NationStates Jolt Archive

The World Assembly’s Werelden Lakes

"open to all who wish to play"

Joop M. Jørgensen was a lonely immigrant in a peculiar new world that he planned on conquering. He had his score cards pilled in a neat file on his desk, the little miniature pencils sharpened, a row of baskets freshly filled with range balls, and a dozen unused golf carts outside of his clubroom. Jørgensen had lived all of his life in Püntstrasse, Stash Kroh, until he fled to escape religious persecution and lawful decapitation. Here in the land of liberty, and political deadlock…he planned on making his living. He had taken out a loan with a wealthy bank in the area, and purchased some land off the World Assembly to build a golf course adjacent to the Headquarters. The expense turned out to be a real financial undertaking, but he quickly made some deals with Hendrika Lauritsen, a wealthy socialite and heiress to Lauritsen Industries, which gave him the money necessary to build a clubhouse, proshop, and a golf course. The course itself was lavish, and its clubhouse…more lavish. Joop was as excited to see his first customer walk through the door of the clubhouse as much as he was the day the course was finished.

Eduard Heir was a drunken ambassador who apparently had walked down the pathway leading from the ambassadorial gardens to the clubhouse. He was wearing a “dashing” wife-beater shirt, a light parka (in warm sunny weather), and aviator sunglasses. Complete with a scruffy beard, an apparent oxycontin addiction, and a garden shovel.

“Eh, sorry to intrude.. about…five months ago, I planted about half a million dollars in cocaine, and the body of a wealthy auto union president, underground on these premises…somewhere, I didn’t um, realize you planned on making a golf course out of this place.”

Joop was personally shaken; this wasn’t the kind of customer he had been expecting, at least not for a first customer.

“Well, if you would like. I could book you in for a round of golf, and IF you just HAPPEN to find what you’re looking for…well, let’s just say, we shall let it go…hmm?”

Eduard smiled, and nodded his head,

“yeah, that sounds good. Do you have anyone important ready to tee off..?”

Joop smiled nervously and laughed,

“OF course we have someone important teeing off..eh…!”

He flashed his eyes to his blank clipboard that showed no entries, but Jørgensen figured that he could give one of the trolleybus boys an early lunch break, Joop smiled and answered.

“Hhmmm…a VERY significant, young diplomat from um…. *stares at the name of his water bottle*, ….aquaphina..ia…. is scheduled to tee off at twelve thirty, with his trusted advisors”.

Joop figured he could give the cooking staff an early lunch as well. Eduard smiled,

“yeah man, that’s sounds perfect”.

Heir walked away, taking his shovel with him. Joop jumped up for joy as soon as he left the building, his dream had come true. He was an elite golf club manager, of Werelden Lakes, the course of worlds.

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Please Join, there are AlWAYS teetimes available at Werelden Lakes


OOC: I had been planning to create this for a while, I figured our diplomats needed a little game of golf to interrupt the politics that interrupts their drinking.

bump!

Samantha Smith walked cautiously among the luau guests with Alphonse, the duck, under her arm. She was oddly proud of the fact that he wouldn't let anybody else touch him. Now and then, he darted his head out to snap at people who came too close. Sam was wondering, in the back of her mind, if she should take part in the hula contest later that evening, when Mr. Waverly approached. She could see by his expression that he had business in mind.

"Eduard Heir," he said. "I believe you had something of an acquaintence with him."

"Something, yes. Not as much as he wanted."

"Yes." Waverly broke eye contact for a second. "We have word that he's up to something over at the WA, a place called Werelden Lakes. We were wondering if you could put in an appearance and see if you can find out what's going on."

"Tonight?" she asked.

"If you don't mind. Sooner gone, sooner home, as they say."

Sam crouched down to put Alphonse in the kiddie pool. "Will you say my good-nights for me?"

"Of course."

Eduard walked around the club, it was fairly lavish, with doors that made him look dwarfish to stand by. Also, it was quite empty, like a ghost town. Heir looked over at the bar, considering it for a second before walking into the pro shop, figuring he was going to need some rentals.

The women, named Emily, who worked the counter was chewing gum louder than a howitzer, and had a facial expression that looked.. indifferent. Eduard had never seen such a large display of polo shirts and plastic green turf before, the pro shop was a very unsettling place.

The man in the next seat was asleep. Sam unfolded the map as quietly as possible. How much air time had she logged the past few weeks? Unibot and then Ilois on the way home, then UlanPataar, practically on the dark side of the moon. Then home again and now... where? She looked at the map over the top of her glasses. Where the hell was Werelden Lakes?

There should be some sort of bonus for people who flew as frequently as she did, she thought, a discount or at least an extra cookie. She made up her mind to sell her idea to the airlines when she got home.

After Emily found out Eduard was a billionaire (though dressed like a bum), she seemed very enthusiastic in helping Eduard find a putter. She even tried to show him how to use one properly on a mini green, Heir felt just a tad awkward with the reverse gender roles as she manhandled his body to swing the club "properly". He smiled but inside was deeply annoyed by the world's greed, it was in these moments he wished he really was some drugged up bum.

