8th Di Bradini Cup (RP/Rosters/Scores) [Archive]

Candelaria And Marquez

30-01-2009, 17:54

Candelaria And Marquez National Under-21 Football Squad for the Eighth Di Bradini Cup

The all-new, wordy, not entirely finished yet, C&M Under-21s wiki page (http://www.nswiki.net/index.php?title=Candelaria_And_Marquez_National_Under-21_Football_Team)

Squad:

Manager: Since it’s now traditional, let’s intro him by saying that following in the footsteps of (deep breath) Lloyd Donnelly, Adam Williamson, Andy Le Lan, Jerry Huntick, Trevor Organ, Mark Baker (sort of) and Matt Sampson, comes Jay Zabojnik.

Meh. The CAMAFA still haven’t got around the problem of finding half-decent managers willing to quit their clubs for a brief sojourn to Starblaydia and the hope of impressing a better side somewhere sufficiently to render the experience anything other than a complete waste of time and money. For Zabojnik however, DBC8 is pretty much the last-chance saloon for his career – following periods at Arrigo Portuguese and Candelaria-Allemali, he was last seen leading the C&M women’s team at the Olympics in Columbia, since when his assistant Naoki Tonnelier has gone on to great(ish) things in the CMSC1. And he hasn’t.

Zabojnik is expected to play a less-than inspirational 4-4-2, with his ghastly shoehorning of players likely to provide as good a reason as any as to why this particular group of Candelariasians haven’t a cat’s chance in hell of making it out of the group stage (and nothing at all to do with the fact that the Han, Vanorians and Dancougans are simply better than us).

The team will be reasonable attack-minded however, if only because the defence is truly ghastly, and will likely consist of Murphy – Logan, Plunkett, Barnett, Wilkinson – Saunderson, Sussex (c), Hawker, Pepper – Adams and MacCiochain. This would be, as far as we can remember, the first C&M side in any event to field a starting XI comprising only players with surnames suggesting ancestry in the British Isles, and is likely to engender quite a few hissy fits in certain parts of Marquez at the very least.

Goalkeepers:

1. Nicholas Murphy, Aged 21, Green Island, STARTING GOALKEEPER
Seriously though, we’ve got a modest diaspora these days. Surely we could find someone better from the Sorthern third division? Aaaanyway, Murphy’s playing first-team football for a top-four club, which is more than any other C&M DBC ‘keeper we can remember, and he’s big if rather docile, and he’s… okay. I guess.

13. Christian Fernández Montes, 20, El din Marbles
Another member of the DBC7 squad returns, the lengthily-named Marquezian is merely a back-up to former Cafundelense international Bartolomeu at his club but remains an impressive talent gagging for a regular start – tall and springy, his habit of punching from corners can be deeply exasperating, but he’s bloody good at it.

23. Aaron Turner, 20, Caires FC
An interesting fact: lower league clubs in the Candelarias can produce players after all! Even if Caires FC really shouldn’t count as ‘lower league’ in anything but, y’know, accuracy, but at least they’re starting to pull their weight at not just rely on loans from the CMSC1 giants. Turner’s quiet good, and is a goalkeeper, and, er, well…

Defenders:

2. Matthew Logan, 20, Albrecht FC, STARTING RIGHT-BACK
Le Lan, at the helm of the Scorpions, tends to bring through the club’s many useful kids one by one, and Logan was this season’s newest edition to the first-team. Seen by many as a stop-gap in a problem position, the Songstress native has excelled, and shown himself as a very promising defender who could yet make a commanding centre-half.

5. Jono Plunkett, 19, Albrecht Independent FC, STARTING CENTRE-BACK
Alright, we admit it – never mind goalkeepers, when it comes to central defenders we’re having a mare, and it’s not going to get any better any time soon. Honestly, have you seen our under-17 side? No? No, I suppose not. Why on Earth would you have? Er. Anyway, Plunkett’s very much the best of the lot, and has been a huge factor in the Indies not already being relegated. He’s tall, and that.

20. Kire Barnett, 20, Albrecht Turkish, STARTING CENTRE-BACK
Whereas Barnett here has barely played five minutes for Turkish in this, or any, season – and he still makes the first XI, which tells you everything. Quick, has funny teeth and a mighty afro, and is white. God help us.

3. Oliver Wilkinson, 19, El din Marbles, STARTING LEFT-BACK
Ah, now this is a bit more like it, wot-wot! Not that Wilkinson was expected to get the nod, until Marc Meesschaert pulled out injured, but the lad from the right side of El din’s tracks is quick, solid, intelligent, good on the ball, passes well, and ooh, hasn’t he got lovely eyes? Puts it about a bit, though. As it were.

6. Chris Stewart, 19, AFC MN Smith
The back-up centre-half – and, to be fair, he is actually quite highly rated. Pity he’s only played a couple of professional matches, but warrants inclusion for his ability in the opposition box from set pieces, if nothing else.

12. Harry Bradley, 21, Cathedral City
The only twenty-one year-old defender in the squad, Bradley has been used more as a right wing-back if anything and is awfully lightweight, but he’s at least been holding down a regular spot for the Cats.

18. Campbell Raviranjan, 20, AFC MN Smith
Another CMSC1 regular, this time on the left, the possibly-vaguely-Yaforite full-back is best on the counter and comes with a superb long-ball, and is only a half-decent defender at best. Possibly not then, in that case. Yay for minor ethnic minorities!

Midfielders:

8. Jason Saunderson, 20, Green Island, STARTING RIGHT MIDFIELDER
Oh yes, I remember now. We have another problem area now – right midfield. Saunderson certainly isn’t the answer to that little head-scratcher, but you can’t blame Zabojnik for wanting to fit him in somewhere – amidst all the Vanorians and similar freakiness at Green Island, Saunderson invariably scores on those occasions when he plays, and has a nice little thing going with Sussex. His presence could lead to an awfully shapeless midfield, however.

14. Will Sussex, 20, Green Island, STARTING ATTACKING MIDFIELDER, CAPTAIN
And speak of the devil, Sussex returns having failed to make much of an impact at DBC7. A true box-to-box player who covers an awful lot of ground and fulfils a role in both halves of the pitch that few Candelariasians before him have been capable of, Sussex also has the armband and will play the central role in Zabojnik’s hopes.

16. Jordan Hawker, 17, Cathedral City, STARTING DEFENSIVE MIDFIELDER
Did we mention that we were struggling for holding midfielders too? Don’t let Hawker’s age fool you however – he may be the second-youngest player ever sent to this tournament by C&M, but he has a man’s body and the skills to go with it, with a superb range of passing as well as a powerful shot, while being equally strong in the tackle. By no means a regular for Catedral yet, he never the less possesses all the attributes to be a legend in blue, and sooner rather than later too.

11. John Pepper, 20, Arrigo Portuguese, STARTING LEFT MIDFIELDER
Iain Belling’s stellar career in the second city has been grinding to a sad halt of late, and it’s all thanks to Pepper. A proper goalscoring winger, he lacks both the pace and technical ability of some of his predecessors, but brings some rare solidity to the post.

4. Shaun Gasperritt, 21, Albrecht Independent FC
A powerful defensive midfielder; Gasperritt, who, we feel, has either one R or one T too many in his surname, isn’t in Hawker’s league and comes with something of an attitude problem, but he may still prove to be a useful stopper in the later stages of matches and, frankly, he’s basically all we’ve got left.

7. Luke Williams, 21, Khatib FC
The only proper right-sided midfielder in the squad, Williams’ style is modelled on his mentor Jos Cornelisse, the former C&M international and Tin Hats player-coach. His stepovers and jinky runs have lit up the CMSC2 even while Khatib FC remain stubbornly mid-table, but who knows if he can translate that to the international scene.

17. Darren Robinson, 18, Albrecht Turkish
With a powerful, long-limbed stride and a deceptively accurate shot, Robinson is rather good indeed. Widely expected to play regularly for Turkish this term, their switch to a 4-3-3 has done his chances no good at all – but, when he has been thrown on, he’s been never less than deadly.

21. Macario Oliveira Tavares, 19, Marquez-Onwere
Diego Fernando Pappas’ slightly more lightweight, slighter pacier, clone on the left of the naranja midfield, MOT probably lacks the promise DFP had at this age, but could well end up as the better player. Having forced Merlin Siriwong out of the MarquezOW starting XI, Oliveira Tavares is scoring goals and generally looking a bit useful, even if he threatens to snap into several pieces with every tackle.

Forwards:

9. Kenncoh MacCiochain, 20, Sorbridge Soccer Storm [Kura-Pelland], STARTING STRIKER
Tall, thin and accurate, there is still time for this Baile an Conghaile native to emerge as a top-flight forward for club and country. His other country, anyway. Raised in Melin and now playing in Kura-Pelland (isn’t globalisation great?), he could become a very handy foil for Adams, even if this strike pairing lacks great physical strength.

10. Danny Adams, 21, Albrecht Turkish, STARTING STRIKER
A Bove native now performing in the capital, Adams is the fox-in-the-box to Rotherwell’s steamroller and Innisvale’s trickier proposition at Turkish, but the DBC7 ‘veteran’ also brings height and delightfully swingy elbows.

15. Luke Perry, 19, Albrecht Independent FC
By goals, Perry is the second-best Candelariasian striker in the CMSC1 this season – no mean feat, and certainly not for an Indies player. A natural goalscorer of the right-place-at-the-right-time variety, Perry would probably find the back of the net at least 20 times a season anywhere – though the price is effectively losing a player for eighty-nine minutes a match whilst young Luke spends his time hanging about near the opposition ‘keeper.

19. Cameron Jones, 21, Loudon Leopards [Newmanistan]
Continuing an unusually handy set of C&M forwards, Jones has bulked up of late and changed his game somewhat, becoming less focussed on goalscoring and more on creating. Could lead the line on his own, with a Saunderson or Sussex hanging off him, but he needs to improve in the air and stop worrying about mussing up his rather glorious dreadlocks.

22. Simon Chinn, 19, Albrecht FC
Quite possibly the best of the lot, though he’ll have to wait to be given his chance at Albrecht – or force Le Lan into starting with a front three. In theory, he’s everything you might want – a natural goalscorer (at reserve level, anyway), he also has the height and passing to bring other players into the game and is probably best playing off the striker. But the lacks the experience of the others, and may just be along for the ride.

Kit:

http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w175/candelariaandmarquez/CAMHome4.jpg http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w175/candelariaandmarquez/CAMAway4.jpg

Sorthern Northland

30-01-2009, 18:18

Snorthern national U21 team for the 8th Di Bradini Cup
http://img206.imageshack.us/img206/5357/snfald4.png

Number, name, age, position (n/a for goalies and forwards), club

Goalkeepers:

1: Dirk Weber, 21 y/o, Eastlands
13: Alan Parry, 21 y/o, Areck Furness
23: Piran Hean, 19 y/o, Rothsbere Athletic

Defenders:

2: Daveth Hoskin, 20 y/o, right back, Corcaigh
12: Margh Bastian, 17 y/o, right back, East Reading
3: Charlie Graves, 20 y/o, left back, Corcaigh
22: Aedan Clague, 19 y/o left back, 17th of October
5: Ean Faragher, 19 y/o centre back, Areck Furness
6: Pherick Brew, 20 y/o centre back, James Connolly SC
15: Judicaël Bihan, 18 y/o centre back, CF Sept. de Finistère
16: Padrig Rodic, 18 y/o centre back, Vespucci

Midfielders:

7: Anton Fry, 21 y/o, right winger, Albion Athletic
17: Roparzh Hoëdic, 19 y/o, right winger, Eastlands
11: Uang Shi, 21 y/o, left winger, FC Juahzhou
21: Adamo Carandini, 19 y/o left winger, Vespucci
4: Zhou Zhixin, 21 y/o, central midfielder, Reading Town
8: Marek Krofcky, 19 y/o, central midfielder, Baile an Fheirtéaraigh
14: Pantelis Antoniadis, 21 y/o, central midfielder, Little Greece Olympia
18: Ben Boyce, 21 y/o, central midfielder, Heathfield United

Forwards:

9: Matt Griggs, 20 y/o, Heathfield United
10: Renzo Sportelli, 20 y/o, Vespucci
19: Zulfiqar al-Khattab, 18 y/o, Larne Valley Rovers
20: Iñaki Arrigorriagakoa, 16 y/o, Euskara Portuezki

Manager, Chicão Trombada

Formation is 4-4-2 with a style modifier of +2.
Numbers 1 to 11 for game are the usual starters.
Feel free to make a couple of changes to the line up though.

Kits

Home/Away
http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr245/SorthernNorthland/Asal%20eide%20spoirt/SNWC44kits.png

RP thingy

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod scoring events N
RP injuries to my players Y
Godmod injuries to my players N
Hand out yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out red cards to my players Y
Godmod other events Y (although PM me about it first)

Sarzonia

30-01-2009, 19:28

http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm1/Starblayde/ediraf/SarzHome4.jpghttp://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm1/Starblayde/ediraf/SarzAway4.jpghttp://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm1/Starblayde/ediraf/SarzThird4.jpg
Note: Home kits have a primarily navy colour scheme; away kits are primarily white; keeper kits the third set shown.

I Give My Opponent Permission To:
====================
Choose Scorers: Y
GodMod Goalscoring Events: N

Injure Players: Y (within reason)
GodMod Injury Events N

Red Card Players: Y (within reason)
Yellow Card Players: Y (within reason)
GodMod Other Events: N
====================

Sarzonia Junior Stars: The Return

Manager: Brett Hancock (56 years old)
If Brian Wilson's return as Stars manager was a surprise, Hancock's return to the Sarzonian national football scene was a shock. After a falling out that emerged shortly after Hancock and now-Incorporated Football Federation Chairman Dave Wilson won AOCAF XII, most observers thought Hancock would never sit on a Stars players bench again.
Assistant: Matt Matthews (37 years old)
Matthews only retired from playing for the Portland Timbers three years ago, but he still has the fitness to play a match if needed for a Sarzonian Football Confederation side. His youth will be counted on to relate well to younger players.
Goalkeeping Coach: Troy Perkins (57 years old)
The return of Perkins to the Sarzonian football fold is another major surprise. After Perkins was supplanted as the Stars all time goalkeeper by Horace Sandt, most figured Perkins would simply ride off into the sunset. The return of the team to respectability in its first qualifying effort in 13 Cups brought Perkins out of retirement.

Squad Listing
(Note: Starters in BOLD. Team plays a 4-4-2 alignment with a plus-one modifier.)

No. Name Position Height Weight
1 Mike Henshaw GK 5'11" 165 pounds
Henshaw, 16, was strongly considered to wear the captain's armband even as a goalkeeper and despite being by far the youngest player on the Junior Stars squad. His maturity likely comes from being the son and grandson of goalkeepers who suited up for the Woodstock Wild.

2 Cullen Maxwell D 6'1" 180 pounds
Maxwell, 20, is the actual Junior Stars captain. He has a mental toughness that comes from having a father and an uncle serving in the Incorporated Sarzonian Navy. Maxwell declined an invitation to join the ISN, something that never happens in Sarzonia.

3 Skip Prossett D 5'9" 190 pounds
Prossett, 19, is nearly as physical as Spencer Hicks is on the senior Stars side. However, he doesn't have the reputation for playing dirty football that Hicks does. He is considered the most aggressive player in the weight room for either Stars side, but also runs religiously.

4 Liz Lewis D 5'5" 130 pounds
Lewis, 20, owes some of her ferocity to being the half sister of Hicks. She is not someone even the largest Stars male player would want to be caught with in a back alley. Led her league in send offs for fighting.

