? What's the point of my job then?
9. Metric System - Science has already coverted over to the far superior metric system from all other localized forms of measurement. I propose that all countries within the United Nations be converted to the Metric standard. This would include all official research, roadways, and labeling. This would breakdown barriers in sharing of research and in the international marketplace. Tourism would also be benifited from the common standard. This proposal would mainly help countries of poor economic standing, whereas the common standard would improve their ability to compete in the international market place. Science would also benifit from a unifide standard to taught in public schools, no conversions would need to be made.
NEWSFLASH! Standard AND metric systems are BOTH being taught in U.S. schools! And I wouldn't call the standard system inferior...
10. The Universal Bill of Rights - Recalling the many egregious infringements of human rights, Recognizing the need to protect basic human rights, Deploring any acts by government at the sake of human rights, Determined to put an end to the violation of human rights, The United Nations shall endorse what will be called the Universal Bill of Rights, the articles of which are as follows: Article 1 -- All human beings have the right to choose worship any faith, and to change their religious beliefs at any time without punishment on the part of the state. Article 2 -- All human beings have the right to express themselves through speech and through the media without any interference. Article 3 -- All human beings have the right to peacefully assemble. Article 4 -- All human beings have the right to be treated equally under the law of any member nation. Article 5 -- All human beings must not be subjected to torture or to cruel or inhuman treatment or punishment. Article 6 -- No human beings will be subjected to arrest or exile without an explicit list of their offenses. Article 7 -- Any arrested person must be assumed innocent until proven guilty. Article 8 -- A human beings family members cannot be held accountable for the crimes of their relative. Article 9 -- Any persons who violate any of these articles shall be held accountable by the law. Article 10 -- The Universal Bill of Rights does not override the existing Bill of Rights of United Nations members. If any of these stated rights do not exist in a member nation, they are herby protected. If any nation has rights that go beyond these universal rights, the Universal Bill of Rights will not remove those rights.
I think I'll put this right next to my Constitutional amendment that says that my people have no rights
11. International Space Initiative - For better of democracy and the future of mankind, herewith is our proposal to form the International Space Intitiave (ISI). A worldwide participatory group designed to cull the best and the brightest from around the globe for the sake of exploring worlds beyond our earthly soil. Rather than make the space race a race at all, the ISI fully utilizes the basic ideals of intelligence and communication. Working much like the United Nations, the ISI will plan, build and implement space exploration on a committee basis with shared expense and reward. As a bare bones plan, herewith are basic ideology for the ISI: 1. A universal collective of science, manufacturing and defense. 2. Cradle-to-grave education for all to ensure future generations that space is no longer regarded as a folly, but as a serious opportunity to utilize. 3. The chance to explore and possibly, ihabit, lands beyond Earth bringing forth a mission of Peace. Kindly cast your vote to ensure that the future of our children and our childrens' children fully explores all opportunities.
Yay! my son will have a great time taking shelter from all the missles many nations will LIKELY send from space!
12. No Embargoes on Medicine - We assert that modern medicine can vastly improve quality of life, and is beneficial to all. Not having access to modern medicine and modern medical supplies can cause unnecessary suffering and death. Therefore we propose that in the course of war, no nation make embargoes restricting the sale of medicine or medical supplies. We also propose that any controlling authority, be it a government, a rebellion, or an occupying force, make no restrictions in times of war preventing doctors from entering the retion to treat the sick, wounded, and dying. Modern medicine is one of our societies modern accomplishments. We urge all nations to adopt this resolution to ensure that it is made freely accessable in times of war - times when it is needed most.
If you gotta problem, either drink 7-UP or use some of that herbal crap. And ever thought that guns can be shipped along with the medicine?
13. Banning the use of Landmines - All nations are advised that landmines are cruel and unnecessary devices to civilian populations of nations around the world. These weapons indiscriminately maim and kill civilian targets. When conflicts end, landmines pose a serious threat to farming and render large portions of land unuseable. The expense and difficulty of removing landmines after hostilities cease means that farmland and other areas might never be useful to populations for any enterprise. For this reason the immediate banning of the use of landmines in conflicts carried out by UN counties is called for.
I say nay!
