NationStates Jolt Archive

Because this post contains an ad, the IC intro post will be #2. With luck, this will be the only OOC post of the thread, as I will direct you to the OOC thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=587684); please keep all OOC comments there to reduce clutter here. Questions, or pointing out where I've made colossal errors through, can go in the OOC thread or be addressed via telegram. Edit: I think that came off as an unnecessarily bossy beginning. Given this is my first time hosting anything, any comments would be very helpful.

This page (http://www.scrum.com/scrum/rugby/story/94069.html), plus of course Wikipedia, is a helpful guide if you don't know much about rugby union. For reference to the NS RWC, see here (http://nswiki.net/index.php?title=Rugby_World_Cup).

If you are submitting a roster, which hopefully you will do, please include the following:
- the names of your players and their positions (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rugby_union_positions);
- who your designated kicker is;
- your RP permissions:
If my opponent RPs first, they may:
Choose my score (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Playing_rugby_union#Scoring) breakdown Y/N i.e. decide if 15 points is 5 penalties, three tries, etc.
Choose my scorers Y/N
Godmode scoring events Y/N
Give my players yellow/red cards Y/N a yellow card incurs a ten-minute "sin binning" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sin_bin#Rugby_football)
Injure my players Y/N
Godmode injuries Y/N
Godmode other events Y/NRosters are linked from post #3 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14723832&postcount=3).

The intro post is mainly to illustrate the already glaring point that I have no life whatsoever, and to give potential ideas for RP. Good luck to everyone involved, and hopefully we will get at least some activity.

http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/3512/logo2e1.png

The Quintessential Rugby Union Board, in association with the NationStates Rugby Board and Somewhereistonia Sporting Association, and in partnership with the Bank of Highmark, BobBank, Klein & Klein, QuinTel, Quintessential Computer Systems, SuperSkol and TEQQ, with balls provided by Blickblau Sports Equipment, is proud to announce the end of this sentence and the beginning of the 12th NationStates Rugby World Cup.

Given the close outcome of the vote that awarded the hosting duties of the World Cup to Quintessence of Dust, the QRUB has taken the unilateral decision to stage a small number of games in Somewhereistonia, although they will take charge of the administration of these games.* As such, three group stage games, one repechage game, and one quarter-final will take place in Somewhereistonia.

We welcome 15 teams to the tournament, ten of which have previously competed in Rugby World Cups, including the champions of the last two editions. A draw will be conducted to determine the groups for the tournament format, which circumstances have forced us to revise:

Format

Each team will be in a group of 5, and play each other team once, with the following points allocated:
- 4 for a win
- 2 for a draw
- 1 for a loss by 7 points or fewer
- 0 for a loss by 8 points or more

For tiebreakers (hereafter 'points' means points scored in a game e.g. 5 for a try, not earned for a result e.g. 4 for a win): i) points difference; ii) total points for; iii) number of wins; iv) head-to-head results; v) head-to-head points difference; vi) head-to-head total points for.

At the end of the group stage, a three-day repechage round will occur in which the teams finishing third in each group will play each other. The top two teams from each group plus the top two teams after repechage will then progress to the quarter-finals; thereafter, the tournament is a knock-out, with extra time if scores are level after 80 minutes, 20 minutes of extra time will be played, followed by, if still needed, 10 minutes of sudden death, followed by a drop goal shoot-out.

About Quintessence of Dust

Quintessence of Dust (http://nswiki.net/index.php?title=Quintessence_of_Dust) is a nation of just 5 million people, known for its history of anti-slavery advocacy, its low levels of government corruption, and its expansive welfare state. It is, in all other respects, an utterly average and irrelevant backwater whose chief accomplishments have been in fields no one else can be bothered to partake of, such as opera, sociology, and alpine skiing. In general, visiting teams will find the people hospitable but slightly boring. Additionally, reticence - for example, a profound fear of hugging and public displays of affection, a tendency to answer questions with the shortest possible sentence - should not be mistaken for rudeness. It's just how we are. Don't try telling jokes: we won't get them.

Rugby union is the national sport and is very popular among the populace, in particular in the West and North. For the purposes of the group round, each group will be based in a distinct geographical error. The following is a brief guide:

Central

Highmark City is the capital, and by far the largest urban area, home to almost a quarter of the nation's entire population. Of course, this still doesn't make it particularly large compared with the cities of many other nations, into whose back pocket it would comfortably fit. (Please don't try, you'll squash Congress.) <-- See? Quodite humour. It is the most cosmopolitan area and has the best facilities, but has the lowest level of interest in rugby.

The city's attractions include the National Gallery, currently showing I Have Made An Art, a contemporary exhibition featuring former WA Ambassador Ethel "Kneecracker" Typhoid's neo-deconstructo-pointilist works, and the Quintessential National Opera, whose outstanding vocal skills would make them world famous if it weren't for their tendency to perform pieces about the tragedies of bureaucracy in Quodite life.

Matches will be played at the National Stadium of Sports, the 35,000 capacity main stadium of the country, and Greenfields Road in Toonmar, the northern suburb.

Northern

The North is the region most heavily populated by Scandinavian immigrants. Although primarily associated with winter sports - it is the home of leading ski clubs Greschmeier and Kynythin - rugby enjoys a strong following, second only to ice hockey. The people in the North are considered the friendliest in the country, and are mostly offensively good-looking.

Possible diversions for visiting fans include scenic walks in the Quintessential Alps (it is now too late in the season for skiing), a trip east to industrial cities Rahlia and Nowy Orpington, the latter newly redeveloped thanks to investment from Samseong, or a day at The Pool of Nothing, the country's leading spiritual retreat for atheists.

Games will be played at Snowborough Stadium in Frendry, home of the Greschmeier Mountain Sports Club (teams should note the high altitude) and The Holy Immaculate Stadium of Saint Grapefruit the Anomic, where football team FC Drongosnort play their home games. The stadium is named after the only Quodite saint, not widely recognised by other Catholics.

Western

The traditional Liberal base of Quintessence of Dust, the West has a stormy history, having started the First Civil War and ended the Second (by killing everyone else). More recently, Westerners have developed a particularly brutal combination of an inferiority complex and a suspicion of others, out of spite of the Social Democratic-dominated politics of the federal government. Rugby is most popular here, followed by field hockey; they have barely heard of "football".

It is home of the leading university, the University of West Sponson, a traditional hub of liberal economics and sociology, and a richer province, though the others are doing their level best to tax the living bollocks off the monied Western elite. UWS plays host to the nation's only copyright library; other attractions include the headquarters of the nation's largest corporation, Klein & Klein, a fashion house founded in 1914 and then called Klein, Klein & Klein; known as KKK, they specialised in flowing white robes. Soon thereafter they encountered mysterious PR problems and decided to rebrand themselves by dropping a K and shifting their attention to overly tight black clothes, now vastly popular among Quodite youngsters. The music scene is especially strong, mostly consisting of Q-pop (dream pop) and post-rock, and the cuisine more varied than the standard Quodite stodge-on-a-stick; it includes the world's only Brazilian-Icelandic fusion restaurant. (There is a huge immigrant Icelandic population.)

Games will be played at New Cleethorpes Deathshriek Park in the region's largest city, home of the country's leading rugby club, and at The Goldfish Bowl in Piedmont, also in West Sponson, a dual-use rugby/football stadium.

Additional notes

Referees will be drawn from a pool of QPL officials, plus any foreign volunteers. The QRUB will be trying out experimental law variations (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/rugby_union/7597696.stm) in the group stages. All teams will be assigned a minder who will assist them with any questions and queries.

The QRUB wishes team involved the best of the luck for the championship, which will begin once teams arrive. In the meantime, teams may request a warm-up Test against another nation if they wish.

* OOC: The games will be scorinated as usual by me. A similar practice has been conducted in RL World Cups.

"Hello, I'm Alyssa Banana and welcome to a special edition of Sport Gort, broadcasting live from the newly built Department of Sport. I'm joined by Secretary of Sport Alfred Cynus; Martin Rankin, Chair of the Quintessential Rugby Union Board; and Poppy Mellor from Klein & Klein. Obviously, great excitement in the nation as preparations for Rugby WorldCup XII move into their final stages. First, let's some back at some golden memories."

A montage plays, featuring images from past Rugby World Cups: Dark Teutonia beating allcomers only to fall to a dwarven team from Cockbill Street, Starblaydia notching up 127 points over Phallahstine, East Lithuania's penalty in the final, Austian celebrations as Harry Rushmore scores, James Keay's late try for hosts Haraki, Rorysville's Jordan Stahl kicking a penalty to the dismay of Carl Spencer, Snake Eaters's surprise win, blurry footage of naked Northlanders taking on surprised Pa'atuans, Matthew Robinson's controversial last minute drop goal, Enilson Beattie scoring for Candelaria And Marquez, Josh Laclan's try for Kelssek. The last section shows Quintessence of Dust getting utterly dicked on by Sorthern Northland, meaning the small crowd meets the footage with less than wild applause.

"Some great memories. Mr Secretary, what kind of message do you think Quintessence of Dust's hosting could send to the rest of the world?"

"I'm not sure the rest of the world has noticed."

"Oh. Well, no matter. We're ready for the draw now. Mr Rankin, could you explain how it will work?"

"Yes, thank you Poppy. Nine teams have been seeded from one to, well, nine, based on their current standings in the official NSRB world rankings (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14697304&postcount=40), and placed into Pot 1. The six unranked teams have been placed into Pot 2. In order to maintain a balance, three seeded teams and two unranked teams will be drawn into each of three groups of five teams."

"That sounds fair, and if it isn't, well, it's a bit late now. Ms Mellor, if you'd be so kind."

Poppy Mellor shakes a mysterious device, and out pops a printed sheet of paper.

"Ok Alyssa, the draw for Rugby World Cup XII."
Group A - Central

Lovisa (4)
Candelaria And Marquez (5) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14733819&postcount=11)
Quintessence of Dust (9) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14724131&postcount=4)
Krytenia (-)
Unreal229 (-) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14725662&postcount=7)

Group B - Northern

Sorthern Northland (2) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14735299&postcount=13)
West Zirconia (6) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14727536&postcount=9)
Milchama (8)
Norwellia (-) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14724166&postcount=5)
The Bye (-) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14735120&postcount=12)

Group C - Western

Kelssek (1) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14726111&postcount=8)
Taeshan (3)
Peisandros (7) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14728914&postcount=10)
Socialism and Football (-) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14742129&postcount=18)
Somewhereistonia (-) (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14724282&postcount=6)
"Thank you to Alfred Cynus, Martin Rankin, and Poppy Mellor. Back to the studio now, where Brian Gobbleson has the latest football news..."

Shorthand schedule

MD1: 1v4, 2v3, 5 off
MD2: 1v3, 4v5, 2 off
MD3: 2v5, 3v4, 1 off
MD4: 1v5, 2v4, 3 off
MD5: 1v2, 3v5, 4 off

Longhand schedule

Matchday One (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14742302&postcount=20)

Lovisa v Krytenia (@ Spektakl-3-Arena [Somewhereistonia])
Candelaria And Marquez v Quintessence of Dust (@ National Stadium of Sports)

Sorthern Northland v Norwellia (@ Holy Immaculate Stadium of Saint Grapefruit the Anomic)
West Zirconia v Milchama (@ Snowborough Stadium)

Kelssek v Socialism and Football (@ New Cleethorpes Deathshriek Park)
Taeshan v Peisandros (@ Goldfish Bowl)

Matchday Two (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14745942&postcount=25)

Lovisa v Quintessence of Dust (@ National Stadium of Sports)
Krytenia v Unreal229 (@ Greenfields Road)

Sorthern Northland v Milchama (@ Snowborough Stadium)
Norwellia v The Bye (@ Holy Immaculate Stadium of Saint Grapefruit the Anomic)

Kelssek v Peisandros (@ New Cleethorpes Deathshriek Park)
Socialism and Football v Somewhereistonia (@ Goldfish Bowl)

Matchday Three (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14748938&postcount=28)

Candelaria And Marquez v Unreal 229 (@ National Stadium of Sports)
Quintessence of Dust v Krytenia (@ Greenfields Road)

West Zirconia v The Bye (@ Snowborough Stadium)
Milchama v Norwellia (@ Dynami Arena [Somewhereistonia])

Taeshan v Somewhereistonia (@ New Cleethorpes Deathshriek Park)
Peisandros v Socialism and Football (@ Goldfish Bowl)

Matchday Four (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14753015&postcount=32)

Lovisa v Unreal229 (@ National Stadium of Sports)
Candelaria And Marquez v Krytenia (@ Greenfields Road)

Sorthern Northland v The Bye (@ Snowborough Stadium)
West Zirconia v Norwellia (@ Holy Immaculate Stadium of Saint Grapefruit the Anomic)

Kelssek v Somewhereistonia (@ New Cleethorpes Deathshriek Park)
Taeshan v Socialism and Football (@ Goldfish Bowl)

Matchday Five (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14757367&postcount=37)

Lovisa v Candelaria And Marquez (@ National Stadium of Sports)
Quintessence of Dust v Unreal229 (@ Greenfields Road)

Sorthern Northland v West Zirconia (@ Snowborough Stadium)
Milchama v The Bye (@ Holy Immaculate Stadium of Saint Grapefruit the Anomic)

Kelssek v Taeshan (@ Capitol Arena [Somewhereistonia])
Peisandros v Somewhereistonia (@ Goldfish Bowl)

Schedule and grounds for subsequent rounds. (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14757500&postcount=39)

http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/1245/19119262.png
Quintessence of Dust Roster

With Edward "Big Ted" Large having moved onto the national football team, the QRUB have had to choose a new coach, and have appointed Wolfgang Andrews, who played in the back row during Quintessence of Dust's disastrous RWCXI. Perhaps surprisingly, given how poorly the team then performed, he has kept a similar squad. The major changes include star player Bill Gerhard's move to outside centre, and the dropping of the precocious Jack Peters in favour of Sean Reilly, who switches from left wing.