5 Jon Putnam D/M 6'1 180 pounds
Putnam, 18, can play both midfield and defence almost equally well. He's better in the midfield because of his ball skills, but takes great pride in shutting down offensive players when he plays defence. He does well with positioning and reading opposing forwards and playmaking midfielders.

7 Erik Murdock D 5'10 157 pounds
Murdock, 20, plays for Woodstock Junior College, where he just began classes even though he graduated from A levels at 17. He has the ball skills to play midfield and the striking ability to play forward, but he excels at shutting down opposing forwards and defenders with speed and anticipation.

8 Elise Raven M 5'7 140 pounds
A daughter of Jenna Raven, Elise Raven maintains some of her mother's ball skills and her leadership abilities. She's 19 years old.

9 Bob Graham M 5'11 169 pounds
An emigre from the former nation of The Lowland Clans, his parents escaped Graham City during the massive war in Atlantian Oceania to an isolated Sarzonia. The 17-year-old said he finds playing for the Sarzonian Junior Stars a "perfect fit" because the Lowland Clans sides were also called the Stars.

10 Jody Nichols F 6'1 210 pounds
The 20-year-old younger brother of Reese Nichols grew up watching Reese score goals and learned from him. He will be counted on to start for the Stars and hopes to bring some offensive punch to the team.

12 Esther Ciccone D 5'6", 127 pounds
Ciccone, 19, nearly made the Woodstock Justice in a rare open tryout for the Sarzonian Football League side. As it stands, she stars on her university's women's football side and is their captain. She has been named the first alternate captain on the Junior Stars.

13 Jared Clayton M 6'3", 200 pounds
The 20-year-old Clayton uses his size to shield the ball from smaller midfielders and defenders and can draw players to him and send excellent through balls to his team's forwards. Sometimes gets too cute with the ball, however.

15 Terry Wood M/F 5'11 175 pounds
The only leftfooted player on the Junior Stars, he turned 20 before the eighth Di Brandini Cup began. With his blinding speed, he often is a deadly second half substitute.

16 Joey Alvin M 5'10" 180 pounds
This 18-year-old is another weight room denizen, but uses that more to play a rugged defensive midfielder than for offensive purposes. Could take over playmaking midfielder in an emergency.

17 Tony Chester F 6'3", 210 pounds
He's 20 years old and has high leaping ability, which makes him deadly in the box on high crosses. Known more as a cherry-picker than someone who can create his own offence.

18 Brianne Walker GK, 6'0, 170 pounds
Extremely burly for a goalkeeper, particularly a female goalkeeper, the 19-year-old nearly won the starting job until Henshaw earned a clean sheet in a match against the Wild. Hancock will not hesitate to turn to her if he feels it's necessary.

The Gupta Dynasty

30-01-2009, 21:20

Naturally, a defensive formation, although this time it will be a defensive 5-4-1, a -1 modifier-wise.
Do whatever you feel like, just don't hurt Kordanin, 'k?
* - starter. Order is goalie, left defender -> right defender, defensive midfielder, left midfielder, right midfielder, attacking midfielder, striker.

The Silver Wolves

It's a rebuilding year for the Silver Wolves, with few stars and a lot of potential. The defense is very deep in terms of talent, but the wings are weak.

Manager: Damien Dulars. Ohmigod, it's a DBC roster from the Yaforites that was actually posted in time. I know, I'm dying as well. Anyway, the first thought regarding Damien Dulars is "who are you?", followed swiftly by "oh, yeah, weren't you a random striker on that Baptism of Fire squad that failed to get out of the group stage?". That would be correct. As it happens, he's also the manager of a side called IYC Kaltar, who are having a rather informative and good LIDYT season (which is a short way of saying that he's the only manager who would spend his World Cup break teaching youngsters how to kick a ball straight). He was a relatively unremarkable striker and tends to be relatively unremarkable anyway. Oh, and in the interest of time, shorter bios for the players, this time.

*1) Goalkeeper: Maeshal Abid. Club: Chelmar FC. Age: 17. He's the heir-designate to Joel Sbaiz (yes, yes, sorry about the lack of umlauts Joeliboy, but I'm too lazy to go and copy and paste it), and has a lot of ability. Like most of the squad, though, he's quite an unknown property and, as a result, it is somewhat in the air whether he will succeed.

2) Goalkeeper: Matthew Kawahara. Club: Chelmar City. Age: 16. Wait, what? Chelmar City are a LIDYT-B "Andrei Arshavin Honorary Division" side! How did the fifth club in Chelmar manage to get a player on this list? Well, in all honesty, he's pretty good, but excluding that for a second, it's also a bit of a proof that we actually have Asian-descended-people in Yafor 2 (Kawahara being partly from Kanami). So, erm, yeah. Affirmative action in action. Or something.

*3) Left/Left Center Defender: Corlan T'saal. Club: IYC Toralen. Age: 17. Wow. He's just really good, I have to say. At the age of seventeen, having had very little youth team experience, the quick and intelligent T'saal is already a mainstay on the starting squad for the side that leads the league. He has excellent awareness and a very good idea of where the ball needs to be - what he needs to do now is bulk up a fair bit and become stronger, both of which he intends to improve on while a part of the Under-21 squad.

4) Left/Left Center Defender: Jyolt Soluun. Club: IYC Kaharan. Age: 17. Kaharan's last useful part that is not on the other side of the world in Candelaria and Marquez, Soluun is also the highest-ceiling player in the Kaharan youth system. Scouts look at him and they love his bog body and power, his strength and his speed. However, at this point, he's really just raw talent - he has never shown that he can succeed or that he is anything but a good-looking young player who, like so many others, will never pan out.

*5) Left/Left Center Defender: Acatur Vandirgan. Club: IYC Hadaris. Age: 18. Another surprise. Hadaris are banking on him to continue to improve as, if he does, they will not have to search abroad for depth in their defense. He's a solid player like so many Yaforite defenders before him, but he also has the added element of speed, so he can mark top-level strikers or move up and down either the center of the field or the sideline, making him a threat for the other team when the Yaforites have the ball as well.

6) Left Center/Center Defender: Tarenin Kalinkir. Club: AAC-Dimrar FC. Age: 18. One of many AAC-Dimrar players. Like much of their team, he's a solid, stolid, intelligent player. He knows where the ball is supposed to be, who is supposed to be holding the ball, and where that person is supposed to be. Like many AAC-Dimrar players, though, his talents physically are limited and it takes his good field vision and intelligent play to keep him on the field instead of other players.

*7) Left Center/Right Center/Center Defender: Turan Actarish. Club: Caires Sports Club [Candelaria and Marquez]. Age: 18. Another player with an insanely high ceiling. He has seen little action for Caires Sports yet, but his versatility in the defense and the fact that he is fully ambidextrous make him a very pleasing prospect for many scouts. On the other hand, Actarish lacks some speed, and while he makes up for it with his size, some doubt whether he can hole the line or not.

8) Left Center/Right Center/Center Defender: Nalaan Agmorin. Club: AAC-Dimrar FC. Age: 17. Another solid backup. AAC-Dimrar have a reputation of cultivating players who might not have a lot of potential but have a lot of intelligence, and thus don't require ability. Agmorin is certainly another player in this mold and the fact that he is backing up Actarish makes an interesting contrast between the two of them, especially if one or the other is substituted off.

*9) Right Center/Center Defender: Fariz Bullar. Club: IYC Ajer. Age: 21. Recently picked up by IYC Ajer, using a bit of their burnable money, Bullar has been a bit of a mistake. A notably lax and lazy player, he has repeatedly skipped practices and come late to games. When he plays, though, he does make an impact. Ordinarily, his coaches don't let him play, understandably.

10) Right/Right Center Defender: Ataral Vagerin. Club: AAC-Dimrar FC. Age: 16. The darling of the AAC-Dimrar side, he is the reason that much of their new found wealth will be going to the midfield. He's just really, really, good. He fits the mold of an AAC-Dimrar player in that he is very intelligent, but he is also like a Kaharan or Uharan player in that he has the body and ability to succeed. The reason that he is not starting is his age - he should be starting by ability, but it is not possibility that defines what players start where, but ability now.

*11) Right/Right Center Defender: N'shaal Vadernin. Club: Ajer FC. Age: 17. A rarity in Yafor 2 in that he is an outside defender who is so thoroughly an outside defender that he ranges up and down the sides of the field. He can pass a bit and cross as well, but his abilities really come in the fact that he can overlap the winger and take a shot in, but otherwise he's basically like any other Yaforite defender.

12) Right Defender: Vagor Vincarel. Club: Cardarel FC. Age: 21. One of Cardarel's main goals in the last offseason was to use the money they received from CF Mont-Pluie to invest in their youth system. The solid Vagor Vincarel is from Chelmar, but he happily agreed on his first professional contract, and joined the club's youth team, where he has performed rather well. They're pretty glad they invested their money in him, to be honest.

*13) Defensive Midfielder: Atoras Riegan (Captain). Club: IYC Toralen. Age: 20. Riegan is the younger brother of Yaforite national team captain Lhatis Riegan, and he already has people telling him that he's far better than his brother. Lhatis also began his career as a defensive midfielder, but, while Lhatis became a center defender as his career progressed, Atoras has, instead, taken the center midfield position as his own. Regarded as one of the greatest talents to ever emerge from the city of Chelmar, Atoras has strength, power, intelligence, speed, and determination in his bag. If there is a criticism, it's his lack of experience in high-stress situations, and it remains to be seen whether he can succeed there.

14) Defensive Midfielder: Aranar Made'er. Club: Caires Sports Club [Candelaria and Marquez]. Age: 17. Another very high-ceiling player, in that Made'er can spell in the defensive midfield, provide a strength and ferocity that very few other Yaforites can give. However, at the same time, he really is all potential, so there is no reason to celebrate him or to look at him as a great player, even if he looks like he will be really good.

*15) Left Midfielder: Alager Adirondu. Club: IYC Uharan. Age: 19. IYC Uharan have big hopes for the lad - their club's greatest weakness is on the wings, with the aging Ago'il and Aldunya as their wingers. Adirondu has done exceptionally well with the youth team and, once he turns eighteen, it is expected that he will immediately take a spot on the Uharan starting team. Now the next question is whether he can consistently perform at that level.

16) Left Midfielder: Makerin Vandiir. Club: IYC Caralian. Age: 17. A Caralian local, Vandiir looks to balance the ultra-attacking Mijak on the other side of his club team by injecting some safe defense into the defensive midfield. Yes. We really don't know if he's any different from the legions of other Yaforite wingers, but here he is backing up others.

*17) Right Midfielder: Masherin Adoried. Club: Chelmar FC. Age: 16. Enalla's eyes, this kid can run. He's a beaut on the track or on the field chasing a football. He's not much for crossing or passing or shooting, but as a dribbler he's just so seductive because of that speed. Mmmm. Speed. Otherwise, he's not really much, at least at this point. He continues Chelmar's tradition of coming up with randomly good wingers.

18) Right Midfielder: Tukmerir Vantilicoor. Club: IYC Vanan. Age: 17. Poached from the Chelmar FC side, Vantilicoor is really nothing special, especially in comparison to the person in front of him. Like Vandiir, he's a defensive-ish Yaforite who is playing on the wing. Like so many before him, we expect him to not really have an impact on anything.

*19) Attacking Midfielder: Danilo Silva (Vice-Captain). Club: None (currently at Imperial Yaforite Sports Academy, Chelmar). Age: 21. Good dribbler. Very good dribbler. He takes the skills of his Cafundelense mother and family to a Yaforite mindset. Usually an attacking midfielder, Isilvarnon Moraedenshar pioneered a new striker force of Danilo Silva and Jamie Durand and, if all goes as he expects, this may be the next great Yaforite pairing. It didn't happen. Silva, who was called up to the national team at fifteen and started several games in the World Cup proper (before he was injured by a defender from Demot), has matured slightly. He's moving back to that attacking midfielder role, as a clear backup to Ilsinha at the national team level.

20) Attacking Midfielder: Sorin Acraan. Club: Caires Sports Club [Candelaria and Marquez]. Age: 20. Another player to once be touted as the next great thing to don a Yaforite uniform, his experience in the CMSC has brought him crashing back down to earth. While he hasn't really been "absent" in the manner of someone like Robbie Sinjinir or Josh Belmore, his impact has been rather negligible, although he's begun to show his teeth in recent matchdays. Hopefully that continues this U21WC. Or DBC. Or whatever it is.

*21) Kordanin Ya'haan. Club: IYC Hadaris. Age: 21. The young hope of the Yaforite national team, Kordanin Ya'haan is best described as "a big kid with quick feet". A striker who has the body to challenge the opposition, but the deft ball-handling abilities to dribble past someone, the twenty-one year-old is another product of an excellent Hadaris youth system that seems to have a knack for producing strikers. Yaforites producing strikers? I know, I was shocked as well.

22) Robbie Sinjinir. Club: Caires Sports Club [Candelaria and Marquez]. Age: 20. Oh god, not him again. Anyway, the half-Candelarisian former wonderkid finds himself backing up Ya'haan. Once he was the hope of the under-21 side, just as he was once the hope of the Caires Sports Club side. A big kid, Sinjinir has shown occasional flashes of brilliance, but like most of the Caires Sports, this season has been a massive disappointment after sky-high expectations once in the future.

23-31) STARTING LINEUP IF WE FACE ELVES: Balrogs 1-8 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balrog) and Gothmog himself (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gothmog#Gothmog). This is because balrogs are awesome (http://www.glyphweb.com/ARDA/b/balrogs.html). They are also more powerful than elves. This is because the exchange-rate for "awesome elf captain" and "balrog" is one to one (http://tolkiengateway.net/wiki/Glorfindel#Gondolin) or even better (I mean, look, Balrogs killed Feanor, who's supposed to be among the best!). There is no information as to whether they are under the ages of twenty-one or whatever, but who's really going to argue (http://tolkiengateway.net/w/images/2/25/Rob_Alexander_-_The_Balrog_of_Moria.jpg)?

Elves Security Forces

30-01-2009, 22:57

From the offices of the VSC does the Marauders information come.

My opponent, if they RP first, may do the following:
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod Scoring Events Y
RP injuries to my players Y (be reasonable)
Godmod injuries to my players N
Hand out Yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out Red cards to my players N
Godmod Other Events Y

Modifier = +1

Kits

http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm1/Starblayde/ediraf/ValHome4-2.jpg http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm1/Starblayde/ediraf/ValAway4-2.jpg
http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm1/Starblayde/ediraf/ValThird4-2.jpg

Home Away Third
For those players listed without Academies, please assume that they are free and open to transfers.

Manager
Alejand Cartain
Age: 12,460
Cartain was certainly uncomfortable using the tactics of his predeccesor and it showed, as the side had a poor showing in the seventh edition. It is through sheer luck that all the other qualified Vanorian managers are not availble, or I suspect that he would have been dismissed. There is talk amongst the players that Kuu is really the one in charge, and Alejand is just a figurehead to appease the Vanorian fans.

Assistant
Jamie Kuu (Starblaydia)
Age: 39
After a brilliant career with Raynor City United, and with his country, the VFA have decided to take a risk on the Starblaydi. Despite the rivalry between the two countries, Kuu was happy to agree. While it does not appear that he has all the makings one would want for a managerial position, he does know how to win. When the final whistle is blown, the victory is all that matters, and if he can help the mini Marauders do that, then the gamble is worth it.

