NationStates Jolt Archive

It is about that time of year again, for the best cyclists from around the NSUniverse to decend upon Qazox and race for 3 weeks in the most grueling cycling competition there is. A test of speed, endurance, strength and intestinal fortitude.

Please sign up below with the following provisions:

1: Maximum of Three riders per country.

2: Each rider will be graded in the following categories:
Climbing: (the higher the number, the better climber you are.)
Sprint: (the higher the number, the better in time-trials and finishes you are.)
Speed: (the higher the number, the better in the flat stages and overall time.)
Endurance: (the higher the number, the less likely to be injured or wear out on the longer stages.)

3: Each rider will have 30 points to be placed in each of the 4 main categories, with a maximum of 10 allowed in each category.

4: If you are returning any rider(s) from the most recent Tour de Qazox (TdQ7), you will be allowed to add ONE EXTRA point to any ONE CATEGORY for a maximum of 31 allocated points. Please note that I do have the Ratings from the last race, so no cheating (i.e. no 11 points for speed.) You will be allowed to re-allocate the points for your returning rider(s) as well if you wish. (ie: if riderZ was 7-7-6-10, you can change them to 7-9-6-9 or whatever you wish).

examples of some riders:
RIDER A
Climbing- 10
Sprint- 4
Speed- 6
Endurance- 10
This type of racer will be one of the better riders in the mountains
and longer stages, but worse during the flat stages and time-trials.

RIDER B
Climbing-5
Sprint- 10
Speed- 10
Endurance- 5
This type of racer will be one of the weaker riders in the mountains
and the long stages, but great during the shorter stages and time-trials.

RIDER C
Climbing-8
Sprint- 7
Speed- 8
Endurance- 7

This racer will do well in most stages, but probably won't win many stages.


There is a Blue Jersey for the overall leader, a Green Jersey for the best sprinter and a Red Jersey for the best climber.

Link to TdQ 7 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=562287): (for those of you that will return riders from the last one)

Signups start now and will close whenever I feel there is enough riders (at least 25 riders).

Please Signup below with your rider-list and category stats.

A full Stage program will be posted before Sign-ups close. (Usually two days before I close the Signups).

To all who participate, Good luck and see you in Qazox City, when and where this ends.

(ooc: I'm expecting to begin this around April 6th or so)

NEW!!!!!: Wikistates page:http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox) check it out!!!

Qazox returns the following riders:

Craig Nathaniel- Age 27, from Gothika
Climbing- 8
Sprint- 8
Speed- 8
Endurance- 7

Danni Nathaniel- Age 26, from Gothika (WOMAN) (Defending Champion)
Climbing- 4
Sprint- 10
Speed- 10
Endurance-7

John Nathaniel- Age 24, from Gothika
Climbing- 7
Sprint- 9
Speed- 6
Endurance- 9

Team Purple Knight
Alan Zimmerman
6
7
9
9

Larry Armstrong
6
6
9
10

Jaques Martoon
9
6
7
9

Points added already i believe.

Sorthern Northland shall be represented by the Asal éide spóirt - Sorthern Racing team (formerly the Sorthern Northland Airlines Racing team). Their riders are as follows:

Mike Caverndash

Climbing-5
Sprint- 10
Speed- 10
Endurance- 6

Sorthern Northland's bright new young cycling star (not all that new actually, he was at the last TdQ), recently (again, not that recently really) converted from track to road cycling. Claims to be the fastest man in the world (on a bike in the last couple of hundred metres of a race that is, if it's flat, and a nice sunny day, and the wind's blowing in the right direction). Can't climb though, which unfortunately hinders him in the general classification once the mountains are reached. A medal winner for Sorthern Northland at the last (summer) Olympics.

Fran Ventoso

Climbing-6
Sprint-10
Speed-9
Endurance-6

Sorthern Northland's other new young bright cycling star (again not that new really, competed in the last TdQ). Again a sprinter rather than a climber. Not quite as quick as Caverndash but if he gets a good lead out in a sprint or is around the front he is a good bet to be there or there abouts at the finish line. Also a team mate of Caverndash and fellow medallist at the last (summer) Olympics. Also has a girls name.

Daithí Meallán

Climbing-10
Sprint-1
Speed-9
Endurance-10

His name translates into English as 'swift lighting'. His name sort of describes him as a cyclist, but at the same time doesn't in terms of sprinting ability. Can climb well though. Very well. Or at least he can compared to other Sorthern cyclists, whether he can compared to cyclists from other nations remains to be seen. Will probably end up as a domestique to Caverndash and Ventoso if things go to plan. Which they probably won't.

Mitxel Mariñelarena

The teams lively Directeur sportif. A bit of a wine fan, it's not unknown for him to take to the wheel of the team car after a couple of bottles, which has led to a small number of cyclists ending up in hospital. Also has a surname no one can remember how to spell so is usually referred to by just his first name.

http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr245/SorthernNorthland/sortherncyclingkit.png

Team Jeruselem

Daisy Cartwheeler

The "fast chic" of the team. Works in a "dirty" video store if she's not cycling.

Climbing-5
Sprint-10
Speed-10
Endurance-6

..

Heath Stamforger

The climber of the team who can also be seen selling tickets at football stadiums to earn money for his profession.

Climbing-10
Sprint-3
Speed- 8
Edurance-10

...

Hamish Dallas

The son of Hikfie "Dopey" Dallas who can be seen riding the streets of Bostopia in preparation for the TDQ8.

Climbing-7
Sprint-8
Speed-9
Endurance-7

(Jeruselem here)

LOVISA TEAM (LOV)

PEDRO ALACOA
Climbing- 7
Sprint- 8
Speed- 7
Endurance- 9

BASTIAN SCHLAGER
Climbing-7
Sprint- 8
Speed- 10
Endurance- 6

SEBASTIEN BRUEL
Climbing-8
Sprint-7
Speed- 8
Endurance- 8

Matt Quinlan
Climbing- 9
Sprint- 5
Speed- 6
Endurance- 9

Joe Whittsig
Climbing: 5
Sprint: 8
Speed: 7
Endurance: 4

Noah Carlson
Climbing: 9
Sprint: 8
Speed: 8
Endurance: 7

Michelle Stewart

Climbing- 7
Sprint- 8
Sprint- 8
Endurance- 7

Katie Skiff

Climbing- 6
Sprint- 10
Speed- 9
Endurance- 5

Jeff McNally

Climbing- 10
Sprint- 8
Speed- 7
Endurance- 5

24 in already.. good!

Just need at least 1 more (meaning at least 1 more nation).
As for the April 6th start date, I'm going too be too busy the week of March 30-April 4 to do this, and I'm not going to start it next week, then take a week off...

Our team is sponsored by Quintessential Computer Systems.

Julius Sundberg
Climbing: 7
Sprint: 10
Speed: 7
Endurance: 6

Raine Kauniainen
Climbing: 9
Sprint: 5
Speed: 9
Endurance: 7

Michael Fassbinder
Climbing: 9
Sprint: 4
Speed: 8
Endurance: 9

bump

The sky blue and white on bikes? Believe it!

Keystone Wireless Racing:

Ryan Marshall, Age: 23
Climbing- 8
Sprint- 8
Speed-7
Endurance- 7

Kevin Peters, Age: 26
Climbling- 9
Sprint- 7
Speed- 6
Endurance- 8

Michelle Patrick, Age: 31
Climbing- 5
Sprint- 9
Speed- 9
Endurance- 7

yay 27 riders!

I'm definitely keen, if there's still space?

RIDERS FROM THE NEWCOMER IGLESIAN ARCHIPELAGO:

João Machado, 28 years old
Climbing - 5
Sprint - 10
Speed - 10
Endurance - 5

Daniel Borges, 26 years old
Climbing - 6
Sprint - 5
Speed - 7
Endurance - 10

Mariano José, 22 years old
Climbing - 3
Sprint - 10
Speed - 5
Endurance - 7

We are here as well. Hello.

Here, some riders.

Jan de Wit (aged 21)
Climbing - 9
Sprint - 9
Speed - 5
Endurance - 7

Michael Albertse (aged 29)
Climbing - 6
Sprint - 6
Speed - 9
Endurance - 9

Frits Lambrechts (aged 24)
Climbing - 7
Sprint - 9
Speed - 8
Endurance - 6

As for almost every sport, we have a kit for this as well.

http://img5.imageshack.us/img5/3791/rottweiler.png

If anyone is interested in creating his own kit, a template can be found here (http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/9596/rottweiler2.png).

O'Reilly Cycling Team

Alexander Murton-Smith (7 - 7 - 9 - 7)
Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (10 - 5 - 7 - 8)
Elmo McBain (6 - 10 - 8 - 6)

Cafundéu to participate:

Cafundéu's riders:

Leonardo Camargo, 22 years old. A young but talented rider, who impressed the whole country in winning domestic titles which were usually won by only the most experienced driver. Will participate in his first international competition, and is viewed as a good substitute for the legendary rider Ricardo Martínez, although many still doubt his capacity.

Climbing - 10
Sprint - 3
Speed - 8
Endurance - 10

Sérgio Alvarenga Borges, 26 years old. Very determinated rider, is good at fast stages, as he can ride very fast. But has some difficulties in mountain stages, so it can affect his overall performance. Participated in the last Tour of Qazox.

Climbing - 4
Sprint - 10
Speed -10
Endurance - 7

Marina Bellagge, 24 years old, a very determined rider who just now enters in the international stage. She has some experience in the national scene, but didn't win any titles. Was chosen to participate in the team because she worked in Qazox for 2 years during her college years and because the first option, Beatriz Ribeiro, is injured. (new participant)

Climbing - 9
Sprint - 9
Speed - 9
Endurance - 3

I'm definitely keen, if there's still space?

Yep.

Ross Barello - 10/2/8/10
Mountain specialist.

Anthony Kronenborg - 4/10/10/6
Sprinter/time-triallist.

Eddie Onassis - 4/6/10/10
Breakaway man.

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/G9.png

OK.

Due a very serious RL issue, I'm not going to be on Jolt consistantly for the near future.

So effective on this upcoming Tuesday, I will not have consistant internet access.

I don't know when I will be back on Jolt Full-time, hopefully soon though it is very doubtful, but for the foreseeable future, I (and to the same extent, Green wombat and Prux) will not be participating in any upcoming tourneys or events. We will attempt to RP in the events we are currently are in, but don't be suprised if none of us do.

And to answer a couple of questions:

NO I'm not going to jail
NO I'm not battling an illness.
NO I'm not dying.
YES I am moving.

(I will attempt to Post Results and such in this as best I can, but odds are expect results to be up every other day.

BUMPING for Bumping

I will have the course and schedule posted this weekend This still won't start until April 6th though.

Peisandros Cycling Team (PCT)
While only being semi-professional, this is the top team out of Peisandros. As you can see, they are mountain specialists. The Pipp brothers have been the leaders among Peisandros cyclists for the last decade, but Barker is an upcoming talent.

Carlos Pipp
Climbing - 10
Sprint - 3
Speed -7
Endurance - 10

Johnny Pipp
Climbing - 10
Sprint - 1
Speed - 9
Endurance - 10

Anthony Barker
Climbing - 10
Sprint - 7
Speed - 4
Endurance - 6

COURSE SCHEDULE

Day 1 Prologue: Krenville, Qazox to Krenville- Distance 42.7 miles
Day 2 Stage 1: Krenville to Tobin City, Qazox- 117.6 miles
Day 3 Stage 2: Tobin City to Monroeville, Qazox- 107.3 miles
Day 4 Stage 3: Monroeville to Saint Nash- 119.0 miles
Day 5 Stage 4: Saint Nash to Saxervilla- 183 miles
Day 6: REST DAY
Day 7 Stage 5: Saxervilla to Rockport- 119.8 miles
Day 8 Stage 6: Rockport to Las Vitas- 92.7 miles
Day 9 Stage 7: Las Vitas to Carlovia- 87.5 miles
Day 10 Stage 8: TEAM TIME TRIAL- Carlovia to Carlovia- 49 miles
Day 11 Stage 9: Carlovia to Gothika- 72.6 miles
Day 12 Stage 10: Gothika to Lorax City- 83.9 miles
Day 13 Stage 11: INDIVIDUAL TIME TRIAL- Lorax City to Lorax City- 42 miles
Day 14: TRAVEL DAY (Lorax City to New Bruxen)
Day 15 Stage 12: New Bruxen to Monteverde- 89.3 miles
Day 16 Stage 13: Monteverde to San Guano- 100.7 miles
Day 17 Stage 14: San Guano to Kibbutz- 98 miles
Day 18 Stage 15: Kibbutz to Monteverde- 78.4 miles
Day 19 Stage 16: Monteverde to Vogg City- 80.6 miles
Day 20 Stage 17: INDIVIDUAL TIME TRIAL- Vogg City to Chervan- 43 miles
Day 21 Stage 18: Chervan to Qazox City- 82 miles

TOTAL DISTANCE: 1689.1 miles (2,718.34 km)

Sign-ups will be cut-off on April 3rd at 12:01 am EDT (5:01 am GDT)

BUMP for now.

The final rider list will be posted on April 4th (hopefully, pending Internet Access, still in the process of moving...)

(ooc: Sign-ups are CLOSED and the 3-letter code is the TdQ code for your team)

TOUR de QAZOX 8 Final Rider List
Women are in Italics, Defending Champion is in BOLD, New Riders (non-TdQ7) are in RED.

QAZOX (QZX)

Craig Nathaniel
Danni Nathaniel
John Nathaniel

TAESHAN (TAE)
Alan Zimmerman
Larry Armstrong
Jaques Martoon
SORTHERN NORTHLAND (SNO)
Mike Caverndash
Fran Ventoso
Daithí Meallán
JERUSELEM (JRU)
Daisy Cartwheeler
Heath Stamforger
Hamish Dallas
LOVISA (LOV)
Pedro Alacoa
Bastian Schlager
Sebastien Breul
SARZONIA (SAR)
Matt Quinlan
Joe Whittsig
Noah Carlson
CASSADAIGUA (CSS)

Michelle Stewart
Katie Skiff
Jeff McNally
QUINTESSENCE of DUST (QOD)
Julius Sundberg
Raine Kauniainen (QoD, if i'm wrong, let me know...)
Michael Fassbinder

NEWMANISTAN (NEW)
Ryan Marshall
Kevin Peters
Michelle Patrick
IGLESIAN ARCHIPELAGO (IGA)
João Machado
Daniel Borges
Mariano José
NETHERTOPIA (NTH)
Jan de Wit
Michael Albertse
Frits Lambrechts
KURA-PELLAND (KPL)
Alexander Murton-Smith
Ambrosio Roiz Múgica
Elmo McBain
CAFUNDEU (CAF)
Leonardo Camargo
Sérgio Alvarenga Borges
Marina Bellagge
KRYTENIA (KRY)
Ross Barello
Anthony Kronenborg
Eddie Onassis
PEISANDROS (PEI)
Carlos Pipp
Johnny Pipp
Anthony Barker

TOTAL RIDERS: 45 (New record)
New Riders: 30 (New Record)

The Prologue results will be posted sometime Monday night (4/6) after 11:00pm EDT. So get those pre-prologue RP's in!
Wiki page (http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8)

We would like to request to change our nation's code to NTH, as this seems to be used in every sport yet.

(OOC: Could we also change our code to SNO as that's what's used in other sports? Thank you.)

cyclingdaily.sn

Caverndash expects improvement

The last time Mike Caverndash competed in the Tour de Qazox, he was widely proclaimed to be one of the riders to watch, and expected by many to be among the stage winners along with his team mate Fran Ventoso. Neither happened as both riders endured a poor tour, with the Sorthern team having a rider finish in the top three of a stage on just one occasion. For a team that had announced that it would dominate the flat stages with a sprint finish it was a poor showing. Or as Caverndash puts it, “fucking bollocks”.

Despite that though, both he and Ventoso return for eighth Tour de Qazox, and despite last years showing suggesting they should perhaps take things a bit more cautiously Caverndash will still go into the prologue in his typical bullish mood. Speaking with obvious confidence, Caverndash tells us “We were crap last year, but that's the past. Me and Fran are in my opinion two of the best sprinters in the world, but we just weren't able to get into positions to have a proper sprint last year. Maybe that was partly just bad luck, but with all respect to Karl (Agnew, former Aés Sorthern Racing rider dropped for this years tour), he wasn't the best at setting up a sprint. He's a great cyclist, just not the right foil for me and Fran. This year we've brought the lad, Daithí Meallán into the team, and hopefully he'll be able to set me and Fran up for the sprints. But if not he's a fantastic climber and should hopefully keep us in contention in the hills and mountains. This year, the team will get a couple of wins.”

Another issue that Caverndash felt held the team up was preparation. Last years Tour was preceded by the Olympic Games, where the Sorthern cycling team won more medals than any other nation. “It wasn't ideal. We had two weeks of the highest level competition at the Olympics, and then we came straight to Qazox and onto the Tour. There was no rest, no proper preparation”, the 'Sorthern Express' as he is known to his fans explains, and he goes on, “We had little time to study the route, we hadn't adapted to Qazox, the weather and so on. This time we've come out a month in advance and we know the route. We've already ridden a couple of the stages where Mixtel (the teams Directeur sportif) thinks we can win. On those we've got an idea of where the wind'll come from, how difficult any gradients are, a feel for the road surface. Little things like that can make a difference.”

Those are all things that the numerous Sorthern fans travelling to Qazox will be hoping will make a difference. Despite last years poor showing, cycling remains a popular and ever increasing sport for Sortherners. This years Sorthern Cycling Championships attracted a record number of entrants, something that Caverndash is aware of as he jokes, “It's good so many people want to get involved. Maybe in a few years someone will get a bit of luck and beat me and Fran in the national championship.”

The Prologue Stage today started with the riders leaving in alphabetical order in 45 second intervals to start the stage, with defending champion, Danni Nathaniel of Qazox, leaving last.

For the first time, the Tour de Qazox will start in the Northland Territories, acquired during the Q-Continuum War, with the Prologue and the first 2 stages and the beginning of the third travelling within the territory. This Prologue stage, from Krenville to Folsom and back to Krenville is the hilliest Prologue stage in TdQ history, with a 750 foot hill in Folsom that serves as the turnaround point.

(ooc: For all intents and purposes, in the TdQ, the Prologue is also a Individual Time Trial Stage)

TOUR de QAZOX RESULTS
Day 1: Prologue: Krenville, Qazox to Krenville- Distance 42.7 miles

(These are also the current Overall Standings as well)
The Overall Leader will be in BLUE through out the TOUR, and the Climb/Sprint Leaders will be in RED/GREEN (respectively) through out as well. The Stage Winner will be in BOLD (Stage Results only) and the Defending Champion will be in BOLD ITALICS in both sets of standings.


1- João Machado (IGA) 1hr:26min:26sec
2- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +0:02 sec
3- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +0:03 sec
4- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +0:05 sec
5- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +0:08 sec
6- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +0:10 sec
7- Katie Skiff (CSS) +0:12 sec
8- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +0:13 sec
9- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:17 sec
10- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +0:18 sec
11- Elmo McBain (KPL) +0:22 sec
12- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +0:23 sec
13- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:24 sec
14- Julius Sundberg QOD) +0:25 sec
15- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +0:27 sec
16- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:29 sec
17- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:30 sec
18- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +0:32 sec
19- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +0:33 sec
20- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +0:35 sec
21- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +0:36 sec
22- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:38 sec
23- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +0:41 sec
24- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +0:42 sec
25- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +0:43 sec
26- John Nathaniel (QZX) +0:44 sec
27- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +0:46 sec
28- Michael Albertse (NTH) +0:47 sec
29- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +0:48 sec
30- Mariano José (IGA) +0:50 sec
31- Jan de Wit (NTH) +0:52 sec
32- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +0:53 sec
33- Kevin Peters (NEW) +0:54 sec
34- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +0:56 sec
35- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +1:00 sec
36- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +1:01 sec
37- Daniel Borges (IGA) +1:03 sec
38- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +1:07 sec
39- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +1:08 sec
40- Anthony Barker (PEI) +1:09 sec
41- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +1:11 sec
42- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +1:15 sec
43- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +1:16 sec
44- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +1:17 sec
45- Ross Barello (KRY) +1:18 sec


Sprinter Standings: (Daisy Cartwheeler has the Green Jersey due to João Machado wearing the Blue Jersey.)


1- João Machado (Iglesian Archipelago) 10 pts
2- Daisy Cartwheeler (Jeruselem) 7 pts
3- Mike Caverndash (Sorthern Northland) 5 pts
4- Anthony Kronenborg (Krytenia) 4 pts
5- Danni Nathaniel (Qazox) 3 pts
6- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (Cafundeu) 2 pts
7- Katie Skiff (Cassadaigua) 1 pt



Up Next: Krenville to Tobin City, Qazox- 117.6 miles.
Preview: Continuing in the hills of the Northland Territory, the Tour heads west towards the former Capital of Sawed, Tobin City, where the final 5 miles of the stage will be run across three bridges criss-crossing the Bell River.

Wiki page here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8

The New Cleethorpes Enquirer
Fine for Kauniainen compounds first day miseries

The Quintessential Cycle Federation today confirmed it would be fining Raine Kauniainen of Team QCS, the first female athlete from Quintessence of Dust to compete in the Tour de Qazox, for wearing unauthorised colours during the Day 1 Prologue. Kauniainen, who finished in 32nd place in the record 45-rider field, 53 seconds behind winner João Machado of Iglesian Archipelago, said she was "disappointed" with the decision, attributing the incident to an error. She will not be penalised by the TdQ authorities.

With hundreds of thousands of Quodites regularly enjoying cycling and following the country's own Tour race every year, there were high hopes for the national team, sponsored by Quintessential Computer Systems, which entered the 8th Tour de Qazox. Having traditionally dissented from participating in the competition owing to its substantial differences from domestic cycling, with no domestiques, the QCF, benefitting from the recent infusion of money into the new Department of Sport, finally permitted entry, but may already be regretting that decision.

Quintessential cyclists fared poorly. Michael Fassbinder of the Greschmeier Mountain Sports Club languishes in 36th place, already over a minute back, and will have to bank on strong performances in the mountains to make up the time. Kauniainen, also of the GMSC, did little better, recouping a few seconds to finish in 32nd. Hopes rested on Julius Sundberg of the Rahlia Racing Club, but he could only manage 14th in a strong field. Speaking afterwards, he said, "Certainly, I was shocked by the length of the course: for a prologue in a Tour of this length, that's really grim, and I think tomorrow will have to be a slow stage, especially with no one to set the pace." He had no comment on the incident involving Kauniainen.

The mistake was only noticed several hours after the race. Kauniainen had taken to the course wearing, not the black outfit of Team QCS, but instead the colours of the Iglesian team. What she dubbed a "wardrobe malfunction" even confused race organizers, who initially listed her as competing for the Archipelago. Not realizing how serious the incident was, she laughed it off, remarking, "Ok, so does this mean you're all in for nine hours of lecturers about trams and TV channels?" But she was distraught when being told of the fine.

Tomorrow's stage sees the field ride into Tobin City, with an exciting finish over the bridges of Bell River. Team QCS Directeur Sportif Hans Hansen admitted things had not started well, but said he the team had prepared well and were set to compete in the mountain stages. "It is far too early for judgments, and a bad first day is not going to put my riders off giving their all throughout this TdQ. We're very excited.
OOC: So, yep, Kauniainen should be (QOD) not (IGA) in the results. And I thought 11pm EDT was several hours from now...must have been confused. Is there a particular daily RP cut-off time in UTC?

(ooc to QOD and to all, I meant to Put 11:00 AM EDT, not 11:00 PM EDT.. from now on, (hopefully) expect an RP cutoff of 10:30 pm EDT (3:00 am UTC) And I didn't notice that mistake with your rider, but it has been fixed. )

A pretty girl with another pretty girl ...

Dazza: Hello, I'm Lilian Dazza Greenly for JGN. I'm in Qazox! This is the Tour de Qazox 8. I'm with Daisy Cartwheeler of Team Jeruselem.
Daisy: Hello!
Dazza: I'm here because I'm Qazian and secondly my second name is Dazza. And thirdly Greenly people are popular in Qazox. OK, Daisy ... that was a great ride! 2nd and we got some points.
Daisy: Yes, João Machado won the day but I'm happy just to get 2nd place.

Dazza: Teammate Hamish Dallas, who is a real Dallas ... did well in 13th.
Daisy: Yes, that was a good ride for someone's first ride. He helped me get to where I was in order to have a shot at winning this stage.
Dazza: Heath didn't do all that well today.
Daisy: Oh well, he's not the type to win this type of stage.

Dazza: I've noticed, in this tour - most teams are fielding new teams apart from Qazox, Taeshan, CAFUNDEU, Lovisa, Southern Northland and us.
Daisy: New blood and new fresh kids to take over I guess for the other teams.
Dazza: Can you win the sprinters jersey?
Daisy: Maybe, it's only the early days.

Dazza: How does one ride with big boobies? Doesn't it slow you down.
Daisy: No, I think it makes me faster. Better aerodynamics.
Dazza: That's funny theory.
Daisy: Not everyone in this tour has my problem.

Dazza: I might
Daisy: You've got pretty decent boobs too.
Dazza: Well, I guess that's why they hired me!
Daisy: I have no idea why I'm here. It's not my intelligence.

Sports news!!!!!!!

"Tooooday in sports news here on your FRIENDLY government media channel, we have football, rugby and.. hold on, cycling?!?! Oookay then!

Firstly football. Peisandros has been drawn into group......."

Twelve minutes later

"Now on to cycling... I don't know why we have this here. But sure. Apparently we have three riders in the Tour of Qazox and they are doing horribly -- no surprises there though! Well, we'll keep you posted I guess.

NOW! To weather with Cindy!"

TOUR DE QAZOX- PROLOGUE

After turning a cold shoulder to the event, Newmanistan finally decided to send an entry to the Tour De Qazox. Despite rumors that this was simply done to trade Tour and Lacrosse entries between the two hosting nations, Newmanistan’s cyclists insist that this is not the case.

The leading cyclist for the Keystone Wireless Racing is Michelle Patrick, who has devoted her whole life to increasing cycling awareness in the country. You will recall that she did participate in the recent 3rd Summer Olympics. Of course, you would have had to have been paying attention to the cycling events to have remembered that. She did win a Gold Medal in Columbia. Remember that? See, we have proof if you don’t believe that! http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13919829&postcount=293
We even devoted a full page to chronicling her life story:
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13895489&postcount=47
Now, participating in the Tour de Qazox will be just the next step in her career!

Patrick placed 12th in the first stage, a 42.7 mile time trial in Krenville. She was 23 seconds behind stage winner Joao Machado of Iglesian Archipelago. It was an overall solid showing for the Tour rookie who seemed very honored to simply be participating in the event. “I have to admit that I did get a little teary eyed before the start,” Patrick said, “This is just another step that Newmanistan has taken to increase the prestige level of cycling within the Empire. I know that they are trying to ride the coattails of me having won a gold medal in Columbia, and that’s just fine. That’s what needs to happen. It’s an honor to be in this field.” As for her performance, she also seemed pretty happy with it, “These fast time trials are going to be my bread and butter. If I have a chance to win or contend for a win, this is where I have to register my best times. It was a decent run, I think I could have made my decision to pedal harder a little early then I did, and maybe I was content to ride a little too much. Maybe I would have been closer to Machado that way. Still, 12th place is a good starting point, and something that can be built upon.”

The other riders, who both point to Patrick as their role model, did not quite perform as well as Michelle. Ryan Marshall was 23rd, 41 seconds off the pace, and Kevin Peters 33rd, 54 seconds behind. Peters in particular, is expected to be better when the tour reaches the mountains.

In a country that lives for its football, the question of which title defence team would lead the sports section of The Woodstock Daily Mail created surprisingly fierce debate.

Even though lacrosse was dismissed as little more than a niche sport in Sarzonia, that team's success in its inaugural appearance in the World Lacrosse Championships and its current 2-0 record made the case for that particular collection of Stars to occupy the lead story.

However, the school of thought of other editors was that the Under 21 national football team with a new manager after Brett Hancock led them to a title in the country's most popular sport should have the lead position.