Team

1. Klaus Kastner (Highmark Zzubs)
2. Thibaut Cliché (Tourseilles)
3. Barry Pullman (captain) (New Cleethorpes Deathshriek)
4. Danny Mensen (Highmark City Irish)
5. Guo Shao (Toonmar)
6. Jim Adams (New Cleethorpes Deathshriek)
7. Rene Friedman (Tourseilles)
8. Dean Olafson (Ballat)

9. Tommy Donegan (Highmark City Irish)
10. Sean Reilly (Highmark City Irish)
11. George Hall (Priassa)
12. Bill Gerhard (kicker) (Albersau)
13. Bernard Franks (Nowy Orpington Cellists)
14. Ron Diller (Toonmar)
15. Michael Daecher (Ballat)

Reserves

16. Lester Watson (Albersau) - back row
17. Stefan Karlsen (Combined Veterans) - back row
18. Alex Parker (Combined Veterans) - prop
19. Jack Peters (Greschmeier) - stand-off
20. Ignace Durand (Tourseilles) - centre
21. Willy Zimmerman (Toonmar) - wing/fullback
22. Bobby Zimmerman (Toonmar) - wing/fullback
23. Stephan Kirsch (Ballat) - prop
24. Matt Gray (New Cleethorpes Deathshriek) - back row
25. Erwin Dahl (Priassa) - winger
26. Joe Carter (Central) - hooker
27. Clovis Chouinard (Tourseilles) - second row
28. Martin Sankt (Albersau) - scrum half
29. Mathias Hedlund (Toonmar) - centre
30. Soren Pinneau (Tourseilles) - second row

If my opponent RPs first, they may:
Choose my score breakdown Y
Choose my scorers Y - please use Gerhard for kicking
Godmode scoring events Y
Give my players yellow/red cards Y
Injure my players Y - I will decide severity
Godmode injuries Y - Asa Bove
Godmode other events Y
The All Greys favour a very physical style of play, heavy on rolling mauls and quick-ball drives, light on complex passing moves; most of the backs rely on strength, not fleetness of foot or fancy ball skills. Their greatest strength is probably their lineout game, their greatest weakness just about every aspect of their play.

If my opponent RPs first, they may:
Choose my score breakdown Y
Choose my scorers Y
Godmode scoring events Y (but only things that could happen IRL)
Give my players yellow/red cards Y
Injure my players Y (let me determine the severity)
Godmode injuries N
Godmode other events N

Group B - Northern

2 Sorthern Northland
6 West Zirconia
8 Milchama
UNR Norwellia
UNR The Bye

MD1: Sorthern Northland (HISSGA)
MD2: The Bye (HISSGA)
MD3: Milchama (Dynami Arena, Somewhereistonia)
MD4: West Zirconia (HISSGA)
MD5: -off-

The roster:

Player Club Age
Backs

Scrum-Halfs
원석건 Merseault Broncos 27
Kiamu I Kansuvil Stirner Tigers 26
Breaca Tinney Proudhon Raiders 22
Mikhail Temirkanov Forest Glen Cowboys 33

Fly-Halfs
Rodolfa Vala Kropotkin Dragons 24
Soŋ Yoŋ-sa Winston Wasps 31
Splebist Brameit Kropotkin Dragons 33

Inside Centre
Diomī́dīs Kastoriádīs Kropotkin Dragons 25
Daniel Turner Winston Wasps 18
Kyle Grey Forest Glen Cowboys 20

Outside Centre
Gawen Trawella Merseault Broncos 27
Evgeny Tolstoy Proudhon Raiders 33
Nikolai Savrasov Winston Wasps 25

Wings
Morwenna Tremain Leninberg Falcons 20
Fransisko Eqpósito Kropotkin Dragons 29
Atxunus Kansu Forest Glen Cowboys 20

Fullbacks
Ethan Turner Merseault Broncos 21
Davido Azkarato Kropotkin Dragons 32

Forwards

Hooker
Kyle Yates Merseault Broncos 30
Russell Calhoun Oceanview City 21
Théodore Pellerin Kropotkin Dragons 33

Prop
Sehenil Jejekana Sinope Warriors 24
Spelaad Thug Kropotkin Dragons 31
Newlyn Laity Steppenwolf Knights 29
Rubena Ambrona Merseault Broncos 18

Lock
Aram Korolev Merseault Broncos 26
Sergey Ogarev Stirner Tigers 18
Julien Grandbois Guerrillas de Cataluña 21
Inixher Kaxini Leninberg Falcons 30

Flanker
Michel Généreux Sinope Warriors 34
Timothée Mireault Leninberg Falcons 33
Sarmpél Rítsos Merseault Broncos 30
Karu Iniheu Kropotkin Dragons 32
Spesseurs Ponten Stirner Tigers 31

Number eight
Veronica Scott Leninberg Falcons 26
Rikarda Eqpósita Murray Grove Panthers 32


Starting lineup:

Sehenil Jejekana Kyle Yates Spelaad Thug

Aram Korolev Sergey Ogarev

Michel Généreux Veronica Scott Timothée Mireault

원석건

Rodolfa Vala

Diomī́dīs Kastoriádīs

Gawen Trawella

Morwenna Tremain Fransisko Eqpósito

Ethan Turner


Kicker: Diomī́dīs Kastoriádīs

http://s156.photobucket.com/albums/t38/unreal229/th_Fila.png First kit http://s156.photobucket.com/albums/t38/unreal229/th_Patrick3.png Second Kit http://s156.photobucket.com/albums/t38/unreal229/th_Patrick4.png Third Kit

Like other Somewhereistonia teams, the national Rugby team is very attacking, focusing on well drilled teamwork and intricate passing. The team have been training solidly the last two weeks, and so far, there have only been two minor brawls between Kabano and Karrakiv team players (The states of Balakarassia and Kabano have a major rivalry which has been directly transferred to the sport of rugby).

Coach: Jaak Taagepera

1. Toomas Kaska (25) [Kabano Bears]
2.Kuzys Kolimov (31) [Kabano Bears]
3.Cech Transva (29) [RFK Koltelcia] Vice-captain
4.Urbin Milovski (23) [Qasarian Sparta]
5.Oleksandr Tashrubin (28) [Kabano Bears]
6.Vladimir Chanchenko (27) [Kabano Maurauders]
7.Maz Titilov (32) [Karrkiv Warriors]
8.Frikis Alksnis (19) [Qasarian Sparta]
9.Helmuts Balodis (21) [Dinamo Karrakiv]
10.Krišjānis Čakste (30), Designated Kicker [Kabano Bears] Captain
11.Aivars Dārziņš (39) [Dinamo Karrakiv] Vice-captain
12.Nikolaj Kūla (22) [RFK Koltelcia]
13.Dainis Leedskalnin (25) [Kabano Bears]
14.Leo Olijars (28) [Talla Heretics]
15.Yakov Ozoliņš (25) [Karrakiv Wolves]


16.Oleksandr Pedegs (19) [Dinamo Karrakiv] Fwd
17.Artis Peka (26) [Rig Vikings] Fwd
18.Kaspars Pabriks (25) [Baltrex] Fwd (Hooker)
19.Brunis Repše (27) [Talla Heretics] Fwd
20.Inta Rothko (26) [Kabano Bears] No. 8
21.Stanislavs Sveshnikov (25) [Island Pirates] Half-Back
22.Gustav Zatlers (30) [Modraine Sharks] Half-Back
23.Jarics Aasmäe (19) [RFK Koltelcia] Back
24.Yakov Kallas (20) [Kabano Bears] Back
25.Mark Koern (24) [Dinamo Karrakiv] Back
26.Elmar Ligi (26) [Qasarian Sparta] Back
27.Lennart Maripuu (33) [Qasarian Sparta] Full-back/Wing
28.Otto Sirk (29) [Kabano Maurauders] Full-back/Wing
29.Artur Savisaar (21) [RFK Koltelcia] Full-back/Wing
30.Alexei Tamm (22) [Kabano Maurauders] Utility player

Positions: http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t38/unreal229/teamsheet.png?t=1240361339

If my opponent RPs first, they may:
Choose my score breakdown Y
Choose my scorers Y
Godmode scoring events Y
Give my players yellow/red cards Y
Injure my players Y (Nothing Major)
Godmode injuries Y (see above)
Godmode other events Y

http://s156.photobucket.com/albums/t38/unreal229/th_Unreal229H.png First Kit http://s156.photobucket.com/albums/t38/unreal229/th_Unreal229A.png Second Kit

The wise and aged team of Unreal229 come here to plays a cautious game. Rarely giving up possession they are an extremely hard team to break down, although their attacking options are limited because of their slow average speed. Unreal229 can boast the oldest (52) and youngest (15) players ever to compete in the Rugby World Cup (as far as they are aware). They can also surely boast the oldest average squad ever.

Coach: Mimaki Sujin

1.Waka Tarasihiko (31)
2.Tarasi Nakatsuhiko (32)
3.Oho Yamato Tarasihiko (40) Captain
4.Kuniosi Hito (34) Vice captain
5.Kamuyamato Iwarebiko (29)
6.Mimatsuhiko Kaesine (27)
7.Misu wa Wake (30)
8.Wo Asazuma Wakugo no Sukune (32)
9.Anaho no Mikoto (33)
10.Siraga Takehiro Kuni (35) *Designated kicker
11.Osi Wakai Yamato (43)
12.Neko no Mikoto (32)
13.Takeo Hirokuni Oshitate (31)
14.Hirokuni Oshitake Kanahi (37)
15.Toyomike Kashikiyahime (41)


16.Ame Yorozu Toyohi (36) Fwd
17.Katsuragi Nakano-ooe (44) Fwd
18.Yamatoneko Amatsu Mishiro (40) Fwd
19.Toyokuni Narihime (29) Hooker
20.Shirakabe Ōi (31) No. 8
21.Amemune Takatsugi (15) Half-back
22.Ameoshikuni Takahiko (33) Half-back
23.HelosTokiyasu (25) Back
24.Helos Sadami (31) Back
25.Akihito Narihito (30) Back
26.Mutsuhito Hirohito (52) Back
27.Go-Minoo Tsuguhito (26) Wing
28.Okiko Kotohito (29) Wing
29.Okihito Iyahito (35) Full back
30.Toohito Teruhito (40) Utility player

Positions: http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t38/unreal229/teamsheet.png?t=1240394065

If my opponent RPs first, they may:
Choose my score breakdown Y
Choose my scorers Y
Godmode scoring events Y
Give my players yellow/red cards Y
Injure my players Y (Nothing Major)
Godmode injuries Y (see above)
Godmode other events Y

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/kelssekrugbyfederation.gif
Kelssek Rugby Federation | Fédération kelssekien de rugby

First-choice lineup
1 Evan Benacki (Clayquot Reds)
2 Owen Vanderbiss (Neorvins Argos)
3 Kenneth LeGrady (Neorvins Battery)
4 Ross McLachlan (Redswyth Rebels)
5 Josh Lachlan (Latrobe AFC)
6 Stephane Fournier (Kirkenes Crusaders)
7 Alexandre Ducque (Kirkenes Crusaders)
8 Lionel Beauvais (Outineau Nordiques)

9 Sean O'Bryden (Neorvins Argos)
10 Joel Danforth (Latrobe AFC)
11 Richard Duclos (Mazinaw Stallions)
12 Lee Navanich (Outineau Nordiques)
13 Hugh Kitchener (Vickery)
14 Thomas Pyatt (Neorvins Argos)
15 Rendel Clark (Wentonweakes RFC)

Other squad members

Forwards:
Pierre-Marc Lafleur (Burnaby Lions)
Lyle Andrew (Rotor Novanaya)
Bryan Cantoney (Breton RFC)
Julian Smythe (Hamilton Tiger-Cats)
Terrance Bay (Burnaby Lions)
Mark Kennedy (Redswyth Rebels)
Olivier Pardeau (Mazinaw Stallions)

Backs:
Alain Lafleur (Redswyth Rebels)
Douglas Weiss (Clayquot Reds)
Daniel Worsley (Breton RFC)
William Deekes (Kirkenes Crusaders)
Ryan Neville (Outineau Nordiques)
Patrick Cantwell (Mazinaw Stallions)
Matthieu Duclos (Outineau Nordiques)
Michael Wainwright (Neorvins Argos)

Fresh from the WZRU headquarters in Bradley is the news that the World Cup squad is unchanged from the one which performed surprisingly well during the last World Cup. It is hoped that they can go one further on this occasion.

The first XV for the World Cup will be as follows:

Forwards:
1 Simon Henry (Redwood)
2 Lawrence Johnston (St. Martin Bees)
3 Ged Underwood (Oakley)
4 Bobby Berry (Moorcroft)
5 Andy Gibson (Bradley and Elwell)
6 David Hall (Snaith Marlins)
7 Matthew Jones (Clwb Rygbi Caernewydd)
8 Alan Forrester (Flockton Flavell)

Backs:
9 Ian Monaghan (Currie Celtic)
10 Geoff Rodgers (Snaith Marlins)
11 Gavin Duffy (Mort Park)
12 Rory Spencer (St. Martin Bees)
13 Alex Morris (Flockton Flavell)
14 Jamie Parker (c) (Bradley and Elwell)
15 Stephen Jones (Redwood)

The rest of the squad are:

Forwards:
16 Jon Wallace (Mort Park)
17 Craig Whittaker (Moorcroft)
18 Steve Thorne (Oakley)
19 Paul Wilson (Moorcroft)
20 Michael Hill (Clwb Rygbi Caernewydd)
21 Stephen Foster (Oakley)
22 Michael King (Snaith Marlins)

Backs:
23 Gordon Taylor (Flockton Flavell)
24 Eugene Farley (St. Martin Bees)
25 Phil Nurse (Redwood)
26 Gordon Paterson (Currie Celtic)
27 Phil Radcliffe (Bradley and Elwell)
28 Chris Stead (Mort Park)
29 Danny Tomkins (Clwb Rygbi Caernewydd)



[OOC: Everything allowed except godmods. I know this is totally fictional, but I do like a bit of realism. However, unlikely events that could still physically happen are quite acceptable - the funnier the better.]