Keeper
1 Amras Táralóm, Juavi Academy
Age: 20
Sex: M
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 178 lbs
An increasing trend is to put the most athletically gifted of the keepers between the pipes, even if they have hardly been polished. Amras breaks this trend, as he is both athletically gifted and polished enough to not make many mistakes. He has a hard time getting to the balls right next to his feet, but that is one of his few weaknesses for a player his age.

Defenders
2 Valaina Tinúviel, Green Island (Candelaria And Marquez)
Age - 21
Sex - F
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 157 lbs
Tinúviel is a speed demon who also know how to mix it up in the middle of the park when things tend to get a little rough. She is best suited for playing out on the outside of the park where she can use he speed and agility to augment the attack, but is also smart enough to know how to control the backline as a centerback. Her intelect and natural ability is one of the many reasons why this unattached lady starts.

6 Lenwë Palantír, Valanari Academy
Age - 21
Sex - M
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 152 lbs
A gritty and rough defender who likes to push around his markers, however he knows how to do it without accumilating too many cards. As ever, the Valanari instructors have made Palantír better than most people thought he could have been. One has to wonder just what those Valanarii do to make their prospects that much better.

3 Uruviel Eärfalas, Char Sara Academy ~
Age - 19
Sex - F
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 142 lbs
If you ever wanted to get your teeth punched out by a red headed lass, then Uruviel is just the right woman for you. Tough, bad attitude, and one heck of a knack for defending makes this lady a firecracker.

Midfield
8 Lólindir Culnámo, SC Lasft (Cafundeu)
Age - 19
Sex - M
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 162 lbs
What do you get when you put an extraordinary amount of speed into the chizzled frame of a defensive stopper? Well, I'm not exactly sure, but it's bloody scary mate, and that is what Culnámo is to a point! He doesn't speak too much, but when you look like you can tear an arm out of it's socket, you don't need much use for words.

5 Daeron Elanessë, Wexax Academy ~
Age - 20
Sex - M
Height: 5'9"
Weight: 148 lbs
If you weren't completely terrified by his partner, the Daeron is going to have you just plain confused as he runs circles around you. Needless to say, he is not the best header of the ball, yet he tends to be that "invisable" man on corners and set pieces. Still working on his marking and techniqual abilities.

7 Celahir Melwasúl, Gladerial Academy
Age - 21
Sex - M
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 164 lbs
One of the few players on the squad that is not gifted with a ridiculous amount of pace, he does however possess a golden touch for crosses. Certainly not the best of players, but he fits into the system nicely and has shown good vision during the training camp.

10 Elendil Amandil, Chelmar FC (Yafor II) ~
Age - 21
Sex - M
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 159 lbs
An excellent attacker midfielder, who showed that despite his relative easiness to get onto the squad that he was worth. Despite not being able to repeat as champions, Elendil showed his prowess, and is the only returning attacking player. He is going to need to step up his game, given he was awarded the captaincy, if the mini Marauders wish to retake their spot at the top of the DBC hierarchy.

4 Eredhien Isilianrin, Hondo Academy ^
Age - 19
Sex - M
Height: 6"0"
Weight: 156 lbs
Isilianrin becomes the first Dark Templar to ever suit up for any Valanora national team. It is unclear whether or not he and his kind will be allowed to play at the senior level, with several people complaining that they have an unfair advantage at being invisable. Eredhien does not care one way or the other, as he merely looking to fit into the Vanorian society, and football seemed the best way to go about it.

Strikers
9 Berônion Gwaeth, Wexax Academy
Age - 20
Sex - M
Height: 6"1"
Weight: 166 lbs
Gwaeth is an average striker at the best of times, but he has seemed to develop a decent chemistry with Arawen. His best attribute is his wicked shot from distance, one that has enough power behind it that keepers simply can not handle it and are forced to parry it away.

11 Arawen Kevaeredal, Kareen Academy ~
Age - 19
Sex - F
Height: 5'8"
Weight: 144 lbs
We have not seen a striker of Arawen's capabilities since Calla Soler was on the team. Granted that many a fine strikers have played for the under twenty one side, but Arawen is the complete package at such a young age. Enough pace to get by most defenders, a deft first touch, and a nose for goal that is second to none.

Reserves
GK: 12 Fallaiiel Galadiir, age 19, Wexax Academy (F) ^
GK: 23 Mátaanien Haerina, age 17, Valanari Academy (M)
CB: 13 Raina Runendthor, age 18, Night Academy (F) ~
CB: 14 Arotias Súrin, age 21 (M)
CB: 15 Harcaelien Kevayalal, age 18 (M) ^
LW: 16 Landamáron Yraunae, age 19, Valanari Academy (M)
RW: 17 Lothrauniel Ealosumé, age 19, Capri Academy (F)
MC: 18 Galanion Lassthanrin, age 20, Rinaldi Academy (M) ~
MC: 19 Melira Yrausumé, age 19, Night Academy (F) ~
AMC: 20 Gilraen of Dorthonion, age 21, Longview Academy (F)
ST: 21 Valtheldorien Ealovaul, age 19, Green Island (Candelaria And Marquez) (M) ~
ST: 22 Lona Tathvir, age 17, Mar Sara Academy (F)

Táralóm
Tinúviel Palantír Eärfalas
Melwasúl Culnámo Elanessë Isilianrin
Amandil
Kevaeredal Gwaeth

Captain: Elendil Amandil
Left Corner: Eredhien Isilianrin
Right Corner: Celahir Melwasúl
Set Pieces: Eredhien Isilianrin
Penalty Taker: Arawen Kevaeredal

~ Denotes Vyintanese
^ Denotes Templara

Cafundeu

30-01-2009, 23:23

CCFM RELEASES ANOTHER LIST OF UNKNOWN PLAYERS
TO PLAY ANOTHER U-21 COMPETITION

Style: Very Offensive

Here is the list of 23 players (number-name [age, team, rating]):

Use the BOLDED names of my players, but not in all capitals, when RPing

Goalkeepers:

1- MURILO Fonseca (20, América, A)
12- TOM Silva Prado (18, Rio Bonito, B)
22- Edgard GARRIDO (19, SC Lasft, C)

Full-Backs:

2- LEONARDO Aragão (20, A.F.F., A)
6- Erik Paviani Moura "PEIXEIRA" (21, Carandirú, B)
14- Armando Capixaba Mathias "BATORÉ" (18, Galáxia, C)
16- Dênis Valente PEDROSO (19, Galáxia, C)

Defenders:

3- Ulisses LEMOS (19, Soldarian FC [ESF], B)
4- WILLIAM Silva Jerônimo (20, Albrecht FC [C&M], A)
13- BRUNO Mendonça Schiffer (18, América, B)
21- Válter Caxias Tubaína "CÃO" (20, Ranca Toco, C)

Defensive Midfielders:

5- WERNER Costa Gausmann (19, Atlético Jutense, B)
15- KLÉBER Gonçalves (20, Atlético Insular, B)
17- Manoel Figueira "MANÉ" (17, Petardos S/A, B)
20-Gustavo Hermann Vasari "GUGA" (20, A.F.F., B)

Offensive Midfielders:

7- ANDRÉ Flávio Costa DINIZ (18, Clube Imperial, B)
8- MIGUEL Duarte SILVA (19, Galáxia, B)
10- Marcos Durvaldi PAQUETÁ (20, Ranca Toco, A)
23- Edson Barbieri Gonzaga "EDINHO" (20, São José, C)

Attackers:

9- RAFAEL Borges de NUNES (18, Metropolitano, A)
11- Anti ILMARI (21, Cafundó do Juta, A)
18- WANDERLEY de Paiva (21, Albrecht FC [C&M], B)
19- Júlio Barros Kardim AMATE (17, Galáxia, C)

Coach: Ensio Varg (from Squornshelous)

Formation (offensive 4-3-3):

------------------------------Murilo------------------------------
-----Leonardo---------William--------Lemos-----------Peixeira-----
------------------------------Werner------------------------------
---------Miguel Silva------------------------André Diniz----------
------------------------------Paquetá-----------------------------
------------------Anti Ilmari----------Rafael Nunes---------------

Sorthern Northland

31-01-2009, 00:24

http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr245/SorthernNorthland/SNpaper.png

Cancelled passports, terrorism, violent swans. It's Di Bradini time!

Another World Cup has passed, and the attention now falls, albeit briefly onto the eighth edition of the Di Bradini Cup, or as the hosts tell it, the twenty-ninth under 21's World Cup. Whilst it may not officially have that status, it is indeed for all intents and purposes a de facto under 21's World Cup, which has found a new home in Starblaydia. A home it returns to having spent a holiday in Candelaria And Marquez for the seventh Di Bradini Cup. It's return “home” is something, we surely all agree on, for whilst the Candelarians may make fantastic hosts, those swans of theirs are a bloody nuisance. Although on the other hand I wouldn't trust any of these so called “mallards” that wander Starblaydi waterways as far as I could throw them. Or these bazalopes that are supposedly farmed in Starblaydia for use in Bazaburgers.

Over the years, the Di Bradini Cup has been eventful for Sorthern teams, the third edition of the cup saw the new Sorthern flag makes it's début, with commentators from Canderlaria And Marquez calling it “good”. And that wasn't enough excitement to make you soil your pants, then boy was the fourth cup an exciting one. If the sort of thing that excites you is a bunch of footballers getting their passports cancelled and then getting stranded in an airport for a couple of weeks. Then just one things appeared to have calmed down, along came the sixth Di Bradini Cup, and the rise of terrorist group, Ríora Urraim dtí Inisnadún Náisiún (RUIN) who attempted to blow up a stadium in Tabeck, whist also finding the time to kidnap the Sorthern U21 team's manager, Bryn Evans. Action packed to say the least. And that's before we even mention the seventh Di Bradini Cup, which saw a violent unprovoked attack of terror as Sorthern striker Jon Andrews was brutally attacked and hospitalised by a swan, which not only left a dark cloud over the tournament, but also left Sorthern Northland with a national phobia of large white water faring birds.

Whilst there's been all that action off the pitch, from a Sorthern point of view there's been little of note on it, apart from the one occasion where they made it to the semi-finals. Only to be beaten by Newmanistan for the second time in a matter of weeks. And then there was the time when they were knocked out in the quarter finals by Newmanistan. Sorthern players and fans then won't be to happy that the group draw placed Newmanistan and Sorthern Northland in the same group. Or to put it in the words of Sorther keeper, Dirk Weber, “fuck!”.

This time though it will be different. It will be because the players themselves have said so, they've said they can win this tournament, that past failures won't adversely affect them, and let's be frank, they aren't going to be wrong are they? Right?

Taeshan

31-01-2009, 04:24

Isaac Newton 43 20 GK Ranju(Daehanjeiguk)
Chuck the Duck 7 20 LD Laketown Pythons
Alan Pearsin 77 20 CD New Capetown Falcons
Rickys Meyerse 11 20 RD Wannum(Daehanjieguk)
Axe Lewis 8 20 RM Atlantea Hurricanes
Jake Del Rio 33 20 RCM Capetown Crocs
Zack the Geek 17 20 LCM Capetown Crocs
Myan Inca 44 20 LM None
Alan Gregory 42 20 LS Pyeonyang Gukjei
Jamie Spenser 23 17 CS Ying Jing Yankees
Ricky Zellefrow 14 20 RS Wiechester FC
SUBS
Argentin Royal 2 20 GK None
Zeke Rogers 3 20 D Wolfin Wolves
Steve Komen 4 20 M Bayern Phoenix
Theo Aztec 5 20 S None

Daehanjeiguk

31-01-2009, 04:29

You have permission:

to do anything to my players except kill them (without my permission);
to RP about anything, anytime, anywhere (preferably on a computer);
to make no sense at all (in moderation...);
to invent a new story about anything so as to make reading this junk more enjoyable;
to change the goal-scoring margin by as many disallowed goals as you'd like;
to play by the rules that I will make up in 48 days;
is this thing still on?
to play a 13-0 scoring margin, just as long as your don't %$#^ up the scorinator...
TO HAVE FUN!

http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/Football/daehanjeiguk.png

http://i159.photobucket.com/albums/t156/daehanjeiguk/Football/kit-youth.png

Playing Style: +2

Manger: Yu Giheung [유기흥]
We're also bringing the ex-convict stick whacker as an official "coach of great inspiration".

GK
Kim Seungho (Goryeo University, 19, M)
Yi Manchoe (Armed Forces FC, 16, M)

DF
Wang Hongdae (Dongguk University, 20, M)
Seo Bancheol (Malla, 20, M)
Kim Iljun (Shaolin FC, 19, M)
Go Seonghan (Yonsei University, 18, M)
Yi Taeyun (Bokgeon, 17, M)
Baek Sonjo (FC Samseong, 18, M)
Jang Yongmin (Goryeo University, 18, M)

MF
Yi Anhae (Goryeo University, 20, F)
Gang Donghyeok (Buddhist FC, 18, M)
Han Jungan (Goryeo University, 19, M)
Pak Jiseong (Armed Forces FC, 16, M)
O Sunghwan (Armed Forces FC, 17 M)
Yim Gwangdae (Dongguk University, 18, M)
Yi Sunae (Goryeo University, 19, F)
Wang Cheondu (Shaolin FC, 20 M)

ST
Pak Taehwan (Dongguk University, 18, M)
Kim Gyeongan (Armed Forces FC, 17, F)
Kim Jungdae (Yonsei University, 20, M)
Jeong Seonnam (Manju, 19, M)

Daehanjeiguk

31-01-2009, 05:37

ooc: Here's hoping some DBC craziness does some wonders for us...

SUPER: Alright, people! It's DBC time, and for some reason, you guys are extra perky when it comes to DBC time. So here's how we're going to run this. Hwang and Wang are not going to be touching the controls of anything anytime during matches...

Wang: But I don't like watching football...

SUPER: Shut up, Wang. Pay attention. Shin and Shim are going to be at the controls for the entire time during the matches.

Hwang: But I like watching the little Hannies play.

SUPER: I know, but you screw so many things up.

Hwang: Well, you talk to the average Canderlarisian! Their country is now culturally endowed because of the appearance of those singing beans!

SUPER: Well... I wasn't talking about that. I'm talking about... other stuff. Anyway, bad things happen when I leave you freaks in that Control Room, even with these fine ladies. So the best alternative is to have you not inside there. In the meantime, Shin and Shim are both competent control workers, who will monitor the insanity in the world and prevent bad stuff from happening to the Empire. This is important work we do here.

Shin: What happens if the Han U21 are going to lose a match, at the expense of some random Non-RPing n00b country?

SUPER:... That doesn't make much sense, but I suppose whatever helps the Han... Good grief...

Shim: I'm sorry. The correct answer was 'Everything to make the Han win, even at the expense of some random Non-Rping n00b country.'

SUPER: Well, we've been sleeping on the job apparently. In the time that we were sleeping on the job, the Mujeongbu...

*alarm goes off*

SUPER: Well, %$#^ that... *tranquilizer dart shoots SUPER in neck*

Shin: You'd think that he'd have learned from the last time...

Wang: Well, as long as Hwang gets to watch football from outside the Control Box, I don't think any of us will have any problems.

Shim: Actually, that will be a problem.

Wang: Why?

Shin: Hwang is dysfunctional, haven't you noticed? His sole aim and intention in life is to cause destruction. He's like a great Satan trapped in a stupid mindless lifeform. Although he's cute when he goes all crazy...

Wang: *sighs* I remember the good old days when Hwang wasn't as crazy as he is now... it's like he's got some progressive degenerative neurological disorder that makes him more and more insane every passing day...

Hwang: Dude, I'm standing right next to you.

Wang: That's not what I'm talking about...

Hwang: I can hear you criticizing me for being so genius.

