NationStates Jolt Archive


NEWSFLASH!! 'Union' bosses cause widespread rioting!

25-11-2003, 03:04
WHAT'S UNDER THE UNION LABEL? THE HAMMER & SICKLE!

(Zoltansk City - International Press November 24)
Reported by Rebecca Jones

Following the recent UN Resolution on international unions and national compliance, a delegation from the Brotherhood of Steel Workers (BSW) arrived for meetings with the Workers Association (WA) head council. While cautious, the WA leadership heard proposals from the BSW as to integrating BSW leadership into the WA. This meeting was followed by a presentation of the newly arrived international syndicate, Federation of United Carpenters, Drywall, Upholstery Progressive (FUCDUP) who also attempted, even more forcefully, their leadership cadre into positions of power with the local WA.

"We werent gunna take orders from some clown from who knows where," stated WA Vice president Bobby Truthful, "all the guys know each other and now they want to push strangers in here? I dont think so!"

Tempers flared when local control was derided by the Internationalists, who called the WA leasership "running dogs of Imperialism" and "yapping jackels of the bourgeois". After two days of unsucessful meetings, a number of the WA leadership appeared to have vanished. Four of the twelve members of the WA leadership were unable to be found, seemingly without a trace. Lucy Lawful, the WA liason with the Grand Duke, said "I thought they were rude, and when they started insulting us, and then besmearing the reputation of the Grand Duchess, most of the lads had had enough. When they said we were capitalist pigs and needed to be sent to 're-education camps in Siberia; I knew they were totally evil"

Small protests started over the disappearance of the WA leaders and the insults to the Grand Ducal family. The Grand Duchess, while interrupted from washing the wounds of orphans to be told of the insults, calmly closed her eyes and asked everyone to pray for the poor misguided souls of the Inernation Reds.

The Grand Duke ordered the airplane and luggage of the Communist agitators and International Union representatives to be detained. In the hold of the plane was found a large crate, and within it, was the four missing WA leaders, tired but alive. "They wanted to take us back an 're-educate' us...that we needed 'party discipline'" stated Billy Banner, the regional Steel WA leader. Inside the contents of the plane were found plastic explosives, a large quantity of handguns, and various 'doctored' videotapes of high level WA leaders and of the Grand Duchess wearing uniforms with red stars, all claiming the glorious new order in Zoltansk.

Following this revelation, the International "union reps" managed to avoid angry lynch mobs of patriotic Zoltanites and took refuge in an abandoned brewery, where they set up a public address system that spouted Communist propaganda, called the citizens "disgusting worms of the labor bosses" and other assorted filth. A police and territorial guard was posted around the perimeter and a shoot out occured leaving one police officer dead and one territorial guard wounded. All fifty of the Communist agents were killed, including the ringleaders Ivana Bolshevik and Rev O'Lution.

The Grand Duke has, under popular pressure from the people, suspended any further Union officials from entering the country and has promised to carefully re-consider Zoltansk's participation in the UN. This came after widespread protests in the streets of the capitol over the UN designation of Zoltansk being a "Democratic Socialist" state, thus removing any reference to the Grand Ducal authority and the lowering of the economic standing of the nation following the recent UN resolution.

"It shows that there was a nefarious Marxist plot behind recent events", explained Archbishop Walter O'Reilly, " I cannot believe the world could have been so deceived. The Good Book says that Lucifer would come as an angel of light to fool people, I can see many people in the UN have been fooled by this angel of light, but really a monster from the pits of Hell."
Letila
25-11-2003, 04:06
We're having the opposite problem. Business is getting too powerful. We may have to tighten up on it again. 2000th post!

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