For some reason, Peisandros has decided to send a team made up of immigrants for this World Cup.

Roster!
Starters:

Fullback, 15: Matt Johns
Winger, 14: David Windertop
Centre, 13: Ma'a Tuiloagno
2nd Five, 12: Conrad Tool ** Kicker.
Winger, 11: Zach Julo
1st Five, 10: Matty Rage ** Captain.
Halfback, 9: Younis Allabakhan

Number 8, 8: Sammy Stafford
Openside Flanker, 7: Terry Johnson
Blindside Flanker, 6: Jerry Cunningpork
Lock, 5: Timber Jones
Lock, 4: Hamish McKenneth ** Vice-captain.
Tighthead Prop, 3: Thomas Ferry
Hooker, 2: Akram Mallach
Loosehead Prop, 1: Dave Groth

Expected bench:

16: Edward Greene (Hooker)
17: Nee Tulio (Prop, either side)
18: Shorty Essingdon (Lock)
19: Isiah Fuimaonio (Loose Forwards)
20: Alexander Woodward (Halfback/1st Five)
21: Michael Allachma (Centres)
22: Karthiik Master (1st Five, Centres, Wing, Fullback)

Rest of the squad:

23: Todd Illionga (Tighthead Prop)
24: Simon Burrow (Loosehead Prop)
25: Blake Nirow (Lock)
26: Jack Misbah (Flanker)
27: Si Blanket (Loose Forwards)
28: Brad Kenny (1st Five, 2nd Five)
29: Jonai Tuiha (Centres, Fullback)
30: Nano Chong (Winger)


Shock, outrage and other stuff at experimental laws.

The Peisandros Association for the Real Rugby has today slammed hosts of the Rugby World Cup, Quintessence of Dust, for deciding to use the new and highly controversial ELVs. The move shocked experts who were still struggling to come to grips with the laws at a national level and they expressed horror at the fact that many international players have little or no experience with the laws and would now be expected to adjust.

"It isn't good" Chairman Peteris Zion said today. "Not good at all. In our experience the laws have actually slowed the game down and made it boring. We saw an increase of around 0.4% of club players leaving rugby to play that filthy game league, and we believe this is a direct relationship to the stupid new laws. Unfortunately there is not much we can do about it. We have expressed our disgust at the decision, but we are not expecting much change. We're only the 10th ranked team in the world so our view doesn't count for much, yet."

Players as well were disappointed, but wanted to remain anonymous to avoid being harassed upon arriving at the World Cup. One had this to say:
"I'm going to stand on someone's ankle and break it. I wonder what the new laws say about that!"
Uhh, another more relevant one:
"Yeah, I don't like them much. We tried them at our club but it wasn't fun so we just paid the ref to not follow them, everyone was happy."

It remains to be seen how the Sandrians will be able to adapt but it should be interesting to say the least. Stay tuned as we follow the boys through the competition.

The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport>Rugby Union>RWC12>In Brief

Mitchell confirms Huge Blues squad ~ Nic Scotland in Albrecht Four years on from the damp disaster that was Septentrionia, new C&M coach Shane Mitchell has confirmed his thirty-man squad to take on the world – and starting with the hosts, Quintessence of Dust – during a lunchtime press conference.

Despite the failures of the recent past, that saw RWC10-winning coach Adi Kinsella consigned to the dustbin of history and Candelariasian hopes for international rugby success downgraded to reassuringly improbable, several members of the previous squad are retained, with star man Albie Gajarsky back from his spell in the-nation-that-dare-not-speak-its-name and handed the armband. The most crucial change however may see Zambrana Andries stepping up to kicking duties, following the international retirement of the great Mark Webb.

Mitchell, and assistant Darian O’Reilly, have selected just six players from their own Liverpool Panthers side, with only two expected to start – a massive surprise that has already provoked criticism from pundits and players alike, including some within the Panthers camp. Though quick to deny any foul play, Mitchell’s decision to overlook the claims of at least half a dozen of the Albrecht club’s league and championship-winning side to an international berth cannot help but smack of protectionism, with the World Cup coming barely weeks before the start of the domestic season in the Candelarias.

None the less, the Panthers are the most well-represented team in the squad, with the Eagles and Bulls managing only five apiece. Key to the Huge Blues’ chances however will be the form of Ryoo, of the struggling Zpinh, and a forward line notable for its inclusion of a trio of Stags stars. Caires Hedgehogs starlet Davey Collins would appear to be the major individual omission, but two Bulls teenagers receive shock call-ups – with David Pfeifenberger widely expected to make the starting XV.

Probable Starters

1. Oberon Elliot (Loosehead Prop), 30, Clotaire Stags
2. Albie Gajarsky (Hooker), 27, Warne Hogs
3. Thomas Patterson (Tighthead Prop), 31, Warne Hogs
4. Joshua McGowen (Lock), 28, Liverpool Panthers
5. Ed Usta (Lock), 28, Liverpool Panthers
6. Sean Doyle (Blindside Flanker), 22, Clotaire Stags
7. Matthew Masters (Openside Flanker), 27, El din Bulls
8. Dan Swan (Number 8), 27, Clotaire Stags

9. Florian Zurbrugg (Scrum-Half), 29, Caires Hedgehogs
10. Zambrana Andries (Fly-Half, Kicker), 26, Bove Bats
11. Ilija Lilic (Left Wing), 28, Arrigo Eagles
12. David Pfeifenberger (Inside Centre), 18, El din Bulls
13. Jacob Thompson (Outside Centre), 22, Arrigo Eagles
14. Juan Pablo O’Donovan (Right Wing), 28, Arrigo Eagles
15. Ryoo Myong-Patrick (Fullback), 24, Albrecht Zpinh

Other Squad Members

16. Darragh Barber (Hooker), 23, Liverpool Panthers
17. Aaron Quigg (Prop), 23, Liverpool Panthers
18. Ríoghbhardán Muintirlideadha (Number 8), 29, Liverpool Panthers
19. Stefan King (Lock), 26, Caires Hedgehogs
20. Fintan O’Maoilfaghmhair (Flanker), 25, Allemali Black Rats
21. James McNab (Scrum-Half), 20, Bove Bats
22. Adam Hunt (Fly Half/Centre), 18, El din Bulls
23. Matthew Whitehead (Centre/Wing), 27, Vo Rugby Club
24. Ishmäel Ngoli (Centre), 29, Warne Hogs
25. Gustavo Rosada (Right Wing), 20, El din Bulls
26. Steven Graham (Fullback), 22, Arrigo Eagles
27. Ben Neyson (Prop), 29, Liverpool Panthers
28. Larry Chalk (Openside Flanker), 26, El din Bulls
29. Ferdinand Bennett (Scrum-Half), 30, Arrigo Eagles
30. James Torrens (Fly-Half), 30, Warne Hogs

If my opponent RPs first, they may:
Choose my score breakdown Y
Choose my scorers Y
Godmode scoring events Y
Give my players yellow/red cards Y
Injure my players Y - If it makes you happy, poppet
Godmode injuries Y - Sam Asthepre-Viousanswer
Godmode other events Y

Finally, the Bye actually has decided to fully participate in a competition, not only to play against teams which were hoping to rest after some games in an odd-numbered group. Surely the most expected game of the team is the first one, against themselves. These players usually play hard in the beginning to build an advantage so they can rest in the end of the game.

Team

1- Marco Sofa (Hotel Four-Poster Beds)
2- Andenoyjian Hibernate (Cemetery Tombs)
3- Gary Bliss Meditation (Cryogenic Sleepers)
4- Yesse Trailer (Bedroom Sleeping Pills)
5- Kim Jung Snore (Restroom Sofas)
6- Timoteo Inconscious (Restroom Sofas)
7- Raphael Hallucination (Hospital Dreams)
8- Ingo Nap (Bedroom Vacations)

9- Ullare Chair (Comfort Pillows)
10- Ewing Munden Tired (Hotel Blankets)
11- Uwe Closed Eyes (Bedroom Sleeping Pills)
12- Hering School (Floor Barracks)
13- Peter Couch (Bedroom Sleeping Pills)
14- Tabacotte Sleep (Shelter Yawns)
15- Dale Bock Exhaustion (Hotel Blankets)

Reserves

16- Ferdinand Shower (Shelter Yawns)
17- Rinsen Grassfield (Snooze Guardians)
18- Batholomew Peace (Bedroom Vacations)
19- Qareo Zzzzz (Restroom Sofas)
20- Julian Aragon Healthy (Home Suites)
21- Salomao Torres Boring (Travel Reliefs)
22- Einckhardt Energy (Bedroom Sleeping Pills)
23- Wilkinsen Doorlock (Home Suites)
24- Kyle Petkow Wakeup (Hotel Blankets)
25- Dominic Cloud (Shelter Yawns)
26- Norregard Turnoff (Frozen Rest)
27- Ullisses Mattress (Bedroom Sleeping Pills)
28- Jimmy Eternarest (Comfort Pillows)
29- Lamadu Paralyze (Cryogenic Sleepers)
30- Gary Apnea (Cemetery Tombs)


If my opponent RPs first, they may:
Choose my score breakdown Y
Choose my scorers Y
Godmode scoring events Y
Give my players yellow/red cards Y
Injure my players Y
Godmode injuries Y
Godmode other events Y

Sorthern Northland Rugby World Cup 12 Squad

Probable Starting XV

1.Igor Borelli, (Prop), 29, Vespucci RUFC
2.Ryan Hughes, (Hooker), 25, Candelariasians of Beningrad RUFC
3.Christian Trout, (Prop), 27, Little Albrecht RUFC
4.William Ledanov, (Lock), 29, Metalksy RUFC
5.Archie Ervin, (Lock), 30, Metalksy RUFC
6.Alejandro Wright, (Flanker), 31, Candelariasians of Beningrad RUFC
7.Paul Jungo, (Flanker), 26, Beningrad RUFC
8.Rashid Meghen, (Number 8), 25, Corcaigh

9.Robert Parker, (Scrum Half), 25, Corcaigh
10.Noel Neyson, (Fly Half/Kick taker), 27, Candelariasians of Beningrad RUFC
11.Seidu Obiefule, (Left Wing), 25, Bay RUFC
12.Hayden Wilson, (Inside Centre), 29, Heathfield Abbey
13.Trevor Wilson, (Outside Centre), 29, Heathfield Abbey
14.Craig Wilson, (Right Wing), 29, Heathfeild Abbey
15.Wong Man-Sing, (Full Back), 22 Bay RUFC

Reserves

16.Harold Gregor, (Hooker), 23, Helroyd RUFC
17.Jimmy Gomes, (Prop), 22, Fairgate RUFC
18.Karl Hopkins, (Prop), 24, Beningrad RUFC
19.Harry Hospel, (Lock), 23, Maes-y-ogof RUFC
20.James Bayroan, (Lock), 26, Leeford RUFC
21.Freddie Ygortez, (Flanker), 25, Scottish Cardiff RUFC
22.Gethin Hughes, (Flanker), 24, Scottish Cardiff RUFC
23.Matty Young, (Number 8), 31, Candelariasians of Beningrad RUFC
24.Daryl Dwinford, (Scrum Half), 25, Oldinghamensians
25. Yaser Neisi, (Left Wing), 20, Al-Jerel RUFC
26.Brian Ngoli (Inside Centre), 21, Candelariasians of Beningrad RUFC
27.Andrew Zikolic, (Outside Centre), 19, Swanington RUFC
28.Nicky Brema, (Right Wing), 25, Swanington RUFC
29.Gerry Jenkins, (Fly Half), 23, Ballynafen RUFC
30.Cameron Jensen, (Full Back), 19, Hillaton RUFC

Kits

First/Change

http://img157.imageshack.us/img157/1457/snrugbyhomeyo5.png (http://imageshack.us)http://img157.imageshack.us/img157/9179/snrugbyawayvy6.png (http://imageshack.us)

If my opponent RP's first they may:

Choose my point scorers & point breakdown: Y
Godmod events: N
Injure my players: Y
Put my players in sinbin: Y

We've fired up the random magictron again, and can confirm the following friendlies will take place on Sunday:

Quintessence of Dust v Unreall229 (@ Eli F. Baker Memorial Arena)
Norwellia v Somewhereistonia (@ Snowborough Stadium)

Matchday 1 will be on Monday.

The Norwellian Rugby Union is proud to announce its amateur international team's spiffy new shirts:

http://i658.photobucket.com/albums/uu303/Norwellia/rugbyNTkit.png

For a deeper understanding of the color symbolism in these uniforms, see here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=587167).

There is no home/away distinction; each match will feature the kit considered less visually confusing, depending on the colors of the other team. The first shirt is called "Warmth" and the second is called "Vision".

The friendly against Somewhereistonia will feature the "Vision" kit.

Pre-tournament friendly results:

Quintessence of Dust 57 - 13 Unreal229
Norwellia 25 - 11 Somewhereistonia

Well, whoda thunk it? The Norwellian amateurs are still undefeated!