Wang: You see? You wouldn't believe me if I said Hwang was the one who was better at this job than I was. In fact, he probably still is the best one among all of us. The problem is that he can't stop pressing all off those %$#^ buttons.

Shin: Wang, stop talking as if you're leading some %$#^ documentary.

Wang: Sorry, I was being a little too reflexive.

Shim: Sooo... what do we do for thirty minutes now? I figured we wait for the SUPER to awaken and give us our assignments.

Wang: If I'm correct, we already have our assignments...

*door buzzes*

Shin: Who the heck is at the door?

*random dude yells "Pizza!"*

Hwang: Oh, yay! Pizza! *runs to pick up pizza*

Wang: You ordered?

Hwang: Well, I figured it's time to stop eating all of the popcorn...

Shim: So you ordered pizza? From outside?

Hwang: Something wrong with pizza from the outside?

Wang: STOP HIM!!! HE KNOWS!!! *everyone minus Hwang chase the pizza delivery guy*

Hwang: If they wanted pizza, they should have asked me. I'd have ordered for them too...

Newmanistan

31-01-2009, 07:42

DI BRADINI CUP 8 ROSTER

For the first time in their history, Newmanistan participated in a Di Bradini Cup and failed to make the final. Can this group of kids get the team back to that level? This is a very young team, all things considered. You may recall that many members of the senior team jumped ship from the Newmanistan Premier League and into other foreign leagues. These players should be considered just as widely available, if interested.

If my opponent RP’s first they may:

Choose my goalscorers: Yes
Godmod scoring events: Yes
RP injuries to my players: Yes, but just to the extent of saying so and so was injured. I’ll determine the severity.
Godmod injuries to my players: No
Hand out yellow cards to my players: Yes
Hand out red cards to my players: Yes, but no more then 1 per game.
Godmod other events: TG your idea for approval first. No deaths or crazy sci-fi stuff.

** COACHING STAFF **

Manager: Brian Carson
Age: 57
Club Team: Pocono City Capitals
Background: Carson continues to lead the U-21 team. He has been this since the 4th Cup, and given that he has led the team to three finals, including one championship, you would be hard pressed to find another coach at this level that has had this same level of success in this Cup. He is regarded as an outstanding motivator and a tactical wizard. Carson rarely loses his cool on the sidelines because of his personal belief that if he loses it, his team will, and he believes in leading by example. Which will be important with this roster as it is a very young group, overall.

Assistant: Chris Merrill
Age: 50
Club Team: Dover City Mountaineers
Background: Merrill has been the assistant coach in the previous four Di Bradini Cups, and even though they coach rival NPL teams, they have a good rapport with one another at this level. Why mess with a good thing? He’ll be back.

****STARTING LINEUP ****

GOALKEEPER
Name: Andrew McClure
Pos: GK
Age: 20
Jersey #: 1
Club Team: South Tier Seagulls
Bio: McClure’s rise to stardom is your classic tale of hard work and determination. It took him a while to get the hang of this goalkeeping bit, but once he did, his career has completely taken off. He started for the team in Di Bradini 7 as well, and had a great Cup, up until that quarterfinal with Candelaria And Marquez that went to penalties where he completely struggled. Since then, he has worked on defending penalties quite a bit and has improved.

DEFENDERS
Name: Curtis Stilwell (*** TEAM CAPTAIN ***)
Pos: LB
Age: 21
Jersey #: 5
Club Team: South Tier Seagulls
Bio: South Tier has been rapidly improving on defense, and Stilwell is a big reason why. The hard-nosed defender is fearless and will always do what it takes to make a big play in the back. Being a teammate of McClure’s will help, too. Curtis also participated in the 7th Di Bradini Cup, experience which will be invaluable as he is the only returning defender (anywhere in the lineup) that did. That’s what happens when almost all your defenders were 20 or 21 last time.

Name: Matthew Coulson
Pos: LCB
Age: 16
Jersey#: 3
Club Team: Stroudsbourg Panthers
Bio: Coulson is average defender in terms of his appearance and height, but not in terms of heart. He is future captain material who does his best to lead by example. He has played one year in Stroudsbourg, a low-level NPL team, so he has gotten plenty of time defending star forwards. Coach Carson is very confident in his overall ability. He has great awareness, especially considering his age.

Name: Shawn Loughran
Pos: RCB
Age: 16
Jersey #: 4
Club Team: Concord City Lions
Bio: Loughran is a future superstar and a potential long term fixture on the senior team. Quite a find for the small market Lions, who were recently promoted from the B League, Shawn has impressed in every way. He can be physical, but is very smart about it, and if you thought Coulson’s defensive awareness was something special, then you haven’t seen Shawn’s! Loughran has tremendous speed and agility, and is one of the first people to get to practice every morning and one of the very last to leave.

Name: Robert Selvy
Pos: RB
Age: 18
Jersey#: 2
Club Team: Tundra Falls Mariners
Bio: At 16, Selvy won the league’s Rookie of the Year award with the Mariners, which is pretty impressive because usually the voters in the media get consumed by goal scoring numbers. Robert has maintained a high level of steady performance since then. His strength is his best attribute, but he plays smart as Tundra Falls veteran, and former Di Bradini Cup winner Tony Borsinger, has been a terrific influence.

MIDFIELDERS

Name: Stanley Rocco
Pos: LM
Age: 21
Jersey #: 9
Club Team: Loudon Leopards
Bio: Rocco can be both an offensive and a defensive midfielder, and that versatility will come in handy. He can be also be a very physical player Rocco can also have a bit of attitude problem, and coach Carson will hope that doesn’t become an issue, it wasn’t in the last Di Bradini Cup, and Rocco’s veteran leadership will be needed on this young team as he is only returning midfielder, anywhere on the roster.

Name: Jimmy Gavin
Pos: CM
Age: 19
Jersey #: 8
Club Team: Tundra Falls Mariners
Bio: After spending two years in the C League with Wrentham, Gavin was picked up by Tundra Falls, and the team was impressed by his ability to make the adjustment. Of the three starting midfielders, Gavin has the most speed and agility, making him most likely to be scoring goals amongst these players. One knock on Gavin is that he shies away from contact, so we’ll have to see how that plays out. The next person should keep aggressors at bay, though.

Name: Billy Prescott
Pos: RM
Age: 16
Jersey #: 17 (just like his dad)
Club Team: Dover City Mountaineers
Bio: His father is a legend. Most people somewhat familiar with our senior team know all about Brett Prescott, the aggressive enforcer who is assigned to the opponent’s top forward to rough them up and get in their head. Well, Billy has been watching and learning from the best. Now it is his time, and after being tendered a contract by nearly every team in the NPL, Billy opted to sign with Dover City, the team his father played for before he transferred over to A.F.F. in Cafundeu. Is Billy as good as his dad? We’ll see, but he sure plays like him. And he has that often forgotten thing his dad could do too, having a very good accurate shot.

STRIKERS:

Name: Tony Dempster (*** ALTERNATE CAPTAIN ***)
Pos: LS
Age: 19
Jersey #: 16
Club Team: Brighton Bulls
Bio: Dempster has just signed a contract to play with the Bulls while the team was still in the B league, and is one the biggest reasons why the team has since been promoted and even advanced into a midtable position. Tony is a speedster and a pretty good finisher. Look for him to be the leader of the three forwards, but he will probably be somewhat more of a setup man then a goal scorer.

Name: Matthew Turner
Pos: ST
Age: 16
Jersey #: 11
Club Team: Olympia Gladiators
Bio: Look for Turner to be the go-to player for this team. He is wise beyond his years in his ability to read the defenders and anticipate what they may do. He doesn’t particularly care how accomplished someone may be, he will take challenge anyone at anytime. He can win many of these battles due to his outstanding agility. Look for Dempster to get a lot of plays started and for Turner to be right there in position for a score, although Matthew has plenty of speed himself. In an ironic bit, Turner was born on the day Newmanistan won the 4th Di Bradini Cup.

Name: Michelle Clausen
Pos: RS
Age: 17
Jersey #: 12
Club Team: Thumbria Bay Sharks
Bio: When Thumbria Bay signed Clausen, they had no idea they were getting a Di Bradini caliber player. In her two years with the team, she has progressed greatly, showing nice chemistry with their star midfielder, Brian Rafferty. Clausen is a finisher and plays the game with a fearless attitude. Who knows how much better she’ll get and she is certainly a player to watch. The one concern some might have is while she isn’t afraid of physical contact, her slim figure does allow her to be overmatched sometimes.

**** SUBSTITUTES ****

Name: Justin Graham
Pos: GK
Age: 20
Jersey #: 21
Club Team: Thumbria Bay Sharks
Bio: Graham has impressed coach Carson mainly due to his vision and anticipation skills. He’s an acrobatic keeper, so when he makes a great save, it will definitely make the highlight reel. He was also the substitute on the last team.

Name: Keith Capstraw
Pos: CB
Age: 16
Jersey #: 7
Club Team: Daytopia Racers
Bio: With the youth of the starting defenders, one should not automatically assume that Capstraw will not see any starting time if things did not go well. However, look for him to get a lot of time off the bench in each game. Carson will want to make sure he gets him a lot of experience as well. Keith is a tall and very physical defender who will take on anyone. Composure is a shortcoming. He loses his cool sometimes, making Carson think he would be better in this kind of a role.

Name: Mark Vincent
Pos: CB
Age: 18
Jersey #: 6
Club Team: Brighton Bulls
Bio: A defensive defender. Very conservative in the way he plays and he always seems to be in good position. He has good height to win jump balls, and above average strength to fend off attackers.

Name: Michael Pattison
Pos: MID
Age: 15
Jersey #: 18
Club Team: Pocono City Capitals
Bio: A testament to the scouting staff of the Capitals to go out and find this Olympia native and bring all the way across the Empire to play in Pocono City. It is expected to pay off with Pattison, who has an outstanding shot. He could play up front more, but it is his toughness and better then you would expect defensive awareness that makes him better suited for the midfield, which was a big hole that Pocono City needed to address.

Name: Andrew Draper
Pos: MID
Age: 16
Jersey #: 14
Club Team: Putnam Lake Eagles
Bio: Draper is a defensive midfielder who figures to be used only when the team is looking to preserve a late lead. Due to great speed, Andrew is a pretty tough player to have to go up against, and he doesn’t mind being an aggressive one himself.

Name: Corey Cutler
Pos: ST
Age: 15
Jersey #: 13
Club Team: Fairfield City Admirals
Bio: This kid is really something special and will be a go-to player in Di Bradini 9 for sure. For now, Corey is still learning to make his way, but he has all the essentials. He is tall and speedy, able to beat defenders with fancy dribbling or for a header. Cutler is also very composed and mature for his age and should be captain material one day as he gets older. He’ll get quite a bit of action, but Carson didn’t want to put too much pressure on him quite yet. Many think he is fundamentally better then Michelle Clausen.

Name: Dave Sommerville
Pos: ST
Age: 18
Jersey #: 15
Club Team: Portsmouth Whalers (B League)
Bio: Sommerville has been a prolific scorer for Portsmouth, and the Premier League teams are well aware of his skills, but since Portsmouth expects to get back in the NPL, they have refused every transfer offer that has come their way. Sommerville doesn’t quite have the speed as the other strikers so he won’t usually initiate a rush, but he has an uncanny ability to get to rebounds and score from being the “second man in”.

**** RESERVES ****

Name: Jennifer Bennett
Pos: GK
Age: 15
Jersey #: 22
Club Team: Seminole Bay Gators
Bio: Jennifer becomes the first female goalkeeper ever to make any national team, so congratulations are certainly order even though the likelihood of her actually probably is very slim. But with the two keepers in front of her each being 20-years old, the chances of her starting in Di Bradini 9 after getting this experience have to be very promising. Her father, Scott, was a successful keeper in his day.

Name: Trevor Marshall
Pos: CB
Age: 17
Jersey #: 25
Club Team: Centralia Cougars
Bio: Centralia just keeps producing the young defenders, and in Marshall, they have one very rough and aggressive player. Though just having average height, Trevor makes up for it by excellent strength. He had a tough time choosing becoming a hockey player or a football player, a decision that Centralia helped him make with their big contract offer and the prestige that comes along with playing in their system.

Name: Meghan Vilardi
Pos: MID
Age: 17
Jersey#: 10
Club Team: Southport Tigers
Bio: Meghan is the younger sister of our well known set of twins, Jennifer and Shannon Vilardi, who each played in the Di Bradini Cup and are presently with the senior team. Meghan probably will not be quite as good as them, but she will be looking to make a name for herself too. Because the Vilardi twins often made Meghan be the goalkeeper when they practiced their shooting as young girls, Meghan picked up some pretty good defensive instincts, which she would build on, she’s become a midfielder while the twins are strikers.

Name: Brittany Prescott
Pos: MID
Age: 14
Jersey #: 71
Club Team: Dover Town Mountaineers (B League) via loan from Dover City
Bio: The scary thing for the world, perhaps, is that the great Brett Prescott has more then just one kid. Brittany is a little young for regular duty, but deserves this spot on the team to get the experience. Don’t think for a second that she is any less a Prescott then her father or her brother, and in fact Brett jokes that Brittany is the tougher one just because Billy would make her that way in a whole sibling rivalry kind of thing. There is an 11-year old Brian Prescott, too, but we’ll wait to Di Bradini 9 for him.

Name: David Grasso
Pos: ST
Age: 15
Jersey #: 19
Club Team: Springfield Thoroughbreds
Bio: Still a little raw, Carson has been impressed with Grasso’s finishing touch in his early days with the Thoroughbreds. He has pretty good, but not mind-blowing speed to go along with it. He has to develop more and put on a little more muscle to have long term success, but at this level, he will be fine.

Secristan

31-01-2009, 11:14

They are the defending champions but that did not happen overnight. They were brought together because their wealthy parents bid for their spots on the team as they wanted to live their sports fantasy through their children. What made them a team was the inspiration of rebelling against their parents as it all started in a match against Cassadaigua, girls that they were supposed to take advantage of and be very violent with due to a Baptism of Fire incident and the fairy tale romance that came about between our Eric Fraser and their Stacie Kerrigan. We are happy to say their relationship is still going strong. He was sad not to see Cassadaigua on the list of this year’s participants.

They are kept together by billionaire John Hughes, who paid the Secristan Department of Sports an undisclosed about of money to allow them to return. Four years ago, they were the youngest team in the tournament as their oldest player was 17. Now they will be a veteran team in their return.

Players age in ( )
***- Denotes player signed to an international contract. Since players in Secristan do not get compensated and have to actually pay the club to participate, they are all very eager for international offers.

Starters:
GK: #1 Brian Carver*** (20)
LB: #6 Eric Fraser*** (18) (Captain)
LCB: #5 Anthony Wachter (20)
RCB: #16 Shawn Wooliver (21)
RB: #2 Trevor Orton (21)
LM: #15 Scott Tollisen*** (17)
CAM: #9 Kurt MacMillan (19)
CDM: #10 Matthew Marino*** (20)
RM: #19 Chris Coventry*** (18)
LS: #11 Michael Cardona*** (17)
RS: #12 Andrew Bianchetti*** (18)

Subs:
GK: # 22 Phil Partico (21)
CB: #8 Joel Shapiro (20)
CB: #4 Eddie Mortensen (21)
MID: #14 Tyler Benware (18)
ST: #20 Terry Castaglia (21)

Reserves:
GK: #23 Lucas Newmark (18)
CB: #3 Nick Palmquist (19)
CB: #7 Jordan Grant (20)
MID: #13 Bob Angeloni (21)
MID: #18 Rick Schatzer (21)
ST: #17 Brian Tucker (18)
ST: #21 Chris Harmon (20)

Coach: Ryan Fullerton (48)

RP Permissions: Do what you want short of killing people or serious injuries. TG me if you want to do any themed stuff as we did last time.

