NationStates Jolt Archive

Formula for a modern UN resolution (junk, but it will pass)

08-12-2003, 06:02
To make a UN resolution that will probably pass, complete the following steps: (Warning: despite the fact that it may pass, a resolution made by this formula will be just as horrible as the rest on the agenda)
1. Choose a human rights issue. (ex. Child abuse, child pornography, human trafficking, etc.)
2. Write a few sentences about how horrible the abuses of this issue are, and how people are dying, or being split up from their families, or anything else that you think would appear on a daytime talkshow.
3. To sound formal, write one or two sentences stating what you propose to do. This shouldbe very general and involve a complete ban on something, or "bringing an end" to some "grave consequences." Be sure not to get too specific, or your resolution might turn out good, but it won't pass.
4. Restate the issue, in case the fools who are reading it forgot already. This will make people feel even more sympathetic to whatever cause you are promoting.
5. Go back and make sure that you have a handful of spelling and grammar errors, as this seems to be the style and it often makes or breaks a resolution. Even better if you can throw in some of that h@ck3r spelling.
Congratulations! You are now the proud author of a UN proposal. If you followed my instructions correctly and chose a general enough issue, your proposal will become a resolution in a few days and will be passed a few days later.
Note: If anyone actually tries this, I will light them on fire.
Free Outer Eugenia
08-12-2003, 06:24
And don't forget to randomly stick one or two WHEREASes in there somewhere.
08-12-2003, 07:22
Most excellent! This is starting to sound like the real-world U.N.!
Free Soviets
08-12-2003, 20:34
1. Choose a human rights issue. (ex. Child abuse, child pornography, human trafficking, etc.)

1a. Choose an environmental issue.

That seems to be the other kind of resolution that passes relatively easily.
08-12-2003, 22:00
6. Run for president of a superpower. :?

Oh, and for heaven's sake...

7. Make a really snappy title that sounds like someone no one in their right minds would disagree with, like "Preserving human life" or "Ending Horrific Abuses" or something.