Socialism and Football roster:

1. Joe Turnpike
2. Alf Sapless
3. Nobby Sprout
4. Rod Spiggott
5. Jake Parks
6. Henry Jefferson
7. Daniel Riley
8. Rod Klein

9. Vic Buchanan (vice-captain)
10. Joe Johnson (kicker)
11. Ted Yates (captain)
12. Tom Murray
13. Herbert Berry
14. Jacob Ellis
15. Jim Lewis

16. Justin Earl
17. Joseph Lucas
18. Stanley Byrd
19. Ken Schwartz
20. Andrew Glenn
21. Ray Hammond
22. Peter Parsons
23. Daniel Randall
24. Alex West
25. Albert Gibbs
26. Joe Evans
27. Dave Pierce
28. Art Schmidt
29. Robert Wilson
30. Charlie Hardy

If my opponent RPs first, they may:
Choose my score breakdown Y
Choose my scorers Y
Godmode scoring events Y
Give my players yellow/red cards Y
Injure my players Y
Godmode injuries Y
Godmode other events Y

The New Cleethorpes Enquirer
Bright start for rugby stars

Wolfgang Andrews said he was "cautiously optimistic" following the All Greys's 57-13 victory over newcomers Unreal229 in their pre-World Cup warm-up test. But he was quick to point out that the team faced a tough first day against former champions Candelaria And Marquez, and would have to work much harder if they were to avoid a first-stage exit such as occurred at their RWC debut in Septentrionia. He is expected to name a first-choice XV for the game at the National Stadium of Sports, led by New Cleethorpes Deathshriek's Barry Pulman.

Facing perhaps the oldest (human) team ever to play in a Rugby World Cup, the All Greys ran in seven tries, with 24 points for QPL Player of the Season Bill Gerhard. Gerhard's switch from fullback to outside centre worked well, and he went over for his first Test try after 23 minutes, with the score at 6-0 after two penalties. The All Grey lineout game worked to perfection, but both sides were scrappy at the breakdown. Jim Adams in particular won plenty of ball but gave away needless penalties that Kuni converted in the second half after missing his first.

Shortly before the break Sean O'Reilly dropped a goal, though he did so with a 4-2 overlap to his right. As proved with Irish in the QPL, he had some inventive touches but his routine distribution, and too often Bernie Franks - whose own handling has not always been top notch - was taking the ball a yard behind him. His partner, Tommy Donegan, was in control, however, and had a fantastic game, hitting his passes, chipping to the corner, and almost skirting through for a solo try, held up by the quick thinking of Yamato.

Coming into the break both sides favoured quick ball around the ruck, and both looseheads went over: first Kastner, a surprise selection from the non-QPL Zzubs, and then Waka Tarasihiko, at a positively youthful 31. Gerhard and Kuni traded conversions for an evenly matched 23-13. In the second half, however, age began to tell, and Franks, Gerhard and Daecher proved ferocious in the tackle, with Rene Friedman scrapped around to win huge yards from the breakdown. Dean Olafson almost charged through, then Daecher was pushed out at the cornerflag, but finally the Tourseilles captain Thibaut Cliché barged in for a try from a lineout won against the throw by the impressive Mensen.

Gerhard banged over another penalty, and then replacement prop Stephan Kirsch ran onto a Franks grubber that 41-year old Kashikiyahime failed to grab hold of. For once Gerhard missed the conversion. Daecher, the new fullback, proceeded to lead some rather aimless kicking, punting too deep for the forwards and failing to find touch, only to receive similar responses from Unreal229. He had a good game under the high ball, though, and spared no quarter in the tackle. Inspirational Irish second row Danny Mensen than scored from a clever quick penalty by Donegan, who spiralled a kick to the corner for Mensen to pick up and touch down. Another difficult conversion went wide.

In the closing minutes, the pressure told, and the Unreal229 ruck began to yield badly. Overlaps mounted, and wingers Willy Zimmerman and George Hall nipped over, this time Gerhard finding the touchline conversions with ease. The 44-point margin of victory wasn't a reasonable reflection of the enterprising rugby on display, but the All Greys could take a great deal of satisfaction from what is only their second victory in Test history.

Quintessence of Dust 57 (23): Daecher [B. Zimmerman]; Diller [W. Zimmerman], Franks, Gerhard, Hall; Reilly, Donegan; Kastner [Parker], Cliché [Carter], Pullman (c) [Kirsch], Mensen, Guo [Chouinard], Friedman [Gray], Olafson, Adams.

Tries: Gerhard, Kastner, Cliché, Kirsch, Mensen, W. Zimmerman, Hall
Conversions: Gerhard (5/7)
Penalties: Gerhard (3/3)
Drop-goals: O'Reilly

Unreal229 13 (13): Kashikiyahime; Kanahi, Oshitate, N. no Mikoto, Yamato; Kuni, A. no Mikoto; W. Tarasihiko, Nakatsuhiko, O.Y. Tarasihiko (c), Hito, Iwarebiko, wa Wake, no Sukune, Kaesine.

Tries: W. Tarasihiko
Conversions: Kuni
Penalties: Kuni (2/3)

Matchday One Results

Central Group

Candelaria And Marquez 32 - 26 Quintessence of Dust
Lovisa 32 - 35 Krytenia GP W D L PF PA PD BP Pts
CAM 1 1 0 0 32 26 +6 0 4
KRY 1 1 0 0 35 32 +3 0 4
LOV 1 0 0 1 32 35 -3 1 1
QOD 1 0 0 1 26 32 -6 1 1
UNR 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0Northern Group

Sorthern Northland 5 - 17 Norwellia
West Zirconia 28 - 14 Milchama GP W D L PF PA PD BP Pts
WZI 1 1 0 0 28 14 +14 0 4
NOR 1 1 0 0 17 5 +12 0 4
BYE 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
SNO 1 0 0 1 5 17 -12 0 0
MIL 1 0 0 1 14 28 -14 0 0Western Group

Kelssek 39 - 29 Socialism and Football
Taeshan 7 - 22 Peisandros GP W D L PF PA PD BP Pts
PEI 1 1 0 0 22 7 +15 0 4
KEL 1 1 0 0 39 29 +10 0 4
SOM 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
SOC 1 0 0 1 29 39 -10 0 0
TAE 1 0 0 1 7 22 -15 0 0As a reminder: Tables are sorted by points difference, 1 bonus point is earned for losing by 7 or fewer points.

Qasarian Evening Sport

Eagles lose friendly, but hope exists

It was an awkward game for Somewhereistonia, the void between Karrakiv and Kabano players showed cleary giving a tense feel between the players, which Norwellia were able to take full advantage of. Despite being strong in the scrum and maul, the passing was atrocious, mainly because the Kabano and Karrakiv players all refused to pass to each other. This allowed Norwellia to gain possession easily, with Vala picking up a loose ball and running clear for an early try on 25'.

On 32' Kastoriádīs picked up a loose pass and took the ball forward before setting Généreux loose to score the second try. Kastoriádīs then converted to give Norwellia a surprising 12-0 lead. On 39' disaster struck again, with Eqpósito picking up yet another loose ball and after a good run from halfway to score again. Kastoriádīs then hit it between the posts again to set up a worrying 19-0 lead before the half ended.

Some strong words were almost certainly used at half-time as the Eagles came out by far the better team, easily cutting out the Rainbow Warriors attacks and dominating territory. Unforunately, the attacks were held back by Norwellia very well, the stern defence will surely give them a boost in this tournament.

The only second half try came in the 60th minute from Eagles winger Dārziņš who danced around the Norwellian backline to put the ball down in the corner, a fantastic try, with Somewhereistonia finally showing the attacking skill the country expects to see. Čakste missed the difficult conversion, but was able to get a drop goal in the 63rd minute to give the Eagles an outside chance. A penalty on the 22 in the 70th minute; after a rare Norwellian attack gave them an easy three points to pull away from danger. Another penalty in the 78th settled the result for Norwellia, whilst a brilliant last minute drop goal from Čakste gave signs of things to come in what would surely be an eventful tournament.

Final score: Norwellia 25-11 Somewhereistonia

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/media/themercury.png

Canvey defends O'Bryden

Kelssek's rugby head coach Gordon Canvey has defended Sean O'Bryden's performance in the opening match of the Rugby World Cup, which Kelssek won 39-29 over Socialism and Football.

O'Bryden was widely blamed by pundits for bad kicking and numerous handling errors, including an intercepted pass which was directly responsible for an opposing try, leading one pundit to proclaim him to be "playing like a constipated penguin".

His inclusion in the squad in the first place had also been controversial because it denied a spot to Matthew Thomas, who is widely acknowledged as a better scrum half by all except racist faggot bastards (no offence to homosexuals, illegitimate children, or homosexual illegitimate children intended).

Canvey defended his performance today, however, noting his versatility and citing nerves and threats by gangsters to break his legs for his lack of performance.

"O'Bryden is a valuable member of the squad. He can play scrum half, number 8, left wing, openside flanker, inside centre, blindside a bit to the right, goaltender, linebacker, and cook an excellent risotto."

"He also didn't play that badly. There was one kick for touch which he didn't scuff too awfully. Also, the handling errors meant that our scrum got to have some excellent practice at working together."

The New Cleethorpes Enquirer
All Greys stumble on close fought first day

An unusually bright spring day saw at the National Stadium of Sports saw a gruelling encounter between former RWC champions Candelaria And Marquez and hosts Quintessence of Dust. Between them, kickers Zambrana Andries and Bill Gerhard converted twelve penalties as both packs withered under the stern glare of referee Trygve Stereøtype. Four players were sin-binned, and the NSRB is to review footage to determine whether Tourseilles captain Thibaut Cliché will be disciplined for a possible stamp on Ilica Lilic. New coach Wolfgang Andrews was unapologetic after the game: "I won't tolerate ill-discipline, but against tough opposition it was necessary to get physical," he said while holding Shane Mitchell in a chokehold.

The All Greys actually led a low-scoring first-half as both sides swapped unconverted tries to break the tension about a jittery opening twenty minutes. Both Reilly and Andries had mixed beginnings, Andries spilling the ball in a sweeping move that had 3 on 2 from ten yards out, then Reilly kicking straight to touch from outside the 22. It was scrum-half Florian Zurbrugg who went over first, as Ed Usta led a catch-and-drive from the lineout, Oberon Elliot driving close, and then Zurbrugg able to dart in past a sleepy Jim Adams.

The Quodite response was quick in coming, and was again a well-worked forward effort: Cliché took a quick penalty, but his strong garlic odour gave him away; he still had time for a quick offload in the tackle to Adams, who took out Lilic and fed Ron Diller, the QPL's leading try scorer, to smash in at the corner. Both difficult conversions spiralled wide, but just before the whistle Matthew Masters broke into space; tackled by captain Barry Pullman, he was unable to offload and the penalty was given as he held on on the ground. Gerhard was on target this time.

He was on target again and again after the break, eventually notching up seven penalties to Andries's five. Quintessence of Dust, though four pounds lighter at the scrum, probably had the better day among the forwards, and Danny Mensen persistently disrupted Candelalalian lineout ball. But in defence the favourites were stronger, and their young midfield pairing solidly rebuffed the All Grey advances, much like a woman telling you she'd like just to be friends. Jacob Thompson dump-tackled Bernard Franks in spectacular style, from which he never really recovered. Franks's evolution as a player has been remarkable to watch during the QPL, but last night his performance was flat, and we never got to see the good stuff - much like a woman telling you she'd like just to be friends.

While Gerhard's kicking kept the All Greys in front, Andries made the difference in open play. After failing to find touch from a penalty clearance and having a drop-goal attempt charged down by Rene Friedman, he regrouped and led a series of flowing back moves. Juan Pablo O'Donovan couldn't quite finish off the last of these, held up three yards short by Tommy Donegan, but the 18-year old debutant David Pfeifenberger was on hand to clear out and feed Andries for a walk-in try. Another two penalties for Gerhard restored a slender lead, but finally the pressure told: Adams, so impressive during the QPL, made a bad error to allow Lilic to make ground down the blind channel, and prop Thomas Patterson was on hand to seal the win.

Afterwards, Pullman was philosophical. "If a tree in a wood falls and no one hears it, is euthanasia ethical?" Mensen expressed frustration with the adjudication, saying that it was fair but inconsistent. "Neither team got an advantage, but as a forward it was difficult to tell what you were going to pulled up for." The All Greys remain at the NSS to play Lovisa, the highest seed in the group. Andrews also expressed admiration for Gerhard, whose last-minute penalty saved a bonus point for Quintessence of Dust.

The Loviki were upset by returning Krytenia in another close game in Somewhereistonia, while there were more suprise results in the other groups: West Zirconia defeated RWC stalwarts Milchama, newcomers Norwellia upstaged former runners-up Sorthern Northland, and Peisandros comfortably beat Taeshan. Even Kelssek were held to just 10 points against Socialism and Football, the renegade micronation competing in their first international event.

The QRUB expressed satisfaction with the opening day, noting high ticket sales, extensive advertising revenue, and a welcome degree of international media coverage, with journalists from around the world applying for credentials. Oh, and some good rugby. They also responded to comments from PARR chair Peteris Zion about the ELVs: "We emphasise that these variations are experimental, not permanent. However, we have no intention of discontinuing them for the duration of the group stages, and hope all teams will adapt." They also noted that the QPL did not use ELVs this season, putting the host nation at no advantage.

Candelaria And Marquez 32 (5): Myong-Patrick; O'Donovan, Thompson, Pfeifenberger, Lilic; Andries, Zurbrugg; Elliot, Gajarsky, Patterson, McGowen, Usta, Masters, Swan, Doyle.

Tries: Zurbrugg, Andries, Patterson
Conversions: Andries 1/3
Penalties: Andries 5

Quintessence of Dust 26 (8): Daecher; Diller, Gerhard, Franks [Durand], Hall; Reilly, Donegan; Kastner [Parker], Cliché [Carter], Pullman (c), Mensen [Pinneau], Guo [Chouinard], Friedman [Karlsen], Olafson [Gray], Adams.

Tries: Diller
Conversions: (Gerhard 0/1)
Penalties: Gerhard 7

Immigrants off to 'flying' start.

Did you get the pun? It's a team of immigrants and they all 'flew' in to the country hahahahah. Now they're off to a 'flyer', hahahahah.