Jeruselem

31-01-2009, 13:19

Jeruselem's roster

"The Princesses"

Formation: 4-4-2

Style Modifier: +2

Coach: Scarlett Ferris
* Former World Cup player and captain
* Married to former World Cup coach Sark Kozy

Security staff: John Edwards
* Former Inquisitor turned private security contractor to the Jeruselem FA
* Explosives expert

GK (F,20) - Jaime Hammer - Nicknamed "Pogo stick girl" since she bounces around a lot
GK (M,16) - Kane Rasmuffin - A big strong boy with big future. Breaks the mould of Jeruselem keepers being short people.

DEF (M,17) - Kevin Peterson - Rather tall for a defender and speaks funny like a Dutchman
DEF (F,18) - Dinkie Federline - Can be seen on youtube with some embarassing videos being too drunk
DEF (F,15) - Oksana Ferris - She just happens to be the daughter of Scarlet, the coach. Captain because her Mum is the coach (CAPTAIN)
DEF (M,17) - Peter O'Farrell - Irish Catholic boy who used to be a choirboy.
DEF (M,16) - Joshua Tree - Jewish defender with lots of potential.

MID (F,20) - Lara Bingle - Part-time model seen in many Jeruselem ads on TV
MID (M,21) - Raziq Mumbai - Likes to rough up the opposition
MID (F,18) - Nikki Seabourne - Daughter of the original Nikki Seabourne who was too lazy to have different first name for her daughter
MID (M,15) - Abdullah Hussein - Arab kid with talent but lack of discipline. Needs to slapped around keep under control.
MID (M,18) - Barrack Obama Hussein - Smart kid who knows how to talk. Born to a black Arab and a French mother.

STR (F,18) - Helen Clarke - Comes from some place called "New Zealand", and likes sheep. Daughter of a farmer.
STR (M,20) - Shisrael Joshua Olmut - Attack is everything, defending is for girls to him.
STR (F,17) - Keiko Kinsata - Failed Geisha, who now plays football because she needs the money

RP Permissions
Choose my goalscorers Y
Godmod Scoring Events Y
RP injuries to my players N
Godmod injuries to my players N
Hand out Yellow cards to my players Y
Hand out Red cards to my players N
Godmod Other Events N

and

The strip!
http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/4757/jeruselemwc38cw6.png

New strip is coming ... if SN gets it to me.

Newmanistan

31-01-2009, 16:23

THE ROCKET REPORT

CARSON ANNOUNCES ROSTER

by Matthew Davisen

Pocono City, Newmanistan- Very soon, the team will be departing Pocono City and heading off to Starblaydia for the Di Bradini Cup. Which by the way, is not a mistake. After a successful tournament hosted in Candelaria And Marquez, the Di Bradini Cup is back in Starblaydia. The Rockets have managed a very good history there for this competition, but there is some concern about this roster. It is very raw and unproven. It reminds you of Di Bradini 6 when the team also had a changeover, and things went very well that time around. Since the team tends to get two Di Bradini Cups out of most players, it looks as though we will have this theme with the even numbered tournaments. The roster isn’t the only new thing about this team. I am personally honored to be named as the team’s main reporter after Clint Peterson retired at the end of the Cup of Harmony. (OOC: This is RP’d as having happened after even though it is still going on at present). For those who might not know me as well, I have covered the Centralia Cougars for ten years and I have always strived to provide my readers with accurate and hard-hitting reporting. I am honored to now be working for the Rocket Report. I am looking forward to my first stay in Starblaydia, I have heard great things about this country. You have all become very accustomed to Clint Peterson’s sit-downs with coach Carson, but now it is my turn to host my first one.

MD: Good afternoon everyone, it is Matt Davisen with the coach of the international team, Brian Carson, as the team is set to head to Starblaydia. Thanks for your time, Brian.

BC: Thanks Matt, and congratulations on your new position here with the Rocket Report.

MD: Thank you Brian. Hopefully I can do this as good as Clint would do.

BC: I’m sure you’ll do a fine job, you’ve always been a fair and respectful reporter with the Cougars, even when we were in town. (Laughs)

MD: (laughs) So I am looking at this roster in which you are sending to Starblaydia and I see only three returning starters and in total, only five total returnees. Do these guys and gals have what it takes to live up to the reputation that Newmanistan has built in this Cup?

BC: It puts us in a position where we were eight years ago. Our roster in the 6th Di Bradini Cup was also a very young lineup. If Secristan taught us anything in Candelaria And Marquez, it is that age doesn’t really matter. They were the youngest team in the tournament, and by quite a bit, but they would win the Cup in their debut. Just like we did.

MD: Note to world: Beware of debutants from One Big Island!

BC: Well the rest of the world is safe right now, it is only us and them again.

MD: You mention the 6th Di Bradini Cup team, but some of the players that did carry over from the 5th Cup were pretty key players, such as the Vilardi sisters. This team doesn’t have anyone like that, other then the goalkeeper McClure.

BC: Well I am glad that the goalkeeper is one of them. Andrew did a great job for us, until he got jittery when the match against Candelaria And Marquez went to penalties. You are somewhat right when you say that. I believe that Curtis Stilwell and Stanley Rocco are serious components of this team. The players that we have returning to the starting lineup are very good, and very capable of leading this team.

MD: Of the first time defenders, Shawn Loughran seems to be the one generating the most excitement. Since he plays for Concord City, not a lot of people know him yet, tell us about him.

BC: The first thing about Shawn that will impress you is his work ethic. He works hard in the workout room, and always give every drill in practice his best. I expect that he will be a great player, but is his future in Concord City, or somewhere else? Since there is an exodus of our top players from the NPL, I am not sure how much longer a small market team like the Lions will be able to hold on to him. Our three young defenders with Stilwell are all very intelligent players. I have confidence in all of them.

MD: Curtis Stilwell was named the captain. I’m sure this was an experience move to an extent.

BC: Having only three returning starters, and one of them being your keeper, I didn’t have a big list to choose from. I don’t want to make it sounds as if Curt got the armband by default, but I look for him to be a leader in the back end and a role model for our young defense, and he seemed like a very solid choice.

MD: The midfield has a very familiar last name, so let’s hold off on him and discuss Stanley Rocco, the other returning non-keeper and 19-year old Jimmy Gavin.

BC: Rocco is the veteran of the midfield, and he is very versatile. That’s what makes him so important, and Gavin is a tremendous set up man, I think he will make the adjustment quite well.

MD: Now the big name. Billy Prescott. Is the world ready for the next Prescott, and is the Di Bradini Cup ready for a Prescott?

BC: Billy is an outstanding talent. First thing I must say about him is that he absolutely would be in the same exact position if it were not for his father. For me it’s pretty exciting to coach someone’s son after having coached their dad on the national team for a long time now. I guess it also tells me that I getting old, doesn’t it?

MD: Nah!

BC: The world better be ready, because Billy has been ready for years, really. His father has taught him very well but taught him how to play his style of play the right way. Having a player like this in the Di Bradini Cup will be a huge advantage for us, and I am confident that he will be able to stay composed as a football player.

MD: You even named his daughter, Brittany, as a reserve despite still being young, at just fourteen.

BC: I absolutely did. Brittany is every bit as tough and physical as Billy is. I’d like to get her in a game at some point, and maybe even both of them in a match together but we’ll have to see how things go. Brett has always joked with me that if I thought Billy was tough that I hadn’t seen Brittany. Now that I have seen her, I know that both have great futures ahead of them.

MD: Up front, the strikers aren’t as well known as they have been in the past. Matthew Turner is a great player, and I am sure he is the one you are looking towards to be the leader.

BC: Yeah, he plays the game the right way and he should have a promising career in front of him as well. He has too, he was born on the day that we won our Di Bradini Cup sixteen years ago!

MD: With a lot of the players being around that age, I guess it goes to show that we’ve been at this a while now.

BC: Yep, none of these young players know what the days were like when we didn’t enter interregional competitions. It’s still a joy to coach them, though. I might be getting older, but I still enjoy it.

MD: What kind of support is the Empress giving this team?

BC: So far, not much. But at least she is not holding us back. She basically just told us to go ahead, go do it, and I know you can put a team together so do it.

MD: Sounds like she seems a little disinterested.

BC: That’s the way that it is looking, sadly enough.

MD: Well Brian thank you very much for your time, and I will be seeing you next in Starbladyia.

BC: Thanks Matthew, look forward to many more of these with you.

Nethertopia

31-01-2009, 17:48

TEAM ROSTER

Here it is, our roster for the eighth instalment of the Di Bradini Cup. The players are young, and eager to prove themselves. They're ready for the highest levels of football. The Nethertopian national XI is also known as the Falcons. The U-21 XI are called the Vultures, a linguistic reappropriation, coming from some journalist in some C&M newspaper.

The kit
Nethertopia's home kit will be Starblaydi White and Purple, in honour to Simeone Di Bradini, with a band of our tricolore diagonally positioned.. The Vultures' away tenue, however, will be in our original Nethertopian colors. Kit created by Ediraf.

http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm1/Starblayde/ediraf/NthUHome4.jpghttp://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm1/Starblayde/ediraf/NthUAway4.jpg

THE STAFF
Manager: Sjors Opdeheuvel
Pretty laid back coach, ex-manager of The Peregrines. Got fired in favour of Ricardo Garcia as coach for CMSC2 team NAPPC, when NAPC and the Peregrines merged. He's now returned to the exiting game of football to take his revenge and maybe a prospect of getting into club football again. Likes to play standard diamond 4-4-2, with a slightly attacking approach. Balances tactic and motivational speeches decently. Made it into the finals with the last Vultures' team. He's rumoured to become the next manager of the Nethertopian national football team, the Falcons.

THE TEAM
Nethertopia will play in a 4-4-2 formation, with a diamond midfield. Style modifier is +0.5, slightly attacking.

Starters
Goalkeeper: Theodorus "Teddy" Marshall
Age: 19
Number: 12
Club: Tenderville United
Bio: Teddy is 1.94m and still growing. He's the first goalie in TdvUtd's A1, a big talent. Doesn't outstand in anything, but isn't bad in any goalie ability at all. Has the potential to become the first choice goalkeeper for the Falcons.

Left defender: Robbie Hendriks
Age: 19
Number: 14
Club: MarquezOW (C&M)
Bio: Robbie plays as a wing defender: He tries forward runs as much as possible. He’s a proper defender, not world class though. Probably the least player on this roster.

Central defender: Rico Janssen
Age: 19
Number: 2
Club: FC DePardenti
Bio: Janssen is quite the fellow. He's an agile defender, who takes brilliant positioning. He sparely uses tackles, which means he's a defender who doesn't get a lot of cards. Does make minor mistakes because of that, but those are expendable.

Central defender: Mark Maas
Age: 18
Number: 3
Club: KT Hospur (C&M)
Bio: A tough guy, this one. He has a great tackle, and a love for yellow cards, it seems. Has a fairly good header, is able to play a defender’s game the way it should be played. He is not quite clever, however.

Right defender: Marcos Thysis
Age: 20
Number: 4
Club: Ratos Island Seaside
Bio: Originally from the Nth Eagle Islands, but neutralised to Nethertopian. He's able to take out any attacker he wants, without crossing the line. He's impassable one-on-one. His only problem is his positioning, something he's working on right now.

Central defensive midfielder: Olivier Koemelker
Age: 19
Number: 6
Club: SVV Stoedt
Bio: Koemelker is a defensive midfielder with an attitude. He's good. He's very good, to be honest, but he's likely to lose some balls because of his vain.

Left midfielder: Michel Mulder
Age: 19
Number: 8
Club: Green Island (C&M)
Bio: This guy is a psycho, but also an extremely talented left midfielder. He’s crazy as crazy can be. Once punched a referee in the face, when he was fourteen and was expelled from the playing field for half a year. Still a phenomenon on the field, able to take out anyone he wants, with tricks, amazing speed and a perfect high pass.

Right midfielder: Frank de Monnik
Age: 21
Number: 7
Club: Sultani FK (KOS)
Bio: How The Scout finds his players, it beats me. But one thing is sure, his name is all the reality. The Scout has found him right before the WC44 qualifiers, and he joined Sultani FK right after. This guy seems to be good, with a lovely control and short pass.

Central attacking midfielder: Erwin Visser
Age: 18
Number: 10
Club: El din Marbles (C&M)
Bio: A penalty expert. This guy really, really loves through balls. Has a strong tackle, for a midfielder. He’s considered to be very loyal. This guy has a nice shot from long range.

Striker: Arjan Jakobs
Age: 19
Number: 18
Club: NAPPC
Bio: One of the jewels of Nethertopian football. People have called him the next Abdoulaye Soro and rumours go that several big clubs are chasing him. Originally scouted by Rob Kietecs, but refused to sign at TdvUtd because he's from Peregrinus City, and refused to sign at the Peregrines' rivals.. Great shot, great positioning, great player.

Striker: Erik Visser (C)
Age: 19
Number: 9
Club: El din Marbles (C&M)
Bio: A very prolific player, able to score with ease. He is short, however, and can’t make a good header. He is developing into a good free kick. He really knows how to shoot, but he has a weak left foot. He doesn’t have the highest work rate, but he makes up for with the goals he scores and the technique and feeling he puts into play. He is on fire, both in the CMSC and the Falcons.

Subs
Goalkeeper: Marvin de Groot
Age: 17
Number: 1
Club: FC DePardenti
Bio: Marvin is, just like Teddy, a decent goalie. He'll never get far in his career, but he's decent enough to be the reserve keeper behind Marshall.

Central defender: Alex Rafaela
Age: 18
Number: 13
Club: Ashdom City
Bio: The fellow is watched by both Nethertopian clubs who're playing in the CMSC. He's a very decent defender, who'll be here to learn for the big Falcons surely. He's a rough, tough football machine.

Wing defender: Cornelius Martinus
Age: 21
Number: 5
Club: Ratos Island Seaside
Bio: A defender who likes to play forward with the ball. He's quick and able to give nice high passes, but is less of a defender than he should be. It is said that he's taken as an extra midfielder more than a defender.

Left/central midfielder: Richard Schaap
Age: 20
Number: 15
Club: Alvery Blades (C&M)
Bio: This guy is more CMSC2 level, but he’s listed as great talent because of his work rate and determination. What he lacks in technique and tactics, he makes up with giving 100% at every match, working like a horse.

Right/central midfielder: Marcel van der Laan
Age: 21
Number: 16
Club: MN Smith (C&M)
Bio: Prefers the centre of the field, but is able to take the right side as well. Your average central midfielder. Strong, leader capabilities, likes do discuss arbitral decisions with the referee. Has an extraordinary free kick. Good stuff, this one.

Striker: Bas Smit
Age: 20
Number: 42
Club: MarquezOW (C&M)
Bio: Over two meters tall already, brilliant header. Decent striker, not really top of the notch yet. Has a lot to learn about the game, has a lot of talent. Preferred back number is 42, his answer to life. Will fit in well in a system with a lone striker

Striker: Bieuwe Beender
Age: 19
Number: 11
Club: Ratos Island
Bio: Decent striker, but not extraordinary. He's able to play as an attacking midfielder as well, since passing is is best point. He's able to shoot nicely as well.
___________________

You can do whatever you like with my players, just don't kill them off, OK?

Newmanistan

01-02-2009, 13:37

Loughran: This is so cool coach, to be in Starblaydia right as they try to win the World Cup. This country is going to go crazy if they won.

