NationStates Jolt Archive

Whereas, Jonathan Swift did write a satirical paper by this name with regard to a famine of his time in Ireland;

Whereas, hunger is still a serious problem in places;

Whereas, there is much room for the advancement of culinary science;

This Confederacy does modestly propose that nations be allowed, upon deaths of citizens from unnatural injury, namely trauma, bleeding, etc. to, after the necessary forensic investigations, butcher the bodies of a certain percentage of these corpses into meat, which could be preserved and then shipped to those places in which hunger is a problem.

This would not only reduce hunger in the affected areas, but could perhaps foster an amiability and co-operation, because the desperate people would know that their fellow men and women in neighboring countries were willing to get killed in crime or accident that they might eat and be fed.

I ask you, my fellows, to share your thoughts concerning this modest proposal.

This is the sort of thinking which caused Mad Cow Disease.

People will shun it for health reasons.

Now what you should do is process it into something unmeatlike and color it a vegetable color; call it NS Green or something.

Unless people are vegitables

SOYLENT GREEN IS MADE OF PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, just couldn't resist :lol:

I'm almost rendered speechless by this resolution. Do you know how unsafe and unsanitary this is? You are encouraging the eating of people. Cannibalism. There really isnt a safe way to eat people. It's like trying to get a blood transfusion by having someone cut themselves and then you drinking their blood.

I am completly shocked speechless at the very idea of cutting up our citizens for food. There is no way people would allow such a thing. Hygine (as mentioned above) is the main factor, plus the cultural and religious taboo's against cannabilism. This would definetly be a no starter.

I am quite intrigued by the idea of recyclng human beings as food. This will solve quite a few problems, mainly: Scarcity of land for burials, the need to pay for funeral facilities, etc. However, I do object ot the proposal for reasons of hygeine and human rights.

To safely consume human meat/flesh, we will need to apply current food standards to our citizens. In short, they will need to be bred in the manner of cows (an example), and slaughtered as such. This of course violates thier human rights.

We need our citizens to be active in our country and contribute in other ways. Segregating a portion of the population as food is therefore not desirable

soylent green is indeed likely the more sensable approach to this. a sustained diet of the flesh of one's own speceis does indeed appear hazardous, though we must admit little to no familiarity with virifiable statistics on the matter. we are however familiar with the concept of hyperbaking to remove all trace of living organizms, the resualtand dessicated solid then being ground to a fine powder and used as any other flour in baking a biskuit such as the well known and familiar kibble, generaly from the parts of creatures genraly otherwise requring disposal.
while not unattractive in principal, a similar proccess having been used with pest species of birds, by use of a device which combined a bird feeder, a very powerful vacume and a sturdy system of mascerating blades known euphamisticly as shreded tweet.
while as stated we do not factualy know nor have we given serious study to this matter, we are wary of to hasty enthusiasm in thins matter. it is also perhaps possible to use cadavers as a source of fuel. though again the use of combustion itself, whatever its fuel source is not without environmental problems.
the most popular funary arraingements in our own land is to allow the no longer occupied physical form to be reclaimed by nature or alternately to have as nearly totaly as possible it's energy released in fission reaction.

there are however maters of custom and ritual to be observed. we cite as referance the penultimately authoritative text on these matters: "death and designation among the assadi" by the well known internationaly acknowledged authority on these and many other matters, rafiel alloysios lafferty

we hope this rumination has been of at least some slight intrest if of no great utility

=^^=
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This, like the "Modest Proposal" to eat babies it was based on, is a sarcastic suggestion. Anyone who takes it seriously is jumping to conclusions.

I've got a better idea.

Now as we all know, a fetus is not really a living being anyway. It's simply a lump of something inhuman.

Since a fetus is not human, we can escape the human rights problems by directing the modest proposal only towards aborted feti.

That's right friends, all those little legs, arms, snapped spinal cords are delicious, and a readily accessible solution to the hunger problems that are rampant in this world.

A fetus, afterall, is virtually a deposit of nutrition. They are nutritious, good for your health, tender, and as has been stated, quite delicious.

Why throw such a valuable commodity into the dumpster when we could be using it?


I'd like to present to the council a few suggestions for properly serving a fetus.

Fried Fetus Fritters: simply batter the fetus and drop it in a fryer. looks and tastes like fried shrimp!

chilled children: throw them into the cooler. many consider this quite a delicacy.

peel and eat fetus: cooking methods are similar to fried chicken. You'd be surprised how tasty baby skin is.

Plate o' Placenta: this expounds upon the typical fetus plate by exploring the possiblities of using related waste organs as food. My personal favorite is to eat the placenta raw, much like sushi.