Ahem. So yes, the immigrants have won their first game of this the Twelfth Rugby World Cup, played against Taeshan in Western Quintessence of Dust at The Goldfish Bowl. The final score was a reasonably comprehensive 22-7, with the Sandrians letting in a late try to a winger whose name we just don't know, maybe because he never was.. Huh?! The try was converted by a kicker whom we suspect died after the game, as there is no record he existed either, but he must have... Anyway, he's dead now.

The scoring started in the 21st minute for the Sandrians through a Conrad Tool penalty which was awarded for continued infringement at the ruck. The referee had awarded several short arm penalties prior, and skipper Matty Rage had no hesitation in pointing to the sticks. The rest of the game was plain sailing for the Sandrians. Two tries before the half to Tool and winger Zach Julo, both converted by Tool, had them 17-0 going in to oranges.

It was a controlling first half which had Rage in great kicking form, pushing the Taeshani players (or ghosts) back and dominating territory. The second half was a bland affair with mistakes gradually taking control of play. However they were able to score a third try, with big number eight Sammy Stafford crashing over for a well deserved five pointer. Tool missed the conversion and left the score at 22-0 with 15 to go. Taeshan managed the aforementioned one converted try in the 76th minute.

Peisandros 22:
Tries: Tool, Rage, Stafford.
Conversions: Tool 2/3.
Penalties: Tool 1/2.

Taeshan 7:
Tries: Non-existent player.
Conversions: Dead man 1/1.
Penalties: Dead man 0/1, Ghost 0/1.

Next up is Kelssek, the hardest opponent the Sandrians will face. A loss here is acceptable, but a bonus point would be marvelous for the flying immigrants, heheheh. Until next time!

Matchday Two Results

Central Group

Lovisa 31 - 47 Quintessence of Dust
Krytenia 10 - 11 Unreal229 GP W D L PF PA PD BP Pts
QOD 2 1 0 1 73 63 +10 1 5
KRY 2 1 0 1 45 43 +2 1 5
CAM 1 1 0 0 32 26 +6 0 4
UNR 1 1 0 0 11 10 +1 0 4
LOV 2 0 0 2 63 82 -19 1 1Northern Group

Sorthern Northland 20 - 0 Milchama
Norwellia 98 - 0 The Bye GP W D L PF PA PD BP Pts
NOR 2 2 0 0 115 5 +110 0 8
WZI 1 1 0 0 28 14 +14 0 4
SNO 2 1 0 1 25 17 +8 0 4
MIL 2 0 0 2 14 48 -34 0 0
BYE 1 0 0 1 0 98 -98 0 0Western Group

Kelssek 12 - 11 Peisandros
Socialism and Football 17 - 22 Somewhereistonia GP W D L PF PA PD BP Pts
KEL 2 2 0 0 51 40 +11 0 8
PEI 2 1 0 1 33 19 +14 1 5
SOM 1 1 0 0 22 17 +5 0 4
SOC 2 0 0 2 46 61 -15 1 1
TAE 1 0 0 1 7 22 -15 0 0As a reminder: Tables are sorted by points difference, 1 bonus point is earned for losing by 7 or fewer points.

Dear, dear gods, 2-0 with a +110 points differential? What awesome power could have made it so?

Qasarian Evening Sport

Narrow victory for nervy Eagles

The Eagles got a win in their first game in the Rugby World Cup last night, but only due to a lst minute try by Dārziņš as they overcame Socialism and Football with an unconvincing 22-17.

The Eagles again started poorly, with the split in the team still evident, if only slightly better than the friendly loss to Norwellia. The ball was given away in the 8th minute from yet another poor pass, allowing Daniel Riley to score easily between the posts. Yates converted to make it 7-0. Yates soon had a penalty on the 22 to make it 10-0.

Čakste soon got 3 points back as he converted a long penalty to make it 10-3, but minutes later, in the 30th, Socialism and Football picked up another loose ball with Murray running through to score. A dreadful first half for the Eagles ending 17-3, the rift in the team was causing major problems on the pitch. In an attempt to sort this out, the manager took Balodis and Leedskalnin off for Sveshnikov and Ligi, both of whom were outside the big rivalry.

The second half was much better, with those who stayed on the pitch getting the message well. In the 44th minute the Eagles passing worked out superbly, with substitute Ligi bursting through the defence before popping the ball back to Chanchenko to power over the line. Čakste converted to make it 17-10. The Eagles now were in with a chance.

A massive cheer went up from the Eagle's fans in the 60th when Kūla was able to run onto a long Čakste kick before finishing beautifully, this is after hand-off to push Lewis out of his way. The try was converted leaving the game at 17-17.

The game continued at 17-17 for a while, with numerous kicks going close to getting a huge 3 points. Johnson hit the far post with a drop-goal attempt in the 77th minute causing gasps and excitement around the stadium.

The result came in the 80th minute, with Dārziņš taking the ball from his own 22 before making an incredible mazy run, somehow bursting through the Socialism and Football defence to put it down in the corner 22-17. Čakste's missed conversion attempt proved the last action of the game, as Somewhereistonia gained a deserved but nervy victory, putting them in good stead to qualify for the next round.

Matchday Three Results

Central Group

Candelaria And Marquez 28 - 3 Unreal229
Quintessence of Dust 34 - 23 Krytenia GP W D L PF PA PD BP Pts
QOD 3 2 0 1 107 86 +21 1 9
CAM 2 2 0 0 60 29 +31 0 8
KRY 3 1 0 2 68 77 -9 1 5
UNR 2 1 0 1 14 38 -24 0 4
LOV 2 0 0 2 63 82 -19 1 1Northern Group

West Zirconia 3 - 0 The Bye
Milchama 10 - 19 Norwellia GP W D L PF PA PD BP Pts
NOR 3 3 0 0 134 15 +119 0 12
WZI 2 2 0 0 31 14 +17 0 8
SNO 2 1 0 1 25 17 +8 0 4
BYE 2 0 0 2 0 101 -101 1 1
MIL 3 0 0 3 24 67 -43 0 0Milchama cannot finish higher than 4th as Sorthern Northland and The Bye play on Matchday 4.

Western Group

Taeshan 8 - 3 Somewhereistonia
Peisandros 60 - 0 Socialism and Football GP W D L PF PA PD BP Pts
PEI 3 2 0 1 93 19 +74 1 9
KEL 2 2 0 0 51 40 +11 0 8
SOM 2 1 0 1 25 25 0 1 5
TAE 2 1 0 1 15 25 -10 0 4
SOC 3 0 0 3 46 121 -75 1 1As a reminder: Tables are sorted by points difference, 1 bonus point is earned for losing by 7 or fewer points. Please keep OOC comments to the OOC thread.

Qasarian Evening Sport

Eagles Unlucky against world No. 3

A valiant effort from a now united looking Eagles wasn't enough to overcome Taeshan, who went into this tournament ranked third in the world. A low scoring 8-3 game at least won Somewhereistonia a well deserved point as they threatened Taeshan for most of the game. Sveshnikov and Ligi were both started as the manager looked to keep the rivalry out of this important match.

The Eagles started well, with Dārziņš having a try ruled out after stepping off the pitch. Taeshan responded with a try of their own after 23 minutes when [aplayer] kicked downfield and the bounce fell kindly for [anotherplayer] to take over for 5 points. Čakste scored a great drop-goal in the 37th minute to put the Eagles within touching distance of the favourites. The second half started slowly, with both teams kicking long balls and getting nowhere, but on the 56th minute Taeshan won a penalty which [aplayer] converted, giving an unconvincing 8-3 lead.

The score didn't change again for the remainder of the match although there was still excitement to come. Dārziņš had another try disallowed on the 70th minute as it was apparently held up from the ground. Replays show that the ball did touch down, and this caused some anger amongst the Somewhereistonia players, with Dārziņš earning himself an unhelpful yellow card, making him miss the crucial last 10 minutes.

Throughout the rest of the match the Eagles were close to getting that try, with Taeshan defending desperately but brilliantly on the 5-yard line. The sin-binning of Dārziņš quite possibly cost the Eagles the game, with Taeshan using the extra man well to hold the line.

In the end a disappointing result to a valiant performance by the Eagles who can go into the next game with their heads high, knowing that concentration is needed if they are to get to the next stage.

Halfway through the group stage, and West Zirconia are undefeated. Not top of the table, however, but that could be something to do with Norwellia having played an extra game. Still, it augurs well for West Zirconia's continued presence in this competition. In addition, the publication of 'rolling rankings', ranking them fifth in the world, serves to boost the confidence of this promising side.

First up were Milchama, who subsequently had the dubious honour of being the first (and up to now only) team to be eliminated. The match report was not forthcoming, as the Milchama team sheet was eaten by Smudge, the cat resident at the WZRU's Edge Hill headquarters.

The Bye were the next opponents. Although it was said that they were here to make up the numbers, their style of play proved otherwise. After the relatively free-flowing 28-14 win over Milchama, the West Zirconians were stifled by the Bye approach, and it was looking like ending completely scoreless. The deadlock was broken just two minutes from the end, when an increasingly frustrated Gavin Duffy kicked a drop-goal from just inside the 22-yard line.

So, with a points difference dented by the Bye result, West Zirconia remain second, behind astounding newcomers Norwellia. These two meet next, in what promises to be an interesting match. Especially if Smudge catches sight of that flag...

The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport>Rugby Union>RWC12>In Brief

Smotherings overshadow comfortable second win ~ Nic Scotland in Highmark City The Candelarias Rugby Union Union has requested a one minute’s silence prior to the fixture between C&M and Krytenia next week after two Candelariasian supporters were accidentally asphyxiated during this afternoon’s clash at the National Stadium of Sports.

Huge Blues captain Joshua McGowen, speaking on behalf of the team, told TV1 that the squad were ‘massively shaken’ to hear of the deaths of travelling fans Ben Hill and Dónall Kinnane, in a freak suffocation event early in the match. “We all know that, when going to strange and unpredictable foreign climes, you do rather take your life in your hands sometimes, especially when sitting with a whole bunch of opposition supporters,” McGowen admitted, “But I don’t think anyone can anticipate being smothered by a fucking great flag. I can’t honestly think of a worse way to go. Well. I guess if I had half an hour I could probably… Maybe being eaten by spiders an’ that? Or drowing in your own effluence? Or someone else’s, would that be worse, d’you think? Or being beaten to death by your own leg, obviously that’s always a classic. But then, something like falling down a bottomless pit as well, I mean you’d have time to think about it, but not the capabilities to make arrangements for your will and that. Unless you could get a mobile phone signal, I guess. Sean? Sean! D’you reckon you’d be able to get a mobile phone signal on the way down a bottomless pit? Yeah, yeah… But I s’pose as well, if it was bluetooth enabled, then… Um, anyway, we’re all totally cut up about it, and God knows we’re going t’win this World Cup for Bill and Donald! Yeah!”

Many other supporters escaped with light injuries, but were keen to publicly berate their Unrealian peers for bringing along such insanely large replica flags. Others however cited the Candelariasian supporters’ lack of experience in coexisting with their opposite numbers, with fans at CRUC matches typically kept apart.

As for the game itself, it proved a relatively simple procession for the RWC10 champions, with David Pfeifenberger opening his international account after barely a minute following a spell of superb passing between he, Juan Pablo O’Donovan and fellow newcomer Ryoo Myong-Patrick. The Albrecht-born Northlandish Asian was arguably Shane Mitchell’s most unlikely pick, despite his positive form for the struggling Zpinh, but Ryoo had clearly grown in confidence since his awkward baptism against the hosts.

A simple Florian Zurbrugg finish from a Zambrana Andries grubber, with Andries easily making his second conversion of the night, allowed the Huge Blues to roar into a 14-0 lead from which New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New New Unreal never looked likely to recover.

Mitchell may be concerned that, despite a fine defensive display throughout the second period, the conservative substituon of James Torrens for Andries led to a complete stifling of the C&M attack and offered the Unrealians renewed hope. The Huge Blues’ form from set pieces also remains a key issue, with line-outs once again proving a real problem. Notably, and despite the CRUU’s insistence that there’s no such thing as ELVs, the experienced opposition made good use of the new rules on relative distances, with the Candelariasians repeatedly penalised for not having a bloody clue what the hell was going on.

Torrens was however able put away a trio of late penalties to make life more comfortable for the Group A favourites and leave C&M undefeated – though hardly impressing in the style of the reigning champions or newcomers Norwellia, whose record score in living memory against Theby has blown the contest wide open in the view of most experts.

Candelaria And Marquez 23
Tries: Pfeifenberger 1, Zurbrugg 15
Conversions: Andries (2)
Penalties: Torrens (3)

Unreal 3
Penalties: Kuni (1)

Matchday Four Results

Central Group

Lovisa 42 - 9 Unreal229
Candelaria And Marquez 20 - 3 Krytenia GP W D L PF PA PD BP Pts
CAM 3 3 0 0 80 32 +48 0 12
QOD 3 2 0 1 107 86 +21 1 9
LOV 3 1 0 2 105 91 +14 1 5
KRY 4 1 0 3 71 97 -26 1 5
UNR 3 1 0 2 23 80 -57 0 4Candelaria And Marquez cannot finish lower than second and thus have automatically qualified. Every other team in the group can finish at least third.

Northern Group

Sorthern Northland 6 - 0 The Bye
West Zirconia 56 - 0 Norwellia GP W D L PF PA PD BP Pts
WZI 3 3 0 0 87 14 +73 0 12
NOR 4 3 0 1 134 71 +63 0 12
SNO 3 2 0 1 31 17 +14 0 8
BYE 3 0 0 3 0 107 -107 2 2
MIL 3 0 0 3 24 67 -43 0 0The Bye and Milchama cannot finish higher than fourth. To avoid repechage, Sorthern Northland need to beat West Zirconia by 30 points. Norwellia can finish no lower than second.