Rocco: They won it like 12 years ago. It’s the Valanora/Starblaydia dynasty.

Carson: It is, I have a weird feeling right now.

Loughran: What’s that coach?

Carson: It’s as if I’m coaching in both nations right now that are in the World Cup final.

Stilwell: Weird.

Carson: Yeah, but anyway it is truly great to be here, and if Starblaydia does win the match tonight, we have an idea of how crazy the people here are going to get.

Loughran: Are we all going to root for Starblaydia?

Prescott (Billy): Nope! Cafundeu all the way!

Prescott (Brittany): Yes go Monopolists!

Carson: I suggest you two keep that to yourselves or else you will be trying out the tackles that you father who plays in Cafundeu taught you.

Prescott (Billy): I know. I have been to Cafundeu so many times to watch my dad play. This is my first time in Starbladyia.

Loughran: Well at least you don’t get taxed to death here.

Stilwell: Who are you rooting for coach?

Carson: I’m staying neutral.

Stilwell: Aww come on pick someone.

Carson: Well it’s like this, I’ve won two major championships in Starblaydia and their fans have always been great to me and the teams that we brought here. But at the same time, they’ve won the World Cup three times and Cafundeu has never won it. They play great football in Cafundeu and they deserve it too. So I am just going to sit back and watch the game. But we all need to be ready for Jeruselem.

Loughran: I am so excited about playing Jeruselem, coach. It’s just such an honor to be able to represent Newmanistan in the Di Bradini Cup since we are starting to have a good history in this.

Turner: It’s exciting. There has been some good games between Newmanistan and Jeruselem in the past, and this will be no exception. I think we all feel good about our chances.

Carson: You know when we won the Di Bradini Cup sixteen years ago, Jeruselem and Sorthern Northland were in our group, just like they are now.

Prescott (Billy): Very cool, if we could beat them then, surely we can beat them now.

Turner: Yeah, I’ve been watching the tapes that you have given me over and over and while they are good, they don’t really scare me.

Carson: Excellent, Matthew. I don’t want you to have to feel too much pressure though, just do your thing and we’ll be fine. Billy, it’s too bad your father couldn’t be here for this, but he should be here pretty soon, right?

Prescott (Billy): Yeah, I hope he sees me play, and maybe Brittany can get in a game.

Carson: I’m going to try, but I can’t make any promises.

Prescott (Brittany): I understand. I am just really honored to be part of this team.

Loughran: We got ourselves a great team here. I don’t care if they think we are too young or because we lost too many players. And one day, we’re going to be playing in a World Cup final!

Prescott (Billy): Hell yeah. My father couldn’t do it. But I want him to be able to see me in it today.

Carson: Alright everyone, let’s get out there for an early morning training session so we can watch the World Cup final. After the final, we’ll have another strategic run down, and then we go out there and play Jeruselem.

Loughran: Let’s do it! Go Rockets!

Secristan

01-02-2009, 17:49

BACK TOGETHER AGAIN

It’s been four years since Secristan won the Di Bradini Cup in Candelaria And Marquez and now the nation is off to prove that was not a fluke. The only other championship ever won by the team, which came in basketball, led to a disappointing finish where the team failed to get out of the group stage. We are confident in their ability this time around as there is no reason to think they cannot accomplish greatness again. It will be a tough road, but confidence reigns supreme at the present.

Four years ago, this team was a bunch of kids all under the age of seventeen. Many criticized the roster, and wondered if we were aware that it was a U-21 tournament and not a U-18 tournament. Yes, we were aware. In typical Secristani tradition, the roster spots were provided to the highest bidders, and the parents of the kids went crazy. For them it was about living their soccer dreams through their children. The kids would be their servants to do as they say, because they could always hold it over their heads that they spent millions of rusas just to allow their son a chance to play. At first the adults got what they wanted, but as the tournament went on you could see the teenagers begin to act like teenagers. They came together as a team, not as individuals whose parents were controlling their lives. They rebelled against their parents, in a big way when a knockout match between them and Cassadaigua came around. Secristan and Cassadaigua had between them a violent encounter in the Baptism of Fire and there would be much ill will between the fanbases. Fights occurred in the parking lot before the Di Bradini game, and the adults were the ones acting like kids in the stands. For Secristan and for Cassadaigua, they did not understand what the Baptism of Fire had to do with them. It was teenage boys against teenage girls, and while both teams played to win, teenage romances won out.

The best story was that of then fourteen year old Eric Fraser and sixteen year old Stacie Kerrigan. Fraser was supposed to injure Kerrigan, but far from that would happen. They became friends during the game, and walked off the pitch hand and hand. For some, this is the last we have seen of Fraser and Kerrigan. What has happened to them since then? Well as many people will recall, prior to the Di Bradini 7 final against Nethertopia, Fraser signed a contract with Newmanistan’s Springfield Thoroughbreds. What many might not know is not too long after that, Fraser convinced the Thoroughbreds to also sign Stacie Kerrigan. The two have been teammates and plan on remaining in that league just to stay away from the negative parental influences they may get. Fraser’s parents will never speak to him again. They have had a steady relationship and perhaps something much larger is in the cards for them. Those of us who were watching that game really hope it does. A total of eight players from the championship roster now play overseas between three countries; Newmanistan, Dancougar, and Candelaria And Marquez. Playing professionally has allowed them to further their careers and do it without parental support. Very few of these players say that things have gotten completely back to normal with their folks back home after the four years. They may have gone their separate ways, and when they kickoff against Krytenia, they will be one of the more veteran teams in the Cup as opposed to one of the youngest. Though it will really feel good to be back together again.

Nethertopia

01-02-2009, 18:28

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It's Di Bradini time!
Jhanna, Starblaydia - We are in Starblaydia again, with a load of young footballers. That can only mean one thing: U21 football! The Vultures are back after four years, and the team looks much like the previous selection. Can Nethertopia repeat their stunt and get in the finals again, or are the Vultures a one-hit-wonder? We'll see.
The draw is quite nice, with no real youth team standing out. We have no clue who our opponents are, only Yafor 2 has popped up in the news. So we can expect qualification from the first round, if things go well and the unknown teams aren't as strong as the known teams. But of course, we'll have to wait how strong our opponents are. The Vultures may have had a nice run last time, the team has completely changed. A lot of substitutes had to fill in the empty spaces in the team, that have been left by the Nethertopians who were too old to still fit in the team.
On the bright side, we still have our attack. Arjan Jakobs has learned a lot in the last two years and Erik Visser has been on fire since he joined the El din Marbles. He also has gathered 23 caps in the Falcons since the start of the World Cup 43 qualifiers and has found the net 11 times in those matches. It is good to have a player like him in the team. It was a logical choice to make him captain and if there's anyone who can lead the team to a cup win it's Erik. His cousin, Erwin Visser, could also be an important factor to win this tournament. Let's play football.

The Vultures' schedule:
MD1: Lovisa - Nethertopia
MD2: Nethertopia - Yafor 2
MD3: Starblaydia - Nethertopia
MD4: Fujisawan Territories
MD5: Bye

Elves Security Forces

02-02-2009, 00:42

It was just another very busy day inside the High Priestess temple in Mount Sumarja, as priests and priestesses came and went. Some of the ordinary citizens of Char Sara often wondered just what their religious leaders where up to up in their temple. It was a well known fact that Mount Sumarja was not just the gateway to the Gray Havens but also the Seven Elvish Hells. Had they been so inclined, they could have easily made the temple dedicated to Melliki instead of Elune. The hands of fate, the Unspoken Ones, or the creators, whatever it is you wish to call them, however had made it so that the Vanorians were aligned in the light side of the spectrum, had them following the innocent ways of Elune. So with the religious determination that one would expect from a nation devout as Valanora, the priesthood daily worked to continue those teachings and record the history of the nation. It is through their work that Valanora has as many records from the era before the Security Aliance as they do. Now it is just another day in just another year for the tireless workers of the Temple.

In one of the prayer rooms, a priest was communing with the Goddess herself when a priestess walked in, disturbing the immense amount of concentration needed to sustain the direct connection. The exasperated sigh coming from the aged but still fine features of Melônthor Nelthaltinu told Gwildiliel Cudragseer that she had made some sort of mistake already. Gwildiliel was a new addition to the Temple, barely joining but a week before, and was not used norms of the Temple, which stated that one is to leave closed doors alone inside the main hall. Melônthor could not be overly upset, as he was the one who had approved of Gwildiliel being accepted into the Temple, but was disappointed she had not yet learned this basic rule. He was receiving an important message from the Goddess, as the High Priestess was busy with the blessing of the Soldarian's latest child. His dark brown eyes opened and fell on the light green eyes of the priestess and he shook his head.

"Child, how many times this week will I need to remind you of the basic rules of the Temple? If you do not learn soon, I might have to rescind my stamp of approval for your learning here", he said with a slight chuckle, one that did little to relieve the reprimanded look of the young priestess. "Don't worry child, all new members of the priesthood have trouble the first few months and even year of their stay. Now if you would please leave me, I am in the middle of an important communion with Elune, and one does not want to keep the goddess waiting too long, not when she is the one who requests your presence!"

Hodling back the tears, Gwildiliel nodded and quickly retreated the few steps and closed the door with a loud thud behind her. He would go and comfort her later, but like he had said to her, Elune is not one to keep waiting. He turned around and knelt back down on the cold steel floor and began to reconnect to the divine plane. He had achieved the necessary concentration, but something was amiss. As he tried to reach out to the Goddess' it felt as if she was not there, nowhere in the vast dwelling of the Gray Havens. As he tried to probe further, he felt a slight twinge in his thoughts, and suddenly his connection was severed. Despite numerous attempts to reconnect with the Havens, he could not establish it.

Jeruselem

02-02-2009, 06:59

Jeruselem Government News

"Pups" Ferris ready for U21 Captaincy

15 year old Oksana "Pups" Ferris took the captaincy of the U21 team for the 8th Di Bradini Cup. In most teams, the leader is usually one of older players but in this case Pups is one of youngest. Her mother Scarlet Ferris happens to be the coach of the team and an ex-Captain of the World Cup team. The Ferris clan are also friends of the Dallas Clan. There are no Dallases in this team. Oksana is nicknamed Pups because she sounds like a Puppy Dog when she giggles.

Pups is the Captain of the school debating team for her year level as well as captain of the school football team for that year level. She's also the editor of publication called Pistachio Girls based inside the school, a magazine for expats from a country formerly known as Oliverry.

On the football field, she's a rugged little defender who isn't afraid of anyone. Due to her small size, she outmuscle bigger stronger players but is always scheming to outplay them. She's more of a thinker than a doer but isn't devoid of her own creative football skills inherited from her mother. On the family farm, the Ferrises with the father being an ex-Jeruselem coach and the mother being an ex-World Cup player - there is a homeschooled training facility. If Pups isn't working on the farm, she's training hard on her football.

Naturally Pups being a hormonal teenager has the same issues with deal with as another teenager. And being a close associate of Dallas girls, makes her popular with guys who want an easy girl.

Newmanistan

02-02-2009, 07:22

THE ROCKET REPORT

GAMES DELAYED FOR CELEBRATIONS

Starblaydia- True, the Di Bradini Cup was going to start today, but how in the world could Starblaydia have any interest in watching kids from other countries play football on the day that their country took home the World Cup in a most dramatic fashion over Cafundeu. It is the 4th World Cup won by the Purple Peril, keeping the Valanora-Starblaydia stranglehold of the World Cup running strong. No other nation has won a World Cup since Newmanistan entered the scene other then these two true football powers. Certainly, the Rocket Report sends out our congratulations to Lex Panarii and his team on winning the title. The victory sent off celebrations all across the country, as you would expect, leaving the organizers to decide to postpone the events by a day as they all wanted to celebrate. It worked out pretty well for the Newmanistanian team as well, and likely other nations that are competing as they could also enjoy the moment of what it is like to be in the country of a nation that lives and breathes football on the day that they won the World Cup. Brian Carson said he was very happy with this decision. “The postponement of the games had been talked about whether Starblaydia won or lost. If they won, obviously the entire country would be in celebration, but if they had lost, they would have been in mourning, so it was the right call. I took the team out and let them celebrate with the fans because I wanted to let them see how much football can mean to a population and how big of a deal winning a title is. Hopefully, they can experience this too and we can be the next team that celebrates in Starblaydia.”

Starblaydia

02-02-2009, 13:45

http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/SFA-Logo.gif
Matchday One Scores

Group A
Lovisa 0-1 Nethertopia
Fujisawan Territories 0-1 Yafor 2

Group B
Krytenia 0-2 Secristan
Sarzonia 1-1 Cafundéu

Group C
Sorthern Northland 3-0 Taeshan
Newmanistan 1-1 Jeruselem

Group D
Koseli Cumhuriyetler 1-0 Dancougar
Candelaria And Marquez 2-2 Daehanjeiguk

Newmanistan

02-02-2009, 14:54

THE ROCKET REPORT

HIGHS AND LOWS FOR YOUNG TEAM

Starblaydia- The young roster in which Newmanistan has brought to the Di Bradini Cup got humbled a little bit by an always strong Jeruselem side as the competition officially got underway for both sides. Jeruselem also has a fairly young roster, including young 15-year old captain Oksana Ferris, who we are told has the armband for more then just being the coaches daughter. Each side had their bright spots and forgettable plays, as each end up with a point in a one-all draw.

The first international game of 16-year old Billy Prescott was the highlight for the nation as he officially becomes the first second-generation member of a Newmanistanian football team. His father Brett never played in the Di Bradini Cup, but was here for the Baptism of Fire. It would be an interesting matchup between him and Ferris as both are said to be aggressive tacklers. The two of them actually have quite a bit in common. For Ferris, being a daughter of her the current coach who also has played for the Princesses and Billy, the son of the Rockets enforcer, Brett. Billy wasn’t about to take young Oksana for granted as after all he knows that through his sister, Brittany, just because one is female does not mean that they cannot outmuscle you. The gamesmanship between these two made for an entertaining sideshow as each has their moments on the other. They wanted to get inside the others head and intimidate the other as after all that’s what both of them are supposed to do, but soon enough it became pretty clear that the two of them were having way too much fun showing off their tackling technique to the other. Neither was thrown off their game, and both really seemed to be enjoying the moment. It was, perhaps, a perfect debut for both of these young players if they go on to have the kind of career that each of their successful parents is hoping that they will have.

As for the game, well, it was pretty typical of two young teams playing their first game as a unit. With it being a tough matchup for both sides, there was a lot of pressure to go around. Jeruselem and Newmanistan each sent more then their expected share of shots wide. There was miscommunication that led to errant passes, and some sloppy offsides plays. On the flip side, there was plenty of individual skill displayed, and despite the errant shots, there were plenty that were well struck and on target. Another thing in common that these teams had was despite their youth, they each had a veteran goalkeeper. Jaime Hammer and Andrew McClure tried to lead my example, and made the key stops. All except for one each. Jeruselem opened the scoring late in the first half, in the 41st minute as Shisrael Joshua Olmut beat Campbell to the left side. That score hung on through halftime and for the early portions of the second half until Tony Dempster outleapt Dinkie Federline for a header and was able to get it by Hammer for the equalizer. Both teams played hard and had their moments until the whistle blew, and in the end there was nothing between them. A draw between Newmanistan and Jeruselem, and the official start to the potentially great careers of Oksana Ferris and Billy Prescott. Perhaps they’ll look back on this day ironically as the moment in which both of them got started.

