04-12-2003, 05:15
Just a shameless plug for my UN proposal. So here it is!
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Superheroes Wanted
One of the Principality of Perseity's biggest concerns is the problem of crime, most notable are the sprawling crime syndicates and diabolical, evil scientists that seem to be springing up everywhere.
Without a doubt, something must be done, but conventional police and military just will not do.
Therefore, the Principality of Perseity moves that all UN nations make an effort, however big or small, to produce their own superheroes through one of the following methods:
Discreetly introduce genetically-modified, radioactive spiders into the population in the hope that a bite from one of these spiders will grant the recipient of the bite various beneficial, spider-related characteristics.
Offer free testing under the guise of "acute chronic terminal agorophobia screening." These tests are to be administered to children at the time of puberty and will analyse their DNA for mutations in their genetic makeup that indicate the emergence of super-powers such as Psychokinesis, Telepathy, rapid healing potential or even laser beams that shoot out of the eyes.
Arrange the murder of the parents of a very well-to-do child. It is helpful if the child is present during the incident, but with luck, that child will grow up with a benevolent determination to put an stop to criminal activity, and will use his or her generous inheritance to fund such a crusade.
Establish contact with an alien race that, for some reason, gains super-powers when exposed to the ultra-violet rays of our sun, and arrange to bring a member of this alien race back to earth.
Offer obligatory training clinics in no less than seventeen (17) types of martial arts. These clinics are encouraged to include, but are not limited to: Ninjitsu, Ju jitsu, Pentjak Silat, Kung Fu, Tae Kwon Do, Karate, Judo and Akido. Graduates from these clinics must be able to turn invisible, project their life-force outside of their bodies, and jump at least four (4) meters vertically.
Amendments to these methods are welcomed, as are totally new methods.
Perseity is confident that crime can be stopped with teamwork and, of course, ridiculously powerful superheroes.
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Mild increase in police and military spending. The proposal is on page 12 as of 4 December 2003. Please consider approving it for general consumption.
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Superheroes Wanted
One of the Principality of Perseity's biggest concerns is the problem of crime, most notable are the sprawling crime syndicates and diabolical, evil scientists that seem to be springing up everywhere.
Without a doubt, something must be done, but conventional police and military just will not do.
Therefore, the Principality of Perseity moves that all UN nations make an effort, however big or small, to produce their own superheroes through one of the following methods:
Discreetly introduce genetically-modified, radioactive spiders into the population in the hope that a bite from one of these spiders will grant the recipient of the bite various beneficial, spider-related characteristics.
Offer free testing under the guise of "acute chronic terminal agorophobia screening." These tests are to be administered to children at the time of puberty and will analyse their DNA for mutations in their genetic makeup that indicate the emergence of super-powers such as Psychokinesis, Telepathy, rapid healing potential or even laser beams that shoot out of the eyes.
Arrange the murder of the parents of a very well-to-do child. It is helpful if the child is present during the incident, but with luck, that child will grow up with a benevolent determination to put an stop to criminal activity, and will use his or her generous inheritance to fund such a crusade.
Establish contact with an alien race that, for some reason, gains super-powers when exposed to the ultra-violet rays of our sun, and arrange to bring a member of this alien race back to earth.
Offer obligatory training clinics in no less than seventeen (17) types of martial arts. These clinics are encouraged to include, but are not limited to: Ninjitsu, Ju jitsu, Pentjak Silat, Kung Fu, Tae Kwon Do, Karate, Judo and Akido. Graduates from these clinics must be able to turn invisible, project their life-force outside of their bodies, and jump at least four (4) meters vertically.
Amendments to these methods are welcomed, as are totally new methods.
Perseity is confident that crime can be stopped with teamwork and, of course, ridiculously powerful superheroes.
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Mild increase in police and military spending. The proposal is on page 12 as of 4 December 2003. Please consider approving it for general consumption.