Western Group

Kelssek 28 - 45 Somewhereistonia
Taeshan 22 - 53 Socialism and Football GP W D L PF PA PD BP Pts
PEI 3 2 0 1 93 19 +74 1 9
SOM 3 2 0 1 70 53 +17 1 9
KEL 3 2 0 1 79 85 -6 0 8
SOC 4 1 0 3 99 143 -44 1 5
TAE 3 1 0 2 37 78 -41 0 4Socialism and Football cannot finish higher than fourth. Taeshan can finish third if they beat Kelssek by 18 points. To avoid repechage, Kelssek need to win if the top two draw; if they draw and the loser of the top two gains a bonus point, or they lose and gain a bonus point and the loser of the top two doesn't, it will come down to points difference.

As a reminder: Tables are sorted by points difference, 1 bonus point is earned for losing by 7 or fewer points.

The New Cleethorpes Enquirer
While statisticians scramble, Andrews concentrates on game

National rugby coach Wolfgang Andrews spent Quintessence of Dust's bye day fending off media enquiries about possible permutations of the final group stage matches in Rugby World Cup XXII, saying he was "unconcerned with the mathematics" and had instructed his players to concentrate on the game against Unreal229, who the All Greys defeated in a pre-tournament friendly. Group A remains the most open of the groups, although leaders Candelaria And Marquez sewed up automatic qualification for the quarter-finals with a 20-3 over Krytenia.

The All Greys have rallied from their narrow defeat to the Candelalalian team, first beating Lovisa in an upset victory against the former semi-finalists ranked #4 in the world prior to competition, and then winning a key game against Krytenia to guarantee safety from elimination. However, they could still miss out on the quarter-finals if they lose and Lovisa win, and they then fail to progress from repechage. Similar calculations are being conducted in other groups, where some eliminations have already been confirmed - such as fellow world no. 17s Milchama, and newcomers Socialism and Football, prompting a sit-down protest by travelling fans prior to their match, opposing the "capitalistic tyranny of international rugby". Secretary of State George W. Madison dismissed the action as a "regrettable blip".

QRUB officials have continued to express pleasure at the conduct of the tournament, but registered shock and sadness at the death of two fans at the Candelaria Marquez and Unreal229 game. QRUB chair Martin Rankin was criticised on the sports blog He's Had An Absolute Holocaust, however, for spending almost three times as much time at his press conference trying to explain the various ELVs being trialled at the World Cup than he did memorialising the fans, who suffocated on the overly large flag Unrealian fans had brought along.

Despite winning their last two games, the All Greys have now conceded 86 points, and their defence, normally highly regarded, is coming under scrutiny. Ron Diller, the leading try scorer in the QPL and now for the national team after 2 against Lovisa, and Sean Reilly, the stand-off whose form has varied as sharply as his breathalyser test results, have particularly come under attack for weak tackling and insufficient defensive commitment. The style of play, particularly against Krytenian, has been dismissed by some as "boring", being excessively dependent on rolling mauls and kicking from midfield.

Quintessence of Dust were surprise winners against the Loviki after a bruising first half in which the hosts exploded out of the blocks with four tries. After nine minutes of tense play at the breakdown, the All Greys finally won a kickable penalty - but Tommy Donegan took it quickly and charged into space, eventually unleashing an ambitious grubber that Diller just managed to reach (although replays were unclear on whether he had control of the ball in the touchdown). Shortly thereafter, Michael Daecher scored his debut international try, finishing off a string of strong passing moves after a kicking error gave the All Greys an attacking lineout. Reilly added a solo chip-n-charge effort, and then Diller scored his second, burning up the grass to sprint in from 30 yards out after another quick penalty from Donegan. Bill Gerhard struck four out of four conversions. Lovisa managed to get back into the game, but Quintessence of Dust came up with three more scores to keep their lead intact - new lock Guo Shao, replacement Bobby Zimmerman, and captain Barry Pullman all crossed the line, with Gerhard missing only the final kick.

Against Krytenia the forwards were plagued by tough refereeing that saw four players sin-binned, and the final scrums of the match uncontested as the Quodites, having used up all their specialist front row reserves, had Central hooker Joe Carter sent off for gouging. (I love a sport where that's a thing.) Still, they managed a reasonably confident win, with tries from Gerhard, fellow centre Bernard Franks, and blindside Jim Adams. Gerhard kicked two conversions and three penalties, and Tourseilles centre Ignace Durand, replacing him after 68 minutes, kicked a long penalty from 57 yards. Donegan added a cheeky drop-goal near the end after another superb performance from the Irish scrum-half.

RWC XII points tally:

Tries: Diller (3), Adams, Daecher, Franks, Gerhard, Pullman, Reilly, Shao, B. Zimmerman
Conversions: Gerhard 8/10, Durand 0/1
Penalties: Gerhard 10/10, Durand 1/2
Drop goals: Donegan 1
Points: Gerhard 51

Looks like Smudge found that flag...

Congratulations West Zirconia on being the first team ever to beat the Rainbow Warriors in rugby union, and in convincing fashion at that.

Qasarian Evening Sport

Eagles triumph against world No.1

A brilliant game and a fabulous result for the Eagles as they sit on the edge of qualifying, with only group leaders Peisandros to play, the Eagles are now looking a lot more confident. The 10 try triller was surely the most exiting game of the tournament, with both teams going all out for the important win.

It was the world champions who took the lead with a try in the 11th minute by Duclos, making the most of a gap in the Eagles defence, with the try converted the Eagles looked on the back foot, but they didn't see it that way. In the 15th minute the next try came, this time it was an amazing (and quite typical) mazy run from Dārziņš that won the five points when he powered over into the corner. It wasn't converted leaving the Eagles trailing the champions by just 2 points. It wasn't long before the Eagles took the lead, fast running and slick passing producing a marvellous try from Tashrubin, this time Čakste found the target, leaving the Eagles 5 ahead. A penalty five minutes later gave them an even bigger lead as the team grew in confidence.

Soon this was shattered as Navanich scored a try against the run of play in the 19th minute, after being the first to an awkward long kick downfield. Danforth converted, leaving the Eagles with the slenderest lead of only 1 point. This soon grew again as Dārziņš got his second of the night after bursting through the defence to score, again it wasn't converted, as the match pressure was clearly affecting Čakste's kicking. The score stood at 20-14 in the 30th minute, the Eagles held the lead and deservedly.

Kelssek soon retook the lead with McLachlan scoring in the 33rd minute to take them within a point of the Eagles, before Danforth converted to give Kelssek the slender lead. The Eagles fought back with Kūla managing to score in the 39th minute after Somewhereistonia won a line-out, Čakste managing to convert this time, to give the Eagles a 27-21 lead. At this point there was no telling which way the match would go, both teams showing impressive attacking strength, with only hints of unstable defenses going into half time.

The Eagles came out the second half even stronger than in the first, boosted by going in leading the world champions. This showed when Dārziņš scored his third try of the evening, and for the third time it wasn't converted, this didn't seem to matter, as the Eagles held an incredible 32-21 lead in the 44th minute. Čakste soon made up for his errors when he scored an unexpected drop goal to put the Eagles firming in the lead.

A chance for yet another comeback seemed like it could be on the cards when Pyatt picked up a now rare loose ball and ran home in the 47th minute. With the try yet again converted Kelssek were showing their quality but still lagged behind 35-28.

Despite numerous chances, the game strangely didn't have any more points scored until the 73rd minute, when Čakste scored a penalty to give Somewhereistonia a 38-28 lead, and the Eagles now seemed sure to get a famous victory. The final blow came in the 88th minute when Yakov Ozoliņš picked up a great pass and sprinted to the line, scoring yet another try, Čakste converted to give the final score 45-28.

A massive win for the Eagles and at a crucial time for the end of the group. They will now be hoping to take all the points against Peisandros in the next match as they aim to out-do their compatriots who won the Baptism of Fire.

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/media/kirkenescourier-new.png

O'Bryden benched for Taeshan match

JIM HNIDY
COURIER SPORTS

Many fans of the national rugby team will breathe a sigh of relief at the announcement that Sean O'Bryden will be relegated to the replacements' bench following the shocking 45-28 loss to Somewhereistonia.

With a strong win against Taeshan critical to secure passage to the next round as well as to gain some momentum and settle down a shaky team which has not been playing like defending champions, Gordon Canvey is taking no chances and will send the Redswyth Rebels's Alain Lafleur onto the field as a starter instead.

"It is not a detrimental assessment of O'Bryden's abilities. I think Lafleur simply will provide more flair and spark for this important game," said Canvey.

Although O'Bryden is coming off strong club performances in the Superleague, his play has come under harsh criticism, especially after the Socialism and Football match, and while he did not commit any major errors against Somewhereistonia, Canvey is likely seeking to avoid any questions being asked over selection if the Taeshan match isn't favourable.

Kelssek will have to be cautious against Taeshan; whose two defeats of the Blueleaves on home ground in the 10th World Cup are still remembered with great gnashing of teeth.

Kelssek were extremely lacklustre in the match against Somewhereistonia, essentially falling apart towards the end as Somewhereistonia ran riot. The result was partially blamed on many of the squad suffering from food poisoning, reportedly as a result of eating contaminated risotto.

Matchday Five Results

Central Group

Lovisa 20 - 31 Candelaria And Marquez
Quintessence of Dust 62 - 0 Unreal229 GP W D L PF PA PD BP Pts
CAM 4 4 0 0 111 52 +59 0 16
QOD 4 3 0 1 169 86 +83 1 13
LOV 4 1 0 3 125 122 +3 1 5
KRY 4 1 0 3 71 97 -26 1 5
UNR 4 1 0 3 23 142 -119 0 4Northern Group

Sorthern Northland 27 - 32 West Zirconia
Milchama 11 - 16 The Bye GP W D L PF PA PD BP Pts
WZI 4 4 0 0 119 41 +78 0 16
NOR 4 3 0 1 134 71 +63 0 12
SNO 4 2 0 2 58 49 +9 1 9
BYE 4 1 0 3 16 118 -102 2 6
MIL 4 0 0 4 35 83 -48 1 1Western Group

Kelssek 59 - 0 Taeshan
Peisandros 14 - 14 Somewhereistonia GP W D L PF PA PD BP Pts
KEL 4 3 0 1 138 85 +53 0 12
PEI 4 2 1 1 107 33 +74 1 11
SOM 4 2 1 1 84 67 +17 1 11
SOC 4 1 0 3 99 143 -44 1 5
TAE 4 1 0 3 37 137 -100 0 4As a reminder: Tables are sorted by points difference, 1 bonus point is earned for losing by 7 or fewer points. Please keep OOC comments in the OOC thread.

Details of the repechage round will be posted after I've finished my cup of tea.

The final whistle sounded with the Taeshan team walking off rather shell-shocked. Kelssek had needed a big win and they had got a huge one. Into all this wandered an NSN camera crew with an attractive young presenter dragging a microphone wire behind her, which, off-camera, Lionel Beauvais managed to get tangled up in.

"Lee Navanich, congratulations on a great match, was this the boost that you guys needed?"

"Oh, yes, it was good. Very good. I think we did very well."

Sticking to the sequence her boss had told her to follow no matter what, she asked, "Do you think you did well today?"

"Yeah. I think we did very well."

"A huge win, too, how are you feeling?"

"I feel really bad, actually. The poor Taeshan guys. I mean, to be completely shut out like that, I know what it feels like, I just want to go up to them and hug them and tell them it's all right. But they all buggered off to the dressing room already. Oh shit, can I say bugger on TV? Wait, can I say sh..."

"Lee Navanich, thank you very much..."

http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/3512/logo2e1.png
NSRB Announcement

Many thanks to all involved in the 12th NationStates Rugby World Cup thus far. Congratulations to those who have qualified, and commiserations to those knocked out. The competition now takes a minor break for a repechage round to decide which two third placed teams advance to the quarter finals. The teams involved are Lovisa, Sorthern Northland, and Somewhereistonia. The top two teams will advance.

IMPORTANT NOTE ABOUT SCHEDULE: Tomorrow is a rest day for all teams. There will be no scorination on Saturday. On Sunday all three repechage games will be scorinated (for IC purposes, of course, they are assumed to have taken on separate days; or, if you particularly want you can play your first game after breakfast and last under floodlights; I leave it up to the participants).

As such, from now until the cutoff at 1200 UTC, Sunday 3rd May, there will be a double RP bonus in effect. <-- Note boldness of full-stop.

I believe this is the best way to get the competition on with (especially with WC46 approaching) without prejudicing the RP bonus of the repechage teams.

Quarter-finals begin on Monday 4th May (when it is a bank holiday in Quintessence of Dust so turnout for the games should be oh just drop it already). The draw has been based on group stage performance.

Shorthand schedule

Saturday: Rest day
Sunday: Repechage games
Monday: Quarter-finals
Tuesday: Semi-final
Wednesday: Final AND 3rd place playoff
Thursday: Fuck off out of my country

Longhand schedule (to be updated)

Repechage

Lovisa v Somewhereistonia (@ Eli F. Baker Memorial Arena)
Lovisa v Sorthern Northland (@ Sparti Arena [Somewhereistonia])
Somewhereistonia v Sorthern Northland (@ The Arena of Dreams)

Quarter-finals

1: Candelaria And Marquez v winner of repechage (@ Spektakl-3-Arena [Somewhereistonia])
2: Kelssek v Norwellia (@ Goldfish Bowl)
3: Peisandros v Quintessence of Dust (@ Holy Immaculate Stadium of Saint Grapefruit the Anomic)
4: West Zirconia v runner-up in repechage (@ Greenfields Road)

Semi-finals

A: Winner 1 v Winner 2 (@ New Cleethorpes Deathshriek Park)
B: Winner 3 v Winner 4 (@ Eli F. Baker Memorial Arena)

Final

Winner A v Winner B (@ National Stadium of Sports)

3rd Place Playoff

Loser A v Loser B (@ Snowborough Stadium)

OOC questions or corrections should be addressed in the OOC thread, or by irc or TG.