14. END BARBARIC PUNISHMENTS - It has come to the attention of many nations that there is no torture in the UN. My proposal is a simple one: To outlaw and prevent torturing of witnesses to receive information. Every nation has the right to interrogate witnesses. However, they do not have the right to break bones, blind and bruise people while in questioning. (The same goes for punishments for a crime. The punishments have to fit the crime and not include torture or cruel and unusual punishment.) Any information proved to be found by methods of torture will not be heard in a court of law and the nations will be punished with a substantial fine. I hope that everyone realizes how barbaric torture and cruel and unusual punishment really is and will support the views of the many concerned nations.
Don't hurt meee! I bruise ever so easily! WTF? So what am I gonna do all day? slap him?
15. Freedom From SPAM Act - Whereas, The electronic mail inboxes of every man, woman and child on the face of the planet are being clogged with unwanted solicitory email, hereafter referred to as SPAM. Whereas, This problem is causing minutes a day in irritation, millions of kilobytes of bandwith waste, and millions of dollars of corporate money from the clogging. Whereas, The problem is and has been growing at a nearly exponential rate for years now. Whereas, All people have the right to be free from barrages of obscenity and unwanted sales offers, and these serve only to worsen the general mood and lifestyle of civilization It is proposed that from twenty days after the passage of this bill, laws be put into effect in every member country of the United Nations stating that any company found to be in posession of a list of emails for the usage of SPAM be fined the equivilent to five hundred thousand dollars and any company found to be sending unsolicitated email be fined the equivilent of five thousand dollars per email. Companies wishing to continue sending emails to private citizens must be in posession of a valid electronic signature which was gained without deceit and with a full disclaimer explaining what form of email the signee was subscribing to.
Yes...this will surely prevent another World War! DAMN YOU PESKY BRITISH! SENDING ME DATING-TIPS SPAM! WE WILL NOT TOLERATE!
16. Legalise Euthanasia - A child was sat at his mother's bedside when she was unable to breathe for herself and was under constant care. All the child knew was that the dignity of this once strong woman was slowly being drained away, hour by hour, day by day. The child's mother once told him that if she were ever in this situation, that he should do the right thing and put her out of her misery. He decided that he would obey his mother's wishes, and was jailed for 'killing' his mother. I ask you where is the justice in this? That someone has no right to end suffering? I propose that euthanasia should be legalised. Everyone over a certain age or with a life-threatening illness should be given the right to decide whether, in such a situation, they want to live on for as long as possible, or die with a little dignity left intact. This would mean a legal document would be filled out by those concerned. This would ensure that it is not a medical decision, but the patient's choice. After this document is signed, it must only be used in the situations stated. In the case of a freak situation in which a person has no serious illness or is over a certain age, if the person cannot make the decision themselves it would be made by those closest to them on the basis of professional medical advice. Also if the patient is in a coma, 5-10 years should be waited until those closest to them make a decision. The act also must be carried out in the most painless way possible. Why should carers use up time on those certain to die, when this time could be spent with those with a chance of life? And for those using religion as a barrier, don't you think that whoever you believe in would rather see the person happy in paradise, rather than suffering? Please think about this proposal carefully, and consider which path you would take if you were ever to be in this situation (God forbid)?
Keep the peace by letting someone die when they're not in peace...hmmm....
17. Fair Treatment of Mentally-Ill - Humane Treatment of the Mentally-Ill Resolved, all countries that are members of UN be required to treat citizens who are mentally-ill humanely. A mental illness is defined as a psychiatric disorder that results in a disruption in a person's thinking, feeling, moods, and ability to relate to others. This proposal would include a ban on physical abuse, forcing mentally-ill citizens to perform inhumane tasks, or forcing mentally-ill citizens to live and/or work in inhumane conditions. Basic services should be offered to all citizens who are mentally-ill.
I won't touch this...me personally having an autistic brother...
18. Legalize prostitution - As you are aware, there are citizens who get by in desperate times by selling their bodies in order to pay their bills and feed their children. Both men and women partake in this profession. If we legalized prostitution, people would be able to sell themselves to get by. In return, the government could use the money collected from taxes on prostitution income to support programs that help the poor. Prostitution is the oldest profession. Why must we make it a priority for law enforcement to monitor and arrest prostitutes when there are greater crimes out there?
Keprone...if your reading this...BEFORE you submit a proposal, be SURE to never submit something like this till your sure your hormone level is down. What were you thinking?
--
Gotta go now! Be back tomorrow to update this...hopefully you'll all see that you guys need to make the UN better....i'm not leaving the UN because it can be better!
I'll also make this easier to see my comments for you guys...oh and any comments on this will be appreciated!