NationStates Jolt Archive


Superhero Crimefighters

04-12-2003, 05:15
Just a shameless plug for my UN proposal. So here it is!

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Superheroes Wanted

One of the Principality of Perseity's biggest concerns is the problem of crime, most notable are the sprawling crime syndicates and diabolical, evil scientists that seem to be springing up everywhere.

Without a doubt, something must be done, but conventional police and military just will not do.

Therefore, the Principality of Perseity moves that all UN nations make an effort, however big or small, to produce their own superheroes through one of the following methods:

Discreetly introduce genetically-modified, radioactive spiders into the population in the hope that a bite from one of these spiders will grant the recipient of the bite various beneficial, spider-related characteristics.

Offer free testing under the guise of "acute chronic terminal agorophobia screening." These tests are to be administered to children at the time of puberty and will analyse their DNA for mutations in their genetic makeup that indicate the emergence of super-powers such as Psychokinesis, Telepathy, rapid healing potential or even laser beams that shoot out of the eyes.

Arrange the murder of the parents of a very well-to-do child. It is helpful if the child is present during the incident, but with luck, that child will grow up with a benevolent determination to put an stop to criminal activity, and will use his or her generous inheritance to fund such a crusade.

Establish contact with an alien race that, for some reason, gains super-powers when exposed to the ultra-violet rays of our sun, and arrange to bring a member of this alien race back to earth.

Offer obligatory training clinics in no less than seventeen (17) types of martial arts. These clinics are encouraged to include, but are not limited to: Ninjitsu, Ju jitsu, Pentjak Silat, Kung Fu, Tae Kwon Do, Karate, Judo and Akido. Graduates from these clinics must be able to turn invisible, project their life-force outside of their bodies, and jump at least four (4) meters vertically.

Amendments to these methods are welcomed, as are totally new methods.

Perseity is confident that crime can be stopped with teamwork and, of course, ridiculously powerful superheroes.

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Mild increase in police and military spending. The proposal is on page 12 as of 4 December 2003. Please consider approving it for general consumption.
Patoxia
04-12-2003, 17:39
OOC:
:lol:
oh, and you forgot exposing astronauts to cosmic rays (ala the Fantastic 4)
IC:
We would agree with this Proposal but we cannot support the following condition:

Arrange the murder of the parents of a very well-to-do child. It is helpful if the child is present during the incident, but with luck, that child will grow up with a benevolent determination to put an stop to criminal activity, and will use his or her generous inheritance to fund such a crusade.

Patoxian Foreign Ministry
04-12-2003, 18:45
Dam dude are you ok?

maybe you suld just put down the crack pipe for a wile. :shock:


OCC:

that was fuuny man :lol:
CoreWorlds
04-12-2003, 18:56
Our Jedi do what Superman does for Metropolis, so no problems there.
05-12-2003, 03:24
We would agree with this Proposal but we cannot support the following condition:

Arrange the murder of the parents of a very well-to-do child. It is helpful if the child is present during the incident, but with luck, that child will grow up with a benevolent determination to put an stop to criminal activity, and will use his or her generous inheritance to fund such a crusade.

This course of action is really not so bad. Well, it is, but the utility a nation gets from having a multi-billion dollar playboy citizen that fights crime far outweighs the cost of assassinating his parents. And besides, this is only one method, totally optional. Your nation is totally free to choose a different option. And it's all cost-benefit, really. I mean, think of the health hazards of unleashing radioactive spiders into the population. That can't be good either. Man, I'm not very convincing, am I?
The Global Market
05-12-2003, 03:31
Ah, yes, Superheroes. Using physical force to bend the universe to their will. Fighting "crime" and anyone else they find disagreeable irrespective of laws and due process, no concern for the right to privacy, or any other sort of right for that matter... Fascism at its best. No wonder we have so many skinheads.
Neo Tyr
05-12-2003, 04:01
Seems reasonable. I'd vote for it.
The Zoogie People
05-12-2003, 04:35
Yes, and when the boy or girl (we've got to be politically correct, now, don't we, we're the UN! :)) finds out the gov't arranged for the murder of his parents so they can USE him to get rid of their problems, he shall bring down your nation. :lol:
05-12-2003, 04:54
Yes, and when the boy or girl (we've got to be politically correct, now, don't we, we're the UN! :)) finds out the gov't arranged for the murder of his parents so they can USE him to get rid of their problems, he shall bring down your nation. :lol:

Or instead of doing this, you could hope that through a series of hijinxes and mis adventures, the parents end up being murdered by a bear or something. If you dress the bear up as a villian, you've got a preaty sweat deal.
05-12-2003, 07:03
Yes, and when the boy or girl (we've got to be politically correct, now, don't we, we're the UN! :)) finds out the gov't arranged for the murder of his parents so they can USE him to get rid of their problems, he shall bring down your nation. :lol:

Or instead of doing this, you could hope that through a series of hijinxes and mis adventures, the parents end up being murdered by a bear or something. If you dress the bear up as a villian, you've got a preaty sweet deal.

I think we're definitely on to something here.
05-12-2003, 16:57
Come on ye childhood heroes!
Won't you rise up from the pages
Of your comic-books, your super crooks
And show us all the way
Well, make your will and testament.
Won't you join your local government?
We'll have Superman for president
Let Robin save the day
Oppressed Possums
05-12-2003, 18:15
What happens when these "superheroes" damage property can cause "collateral damage"
05-12-2003, 18:19
vigilanties for the UN sounds good to me.
05-12-2003, 18:22
superheros what superheros they might help but they destroy just as much.
Oppressed Possums
05-12-2003, 18:22
What about the superheroes that just snap and decide the way to eliminate crime is to blow up the world? That could be bad. Besides, how are you going to regulate superheroes and superpowers?

Are you going to create supermen? Is that such a good idea?
05-12-2003, 19:16
If you're concerned about the damage that a climactic battle between good and evil could cause, worry no more. We'll just have film crews at the scene taping it. It'll be like a superhero-reality show, a huge success and that will pay for the damage to buildings and everything else.

Just no flying around the earth so fast that it spins backward and somehow time moves backward too. That's bogus.
Collaboration
05-12-2003, 20:56
We are in favor of this; it would cut down on our crime problem, which we cannot solve otherwise within the limits of our budget.
These people work for free, right?
06-12-2003, 00:40
We are in favor of this; it would cut down on our crime problem, which we cannot solve otherwise within the limits of our budget.
These people work for free, right?

Absolutely! They are acting out of their own adamant feeling of righteous determination. In some cases there may be a meager one-time investment to get things moving along. (mutant spiders or dna testing, for instance) But no payment is required to keep your superheroes fighting for justice!
06-12-2003, 00:40
Hurray for quadruple posting.
06-12-2003, 00:41
Ditto.
06-12-2003, 00:44
Quadruple posting all the way to the second page.
Roycelandia
06-12-2003, 03:01
The Zoogie People
06-12-2003, 20:46
Wait, if we can create superheroes, then by reason we can produce endless gold-dispensing machines, and armies of monsters.
Oppressed Possums
06-12-2003, 20:49
If you can create your "superheroes", why do you need a military? Why do you need money then? Just have them take things.
06-12-2003, 21:27
You read my mind! The gold-making machine is my next proposal!
CoreWorlds
06-12-2003, 22:11
If you can create your "superheroes", why do you need a military? Why do you need money then? Just have them take things.

Well, for one thing, superheroes cannot be everywhere at once, especially in cases of invasion. Plus you gotta have valiant men and women fighting unstoppable (by bullets and tanks) creatures to have a superhero come in and save the day. It's just so cliche.
Komokom
07-12-2003, 02:58
( BANG )

( BANG )

( BANG )

( BANG )

( BANG )

( Removes slightly now squishy head from wall )

Oh god, I can't think how this one would go on the U.N. floor, after the last few . . . Oh god . . . its so daft it could actually pass . . .

* Sigh * , quickly, to the common-sense mobile . . .

( BANG )

( BANG )

( BANG )

A Rep of Komokom.