Back and forth went the debate.

"Those lads are professionals," a senior writer said, making his case for the lacrosse team. "The Under 21 lads are kids!"

"Nonsense!" an editor retorted. "Lacrosse is nothing more than a niche sport in this country. If we led with lacrosse, we'd never hear the end of it."

"If we didn't lead with lacrosse, we'd never hear the end of it," a longtime editor replied. "Didn't you see that parade for the lacrosse team? Sarzonians love winners."

"Both teams are winners," a young reporter interjected. Grizzled reporters and grounchy deskers looked at the cub reporter and gasped. How dare he!

However, the sports editor put his hand up and said, "hear him out."

"They both deserve prominent play," the cub reporter said. "Right now, the lacrosse side are 2-0. When the footie side start playing, give them the space. But until then, playing up lacrosse won't hurt."

"Now what about this ... Tour de Qazox?"

"Back page," everyone in the room said in unison. They didn't care that Portland resident Matt Quinlan worked two jobs to save up enough money to buy a competition bike and train on it exclusively. They didn't care that Noah Carlson quit a six-figure job in Nicksia to move to Woodstock to train in the Lorber Mountains.

To them, cycling was the sport you sent the young kid to cover. And hope he didn't embarass himself in the process.

Katie’s Blog

Good morning, I am Katie Skiff and I am writing to you from the Tour de Qazox! It can be relaxing after a strenous ride to sit back in front of the computer. Last night the Tour de Qazox got under way, and I am really honored to be participating. There are 45 of us, which I have been told is a record for the event. There are 18 stages, not including the prologue, over 21 days. During the course of competition, we will trek a total of 1719.1 miles, making this a pure test of endurance and the simple human will to overcome the pains and tribulations that will surely come. It is my first time in this, but I have made cycling my life, and believe that I am properly conditioned to have success. People say that I lack endurance, well we will just have to wait and see. I think where all that comes to play is that I simply have not been in something this large before, but you will never know how good you can do unless you give it a shot! The sprinting stages are going to be my forte. Climbing has never been my strong suit, and that is where you will be seeing fellow Dagan Jeff McNally make up a lot of time. Jeff is very eager to get to the mountains, where I must admit, I am not. Though I will be up for the challenge when it happens. Michelle Stewart may be our most complete rider, and is the one that we will feel will ultimately be the best performer of us three. She has earned that confidence boost, but she just wasn’t in the mood to be our team blogger. There are two competitions here for us, the overall competition to win the Tour, and the team competition, to be the best Dagan rider. So far I’m ahead, after finishing 7th in the prologue, which took place in Krenville. I was just 12 seconds behind the leader, and was charging late, nipping Fran Ventoso at the end. Michelle came in 19th, and Jeff in 22nd. Now, the tour will REALLY start! I’m excited, as excited as I’ll ever be for the next three weeks!

JORNAL DE IGLÉSIAS
6th April, 2009

JOÃO MACHADO WINS A STAGE ON TOUR DE QAZOX

João Machado won today the first stage on Tour de Qazox, being made in the city of Krenville. The cyclist won the Blue Jersey, but Daisy Cartwheeler, from Jeruselem, has the Green Jersey (given for the cyclist with the biggest number of points during the entire Tour), because the Iglesian cyclist wears a Blue one.

Iglesian people have euphoria because of the first place being given to the Iglesian Archipelago. The cyclist won the prologue with the time of 1 hour, 26 minutes and 26 seconds.

Other Iglesian cyclists are Mariano José (more 50 seconds than the champion) and Daniel Borges (more 1 minute and 3 seconds than the leader).

(ooc note to Iglesian Archipelago, the green jersey is the SPRINT leader..)

RP CUTOFF in 15 minutes....

TOUR de QAZOX STAGE RESULTS
Day 2: Stage 1: Krenville to Tobin City, Qazox- 117.6 miles

The Overall Leader will be in BLUE through out the TOUR, and the Climb/Sprint Leaders will be in RED/GREEN (respectively) through out as well. The Stage Winner will be in BOLD (Stage Results only) and the Defending Champion will be in BOLD ITALICS in both sets of standings.


1- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 4hr:31min:07sec
2- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:03 sec
3- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:08 sec
4- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +0:09 sec
5- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:11 sec
5- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:11 sec
7- Ross Barello (KRY) +0:14 sec
8- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:18 sec
8- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +0:18 sec
8- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:18 sec
11- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +0:23 sec
12- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +0:24 sec
13- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +0:25 sec
14- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:30 sec
14- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:30 sec
16- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +0:32 sec
16- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +0:32 sec
18- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +0:33 sec
19- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +0:41 sec
19- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +0:41 sec
19- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +0:41 sec
19- Katie Skiff (CSS) +0:41 sec
19- João Machado (IGA) +0:41 sec
24- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +0:45 sec
25- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +0:48 sec
25- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +0:48 sec
27- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +0:52 sec
27- Kevin Peters (NEW) +0:52 sec
29- Michael Albertse (NTH) +0:53 sec
29- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +0:53 sec
31- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +0:55 sec
32- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +1:02 sec
32- Julius Sundberg QOD) +1:02 sec
32- Elmo McBain (KPL) +1:02 sec
32- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +1:02 sec
32- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +1:02 sec
37- Jan de Wit (NTH) +1:04 sec
37- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +1:04 sec
39- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +1:06 sec
40- Anthony Barker (PEI) +1:07 sec
41- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +1:10 sec
42- John Nathaniel (QZX) +1:17 sec
43- Daniel Borges (IGA) +1:18 sec
44- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +1:24 sec
45- Mariano José (IGA) +1:40 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS

1- Marina Bellagge (CAF) 5hr:57min:58sec
2- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +0:11 sec
3- João Machado (IGA) +0:16 sec
4- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +0:18 sec
5- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +0:19 sec
6- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:22 sec
7- Katie Skiff (CSS) +0:28 sec
8- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +0:29 sec
9- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:29 sec
10- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:31 sec
11- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:35 sec
12- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +0:37 sec
13- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +0:39 sec
14- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +0:42 sec
15- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +0:45 sec
16- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +0:47 sec
17- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +0:47 sec
18- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +0:51 sec
19- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:52 sec
20- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:53 sec
21- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:54 sec
22- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +0:56 sec
23- Elmo McBain (KPL) +0:59 sec
24- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +1:00 sec
25- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +1:02 sec
26- Julius Sundberg QOD) +1:02 sec
27- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +1:02 sec
28- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +1:04 sec
29- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +1:04 sec
30- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +1:07 sec
31- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +1:07 sec
32- Ross Barello (KRY) +1:07 sec
33- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +1:14 sec
34- Michael Albertse (NTH) +1:15 sec
35- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +1:17 sec
36- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +1:21 sec
37- Kevin Peters (NEW) +1:21 sec
38- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +1:24 sec
39- Jan de Wit (NTH) +1:31 sec
40- John Nathaniel (QZX) +1:36 sec
41- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +1:41 sec
42- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +1:47 sec
43- Anthony Barker (PEI) +1:51 sec
44- Daniel Borges (IGA) +1:56 sec
45- Mariano José (IGA) +2:05 sec


Sprinter Standings:

1- João Machado (Iglesian Archipelago) 10 pts
2- Daisy Cartwheeler (Jeruselem) 7 pts
3- Mike Caverndash (Sorthern Northland) 5 pts
4- Anthony Kronenborg (Krytenia) 4 pts
5- Danni Nathaniel (Qazox) 3 pts
6- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (Cafundeu) 2 pts
7- Katie Skiff (Cassadaigua) 1 pt



Up Next: Day 3 Stage 2: Tobin City to Monroeville, Qazox- 107.3 miles
Preview: This early mountain stage will be a challenge to all riders, as they will start at 560 ft above sea level, and finish at 3400 ft above, with 2 tough climbs over the final 12.7 miles.

Wiki page here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8

The New Cleethorpes Enquirer
Kauniainen atones on unusual first stage

Quintessence of Dust's multi-vowelled female cyclist made up for her QCF reprimand in the prologue to finish 4th in the first full stage of the Tour de Qazox. But Team QCS DS Hans Hansen was left scratching his head as he admitted what many within the Quodite cycling community had already suspected: "We may be confused about the format here." The flat stage failed to end in a pack sprint as the field split into two, some 27 riders trailing in off the pace while the leading group split unevenly. On the final bridge Kauniainen lost the wheel of Cafundelese cyclist Marina Bellagge, who took over the blue jersey from Machado.

The stage was won by one of the Sandrian Pipp brothers, Johnny, but it was an unconventional finish as the peleton fractured relatively early. Sprinter Julius Sundberg was unable to keep up with the pace, finishing in 32nd pace. "Some of the more seasoned hands seemed to find this about a par, so maybe we have to rethink how we're actually going to approach this race," he admitted afterwards, while vigorously stimulating his calves with an electric whisk.

Michael Fassbinder, who surprised many by winning last year's Giro di Quintessence of Dust, will be looking forward to tomorrow's stage, which sees the riders climb into Monroeville, a moderately high ascent, but was philosophical on Team QCS's drab start to the race. "The race is certainly demanding, and we're new to its culture; it has a very different ethos to the Giro.

A pretty girl who looks like a local Qazian but isn't ...

Hello, this is Lilian Dazza Greenly for Jeruselem Government News at the Tour de Qazox which is actually in Qazox too. It's now day 2, and stage 1 is over. The riders travelled 117.6 miles from Krenville to Tobin City. Good news for Team Jeruselem! Our own Heath Stamforger finished 4th, 11 seconds behind the winner Johnny Pipp. This is great start for our team with Daisy finishing 2nd in the time trial. Hamish Dallas finished 14th 30 seconds behind Johnny and Daisy did well to be 19th, 41 seconds off the pace.

In the overall standings, we have two riders in the top 10 with Daisy in 4th and Hamish in 9th. Heath is 20th but we fully expect Daisy to drop off the lead while Heath gets better. It's just going to get harder with the riders facing a 107.3 mile ride from Tobin City to Monroeville over a mountain stage meaning Daisy isn't going be where she is now but Heath will prove what a mountain he is.

I spoke to my cousin Beth here since she lives here and I don't and she says driving from Tobin City to Monroeville is not an easy one. Now, that's driving a car - these people are riding bikes with no brakes. The mountain riders will take charge here now and push the sprinters down the rankings. It's pretty cold here, well because I'm a Jerusemite and don't see mountains a lot.

The team aren't looking forward to the mountains except Heath who is the guy for the job. There's a quite a few women in this Tour these days but on Qazox, this doesn't matter anyway as gender equality is pretty good here. Both male and female will be suffering the same torment up and down the mountain! I tell you, the riders here are tough people. I couldn't do what they do here.

It's weird about celebrity here. The folks here know a lot about our team but they seem more interested in me. They call me Qaz Daz for Qazian Dazza over here. The real Dazza is still know well here, and people always ask if I'm related to Dazza or Ryan Greenly. Sadly, it's neither! That's it from me, I have to drive off to Monroeville ahead of the team. I'm glad I'm not riding there!

RIDERS; MEDIA GET A DOSE OF CHALLENGE

Qazox- The riders participating in the Tour de Qazox aren’t the only ones needing to get familiar with their surroundings as they make their debut in the Tour. Apparently, us in the media have some work to do as well. In our previous article, we referred to the Prologue as also being “Stage 1”. This was in fact, an error on our part. We discovered that we have approximately 174 people reading our coverage, because that’s how many e-mails we received telling us we were idiots for making such a mistake. The Prologue, we have since found out by your angry letters, is simply a prologue. Stage 1 was today. But the prologue’s times count. So we don’t know why that wouldn’t be also called stage 1. Yes, we have a lot of work to do and a lot to learn if we are going to correctly report on the bike riding. We apologize for our error.

What we do know, with certainty, is that stage 1 truly was tonight. It is a 117.6 mile trek from Krenville from Tobin City, which pretty much gets the riders in “game shape” so to speak. There will be longer and more grueling stages ahead of them, such as the climb of nearly 3000 feet up to Monroeville. The final 12.7 miles or so are known to be particularly brutal, and we will know very quickly who has what it takes and who doesn’t. If that’s the case, then the stage 1 results from Keystone Wireless racing weren’t all that great. Michelle Patrick’s 25th place was our best showing, but she was over a minute off the pace set be stage winner Marina Belagge of Cafundeu. Patrick was two seconds ahead of teammate Ryan Marshall, who was 28th, and 1.04 minutes off the pace. See, they can do more then collect taxes and play football. Kevin Peters was 37th, 1:24 back. The overall standings sees, wait, we just gave you the overall standings there. (OOC: I originally looked at the wrong chart and then decided instead of fixing everything, let’s have the reporter make another stupid error.) Another newbieish mistake made by us. Belagge is actually the overall leader. The stage winner was Johnny Pipp of Peisandros. Marshall was 25th, 48 seconds back; Peters’ 27th and 52 seconds back and Patrick 37th, 64 seconds back.

The Rocket Report is 46th, 5 minutes back.

JORNAL DE IGLÉSIAS
08/04/2009

FIRST FULL STAGE DIDN'T WORK WELL FOR IGLESIAN CHAMPION

Iglesian cyclist João Machado was in the first place in the prologue, but he didn't reachd the first three places on this stage. João Machado was in nineteenth place, 41 seconds behind leader Johnny Pipp from Peisandros.

However, he still wears a Green Jersey, and he still has 10 points.

The mobile phone rang incessantly, but Noah Carlson didn't care.

Since giving up a six-figure salary as an investment broker at the Portland Stock Exchange, his bike was his life. He spent days riding a competition bike into the Lorber Mountains near Woodstock in an effort to improve his efforts in the mountains. He noticed a man who would spend time on early Saturday mornings trying to climb the mountains and checking his stopwatch constantly.

Six months later, Carlson and this mystery man would meet on the way to the Tour de Qazox. Carlson would find out the mystery man was Matt Quinlan, who trained to specialise in climbing in altitude. Meanwhile, the two men would meet up with Joe Whittsig, who spent more time working on sprint races than he did on long-distance climbs. He was the only other racer who expressed interest in traveling to Qazox for the Tour, so he was selected.

The Krenville to Tobin City stage took a lot out of Whittsig. He was clearly out of his league here in Qazox trying to compete in one of the longest bike rides in the world instead of in his natural element of sprinting. Quinlan was starting to show some of the problems inherent with working two full-time jobs and not being able to devote time to training for sprints. Sure, his endurance was a shade better than Whittsig's, but he still was behind the rest of the pack.

As for Carlson, he was 22 seconds behind the rider who donned the blue jersey after Stage 1: Cafundéu's Marina Bellagge. He hoped his extensive training would pay off with an unlikely Tour de Qazox victory. But even if it didn't, he hoped he would finish well enough to allow some young Sarzonians to dream of competing and winning the world's premier bicycle race. And perhaps allow some corporate sponsorship that could allow him, and his two teammates, to train full-time without having to deal with the challenges of putting food on the table.

Or getting those collections calls off Carlson's back.

Cyclingdaily.sn

Sorthern Northland's Asal éide spóirt – Sorthern Racing team were in strong form yesterday for the Tour de Qazox's first stage. Despite being a hilly course, all three riders finished in the top half of the field, with renowned hill fearers Mike Caverndash and Fran Ventoso finishing 19th and 20th with the same time. A mere forty-one seconds behind stage winner Johnny Pipp. The highlight for the Sorthern team though was the strong showing by new rider Daithí Meallán.

Meallán's role in the team is expected to be one in which he'll mainly act as support for Caverndash and Ventoso. Today's stage though showed that he has the ability to play more than a mere supporting role in the cast of Sorthern cycling. A tactically astute ride from Meallán saw him deal with any threatening breakaways amply enough, and in time allowed him to attack along Johnny Pipp of the rather boringly but suitably descriptively named Peisandros Cycling Team. Or PCT for short. Both riders are all out climbers and this led to a comically bad sprint finish between the pair over the last three hundred metres in which Meallán managed to crash his bike into a barrier on the side of the road causing him to tumble rather than ride across the line some three seconds after Pipp.

Speaking after the race Meallán said he was happy despite the clumsy finish. “I'm a bit sore after that, but we'll treat the bruising and it should heal over the next few days, so I'll be fine to carry on racing. It was disappointing to lose that sprint at the end, but I'm delighted to finish in second although slightly surprised to not get any points for it. Pippo's disappointed about that as well, he should be wearing the red jersey tomorrow in my opinion but in the post race ceremonies he didn't get it so we'll have to see what happens. I'm just looking forward to tomorrows stage though, the last twenty kilometres look interesting with the climbs and that's the sort of territory I'm here to do well in.”

Following today's stage there was slight confusion among the riders, as highlighted by Meallán, as to the lack of points awarded for the stage. As well as the overall time, there are two other classifications in the race, the sprint points classification and the mountain points classification in which points are awarded to riders on the basis of their finishing position on a stage. Today's stage saw no points announced by the organisers, and no red jersey being awarded to the Pipp, who it is thought should be the current red jersey wearer. Asal éide spóirt – Sorthern Racing directeur sportif, Mixtel Mariñelarena was among those to voice his confusion over the events, commenting, “I don't know what's going on. Whether or not the organisers are supposed to award points for every stage. As far as I am aware they should do, but they haven't announced it so who knows? Not me. If they've decided not to, it is a great shame. Especially for the lad Johnny Pipp, he rode very well today and worked hard to get on the podium and to get the points we feel he deserves. If he does not have a red jersey to show that tomorrow, for me it detracts from the race. Hopefully we will see a clearer picture tomorrow. For now, we as a team can only concentrate on a strategy to do as well as possible on tomorrows stage. It'll be a tough ride as usual.”

RP cutoff is now (sorry about it being 10 minutes, early...) Stage 2 results up within the hour.

TOUR de QAZOX STAGE RESULTS
Day 3: Stage 2: Tobin City to Monroeville, Qazox- 107.3 miles


The Overall Leader will be in BLUE through out the TOUR, and the Climb/Sprint Leaders will be in RED/GREEN (respectively) through out as well. The Stage Winner will be in BOLD (Stage Results only) and the Defending Champion will be in BOLD ITALICS in both sets of standings.


1- Ross Barello (KRY) 4hr:52min:06sec
2- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +0:04 sec
3- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:08 sec
4- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:09 sec
5- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +0:11 sec
6- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:13 sec
7- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +0:16 sec
8- Anthony Barker (PEI) +0:18 sec
9- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:19 sec
10- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +0:27 sec
11- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +0:28 sec
12- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +0:29 sec
13- Kevin Peters (NEW) +0:33 sec
14- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:35 sec
15- Jan de Wit (NTH) +0:36 sec
16- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +0:37 sec
17- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:42 sec
18- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +0:45 sec
19- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +0:46 sec
20- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:47 sec
21- John Nathaniel (QZX) +0:50 sec
22- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +0:51 sec
23- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +0:57 sec
24- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:58 sec
25- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +0:59 sec
26- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +1:06 sec
27- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +1:07 sec
28- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +1:08 sec
29- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +1:17 sec
30- Daniel Borges (IGA) +1:18 sec
31- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +1:20 sec
32- Michael Albertse (NTH) +1:21 sec
33- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +1:24 sec
34- Elmo McBain (KPL) +1:25 sec
35- Katie Skiff (CSS) +1:28 sec
36- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +1:34 sec
37- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +1:37 sec
38- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +1:38 sec
39- João Machado (IGA) +1:41 sec
40- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +1:44 sec
41- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +1:50 sec
42- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +1:51 sec
43- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +1:52 sec
44- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +1:55 sec
45- Mariano José (IGA) +2:00 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS

1- Marina Bellagge (CAF) 10hr:50min:04sec
2- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:08 sec
3- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +0:13 sec
4- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:15 sec
5- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:20 sec
6- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:20 sec
7- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:23 sec
8- Ross Barello (KRY) +0:25 sec
9- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +0:32 sec
10- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +0:37 sec
11- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:40 sec
12- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +0:41 sec
13- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:45 sec
14- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +0:46 sec
15- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +0:46 sec
16- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +0:51 sec
17- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +0:56 sec
18- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +1:08 sec
19- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +1:10 sec
20- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +1:11 sec
21- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +1:11 sec
22- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +1:11 sec
23- Kevin Peters (NEW) +1:12 sec
24- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +1:13 sec
25- Katie Skiff (CSS) +1:14 sec
26- João Machado (IGA) +1:15 sec
27- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +1:15 sec
28- Jan de Wit (NTH) +1:25 sec
29- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +1:26 sec
30- Julius Sundberg QOD) +1:27 sec
31- Anthony Barker (PEI) +1:27 sec
32- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +1:33 sec
33- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +1:40 sec
34- John Nathaniel (QZX) +1:44 sec
35- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +1:49 sec
36- Elmo McBain (KPL) +1:52 sec
37- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +1:54 sec
38- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +1:54 sec
39- Michael Albertse (NTH) +1:54 sec
40- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +1:55 sec
41- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +1:57 sec
42- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +2:29 sec
43- Daniel Borges (IGA) +2:32 sec
44- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +2:49 sec
45- Mariano José (IGA) +3:23 sec


Sprinter Standings:

1- João Machado (IGA) 10 pts
2- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) 7 pts
3- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 5 pts
4- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) 4 pts
5- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) 3 pts
6- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) 2 pts
7- Katie Skiff (CSS) 1 pt


Climbing Standings:

1- Ross Barello (KRY) 10 pts
2- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 7 pts
3- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) 5 pts
4- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 4 pts
5- Carlos Pipp (PEI) 3 pts
6- Daithí Meallán (SNO) 2 pts
7- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) 1 pt


Up Next: Day 4 Stage 3 Monroeville to Saint Nash- 119.0 miles

Preview: The 2nd early mountain stage is expected to be the quickest, as riders will travel downhill over 3200 feet within the first 35 miles of the stage. The next 80 miles wind through the Moonkin hills with only a slight 1300 foot climb over the final 4 miles to the finish in Saint Nash.

Wiki page here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8

MARINA LEADS THE TOUR. LEONARDO STARTS WELL

In this edition of the Tour of Qazox, the Cafundelense team is strong as ever. It is true that the country no more has the outstanding talent of Ricardo Martinez participating in the competition, but his successors are doing a good job in the eighth edition of the Tour. Sérgio Alvarenga Borges could already grab some points in the sprinter standings, and, until today, Leonardo Camargo wasn't expected to do a great performance, as the stages weren't ones where he could show all his potential.

Today, Leonardo could make his real start in his Tour of Qazox participation. The rider got points in the climber standings, and had a good time. But the one who is really surprising the Cafundelenses is the newcomer Marina Bellage, who is leading the Tour so far, with solid times. The difference between her and the other riders, of course, isn't big, so it is nice to see a Cafundelense with the blue jersey, to remind us of the old times of Ricardo Martinez and his team mates.

Sensational second and third stages for the Sandrian team has seen them recover from their dreadful prologue. Inparticular Johnny Pipp has been in amazing form, as he won the first stage and a close second in the second. It's left him in third place overall with brother Carlos a mere 46 seconds off the pace in 15th place. The third Sandrian rider, Anthony Barker, continued his strong improvements with an 8th in the second stage to leave him a little lower at 31 overall.

While coverage in Peisandros has been scratchy at best, there has been far more interest after Johnny's fantastic two rides. Internet viewing has been the prefered method of following the brothers and Barker, with mainstream TV channels only showing highlights of each stage. While not exactly a popular sport in Peisandros, results like these early triumphs could do much to spread the sport's popularity. Especially when the football boys, namely the U21 squad, are busy getting pumped.

Please stay tuned as we deliver the Tour of Qazox to you.

Daisy: Well done Heath, another top 5 finish.
Heath: Thanks Daisy, but we've got a long way to go still.
Daisy: I'm already sick of these mountain stages.
Heath: Speaking of sick, where's Hamish?

Daisy: Not very well ...
Heath: You don't look well either.
Daisy: I fell off the bike and on my face. Good thing I've got good cushions.
Heath: Oh yes, those cushions.

Daisy: Oh well, I didn't fall off the bloody mountain still.
Heath: A good result for me anyway.
Daisy: Where's that Dazza woman?
Heath: I think she's talking to the stage winner.

Daisy: You mean that Krytenian Ross Barello?
Heath: Yeah, whoever.
Daisy: People like talking her ...
Heath: She's a nice girl although it's more to with her boobies.

Daisy: People don't talk to me so much!
Heath: You don't have Dazza Greenly in your name.
Daisy: Good point ...
Heath: People would talk to do you if you unzipped your riding strip.

Daisy: But I'd be naked! And it's cold here.
Heath: Well, you wanted attention.
Daisy: Not like that ...
Heath: See you're not a Dazza Greenly then. Say, you look like porn star Daisy Cushypillows ...

Daisy: Actually, she's my sister.
Heath: I didn't know that.
Daisy: She gets paid a lot more than me.
Heath: I can imagine why. How come you don't follow her lead?

Daisy: I don't know, I'm a bit of wimp when it come to nudity.
Heath: So why do you work in store selling it then?
Daisy: I have no issues selling it, but me being in it is different.
Heath: You're bit weird for Jerusemite girl.

TOUR DE QAZOX- STAGE 2

Yesterday, 45 of the world’s best ever to pedal a bicycle were treated to a 107.3-mile journey from Tobin City to Monroeville and the only road they could take was the one that went the steepest route of nearly 3000 feet climb. Not only did they have to climb this, but they had to do it as fast as they possibly could. Sounds pretty darn exhausting doesn’t it? This is why cycling enthusiasts will always tell you that their sport requires athletes to be in better physical shape then football players, either football, or hockey players. There are no timeouts, no nothing. A grueling climb that most of us would probably give up on after 500 or so feet and wonder how to go back down. Well, for the riders, that part comes in stage 3. So, how did our riders fare in this challenge? Kevin Peters was 13th, 33 seconds behind super-climber Ross Barello of that other sky-blue place (Krytenia). Ryan Marshall was 18th, 46 seconds back. Those aren’t bad results, top half of the field after all. Michelle Patrick, who will be the first to admit that these long climbs aren’t always her thing was 34th, 94 seconds off the pace. It’s so much easier to say 94 seconds then a 1 minute 34, isn’t it? So anyway, as we look now to the overall standings, we see that Marina Bellagge of Taxland still leads the way. Marshall is 18th, Peters 23rd, and Patrick 38th; trailing by 1:08, 1:12, and 1:54, respectively.

Stage 3 travels 119 miles to Saint Nash. This should be a fast stage, that only has a slight climb of 1300 feet in it. Slight, I guess, to these professional and well-conditioned athletes. That still sounds pretty rough to me!

Radio interview with Johnny Pipp

"Hi Johnny, thanks for joining us, we know you're very busy."

"No worries, we've got a few spare hours."

"You must be very happy with the last two stages?"

"Yeah I'm over the moon. It was a surreal moment winning the stage. Daithí and I had a comical sprint, he even had a bit of a crash which we had a good laugh about afterwards. But I was over the moon with it. We worked pretty hard together which is a nice part of cycling. I think he actually spent a bit time with Carlos yesterday. But yeah, he's a good rider and it was nice to share the moment with him, even though I know how keen he was to win it. I'll be looking out for him on the mountains. It was also really good on the third stage to get all us three in the top ten, it's fantastic for the team. I know Pete was delighted with the effort and a few other teams had nice words to say."

"Talking of other riders, Ross Barello is keeping you out of the red jersey, what are your thoughts on that"

"He is another class rider. I know there was a bit of confusion with points and Daithí and I had a chat about it, but I'm not too worried. At the end of the day I've got my stage victory which is fantastic, and yesterday it was Ross who was able to get up for the win. I've still got my eyes on that jersey, but there are plenty of mountains to climb and I'm hoping Carlos and I can work together and maybe get another stage victory for either of us."

"There was also talk from Meallán's director Mixtel Mariñelarena about the points situation, did you talk with Peter Youllis about it?"

"Nah, not really. Pete had been in touch with authorities and let me know what was happening, so I wasn't too fussed with the situation. I didn't quite get it, but yeah, not worried."

"And finally Johnny, what are your thoughts on today's stage?"

