NationStates Jolt Archive

Mr. Secretary, I am directed by my President to announce to this body the actions taken to bring Goobergunchia into compliance with the resolution to "improve" worldwide human and civil rights just passed by the UN.

The Goobergunchian Low Council, meeting in emergency session, passed the following legislation which has been signed by the President:

The Republic of Goobergunchia hereby enacts the following Common Sense Code:

COMMON SENSE CODE

SECTION 1. BEVERAGES

For purposes of compliance with the UN resolution "Common Sense Act II", no beverage shall be deemed "hot" unless its temperature can be proven to exceed 1,000,000 degrees Centigrade.

SEC. 2. TOOL USAGE

For purposes of compliance with the UN resolution "Common Sense Act II", the only usage of a tool that shall be deemed as "reckless or improper" may be as follows:

(1) Without safety gear, herein defined as clothing.

(2) A purpose the tool is obviously not supposed to do, herein defined as attempting to make life easier, in any form, for a citizen of Fantasan.

SEC. 3. LEGAL PRODUCT CONSUMPTION

For purposes of compliance with the UN resolution "Common Sense Act II",

(1) A product shall be deemed high in fat only if its fat content is 100%.

(2) A product shall be deemed damaging to the body only if it causes immediate death upon injestion.

(3) Fast food is hereby defined as food that can be recieved when traveling at a speed of over 100 kilometers per hour.

(4) Tobacco is hereby defined as a crop to be designated by the Ministry of Agriculture grown in the Confederacy of The Stars and Bars.

SEC. 4. CRIMINAL INJURIES.

For purposes of compliance with the UN resolution "Common Sense Act II", all cases of bodily harm incurred during the commission of a crime shall be deemed as such and not deemed as injuries except for cutting oneself on a broken pane of glass while burglarizing a home.

SEC. 5. FANTASAN

The Republic of Goobergunchia may recieve no products imported from Fantasan.

Signed on this 12th day of September 2003,

MARTIN GOOBERGUNCH,

President.


Lord Evif, Goobergunchian UN Ambassador
DU Regional Delegate

EDITED to add amendments adopted late today and signed into law.

SEC. 2. TOOL USAGE

For purposes of compliance with the UN resolution "Common Sense Act II", the only usage of a tool that shall be deemed as "reckless or improper" may be as follows:

(1) Without safety gear, herein defined as clothing.

(2) A purpose the tool is obviously not supposed to do, herein defined as attempting to extract one's appendix.



We the People's Republic Of Amyth are curious if you are not opening your medical community to being sued everytime a doctor removes one's appendix? That is, of course, assuming he uses some sort of tool and not his own teeth.

SEC. 2. TOOL USAGE

For purposes of compliance with the UN resolution "Common Sense Act II", the only usage of a tool that shall be deemed as "reckless or improper" may be as follows:

(1) Without safety gear, herein defined as clothing.

(2) A purpose the tool is obviously not supposed to do, herein defined as attempting to extract one's appendix.



We the People's Republic Of Amyth are curious if you are not opening your medical community to being sued everytime a doctor removes one's appendix? That is, of course, assuming he uses some sort of tool and not his own teeth.

[ooc: Good point...]

The Goobergunchian Low Council has approved the following amendment to the Common Sense Code, which is expected to be signed later today:

The Republic of Goobergunchia hereby amends Section 2 of the Common Sense Code to read as follows:

SEC. 2. TOOL USAGE

For purposes of compliance with the UN resolution "Common Sense Act II", the only usage of a tool that shall be deemed as "reckless or improper" may be as follows:

(1) Without safety gear, herein defined as clothing.

(2) A purpose the tool is obviously not supposed to do, herein defined as attempting to extract one's [appendix] stomach and large intestine.

Mr. Secretary, I am directed by my President to announce to this body the actions taken to bring Goobergunchia into compliance with the resolution to "improve" worldwide human and civil rights just passed by the UN.

The Goobergunchian Low Council, meeting in emergency session, passed the following legislation which has been signed by the President:

The Republic of Goobergunchia hereby enacts the following Common Sense Code:

COMMON SENSE CODE

SECTION 1. BEVERAGES

For purposes of compliance with the UN resolution "Common Sense Act II", no beverage shall be deemed "hot" unless its temperature can be proven to exceed 1,000,000 degrees Centigrade.

SEC. 2. TOOL USAGE

For purposes of compliance with the UN resolution "Common Sense Act II", the only usage of a tool that shall be deemed as "reckless or improper" may be as follows:

(1) Without safety gear, herein defined as clothing.

(2) A purpose the tool is obviously not supposed to do, herein defined as attempting to extract one's appendix.

SEC. 3. LEGAL PRODUCT CONSUMPTION

For purposes of compliance with the UN resolution "Common Sense Act II",

(1) A product shall be deemed high in fat only if its fat content is 100%.

(2) A product shall be deemed damaging to the body only if it causes immediate death upon injestion.

(3) Fast food is hereby defined as food that can be recieved when traveling at a speed of over 100 kilometers per hour.

(4) Tobacco is hereby defined as a crop to be designated by the Ministry of Agriculture grown in the Confederacy of The Stars and Bars.

SEC. 4. CRIMINAL INJURIES.

For purposes of compliance with the UN resolution "Common Sense Act II", all cases of bodily harm incurred during the commission of a crime shall be deemed as such and not deemed as injuries except for cutting oneself on a broken pane of glass while burglarizing a home.

SEC. 5. FANTASAN

The Republic of Goobergunchia may recieve no products imported from Fantasan.

Signed on this 12th day of September 2003,

MARTIN GOOBERGUNCH,

President.


Lord Evif, Goobergunchian UN Ambassador
DU Regional Delegate

LOL! :lol:

PLEASE Post this as a proposal in the UN, so others can follow your intelligent lead! :D

I have been approached by KidSurgeryCorp, Nipplestretchistan's largest maker of stomach and large intestine removal products for pre-teens, to ask that your nation no longer deem it's products as unsafe. Please consider re-writing Section 2, Subsection 2 to read:

(2) A purpose the tool is obviously not supposed to do, herein defined as attempting to make life easier, in any form, for a citizen of Fantasan.

I have been approached by KidSurgeryCorp, Nipplestretchistan's largest maker of stomach and large intestine removal products for pre-teens, to ask that your nation no longer deem it's products as unsafe. Please consider re-writing Section 2, Subsection 2 to read:

(2) A purpose the tool is obviously not supposed to do, herein defined as attempting to make life easier, in any form, for a citizen of Fantasan.

LMAO! I'll see if I can get this through the Low Council.

Lord Goobergunch, Goobergunchian President
DU Regional Delegate

[ooc: Look for this to get added later today by a one-vote margin.]

The great thing about an anarcho-communist socioty is that such silly laws are irrelevant and unenforcable.

We are sure Fantasan is quaking that he can't send products to your country, considering he only has like 200+ NCA affiliates behind him.

With your current foreign policy, we at Carpage recommend you no longer send rice to China, sand to Iran, or ice to Iceland.

PLEASE Post this as a proposal in the UN, so others can follow your intelligent lead!

Done.

Wow. You now have an unsafe country.

This is what we call 'counter-productive'.

Wow. You now have an unsafe country.

This is what we call 'counter-productive'.

Huh?

We are sure Fantasan is quaking that he can't send products to your country, considering he only has like 200+ NCA affiliates behind him.

With your current foreign policy, we at Carpage recommend you no longer send rice to China, sand to Iran, or ice to Iceland.

Sorry you had to hear it this way but, only about 20-40 of those countries arent puppet nations.