He eventually chose a Avryanian oak shaft, Sahm putter. Which was worth more than most people's houses. Ah, the greed.

The Volkswagen's engine sounded like it was about to explode but Sam reassured herself that that was normal. Her expense account was frugal and she habitually rented the cheapest car available, so she expected to look out of place in a posh golf club parking lot. But she wasn't out of place. She was alone. She parked close to the clubhouse and went inside, looking for some sign of life.

Eduard turned around as he heard a car drive up the laneway; it was the first sign of intelligent life in the club up until then. Through the window he could just make out Samantha Smith. He literally screamed, which made Emily jump and back away. Eduard lost control of his legs, and ran into a wall, breathily heavily before collapsing on the floor. He imagined he looked like a twelve year old girl in the sixties who was about to meet the Beatles, except most twelve year old girls didn’t have to go to AAA meetings, and talk with therapists every week about dealing with their Beatlemania blues. Heir had tried to commit suicide twice in the last five months since their last meeting which had ended with Sam flying past him on a highway, with the entire Unibot army given the direct order to back-off her caravan, which almost got blown to smithereens. He didn’t know much about her really, everything she had told him about herself was apparently a lie to get close to the royal inheritance of a dead war profiteer.

Eduard pulled out his cellphone and dialed the number of his Consultant, Fredrick.

“Fredrick…I’m in real trouble” Heir said this with panic in his voice as he rubbed his body against the wall, hiding from the view of the window.

Fredrick, apparently awoken in his Unibotian penthouse, was not so frightened.
“eh, Eduard, did you kill a hooker, again?”

Eduard shook his head, “no, why does everyone always thinks its that? It was only once, for fucks sake, and SHE overdosed, I didn’t do anything man. No, it’s Sam, Fredrick…Sam Smith, she found me at the WA. What do I do!?”

Fredrick yawned, “I know you’re going to want to talk to her, but you’ll just have to repress your feelings. You’re going to set back your progress if you talk to her. So find a good hiding place, and take deep breaths!”

Heir said thanks, hanged up the phone, and ran frantically around the pro-shop before leaping under a desk to hide.

Sam hadn't put much effort into thinking up a cover story. She didn't know how thick Eduard was, whether he would buy another 'on vacation' story or not. He was supposedly a billionaire and that didn't guarantee that he had a head on his shoulders but it wouldn't do to underestimate him either. She expected that he would know she was lying about her reason for being there but she was willing to gamble that he wouldn't care. He might still be mad at her for ditching him after the Cuckoo's Nest affair but she sensed that, at some level, he would still be glad to see her.

There seemed to be some commotion in the pro shop, so she went in there.

Eduard held his breath. He hoped she wouldn't find him under the proshop desk.

His face was turning smurf blue.

Sam glanced at the woman behind the counter, who didn't seem to care whether she wanted to buy anything or not. "I'm looking for a fellow who's been wandering around the golf course with a shovel." She had decided to go with what she called 'thin cover' - telling the truth, or at least some of it. "Seen anybody like that?"

Emily stared at Sam for a second, and then glanced over at the Pro Shop desk...hoping she wouldn't notice , as she nervously replied..."um...eh, no I haven't seen a person named Eduard Heir around here". As soon as "Eduard Heir" left her mouth, she knew she had made a mistake, she swore under her breath. It was common knowledge that Eduard had made a lot of enemies over the years, like drug dealers, pirates, assassins...Emily didn't want to piss off one of them.

Sam glanced around the room, noticing the desk. "Okay. Thanks." She turned toward the door. It would be so easy to get back in the car and she could be back at the airport and back home in no time. But instead, she added, "Maybe I'll pop back later."

She went back out into the lobby and noticed the door marked 'Office'.

The next day...

Sam leaned against the side of the phone booth and listened as it rang.

"Good morning. Messervy Associates. How can I help you?"

"Mr. Waverly, Please," Sam said. "It's Mrs. Dee."

"One moment please."

Sam watched the traffic go past.

"Samantha."

"Hi." Sam was always relieved to hear his voice. "I don't have the package." She had the distinct impression that Eduard was ducking her deliberately. In a way she was offended but in another way she preferred it like that.

"I see." Waverly paused, as if in thought. "Do you have any hope of success?"

"Not really." The disappeared union leader wasn't even Fatatatutian. They had only sent her to look into it because some of the union members were Fatatatutian and there was some concern for them. If she hadn't known Eduard....

"Very well," Waverly decided, "You'd better come home then. There's been a... situation."

Sam didn't like the sound of that. "Okay. I'm on my way," she said. She hung up the phone and looked at the Volkswagen. In a moment of perversity, she was tempted to ditch it and go home without paying. But there was no reason to make herself unwelcome in yet another country. One quick stop at the hotel and then she'd drop it off at the airport.