"Well it looks like a pretty good stage. It's downhill for the start then a bit of a climb at the end, so we'll look to be there or thereabouts. The legs are feeling good so if I feel okay I'll continue the aggressive tactics I've used so far and hopefully I might be in red by the end of it."

"Well thanks very much for joining us Johnny and good luck. We'll talk to you again in a week or so."

"Cheers mate."

The New Cleethorpes Enquirer
Repeated display of penis ruled "inappropriate"

The Quintessential Cycle Federation today admitted it was "reconsidering the wisdom" of entering the 8th Tour de Qazox after being forced to fine a second of their riders for conduct issues. The normally quietly-spoken Michael Fassbinder, surprise winner of last year's Giro, was issued with the largest financial penalty in QCF history since the 2005 doping bust that engulfed Quodite cycling in uproar, for an incident that he characterised as "a regrettable lapse in judgment brought on by dehydration". Meanwhile, Directeur Sportif Hans Hansen had to quickly back-pedal (ho ho!) after engaging in a foul-mouthed rant about the quality of cycling that was accidentally caught on video by a tourist.

Fassbinder's 11th place finish substantially improved his standing, to 14th overall, but any satisfaction was marred by a post-race interview with Sport Gort reporter Alyssa Banana, broadcast live on QBS-1, during which he dropped his cycling shorts on four separate occasions, waving his genitals at the camera and making crude remarks. "You call that a mountain? That's a mountain," he said as his first introduction to his organ. QBS-1 immediately issued an apology and have been cleared by the Department of National Identity and Cultural Enterprise, but will broadcast future TdQ interviews on a time-delay to allow for penis-blurring.

It is unclear what motivated Fassbinder's actions. Interviewer Alyssa Banana said she was "shocked and offended". She tried to continue the interview, finally walking away as she began to ask, "Michael, what do you think is the biggest - oh no, I was going to say biggest challenge, biggest CHALLENGE - put it AWAY!" Some have suggested he was frustrated with the relatively short climb, and the lack of intermediary points posts with which he might have demonstrated his prowess in a more normal, cycling-related manner.

All the field comfortably completed the short stage within 2 minutes of winner, Krytenian Ross Barrello, and Stage 1 winner Johnny Pipp in Peisandros gained a 2nd place finish, though Cafundelese novice Marina Bellagge retains the blue jersey despite finishing in 17th place, 5 seconds behind Raine Kauniainen. Julius Sundberg finished in 27th, but admitted he had found the first mountain stage "well within my comfort zone".

Meanwhile, DS Hansen apologised unreservedly after one of the many Quodite fans in Qazox to watch the Tour took video of him berating the lack of intermediate and finish bonuses in a rant the QCF deemed "vulgar and uncalled-for". "The TdQ organization is none of Mr Hansen's business," said a spokeswoman for the Federation, "And right now, his priority is to achieve something this Tour, to avoid disappointing cycle fans across Quintessence of Dust."

In a bizarre development, Team QCS riders are now allegedly so afraid of censure by the QCF or Tour organizers that they have sought official clearance to engage in the standard practice of stuffing newspaper down the front of their jersey before tomorrow's long descent. When rushing down a mountain at speeds close to those achieved in sprint finishes, the cold air rushing at the rider's chest represents a serious risk, but padded jerseys are unwieldy and become cumbersome when climbing or on the flat, and hence it is established practice to bundle newspapers down the jersey collar. Kauniainen, however, said, "I'm definitely going to check: I don't want to be accused of flashing, or something."

Fassbinder has promised not to wave his penis in public again, unless it is absolutely necessary.

Katie’s Blog

We reached the mountains of the Tour de Qazox in the second stage. Oh boy. A very strenuous climb, especially towards the end is what we were hit with right away. Sprinting has always been in my blood and why cycling appealed to me at a young age. Any time I could compete in any kind of race on a flat surface I would be game for that. Climbing is not my forte and I will be the first to admit it. This doesn’t mean that I do not enjoy doing it. There is a unique challenge that comes in wanting to get up a mountain as fast as you possibly can and it takes incredible willpower to succeed at it. I need to be able to do it faster, that’s my problem. I was not intimidated by the climb that stage two would have because I have trained on Grande Mountain at home so many times. I want to get better on the mountains, and I believe that I am a much better climber then I was about five years ago. I came in 35th today. I’m tired and drained but tomorrow will be a new day and I can’t wait. Seeing Jeff McNally after the race really got my spirits back up. He did a great job and actually led the stage for a while before he faded back into the 8th position. Jeff is 2nd on the leaderboard and can’t wait to go out there again. He is the opposite of me, climbing is his strength, and not the sprints. Overall, I am 25th. Which leads me to this reader e-mail I got:

Katie, what position is the dividing line between you calling your tour a success or a failure? Kim, Rutland

My minimum goal is to finish in the top half, so I am looking at 22nd overall. That is the spot that Michelle Stewart is in right now. If I finish in the second half, then I will consider my tour to have been a failure. My goals for the tour include winning the whole thing, of course. Smaller goals would be to win a stage, or placing in the top 10 overall, or to be the top Dagan rider. Little things like that.

ooc: Well now... QoD is definitely bringing something to the RPing, which has been good so far, from all of you! Keep it up!:)

OOC2: IMPORTANT NEWS: in the TdQ if there is an off day/travel day on the stage schedule, it doesn't mean there is an RL off day. BUT on the next TWO MONDAYS (April 13th and April 20th) there will be off days, as I have to work late on those two nights. Just forewarning you all.

"This is a fucking ordeal," Joe Whittsig said out loud.

No one could blame him. He was ahead of only one other rider in the Tour de Qazox. His performance shouldn't have come as a surprise since he's a sprinter instead of a long-distance rider. Sarzonians were competing in the Tour for the first time, so having them not anywhere near the top wasn't a total shock.

However, he looked up at the leader board and cringed. There was Noah Carlson in fourth after two stages. Not only that, but he gained a few precious seconds on Cafundelense rider Marina Bellagge. Matt Quinlan, another rider who didn't have the luxury of training full-time the way Carlson did was now in 29th.

What are they doing that I'm not? Whittsig thought. He absentmindedly flipped through the Tour de Qazox program to read the biographies of both Quinlan and Carlson. "Quinlan worked two full-time jobs to save the money necessary to train and trained for three hours per day on weekdays and 12 hours per day on weekends," the program read. "Carlson quit his six-figure job and invested savings into training."

No wonder, Whittsig thought. Carlson had the time because he made the time. Whittsig couldn't even afford a coach to train him for the lengthy competition, so he had to make do with what he had. It might help him a little on the sprint stages, but in the mountains was a different issue. Besides that, he also had to deal with the vagaries of the length. After the prologue and the first two stages, Whittsig was already feeling beat up.

"Where's that Demerol?" he asked.

"You can't take it," the Sarzonian team trainer said. "It's on the banned substances list."

"Any pain meds I can take?"

"Um, there's this."

"What is it?" The trainer tossed it to Whittsig, who groaned as soon as he saw the label.

Children's Tylenol.

Fuck.

Rp cutoff

TOUR de QAZOX STAGE RESULTS
Day 4 Stage 3 Monroeville to Saint Nash- 119.0 miles


The Overall Leader will be in BLUE through out the TOUR, and the Climb/Sprint Leaders will be in RED/GREEN (respectively) through out as well. The Stage Winner will be in BOLD (Stage Results only) and the Defending Champion will be in BOLD ITALICS in both sets of standings.


1- Daithí Meallán (SNO) 3hr:48min:21sec
2- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +0:02 sec
3- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:03 sec
4- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:05 sec
5- Ross Barello (KRY) +0:07 sec
6- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:10 sec
7- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +0:11 sec
8- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +0:12 sec
9- Anthony Barker (PEI) +0:15 sec
10- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +0:21 sec
11- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:22 sec
12- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:25 sec
13- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +0:26 sec
14- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +0:30 sec
15- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +0:34 sec
16- Kevin Peters (NEW) +0:35 sec
17- Jan de Wit (NTH) +0:36 sec
18- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:40 sec
19- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +0:41 sec
20- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +0:42 sec
21- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +0:49 sec
22- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:50 sec
23- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +0:51 sec
24- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +0:52 sec
25- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +0:55 sec
26- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +0:56 sec
27- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +0:57 sec
28- John Nathaniel (QZX) +1:00 sec
29- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +1:04 sec
30- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +1:05 sec
31- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +1:06 sec
32- Katie Skiff (CSS) +1:07 sec
33- Michael Albertse (NTH) +1:08 sec
34- Elmo McBain (KPL) +1:11 sec
35- Daniel Borges (IGA) +1:12 sec
36- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +1:15 sec
37- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +1:16 sec
39- João Machado (IGA) +1:17 sec
36- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +1:20 sec
40- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +1:21 sec
41- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +1:25 sec
42- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +1:26 sec
43- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +1:27 sec
44- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +1:28 sec
45- Mariano José (IGA) +1:32 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS

1- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 14hr:38min:54sec
2- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:03 sec
3- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:07 sec
4- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:08 sec
5- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:08 sec
6- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:12 sec
7- Ross Barello (KRY) +0:17 sec
8- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:25 sec
9- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +0:37 sec
10- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +0:38 sec
11- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +0:43 sec
12- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +0:57 sec
13- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +1:05 sec
14- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +1:06 sec
15- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +1:11 sec
16- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +1:20 sec
17- Anthony Barker (PEI) +1:27 sec
18- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +1:30 sec
19- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +1:32 sec
20- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +1:35 sec
21- Kevin Peters (NEW) +1:35 sec
22- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +1:45 sec
23- Jan de Wit (NTH) +1:46 sec
24- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +1:48 sec
25- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +1:51 sec
26- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +2:02 sec
27- Katie Skiff (CSS) +2:06 sec
28- Julius Sundberg QOD) +2:09 sec
29- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +2:14 sec
30- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +2:15 sec
31- João Machado (IGA) +2:17 sec
32- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +2:24 sec
33- John Nathaniel (QZX) +2:29 sec
34- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +2:34 sec
35- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +2:38 sec
36- Michael Albertse (NTH) +2:47 sec
37- Elmo McBain (KPL) +2:48 sec
38- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +2:59 sec
39- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +3:05 sec
40- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +3:08 sec
41- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +3:09 sec
42- Daniel Borges (IGA) +3:29 sec
43- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +3:39 sec
44- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +3:55 sec
45- Mariano José (IGA) +4:40 sec


Sprinter Standings:

1- João Machado (IGA) 10 pts
2- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) 7 pts
3- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 5 pts
4- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) 4 pts
5- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) 3 pts
6- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) 2 pts
7- Katie Skiff (CSS) 1 pt


Climbing Standings: (Ross Barello wears the RED Jersey due to Pipp's wearing of the BLUE Jersey.

1- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 14 pts
2- Ross Barello (KRY) 13 pts
3- Daithí Meallán (SNO) 12 pts
4- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) 9 pts
4- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 9 pts
6- Carlos Pipp (PEI) 3 pts
7- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) 2 pts
7- Jeff McNally (CSS) 2 pts


Up Next: Day 5 Stage 4 Saint Nash to Saxervilla- 183 miles

Preview: The longest stage this year, but due to the flatness of the stage, it can lead to breakaways and some quick times, if the wind blow right. The riders will end at the International Museum of Nautical History on the Public Wharf in SaxerVilla Harbor.

Wiki page here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8

Katie’s Blog

In stage three, we went from Monroeville to Saint Nash, a 119 mile race which had us go downhill significantly in the early segment of the stage, before it’s conclusion through some moderate hills. To do well on a stage like this, you have to be a relatively good climber, but the people who are strictly climbers aren’t necessarily going to dominate, as it calls for some sprinting skill as well early on. My strategy was to get out front and either take the lead, or ride with the lead pack on the downhill portion. This is where I needed to be my strongest since I knew the stage would get tougher. I was able to do this, riding with a lead pack for about 40 miles or so until the climbing really got underway. I was really running very well, in the top 10, until I think it was with about 10 miles or so to go, my right leg really began to cramp up. I had used to much energy early and I was paying the price. Riders soared by me, and I could not do much about it as I was basically limping home. A top-ten start turned into a bottom-fifteen to be precise as I finished 32nd. Michelle Stewart, when she went by me could tell I was in pain and yelled out to me if I was ok. I had just enough time to let her know I would be ok, and I was paying the price for trying to start too aggressively. She ended up being 15 seconds ahead of me at the finish. I thought I would handle the moderate hills better then I did. So now, overall, I find myself in 27th, down by two minutes, and exhausted. Jeff McNally is doing a wonderful job, sitting there in second just three seconds back. He came in 6th place during the stage. Michelle Stewart is 24th overall.

As tired as I might be, I need to make up ground in stage four. It’s my kind of stage, although I am going to have to plan for the 183-mile length. It’s the longest stage, and endurance will play a big part. Part of me wants to get out and charge to the lead again, while another side thinks I should be conservative, and charge late. I asked my coach for advise, and she told me to do the latter. So, we’ll see if I listen!

Stage Three review.

Well, it seems Sandrians can cycle a bit too. For the second stage in a row the three Sandrian riders managed a top ten finish. Most impressive again was Johnny Pipp, who had a great stage -- his second second placing. The winner of the stage was Daithí Meallán, whom Johnny has come to know well in the early stages of this Tour. The second place was enough to raise Johnny in to the coveted blue jersey, although chances are this won't last. Carlos' eighth place was good enough to bring him close to the top ten overall and Anthony Barker continued his strong form -- ninth in the stage and now sitting in 17th place.

While the star of the show is definitely Johnny Pipp, it must be understood that his goal is really the red jersey, which he is also the holder off. An out-and-out climber, he had a terrible start in the prologue and this lack of flat-terrain cycling ability will probably begin to show soon. But for the moment he is the man of the hour and will relish his day in blue, as he should. PCT race director Peter Youllis was quoted as being very happy at the results and a bit surprised too.

Stay tuned as we follow the Sandrian boys through Qazox.

Might as well give one of those customer comments you get with ads if adverts are to be put in my post.

So, "I bought this product. It's been life changing. It gave me a life threatening case of a runny nose!".

sntv.com > SNTV News > Sport > Cycling
Swan rights group slam Sorthern cyclist

Sorthern cyclist Daithí Meallán was yesterday the toast of the nation following an impressive ride which saw him become the first Sortherner to pick up a stage win in the Tour de Qazox. The victory bought large celebrations to the country, with many pundits speculating that the win would have similar effects as Fran Ventoso winning the Olympic Road Race had. Following that race the Sorthern government enacted a law that said all boys born on that day must be named Fran in Ventoso's honour, it is thought that similar motion to name all boys born yesterday Daithí is being rushed through parliament. Today though, Daithí (the original, not any of of the ones born yesterday) is embroiled in a row with the Sorthern Northland Observers of Birds Society (SNOBS) following comments he made in the aftermath of his victory.

Having been asked by a reported how his ability for cycling rather fast up hills came about, Meallán replied, “my trainer keeps a swan, they're scary buggers so when I struggle in training he lets it out and it scares the shit out of me so I up the tempo to get away from it”. Meallán has since claimed that the comments were not serious and he merely made them in a light hearted manner. SNOBS members though failed to see the light hearted nature of the comments with SNOBS spokesman John Farrow claiming, “Daithí Meallán's comments were out of order. We have to fight this prejudice that swans, and other anatidae are out to get us. They're not. They are peace loving creatures and if they harm people it's usually because those people have done something to them in which case the people bloody well deserved what they got.”

Speaking ahead of the Stage 4 sign in, Meallán was clearly unimpressed with the comments from SNOBS saying, “We all know what happened to that young football, he didn't do anything to that goose. And we all saw the chaos that invasion a couple of years back bought. The threat of swans is a huge danger to Sorthern Northland, and John Farrow is being rather snobbish if he can't recognise the danger they pose.”

The incident took another twist following the death of a toddler in Little Clotaire this morning. Early reports indicate that the young child was being taken to school by his mother when a gang of swans surrounded the pair and separated child from mother before viciously pecking the child to death. The grieving mother has since accused SNOBS of lacking a grasp on reality as she told local news reporters, “What threat is a four year old child to a swan? For that group to claim that swans are only a threat if provoked is complete nonsense and I find it hugely insulting.”

Posted on the sports blog He's Had An Absolute Holocaust.

The Tour should be for all, not just the überwealthy!!!!
Posted by LetsLycra

the last few days i have been going over to my neighbour's house to watch the tour de qazox. he gets qspn on the q-dish network, and we watch the tour highlights show in the evening. i'm sure a lot of you read MetaNarrativeFTL's excellent blog post, "A Deconstructivist Analysis of the Tour de Qazoxian Experience". i agree with him that the tdq should be on qbs:I think the refusal of QBS-1 to bid for Tour de Qazox broadcast rights says something very disturbing about the present state of sports media in our country. We are sacrificing interest in our most revered national pastimes in the pursuit of the mistaken interests of global capitalism. It's the ugly side of free trade. Instead of watching cycling, a sport hundreds of thousands of Quodites regularly enjoy, we'll be subjected to a few days of mind-numbing football footage and endless overanalysis of yet another failure of our inevitable national team's failure. (By the way, for my views on the Cup of Harmony, see my post "Gendered Bodies: Purple-Stinging Nellies and the Discourse of Football".)i agree but i want to add that there is something worse than the tdq being on qbs: it forces me to interact with a human being for several hours. i have to speak to my neighbour, and make small talk during the ad breaks. during the winter olympics i didn't leave my parents' basement for 2 straight months, until i developed a processed corn chip-induced scalp condition (and missed the ice hockey final, thanks a lot, Marco Snacko Munchables).

sure if i was rich i could afford foreign cable and watch all the tour i wanted without leaving my bed, but until my webcomic starts paying its own way i have to endure several hours of upright posture per day. as such, i am going to ask everyone on HHAAH to respond to the president's Twatter account asking that in future the tdq should be available on free television.

RP Cutoff is now!

TOUR de QAZOX STAGE RESULTS
Day 5 Stage 4 Saint Nash to Saxervilla- 183 miles


The Overall Leader will be in BLUE through out the TOUR, and the Climb/Sprint Leaders will be in RED/GREEN (respectively) through out as well. The Stage Winner will be in BOLD (Stage Results only) and the Defending Champion will be in BOLD ITALICS in both sets of standings.


1- Larry Armstrong (TAE) 6hr:05min:11sec
2- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +0:03 sec
3- Daniel Borges (IGA) +0:05 sec
4- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:07 sec
5- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +0:10 sec
6- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:12 sec
7- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:16 sec
8- John Nathaniel (QZX) +0:20 sec
9- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +0:21 sec
10- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +0:23 sec
11- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +0:25 sec
12- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +0:31 sec
12- Michael Albertse (NTH) +0:31 sec
12- Ross Barello (KRY) +0:31 sec
12- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +0:31 sec
16- Kevin Peters (NEW) +0:33 sec
17- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +0:35 sec
18- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +0:36 sec
19- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +0:37 sec
20- Mariano José (IGA) +0:42 sec
20- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +0:42 sec
20- Jan de Wit (NTH) +0:42 sec
23- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:48 sec
23- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:48 sec
23- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +0:48 sec
23- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:48 sec
27- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +0:53 sec
28- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +0:55 sec
29- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +0:56 sec
30- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +0:58 sec
31- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +0:59 sec
32- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +1:08 sec
32- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +1:08 sec
32- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +1:08 sec
32- Elmo McBain (KPL) +1:08 sec
32- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +1:08 sec
32- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +1:08 sec
38- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +1:11 sec
39- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +1:13 sec
40- Anthony Barker (PEI) +1:14 sec
41- Katie Skiff (CSS) +1:17 sec
42- Jeff McNally (CSS) +1:19 sec
43- João Machado (IGA) +1:20 sec
44- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +1:23 sec
45- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +1:25 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS

1- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) 20hr:44min:17sec
2- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:01 sec
3- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:05 sec
4- Ross Barello (KRY) +0:29 sec
5- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +0:34 sec
6- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +0:34 sec
7- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:54 sec
8- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +0:54 sec
9- Jeff McNally (CSS) +1:02 sec
10- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +1:09 sec
11- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +1:12 sec
12- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +1:13 sec
13- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +1:18 sec
14- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +1:34 sec
15- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +1:46 sec
16- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +1:49 sec
17- Kevin Peters (NEW) +1:49 sec
18- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +1:57 sec
19- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +2:05 sec
20- Jan de Wit (NTH) +2:09 sec
21- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +2:11 sec
22- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +2:11 sec
23- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +2:16 sec
24- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +2:17 sec
25- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +2:19 sec
26- Anthony Barker (PEI) +2:22 sec
27- John Nathaniel (QZX) +2:30 sec
28- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +2:38 sec
29- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +2:43 sec
30- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +2:51 sec
31- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +2:58 sec
32- Michael Albertse (NTH) +2:59 sec
33- Katie Skiff (CSS) +3:04 sec
34- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +3:04 sec
35- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +3:13 sec
36- Daniel Borges (IGA) +3:16 sec
37- João Machado (IGA) +3:18 sec
38- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +3:23 sec
39- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +3:23 sec
40- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +3:32 sec
41- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +3:36 sec
42- Elmo McBain (KPL) +3:37 sec
43- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +3:57 sec
44- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +4:59 sec
45- Mariano José (IGA) +5:03 sec


Sprinter Standings:

1- João Machado (IGA) 10 pts
2- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) 7 pts
3- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 5 pts
4- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) 4 pts
5- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) 3 pts
6- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) 2 pts
7- Katie Skiff (CSS) 1 pt


Climbing Standings:

1- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 14 pts
2- Ross Barello (KRY) 13 pts
3- Daithí Meallán (SNO) 12 pts
4- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) 9 pts
4- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 9 pts
6- Carlos Pipp (PEI) 3 pts
7- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) 2 pts
7- Jeff McNally (CSS) 2 pts


Up Next: Day 6: OFF DAY
THEN: Day 7: Saxervilla to Rockport- 119.8 miles

Preview: The most scenic stage of the Tour as riders will ride along the Ocean and the vineyards of southeastern Qazox. A flat stage with two small hills early, but at only 750 feet, they are easily overcome.

Wiki page here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8

Lilian Dazza Greenly with Jeruselem rider Heath Stamforger ...

Dazza: Hello! I'm Lilian Dazza Greenly for Jeruselem Government News. I'm with Team Jeruselem rider, Heath Stamforger who's doing really well so far.
Heath: Hi everyone. And I'm not going like that Quodite who exposed himself in public ...
Dazza: You're the quiet achiever of this tour. You finish in the top 10 of all mountain stages but never win. Yet, you are 1 second off the overall lead.
Heath: Yes, I've been consistent. I've never won a stage actually, ever.

Dazza: Recently you finished 3rd in day 4, stage 3 a mere 3 seconds off the pace and recently, only 12 seconds off the pace today on 6th. That's a good effort.
Heath: Well, I'm no sprinter. I love the hills. The girls hate the hills but me ... it's my job to do well there.
Dazza: Can you win?
Heath: There's plenty of riders who can win this. I'm just one of them ... I'm just in a good place at the moment.

Dazza: Michael Fassbinder, has been in trouble for exposing his male bits. What's your spin?
Heath: I think it was a silly act. If he was on Naked News Jeruselem, it would be OK but he wasn't talking to anyone from Naked News.
Dazza: Would you do the same thing as he?
Heath: No, and ... for me, it's not good look. I'm not the type of guy to get the girls excited.

Dazza: You and Daisy are well positioned, can the team keep up the effort?
Heath: I'm doing well overall and with the climbing and Daist is in with a chance for sprinter's jersey. There's a long way to go, we need to work harder still.
Dazza: What's your secret to being a good mountain rider?
Heath: Actually, it's something a bit weird?

Dazza: Lots of sex?
Heath: I wish ... no, not that. Girls don't go for me. It's actually, cliff climbing.
Dazza: As in scaling up vertical heights?
Heath: Yes, makes one stronger and mentally tougher. Also makes you better at handling heights and makes you fear mountains less.

Dazza: Sounds like quite logical.
Heath: There is the risk of smashing yourself on the ground but then that's mountain climbing for you.
Dazza: Any plans for the future if you don't win this tour.
Heath: I'll just come back again. I'm not much good at much else.

Dazza: Any special inspirons from anyone?
Heath: Mary Sallad, she wasn't the best rider but she tried hard for the team.
Dazza: I miss her too.
Heath: The team want to win something, for Mary's memory.

TOUR DE QAZOX- STAGE 4 REPORT

We have a new reporter now covering the Tour de Qazox. So far, our coverage has been anything but spectacular with errors galore, or at least in the first two issues. We were going to forgive that here at the Rocket Report, until we noticed that our junior reporter failed to report on stage three. This was unacceptable, as after all, we are paying him just over minimum wage to be out there and report on this stuff, but we do also pay his hotel expenses. So when we asked him where his stage 3 report was, his response was not much more then “the dog ate my homework.” Alright buddy, enjoy the unemployment line. His (my) excuse was that he “thought he wrote the report up before he went to bed!” Yeah, a little too much to drink, maybe. Now presenting our next reporter, and this is what was written for stage 4. Enjoy. We hope.

Stage 4 of the prestigious Tour de Qazox was upon us as 45 riders headed from Saint Nash to SaxerVilla. That’s a city that Newmanistanians should be pretty familiar with. When Qazox hosts many other competitions, SaxerVilla is often included as one of the premier destinations on the schedule, and we are sure there have been some great moments for the sky blue and white. It would therefore be a destination that our three riders should have been eager to get to as quick as possible, but the 183 mile trek would not be easy. Our most prestigious rider, Michelle Patrick, rode in the middle of the pack almost all day long. We were wanting to see her finally take off with a burst of speed, but instead she seemed pretty content to ride with the same group for much of the day. Perhaps they were having some pretty gossip amongst one another. Ryan Marshall ran with her in this pack for much of the day, so it was no real surprise to see the two of them finishing one after the other. However, if this had been for something other then 28th and 29th place, then it would have been a more exciting finish. Neither of them had any kind of finishing touch. Patrick so far is struggling, and is beating only four riders in the overall standings as she is 3:36 back, and we doubt that she is thinking to herself that she has the leaders right where she wants them. Don’t count Michelle out from working up the leaderboard to the top 20 or so, but anything more seems to be all over with. Marshall places right at halfway, in 22nd, 2:21 back. The leader of the Keystone Wireless team has been Kevin Peters, who ran much of the day around the 10th to 15th position, before attempting to make a push for the stage win with about 30 miles left. With confidence brewing, Peters pedaled hard and got as high as 3rd with 12 miles remaining. And then, he just couldn’t answer other hard chargers. Peters didn’t wear out necessarily, he just didn’t have enough in the tank to hold off his competitors when they tried to make their moves. Kevin ended up 16th on the day, 33 seconds back. However Peters says that contact from Pedro Alacoa of Lovisa is what spoiled his charge. “Three miles to go, I’m like 7th or so, and Alacoa comes go close to me and we touched, and it nearly made me fall off my bike. I’ll be remembering that if I see him again.” Matt Quinlan of Sarzonia was riding directly behind them at the time, and if not for a nice evasive maneuver from the Sarzonian, this could have led to a pretty nasty pileup.

Now that we have reached SaxerVilla, us sports fans can do some collectible shopping for items from the most recent World Baseball Classic while the riders rest up for the 5th stage, which sends us to another rather familiar city, that of Rockport. It is a flat 119 mile stage, but the riders won’t be paying much attention to the scenic route, especially if Peters has Alacoa in his sights again.

After showing some deft skill in avoiding a pile up, Matt Quinlan was ambling toward his room after a good ride in Stage 4. He was now sitting in 18th place overall, still behind Sarzonia's best rider Noah Carlson, but had put together consecutive strong stages and was now in sight of the top 10.

He watched as the third Sarzonian rider Joe Whittsig hobbled toward the front desk. Whittsig had not been having a good tour. In fact, only Mariano José kept him from having the worst time in the Tour de Qazox. He watched with sympathy as Whittsig could barely move, and in fact, was balancing himself on the wall. He walked over.

"Need a hand, buddy?"

"I'm going to need a hell of a lot more than that," Whittsig said. "Why the fuck did I even sign up for this?"

"The promise of $100,000 for finishing the race?" Quinlan said. Whittsig suddenly glared, thinking Quinlan was flippantly making a joke.