Sorthern Northland

02-02-2009, 17:33

Beningrad Morning Star

Sortherners win opener despite duck scare

The opening of the Di Bradini Cup was last night put back following what as been described as a “calculated attempted assassination” of a member of the Sorthern Northland under 21 team. By a duck! The incident is the second involving Sorthern players and members of the Anatidae family of birds, following on from the swan attack on Jon Andrews at the last Di Bradini Cup. Clearly still shaken and upset from the incident, Sorthern striker, Renzo Sportelli told us, “It was terrifying. I was sitting outside our hotel in Tabeck, on one of these picnic benches overlooking the Bekk, when all of a sudden this duckling came out of nowhere. It then waddled towards me, obviously trying to get my sandwich and no doubt prepared to kill me for it. It had a look it in it's eye that said that much. I feared for my life out there. With what happened to Jon last time out, I think it's clear they're out to get us, and I can't help but feel our safety is being compromised.”

The Sorthern team were said to have barricaded themselves in their hotel in a bid to keep them safe as the tournament start was delayed by a day in order to insure the safety of fans and players. Speaking is whispers down a crackly phone line, a senior member of the SNFA told us, “Whilst the Starblaydi Football Association haven't made an announcement as to the reason for the delay, I think it's quite clear that it's due to the assassination attempt of one of our players by a duck earlier this afternoon. This issue is one of paramount importance and it's good to see the safety of the players and fans at this tournament is being taken seriously. Hopefully the ducks will not attack us any more and will allow us to get on with the tournament in peace. That's all I can say at this time.”

The Sorthern Foreign Office has also issued a statement saying that while Starblaydia is generally safe to visit, Sorthern tourists should remain alert to the threat of attacks by water borne birds.

http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr245/SorthernNorthland/ducky.jpg
Ducklings, seen plotting brutal attack against Sorthern footballers yesterday

Despite the obvious threat of imminent duck attack, the Sorthern squad did decide to carry on with the tournament, “cos, man, if we didn't, man, it'd be letting the ducks win, man” in the words of manager Chicão Trombada, who despite having been held in a mental institute in the past is probably experiencing new heights of craziness in managing a Sorthern football team. The Sortherners minus Sportelli who remains at the hotel to recover, understandably looked shaky at the start of their opening match against Taeshan. However once they were convinced that there were no ducks hiding behind the advertising boards of Bekkside Arena they were soon in their stride as they put three goals past the Taeshite keeper in an efficient second half performance. Iñaki Arrigorriagakoa, standing in for Sportelli was the undoubted man of the match as he scored two, including a long range free-kick which left the Taeshan keeper desperatly clawing at thin air, and set up the other for Marek Krofcky. With the goings on of the last day or so, it will be a win that will keep the Sorthern players happy. They might want to change to a hotel a bit further from water if they want to avoid the ducks which could potentially derail their Di Bradini Cup ambitions though.

Candelaria And Marquez

02-02-2009, 19:10

“…derson, on the right, tries to take it past Yi, but loses it again!”

“It’s just not his position John, and I honestly can’t see what Zabojnik is trying to achieve with this. We’ve got some good forwards, not that they’re getting any service but still… We haven’t got anyone on the right, that’s fine, let’s play four-three-three! But instead we’ve got this half-arsed attempt, and it’s just not working for us… Yi’s making so much headway there, as you can see…”

“Yes, Yi inside to Gang, the opening scorer of course, if you’re just joining us… Hawker intercepts, tries to play in Adams, but he’s looked pretty off the pace since the equaliser… Goes back to Kim Seungho in goal. Er, well C&M have had much better of it, all things considered, since Adams’ penalty, but you’re seeing now that Daehanjeiguk are starting to dictate again, and it’s only really been the fullbacks keeping C&M in it… Doesn’t bode wonderfully well, all this, in a difficult group, and at the moment Zabojnik… as Pepper just tries to trap the ball there, but it goes to Seo… Zabonjik will be pretty happy to escape with a point… John?”

“Yeah, no, absolutely… Yi just on the ball there again, I think… Has, er, a lot about the early Jae Chung-hwa about her, you’d say?”

“Yes… Reminiscent. In… playing style…”

“Playing style, absolutely… Obviously further up the pitch, but very much…”

“A force in both directions, you’d say, John?”

“Oh, very much so, John.”

“Pepper… And again loses it, and this the problem, plenty of possession but just not for very long… O…”

“Yeah?”

“Eh?”

“Sorry, I thought something had happened…”

“O Sunghwan on the ball, John… Finds Han…”

“They’re all Han, aren’t they?”

“Cut out by Barnett… John, I did give you their team-sheet…”

“Did you? Oh yes… So you did. Why’ve they got twelve players in the starting eleven?”

“It’s a good question, John, an unusual tactical set-up, but it’s been tried before… The Kenavt national team, if you’ll recall, often play with twelve men, and it never gave them an obvious advantage… Saunderson beaten by O… Pak… Go!”

“Oh well, if you’re going to be like that… I just thought if we shared a hotel room it’d be ea–”

“Pak again, loses it to Hawker. Now, can C&M string together more than half a dozen passes, Hawker finds Pepper… Beats Wang, up to the by-line, he can put a cross in here…! And does, and that’ll be Ada… No, it’ll be MacCiochain, but Go takes it on, still not cleared here by… Loses it, and it’s SUSSSSEXXX!!! SUSSEX FOR C&M, on the STROKE of seventy…!! Well, I don’t know how deserved that was, but well found there, through a crowd of bodies… Will Sussex for C&M, and it’s C&M two, Daehanjeiguk one!”

“G’waarn!!”

President Morton rolled her eyes and swivelled away from her office window. “Mike, you couldn’t take that somewhere else, could you? This is the most important room in the country, Small Blues matches or no…”

Michael grinned sheepishly and trotted off towards the door, nodding at the woman waiting outside as he left. The President glanced up.

“Come in, Jenny…”

“…unkett, strongly holding off Pak Taehwan, and the Han strikers not really getting a sniff this second forty-fi–”

“Sorry, just turn that down, Jenny, if you would…” She smiled in a half-apology. “Husbands, eh? What would you do with them…?”

“I’d say divorce is always an option, Robyn.”

“Ah yes, of course… Sorry. How are proceedings going along there?”

“Oh, y’know… We’re getting there. Still seeing other people… Well,” Jenny Harris corrected herself, “Steve’s seeing other people. I’m never too sure who I see, down at the M.O.R.T., but ‘people’ probably stretches the definition a bit, half the time…”

Both politicians couldn’t help it as their eyes were drawn towards the muted television, and a vast, shirtless gentleman in the Candelariasian section of the Hallad City Stadium, bouncing up and down and belting out a less-than-inventive chant celebrating Will Sussex.

Morton grimaced. “At least he’s patriotic though, you have to admit…”

“Yeah… My kids are just the same, every DBC. There’s something special about seeing ‘the next generation’ in action, I suppose. It was Eric O’Brien shirts they were pestering for last time out, and I ‘spose it’ll be this Sussex kid now… The modern Candelariasian child, eh? What a nightmare we’ve created…”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Morton said weakly. “Talking of all that, I take it everything’s alright? Over in Starblaydia?”

Jenny frowned momentarily before catching on. “Oh, for the under-21 thing? Yes, yes, we’ve got all that down pat these days. Sorts itself out, really. The travelling supporters are being kept out of heavily non-humany areas, we’ve co-ordinated it that they won’t have anything to do with the Vanorians away from the match, the re-education centres are quietly buzzing along… Local authorities have shut ‘em down once or twice, but we’re all very hydra when we get our plans in operation. Nothing to worry about on that account. And, I’ll have you know, there’s barely been a sniff in the press about bears, or anything else for that matter, since…”

“Since we opened fire on a peaceful protest?”

“Mm, yeah. That. Um… I don’t know whether you heard, but there was a third casualty today…”

“Yes… I had. A nineteen year-old, apparently. Head injuries were too severe…”

“Yeah. A pity, but I don’t suppose the parents of the little girl that reported him for extra-curricular fiddling will see it that way.”

“Jenny…” Morton sighed, exasperated. “We’ve no idea if any of that was even remotely true… I take it it’s not been made public yet?”

“Not as I’m aware.”

“Good. Keep it that way, please, if only for the sake of his parents.”

“The point is, Robyn, he was there. And he had other convictions as well. He was a troublemaker if nothing else, same as the other two. Our marksmen are good, Robyn. They knew what they were doing. Crowd dispersed, focus off the bears, three undesirables permanently off the streets. I’d said things went pretty good, on the whole…”

Morton turned away, and watched the evening’s little flurry congeal on the street far below. The snow was helping to, she had to admit. There was nothing like travel chaos to put one’s mind off strange notions of talking bears.

“Pretty good…” she repeated, carefully trying the phrase out for size. “Jenny… We, I killed three people!”

“Yup. And? Robyn, you’re the President. You kill people every day. Every government initiative, or lack thereof, every failed policy. Good people, bad people, mediocre people… Candelariasians die every day because of you, because of your failures and inadequacies, and because of your successes. There are always victims… The only way we can judge if you’re a good President or not, at the end of the day, is if you save more people than you kill. In this instance? Hardly any argument, is there? When you pop your clogs, and the fella on the gates is weighing it all up, those three fools are hardly going to tip the balance wildly in the other direction, are they?”

“Did you practise that?”

“Came from the heart, Robyn. I’m sorry you don’t seem to see it this way, but when I tuck my kids in at night, or more likely just check in to make sure they’re alright at two in the morning when I finally get back home, I know that I might not be the greatest mum in the world but fuck knows I’m keeping them alive! My conscience is salved…”

“Good for you. Perhaps it’ll be salved even further if you pull your finger out and find Mc O’Neil…”

“We’re working on that,” Jenny replied through calmly gritted teeth. “He’s proving hard to find, and those other elves appear to have buggered off the face of the Earths… We’ll find him. And stop him, if it comes to it. I promise you.”

“Jenny, I can assure you, I have no doubts about that…” She swivelled back around, taking a folder off her desk as she did so. “Hand this to Deborah as you leave, won’t you?”

“What is it…?”

“The budget, Jenny… Or some updates to it, anyway. Underlined in red ink where Park needs to have another hash at it. We can’t all be tracking elves and shooting people, can we? ‘C&M Is Working’ and all that…”

The Minister for Remedial Teaching smiled dryly and pottered out, the door clanging shut behind her. The President watched the silent television vaguely, frowned, and put the sound back up.

“…ND IT’S TWO-TWO, and you CAN’T say that wasn’t deserved… It was coming, and it’s Kim Gyeongan, and now it’s just going to be a case of holding our by our fingernails, by the looks of things… Shocking defending there, actually…”

“Well that won’t help,” Morton sighed, and turned her eyes back to the fifteenth draft of the Higher Education Act. Not all of us can track elves and kill people.

***

“…ause run and you’ll live, for a while… They don’t intend to kill you all yet, how could they? But they’ve shown their colours, up in Albrecht, and here in Zapata. The Green Island people know too much, and they’ll never let you rest now! We’ve come too far to go back, brothers, but I’ll tell you this… If we fight, and die… Well they can take our lives, but they can never take our FREEDOM!”

Sam Mc O’Neil smiled as the cheers rang out in the little room, down in Zapata’s dockyards. They were a motley bunch, a gullible lot, and clearly not movie buffs… But they were his, Sam giggled to himself. They were an army, and with an army you could take a nation, and hold on to it to. Green Island reformed anew. A new state, in the strangled heart of the Candelarias, beating to the tune of its half-elf king…

He giggled again, and then giggled some more, and then had to sturdily thumped on the back and fetched a glass of water.

Daehanjeiguk

02-02-2009, 19:47

Shim: Question: What do we do with a pizza guy who's somehow discovered where we work?

Shin: Answer: We annihilate him.

Shim: But he's a citizen of the Empire. We can't just kill him without impunity.

Shin: I didn't say kill; I said annihilate.

Shim: *turning to the control panel*

Shin: Yes! Annihilate him.

Shim: You're starting to sound too much like Hwang.

Shin: And you sound too much like Wang.

*both gasp*

Shin & Shim: OMFG! We're turning into Wang and Hwang!!!

Shin: There's got to be a button for that...

Pizza Guy: *groans*

Shim: He's waking up!

Hwang: *enters with a bag of popcorn* Hey, what's with all of the yelling in here?

Shin: You're not supposed to be in here!

Hwang: Neither is he. *points at Pizza Guy* So what's going on?

Shim: Get out!

Wang: *from outside* Hwang! Where the %$#^ are you?

Hwang: *yells* I'm in here!

Wang: *from outside* Where's 'here'?

Hwang: *yells* The Control Room! Where are you?

Wang: *enters* You stole my %$#^ popcorn!

Shin: *clears throat* Neither of you should be in here.

Wang: I know. Say, what's that dude doing here? I thought he was supposed to be in the holding cell.

Shim: Well that was just plain mean, keeping him in that cell. It's all so cold, and cramped. Not to mention you have no clue what anyone's done on that floor.

Wang: I suppose you know... anyway, I'm taking out of here, because if he sees anything in here, we're all toast.

Hwang: He's got a blindfold.

Wang: What if he has X-ray vision?

*everyone gazes at Wang strangely*

Shin: Then we'd be screwed by the X-ray vision alliance of freaks.

Wang: This Control Room is guarded against X-rays... *huffing* Would you mind giving me a hand, Hwang? This guy is heavy.

Hwang: He's not obese... He's hardly fat... In fact, I could donate some of my lard...

Wang: HWANG! Just help me!

Hwang: I think you're just weak. You've got no muscle. All bone and skin.

Wang: *struggles*

*knock at the door*

Shim: Who the %$#^ could that be?

*voice at the door: "Fish cakes!"*

Shin & Shim: Fish cakes?!?

Hwang: Oh! He's already here! *rushes to the door*

Wang: Please don't tell me we've got another one...

Hwang: *comes back with fish cakes in a cup of soup* Oh, nothing like fish cakes on a cold winter day.

Wang: This is a controlled atmosphere. It's never winter here. And please tell me that wasn't a friendly chap delivering that...

Hwang: Well, how else do you get fish cakes delivered to the front door? Flies by wings?

Shin: GO GET THAT FISH CAKE GUY!

*Shin and Shim run out to get the fish cake delivery guy - Wang still struggles at trying to get the pizza guy out the door*

Hwang: Hmmm, this fish cake is pretty tough. *fidgets with fish cakes using a chopstick, fish cake flies out and hits a button on the Control Panel* Oh... ummm...

Wang: What?

Hwang: Nothing... just don't close the door when you leave.

Wang: Why?

Hwang: Um... I'll be going out in just a little bit.

Wang: Well, be quick about it. *finally shoves the pizza delivery guy out the door*

Hwang: *rushes to the Control Panel and fetches the fish cake off the buttons* Oh, it's leaked out some soup! *starts licking the panel*

Shin: *coming back with Shim* Well, disconnecting the phone line to the outside world will help solve our problems.

Shim: No more delivery guys coming over with food for Hwang... *closes door* Hwang?

Shin: Hwang!

Hwang: Hmm? *turns around with fish cake soup all over his face*

Shin: What the %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ are you doing?

Hwang: Ummm... licking my soup?

Shim: On the %$#^ Control Panel???

Hwang: Well, you see... one of my fish cakes was really tough, so I had to pick it up. But I waited until Wang was out of the room with the Pizza Guy, so I guess some of the soup leaked out...

Shim: Wait, your fish cake was tough, so you used the Control Panel to cut it?

Hwang: No! It flew to the Control Panel!

Shin: That's the lamest excuse ever!

Shim: Did you touch any of the buttons?

Hwang: ...

Shim: Did you touch any of the buttons???

