NationStates Jolt Archive

There are many ills that plague our world in these trying times. Whether it be the slow and steady decay of the environment, overcrowding and population inflation, or the lack of basic sustenance to provide healthy meals for all the citizens of our fine nations. Were that there was a single solution to each complex problem we would be delighted, but I am here to tell you there is a solitary solution to solve all these issues, and actually boost the economy on top of it all. What would that be you ask?

Eat your dead.

Now I know to some this might seem appalling, but when you really bite into it the solutions it provides seem very tasty. Allow me to elaborate point by point.

1) the environment: We bury people after they have been embalmed, filling them with noxious chemicals that strip the earth of the basic nutrients to sustain plant life. Now the plants aren’t usually affected to be honest, but this is because we stuff the cadavers in an air tight box, and then seal it in a big stone vault. This is an immense amount of wasted space, and deprives the land of its basic life giving properties.

2) crowding: Along with the eat your dead plan we would be able to move forward on some other programs to ensure we are eating the finest of meats, and not disease ridden rancorous hunks of goo. Coma patients that are deemed irrecoverable, death row inmates and many other fringe groups would be prime candidates to harvest from. This would help keep the population down to a more tolerable level in these groups and help the overcrowding as a whole.

3) starvation: well the amount of meat that would be added to the system could very easily feed the worlds hungry many times over. now I would suggest a voucher program so when you turn in grandma you will not need to feast on her very flesh, but get a coupon for her. Then you can redeem that at a later date for meat of a 'not quite so domestic' variety if that is your wish.

4) economy: the industry this would produce could employ hundreds of thousands in just the first few months after its inception. The long term financials on meat trading could be a real gold rush to a fast acting and over populated, nation if they were to wisely leverage their resource.

And there are many more benefits besides. But we need to see this as the true long term solution it is and embrace it today. We want the world we leave to our future generations to be a stable and comfortable environment. We want prosperity and peace. And this is the first major step toward achieving that goal, and correcting many of the mistakes we have made in the past.

So I urge you to consider this proposal and lend your support. Now is the time for every man and woman to feed the children of the world and leave no mouth hungry.

No.

no what?

i've already willed my body to a neccrophilliac

=^^=
.../\...

As a country with mandatory ogran donations post mortem, favouring cremation, and usually feeding the poor with our national animals, Artola sees no point in forced cannibalism. The small part of human body that our doctors can't use is usually burned and (on relatives permission) used to fertilize crop-fields. Otherwise people can take the earthly remains of their loved ones and do whatever they want to. After all, they were their relatives.

Has anyone ever read the piece "A Modest Proposal"? Its similar to this resolution only that the piece advocated eating children.

Both are hilarious.

Why eat them. Most of them are old and sick. Besides as a Nation strongly supporting Roman Catholic Church, we can not agree on this. However I belive that using our (decased) dearly belovens as a fertilizer, is a good idea.

No.

Bow down before this genius! Spokesperson of Spoondonia, I must congratulate you on this fine offer. Furthermore, we are even willing to eat _your_ dead. We'll eat anybody's dead, come to that. We'll even kill people.

Anyway, you have shown wisdom far greater than one would expect of a delegate, which means that you must have brains in excess. I would very much suggest that you see our Chairman-of-the-Joint-Chefs-of-Staff and get a price valuation.

Have y'all seen soylent green :wink:

Have y'all seen soylent green :wink:

No, but judging by the topic of this discussion, and the description to be found at http://www.sciflicks.com/soylent_green/ , I think I can see what the movie is about.

"Why eat them. Most of them are old and sick. Besides as a Nation strongly supporting Roman Catholic Church, we can not agree on this. However I belive that using our (decased) dearly belovens as a fertilizer, is a good idea."

Now I know there woudl be some religious resistance from some of the fringe, but as a good Catholic how can you NOT support this?

Do you not take communion?

It is not eating of the body of Christ and drinking of his blood? This is pure symbolic cannibalism. This idea goes back to the very origins of mans faith. Many cultures saw the consumption of others as a way to maintain or gain their virility.

Is it not the path to the Christian heaven by being Christ like? Did he not say .....

John 6:47-58
47 Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes has eternal life. 48 I am the bread of life. 49 Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. 50 This is the bread which comes down from heaven, that a man may eat of it and not die. 51 I am the living bread which came down from heaven; if any one eats of this bread, he will live for ever; and the bread which I shall give for the life of the world is my flesh." 52 The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, "How can this man give us his flesh to eat?" 53 So Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, you have no life in you; 54 he who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. 55 For my flesh is food indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. 56 He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. 57 As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so he who eats me will live because of me. 58 This is the bread which came down from heaven, not such as the fathers ate and died; he who eats this bread will live for ever."

So if you embrace the Eucharist you can only but support this proposition, it is the Christ like thing to do.

Pharisee!
It's one thing eating the body of Our Lord, a different one of a human being.
"I am the living bread" said the Son of God, not you, nor me, nor our dearly belovens.