"What the fuck are you on about?"

"Didn't you get the notice from Health and Athletics?"

"What notice?"

"Here," Quinlan said, handing him a copy of the letter. Whittsig looked at its contents intently and his eyes widened.

"Where's the mailroom?" Whittsig asked. "I didn't get this."

"My apologies," a hotel clerk said. "I was supposed to deliver this to you, but I forgot." The clerk handed Whittsig an envelope. He opened it and read the letter. He then handed Quinlan's back to him and grimaced.

"I suppose I can keep this up after all," Whittsig sighed. "I was going to check out and fly back home, but $100,000 could solve a lot of my problems."

"If you finish in the top 20, you could get a bonus of $50,000. Top 10 and you could get another $25,000."

"That's not going to happen for me," Whittsig said. "But perhaps you and Noah could ..."

"Yeah."

"Tell you what," Whittsig said. "If I'm ahead of you in the pack, I'll help you along. Same for Noah. Perhaps if you and he do well, it'll help us out."

"Noah's still in the top 10, but he's lost some ground the last couple days."

"Maybe he's got a good ride in him in tomorrow."

"Tomorrow's the off day."

"Right. Maybe he's got a good ride in him the next day. I'm going to go back to my room to get some rest."

"There's a hot tub near the lobby. Maybe you ought to go there."

"Sounds good."

"...ok, and to close the programme, we have time for a couple of quick interviews. I'm joined by satellite phone by Dr Peaches Gandalfsdottir and Sam Jones, who are both in Qazox watching the Tour. Dr Peaches, did you enjoy yesterday's stage?"

"Oh yes, Alyssa, it was great fun. I prefer the flat stages: it means you can stop and watch the peleton whizz by, then travel down the course and see them again."

"Ok. Sam, are you disappointed by the performances from Team QCS so far?"

"No, I think everyone is hoping they'll do better in the mountains, but in any full-length cycle race it's important to preserve yourself. A few early bumps is no problem, and there are still plenty of enthusiastic Quodite fans lining the roads."

In the back ground there is a big cheer: "Wooo!", "Go Team QCS!", and then a chant of "Sine! Sine! Cosine! Sine! Three point one four one five nine!"

"Dr Peaches, have you been surprised by the poor form of defending champion Danni Nathaniel?"

"A little, yes, I didn't expect her to be so far back. But I'm sure she'll be looking to pick up time in the time trials - that's often where these races are decided."

"One final question for Sam. Realistically, what are the fans out there hoping for?"

"Of course it'd be fantastic to see a stage victory for Team QCS, but this is a big field full of strong riders. Both Raine and Michael have been in the top 10, so it'd be nice if by the Tour's finish one of them could hold onto that. I know they'll both be looking to earn some red jersey points, as well. Above all - we want them all to finish!"

"Thankyou, Dr Peaches Gandalfsdottir and Sam Jones. Now, to Snowborough Stadium, where in ice hockey..."

Five stages down, and Team O'Reilly aren't looking too foolish in the Tour de Qazox just yet. Mountain goat Ambrosio Roiz Múgica is thriving and is eighth, less than a minute off the pace, while Alexander Murton-Smith is solidly in the middle of the pack. Elmo McBain is near the bottom, but is still hoping for a stage win given his sprinting ability.

Team manager Steve Woodbridge says he is 'content' with performances so far. 'It's hard to judge positions at this stage but I know the lads are giving 100%, and they've not made any obvious tactical mistakes. Hopefully they'll be able to continue to compete throughout the Tour, as it's a hugely demanding event.' They'll be helped by a rest day tomorrow, before a broadly flat coastal Stage 7 which will tickle Elmo's fancy.

RP Cutoff
(sorry about the 'lateness', I was bowling and lost track of time...)

TOUR de QAZOX STAGE RESULTS
Day 5 Stage 4 Saint Nash to Saxervilla- 183 milesUp Next: Day 6: OFF DAY

OOC: I thought today was supposed to be an off day.

OOC: I thought today was supposed to be an off day.

OOC: Yeah! All those gutter balls must have thrown him off. Either that or he bowled a 300.

TOUR de QAZOX STAGE RESULTS
Day 7 Stage 5 Saxervilla to Rockport- 119.8 miles

The Overall Leader will be in BLUE through out the TOUR, and the Climb/Sprint Leaders will be in RED/GREEN (respectively) through out as well. The Stage Winner will be in BOLD (Stage Results only) and the Defending Champion will be in BOLD ITALICS in both sets of standings.


1- Eddie Onassis (KRY) 3hr:54min:48sec
2- Mariano José (IGA) +0:15 sec
3- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +0:16 sec
4- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +0:17 sec
5- Michael Albertse (NTH) +0:18 sec
6- Ross Barello (KRY) +0:19 sec
7- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +0:25 sec
8- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +0:26 sec
9- Daniel Borges (IGA) +0:27 sec
10- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +0:28 sec
11- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +0:29 sec
12- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +0:38 sec
13- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +0:39 sec
14- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +0:40 sec
15- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +0:41 sec
16- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +0:42 sec
17- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:43 sec
18- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:44 sec
19- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +0:45 sec
20- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +0:46 sec
21- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +0:47 sec
22- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +0:48 sec
23- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +0:49 sec
24- John Nathaniel (QZX) +1:00 sec
25- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +1:01 sec
26- João Machado (IGA) +1:02 sec
27- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +1:03 sec
28- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +1:04 sec
29- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +1:05 sec
30- Noah Carlson (SAR) +1:06 sec
31- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +1:07 sec
32- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +1:15 sec
33- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +1:16 sec
34- Katie Skiff (CSS) +1:17 sec
35- Kevin Peters (NEW) +1:18 sec
36- Elmo McBain (KPL) +1:19 sec
37- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +1:20 sec
38- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +1:21 sec
39- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +1:25 sec
40- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +1:26 sec
41- Jeff McNally (CSS) +1:29 sec
42- Jan de Wit (NTH) +1:30 sec
43- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +1:31 sec
44- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +1:32 sec
45- Anthony Barker (PEI) +1:35 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS

1- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 24hr:38min:34sec
2- Ross Barello (KRY) +0:04 sec
3- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +0:19 sec
4- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:31 sec
5- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:37 sec
6- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +0:51 sec
7- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +1:06 sec
8- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +1:11 sec
9- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +1:15 sec
10- Noah Carlson (SAR) +1:16 sec
11- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +1:20 sec
12- Jeff McNally (CSS) +1:47 sec
13- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +1:47 sec
14- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +1:49 sec
15- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +1:51 sec
16- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +1:53 sec
17- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +2:00 sec
18- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +2:01 sec
19- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +2:03 sec
20- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +2:11 sec
21- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +2:15 sec
22- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +2:20 sec
23- Kevin Peters (NEW) +2:23 sec
24- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +2:29 sec
25- Michael Albertse (NTH) +2:33 sec
26- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +2:38 sec
27- John Nathaniel (QZX) +2:46 sec
28- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +2:48 sec
29- Jan de Wit (NTH) +2:55 sec
30- Daniel Borges (IGA) +2:59 sec
31- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +3:00 sec
32- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +3:04 sec
33- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +3:10 sec
34- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +3:11 sec
35- Anthony Barker (PEI) +3:13 sec
36- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +3:16 sec
37- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +3:19 sec
38- João Machado (IGA) +3:36 sec
39- Katie Skiff (CSS) +3:37 sec
40- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +3:39 sec
41- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +3:40 sec
42- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +4:02 sec
43- Elmo McBain (KPL) +4:12 sec
44- Mariano José (IGA) +4:34 sec
45- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +5:47 sec


Sprinter Standings:

1- João Machado (IGA) 10 pts
2- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) 7 pts
3- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 5 pts
4- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) 4 pts
5- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) 3 pts
6- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) 2 pts
7- Katie Skiff (CSS) 1 pt


Climbing Standings:

1- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 14 pts
2- Ross Barello (KRY) 13 pts
3- Daithí Meallán (SNO) 12 pts
4- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) 9 pts
4- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 9 pts
6- Carlos Pipp (PEI) 3 pts
7- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) 2 pts
7- Jeff McNally (CSS) 2 pts


Up Next: Day 8: Stage 6: Rockport to Las Vitas- 92.7 miles
Preview: Quite possibly the fastest non-time trial stage, as the majority of the course is on Route 16. A speedster's stage as the Tour moves away from the coast.

Wiki page here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8

OOC: I thought today was supposed to be an off day.

OOC: Yeah! All those gutter balls must have thrown him off. Either that or he bowled a 300.

From a previous posting by me...
OOC2: IMPORTANT NEWS: in the TdQ if there is an off day/travel day on the stage schedule, it doesn't mean there is an RL off day. BUT on the next TWO MONDAYS (April 13th and April 20th) there will be off days, as I have to work late on those two nights. Just forewarning you all.

BTW bowled a 196, after starting with 5 strikes...

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The New Cleethorpes Enquirer
"Shut up and ride" says Secretary of Sport

While nations from around the world are admiring the athletic prowess of their athletes competing in the demanding Tour de Qazox, Quodites appear increasingly concerned with internecine spats as the complex web of myriad arguments between the Quintessential Cycle Federation and Team QCS took yet another bizarre twist as Secretary of Sport, Alfred Cynus, a former winner of the Quintessential Giro, stepped into the breach. After DS Hans Hansen phoned into Talk Sport Gort on QuodFM to angrily react to presenter Alyssa Banana's comments about technical concerns about the riders' bikes, and Michael Fassbinder, who moved into 6th place overall as the Tour resumed after a rest day, launched into yet another lengthy invective about race organization, Secretary Cynus issued a public statement saying, "While it is understandable that riders under high stress conditions react badly to things not running their way, it is less comprehensible to me that they have the spare energy to indulge in all this whining. I think it's time for them to shut up and ride."

Hansen's comments came after Fassbinder lost the wheel of defending champion Danni Nathaniel, who has thus far struggled to maintain her old form, in the closing stages of Stage 5. Finishes thus far have been remarkably split, and Alyssa Banana, speaking on her popular radio show, suggested that Team QCS needed to rethink the design of their front wheels, as they are not allowing riders to slipstream easily enough. "Throughout this Tour, we've seen the unusual phenomenon of flat finishes punctuated by numerous gaps. The peleton seems to completely disintegrate. And while this obviously because under these conditions, with no domestiques, no one wants to lead out, it's also increasingly clear that the riders can't keep to the man - or woman - in front."

In a remarkable turn of events, Hansen then phoned in from Rockport to call Banana's comments "ill-informed and irresponsible". "We use the highest quality, precision-engineered cycles," said Hansen. "They have been exhaustively tested, and for you to suggest we would settle for anything betrays your lack of faith in our national sporting prowess." When asked how he would explain Fassbinder's failure, he hung up.

While Fassbinder himself, who lost only 1 second on Nathaniel, seemed relatively non-plussed by the events, he had found a new source of rage, though fortunately kept himself fully contained during his latest rant. "One day it's flat, then mountains, now we have a long flat run - it doesn't allow the riders to build confidence, and it's putting a huge toll on Julius [Sundberg], who would have hoped to have some sprint opportunities earlier on, before he drains himself staying alive in the mountains." When it was pointed out that the variegated nature of the course in no way differed from previous editions of the Tour, he walked off in a huff, hurling his post-race urine sample at collected sports reporters and offering to "give them another", which they understandably declined. Raine Kauniainen attributed her colleague's anger to "steroids, I mean, stress. Stress, definitely stress. Just look how bloodshot his eyes are: obviously very stressed."

In her first major breakaway of the TdQ, Kauniainen and three other riders led the field for much of the stage as they were chased through beautiful countryside surroundings, but were caught within 10 miles of the finish, after which 11 riders, including Fassbinder, went clear by several seconds. Eddie Onassis of Krytenia dashed off the top to record a comfortable victory, and the blue jersey changed hands yet again, as Jeruselem's Heath Stamforger made up his one-second gap on Cafundelese rider Camargo with ease.

Cyclingdaily.sn
Reporting what's already been reported, daily

Sorthern cycling rocked by teddy smuggling scandal

Following day 7 of the Tour de Qazox Sorthern Cycling has been left to nurse its wounds following revelations that allege that one of its riders is a member of what has been described as an “international teddy bear smuggling ring”.

The allegations come after police in Beningrad carried out a 'daring' night-time raid on Fran Ventoso's house where a “significant quantity of teddy bears bought into the country illegally” were found in the basement. Police are currently trying to work out the nation of origin of the teddy bears as they attempt to shut down the smuggling ring. Illegal teddy bear smuggling has long been a problem for Sorthern Northland and police have worked long and hard in an attempt to crack down on the illegal activity. Until today though, only very small progress had been made, with a handful of small time teddy bear smugglers having been arrested. Beningrad's most senior police officer though has described today's developments as “a significant breakthrough” whilst also praising his officers “tremendous work and dedication to the cause”.

He was also keen to suggest that whilst Ventoso is not currently under arrest, and nor is there a warrant for his arrest when he returns to the country, he remains a person of interest in the case. It is believed that police will request Ventoso make himself available for questioning within a week of the end of the Tour de Qazox or face an international warrant for his arrest. The currant refusal by police to arrest Ventoso is said to be down to a lack of direct evidence linking him to the smuggling ring. It is thought that should such evidence be found, he could be charged with 'illegally smuggling stuffed toys into the country'. If found guilty the charge carries a maximum prison sentence of five years.

Cycling pundits have been quick to link the scandal which is quickly becoming known as 'Teddygate' to Ventoso's poor start to the Tour de Qazox. The Olympic gold medallist is currently sitting in 34th place in the overall standings, some three minutes and eleven seconds behind blue jersey wearer Heath Stamforger of Team Jeruselem. Ventoso has only threatened to impress on one stage so far when he finished 8th in the prologue. Since then he has mainly found himself finishing in the 30's.

Ventoso himself was kept out of site as the news broke with our reporters being told by officials at the team hotel that he was out. Eyewitnesses at the Rockport seafront also reported seeing a man of a drunken appearance who looked like he had a girls name desperately throwing a number of what looked like stuffed donkey like toys into the sea. A small number of stuffed toys was also found washed up on a beach near Saxervilla in the hours after the Tour de Qazox had left Saxervilla for Rockport. Fellow members of the peloton are reported to have said they Ventoso has told them that he is not linked to either incident.

Neither Ventoso or anyone from Sorthern Cycling were available for comment on the events.

RP Cutoff
Tommorrow is the RL off day.... (as will be the next Monday)
as such, RPing counts double until Tuesday at 12:01 am EDT (6:01 UTC?)

TOUR de QAZOX STAGE RESULTS
Day 8: Stage 6: Rockport to Las Vitas- 92.7 miles

The Overall Leader will be in BLUE through out the TOUR, and the Climb/Sprint Leaders will be in RED/GREEN (respectively) through out as well. The Stage Winner will be in BOLD (Stage Results only) and the Defending Champion will be in BOLD ITALICS in both sets of standings.


1- Eddie Onassis (KRY) 2hr:51min:09sec
2- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +0:02 sec
3- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +0:04 sec
4- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +0:05 sec
5- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +0:06 sec
6- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +0:07 sec
7- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +0:08 sec
8- João Machado (IGA) +0:10 sec
9- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +0:23 sec
10- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +0:24 sec
11- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:25 sec
12- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +0:28 sec
13- Michael Albertse (NTH) +0:29 sec
14- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +0:34 sec
15- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:35 sec
16- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +0:36 sec
17- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +0:37 sec
18- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +0:40 sec
19- Katie Skiff (CSS) +0:41 sec
20- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:43 sec
21- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:56 sec
22- Ross Barello (KRY) +0:57 sec
23- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:58 sec
24- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +1:00 sec
25- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +1:04 sec
26- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +1:09 sec
27- Noah Carlson (SAR) +1:10 sec
28- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +1:11 sec
29- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +1:13 sec
30- Elmo McBain (KPL) +1:14 sec
31- Daniel Borges (IGA) +1:20 sec
32- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +1:21 sec
33- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +1:25 sec
34- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +1:26 sec
35- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +1:29 sec
36- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +1:32 sec
37- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +1:33 sec
38- Jeff McNally (CSS) +1:34 sec
39- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +1:36 sec
40- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +1:40 sec
41- John Nathaniel (QZX) +1:41 sec
42- Kevin Peters (NEW) +1:43 sec
43- Jan de Wit (NTH) +1:47 sec
44- Mariano José (IGA) +1:48 sec
45- Anthony Barker (PEI) +1:53 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS

1- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 27hr:30min:36sec
2- Ross Barello (KRY) +0:05 sec
3- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:06 sec
4- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:33 sec
5- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +0:42 sec
6- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +0:44 sec
7- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +0:55 sec
8- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +0:58 sec
9- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +1:15 sec
10- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +1:18 sec
11- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +1:19 sec
12- Noah Carlson (SAR) +1:30 sec
13- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +1:33 sec
14- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +1:35 sec
15- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +1:43 sec
16- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +1:44 sec
17- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +1:47 sec
18- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +1:55 sec
19- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +1:56 sec
20- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +2:06 sec
21- Michael Albertse (NTH) +2:06 sec
22- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +2:10 sec
23- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +2:11 sec
24- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +2:20 sec
25- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +2:24 sec
26- Jeff McNally (CSS) +2:25 sec
27- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +2:31 sec
28- João Machado (IGA) +2:50 sec
29- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +2:53 sec
30- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +2:55 sec
31- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +3:04 sec
32- Kevin Peters (NEW) +3:10 sec
33- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +3:11 sec
34- Jan de Wit (NTH) +3:16 sec
35- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +3:19 sec
36- Katie Skiff (CSS) +3:22 sec
37- Daniel Borges (IGA) +3:23 sec
38- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +3:24 sec
39- John Nathaniel (QZX) +3:31 sec
40- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +3:36 sec
41- Anthony Barker (PEI) +4:10 sec
42- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +4:17 sec
43- Elmo McBain (KPL) +4:30 sec
44- Mariano José (IGA) +5:26 sec
45- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +6:27 sec


Sprinter Standings:

1- João Machado (IGA) 10 pts
2- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) 7 pts
3- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 5 pts
4- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) 4 pts
5- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) 3 pts
6- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) 2 pts
7- Katie Skiff (CSS) 1 pt


Climbing Standings:

1- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 14 pts
2- Ross Barello (KRY) 13 pts
3- Daithí Meallán (SNO) 12 pts
4- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) 9 pts
4- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 9 pts
6- Carlos Pipp (PEI) 3 pts
7- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) 2 pts
7- Jeff McNally (CSS) 2 pts


Up Next: Day 9: Stage 7: Las Vitas to Carlovia- 87.5 miles
Preview: Another day for the speedsters, as the team time trial looms afterwards. This stage does have one tough climb rather early, up to 1200 feet between miles 13 and 18.

Wiki page here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8

Jeruselem Government News

Qaz Daz proves a hit with viewers

Cycling isn't exactly a big drawcard for TV viewers but JGN's Lilian Dazza Greenly is doing her best for the ratings. The Qazian girl with a name sounding like a lovechild of Dazza Dallas and Ryan Greenly, is attracting regular viewers. Following in the footsteps of Dazza Dallas who also covered the Tour de Qazox, she's drawing a new audience to cycling. Lilian who gets called Dazza, looks a bit like Mary Sallad but has the same large breasts like Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas. Her happy dazed look seems attract viewers with her non-Partisan approach to her job.

Lilian was born in Qazox of a Qazian mother, Maggie Greenly, who was a farmer. Lilian's father died in the Qazian civil war and her mother lost the farm. The single mother survived by moving from farm to farm as a nanny taking her girl along with her. When the war was over, she decided to move to Jeruselem as there was nothing left in Qazox she had.

Maggie married a taxi driver in Jeruselem and raised enough money to buy a small farm for the family. Lilian grew up admiring the exploits of one Dazza Dallas and her kids, and changed her own middle to name to Dazza. She applied for traineeship at JGN and proved a very good student. She had learnt well from her hero Dazza and become the new Dazza on TV.

Lilian isn't exactly a Virgin Mary either, she's done guest stints on Naked News Jeruselem and has become friends with Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas meeting via Ryan Greenly, another Qazoxian. She can be seen going for swims on her mother's farm dam to keep fit. Being Qazian, clothes are optional there. Sometimes fellow farmer "Pups" Ferris drops by to help on the Greenly farm.

(Shorter than intended owing to accidentally deleting post.)

The New Cleethorpes Enquirer
Sundberg tests positive for fail

On yet another bizarre day of cycling, with no lead-outs and no peleton, and yet no one falling off the back of the field, Julius Sundberg was humiliated as he battled back into the race after crashing into a muddy field, only to test positive in post-race tests for unusually high amounts of fail. Doctors were quick to rule out the possibility of doping, saying, "Although he exhibits a very high fail count, he probably just really sucks." Nonetheless, the embarrassment will not help with preparations for tomorrow's team trial. Sundberg has consistently placed lower than his Northern colleagues in Team QCS.

http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/6933/bikej.jpg
Sundberg ploughed off Route 16 but later tests showed he had 1093 fail parts per billion

In Stage 6, Krytenia's Eddie Onassis won for the second day running, comfortably beating defending champion Danni Nathaniel in Las Vitas, but his teammate Ross Barello was unable to move past Jeruselem's Heath Stamforger, who retains the blue jersey. Despite poor results today, Fassbinder and Kauniainen moved up, now lying 7th and 8th, still within a minute of the leader, ahead of former champion Bastian Schlager of Lovisa and behind the Sandrian Pipp brothers.

(ooc: Just a reminder, double RP bonus in effect for the next 45 minutes!
Day 9/Stage 7 results up on Tuesday night...)

ooc: in for double RP!

Pipp brothers continue to impress.

Johnny and Carlos Pipp are having a memorable first Tour of Qazox. The brothers sit two seconds apart after six stages with Johnny wearing the coveted Red jersey for climbers. Unfortunately the third member of the team is shit. Anthony Barker is really struggling, languishing in 41st place, over four minutes behind the leader. It appears he will be a real liability in the team time trials which take place very soon. However it must be said Barker is gathering what appears to be a cult following back in Peisandros. It seems Sandrians are feeling sorry for the Delphi rider and are getting right behind him to see if he can possibly improve. Although it is questionable whether any amount of support can help, as he hasn't looked good since a top ten finish two stages ago.

Anyway, stay tuned for continued coverage as we follow the Pipp brothers on their quests for top ten finishes and to see if Johnny can stay in that red jersey.

Lilian Dazza Greenly dressed in something Dazza Dallas used to wear when she was a younger person ...

Hello! I'm Lilian Dazza Greenly for JGN. I'm doing the Team Jeruselem FAQ where you ask the questions. OK, let's get your questions answered!

A lot of girls ask if cyclists make a lot of money from the sport. Well, not really. None of the cyclists ever got rich from this sport. If ya want to be rich, become a football player or a whore or something else.

Some guys ask if that Heath guy is Gay because he spends too much time riding up mountains and freezing his nuts off. No, he's not Gay or queer. He's not just like that at all. He'd like girls to be throwing themselves at him like some guys but he's not lucky enough.

A lot of people ask if Daisy has real boobs or not. She assures us they are real and not silicon jobs.

Viewers ask what's the job of Hamish Dallas. He doesn't seem to win things but he isn't here to win the tour. Hamish is here to help out the others, and so doesn't actually look like winner. He's part of the team who sacrifices his ambitions for the others.

A lot of guys ask why the men dress in them tight suits. It's not for looks man! It's for lightness and aerodynamics. Yes they don't give a lot of padding but when you aren't supposed to fall off the bike in the first place.

People watch and think it looks like a lot of hard work. The team assure me is it hard work and closer to legal torture, it's no fun run. Only the best are here. The average Joe or Joeline would not finish the 1st stage, let alone complete the tour.

Some people ask why people do this? It's like asking why people play football or climb mountains. They want to. It's like asking me why I want to be TV reporter.

Men ask why JGN send women to cover cycling and not men. Well, don't ask me! I just do as I'm told here. Probably because good looking women with big boobies attract more attention on TV.

RP CUTOFF
Stage 7 up shortly!

TOUR de QAZOX STAGE RESULTS
Day 9: Stage 7: Las Vitas to Carlovia- 87.5 miles

The Overall Leader will be in BLUE through out the TOUR, and the Climb/Sprint Leaders will be in RED/GREEN (respectively) through out as well. The Stage Winner will be in BOLD (Stage Results only) and the Defending Champion will be in BOLD ITALICS in both sets of standings.


1- Jan de Wit (NTH) 2hr:42min:48sec
2- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:03 sec
3- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:04 sec
4- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:07 sec
5- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +0:10 sec
6- Anthony Barker (PEI) +0:11 sec
7- John Nathaniel (QZX) +0:16 sec
8- Kevin Peters (NEW) +0:17 sec
9- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +0:19 sec
10- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:20 sec
11- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +0:23 sec
12- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +0:24 sec
13- Elmo McBain (KPL) +0:25 sec
14- Katie Skiff (CSS) +0:27 sec
15- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +0:28 sec
16- Mariano José (IGA) +0:30 sec
17- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +0:35 sec
18- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +0:36 sec
19- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +0:39 sec
20- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +0:40 sec
21- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +0:43 sec
22- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:44 sec
23- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +0:47 sec
24- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +0:48 sec
25- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +0:49 sec
26- João Machado (IGA) +0:53 sec
27- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +1:00 sec
28- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +1:03 sec
29- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +1:04 sec
30- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +1:05 sec
31- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +1:06 sec
32- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +1:07 sec
33- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +1:10 sec
34- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +1:20 sec
35- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +1:21 sec
36- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +1:22 sec
37- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +1:25 sec
38- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +1:26 sec
39- Ross Barello (KRY) +1:36 sec
40- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +1:37 sec
41- Michael Albertse (NTH) +1:39 sec
42- Daniel Borges (IGA) +1:45 sec
43- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +1:46 sec
44- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +1:47 sec
45- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +1:53 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS

1- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 30hr:14min:44sec
2- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:17 sec
3- Ross Barello (KRY) +0:21 sec
4- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:31 sec
5- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:32 sec
6- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:34 sec
7- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +0:40 sec
8- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +0:41 sec
9- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +0:42 sec
10- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:42 sec
11- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +0:50 sec
12- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +1:01 sec
13- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +1:03 sec
14- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +1:06 sec
15- Jeff McNally (CSS) +1:08 sec
16- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +1:09 sec
17- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +1:15 sec
18- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +1:36 sec
19- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +1:39 sec
20- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +1:41 sec
21- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +1:47 sec
22- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +1:48 sec
23- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +1:49 sec
24- Jan de Wit (NTH) +1:56 sec
25- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +1:57 sec
26- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +1:58 sec
27- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +2:06 sec
28- Kevin Peters (NEW) +2:07 sec
29- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +2:10 sec
30- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +2:16 sec
31- João Machado (IGA) +2:23 sec
32- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +2:23 sec
33- Michael Albertse (NTH) +2:25 sec
34- John Nathaniel (QZX) +2:27 sec
35- Katie Skiff (CSS) +2:29 sec
36- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +2:40 sec
37- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +2:44 sec
38- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +3:01 sec
39- Anthony Barker (PEI) +3:01 sec
40- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +3:07 sec
41- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +3:13 sec
42- Elmo McBain (KPL) +3:25 sec
43- Daniel Borges (IGA) +3:48 sec
44- Mariano José (IGA) +4:36 sec
45- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +5:35 sec


Sprinter Standings:

1- João Machado (IGA) 10 pts
2- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) 7 pts
3- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 5 pts
4- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) 4 pts
5- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) 3 pts
6- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) 2 pts
7- Katie Skiff (CSS) 1 pt


Climbing Standings:

1- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 14 pts
2- Ross Barello (KRY) 13 pts
3- Daithí Meallán (SNO) 12 pts
4- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) 9 pts
4- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 9 pts
6- Carlos Pipp (PEI) 3 pts
7- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) 2 pts
7- Jeff McNally (CSS) 2 pts


Up Next: Day 10: Stage 8: TEAM TIME TRIAL Carlovia to Carlovia- 49 miles

Preview: The first offical Time trial stage, a team time trial. At the TdQ, all riders from the same team leave at the same time. The time of the FINAL rider of the team is the team's offical time. Teams will leave in 2 minute intervals. The fastest riders from each team will be eligible for Sprinter title points. The course is two laps on Route 16 around Carlovia.