Qasarian Evening Sport

Eagles gain draw, finish third

The Eagles showed quality in their last group game with Peisandros but only came away with a draw, meaning they finish third and have to play through the repêchage round. The omens look good, as the football team also finished third in their group in the Baptism of Fire, before going on to win the competition. The team are still looking confident after their big win against Kelssek and will be hoping to pull off a similar feat, but they must first go through the repêchage round against Lovisa and Sorthern Northland.

The match against Peisandros was strongly contested, with both teams going for the win whilst also being cautious in defence. The first try went to Peisandros with Zach Julo collecting a long pass from Rage after Peisandros won the scrum. Julo then dashed forward and cut inside to escape from an Olijars tackle, before diving over the line. Rage then converted to give Peisandros a 7-0 lead in the 28th minute.

The Eagles got a try back soon afterwards, with Nikolaj Kūla*being let loose through the gap from a Alksnis pass. He had a free run to the posts and scoring, Čakste then converted to level the scores in the 37th minute. Despite Čakste nearly scoring a drop goal shortly afterwards, the scores remained the same at half-time, with both teams looking slightly annoyed at not being in front.

The second half was much the same as the first, with tight defences restricting the attacking options of the other team. Somewhereistonia took the lead in the 67th minute, after continuing to drive forwards successful to finally break down the Peisandros defence, Kaska going over to give the Eagles the lead, Čakste converted again to give the Eagles a 14-7 lead.

This lead was not enough as in the 73rd minute Ma'a Tuiloagno scored a great try after 'the immigrants'broke the Eagles stern defence. This was also converted to level the scores, to the dismay of manager Jaak Taagepera who said after the match “It was a good game, but we deserved to win, its unfortunate because now, we have to play two extra games”.

The Albrecht Herald>Sport>Rugby Union>RWC12>In Brief

Never mind the Baltics – Candelariasians face Somewhereistonia odyssey ~ By Nic Scotland in Highmark City With the international rugby community whiling away their formative years under the shade of the ol’ oak tree, making daisy chains, playing conkers, holding buttercups underneath each other’s chins, and generally defacing the local flora as part of their nascent cognitive development and the establishment of a social hierarchy that will most likely retain a major influence on the individuals’ sense of self within the context of the wider community for the rest of their lives; the Quodite administration of this summer’s tournament saw fit to hand over several key fixtures to Somewhereistonia, their defeated hosting rivals, in a gesture both of supreme magnanimousness and containing the kind of patronising tone that should help grease the wheels towards a long-standing bond of master and fawning side-kick. The circle of life spins on, we’ll all be playing ring-a-ring-o’-bloody-roses next, and the Huge Blues are once again left disadvantaged by infantile scheduling.

Those Candelariasian supporters unfamiliar with Somewhereistonia cannot be blamed for their ignorance, despite the Federation’s impressive form in international footer competitions of late. The country remains a complete unknown, sending Foreign Office folks into a scurrying tizzy as they attempt to ascertain its safety in playing host to C&M’s travelling support and playing squad alike.

World Assembly reports appear positive, but this will still be a journey into the unknown for each and every Candelariasian unwittingly exiled to the Baltics by the quarter-final draw. The Federation’s general vicinity may be vaguely known in some quarters – with a minor Yaforite colony apparently located here, along with the Chinese giants of Rugby World Cups past – and doubtless all attempts will be made to make the mass transit of travellers as fluid as possible, with half a dozen nations already having trooped back and forth between the two host countries. But don’t for a moment start to imagine that this isn’t all part of a vast conspiracy against Mitchell’s Blues, my word no. C&M’s opponents for the Qasarian encounter are as yet unknown, but there are three daunting options – Sorthern Northland, the Candelariasians’ great rugby rivals coming off the back of having played in Somewhereistonia themselves; Lovisa, having played twice within the Federation by the time the repechage comes to a close; and Somewhereistonia themselves.

While on the latter account, Mitchell could take heart from the relative newness of the Spekatkl-3-Arena – with much of his squad arguably more used to playing in the cosy surroundings of a ShinyPlaces stadium than the Somewhereistonians themselves – this would never the less be an unwelcome away fixture at this stage of the tournament. With Kelssek most likely awaiting the victors, further progression appears a difficult task in any case – but the Huge Blues’ bid would hardly be helped by such an inane ‘quirk’ of the fixture list.

On the plus side, Mitchell’s men have certain excelled themselves even in making it this far, following the disaster that was their Septentrionian effort four years ago. Adi Kinsella’s final match as C&M coach had seen the World Cup winning boss oversee a grim 42 – 7 defeat to the silent warriors of Lovisa, representing a true low in Candelariasian rugby. Yesterday however, the Huge Blues had no such troubles – the 31 – 20 scoreline flattering only to Lovisa following a mildly concerning late comeback, with C&M leading throughout. The sin-binning of Dan Swan in the second half allowed the group underdogs to push for the first time and expose clear holes that the Sortherners, most notably, could yet have a field day with, but by then it was all but over. Boding well for the future, Jacob Thompson and David Pfeifenberger were the dominant men – the former touching down early after being fed by the latter, before further fine work from the Eagles centre allowed club team-mate Ilija Lilic to score in the left-hand corner.

Juan Pablo O’Donovan would add two more tries early in the second period to complete an Eagles clean sweep marred only by the perfect kicking of the Bats’ Zambrana Andries and, though work still needs to be done on set-pieces before the quarter-final, the Blues at least have an extra few days off to prepare.

Not that that in any way justifies the NSRB’s draw, of course. Buncha kids.

Repechage Results

Lovisa 6 - 14 Somewhereistonia
Lovisa 3 - 6 Sorthern Northland
Somewhereistonia 33 - 33 Sorthern Northland GP W D L PF PA PD BP Pts
SOM 2 1 1 0 47 39 +8 0 6
SNO 2 1 1 0 39 36 +3 0 6
LOV 2 0 0 2 9 20 -11 1 1Congratulations to Somewhereistonia and Sorthern Northland on advancing. We can now confirm an updated schedule:

Quarter-finals

1: Candelaria And Marquez v Somewhereistonia (@ Spektakl-3-Arena [Somewhereistonia])
2: Kelssek v Norwellia (@ Goldfish Bowl)
3: Peisandros v Quintessence of Dust (@ Holy Immaculate Stadium of Saint Grapefruit the Anomic)
4: West Zirconia v Sorthern Northland (@ Greenfields Road)

Semi-finals

A: CAM or SOM v KEL or NOR (@ New Cleethorpes Deathshriek Park)
B: PEI or QOD v WZI or SNO (@ Eli F. Baker Memorial Arena)

Qasarian Evening Sport

Eagles win against Lovisa

The Eagles triumphed today against Lovisa, who have performed at well under par this tournament. The Eagles were unlucky to fall into the repêchage, and they proved why today, with a strong performance from start to finish, overcoming a stern Lovisa defence to score two tries.

The first half was extremely slow, with Lovisa successfully holding off the Somewhereistonian attacks, with several last ditch tackles saving them from going down. At half-time the match remained scoreless, an unfamiliar situation for the team who love to attack.

The second half started better, with Dārziņš bursting through the defence in the 43rd minute to score a fantastic try, with his momentum just carrying himself and the ball over the line. Čakste converted to give the Eagles a well deserved lead. Having finally broken Lovisa, the Eagles dominated and pushed hard, but this came to little.

The attacks slowed and Lovisa won a penalty in a rare adventure into Somewhereistonia's half in the 62nd minute. With [?] scoring, nerves began to frey, Chanchenko getting a sin-binning after a couple of high tackles. This also gave Lovisa another good chance to score with a penalty. They happily took their chance, and their 3 points, to leave the score at 7-6 to the Eagles with a man down.

The Eagles held on through a brief spell of Lovisan dominance, tackling well to hold them back until Chanchenko came back on. They now had the extra man they needed and soon forced Lovisa back onto their hind leg. Leedskalnin scored the try that secured the match in the 78th minute after the Eagles managed to pull off a well worked passing move, with players crossing three times to baffle the Lovisans. Čakste then converted to wrap up the points and a well deserved win.

The game finished 14-6 and it now looked as though the Eagles would get through this repêchage after all, they are on course to replicate the national football players, and the confidence is really beginning to show.


Draw with Sorthern's sends Eagles top

What a game again, and I don't quite know how it happened, but the Eagles got a draw out of it, but this time, it left the Eagles top on points difference. They will now play a mouthwatering match against Central Group winners Candelaria And Marquez and for the first (and only) time this competition, the Eagles will be at home, something which will surely give them a major boost.

The match with Sorthern Northland, unlike the games both sides played against Lovisa, started well with strong attacks from both sides. The Eagles scored first, with Dārziņš again the hero after skipping round two tackles before diving powerfully over the line in the 9th minute. Čakste converted before converting a try of his own in the 15th minute, after collecting his own kick downfield and carrying it over the line, it was now an impressive 14-0 to the Eagles.

This lead din't last long, with Brema finding a gap on the wing to score in the 21st minute, this was not converted but minutes later Obiefule did a very similar manouvere on the left which Neyson did convert, narrowing the lead to just 2 points in the 26th minute.

It wasn't long before Sorthern Northland scored again, and took the lead, much to the frustration of Eagles manager Taagepera. It was Hayden Wilson who scored the try, breaking through in the middle after some good teamwork from the Snorths. Neyson converted giving the opponents a 19-14 lead in the 33rd minute. A penalty minutes later made things even worse for the Eagles, who were now looking nervous, even though Lovisa's losses had guaranteed both teams survival in this competition, at least for now.

In the 38th minute the Eagles responded just as they needed, with Ozoliņš surprising the Eagles opponents after running all the way down the pitch, dummying well as he went. Čakste converted to narrow Sorthern Northland's lead to a single point, and giving the Eagles a massive boost going into half-time.

The second half did not start as well as hoped, despite the Eagles confidence, with Neyson scoring a spectacular 40 yard drop goal to earn his team a bit of rest, although they were far from safe. This was clearly demonstrated in the 50th minute, when Dārziņš yet again smashed through the defence to score, the conversion giving the Eagles a three point lead.

The lead was cancelled out in the 60th minute when Sorthern Northland were gifted a needless penalty, allowing Neyson to level the scores. Sorthern Northland again took the lead soon afterwards, with Brema getting his second of the night, being the fastest to a kick down-field, Neyson, couldn't convert, giving a tense ending to the match and rightly so, with 19 year old substitute Aasmäe slipping through a gap in the defence to score in the 76th minute. Čakste was unable to score the conversion that would have won the game, but the draw still sent Somewhereistonia to the top of the repechage group, and to a game at home with the strong performing Candelaria And Marquez. It was always going to be hard, but the Eagles will be looking to cause the biggest upset in the competition so far.

Quarter-final results

Candelaria And Marquez 36 - 15 Somewhereistonia
Kelssek 27 - 20 Norwellia
Peisandros 7 - 7 Quintessence of Dust (7 - 21 AET)
West Zirconia 32 - 10 Sorthern Northland

Semi-final schedule

Candelaria And Marquez v Kelssek (@ New Cleethorpes Deathshriek Park)
Quintessence of Dust v West Zirconia (@ Eli F. Baker Memorial Arena)

The New Cleethorpes Enquirer
All Greys advance after dramatic finish

The national rugby team reached the semi-finals of Rugby World Cup XII after an extra-time victory over long-time sporting rivals Peisandros. It is the first time a national sports team has advanced to this stage of a competition since the football World Cup 33's Baptism of Fire. That it comes on home soil will make the triumph all the sweeter, though it arrived in excruciating and controversial circumstances after 100 minutes of nervy rugby that saw neither team at their best. They now face West Zirconia, who staged the day's outstanding upset by knocking out former finalists Sorthern Northland.

Elsewhere, things went a little more predictably. Defending champions Kelssek ended newcomers Norwellia's superb early tournament form. And, in the tournament's most watched game, Candelaria And Marquez defeated Somewhereistonia in their home ground. Oddly, hundreds of Quodites made the trip abroad while turnout for the Peisandros game was below capacity. The QRUB have admitted dwindling ticket sales and declining media interest in the tournament, which has never been the largest event in the international sports calendar, but "remain optimistic", according to Chair Martin Rankin, that the final stages will generate greater enthusiasm.

The All Greys secured their quarter-final berth with a 62-0 wipeout of Unreal229, led by a dominant back row performance from Olafson, Friedman, and newcomer Jim Adams, all three of whom crossed the line. Bill Gerhard was in fine kicking form and the backs showed off both improved handling to set up George Hall, and Ron Diller for his fourth score of the tournament, as well as vastly better defence, with Franks and Daecher both inflicting some punishing tackles on the aging Unrealian back line. But with the Candelalalians also winning, they were consigned to second place, and an unappealing match-up with the Sandrians. Peisandros has thoroughly dominated Quintessence of Dust in previous sporting encounters, from easy wins in football to abject humiliation in field hockey, and with their fellow newcomers having performed far better in the previous Rugby World Cup in Septentrionia, many feared for chances of progression.

Nor did things begin well. The first half saw the sparse attendees who'd made the trip up to the Holy Immaculate Stadium rarely rise to their feet as both sides crumpled under the pressure of high expectations. Wayward kicks spiralled directly into touch, tackles were missed only for handling errors to cancel out any advantage, and Trygve Stereøtype was positively brutal in his enforcement at the scrum, at one point stopping the game for four minutes to lecture Klaus Kastner and Thomas Ferry. "I am going to stand here and wait for you to bind correctly, I don't care it takes all day," he barked, to boos from the rapidly thinning crowd. Neither side crossed the line, a single Sandrian penalty attempt fell well short, and an astonishing 18 unforced errors were counted - almost one every 2 minutes. The half finished 12 minutes over schedule and QBS producers must not have been relishing the prospect of pushing items as viewing figures sagged below mid-season ratings for Animal Chess.