"56 He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him."

Are we not all gods children? Do we not all wish to feed the mouths of hungry babes?

Well holy jungles, that's a great idea! Let's feed the martys and saints to our children! The stone-cold fact is that humans don't taste like bread (see the topics headline) and therefore they can't taste like godly bread ie. Jesus's rectum. So eating ordinary people would be, beside gross and againts international laws, blasphemy. It's the saints and holy men you want, my starving masses! Now go an' git 'em!

---Post deleted by NationStates Moderators---

talk about getting fat off the land, now they want to get fat off the ppl of the land,

this is crazy talk i will no longer partake in the discussion

It occurs to the most serene and toked-up nation of Berkylvania that the old and dead would be stringy and tough, therefore not suitable for consumption. However, we would be willing to collaborate on a multi-national research effort to investigate the feasibility of raising human populations solely for the purpose of a food source. Whereas current production methods for certain food types, namely beef and veal, require huge amounts of space, with both the human child and human adult being smaller than the average calf or full grown cow, we see how possible overcrowding effects may be lessened. Additionally, upkeep of the average human child and adult is easier than that of the average bovine, namely, put them in front of a T.V. and they'll fatten themselves up for us.

However, until more research is done on the causes of Mad Cow Disease and how we can avoid such a tragic development while eating our own, and until someone advances a suitable theory of cooking humanity, Berkylvania cannot support any such proposal.

This is a fine idea, if you want to follow the example of the diseased mad cows.

It occurs to the most serene and toked-up nation of Berkylvania that the old and dead would be stringy and tough, therefore not suitable for consumption. However, we would be willing to collaborate on a multi-national research effort to investigate the feasibility of raising human populations solely for the purpose of a food source.

A flash-back of H. G. Wells' The Time Machine ensues


Leeward Savvy will not question the right of those who actually believe in the taking in of their departed loved ones' spirits through cannabalism [to practice this belief]. Nor will my country disagree with those who take communion.


starvation: well the amount of meat that would be added to the system could very easily feed the worlds hungry many times over. now I would suggest a voucher program so when you turn in grandma you will not need to feast on her very flesh, but get a coupon for her. Then you can redeem that at a later date for meat of a 'not quite so domestic' variety if that is your wish.

economy: the industry this would produce could employ hundreds of thousands in just the first few months after its inception. The long term financials on meat trading could be a real gold rush to a fast acting and over populated, nation if they were to wisely leverage their resource.

However, Leeward Savvy will not stand for turning such into an obligatory[sp? :oops: ] custom geared toward commercial benefit. This proposal could easily become corrupted if put into effect.

There are many ills that plague our world in these trying times. Whether it be the slow and steady decay of the environment, overcrowding and population inflation, or the lack of basic sustenance to provide healthy meals for all the citizens of our fine nations. Were that there was a single solution to each complex problem we would be delighted, but I am here to tell you there is a solitary solution to solve all these issues, and actually boost the economy on top of it all. What would that be you ask?

Eat your dead.

Now I know to some this might seem appalling, but when you really bite into it the solutions it provides seem very tasty. Allow me to elaborate point by point.

1) the environment: We bury people after they have been embalmed, filling them with noxious chemicals that strip the earth of the basic nutrients to sustain plant life. Now the plants aren’t usually affected to be honest, but this is because we stuff the cadavers in an air tight box, and then seal it in a big stone vault. This is an immense amount of wasted space, and deprives the land of its basic life giving properties.

2) crowding: Along with the eat your dead plan we would be able to move forward on some other programs to ensure we are eating the finest of meats, and not disease ridden rancorous hunks of goo. Coma patients that are deemed irrecoverable, death row inmates and many other fringe groups would be prime candidates to harvest from. This would help keep the population down to a more tolerable level in these groups and help the overcrowding as a whole.

3) starvation: well the amount of meat that would be added to the system could very easily feed the worlds hungry many times over. now I would suggest a voucher program so when you turn in grandma you will not need to feast on her very flesh, but get a coupon for her. Then you can redeem that at a later date for meat of a 'not quite so domestic' variety if that is your wish.

4) economy: the industry this would produce could employ hundreds of thousands in just the first few months after its inception. The long term financials on meat trading could be a real gold rush to a fast acting and over populated, nation if they were to wisely leverage their resource.

And there are many more benefits besides. But we need to see this as the true long term solution it is and embrace it today. We want the world we leave to our future generations to be a stable and comfortable environment. We want prosperity and peace. And this is the first major step toward achieving that goal, and correcting many of the mistakes we have made in the past.

So I urge you to consider this proposal and lend your support. Now is the time for every man and woman to feed the children of the world and leave no mouth hungry.

We can't support this for sanitary reasons. People are the dirtiest animals in the world (It's true, ask your doc how much bacteria is present in (and on) the human body.) Plus, people don't taste good, and are mostly fat and water.