TEAM ORDER:

NETHERTOPIA
SARZONIA
CAFUNDEU
NEWMANISTAN
QUINTESSENCE of DUST
QAZOX
KRYTENIA
JERUSELEM
PEISANDROS
SORTHERN NORTHLAND
TAESHAN
CASSADAIGUA
LOVISA
IGLESIAN ARCHIPELAGO
KURA-PELLAND



Wiki page here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8

Jeruselem Government News

Jeruselem cyclists being underpaid says researchers

Sports researchers say the members of Team Jeruselem are overworked and underpaid. Team members are still on the same pay as the Tour de Qazox 6, while some of the management have had pay increases recently.

Former Tour de Qazox rider Mary Sallad retired after the 7th tour, and her job at Naked News Jeruselem was paying 5 times more than she ever received when cycling. Most of the current team struggle with the choice with work and cycling, with cycling not paying all the bills. The senior management of Team Jeruselem at the tour all seem to have flash sports cars while all the riders struggle with cheap cars or scooters. Even trainee reporter Lilian Dazza Greenly gets paid more than the team members, which does not include her travel allowances in Qazox.

Management of Team Jeruselem declined to comment on the matter. The team laundry girl who washes the team's clothes said "I get more than the poor riders. I just wash clothes!". The team don't stay in 4 or 5 star hotels like people expect, they get rather basic 3 star motels while visiting managers stay in better places. Sometimes the team have to make to with recycled or 2nd hand equipment because new stuff hasn't been ordered which is a sad thing for such a high profile cycling team.

Former Tour de Qazox winner Kylie Kool said
"The pay wasn't too good. I mean I won the Tour and came 2nd, and yet I didn't get my cut of the winnings. My sister Kara didn't take up cycling because the pay was so bad, football was the better option."

Former Tour de Qazox reporter, "The Bike" Dallas said
"Dallas Enterprises always sponsors the team but it seems we don't seem to have got our riders a decent pay. I don't run the cycling but if I was in charge, they'd be treated a lot better. Team members were always borrowing money off me for different things. They really shouldn't have to stuff like that."

JGN reporter Lilian Dazza Greenly said
"The poor riders don't seem to have a lot of cash. Hamish is OK because he's a Dallas so the family take of him but the others seem to have lots of trouble with spending money which explains why he doesn't go out very often."

Anthony Barker -- Hero?

It appears a bit of support can do wonders. The rider from Peisandros who was just meant to make up the numbers has shown that he can infact ride a bicycle competitively! In one of the few stages that was shown live on free-to-air television in Peisandros, the Delphi rider Anthony Barker upstaged both the Pipp brothers with an inspiring ride -- ending up a creditable 6th, eleven seconds behind stage winner Jan de Wit. While having a tour that no professional athlete would be proud of to date, it seems Sandrian goodwill and pity can help those in need.

Anthony Barker created somewhat of a cult following in Peisandros after struggling so much in the early parts of the tour. This man needed support, and by golly the people were going to give it to him! After stage four which saw him finish in 40th place, the movement began in earnest. It moved extremely quickly at first on social networking sites. Teenagers saw the need for this poor man to have support and groups were popping up all over the internet. "Anthony Barker - A True Sandrian" and "Barker to win the Tour!" were a couple of the most popular. Then the following day, which was an off day for the Tour, the story spread to a few major bloggers who got in behind Barker. The word was really getting out now. Popular columnists gave a few sentences to the new trend. However it wasn't until his last placing in the 5th stage that he became (in)famous.

News agencies quickly got behind the story. A picture of Barker appeared on the back page of The Olympian and he made the third page in his hometown's Delphi Star. When on day 8 of the Tour Barker again finished last, his story hit television. All the major channels ran pieces on the struggling rider with pictures of him in agony crossing the line one minute and fifty three seconds behind the winner of the stage and a whole five seconds behind the 2nd to last rider. There was coverage of packed out pubs all distraught at seeing their new favourite rider bringing up the rear. Sports channel PSS were astonished at the support coming for Barker and immediately set about getting coverage for the upcoming seventh stage, which they secured without much hassle.

An amazing 29% of Sandrians (with televisions) tuned in to watch Anthony Barker ride for 87.5 miles in Qazox, the 7th stage. What they saw was magical. You see Barker was not at all oblivious to the support he had been getting from home. As soon as it hit the internet after stage four, his younger brother Louis had emailed him a few of the details and continued to update older brother Anthony as it progressed on the off day. He went out a determined man in stage five, a bit embarrassed by the whole situation. However he pushed too hard and left nothing in the tank -- last place. Again brother Louis gave him links to the online newspaper articles and again Anthony was a determined man on stage six. The result was the same though and the embarrassment continued. When Louis forwarded him PeiClipTube footage of the TV news, Barker accepted the support for what it was and was no longer embarrassed. He went out knowing that Peisandros would be watching and cheering for him. The rest, so they say, his history.

Upon completing the stage in what turned out to be a tight race for 5th and 6th, Barker did two things. He looked back to see John Nathaniel and the rest of the pack behind him. Then he put his head down and smiled. It was 6th and it was a damn good achievement.

After a very bad day for Sarzonian riders, it seemed as though Noah Carlson was sliding toward mediocrity. Joe Whittsig had just seized last place for his fading efforts at keeping up with riders who actually train for these long distances.

However, Stage 7 proved to be a very good day to be a Sarzonian. Not only did Carlson finish fourth in the stage, he sliced a full minute 13 seconds off overall leader Heath Stamforger's margin. Now Carlson rests just 17 seconds off Stamforger's time, in second place.

Even cellar dwelling Whittsig had a good stage, shaving 52 seconds off the 6 minute, 27 second gap between himself and Stamforger. Even though Whittsig is still in last place, five minutes, 35 seconds at least has a positive psychological impact on Whittsig.

As for Matt Quinlan, he finished third of the three Sarzonians, but he even chopped 20 seconds off the time difference. He is now 2:44 behind, currently in 37th place.

SNN reports that television networks in Sarzonia have seen a slight increase in ratings for the Tour de Qazox at this stage compared to when the tournament began. The Department of Health and Athletics reported an increase in sponsorship inquiries by Sarzonian business ventures, and a spokesman for Vice President Carter Marshall said the department would allocate "a minimum" of $500,000 to start a cycling federation.

For those who are interested, This Bike Is a Pipe Bomb (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_Bike_Is_a_Pipe_Bomb).

The New Cleethorpes Enquirer
Ok, some shit just blew up: now we've got a race

Tepid domestic following of the Tour de Qazox last night exploded - along with Julius Sundberg's bicycle. In dramatic finish line scenes, he crossed in 5th place, by far his best result in what has been a disappointing Tour for the Rahlia-based cyclist, only to have his bike confiscated and subjected to a controlled explosion over fears it was a bomb threat. Although Sundberg will be able to use one of the plethora of reserve bikes for tomorrow's team trial, he was understandably irate at the situation. "I just rode a race on that thing. Do you honestly think I'd wrap my thighs around a bomb just for kicks?

The confusion arose because of Sundberg's addition of a sticker to the bicycle, bearing the name of popular Quodite folk act, "This Bike Is a Sun-Destroying Mega Robot With Nukes In Its Eyes". (Yes, I suppose the lettering was quite small, smartarse.) During the race, the sticker was in plain sight when Sundberg stopped to take a quick slash after taking on litres of water under the hot sun on the route into Carlovia, and onlookers unfamiliar with the band assumed it was some form of sinister warning. One terrified spectator reported, "When he came over in 5th and threw away his water bottle, I thought, oh no, it's on. Here comes the robot." She later reported she was actually "a bit disappointed" not to have personally witnessed the obliteration of the Earth's core by the mechanical terror-spawn of a middle-rate cycling enthusiast. Another spectator said, "Woah! Did you see that? They just totally blew some shit up!"

Neither Michael Fassbinder nor Raine Kauniainen will be looking forward to tomorrow's team trial, and the difficulties many riders have encountered in slipstreaming in the small field will only add to the now formidable pressure on them. The fear of having their bicycles remotely detonated may well number as one of their lesser concerns. However, both cycled well enough today to remain within a minute of leader Heath Stamforger, whose third day in blue saw him open up a sizeable advantage over surprise second place, Sarzonian Noah Carlson.

RP cutoff

TOUR de QAZOX STAGE RESULTS
Day 10: Stage 8: TEAM TIME TRIAL Carlovia to Carlovia- 49 miles.


The Overall Leader will be in BLUE through out the TOUR, and the Climb/Sprint Leaders will be in RED/GREEN (respectively) through out as well. The Stage Winner will be in BOLD (Stage Results only) and the Defending Champion will be in BOLD ITALICS in both sets of standings.


1- Qazox 1hr:20min:05sec
2- Sorthern Northland +0:23 sec
3- Cassadaigua +0:38 sec
4- Jeruselem +0:50 sec
5- Cafundeu +0:58 sec
6- Newmanistan +1:07 sec
7- Sarzonia +1:23 sec
8- Peisandros +1:33 sec
9- Iglesian Archipelago +1:34 sec
10- Kura-Pelland +1:37 sec
11- Krytenia +1:43 sec
12- Quintessence of Dust +1:51 sec
13- Nethertopia +2:04 sec
14- Lovisa +2:09 sec
15- Taeshan +2:18 sec



OVERALL STANDINGS

1- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 31hr:35min:39sec
2- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:05 sec
3- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:16 sec
4- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:39 sec
5- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:40 sec
6- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:42 sec
7- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:43 sec
8- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:56 sec
9- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +1:07 sec
10- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +1:12 sec
11- Ross Barello (KRY) +1:14 sec
12- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +1:23 sec
13- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +1:31 sec
14- John Nathaniel (QZX) +1:37 sec
15- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +1:42 sec
16- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +1:49 sec
17- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +1:50 sec
18- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +1:52 sec
19- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +2:01 sec
20- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +2:02 sec
21- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +2:04 sec
22- Katie Skiff (CSS) +2:17 sec
23- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +2:18 sec
24- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +2:18 sec
25- Kevin Peters (NEW) +2:24 sec
26- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +2:28 sec
27- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +2:34 sec
28- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +2:40 sec
29- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +2:59 sec
30- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +3:04 sec
31- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +3:06 sec
32- João Machado (IGA) +3:07 sec
33- Jan de Wit (NTH) +3:10 sec
34- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +3:16 sec
35- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +3:17 sec
36- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +3:30 sec
37- Michael Albertse (NTH) +3:39 sec
38- Anthony Barker (PEI) +3:44 sec
39- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +3:54 sec
40- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +3:54 sec
41- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +4:08 sec
42- Elmo McBain (KPL) +4:12 sec
43- Daniel Borges (IGA) +4:32 sec
44- Mariano José (IGA) +5:20 sec
45- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +6:08 sec


Sprinter Standings:

1- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) 13 pts
2- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 12 pts
3- João Machado (IGA) 10 pts
4- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) 7 pts
5- Katie Skiff (CSS) 6 pts
6- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) 5 pts
7- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) 4 pts
8- Noah Carlson (SAR) 2 pts
9- Michelle Patrick (NEW)


Climbing Standings:

1- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 14 pts
2- Ross Barello (KRY) 13 pts
3- Daithí Meallán (SNO) 12 pts
4- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) 9 pts
4- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 9 pts
6- Carlos Pipp (PEI) 3 pts
7- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) 2 pts
7- Jeff McNally (CSS) 2 pts


Up Next: Day 11: Stage 9: Carlovia to Gothika- 72.6 miles

Preview: A very different change of pace, as this stage while short, is difficult, as riders will travel on forested bike paths in the Hendo Memorial Forest, for the first 29 miles. The remainder of the stage follows Route 16 north to Gothika, where the mountain stages will begin.


Wiki page here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8

Heath: What's this new thing about not having other people in one's room.
Daisy: I guess it's to stop us talking girls or guys back to our room.
Hamish: Yeah, but our rooms have single beds. One can barely use the single bed provided anyway.

Heath: And no using the minibars?
Daisy: Our rooms don't have minibars anyway.
Hamish: Yes, and this shared bathroom thing is getting annoying.

Heath: I don't see why we can't have guests.
Daisy: I guess it's to focus our efforts on the cycling.
Hamish: We're grown ups here ... we're not stupid and there's nothing wrong with having a friend around.

Daisy: What about going to someone else's room?
Heath: Let's see ... that's only allowed if it's cycling related.
Hamish: Gee, can't they trust us. We're not the worst behaved team around here!

Heath: I think we're the most boring team around here.
Daisy: Exactly! We don't get into trouble doing stupid stuff.
Hamish: But that's team rules.

Heath: Is taking to reporters cycling related?
Daisy: You mean talking to that Dazza woman?
Heath: She's the only person who talks to us.

Hamish: That's a good point.
Daisy: What's your cash situation there?
Heath: Me? Paid the part of the home loan and some bills. I'm broke.

Daisy: I need save money to fix my car.
Hamish: I've got plenty of money ...
Heath: But your family is worth billions, we don't have such luck.

Hamish: Anyone need money?
Heath: I already owe Dazza money, I don't need any more debt.
Daisy: I'll be OK. For now.

Heath: That's the team meeting then. How come senior management never turn up?
Daisy: It's Happy Hour about now at the local bars.
Heath: And we miss out.

Hamish: I'm sure that Dazza woman is getting drunk and picking some guy up.
Heath: I'm sure there's a lot of riders around here who like to do that.
Hamish: Nice girl she is. Heath, you did rather well in the time trial today.

Heath: Yes, last time I nearly came last or something.
Daisy: We all did well, but I didn't get any more points for sprinting.
Hamish: Yes, last time we did this - it was bit of disaster.

Daisy: Heath, why don't you ask Dazza out?
Heath: Me? I'm too old for her ...
Hamish: No harm in asking.

Heath: She deserves better than a has-been cyclist like me.
Daisy: Don't put yourself down like that!
Hamish: I'm a Dallas, I think it's not too late.

"...ok, and now, cycling. Yesterday's team trial was an inglorious affair for Team QCS, who finished in 12th. Defending champion Danni Nathaniel of Qazox actually succeeded in 'lapping' trailer Michael Fassbinder despite the two-minute stagger. The 111 second hit saw all three riders slip in the rankings, with Raine Kauniainen tumbing from 8th to 15th. As they prepare for the stage to Gothika, the riders will have to adapt to unusual deviation from the road surfaces they've been training on. It's likely to be yet another hard day for the Quodite cyclists. I'm joined by Bedonking te Tonking, executive director of the Quintessential Cycle Federation. Mr te Tonking, are Team QCS out of their depth?"

"Well, first Alyssa, it's a pleasure to be back. No, they're not, but they are riding against a number of experienced athletes, and I think it's clear preparations for this Tour failed to take into account its very different nature from the Giro."

"Could you expand?"

"We weren't expecting such variation in stage types. Typically it's flat, then mountains, not all mixed in; the prologue was incredibly long; and the exclusion of domestiques is making things very hard for the climbers on the flat. Perhaps we should have rethought tactics, but I don't think it's a problem with the riders' physical or technical preparation."

"Can you comment on future Quodite participation in the TdQ?"

"No. But it is unlikely Hans Hansen will be removed as DS; he's done a good job for the last few years."

"What about the behaviour of the Quodite athletes?"

"Sure, exploding bicycles and public nudity and hitting children aren't spectacles we wanted to see..."

"Hitting children?"

"Huh? Oh. Of course. I can categorically deny that any Quodite children have furiously beaten children who, say, got in their way at the refuelling station. But even if they had...it's not something we will terminate their contracts. We expect better behaviour in future, of course."

"Finally, Mr te Tonking, hopes for the finish?"

"If all three riders finish, that'll be enough for us. But then it'll be back to the drawing board."

"Thank you. Coming up next on Talk Sport Gort, an interview with the rowing team that won gold at the Splash Splash Watersports Regatta/Erotica Display last week..."

RP Cutoff is Now.

TOUR de QAZOX STAGE RESULTS
Day 11: Stage 9: Carlovia to Gothika- 72.6 miles

The Overall Leader will be in BLUE through out the TOUR, and the Climb/Sprint Leaders will be in RED/GREEN (respectively) through out as well. The Stage Winner will be in BOLD (Stage Results only) and the Defending Champion will be in BOLD ITALICS in both sets of standings.


1- Julius Sundberg (QOD) 2hr:13min:00sec
2- Katie Skiff (CSS) +0:08 sec
3- Elmo McBain (KPL) +0:10 sec
4- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +0:14 sec
5- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +0:16 sec
6- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +0:19 sec
7- João Machado (IGA) +0:20 sec
8- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +0:23 sec
9- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +0:25 sec
10- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +0:27 sec
11- Mariano José (IGA) +0:28 sec
12- Jan de Wit (NTH) +0:34 sec
13- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:35 sec
14- John Nathaniel (QZX) +0:36 sec
15- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +0:37 sec
16- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +0:39 sec
17- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:50 sec
18- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:52 sec
19- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +0:56 sec
20- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +1:00 sec
21- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +1:05 sec
22- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +1:06 sec
23- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +1:07 sec
24- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +1:08 sec
25- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +1:12 sec
26- Anthony Barker (PEI) +1:21 sec
27- Kevin Peters (NEW) +1:26 sec
28- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +1:31 sec
29- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +1:34 sec
30- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +1:35 sec
31- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +1:38 sec
32- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +1:41 sec
33- Michael Albertse (NTH) +1:42 sec
34- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +1:43 sec
35- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +1:45 sec
36- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +1:49 sec
37- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +1:50 sec
38- Daniel Borges (IGA) +1:52 sec
39- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +1:56 sec
40- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +2:00 sec
41- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +2:02 sec
42- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +2:03 sec
43- Ross Barello (KRY) +2:08 sec
44- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +2:09 sec
45- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +2:10 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS

1- Marina Bellagge (CAF) 33hr:49min:53sec
2- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:14 sec
3- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +0:39 sec
4- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:40 sec
5- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +0:40 sec
6- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +0:53 sec
7- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:54 sec
8- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +1:00 sec
9- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +1:11 sec
10- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +1:13 sec
11- John Nathaniel (QZX) +1:21 sec
12- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +1:23 sec
13- Katie Skiff (CSS) +1:33 sec
14- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +1:51 sec
15- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +1:53 sec
16- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +2:11 sec
17- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +2:19 sec
18- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +2:29 sec
19- Ross Barello (KRY) +2:30 sec
20- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +2:33 sec
21- João Machado (IGA) +2:35 sec
22- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +2:43 sec
23- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +2:44 sec
24- Jan de Wit (NTH) +2:52 sec
25- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +2:58 sec
26- Kevin Peters (NEW) +2:58 sec
27- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +3:06 sec
28- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +3:09 sec
29- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +3:10 sec
30- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +3:13 sec
31- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +3:16 sec
32- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +3:17 sec
33- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +3:19 sec
34- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +3:25 sec
35- Elmo McBain (KPL) +3:30 sec
36- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +3:39 sec
37- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +3:42 sec
38- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +3:55 sec
39- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +4:05 sec
40- Anthony Barker (PEI) +4:13 sec
41- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +4:15 sec
42- Michael Albertse (NTH) +4:22 sec
43- Mariano José (IGA) +4:56 sec
44- Daniel Borges (IGA) +5:32 sec
45- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +6:28 sec


Sprinter Standings:

1- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) 13 pts
2- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 12 pts
3- João Machado (IGA) 10 pts
4- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) 7 pts
5- Katie Skiff (CSS) 6 pts
6- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) 5 pts
7- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) 4 pts
8- Noah Carlson (SAR) 2 pts
9- Michelle Patrick (NEW)


Climbing Standings:

1- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 14 pts
2- Ross Barello (KRY) 13 pts
3- Daithí Meallán (SNO) 12 pts
4- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) 9 pts
4- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 9 pts
6- Carlos Pipp (PEI) 3 pts
7- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) 2 pts
7- Jeff McNally (CSS) 2 pts


Up Next: Day 12: Stage 10: Gothika to Lorax City- 83.9 miles

Preview: The beginning of the real mountain stages, as riders will have climbed over 4500 feet by the end of this short stage. While no particular portion is difficult, due to the length of this stage and the height of the climb, it is overall; the most difficult stage in this year's Tour.


Wiki page here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8

The New Cleethorpes Enquirer
Bellagge reclaims blue jersey as Sundberg wins maiden stage

Quodite speedster Julius Sundberg atoned for a thus-far disappointing Tour de Qazox in which he slipped into the bottom 5 ranked riders and tested positive for fail after crashing in Stage 6 by winning the Tour's 9th stage on the halfway day, becoming the first Quodite rider to win a stage. Sundberg won two stages of the 2008 Giro, but has struggled to adjust to conditions in Qazox. It was another bad day for his teammates, though, both of whom cycled conservatively on the non-road track at the start, and failed to make up the time on the lead group at the end, sliding further out of contention.

The Tour is yet to see a regulation finish, and this Stage was no different. Incredibly, not a single rider managed to stick to a wheel, something usually unseen in professional cycling. Speaking afterwards, Sundberg said he doubted technical problems explained the phenomenon, but admitted he did not why it was happening. "Clearly, it's not just a problem for [Team QCS]," he said. He put his stage victory down to his determination to make up for "poor form thus far" and said he had "struggled" without his leadout men from the Rahlia Racing Club.

Today he abandoned hopes of a sprint victory, instead peeling off the lead group within 4km of the finish and holding out for a reasonably comfortable margin of victory. But he will not be looking to tomorrow's stage, which sees the riders face a 4500ft climb into the Lorax City, possibly the only stage with a Hors Catégorie-equivalence slope. Hans Hansen, Directeur Sportif of Team QCS, said that, "Undoubtedly this will be a mega-challenge and we expect to start seeing eliminations. It's very impressive that no one has dropped out thus far, and we hope our cyclists stay within the limit. This is the one they've been preparing for." He added that he was uncertain whether intermediary climb points would be available.

Jeruselem's Heath Stamforger had a terrible day, dropping 2 minutes over the short distance and yielding the blue jersey to Cafundeu's Marine Bellagge, who had worn the jersey on Day 3.

Lilian Dazza Greenly with Daisy Cartwheeler ...

Dazza: What's wrong Daisy? You don't seem very focussed on anything.
Daisy: Someone ran over my dog at home ...
Dazza: Poor doggy, what happened?
Daisy: Mum was walking my dog and some idiot flattened the dog ... and nearly ran over Mum as well.

Dazza: Is the dog dead?
Daisy: Two tonne car vs small dog ... there was only one winner.
Dazza: Getting a new dog?
Daisy: Have to fix the damn car first

Dazza: No wonder you weren't doing too well today.
Daisy: Yes, I could have done better if I didn't have so many distractions.
Dazza: Hamish is getting better all the time
Daisy: Yeah, he's our best ranked rider now. But Heath should well next stage.

Dazza: Heath didn't have a great day today.
Daisy: Well, it wasn't for the slow people. It was the sprinting type like me.
Dazza: Not the team best day was it?
Daisy: No, not really. Helps if we didn't run out of spare tires today.

Dazza: That's pretty shoddy stuff ...
Daisy: It's fine with a slow stage but not one like this one was.
Dazza: Is is true you lot get paid less than the laundry person?
Daisy: Sort of, she doesn't get any bonuses but her base salary is better than ours.

Dazza: Still, she does a great job.
Daisy: Yes, she's good at repairing stuff too. I didn't know she was a retired tailor.
Dazza: I heard someone stole some of your personal clothes out of your hotel.
Daisy: Yeah, that's what happens when you stay in crappy motels.

Dazza: Hopefully, you have insurance or something.
Daisy: Apparently we don't ... not the riders anyway. Heath insurance but not personal contents ...
Dazza: JGN treat me well.
Daisy: Maybe it's time for a new career for me.

RP Cutoff again!

TOUR de QAZOX STAGE RESULTS
Day 12: Stage 10: Gothika to Lorax City- 83.9 miles

The Overall Leader will be in BLUE through out the TOUR, and the Climb/Sprint Leaders will be in RED/GREEN (respectively) through out as well. The Stage Winner will be in BOLD (Stage Results only) and the Defending Champion will be in BOLD ITALICS in both sets of standings.


1- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) 3hr:25min:19sec
2- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +0:01 sec
3- Ross Barello (KRY) +0:02 sec
4- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:03 sec
5- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:04 sec
6- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +0:05 sec
7- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +0:09 sec
8- Anthony Barker (PEI) +0:13 sec
9- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:16 sec
10- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +0:33 sec
11- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +0:34 sec
12- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +0:35 sec
13- Kevin Peters (NEW) +0:38 sec
14- Jan de Wit (NTH) +0:40 sec
15- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:41 sec
16- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +0:42 sec
17- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:58 sec
18- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +1:00 sec
19- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +1:03 sec
20- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +1:04 sec
21- John Nathaniel (QZX) +1:11 sec
22- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +1:12 sec
23- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +1:18 sec
24- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +1:19 sec
25- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +1:20 sec
26- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +1:25 sec
27- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +1:26 sec
28- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +1:27 sec
29- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +1:35 sec
30- Daniel Borges (IGA) +1:36 sec
31- Michael Albertse (NTH) +1:39 sec
32- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +1:40 sec
33- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +1:43 sec
34- Elmo McBain (KPL) +1:44 sec
35- Katie Skiff (CSS) +1:48 sec
36- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +1:57 sec
37- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +1:59 sec
38- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +2:00 sec
39- João Machado (IGA) +2:01 sec
40- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +2:02 sec
41- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +2:10 sec
42- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +2:13 sec
43- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +2:14 sec
44- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +2:17 sec
45- Mariano José (IGA) +2:25 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS

1- Marina Bellagge (CAF) 37hr:16min:10sec
2- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:12 sec
3- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:16 sec
4- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:19 sec
5- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:23 sec
6- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:29 sec
7- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:53 sec
8- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +1:22 sec
9- John Nathaniel (QZX) +1:34 sec
10- Ross Barello (KRY) +1:34 sec
11- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +1:36 sec
12- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +1:37 sec
13- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +1:41 sec
14- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +1:54 sec
15- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +1:56 sec
16- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +2:13 sec
17- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +2:14 sec
18- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +2:16 sec
19- Katie Skiff (CSS) +2:23 sec
20- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +2:32 sec
21- Jan de Wit (NTH) +2:34 sec
22- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +2:35 sec
23- Kevin Peters (NEW) +2:38 sec
24- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +2:42 sec
25- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +2:47 sec
26- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +2:50 sec
27- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +3:08 sec
28- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +3:15 sec
29- Anthony Barker (PEI) +3:28 sec
30- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +3:30 sec
31- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +3:33 sec
32- João Machado (IGA) +3:38 sec
33- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +3:43 sec
34- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +3:50 sec
35- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +4:08 sec
36- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +4:16 sec
37- Elmo McBain (KPL) +4:16 sec
38- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +4:32 sec
39- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +4:44 sec
40- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +4:47 sec
41- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +4:54 sec
42- Michael Albertse (NTH) +5:03 sec
43- Daniel Borges (IGA) +6:10 sec
44- Mariano José (IGA) +6:23 sec
45- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +7:32 sec


Sprinter Standings:

1- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) 13 pts
2- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 12 pts
3- João Machado (IGA) 10 pts
4- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) 7 pts
5- Katie Skiff (CSS) 6 pts
6- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) 5 pts
7- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) 4 pts
8- Noah Carlson (SAR) 2 pts
9- Michelle Patrick (NEW)


Climbing Standings:

1- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) 19 pts
2- Ross Barello (KRY) 18 pts
3- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 16 pts
4- Daithí Meallán (SNO) 15 pts
5- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 13 pts
6- Carlos Pipp (PEI) 10 pts
7- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) 3 pts
8- Jeff McNally (CSS) 2 pts


Up Next: Day 13: Stage 11: INDIVIDUAL TIME TRIAL- Lorax City to Lorax City- 42 miles

Preview: Riders will leave in inverse order of current standings, meaning the last-placed rider will leave first, and the leader last. Riders will leave in 1 minute intervals. As for the course, it is 7 laps of 6 miles around downtown Lorax City, beginning and ending at Lorax City Hall.