In the event, they made the decision to stay with the match and push the schedule, in what will surely rank as one of the canniest decisions in recent broadcast history, as an enthralling hour of rugby unfolded. The All Greys, already looking tired, made a dire start to their second half as Reilly scooped his restart straight into touch, and from then on they were driven back - their normally faultless lineout even losing one against the throw. Four minutes in, captain Matty Rage was just held up as an unknown emerged from somewhere amid the pile of bodies at the line, but the Sandrians kept on attacking, and finally Guo Shao snapped, swinging an arm on Younis Allabakhan. He was sin-binned and Tool, bravely, opted for the corner instead of the points. From there, Mallach hit McKenneth and they opted for a straight drive, Timber Jones eventually rolling off the back to smash past Jim Adams for a tension-breaking try in the 50th minute. Tool made the difficult conversion to shouts of "Timberrrrrrrrr" from the crowd (though it later emerged they were actually dodging trees felled by a reckless forestry crew working a little close to the North Stand).

The All Greys were rapidly exhausting their substitutions, yet they still couldn't get even a chance on goal. Bill Gerhard tried an ambitious long range drop-goal but was given nothing to work with by his forwards. Karlsen replaced Adams, Chouinard came on instead of Shao returning, Bobby Zimmerman blood-subbed for George Hall and stayed on, and Ignace Durand swapped for Daecher with Gerhard switching back to fullback, but still nothing could crack Tuiloagno, Tool and Johns, who put up a superlative defensive performance even once the tide of play turned against them. The heavier Quodite pack finally got rolling but Reilly's decision making was so poor that one began to suspect Donegan's miss-passes to Franks were less tactical guile than making a point, which Wolfgang Andrews finally conceded to. As the hour mark struck, he used up two more subs to relieve his bruised front row, and four minutes later exhausted his options by bringing off Reilly, and replacing him with Jack Peters.

The Greschmeier stand-off's RWC11 performance was largely blamed for the nation's dismal early knockout. He remains the only squad member not signed to a QPL side (incoming or outcoming), instead plying his trade with the nation's most famous sports club, for whom rugby has never been a priority, and whose A side languish in the third division. "Mercurial", "temperamental", or just plain "inconsistent" are frequently epithets applied to Peters, and he had played just 28 minutes of rugby all tournament, managing a solitary drop-goal against Unreal229 with a couple of important tackles thrown in. His appearance in the number 19 jersey brought only a scant few cheers. Even these died down when Mathias Hedlund pounded through on a promising run, who found Peters - and promptly saw a grubber disappear past the dead-ball line. (Admittedly, the football field-turned-rugby pitch offers a much shorter deadball zone.)

Barry Pullman remained on the pitch and would not give up, clapping on his team at every break, lumbering from ruck to ruck like a stubborn, rather portly cockroach. One wearing rugby clothes. And um, with 2 legs. Somehow, his back-slapping and exhorting brought the team into life. Peters skimmed a drop-goal just wide of the post, and had a second charged down. Karlsen policed the ruck with a joyous authority that Stafford found perhaps less gleeful to behold as twice he ran from the back of the scrum down the blindside channel only to be soundly dumped. Joe Carter, Danny Mensen and Clovis Chouinard settled the lineout game, Ron Diller still had explosive pace in his legs, and Gerhard remained just threatening enough. And then, it all looked like coming to nought as Jones set up a maul that kept on rolling. He went for the line, with Olafson round his legs and Gerhard his shoulders, and the Sandrian fans and players went up as one.

The consultation with the video referee took four minutes as the same three angles were replayed endlessly. Was there downward motion? Was there a double movement? No one was sure what they were looking for until, finally, Stereøtype held up one arm and waved the other. Lost going forward, scum five Quintessence of Dust. Rage lived up to his name, and seemed to believe Stereøtype's decision constituted some form of sexual slur against his mother. The normally docile acceptance of referee decisions was shattered as he rapped the official on the chest, and argued his way into a sin-binning. The decision stood, the fat ho-ness of Rage's mother remained in doubt, and for ten minutes - the last ten minutes - the All Greys were granted an automatic one man overlap. They still had 95 yards of pitch to make up, though.

So began what will go down as one of the greatest drives in Quodite rugby history. Peters found a stupendously long touch; Mensen tipped the lineout to Pullman for a bullish ten yard charge, and the backpedalling Sandrians scrabbled to stop two sniping runs from the back. Finally, Donegan dummied, dashed inside the covering Tool (the Quodite fans in attendance coming up with the malicious nickname "That Tool" for him), and fed a string of backs: Gerhard charged through, found Franks in support, who hit the Tourseilles youngster Durand, who staggered within inches of the line. Allabakhan threw a valiant covering tackle, but Friedman was on hand to pick and go, practically walking over Ferry. With 72 minutes gone, it was 7-5, and Gerhard stepped up to equalise with a simple conversion. The frosty air at the Holy Immaculate Stadium grew warmer as at least twelve, perhaps as many as fifteen Quodite fans who had stayed to watch began clapping, one or two standing and waving scarves.

The eight minutes that were left were predictably dominated by a barrage of drop-goal attempts, all ambitious, none successful, while both front rows laid out silver service for each other in an effort to avoid a costly penalty. (Not literally, though with Quodites you never know.) The final whistle went seconds after Rage returned to the pitch. Results poured in from elsewhere, largely going as predicted, while the winner would face West Zirconia - but that was now 20 minutes away. QBS dropped another schedule item to cover the extra time, and both times stared in the face of a penalty shoot-out, one for which neither team looked well prepared, having accumulated nine missed attempts between them thus far.

The two ten minute halves produced gritty, if hardly fluent, rugby. If extra time is meant to produce dramatic finishes, this one succeeded, but if it is meant to produce a final flourish, this failed. The All Greys ran in two tries, one in either half, but the first proved a decidedly dogged affair, designed and executed by Donegan. The Highmark City Irish scrum-half was described as "the first name on my teamsheet" by Andrews after speculation he was to be dropped as too old, and he proved his worth as he marshalled his forwards from a lineout, going on a darting blindside run himself, then setting up Olafson, Carter, and the superb Friedman, before finally sliding in at the corner himself - only to be ruled out of touch under the new ELVs for striking the cornerflag. Peisandros still had to tackle the lineout on their 5 yard line, and opted to throw long for a runner - a play Donegan read to perfection. Rage ended up sliding into thin air as the scrum-half darted past him and span through to score. Gerhard hit the conversion and the All Greys took a full score lead.

There was yet more controversy left for Stereøtype, though, as Peisandros looked all set to bounce back with a score of their own - only to be cruelly denied by, depending on one's perspective, sharp rugby, sloppy rugby, or plain unsportsmanship. Tool found Julo with an acutely judged crossfield kick, and Julo then chipped ahead himself, taking his kick on the bounce and dodging past Diller, who was sluggish in defence in the latter stages. He grappled all the way to line with Gerhard who couldn't prevent him offloading to Groth. The prop was cleanly felled by Franks, but popped out of the tackle to pass to Cunningpork, causing a momentary lull in the chanting by embarrassed Sandrian fans. Two flankers met as Rene Friedman came in to prevent the lunge for the line. The ball bounced clear, and Franks slid back to touch down for the 22 drop out.

Cunningpork remained on the floor, howling in agony, while the Sandrians besieged Stereøtype, claiming Friedman had, according to some "illegally knocked the ball from the player's hand", according to others "illegally stamped on his arm to force a release", and according to others "just plain buggered him right up". Stereøtype remained unconvinced prompting yet another apoplexy in Rage, who was this time wisely towed to safety by McKenneth. No penalty try was awarded, and instead the Sandrians had to face another retreat. Friedman for his part showed little emotion, stating after the game "it may have been a little of everything", his sole comment on the incident, which was not referred for video refereeing. It is unlikely disciplinary action will be taken.

And so, it may have taken him 117 minutes, but at the very end, Jack Peters got the opportunity he was denied by his own sloppiness in Septentrionia. Gerhard dropped out to touch, Rage spiralled one back from the lineout, and Peters collected. He set off on a zagging run that slowly brought the crowd to their feet - they thought they saw a cute squirrel among the trees. Cunningpork unwisely led with his "buggered" arm in the tackle and was coolly dismissed with a hand-off-cum-karate-chop, Peters headed right and stamped through Julo, and then kicked ahead. McKenneth found some energy in his long legs and two raced to the line for a sliding finish. The Sandrian lock got there first, but ended up dragging the ball back over the line. Not wanting to yield a scrum he opted to rise and kick - which Peters charged down and this time got to first, just before it scrambled over the deadball line. The crowd went wild: it really WAS a squirrel, and it had babies!

Gerhard made the irrelevant conversion and the All Greys spent three secular minutes in solemn contemplation before the final whistle went to end an astonishing game in bitter disappointment for the Sandrians and pure elation for the finally victorious All Greys. It is likely that in the cold hard light of morning, the QRUB will face questions about the tournament schedule, playing conditions, organization, and financing, all of which have attracted foreign and domestic criticisms from stinging rebukes on FTV to pithy editorials as far-off as the Albrecht Herald; but for now, it seems as though everyone is content to sit back and enjoy the show.

RWC XII points tally:

Tries: Diller (4), Adams (2), Friedman (2), Daecher, Donegan, Franks, Gerhard, Hall, Olafson, Peters, Pullman, Reilly, Shao, B. Zimmerman
Conversions: Gerhard 16/18, Durand 0/1
Penalties: Gerhard 16/16, Durand 2/3
Drop goals: Donegan 1, Gerhard 1, Peters 1
Points: Gerhard 88

Semi-final results

Candelaria And Marquez 25 - 38 Kelssek
Quintessence of Dust 10 - 19 West Zirconia

Final schedule

Final: Kelssek v West Zirconia (@ National Stadium of Sports)
3rd Place Playoff: Candelaria And Marquez v Quintessence of Dust (@ Snowborough Stadium)

Gordon Canvey struggled to maintain his slightly annoyed, disapproving demeanour as his players took turns to throw themselves against large blue foam pads being held by their teammates. Inside, however, he was brimming with excitement and just wanted to giggle like a schoolgirl.

He had scarcely dared imagine, when he took the international job... four? Yes, probably four years ago, that it would lead to this, defending the World Cup title. He had been successful with Outineau, yes, but the world stage was something else altogether.

What a win against Candelaria and Marquez. It had been tight all the way, and all kinds of madness was going on, but the streakers, especially, had just added to the occasion. In the end it was Lachlan battering through the defence again and those had been the critical seven points... even O'Bryden had, given a second chance at scrum half, played well. Canvey reached into his jacket for the bottle of cough syrup and took a thoughtful sip.

The voice could be heard throughout a large part of the WZRU offices, tempered only by the faintly amusing Houghton accent, "I don't bloody believe it!"

A nearby office junior rushed to the office of WZRU chairman Clive Richards to find him in his chair, eyes fixed on a television screen.

"What's wrong, boss?"

"We're in the final - that's what's wrong!"

"Nothing wrong with that, is there?"

"Except for the fact we've been playing terribly - put no effort in at all. How we've managed to do this I'll never know."

"You can't say it's been all that bad. What about when we thumped Norwellia? 56-0 is hardly a terrible performance, is it?"

"Hmmm...not sure about that one. I was too busy trying to stop Smudge humping that flag of theirs. You know, we really ought to have him castrated."

"I don't believe you sometimes, boss. Our greatest victory ever and you're preoccupied with a randy moggy."

"Think of the offence it would have caused - hardly treating their flag with respect, is it?"

"True - see what you mean. Anyway, Kelssek in the final - how do you reckon we'll do?"

"Do you want the official answer or the real one?"

"The official one."

"We've got what it takes to get past them, though it will be a hard-fought game."

"And the real answer?"

"We're going to get totally stuffed."

"Hmmm...I'd stick with the official one if the media come calling..."

Apologies for lateness.

3rd place playoff

Candelaria And Marquez 12 - 12 Quintessence of Dust (19 - 15 AET)

Final

Kelssek 24 - 14 West Zirconia

Congratulations to Kelssek, who become the first team in NS RWC history to successfully defend their title.

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/media/etnierfp.png

Rugby World Cup trophy comes back to Kelssek

It was not the cakewalk some had been predicting but it was still an impressive performance that saw Kelssek become the first to successfully defend the Rugby World Cup title with a 24-14 victory over West Zirconia.

Of course, it is never quite rational to expect a cakewalk in the final of the Rugby World Cup, and West Zirconia put aside the string of largely mediocre performances which had led some in that country to lament that they had sleepwalked into the final, and instead came out with a strong challenge to the Blueleaves.

Nevertheless, it was Kelssek which got the first points, with West Zirconia punished for entering the ruck from the side in a very silly position. Whatever the criticisms of his performance in this tournament, Sean O'Bryden was never going to miss a penalty from 18 metres squarely in front of the posts.

It soon became 10-0 as an energised Kelssek pack piled on the pressure and a relentless pick-and-drive which began from just inside the 22 and went on for an astounding 29 phases yielded the final's first try, which O'Bryden dutifully converted.

Yet the Kelssek team nearly became the architects of their own undoing as a careless pass breaking out of the defensive 22 allowed Gavin Duffy to intercept and charge towards the try line to make it 10-7 at half time. West Zirconia captain Jamie Parker then brought the team's hopes to life as he scored a second try at the corner to give them the lead.

Sensing that they had the Blueleaves reeling, West Zirconia pushed forward for the tie, but it went wrong when a drop goal attempt was charged down. Credit to Josh Lachlan for scrambling forward to claim the ball, and to who spotted the gap in the defensive line, and sending clear Lee Navanich, who ran 44 metres to put Kelssek back in command.

From that point the result never really seemed in doubt as the air went out from West Zirconia's sails. Kelssek squandered two excellent chances to score another try, and O'Bryden sent a difficult penalty kick wide, but in the end Lionel Beauvais charging past the try line with two West Zirconians desperately clinging onto him on 73 minutes was enough to win the day, and win the title.