Wiki page here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8

BELLAGE STILL WITH SURPRISING LEAD; CAMARGO ON TOP OF CLIMBERS

After so many days passed in this edition of the Tour of Qazox, the Cafundelenses continue in very good positions and situations, making all our population proud of the Martínez apprentices. Remember that Marina Bellage was leading the Tour in our last report? Yes, a lot of days have passed, she lost the lead, but now she has recovered it, and seems ready to really be a contender for the title, something few people would believe before the start of the Tour. She was seen as inexperienced and not ready for such a big event, but she proved the critics wrong and is now respected, and also has won many admirers around the world. With good results in both climbing and sprinting stages, she is deserving the blue jersey right now.

But the Cafundelense team isn't only composed by Bellage. There is Sérgio Alvarenga Borges, participating in his third Tour if this humble journalist remembers correctly. Unfortunately he wasn't able to do great so far, and isn't among the top riders (it wasn't really expected for him to be), although he has a few points in the sprinter standings (he expected more). And what about Leonardo Camargo? Well, Camargo even had the blue jersey at a stage of the Tour, but lost it. Anyway, he is still in the battle for the title, although some time behind his team mate. The good point about Camargo's performance is that he currently leads the climbing standings by one point, this thanks to his victory in the last stage of the competition.

Posted on QBS Tour website, qbs.qd/sport/tdq.

Team QCS in seventh after average day in the mountains

A disappointing experience for the Quodite riders on what must rank as one of the most bizarre mountain stages in competitive cycling history left all three needing to seriously improve in the next individual time trial in order to claw back time on the Cafundelese rider Marine Bellagge, who retained the blue jersey on a day her colleague, Leonardo Camargo, won the Lorax City stage and claimed first place in the red jersey rankings.

The 4500ft climb not only failed to eliminate a single rider, but seemed not even to tax the sprinters: the losing rider was less than 150 seconds off the lead. "Certainly, I've never seen anything like it before," said Team QCS Directeur Sportif Hans Hansen. "Perhaps the gradient was shallower than we'd anticipated - not even 5%, can't really call that a climb - but even so the results are absolutely remarkable. I doubt you'd see that sort of field finish in any other race in the world. This Tour is just proving to be yet more confusion after another for us."

Team QCS are ranked 7th overall at the halfway point. Sorthern Northland lead Qazox by just 2 seconds and Jeruselem by 5, and Team QCS have almost a minute on Lovisa, the team of former blue jersey winner Bastian Schlager. Predictably enough, Iglesian Archipelago are comfortably behind the rest of the field.

Unofficial QBS team rankings after Stage 10:
SNO 111hr:52min:17sec
QZX +2sec
JRU +5sec
CAF +14sec
CSS +1min:20sec
PEI +3min:33sec
QOD +4min:51sec
LOV +5min:48sec
KPL +5min:53sec
NEW +5min:57sec
KRY +7min:25sec
NTH +7min:58sec
SAR +7min:58sec
TAE +8min:7sec
IGA +12min:24sec

(ooc to QoD: No one DNF's the TdQ. and GJ on the team rankings. (i've never thought to try to do that...)

(ooc to QoD: No one DNF's the TdQ. and GJ on the team rankings. (i've never thought to try to do that...)
OOC: Ok, sorry, didn't realize there weren't eliminations.

OOC: Ok, sorry, didn't realize there weren't eliminations.

(OOC: I'd thought about it, but decided it wasn't fair to everyone involved, unless someone RP'd that a rider had dropped out. As for the "confusion" Figure the RL Tour de France starts with about 200 riders compared to the 35 (average) of the TdQ... Since there are fewer riders in the pelaton, the odds of a true 'breakaway' are slim to none in the TdQ, that and where's the excitement of having someone win a stage by 3 minutes?)

(OOC: I'd thought about it, but decided it wasn't fair to everyone involved, unless someone RP'd that a rider had dropped out. As for the "confusion" Figure the RL Tour de France starts with about 200 riders compared to the 35 (average) of the TdQ... Since there are fewer riders in the pelaton, the odds of a true 'breakaway' are slim to none in the TdQ, that and where's the excitement of having someone win a stage by 3 minutes?)
OOC: No, no, it's ok! I wasn't trying to complain about the results - I was just RPing the results being different from what my riders (who are used to peleton environments) expected. Sorry if you took offence; I'm very glad someone's simming a race as I used to ride for my local club and like watching the Tour every year. My team's gripes are just IC excuses, not OOC bugbears.

Jeruselem Government News

Team Jeruselem get pay rise after sponsors pressure

The riders at the Tour de Qazox got themselves a pay rise today. It wasn't because they asked or because Heath Stamforger is doing well overall with chance of winning, it was because of friends in higher places.

The sponsors of Team Jeruselem, that is Dallas Enterprises, pressured the management to give the riders something after two tours without any pay change. In fact, from Tour de Qazox 6 to 7, the riders coped a pay cut. Two of the riders on the team are struggling with a mortgage and taking extra jobs to sustain their cycling career. The exception is Hamish Dallas who doesn't really need the money as his family are rich.

The team performed well today on day 12, stage 10. Heath Stamforger was 4th, 3 seconds off the pace with Hamish Dallas in 25th and Daisy Cartwheeler in 37th which isn't too bad for a mountain stage. The team face an individual time trial next which suits Daisy more than Heath, but Heath isn't the world's worst time trialler either.

Hamish had a fall today but got back on his bike and tried to regain some time. He would have a lot better if he hadn't fallen. Later JGN's Lilian Dazza Greenly fussed over him like a sister.

The team welcomed their pay rise but said it was already spent with bills when they go home.

Daisy Cartwheeler missed the burial of her dog Shaggy after it was run over by a car. Daisy's Mum did the rights. It was nearly Daisy's Mum burial as the car hit the dog instead of her. The driver of the car is still being hunted down. Princess Marie-Antoinette Dallas has offers to donate a puppy to the Cartwheelers after one of her dogs had five pups. Pups Ferris said she'd donate a nice duck if Daisy wanted a different pet.

Jeruselemites should not confuse Daisy with her sister Maisy, who is an adult movie star. Maisy seems to be making a lot more money than Daisy too.

RP Cutoff (sorry it's late, again, had to drop GF off at work...)

TOUR de QAZOX STAGE RESULTS
Day 13: Stage 11: INDIVIDUAL TIME TRIAL- Lorax City to Lorax City- 42 miles

The Overall Leader will be in BLUE through out the TOUR, and the Climb/Sprint Leaders will be in RED/GREEN (respectively) through out as well. The Stage Winner will be in BOLD (Stage Results only) and the Defending Champion will be in BOLD ITALICS in both sets of standings.


1- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 1hr:08min:49sec
2- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +0:02 sec
3- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +0:03 sec
4- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +0:06 sec
5- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +0:07 sec
6- Daniel Borges (IGA) +0:08 sec
7- Michael Albertse (NTH) +0:10 sec
8- Mariano José (IGA) +0:12 sec
9- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +0:13 sec
10- João Machado (IGA) +0:14 sec
11- Katie Skiff (CSS) +0:31 sec
12- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +0:32 sec
13- Elmo McBain (KPL) +0:46 sec
14- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +0:47 sec
15- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +0:48 sec
16- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:49 sec
17- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:52 sec
18- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +0:53 sec
19- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +0:54 sec
20- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +1:00 sec
21- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +1:01 sec
22- Noah Carlson (SAR) +1:02 sec
23- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +1:03 sec
24- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +1:04 sec
25- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +1:05 sec
26- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +1:12 sec
27- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +1:13 sec
28- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +1:15 sec
29- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +1:16 sec
30- John Nathaniel (QZX) +1:17 sec
31- Jeff McNally (CSS) +1:18 sec
32- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +1:22 sec
33- Jan de Wit (NTH) +1:23 sec
34- Kevin Peters (NEW) +1:27 sec
35- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +1:28 sec
36- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +1:35 sec
37- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +1:36 sec
38- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +1:45 sec
39- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +1:46 sec
40- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +1:47 sec
41- Anthony Barker (PEI) +1:49 sec
42- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +1:57 sec
43- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +1:58 sec
44- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +1:59 sec
45- Ross Barello (KRY) +2:00 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS

1- Marina Bellagge (CAF) 38hr:20min:48sec
2- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:31 sec
3- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:36 sec
4- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:41 sec
5- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +0:52 sec
6- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +1:10 sec
7- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +1:14 sec
8- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +1:20 sec
9- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +1:25 sec
10- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +1:38 sec
11- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +1:39 sec
12- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +1:49 sec
13- John Nathaniel (QZX) +2:02 sec
14- Katie Skiff (CSS) +2:05 sec
15- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +2:26 sec
16- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +2:41 sec
17- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +2:43 sec
18- Ross Barello (KRY) +2:45 sec
19- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +2:45 sec
20- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +2:46 sec
21- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +2:46 sec
22- João Machado (IGA) +3:03 sec
23- Jan de Wit (NTH) +3:08 sec
24- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +3:14 sec
25- Kevin Peters (NEW) +3:16 sec
26- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +3:17 sec
27- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +3:24 sec
28- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +3:28 sec
29- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +3:41 sec
30- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +3:46 sec
31- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +3:47 sec
32- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +3:56 sec
33- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +3:57 sec
34- Elmo McBain (KPL) +4:13 sec
35- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +4:14 sec
36- Anthony Barker (PEI) +4:23 sec
37- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +4:23 sec
38- Michael Albertse (NTH) +4:24 sec
39- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +4:47 sec
40- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +4:56 sec
41- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +5:02 sec
42- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +5:08 sec
43- Daniel Borges (IGA) +5:29 sec
44- Mariano José (IGA) +5:46 sec
45- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +6:50 sec


Sprinter Standings:

1- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 22 pts
2- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) 18 pts
3- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) 11 pts
4- João Machado (IGA) 10 pts
5- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) 9 pts
6- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) 7 pts
7- Katie Skiff (CSS) 6 pts
8- Joe Whittsig (SAR) 3 pts
9- Noah Carlson (SAR) 2 pts
9- Daniel Borges (IGA) 2 pts
11- Michelle Patrick (NEW) 1 pt
11- Michael Albertse (NTH) 1 pt


Climbing Standings:

1- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) 19 pts
2- Ross Barello (KRY) 18 pts
3- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 16 pts
4- Daithí Meallán (SNO) 15 pts
5- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 13 pts
6- Carlos Pipp (PEI) 10 pts
7- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) 3 pts
8- Jeff McNally (CSS) 2 pts


Up Next: Day 14 OFF DAY/TRAVEL DAY (Lorax City to New Bruxen)
Then, Day 15: Stage 12: New Bruxen to Monteverde- 89.3 miles


Preview: The toughest of the mountain stages, as the riders will climb to the top of Mt. Carlo, then decend the mountain, where speeds could reach over 40 MPH, then over the final 10 miles a 2300 ft climb takes the Tour to Monteverde, an old hippie commune, left behind by the founders of Sativaville..


Wiki page here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8

TOUR de QAZOX STAGE RESULTS
Day 15: Stage 12: New Bruxen to Monteverde- 89.3 miles


The Overall Leader will be in BLUE through out the TOUR, and the Climb/Sprint Leaders will be in RED/GREEN (respectively) through out as well. The Stage Winner will be in BOLD (Stage Results only) and the Defending Champion will be in BOLD ITALICS in both sets of standings.


1- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) 3hr:49min:53sec
2- Ross Barello (KRY) +0:04 sec
3- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +0:06 sec
4- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:07 sec
5- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +0:08 sec
6- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:10 sec
7- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:16 sec
8- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +0:17 sec
9- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +0:18 sec
10- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +0:20 sec
11- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +0:32 sec
12- Kevin Peters (NEW) +0:33 sec
13- Daniel Borges (IGA) +0:41 sec
14- Jan de Wit (NTH) +0:42 sec
15- Anthony Barker (PEI) +0:44 sec
16- John Nathaniel (QZX) +0:45 sec
17- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +0:46 sec
18- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +0:49 sec
19- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +0:48 sec
20- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:50 sec
21- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:58 sec
22- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +0:59 sec
23- Michael Albertse (NTH) +1:01 sec
24- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +1:03 sec
25- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +1:04 sec
26- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +1:10 sec
27- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +1:11 sec
28- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +1:12 sec
29- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +1:13 sec
30- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +1:20 sec
31- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +1:21 sec
32- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +1:23 sec
33- Elmo McBain (KPL) +1:29 sec
34- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +1:31 sec
35- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +1:33 sec
36- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +1:34 sec
37- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +1:38 sec
38- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +1:39 sec
39- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +1:40 sec
40- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +1:41 sec
41- Katie Skiff (CSS) +1:42 sec
42- João Machado (IGA) +1:50 sec
43- Mariano José (IGA) +1:51 sec
44- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +1:52 sec
45- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +1:53 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS

1- Noah Carlson (SAR) 42hr:12min:07sec
2- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:04 sec
3- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:05 sec
4- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:08 sec
5- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:13 sec
6- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:20 sec
7- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:33 sec
8- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +1:06 sec
9- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +1:09 sec
10- John Nathaniel (QZX) +1:21 sec
11- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +1:23 sec
12- Ross Barello (KRY) +1:23 sec
13- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +1:25 sec
14- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +1:27 sec
15- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +1:32 sec
16- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +1:52 sec
17- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +1:53 sec
18- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +2:02 sec
19- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +2:06 sec
20- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +2:06 sec
21- Katie Skiff (CSS) +2:19 sec
22- Kevin Peters (NEW) +2:23 sec
23- Jan de Wit (NTH) +2:24 sec
24- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +2:28 sec
25- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +2:38 sec
26- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +2:40 sec
27- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +2:50 sec
28- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +3:04 sec
29- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +3:18 sec
30- João Machado (IGA) +3:27 sec
31- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +3:32 sec
32- Anthony Barker (PEI) +3:41 sec
33- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +3:41 sec
34- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +3:42 sec
35- Michael Albertse (NTH) +3:59 sec
36- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +4:16 sec
37- Elmo McBain (KPL) +4:16 sec
38- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +4:20 sec
39- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +4:22 sec
40- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +4:23 sec
41- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +4:40 sec
42- Daniel Borges (IGA) +4:44 sec
43- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +4:55 sec
44- Mariano José (IGA) +6:11 sec
45- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +7:17 sec


Sprinter Standings:

1- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 22 pts
2- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) 18 pts
3- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) 11 pts
4- João Machado (IGA) 10 pts
5- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) 9 pts
6- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) 7 pts
7- Katie Skiff (CSS) 6 pts
8- Joe Whittsig (SAR) 3 pts
9- Noah Carlson (SAR) 2 pts
9- Daniel Borges (IGA) 2 pts
11- Michelle Patrick (NEW) 1 pt
11- Michael Albertse (NTH) 1 pt


Climbing Standings:

1- Ross Barello (KRY) 25 pts
2- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) 21 pts
3- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 19 pts
3- Daithí Meallán (SNO) 19 pts
5- Carlos Pipp (PEI) 15 pts
6- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 14 pts
7- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) 10 pts
8- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) 3 pts
9- Jeff McNally (CSS) 2 pts


Up Next: Day 16: Stage 13: Monteverde to San Guano- 100.7 miles

Preview: Riders decend Mt. Carlo as this is usually the fastest mountain stage, due to 98% of the course being downhill. Only a small 1300 foot climb over the final 6.7 miles will be challenge the riders.


Wiki page here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8

Dazza: Hi there Hamish!
Hamish: Hello there Lilian.
Dazza: I prefer Dazza!
Hamish: I know but I know who the real one is as I am related.

Dazza: Yeah, she's a real inspiration to people like me.
Hamish: How is your mother going on the farm?
Dazza: Fine, apart from having to sack someone for sexually harassing some of the cows.
Hamish: Sexually harassing cows?

Dazza: There's some real sickos out there.
Hamish: I thought we were sickos.
Dazza: How is your Mum Hikfie?
Hamish: Same same, she's still Dopey Dallas.

Dazza: Thank God you haven't got her brain damage then?
Hamish: I wouldn't want to be like Mum, she's a good person but she needs protection from big bad world
Dazza: Anyway, where's Heath?
Hamish: Dunno, he was here ... why are you here?

Dazza: He wanted to get to town for something.
Hamish: Oh yes, we don't have a team car to get around.
Dazza: But you do have a team car!
Hamish: We aren't allowed to drive for non-work purposes.

Dazza: But I saw it at a wine bar yesterday.
Hamish: Well, it wasn't us there.
Dazza: Here he is.
Heath: Sorry I'm late, I'm just tired from all that riding.

Hamish: This a date?
Dazza: He hasn't asked yet!
Heath: No, it isn't.
Dazza: What are you buying?

Heath: Something Mum wanted we can't find in Jeruselem.
Dazza: I like a guy who thinks well of his mother.
Heath: You have give something back to someone who's raised you well.
Hamish: I wish I could fix my Mum's brain damage.

Dazza: A bit late now.
Hamish: I know ...
Heath: We'd better get going ...
Hamish: How'd you get a driving licence here Lilian?

Dazza: I was born here! Not hard to get one.
Hamish: That's right, you're a Qazian native.
Heath: And you're an Ariddian ... who lives in Bostopia.
Dazza: So what about you Heath?

Heath: No idea about my family background. We have education level of a sheep.

The New Cleethorpes Enquirer
Team QCS claims second stage victory

After early disappointments, the wind of favour seems to have shifted in the direction of the three Quodites at this year's Tour de Qazox after Michael Fassbinder swept to victory in Stage 12, widely considered this Tour's most gruelling mountain stage. After forming part of a lead group consisting of all the Tour's big names, he looked out of his depth, but on the final climb into Monteverde cyclists ranked well ahead of him in the overalls began peeling off. Exhausted as he crossed the line with only the mildest of celebrations, he later drank fourteen bottles of hydrotonic water and ate eight plates of curry and rice, claiming "I feel like I've just smoked ten joints". While his choice of metaphor may have alarmed the QCF, they will be delighted by his achievement.

Fassbinder is the reigning champion in the Quintessential Giro, but was generally reckoned to be a weaker prospect for the Tour than Greschmeier colleague Raine Kauniainen. She finished in 11th, some 32 seconds off the pace in the second group, but improved her standings rank 4 places, picking up over 40 seconds as Marine Bellagge finally relinquished the blue jersey to plucky upstart Noah Carlson of Sarzonia, whose story has captivated Quodite fans, many of whom were out in force for the finish line today. Fassbinder did even better, moving up 10 places and picking up almost one and half minutes, while vaulting to 7th in the red jersey standings. Julius Sundberg managed a very creditable 31st, losing under 100 seconds.

Now, of course, all eyes are on Kauniainen, with many no doubt hoping she is able to complete a triple for Team QCS. "It'll be tough," she said, "But seeing Michael win has only made me more determined to try." The skilled descender should enjoy tomorrow's stage, after struggling in the individual time trial, won by new green jersey holder Mike Caverndash of Sorthern Northland, who continue to top the team standings, leading the hosts by just four seconds. Team QCS remain in seventh place. Peisandros lead the team standings in the mountains.

Unofficial team standingsSNO 126hr:39min:14sec
QZX +4sec
JRU +13sec
CAF +27sec
CSS +2min:7sec
PEI +4min:19sec
QOD +4min:43sec
LOV +6min:9sec
KPL +6min:27sec
NEW +6min:42sec
KRY +7min:48sec
NTH +7min:50sec
SRZ +8min:5sec
TAE +8min:9sec
IGA +11min:29sec
Source: QBS online

Noah Carlson's mobile ringing incessantly came as no surprise. However, the sources weren't the usual run of bill collectors.

Even though Carlson finished the brutal Stage 12 squarely in the middle of the table, as he dismounted, he was handed a different jersey from the one he'd been accustomed to wearing.

He looked at the jersey carefully. It was blue, yes, but it didn't have the large star or the Sarzonian flag anywhere. Then it dawned on him. It was the overall leader's blue jersey.

"You lead the race by four seconds," a Qazoxian official told Carlson as he presented the jersey to him. "Congratulations."

Carlson looked around in stunned silence, noting the few Sarzonians cheering wildly as they heard their countryman announced as the overall leader after this Stage 12. He saw a group of Quodites huddled under their flag not slackening their applause even though their countryman, Stage 12 winner Michael Fassbinder had already left.

"They're cheering for you, too," fellow Sarzonian rider Matt Quinlan told Carlson.

"Really?"

"Yeah, for whatever reason, you're big with the Quodites."

Carlson's face didn't change expression, but his eyes told the story. He was most assuredly taken aback by the news. Finally, he regained enough composure to walk over and applaud the Quodite fans after a brief visit to shake hands with the Sarzonians in attendance.

Then it was on to face the onslaught of mobile calls. This time, they were congratulatory.

The final call was arguably the best one: It was Sarzonian Vice President for Health and Athletics annoucing a sponsorship deal with the Portland Iron Works, Sarzonia's largest and most widely reaching company. Soon, hundreds of young Sarzonians would take to the bicycle, hoping to emulate their first cycling heroes.

The moment of triumph may yet prove fleeting. But for one day at least, Noah Carlson was on top of the cycling world.

"How does it look, Ross?"

"Not that different. Why did they decide to kit us out in red in the first place?"

"Some sponsorship thing. Still, Ross Barello, King of the Mountains. Has a nice ring, doesn't it?"

"Oh yes!"

Johnny: I'm a bit disappointed, six points behind in the red jersey now. And 20th overall. Considering I started so well, pissed off.
Carlos: Nah, you're doing well bro. I'm back in 5th for the red jersey but doing okay overall, 13th. Hows Anthony doing?
Johnny: Better. At 32nd now.
Carlos: Shit that's an improvement.

Johnny: Yeah I think he loved getting all that support from back home. Wish they had gotten in behind me!
Carlos: You know we have a pretty strong following, Ants doesn't get much at all.
Johnny: I guess, but our fans weren't so frantic.
Carlos: They're more reserved that's all and we've been around for a while too.

Johnny: I guess. Anyway, what's the plan for stage 13?
Carlos: It's meant to be pretty quick I think, lots of downhill.
Johnny: That's good. Any mountain points?
Carlos: Yeah there might be a few near the end, we'll try get you a few.

Double RP bonus in effect until 6:00pm EDT (12:00am UTC?) as today is a RL offday.

From the Daily Kangaroo newspaper

Kura-Pellandi cyclists at the Tour de Qazox are making up the numbers, some would say, but this is an event tough enough that 'making up the numbers' is a nightmarishly difficult task in itself.

Elmo McBain, then, cannot be possibly criticised for being over four minutes off the pace and near the back of the 45-strong pack in 37th. The fact he's still in this is quite remarkable, and four minutes in over 42 hours of cycling? That's nothing! The other two are faring better still although as expected, neither are contenders for ultimate victory. Ambrosio Roiz Múgica, seventh in the ferocious Stage 12 up a series of devilish climbs, is fifteenth overall and is targeting a top-10 overall finish as he prepares for the unlucky 13th stage, one that is downhill practically all the way. "It's about technique, tactics and total insanity," he mused about this stage. "The speeds are insane, and while you don't have to pedal much you do have to use the other bikes for slipstreaming while making sure not to get in contact with another bike or for that matter anything else. And you want to leave absolutely everything for the upward incline at the finish. It's an idiotic stage in one way, but it's gloriously idiotic. Aren't we all idiots for cycling for weeks on end in an obscure country after all?"

And that just about sums it up. These foolhardy souls are, indeed, the most glorious type of idiot. And we salute them.

Riders Trek The Quntinuum

It is midway through the Tour De Qazoxes 8th year on the international stage. For the third race season in a row the Drivers of Taeshan Air Racing have been fighting with the best in the world and doing pretty well throughout the past few seasons. At this point the top Taeshani driver is Climber Jacques Martoon in 19th, speedster Larry Armstrong in 36th, while in the final position on the Taeshani team is young rider Alan Zimmerman in 41st. They all are a few minutes of, but that could change as things do and who knoes the Tae Riders could be well on their way to making the path in their new adventure. When Larry Armstrong finished 8th last year that brought forth a lot of pride from avid Cycling fans. He won most improoved driver from his first season, and the fact that the Tae riders are all below 30 years of age and will be young for a while after others have past due to Taeshani time means we could be one of the most competitive teams looking into the future.

RP cutoff
Results up within the next hour or so.

Dear Mum

I heard we got a new puppy today. It's so nice of Princess Marie to give us one of her puppy dogs but I guess Dallas bitches are always having puppies. I guess the owners aren't any different either.

I'm sending you some money so you can get someone to fix my car. The aircon needs to be regassed and I think the back tires need to be replaced again. The brakes are a bit noisy and I don't know if I need them replaced as well. I wish I could a new car but I can't afford to.

How is Maisy's new video "Daisy does Beersheba" doing? Some Qazians here seem to be fans of Maisy, and think I'm Maisy. It's easy to be confused with Maisy using the stage name Daisy - and I'm the real Daisy. And both of us have big boobies too.

The management here are being really annoying. Us cyclists have no social life and yet they are the ones doing all the socialising. We do all the hard work and they have all the fun. Sometimes Heath goes out with that Qaz Daz but that's because we can't use the team car so we have to get Qaz Daz to do our shopping for us. She likes shopping so it's not a hassle for her.

She drives around in flash Mercedes SLK. I wish we could here a car like that but the best we can hire is a crappy Hyundia or something.

Qaz Daz talked about her farm today. She found it, but there's a big factory where it is now. She tried to find where her Dad was buried but it's probably under the carpark or something. The factory people were nice to her but didn't know it was her farm before. They gave her a few nice things since they couldn't help her find her Dad's grave.

I think we should call our new puppy Lilian.

Daisy
XXX

TOUR de QAZOX STAGE RESULTS
Day 16: Stage 13: New Bruxen to Monteverde- 89.3 miles


The Overall Leader will be in BLUE through out the TOUR, and the Climb/Sprint Leaders will be in RED/GREEN (respectively) through out as well. The Stage Winner will be in BOLD (Stage Results only) and the Defending Champion will be in BOLD ITALICS in both sets of standings.


1- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 3hr:11min:55sec
2- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:07 sec
3- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +0:11 sec
4- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:13 sec
5- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:15 sec
6- Ross Barello (KRY) +0:17 sec
7- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:18 sec
8- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +0:30 sec
9- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:31 sec
10- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:32 sec
11- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +0:34 sec
12- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +0:35 sec
13- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +0:37 sec
14- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:45 sec
15- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +0:46 sec
16- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:48 sec
17- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +0:50 sec
18- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +0:51 sec
19- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +1:00 sec
20- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +1:01 sec
21- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +1:03 sec
22- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +1:05 sec
23- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +1:06 sec
24- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +1:07 sec
25- Katie Skiff (CSS) +1:09 sec
26- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +1:10 sec
27- Kevin Peters (NEW) +1:11 sec
28- João Machado (IGA) +1:13 sec
29- Michael Albertse (NTH) +1:14 sec
30- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +1:15 sec
31- Elmo McBain (KPL) +1:21 sec
32- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +1:22 sec
33- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +1:23 sec
34- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +1:25 sec
35- Anthony Barker (PEI) +1:26 sec
36- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +1:27 sec
37- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +1:29 sec
38- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +1:30 sec
39- Jan de Wit (NTH) +1:31 sec
40- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +1:32 sec
41- John Nathaniel (QZX) +1:40 sec
42- Daniel Borges (IGA) +1:41 sec
43- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +1:47 sec
44- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +1:48 sec
45- Mariano José (IGA) +2:01 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS

1- Marina Bellagge (CAF) 45hr:24min:22sec
2- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:02 sec
3- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:07 sec
4- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:11 sec
5- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:25 sec
6- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:26 sec
7- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:33 sec
8- Ross Barello (KRY) +1:20 sec
9- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +1:37 sec
10- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +1:42 sec
11- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +1:43 sec
12- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +1:46 sec
13- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +1:47 sec
14- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +1:49 sec
15- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +2:16 sec
16- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +2:30 sec
17- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +2:32 sec
18- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +2:38 sec
19- John Nathaniel (QZX) +2:41 sec
20- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +2:50 sec
21- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +2:54 sec
22- Katie Skiff (CSS) +3:08 sec
23- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +3:11 sec
24- Kevin Peters (NEW) +3:14 sec
25- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +3:34 sec
26- Jan de Wit (NTH) +3:35 sec
27- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +3:40 sec
28- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +3:40 sec
29- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +4:03 sec
30- João Machado (IGA) +4:10 sec
31- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +4:27 sec
32- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +4:30 sec
33- Anthony Barker (PEI) +4:47 sec
34- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +4:51 sec
35- Michael Albertse (NTH) +4:53 sec
36- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +4:57 sec
37- Elmo McBain (KPL) +5:07 sec
38- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +5:15 sec
39- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +5:16 sec
40- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +5:20 sec
41- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +5:32 sec
42- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +6:00 sec
43- Daniel Borges (IGA) +6:05 sec
44- Mariano José (IGA) +7:52 sec
45- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +8:45 sec


Sprinter Standings:

1- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 22 pts
2- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) 18 pts
3- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) 11 pts
4- João Machado (IGA) 10 pts
5- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) 9 pts
6- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) 7 pts
7- Katie Skiff (CSS) 6 pts
8- Joe Whittsig (SAR) 3 pts
9- Noah Carlson (SAR) 2 pts
9- Daniel Borges (IGA) 2 pts
11- Michelle Patrick (NEW) 1 pt
11- Michael Albertse (NTH) 1 pt


FINAL Climbing Standings:

1- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 29 pts
2- Ross Barello (KRY) 27 pts
3- Daithí Meallán (SNO) 26 pts
4- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) 25 pts
5- Carlos Pipp (PEI) 15 pts
5- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 15 pts
7- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) 10 pts
8- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) 5 pts
9- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) 3 pts
9- Marina Bellagge (CAF) 3 pts
11- Jeff McNally (CSS) 2 pts

Congrats to Johnny Pipp of Peisandros for winning the TdQ8 Climber Title!

Up Next: Day 17: Stage 14: San Guano to Kibbutz- 98 miles

Preview: A strange stage, as the first 15 miles consist of travelling up and down the 5 hills of Guano, then the next 83 miles takes place along Highway 84 and is rather speedy.


Wiki page here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8

Beningrad Evening Supernova
Because why be a mere Star when you can be a Supernova!

Blanket ban on sports coverage lifted as minister resigns

A blanket ban on sports broadcasting in Sorthern Northland was lifter earlier today following the resignation of the Secretary of State for Media, Máire Bánteach following what has quickly become know as Penisgate. The ban, which led to little to no Sorthern media coverage of the Baptism of Fire along with coverage of the Tour de Qazox being stopped, was put in place by Bánteach following what she described as “immoral displays of flesh by certain cyclists. Whilst it is understood that she objects to the lycra kits worn by cyclists, it is thought the final straw however came when Quodite cyclist Michael Fassbinder inappropriately displayed his manhood whilst being interviewed.

Bánteach is notorious for her efforts to clean up what she described as “a sports world and a media world grossly lacking in decent moral standards” and has on a number of occasions campaigned for tighter controls and what can and cannot be broadcasted and reported in Sorthern sports. Critics however have long claimed Bánteach to be easily offended with many citing her attempt to ban coverage of rock-climbing due to “the obscene nature of sticking ones fingers in small holes”.

The ban has particularly annoyed cycling fans, who have missed out on seeing the Asal éide spóirt - Sorthern Racing team win a Team Time Trial stage to put them top of the team standings in the Tour de Qazox, as well as a stage win for Mike Caverndash which propelled him into the Green Jersey. That win was greeted by relief from Caverndash who told reporters looking for a story they wouldn't be allowed to publish that “it was about fucking time I won a stage, I'm clearly the fastest sprinter in the world, so to not have won one until now was bloody frustrating.”

Elsewhere for the Asal éide spóirt team, Daithí Meallán has continued his strong start to the Tour and currently sits in third place in the overall standings just seven seconds behind the surprise blue jersey wearer from Cafundéu, Marina Bellagge. In the latest stage Meallán once again found himself finishing second behind Peisandrian rider Johnny Pipp. The victory seals the Red Jersey for Pipp, while Meallán finishes second in the climbers classification with twenty-six points, three points behind Pipp. Speaking after the stage Meallán told us, “Pippo seems to have a habit of beating me doesn't he? It would have been nice to win the malliot rouge but I'm happy to have finished third in that in my first Tour, and the general classification is the main thing anyway. I must admit though I'm surprised to see a Cafundelense rider in the blue jersey though. From what Cav tells me it would appear that none of them can ride a bike properly.”

By gosh, Johnny's done it!!

News has come in from Qazox that Peisandros cycling stalwart Johnny Pipp has one the coveted Red jersey as king of the mountains. He had a fantastic 12th stage, which saw him win the stage by the solid margin of seven seconds. Infact only stages 5 and 9 were won by greater margins. He picked up a huge 10 climbing points, while the rider in red going in to the stage, Ross Barello, managed only two. It was enough to seal the deal and the stage win brought his overall position up to twelve, two behind brother Carlos who continues his solid tour. Anthony Barker finished 35th on the day, another sub-par effort which has become the norm of late. Johnny is reportedly very happy although exhausted, we will have an interview with him at the end of the Tour.

Posted at QBS Tour page.
Kauniainen third in final mountain test

Raine Kauniainen faced disappointment in the Tour de Qazox, finishing third on the final mountain stage, 11 seconds behind Sandrian Johnny Pipp, who swept to victory in the stage and the overall red jersey classification. 11th in the overall standings, Kauniainen will now have to battle through the closing quick stages if she is to achieve her dream of a top 10 finish. "I rode well today but I will admit I am disappointed," she said afterwards. "I thought this was probably my last chance at a stage win, but Johnny was just too strong for me."
OOC: Sorry for brevity, RWC calls. Qazox, I think you have the wrong Pipp coloured in red in the overall standings.

RP Cutoff
Results up shortly

TOUR de QAZOX STAGE RESULTS
Day 17: Stage 14: San Guano to Kibbutz- 98 miles


The Overall Leader will be in BLUE through out the TOUR, and the Climb/Sprint Leaders will be in RED/GREEN (respectively) through out as well. The Stage Winner will be in BOLD (Stage Results only) and the Defending Champion will be in BOLD ITALICS in both sets of standings.


1- Eddie Onassis (KRY) 3hr:11min:55sec
2- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +0:08 sec
3- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +0:09 sec
4- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +0:12 sec
5- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +0:13 sec
6- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +0:15 sec
7- João Machado (IGA) +0:18 sec
8- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +0:20 sec
9- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +0:24 sec
10- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +0:25 sec
11- Michael Albertse (NTH) +0:27 sec
12- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +0:28 sec
13- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:34 sec
14- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +0:35 sec
15- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +0:36 sec
16- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +0:37 sec
17- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +0:40 sec
18- Katie Skiff (CSS) +0:42 sec
19- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:45 sec
20- Ross Barello (KRY) +0:49 sec
21- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:50 sec
22- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:51 sec
23- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +0:53 sec
24- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +0:54 sec
25- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:56 sec
26- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +1:01 sec
27- Noah Carlson (SAR) +1:03 sec
28- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +1:04 sec
29- Elmo McBain (KPL) +1:06 sec
30- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +1:08 sec
31- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +1:10 sec
32- Daniel Borges (IGA) +1:11 sec
33- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +1:15 sec
34- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +1:16 sec
35- Jeff McNally (CSS) +1:17 sec
36- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +1:19 sec
37- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +1:20 sec
38- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +1:21 sec
39- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +1:22 sec
40- John Nathaniel (QZX) +1:30 sec
41- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +1:31 sec
42- Kevin Peters (NEW) +1:34 sec
43- Jan de Wit (NTH) +1:36 sec
44- Mariano José (IGA) +1:38 sec
45- Anthony Barker (PEI) +1:41 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS

1- Daithí Meallán (SNO) 47hr:18min:22sec
2- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:01 sec
3- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:09 sec
4- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:22 sec
5- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:24 sec
6- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:37 sec
7- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:50 sec
8- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +1:12 sec
9- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +1:16 sec
10- Ross Barello (KRY) +1:17 sec
11- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +1:19 sec
12- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +1:19 sec
13- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +1:46 sec
14- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +1:59 sec
15- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +2:00 sec
16- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +2:10 sec
17- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +2:14 sec
18- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +2:17 sec
19- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +2:42 sec
20- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +2:57 sec
21- Katie Skiff (CSS) +2:58 sec
22- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +3:01 sec
23- John Nathaniel (QZX) +3:19 sec
24- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +3:23 sec
25- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +3:36 sec
26- João Machado (IGA) +3:36 sec
27- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +3:38 sec
28- Kevin Peters (NEW) +3:56 sec
29- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +4:04 sec
30- Jan de Wit (NTH) +4:19 sec
31- Michael Albertse (NTH) +4:28 sec
32- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +4:29 sec
33- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +4:44 sec
34- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +4:56 sec
35- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +5:00 sec
36- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +5:06 sec
37- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +5:06 sec
38- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +5:08 sec
39- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +5:14 sec
40- Elmo McBain (KPL) +5:21 sec
41- Anthony Barker (PEI) +5:22 sec
42- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +5:31 sec
43- Daniel Borges (IGA) +6:24 sec
44- Mariano José (IGA) +8:38 sec
45- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +9:13 sec


Sprinter Standings:

1- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 22 pts
2- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) 18 pts
3- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) 11 pts
4- João Machado (IGA) 10 pts
5- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) 9 pts
6- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) 7 pts
7- Katie Skiff (CSS) 6 pts
8- Joe Whittsig (SAR) 3 pts
9- Noah Carlson (SAR) 2 pts
9- Daniel Borges (IGA) 2 pts
11- Michelle Patrick (NEW) 1 pt
11- Michael Albertse (NTH) 1 pt


FINAL Climbing Standings:

1- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 29 pts
2- Ross Barello (KRY) 27 pts
3- Daithí Meallán (SNO) 26 pts
4- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) 25 pts
5- Carlos Pipp (PEI) 15 pts
5- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 15 pts
7- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) 10 pts
8- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) 5 pts
9- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) 3 pts
9- Marina Bellagge (CAF) 3 pts
11- Jeff McNally (CSS) 2 pts

Congrats to Johnny Pipp of Peisandros for winning the TdQ8 Climber Title!

Up Next: Day 18: Stage 15: Kibbutz to Monteverde- 78.4 miles
Preview: Riders travel along the foot of Mt. Carlo as they head back to Monteverde. Unlike the last time, this stage will not involve a mountain, but rather a trip along the Carlovia River heading towards Lake Vogg.


Wiki page here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8

Lilian Dazza Greenly and Heath Stamforger playing chess ...

Heath: OK, how do this play game?
Dazza: You've never played Chess?
Heath: I come from a family of morons.
Dazza: You're not stupid

Heath: Well, but my education isn't the best.
Dazza: I'm sure you're no moron.
Heath: I dunno, I'm not the smartest person around.
Dazza: You're talking to farm girl.

Heath: Farmers aren't idiots.
Dazza: OK, I'll explain the pieces here!
Heath: What's these little ones, the ones with round heads ...
Dazza: That's the pawns.

Heath: How do spell that?
Dazza: P-A-W-N
Heath: Good I though it was another spelling ... what about these block heads?
Dazza: That's a castle or rook.

Heath: It looked a bit like a castle. And these horsey things ...
Dazza: That's a Knight, who ride on horses.
Heath: OK, err the tall one with spiky head
Dazza: That's the Queen.

Heath: And these thing with the cross on his head.
Dazza: That's the King.
Heath: I don't know the rules.
Dazza: What sort of education did you get?

Heath: A pretty basic one, I mixed with poor kids of same poor status.
Dazza: Then you should upgrade, then.
Heath: I don't want to be poor and stupid, I want my family to be smart people.
Dazza: My family were poor once, but we weren't stupid.

Heath: I'm just one of working poor.
Dazza: One should strive for better things for the sake of the kids.
Heath: If I have any kids.
Dazza: I want kids!

"...will start her position at BobBank FC immediately.

"Cycling now. Eddie Onassis won his third stage, while Daithí Meallán of Asal éide spóirt gained the blue jersey. We're joined live from Qazox by Michael Fassbinder of Team QCS. Michael how are things out there?"

"Hi Alyssa. It wasn't the toughest stage today, but it was a little too quick for me. Raine managed to keep up with the pace, though, and now we're all really hoping she'll be able to hang on for a top 10 finish."

"Where you surprised to see the blue jersey changing hands this late in the Tour?"

"Not really. The Sorthern team has been very strong throughout, so it was probably just a matter of time."

"Tomorrow's stage sees you riding back to Monteverde, a very flat stage. More suited to Julius Sundberg?"

"Well, we'll have to see, but I think saying any stage is suited to him would be a bit of a stretch: he's wank."

"Ok. Has it helped having a number of fans along in support?"

"Of course, it's fantastic seeing them lining the roads."

"Ok, well thank you for joining us Michael, and good luck tomorrow."

RP Cutoff
Only 3 stages left after tonight...

TOUR de QAZOX STAGE RESULTS
Day 18: Stage 15: Kibbutz to Monteverde- 78.4 miles


The Overall Leader will be in BLUE through out the TOUR, and the Climb/Sprint Leaders will be in RED/GREEN (respectively) through out as well. The Stage Winner will be in BOLD (Stage Results only) and the Defending Champion will be in BOLD ITALICS in both sets of standings.


1- John Nathaniel (QZX) 2hr:14min:58sec
2- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +0:07 sec
3- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +0:08 sec
4- Mariano José (IGA) +0:09 sec
5- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +0:10 sec
6- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +0:19 sec
7- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +0:20 sec
8- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +0:21 sec
9- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +0:22 sec
10- Jan de Wit (NTH) +0:23 sec
11- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +0:25 sec
12- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +0:26 sec
13- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +0:27 sec
14- Elmo McBain (KPL) +0:29 sec
15- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +0:30 sec
16- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +0:31 sec
17- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +0:44 sec
18- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +0:45 sec
19- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +0:46 sec
20- João Machado (IGA) +0:47 sec
21- Michael Albertse (NTH) +0:48 sec
22- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +0:51 sec
23- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:52 sec
24- Katie Skiff (CSS) +0:53 sec
25- Daniel Borges (IGA) +0:54 sec
26- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +0:57 sec
27- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:58 sec
28- Kevin Peters (NEW) +0:59 sec
29- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +1:00 sec
30- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +1:06 sec
31- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +1:07 sec
32- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +1:08 sec
33- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +1:13 sec
34- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +1:14 sec
35- Anthony Barker (PEI) +1:15 sec
36- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +1:17 sec
37- Jeff McNally (CSS) +1:18 sec
38- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +1:19 sec
39- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +1:20 sec
40- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +1:26 sec
41- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +1:27 sec
42- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +1:28 sec
43- Ross Barello (KRY) +1:29 sec
44- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +1:35 sec
45- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +1:36 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS

1- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 49hr:33min:38sec
2- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:02 sec
3- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:18 sec
4- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:19 sec
5- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:19 sec
6- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:20 sec
7- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +0:25 sec
8- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +0:38 sec
9- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:50 sec
10- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:53 sec
11- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +1:02 sec
12- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +1:25 sec
13- Ross Barello (KRY) +1:28 sec
14- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +1:36 sec
15- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +1:44 sec
16- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +1:47 sec
17- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +1:58 sec
18- John Nathaniel (QZX) +2:01 sec
19- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +2:02 sec
20- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +2:12 sec
21- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +2:15 sec
22- Katie Skiff (CSS) +2:33 sec
23- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +2:34 sec
24- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +2:50 sec
25- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +3:02 sec
26- João Machado (IGA) +3:05 sec
27- Jan de Wit (NTH) +3:21 sec
28- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +3:27 sec
29- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +3:30 sec
30- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +3:32 sec
31- Kevin Peters (NEW) +3:37 sec
32- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +3:49 sec
33- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +3:51 sec
34- Michael Albertse (NTH) +3:58 sec
35- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +4:04 sec
36- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +4:10 sec
37- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +4:20 sec
38- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +4:23 sec
39- Elmo McBain (KPL) +4:32 sec
40- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +4:56 sec
41- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +5:10 sec
42- Anthony Barker (PEI) +5:19 sec
43- Daniel Borges (IGA) +6:00 sec
44- Mariano José (IGA) +7:29 sec
45- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +9:21 sec


Sprinter Standings:

1- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 22 pts
2- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) 18 pts
3- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) 11 pts
4- João Machado (IGA) 10 pts
5- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) 9 pts
6- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) 7 pts
7- Katie Skiff (CSS) 6 pts
8- Joe Whittsig (SAR) 3 pts
9- Noah Carlson (SAR) 2 pts
9- Daniel Borges (IGA) 2 pts
11- Michelle Patrick (NEW) 1 pt
11- Michael Albertse (NTH) 1 pt


FINAL Climbing Standings:

1- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 29 pts
2- Ross Barello (KRY) 27 pts
3- Daithí Meallán (SNO) 26 pts
4- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) 25 pts
5- Carlos Pipp (PEI) 15 pts
5- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 15 pts
7- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) 10 pts
8- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) 5 pts
9- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) 3 pts
9- Marina Bellagge (CAF) 3 pts
11- Jeff McNally (CSS) 2 pts

Congrats to Johnny Pipp of Peisandros for winning the TdQ8 Climber Title!

Up Next: Day 19: Stage 16: Monteverde to Vogg City- 80.6 miles
Preview: Riders continue towards Lake Vogg, skirting Graverville before crossing the Carlovia River and heading north along the lake until the finish.


Wiki page here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8

Jeruselem Government News

Heath regains Tour de Qazox lead

Heath Stamforger is back in the lead at the Tour de Qazox after day 18, stage 15.

Daisy Cartwheeler finished 8th in today's stage, 21 seconds off the pace to be Jeruselem's best for the day. She is 11th overall, which is impressive for sprinter. Hamish Dallas drifted 52 seconds off the pace in 23th today but kept his 10th spot overall just ahead of Daisy. Both Jeruselem rider are about 1 minute away from the overall leader. Heath finished 36th today, some 77 seconds off the pace but overall he gained the lead back with a mere 2 second buffer over Noah Carlson.

The tour is far from over still. Stage 19 is only 80.6 miles long but with the difference between riders in seconds - every mile counts. There's only 53 seconds between 10th and 1st overall so anyone can still win this race who is within striking distance.

Other riders can brag about their skills but our Heath is the quiet man of the tour. He's in the top 10 and never wins a stage but finished consistently well to stay in contention. In fact, this is way of Jeruselem riders. Ricky Pointy Stick and Kylie Kool who have both won the tour - never won a lot of stages. Jeruselem riders rarely win stages but finish in the right place when needed.

Hamish and Daisy have done well themselves, keeping within the top 20 and helping Heath in his way. Defending champ Danni Nathaniel, the Qazian has a lot of work. Qazian compatriot Craig Nathaniel is sitting pretty in 5th with a better chance to stealing the title. New Sprint champion Mike Caverndash can also strike, in 7th place.

This race is really tight and no one has been able to grab a permanent buffer. We have three riders in the top 11 and hopefully our Heath is the man who comes out as the new champ.

YES IT’S STILL GOING

This thing with the bikes is still going on. The Tour de Qazox has now completed 18 stages, and the riders can see the finish now. There isn’t that much longer, and with seven riders within 30 seconds of the leader, and 10 within a minute, we still have no idea how this is all going to play out. Heath Stamforger of Jeruselem is leading the way. Maybe that can get him a date with a Dallas girl one day.

Newmanistanian riders are not faring very well. Not that this news really surprises any of us. Perhaps we should be tipping our cap to riders instead of pointing out where they are on the leaderboard. They have battled hard, even when the Empire has concerned itself more with Lacrosse, Charity Cups, and World Bowls. Let’s give them a hand! It’s not an easy job, and to further prove that we asked some well known Newmanistanian athletes if they felt they could complete the Tour de Qazox:

Jeremy McAllister (Football/Soccer): “I could probably do it, if I really wanted to, but not nearly as fast as they can. Heck, I’d probably be three days behind, not three minutes. But do I think I could finish the course eventually, probably.”

Jennifer Vilardi (Football/Soccer): “Absolutely not. You really have to admire how well they are doing. For all of our riders, and of course I want Heath to hold on to his lead!”

Stacey Keisler (Baseball): “I haven’t ridden a bike since I was twelve. So, no.”

Carrie Nicolette (Baseball): “Maybe I could complete the flat stages, but those mountain ones are really hard. So I don’t think so.”

Craig Sanders (Hockey): “The Tour de what? Oh, yeah, that sounds pretty hard.”

Kenny O’Hara (Football): “I could never be a competitive bike-rider. I hate riding a bike. It’s boring, and to do it competitively, I really don’t think so. I don’t know how they do it for so long, but I guess it’s their thing.”

Corey Parisi (Football): “I would probably crash. I’d try to find too many holes between bikes that I’d cause a big wreck.”

Curtis Farrell (Lacrosse): “They are well conditioned athletes. I couldn’t do what they do, but they couldn’t do what I do, either.”

Michael Kinser (Lacrosse): “I’d like to try, honestly.”

(ooc to Jeruselem, the Sprint title is still up for grabs....)

It's brutal, it's nearly over, and for the O'Reilly team it's about survival.

"This Tour was about not messing up, getting our three members across that finish line in one piece and laying foundations for the future," admitted a senior team official. Ambrosio Ruiz Múgica, the top team member, has fallen rapidly on the flat stages as expected, and is down in 21st, albeit barely two minutes off the lead. The other two riders are in the bottom half of the standings.

Humiliation has been truly avoided though, as bottom O'Reilly team member Elmo McBain (39th) is closer to the leader than the last-placed rider in time terms. The foundation has been laid.

Another flat stage is next, and indeed the mountains are truly over. But even tiny inclines must feel tricky with so many miles of mountains under these riders' legs, not to mention all those sprint finishes and breakaways.

Beningrad Evening Supernova
Because why be a mere Star when you can be a Supernova!

Sorthern Cycling rule out bottle throwing investigation

As the Tour de Qazox pedals into it's closing stages the governing body of Sorthern cycling, Sorthern Cycling has said it will not be carrying out an investigation into an incident between Mike Canverndash and Cafundelense rider Leonardo Camargo. Television replies after the race show Camargo crashing his bike moments after an empty bottle thrown from Caverndash's bike struck his neck. Speaking to the assembled media a fan of Camargo is understood to have said, “It was a brrrrrutal attack. Caverrrrrndash did it deliberrrrrately. He and the Sorrrrrtherrrrrn team arrrrre trrrrying to put Camarrrrgo out of the race. The Sorrrrtherrrrrn cycling authorrrrrities must investigate this.”

Sorthern Cycling though dismissed the call to investigate the incident, with a spokesman saying, “What is there for us to investigate? It is clear that what happened is Mike was throwing an empty water bottle away to lighten the weight on his bike and the Cafundelense rider rode into it in a deliberate ploy to besmirch the character of Mike and of the Sorthern cycling team. If anyone should be investigated here it is Camargo, what he's done is cowardly.”

Despite suggestions to the contrary Caverndash denies that he threw the bottle with excessive force, or that he should checked for other riders before discarding it, commenting, “I threw it with merely enough force to get rid of it. It's just unfortunate that Camargo rode into it, but I did nothing wrong. We all know the Cafundelense riders are balanceless fools, the Olympics showed that. Why should I have to check for fools before throwing a water bottle away? If I did that they'd probably ride straight into me again.”

The baseless accusations thrown at the Asal éide spóirt - Sorthern Racing team add to what was a forgettable days racing for the team. The highest Sorthern rider was Fran Ventoso who came in 7th some twenty seconds behind Qazian stage winner John Nathaniel to add to what has been another disappointing tour for Ventoso. Caverndash meanwhile finished eleven seconds later in 16th place. The biggest though was blue jersey wearer Daithí Meallán who finished in last place surrendering his lead to Jeruselem's Heath Stamforger. Meallán went on to blame a poor days racing on the jersey itself saying, “I must say it was rather uncomfortable, I didn't like the material at all. I think their might have been a few lice and whatnot on it as well. I certainly have been scratching a lot in it. It's rather hot as well, doesn't exactly help the rider, I'm sure without it on I wouldn't have lost as much time, and it'll certainly be one hell of a job now to win it back, but if I win it on the last day I'll be happy. It'll mean I don't actually have to wear the thing again. I'm not sure it's even been washed during the tour to be honest.”

RP Cutoff is Now.

TOUR de QAZOX STAGE RESULTS
Day 19: Stage 16: Monteverde to Vogg City- 80.6 miles


The Overall Leader will be in BLUE through out the TOUR, and the Climb/Sprint Leaders will be in RED/GREEN (respectively) through out as well. The Stage Winner will be in BOLD (Stage Results only) and the Defending Champion will be in BOLD ITALICS in both sets of standings.


1- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) 2hr:35min:21sec
2- João Machado (IGA) +0:02 sec
3- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +0:03 sec
4- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +0:04 sec
5- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +0:05 sec
6- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +0:06 sec
7- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +0:10 sec
8- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +0:12 sec
9- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +0:17 sec
10- Katie Skiff (CSS) +0:18 sec
11- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +0:21 sec
12- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:22 sec
13- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:24 sec
14- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +0:26 sec
15- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +0:27 sec
16- Michael Albertse (NTH) +0:29 sec
17- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +0:30 sec
18- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +0:34 sec
19- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:37 sec
20- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +0:38 sec
21- Elmo McBain (KPL) +0:43 sec
22- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +0:44 sec
23- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:46 sec
24- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:47 sec
25- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +0:48 sec
26- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +0:51 sec
27- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +0:56 sec
28- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:57 sec
29- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +1:00 sec
30- Ross Barello (KRY) +1:01 sec
31- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +1:05 sec
32- Jeff McNally (CSS) +1:09 sec
33- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +1:10 sec
34- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +1:11 sec
35- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +1:12 sec
36- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +1:17 sec
37- Daniel Borges (IGA) +1:18 sec
38- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +1:22 sec
39- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +1:23 sec
40- John Nathaniel (QZX) +1:28 sec
41- Kevin Peters (NEW) +1:31 sec
42- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +1:32 sec
43- Mariano José (IGA) +1:37 sec
44- Jan de Wit (NTH) +1:38 sec
45- Anthony Barker (PEI) +1:45 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS
NOTE: Danni Nathaniel is wearing the green jersey due to Mike Caverndash wearing the Blue.

1- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 53hr:09min:27sec
2- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:13 sec
3- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +0:15 sec
4- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:21 sec
5- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:27 sec
6- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:32 sec
7- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:37 sec
8- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +0:40 sec
9- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:49 sec
10- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:49 sec
11- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +1:23 sec
12- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +1:24 sec
13- Jeff McNally (CSS) +1:31 sec
14- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +1:31 sec
15- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +1:33 sec
16- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +1:40 sec
17- Ross Barello (KRY) +2:01 sec
18- Katie Skiff (CSS) +2:23 sec
19- João Machado (IGA) +2:39 sec
20- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +2:40 sec
21- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +2:56 sec
22- John Nathaniel (QZX) +3:01 sec
23- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +3:04 sec
24- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +3:10 sec
25- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +3:23 sec
26- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +3:23 sec
27- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +3:25 sec
28- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +3:29 sec
29- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +3:32 sec
30- Michael Albertse (NTH) +3:59 sec
31- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +4:03 sec
32- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +4:03 sec
33- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +4:04 sec
34- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +4:16 sec
35- Jan de Wit (NTH) +4:31 sec
36- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +4:32 sec
37- Kevin Peters (NEW) +4:40 sec
38- Elmo McBain (KPL) +4:47 sec
39- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +5:00 sec
40- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +5:26 sec
41- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +6:00 sec
42- Anthony Barker (PEI) +6:36 sec
43- Daniel Borges (IGA) +6:50 sec
44- Mariano José (IGA) +8:38 sec
45- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +10:03 sec


Sprinter Standings:

1- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 22 pts
2- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) 18 pts
3- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) 11 pts
4- João Machado (IGA) 10 pts
5- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) 9 pts
6- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) 7 pts
7- Katie Skiff (CSS) 6 pts
8- Joe Whittsig (SAR) 3 pts
9- Noah Carlson (SAR) 2 pts
9- Daniel Borges (IGA) 2 pts
11- Michelle Patrick (NEW) 1 pt
11- Michael Albertse (NTH) 1 pt


FINAL Climbing Standings:

1- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 29 pts
2- Ross Barello (KRY) 27 pts
3- Daithí Meallán (SNO) 26 pts
4- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) 25 pts
5- Carlos Pipp (PEI) 15 pts
5- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 15 pts
7- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) 10 pts
8- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) 5 pts
9- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) 3 pts
9- Marina Bellagge (CAF) 3 pts
11- Jeff McNally (CSS) 2 pts

Congrats to Johnny Pipp of Peisandros for winning the TdQ8 Climber Title!

Up Next: Day 20: Stage 17: INDIVIDUAL TIME TRIAL Vogg City to Chervan- 43 miles
Preview: Riders will leave in inverse order of current standings, meaning the last-placed rider will leave first, and the leader last. Riders will leave in 1 minute intervals. This stage will determine the Sprint Championship. A quick jaunt along the Faustian River Valley south.


Wiki page here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8

Lilian Dazza Greenly with Heath Stamforger

Dazza: Bad luck there ...
Heath: That's OK, it wasn't my kind of stage anyway.
Dazza: Still, three Jeruselem riders in top 10 isn't bad.
Heath: Yes, last tour we didn't manage one.

Dazza: There's a time trial next.
Heath: I don't like time trials.
Dazza: Well, it's time for you to show everyone you can do well in them.
Heath: Sprinting isn't exactly something I do well in.

Dazza: You have my support!
Heath: Don't expect too much from me.
Dazza: Even if you don't win this, you're a winner to me.
Heath: Thanks, I wish I could say others support me this way.

Dazza: Don't worry. You're gonna win!
Heath: I can only do my best. I do let myself down in the faster stages of this race.
Dazza: You're far from the worst here.
Heath: Yeah, but everyone only remembers the winners.

Dazza: Daisy has done well compared to last tour.
Heath: Yeah, she could win this tour as well.
Dazza: But I think you're the best placed for Team Jeruselem.
Heath: Pity I hasn't won a stage.

Dazza: Yeah, so close at times ...
Heath: Maybe I'm not aggressive enough at the end.
Dazza: Now is the time to attack! No time to back off.
Heath: I guess I'm not here to come 2nd. Maybe I'm too old for this, like Mary Sallad decided.

Dazza: Rubbish! You've got a few good tours in you.
Heath: Maybe I lack the mental toughness.
Dazza: You're tougher than a lot of so called men.
Heath: I guess I'll find out tomorrow.

Cyclingdaily.sn

Cav races into shock lead

When Daithí Meallan briefly won and lost the blue jersey of the Tour de Qazox on stages 14 and 15, Sorthern cycling fans looked resigned to any Sorthern challenge for the blue jersey being over. Mike Caverndash though, shocked the cycling world on stage 16 to put himself into the blue jersey, and into strong contention to be wearing it, along with the green sprint classification jersey when the Tour finishes in Qazox City in two days time.

Whilst Caverndash is regarded highly by all in Sorthern cycling, he has never been considered a contender for a tour win, and especially not for a grand tour. A point which prior to this tour the Asal éide spóirt – Sorthern Racing directeur sportiff, Mitxel Mariñelarena had made, “I am sure he will win stages, but the blue jersey? No way. He is simply not that type of rider. He is a good rider, and I believe among the best, but he is a sprinter, not a climber, the mountains keep him down the classification.”

It was with some surprise then for Mitxel, that with two stages left he would be planning a strategy to see Caverndash ride into Qazox City wearing the blue jersey. Speaking at a press conference following stage 16, where a third place finish saw Caverndash rise to first in the overall standings, Mitxel said, “Tomorrow we have a time trial, and that will suit Cav. He's already won one, so we are looking at this as a great opportunity to win the sprint classification and to build up the lead in the general. The last stage, we are still unsure what it'll be like, but if we can come out of tomorrow still in blue, then I think we have a good chance at winning it.”

Stage 16 also saw a decent ride by Fran Ventoso who finished in 9th place, seventeen seconds behind stage winner Anthony Kronenborg of the Krytenian G9 Software Solutions Cycling Team. A 19th place finish from Daithí Meallan saw him move to 5th place in the overall classification, twenty seven seconds behind Caverndash.

(OOC: I apologize for the earliness of this, but RP CUTOFF is now.)

(Any RPing between NOW and when the results are posted will count)

TOUR de QAZOX STAGE RESULTS
Day 20: Stage 17: INDIVIDUAL TIME TRIAL Vogg City to Chervan- 43 miles


The Overall Leader will be in BLUE through out the TOUR, and the Climb/Sprint Leaders will be in RED/GREEN (respectively) through out as well. The Stage Winner will be in BOLD (Stage Results only) and the Defending Champion will be in BOLD ITALICS in both sets of standings.


1- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) 1hr:19min:41sec
2- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +0:01 sec
3- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +0:03 sec
4- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +0:04 sec
5- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +0:07 sec
6- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +0:08 sec
7- João Machado (IGA) +0:09 sec
8- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +0:16 sec
9- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:17 sec
10- Katie Skiff (CSS) +0:20 sec
11- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +0:21 sec
12- Elmo McBain (KPL) +0:25 sec
13- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:26 sec
14- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +0:27 sec
15- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:30 sec
16- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +0:32 sec
17- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +0:33 sec
18- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +0:35 sec
19- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +0:38 sec
20- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +0:39 sec
21- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:40 sec
22- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +0:41 sec
23- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +0:42 sec
24- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +0:43 sec
25- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +0:47 sec
26- Mariano José (IGA) +0:48 sec
27- Michael Albertse (NTH) +0:49 sec
28- John Nathaniel (QZX) +0:50 sec
29- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +0:51 sec
30- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +0:52 sec
31- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +0:53 sec
32- Jeff McNally (CSS) +0:54 sec
33- Kevin Peters (NEW) +0:57 sec
34- Jan de Wit (NTH) +1:00 sec
35- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +1:02 sec
36- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +1:04 sec
37- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +1:05 sec
38- Daniel Borges (IGA) +1:07 sec
39- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +1:08 sec
40- Anthony Barker (PEI) +1:12 sec
41- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +1:15 sec
42- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +1:16 sec
43- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +1:17 sec
44- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +1:18 sec
45- Ross Barello (KRY) +1:19 sec


OVERALL STANDINGS
NOTE: Danni Nathaniel is wearing the green jersey due to Mike Caverndash wearing the Blue.

1- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 54hr:29min:15sec
2- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +0:12 sec
3- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +0:32 sec
4- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +0:33 sec
5- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:44 sec
6- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +0:59 sec
7- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +1:10 sec
8- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +1:17 sec
9- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +1:27 sec
10- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +1:37 sec
11- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +1:47 sec
12- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +1:57 sec
13- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +2:00 sec
14- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +2:00 sec
15- Jeff McNally (CSS) +2:18 sec
16- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +2:32 sec
17- Katie Skiff (CSS) +2:36 sec
18- João Machado (IGA) +2:41 sec
19- Ross Barello (KRY) +3:13 sec
20- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +3:20 sec
21- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +3:24 sec
22- John Nathaniel (QZX) +3:44 sec
23- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +3:46 sec
24- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +3:56 sec
25- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +4:05 sec
26- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +4:05 sec
27- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +4:09 sec
28- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +4:12 sec
29- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +4:16 sec
30- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +4:22 sec
31- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +4:36 sec
32- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +4:37 sec
33- Michael Albertse (NTH) +4:41 sec
34- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +4:44 sec
35- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +4:56 sec
36- Elmo McBain (KPL) +5:05 sec
37- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +5:17 sec
38- Jan de Wit (NTH) +5:24 sec
39- Kevin Peters (NEW) +5:30 sec
40- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +5:51 sec
41- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +6:58 sec
42- Anthony Barker (PEI) +7:41 sec
43- Daniel Borges (IGA) +7:50 sec
44- Mariano José (IGA) +9:19 sec
45- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +10:38 sec


FINAL Sprinter Standings:

1- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 25 pts
2- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) 22 pts
3- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) 17 pts
4- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) 16 pts
5- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) 13 pts
6- João Machado (IGA) 11 pts
7- Katie Skiff (CSS) 6 pts
8- Julius Sundberg (QOD) 5 pts
9- Joe Whittsig (SAR) 3 pts
10- Noah Carlson (SAR) 2 pts
10- Daniel Borges (IGA) 2 pts
12- Michelle Patrick (NEW) 1 pt
12- Michael Albertse (NTH) 1 pt

Congrats to Mike Caverndash of Sorthern Northland for winning the TdQ8 Sprint Title!
NOTE: Danni Nathaniel is wearing the green jersey due to Mike Caverndash wearing the Blue.

FINAL Climbing Standings:

1- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 29 pts
2- Ross Barello (KRY) 27 pts
3- Daithí Meallán (SNO) 26 pts
4- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) 25 pts
5- Carlos Pipp (PEI) 15 pts
5- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 15 pts
7- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) 10 pts
8- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) 5 pts
9- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) 3 pts
9- Marina Bellagge (CAF) 3 pts
11- Jeff McNally (CSS) 2 pts

Congrats to Johnny Pipp of Peisandros for winning the TdQ8 Climber Title!

Up Next: Day 21: Stage 18: Chervan to Qazox City- 82 miles
Preview: The Tour de Qazox finishes with the riders travelling into Qazox City, and travelling down Signa Avenue to Qazian Memorial Stadium where the riders will finish with the traditional 2 laps, one around the outside of the stadium, and finishing within.


Wiki page here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8

Lilian Dazza Greenly with Daisy Cartwheeler

Dazza: Hello this is Lilian Dazza Greenly at Tour de Qazox, I'm with Daisy Cartwheeler who won today's time trial on day 20, stage 17. Hamish Dallas finished 8th, 17 seconds away and poor Heath Stamforger was 35th some 62 seconds slower.
Daisy: I'm happy for myself but I wish Heath did better.
Dazza: It was a time trial and you couldn't help him anyway.
Daisy: I know he's bad time trialler, so sad.

Dazza: You have a stage win finally, must be good.
Daisy: Well, I wish I'd done better in the last few stages. I know I can do better.
Dazza: You beat Mike Caverndash as well. He's good rider.
Daisy: Yes, I helped my teammates by beating him I guess.

Dazza: Overall your are 4th, 33 seconds off the lead. Hamish is 6th - some 59 seconds away and Heath is sliding in 9th - 87 seconds off the lead now.
Daisy: He's always done badly on these speedly stages. It's cost him a lot of time.
Dazza: We might need you to be our leading team rider.
Daisy: I don't deserve to be so highly ranked. I think I'm just lucky to be doing so well.

Dazza: The next stage seems to another fast one.
Daisy: Yes, I'll be trying my best to help my team but if Heath can't make up time, I'll be going for the win myself.
Dazza: Hamish could make a strike too.
Daisy: One of us has to make a big attack and try to steal the title from Mike.

Dazza: This tour has been good still.
Daisy: Yeah, three of us are top 10. Last tour we sucked.
Dazza: Can a Jeruselemite win?
Daisy: We have good riders to beat like Mike and Danni. Marina and Noah are doing well and there's the plenty of other good riders who can still win.

Dazza: You think this is close race.
Daisy: For sure, there's been a lot of different leaders. It's just recently sprinters have moved past the mountain people.
Dazza: 3rd in sprinters standings, could have been better.
Daisy: Yeah, I could have won if I had been more consistent.

Dazza: Well done Daisy.
Daisy: Oh, you skirt fell off.
Dazza: Explains why it was so cold.
Daisy: No undies either ...

Dazza: That's OK, I'm Qazian.

Posted on QBS Tour website.

Top 10 finish now "a stretch"

Team QCS rider Raine Kauniainen admitted it would now be difficult for her to secure a top 10 finish in the Tour de Qazox, despite putting in her all on the final Individual Time Trial for a surprisingly strong 17th place. Not known for her time trialling ability - unlike Julius Sundberg, who put in the best time of the day before Sérgio Alvarenga Borges of Cafundéu and Daisy Cartwheeler of Jeruselem posted quicker times - Kauniainen lost only 33 seconds, but still needs to make up 21 seconds on 10th place Daithí Meallán. His teammate Mike Caverndash leads defending champion Danni Nathaniel in the blue and green jersey standings. Team QCS lie in sixth place.

Unofficial team standings
JRU 163hr:30min:44secs
SNO +25secs
CAF +50secs
QZX +2min:7secs
CSS +5min:41secs
QOD +7min:14secs
KRY +8min:14secs
LOV +8min:27secs
KPL +10min:7secs
TAE +10min:16secs
PEI +11min:19secs
NEW +11min:27secs
NTH +12min:57secs
SAR +15min:21secs
IGA +16min:51secs

One more stage.

That's all that separated Matt Quinlan and Joe Whittsig from the sweet relief that would come with the end of a grueling Tour de Qazox. To say that it has not been a good tour for either Sarzonian rider would be to make a dramatic understatement.

Whittsig has been a permanent fixture in last place since the early days of the tour. As for Quinlan, after residing in the middle of the pack for a while, he began a descent toward the bottom.

However, the third Sarzonian rider has had dramatically different fortunes. Noah Carlson wore the blue jersey of the overall leader one day and has been in the top five for much of the tour. His story of quitting a six-figure job to train full-time in cycling, all the while dodging creditors as capably as Quinlan dodged a potential wreck captivated a growing number of Sarzonians.

Even Quodites started taking to Carlson's story. Before long, the Sarzonian Deaprtment of Health and Athletics agreed to pay Carlson's mounting debts and offered him a relatively modest five-figure salary to train. A cycling organisation was founded in Sarzonia and Carlson would likely become a consultant since he said he planned to compete in the ninth Tour de Qazox.

Health and Athletics officials announced that 1,230 cyclists signed up for the Youth Cycling Programme, and most cited Carlson's competitive racing as the major reason. One official, emboldened by Carlson's success thus far, predicted a Sarzonian would win the race within one generation.

As for Carlson, now that his debts were paid for by the government, his focus was squarely on racing the final stage of this Tour de Qazox. Whether he came home with the blue jersey didn't seem to matter to the Sarzonians who were there to cheer him on. In a larger sense, he won something much bigger than a title.

THIS is it.
Who will Win the Title?
Find out soon!

Thanks to all who participated and hopefully you will come back for TdQ9, whenever it will be.

TOUR de QAZOX STAGE RESULTS
Day 21: Stage 18: Chervan to Qazox City- 82 miles


The Overall Leader will be in BLUE through out the TOUR, and the Climb/Sprint Leaders will be in RED/GREEN (respectively) through out as well. The Stage Winner will be in BOLD (Stage Results only) and the Defending Champion will be in BOLD ITALICS in both sets of standings.


1- Larry Armstrong (TAE) 2hr:28min:53sec
2- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +0:01 sec
3- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +0:09 sec
4- Mariano José (IGA) +0:10 sec
5- Daniel Borges (IGA) +0:12 sec
6- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +0:18 sec
7- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:19 sec
8- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:20 sec
9- Ross Barello (KRY) +0:23 sec
10- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:25 sec
11- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +0:26 sec
12- John Nathaniel (QZX) +0:30 sec
13- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +0:33 sec
14- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +0:36 sec
15- Michael Albertse (NTH) +0:40 sec
16- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +0:41 sec
17- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +0:44 sec
18- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +0:45 sec
19- Kevin Peters (NEW) +0:50 sec
20- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +0:51 sec
21- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +0:53 sec
22- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +0:57 sec
23- Jan de Wit (NTH) +0:58 sec
24- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +0:59 sec
25- Noah Carlson (SAR) +1:00 sec
26- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +1:01 sec
27- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +1:02 sec
28- Hamish Dallas (JRU) +1:03 sec
29- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +1:10 sec
30- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +1:11 sec
31- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +1:12 sec
32- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +1:14 sec
33- Elmo McBain (KPL) +1:18 sec
34- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +1:19 sec
35- Mike Caverndash (SNO) +1:20 sec
36- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +1:21 sec
37- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +1:22 sec
38- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +1:23 sec
39- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +1:27 sec
40- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +1:30 sec
41- Anthony Barker (PEI) +1:32 sec
42- Katie Skiff (CSS) +1:38 sec
43- João Machado (IGA) +1:39 sec
44- Jeff McNally (CSS) +1:42 sec
45- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +1:50 sec


FINAL STANDINGS


1- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 56hr:59min:28sec (also Sprint Champion)
2- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) +0:03 sec
3- Noah Carlson (SAR) +0:24 sec
4- Heath Stamforger (JRU) +0:27 sec
5- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) +0:35 sec
6- Hamish Dallas (JRU)
6- Daithí Meallán (SNO) +0:42 sec
8- Craig Nathaniel (QZX) +0:51 sec
9- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) +0:54 sec
10- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) +0:59 sec
11- Marina Bellagge (CAF) +1:02 sec
12- Johnny Pipp (PEI) +1:38 sec (Climb Champion)
13- Fran Ventoso (SNO) +1:48 sec
14- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +1:49 sec
15- Bastian Schlager (LOV) +2:10 sec
16- Ross Barello (KRY) +2:16 sec
17- Jeff McNally (CSS) +2:40 sec
18- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +2:45 sec
19- Katie Skiff (CSS)
19- John Nathaniel (QZX) +2:54 sec
21- Larry Armstrong (TAE) +2:56 sec
22- João Machado (IGA) +3:00 sec
23- Carlos Pipp (PEI) +3:03 sec
24- Eddie Onassis (KRY) +3:17 sec
25- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) +3:23 sec
26- Michelle Stewart (CSS) +3:36 sec
27- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) +3:38 sec
28- Sebastien Bruel (LOV) +3:40 sec
29- Jacques Martoon (TAE) +3:43 sec
30- Alexander Murton-Smith (KPL) +3:50 sec
31- Michelle Patrick (NEW) +3:51 sec
32- Alan Zimmerman (TAE) +3:53 sec
33- Michael Albertse (NTH) +4:01 sec
34- Ryan Marshall (NEW) +4:26 sec
35- Pedro Alacoa (LOV) +4:30 sec
36- Julius Sundberg (QOD) +4:59 sec
37- Kevin Peters (NEW) +5:00 sec
38- Jan de Wit (NTH) +5:02 sec
39- Elmo McBain (KPL) +5:03 sec
40- Frits Lambrechts (NTH) +5:58 sec
41- Matt Quinlan (SAR) +6:22 sec
42- Daniel Borges (IGA) +6:42 sec
43- Anthony Barker (PEI) +7:53 sec
44- Mariano José (IGA) +8:09 sec
45- Joe Whittsig (SAR) +9:27 sec


FINAL Sprinter Standings:

1- Mike Caverndash (SNO) 25 pts
2- Danni Nathaniel (QZX) 22 pts
3- Daisy Cartwheeler (JRU) 17 pts
4- Sérgio Alvarenga Borges (CAF) 16 pts
5- Anthony Kronenborg (KRY) 13 pts
6- João Machado (IGA) 11 pts
7- Katie Skiff (CSS) 6 pts
8- Julius Sundberg (QOD) 5 pts
9- Joe Whittsig (SAR) 3 pts
10- Noah Carlson (SAR) 2 pts
10- Daniel Borges (IGA) 2 pts
12- Michelle Patrick (NEW) 1 pt
12- Michael Albertse (NTH) 1 pt

Congrats to Mike Caverndash of Sorthern Northland for winning the TdQ8 Sprint Title!

FINAL Climbing Standings:

1- Johnny Pipp (PEI) 29 pts
2- Ross Barello (KRY) 27 pts
3- Daithí Meallán (SNO) 26 pts
4- Leonardo Camargo (CAF) 25 pts
5- Carlos Pipp (PEI) 15 pts
5- Heath Stamforger (JRU) 15 pts
7- Michael Fassbinder (QOD) 10 pts
8- Raine Kauniainen (QOD) 5 pts
9- Ambrosio Roiz Múgica (KPL) 3 pts
9- Marina Bellagge (CAF) 3 pts
11- Jeff McNally (CSS) 2 pts

Congrats to Johnny Pipp of Peisandros for winning the TdQ8 Climber Title!

and CONGRATS to Mike Caverndash for winning the 8th TOUR de QAZOX!

Tommorrow will be the Tour Awards Ceremony.



Wiki page here: http://wikistates.outwardhosting.com/wiki/Tour_de_Qazox_8

TOUR CONCLUDES; CAVERNDASH WINS

Qazox- The Tour de Qazox came to its end tonight, with Mike Caverndash of Sorthern Northland winning the title. On behalf of the Rocket Report, congratulations, Mike! For more on his victory and other strong performances from elsewhere throughout the world, we have provided links to the appropriate websites of each country at the end of this article.

For Keystone Wireless Racing, it become known rather quickly that the Empire has a long way to go do be a force in the world of cycling, if it is road that they wish to take. Michelle Patrick, who has long been the leader at raising cycling awareness in Newmanistan compared this to completing a brutal stage in the mountains, “We’ve seen the mountain, as an Empire, and never attempted to climb it until now. We did in this tour, and even though we did not do it as fast as everyone else, our completion of that task is a major milestone for us and Newmanistanian Cycling. Now we will work on doing it faster, so that when we approach the mountain again, we will have more experience, and we will know what lies on the other side.” There was some question as to whether or not Newmanistan would return to the Tour de Qazox, but Empress Jessica quickly answered that question. “As long as we have riders interested in competing, then they have my blessing and I will encourage them to go for it.”

Patrick was the top Newmanistanian finisher, placing 31st, and 3:51 minutes behind winner Caverndash. Ryan Marshall was 34th, 4:26 back, and Kevin Peters was 37th, five minutes back. Looking at the big picture, there is nothing impressive about those numbers. But now they have experience, and with that should come more confidence if they decide to return for the next one. Or perhaps another Newmanistanian rider, inspired by all of this, will take their place. It wasn’t a complete wash for our riders though, knowing that they could catch the Newmanistan-Qazox World Bowl game after they finished. There, they enjoyed the Rockets dramatic last second victory over the Pheonix. Prior to the game, which we will get into more detail in our World Bowl report, the riders spoke with the players as coach Jeremy Thompson used their journey in the tour as motivation for the players to not give up and not quit when they may be feeling tired.

Posted on QBS Tour website.

Final standings

1. Mike Caverndash (SNO) 56hr:59min:28sec
...
14. Raine Kauniainen (QOD) +1:49 sec (8th)
...
18. Michael Fassbinder (QOD) +2:45 sec (7th, 1 stage win)
...
36. Julius Sundberg (QOD) +4:59 sec (8th, 1 stage win)Team QCS placed seventh overall:Unofficial team standings
JRU 171hr:0min:8secs
SNO +2min:30secs
CAF +2min:55secs
QZX +3min:48secs
KRY +8min:56secs
CSS +9min:10secs
QOD +9min:33secs
LOV +10min:20secs
TAE +10min:32secs
KPL +12min:31secs
PEI +12min:34secs
NEW +13min:17secs
NTH +15min:1secs
SRZ +16min:13secs
IGA +17min:51secs

cyclingdaily.sn
Cav wins Tour by skin of his teeth

http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr245/SorthernNorthland/tdqcavwin.png
Caverndash receives his blue jersey on the podium

Mark Caverndash secured his status as one of the best cyclists in the world on the final day of the Tour de Qazox as he held off a late challenge from defending champion Danni Nathaniel to become the first Sortherner to win the famed blue jersey. Caverndash went into the stage holding a slender lead of just twelve seconds over the Qazian, who was looking to retain her title from Tour de Qazox 7. With the race heading into the two laps around the Qazian Memorial Stadium getting ever nearer to the finish inside the stadium and with Caverndash sitting towards the back of the peloton, Nathaniel seemed to have done just enough to take the jersey in dramatic fashion. Nathaniel made up nine seconds on Caverndash, giving the Sorthern Express the Tour de Qazox title by just three seconds.

Caverndash was understandably delighted upon the confirmation of the results, and being close to tears he declared, “It's a fantastic feeling. There's nothing bigger in cycling than the Tour de Qazox blue jersey. It's a massive win, and full credit to Danni. She took it right down to the wire like fantastic riders do.”

The blue jersey is a perfect ending to the Tour for the Asal éide spóirt – Sorthern Racing team, in what has easily been the best Tour for Sorthern cycling. The blue jersey adds to the green jersey Caverndash had already won in the points classification. Daithí Meallan finished third in the mountain classification coming in just three points behind winner Johnny Pipp. In the general classification Daithí Meallan finished in an impressive 6th in his first Tour finishing with a final time forty two seconds slower than Caverndash's, Fran Ventoso meanwhile finished in 13th place, one minute forty-eight seconds behind Caverndash.

TOUR Superlatives:

Mike Caverndash becomes 2nd straight rider to win both the Overall and Sprint title during Tour.

Most days wearing BLUE jersey: Marina Bellagge (Cafundeu): 7 days

2nd straight Tour no one wore the Blue jersey for longer than 7 days.

Most Stage wins: 3- Eddie Onassis (Krytenia)

Most Days Spent in Top 5: Marina Bellagge (Cafundeu): 15 days
(3rd straight Tour a Cafundelese rider has earned this distinction)

(15) different Stage Winners (tied for most ever)

Jeruselem had all 3 rider finish in Top 10
(Best average finish for a team overall ever (5th))

TOUR de QAZOX Awards Ceremony

MEDIA AWARDS

Best Overall Rider (based on points total): Danni Nathaniel, Qazox (57 points)
Most Impressive Rider: Mike Caverndash, Sorthern Northland
Most Improved Rider: Mike Caverndash, Sorthern Northland
Best Young Rider (under Age 25): Noah Carlson, Sarzonia
Best Stage Performance: Eddie Onassis, Krytenia (Stage 14)
Kyle Cartman Memorial Courage Award: Joe Whittsig, Sarzonia
Best Overall Team: Jeruselem
Veronica Foster Memorial Award (Best Female Rider): Danni Nathaniel, Qazox


ONLINE FAN AWARDS

Most Popular Rider: Noah Carlson, Sarzonia
Most Handsome/Sexiest Male Rider: Johnny Pipp, Peisandros
Sexiest Female Rider: (tie) Katie Skiff, Cassadaigua and Michelle Patrick, Newmanistan

Sarzonia may have come up mostly empty on the medals platform except for third place Noah Carlson, but the Navy and Silver were well represented at an awards ceremony honouring the riders in the eighth Tour de Qazox.

Carlson, who wore the blue jersey after Stage 12, won the Best Young Rider award for riders under age 25 and won an online fan poll for Most Popular Rider. Meanwhile, Joe Whittsig won something other than the Tour's Mr. Irrelevant prize for finishing last. Qazoxian media awarded Whittsig the Kyle Cartman Memorial Courage Award.

"It's a great honour to be recognised by Qazoxian media," said Carlson in a statement issued by the newly formed Sarzonian Bicycle Racing Authority. "I am deeply touched by the show of support from fans and I really appreciate their encouragement."

Carlson's story of quitting a six-figure job to pursue bicycle racing full time in spite of a lack of structured support within Sarzonia captivated a worldwide audience. His consistently top five performance electrified otherwise skeptical Sarzonian audiences and won over Quodite supporters, among others. During the Tour, the federal Department of Health and Athletics announced they would pay Carlson's mounting debts and would finance BRA's establishment.

As for Whittsig, he spent most of the Tour in last place among riders, but continued to compete in spite of his poor standing. He told the Associated Sarzonian Press he was "touched and humbled" by the recognition.

"It really is mind-blowing to realise that your efforts were recognised," Whittsig said. "I don't know how many times I wanted to just quit. I'm glad I didn't now."

None of the three racers would commit to competing in the ninth Tour de Qazox. Fellow Sarzonian Matt Quinlan said now wasn't the best time to ask.

"We're all exhausted," he said. "It'll take me a couple of weeks before I'm even able to walk normally."

However, the three Sarzonians said they were happy they took part in the Tour.

"Absolutely," Carlson said. "It's good to know that we're able to accomplish some good things in sports we're not otherwise known for."