Hwang: Not while the door was closed... no...

Shin: Good...

*** Somewhere, Someone Willing, Somewhere.... ***

Meterologist: And don't forget your umbrellas people, because it's now starting to rain fish cakes. I'm not sure why it's raining fish cakes, I dodn't even know what fish cakes are, and moreover how they would form in our atmosphere, but it's just as weird as raining cats and dogs...

*** Back in the Control Room ***

Shim: I guess we'll see soon enough if the Supervisor gets any calls from the Imperial Office of Paranormal Activities...

Shin: That might be a bit difficult if we've cut the phone lines...

Shim: True.

Hwang: Well, I guess we're all off the hook anyway. *smiles as he leaves the room*

Shim: *locks the door* That way no one else can come in.

Shin: Genius, Shim!

Shim: I know I am.

Jeruselem

03-02-2009, 00:57

Coach: Well done Pups. Not a bad debut there as a leader.
Pups: Thanks Mum. I sure got a lot of attention from that Billy Prescott.
Coach: I heard his father Brett is a famous Newmanistan player.
Pups: Well, he's pretty good anyway.

Coach: Yeah, he was a bit of a handful to control. You did a good job.
Pups: I had to chase him around all day.
Coach: He's even got a sister Britanny.
Pups: How old is she?

Coach: 14 I think. There's a lot of kids coming out here.
Pups: And then there's Meghan Vilardi, I think a sister to them other Vilardis.
Coach: Sounds like them Newmanistanis are breeding like rabbits.
Pups: Well, sounds like you Mum.

Coach: So did you get his phone number?
Pups: Yeah, we've got lots in common.
Coach: Ah, I want to be young again like old days with Kate Dallas.
Pups: But you're older, wiser and smarter.

Coach: But the old body isn't what is used to be.
Pups: I suppose that's why one has kids.
Coach: We don't live forever, except maybe for people like Dazza.
Pups: I'll continue the Ferris ... wheel.

Coach: Keep up the good work, but there's still of lot work ahead Pups.
Pups: Don't worry Mum, I want to win this. I'm not here for any old holiday.
Coach: The opposition will underestimate you. I mean the coach putting her useless daughter as Captain. Some stupid 15 year old leading a team.
Pups: I'm no lame duck leader. Pups has teeth!

Coach: Speaking of ducks ... that SN team don't like ducks do they?
Pups: I think it's feathered birds in general.
Coach: There's plenty of birds in our team.
Pups: And real bitches ... like me.

Coach: I wonder what happens if one imitates a duck quack around the SN team?
Pups: We're farmers, we can imitate ducks.
Coach: We only have one duck though, something's been eating our ducks on the farm.
Pups: I think the neighbors are responsible.

Dancougar

03-02-2009, 01:48

Dancougar News!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

FA almost remembers to submit roster on time: The Dancougar Football Association finally submitted a roster for Di Bradini Cup VIII and apologized for its tardiness, a spokesperson for the selection committee said yesterday.

"The committee was sequestered in the Hyatt Regency Columbus for the better part of the weekend discussing their selections," he said during a press conference. "Except by 'discussing their selections' I actually mean 'running around with a camera while dressed as Alto Saotome.'" He had no comment on leaked internal documents revealing that some of the FA's discretionary funding was used to purchase "wicked cool action figures" that have nothing to do with football.

In the past, Dancougar has used the Oxen Cup to evaluate its up-and-coming college players. This time, they've opted to use the tournament which actually exists for this purpose. The Di Bradini Cup is a showcase for under-21 talent, and the FA has worked in conjunction with the College Alliance to build the squad. Most of the players were honored by an appearance on the All-Dancougar first and second teams following the 2034 season, but as always, there have been surprise inclusions.

The coach named for the team is Trafford Tech's Paul Spudy, who guided his school to the 2034 national championship. This move comes on the heels of Solomon Bilbao's firing, as he failed to get the senior side out of the World Cup group stage despite being ranked third in the world. Spudy's appointment is likely to be temporary, as he has indicated no interest in coaching the senior national team.

Spudy will play a 4-4-2 and announced a slight attacking bias of +1. We at Dancougar News!! have never quite figured out what it means when teams say they're doing something like this, but suspect it might have something to do with the mysterious entity, 'Margaret,' who is said to hold sway over the outcomes of matches.

For listed players, their class status and age is given as if it were the start of the 2035 regular season. For example, a 19-year-old sophomore was playing as an 18-year-old freshman during the season that was used as a basis for their inclusion. Starters are bolded.

GK Artur Komarov (20, Junior, Barynsk College)
GK Jeremy Cornelia (20, Junior, Pollock College)

D Brian Lobato (20, Junior, Carnegie Technical Institute)
D Val Ardinger (19, Soph, Dancougar Royal Academy)
D Kurt Tribbey (21, Senior, Hamerschlag College)
D Neville Blumenthal (20, Junior, Pollock College)
D Evan Mallek (21, Senior, Granger Island State College)
D Hans Schaalma (19, Soph, Barynsk College)
D Bobby Raybourne (21, Senior, Amesborough College)
D John Franco (20, Junior, Dyson College)

M Josef Rousch (21, Junior, Shikibu Northwestern)
M Hiroshi Kaizuka (20, Junior, Ouran College)
M Masao Amachi (21, Senior, Negley Run Academy)
M Cody Horrigan (19, Soph, Morewood Technical Institute)
M Ron Barbot (20, Junior, Jefferson College)
M Don Kline (21, Senior, Alameda Academy)
M Fred Jandrey (20, Junior, Trafford Technical Institute)
M Donny Saulsbery (19, Soph, University of Lunarossa)

F Junichiro Daigo (21, Senior, Shikibu Northwestern)
F Lawrence Sutliff (20, Soph, Trafford Technical Institute)
F Stefan Rosberg (20, Junior, Mount Fujiko State College)
F Saburo Nishino (19, Soph, Konoha Academy)
F Johnathon Rockelman (21, Senior, Keats Island University)

Turks clip Wings in opener: The Dancougar Black Wings didn't have much time after their arrival before they were met by the former Kose and the Turkomans. Reborn as Koseli Cumhuriyetler, the Turks looked just as good as their Cup of Harmony counterparts by defeating the Wings 1-0 on a 53rd-minute goal by Kazim Pasa.

"It was defensively tight on both ends," said coach Paul Spudy. "I thought we showed some good balance and movement, but we didn't make the most of our chances. They did."

Kazim was saved twice by Artur Komarov before his second-half breakthrough, a thundering shot from the top of the box after he found a brief opening in the defense. Dancougar came close to equalizing in the 60th on a Cody Horrigan free kick, but their best chance had come near the beginning of the game, when Junichiro Daigo hit the post in the 13th minute.

Cafundeu

03-02-2009, 03:37

GAZETA DO POVO - ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS HERE!
Sports Section - article written by Carlos Alberto Gujabre
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SLOW START FOR SUB-21 TEAM

Once again, the Monopolists are participating in an Under-21 tournament, hoping to finally make a good performance. Although the country reached the third place in one edition, in most of the others the team didn't play like the expected, and the supporters heavily criticized the young players for their failure to bring home the positive results. Surprisingly, nearly all of the players that came close to winning the World Cup with the main Cafundelense team have played in the Di Bradini Cup (only 3 players of the starter eleven didn't play in the cup when they were younger). So, conquering good results or not, the Di Bradini Cup is surely the place where the future stars for Cafundéu will wear the country's football shirt for the first time in their careers.

This time, the Monopolists were placed in a group with Sarzonia, The Macabees, Krytenia and Secristan. Unfortunately, this competition isn't like the World Cup or the Cup of Harmony, where the countries that have had success in the recent tournaments are the favourites to win. In this one, all the teams are seen as having the same potential, as we can't predict which country has the most promising players. In the World Cup we know the players as they play in domestic leagues and international competitions (most probably in Cafundelense teams). This doesn't happen here. So, when Cafundéu's players entered in the field to play against Sarzonia for the first game, they couldn't predict what would happen.

The first half was a very quiet one, with the ball staying in the midfield for most of the time, with few goal chances created. The best was for Cafundéu in the twenty-second minute, when Paquetá dribbled two opponents before shooting and sending the ball wide. But Sarzonia nearly scored right before the whistle, with a long ranged shot by Nichols. The truth is that all the excitement of the game was in the second half. In it, both teams attacked hard, had good opportunities to score and entertained the supporters. And two goals happened: first Sarzonia scored with Alvin, who got the ball after Nichols's shot hit Lemos, and shot with strength to the goal. But few minutes later Cafundéu replied with Rafael Nunes, receiving a pass from André Diniz and hitting the ball with a volley to score. Even after the two goals the supporters could be hopeful to see more action, but there were too many missed chances and the scoreline didn't change until the final whistle.

CAFUNDÉU 1x1 SARZONIA

Cafundéu - line-up: Murilo; Leonardo, Peixeira (Kléber 78'), William and Lemos; Werner, André Diniz, Miguel Silva (Edinho 78') and Paquetá; Anti Ilmari (Amate 63') and Rafael Nunes.
Coach: Ensio Varg.

Sarzonia - line-up: Henshaw; Maxwell, Prossett, Ciccone and Lewis; Raven, Graham (Putnam 69'), Clayton (Wood 45') and Alvin; Nichols and Chester.
Coach: Brett Hancock.

Goals:CAF: Rafael Nunes 51'.
SRZ: Alvin 49'.

Secristan

03-02-2009, 04:50

SUCCESSFUL START

The title defense for the Young Millionaires got off successfully as the team defeated Krytenia by the score of 2-0. It was exciting to see these players back in action, and thanks to a tremendous act of generosity by the Secristan Department of Sports, most of the country was in fact able to see the game. In the days leading up to the game, the SDOS announced that the games would be televised on free television, breaking the tradition of the team’s international games in any sport only being available on a pay-per-view basis. The last competition which was televised for free was the last Di Bradini Cup, but that was only because the SDOS did not see much profit potential in the matches. Since the team is fresh off a championship, the SDOS certainly could have been able to generate a profit on this Cup, so this announcement came as a surprise. Our SDOS spokeswoman Katie Simpson explains the decision, “As an entity, we are making a sacrifice here and that is very difficult to do. But in order to be successful in business you have to have long range goals and make short term sacrifices as we are right now. This is a result of our team having been so disappointing in World Cup qualifying and in the Cup of Harmony. Many of our fans were disgusted with the performance of the team so we have to make sure we don’t lose them as soccer fans. By having this be free, it is a gesture that we realize that product that we put out there for the Cup of Harmony sucked. We are hoping that our young core of players can have another nice run as they did in Candelaria And Marquez. That’s not saying we expect another championship, but we would like to take a good stab at it. In the long run, we excite back soccer fans that we might have lost, which is our agenda.”

During the match, there was a surprising fan in the stands. Eric Fraser’s dad, who claimed he had disowned his son after the Cassadaigua match of the last Cup was spotted in one of the upper sections of the stadium. He declined our request to be interviewed and seemed to be a little annoyed that he had been spotted by the Secristani media but his presence at the game makes you wonder and have hope that his relationship with his son can be repaired. Eric’s girlfriend, Stacie Kerrigan, was in a skybox with what looked to be some other members of the last Cassadaigua team, and they were rooting for the Millionaires. Four years ago, much of this team rebelled against their parents, and if we could see them start to repair a lot of those lost family ties it would be great. On the field, both teams played an exciting match with nothing between them in the first half. Brian Carver was strong in goal as was the Krytenian keeper. Finally, in the 57th minute, Andrew Bianchetti, the Young Millionaires leading scorer from four years ago put Secristan on the board. The lead doubled ten minutes later as Kurt MacMillan, one of the few starters on the roster that is not signed to an international contract, scored from just outside the box as the defender attempting to cover him slipped and fell, giving him open space for the shot. Everyone should be happy with this result and the team will look to carry this strong form against Cafundeu, who awaits them next.

Peisandros

03-02-2009, 10:03

After much anticipation, the Sandrian squad as been announced for the 8th Di Bradini Cup. Unsurprisingly, all the seven eligible players who played for the mens team in the World Cup have been selected. The rest of the players were mainly sourced from the inaugural Peisandros National U19 tournament. Interestingly, there are another set of twins playing for their country following in the footsteps of the Theotokis boys. The Maximos twins from Ephesum are defenders who have a fierce reputation in the national schools circuit. Another family connection is the Vourloumis brothers -- very similar to the Sisinis brothers. The most interesting pick of the squad is probably Keith Smith. English-born, he can only speak a limited amount of Greek but no Latin. Communication could be an issue, but he is a hugely talented footballer who should see game time.

The coach of the team, Alketas Alketas has brought an extra assistant for the tournament, with national coach Alexander Pappas helping out. His experience will be vital if the team are to succeed.

Anyway, the Peisandros squad:

Goalkeepers:
Calisto Pappas, Age: 21. (14 international caps)
Ektor Athanasiadis, Age: 17. (1 international cap)
Andreas Mavromichalis, Age: 18.

Defenders:
Alexander Maximos, Age: 15.
Luke Erasmus, Age: 19. (11 international caps)
Luke Sisinis, Age: 21. (21 international caps)
Grigoris Stergiadis, Age: 17.
Nikos Maximos, Age: 15.
Panagiotis Aggelis, Age: 19.
George Christakis-Zografos, Age: 20.
Arthur Vourloumis, Age: 21.

Midfielders:
Zarek Chatzi, Age: 20. (17 international caps)
Athanasios Krestenitis, Age: 21.
Petros Zaimis, Age: 16.
Soteri Pipinelis, Age: 17
Praxis Nikolaidis, Age: 18. (25 international caps)
John Leventis, Age: 18.
Terronious Vourloumis, Age: 17.
Hercules Dragoumis, Age: 21.

Strikers:
Lefteris Diakos, Age: 18. (6 international caps)
Odysseas Adraktas, Age: 15.
Gregory Roufos, Age: 14.
Keith Smith, Age: 17.

Coach: Alketas Alketas.
Assistant coach: John Voskopoulos
Assistant coach: Alexander Pappas

As with the men's team, the formation is 4-4-2.
(OOC: Don't know who I want to start just yet, haha. Also, not sure if there is a style modifier, but anyway, we'll go with -1.5.)

Newmanistan

03-02-2009, 11:56

(Enjoying the day off)

Loughran: Is there anything to see or do around here?

Turner: The clubs are pretty strict. It really sucks that you have to be 18 to drink here. I wish it could be 16 like back home.

Dempster: It only sucks if you under 18. And before you ask, no, I am not sneaking anybody in to anything.

Prescott (Billy unless otherwise stated): Who needs clubs when you got this. (holds out a piece of paper)

Loughran: Is that what I think it is?

Prescott: You know it. I’m leaving right after practice this morning to go to the Jeruselem game to check her out and then maybe we’ll hang out and get to know each other a lot better.

Turner: They aren’t off though. I don’t know who they play but….

Prescott: Taeshan. Oksana isn’t exactly worried.

Selvy: I think we should all go, and pretend we are going for the purpose of scouting Taeshan.

Loughran: Been there done that. I was hoping we could do something a little different. Newmanistanian teams are rumored to not be varied enough. We spend too much time chasing women.

Stilwell: Or listening to our coaches get interviewed.

Rocco: Or reading repetitive Rocket Reports. Shawn’s right, let’s do something different to spice up our team. Let’s not be the same old Newmanistan.

Stilwell: Anyone have any ideas?

Turner: Animals! Talking animals! Everyone loves animals!

Prescott: Reminds me of the whole Sidney the Evil Penguin deal my father told me about back in Oxen Cup, what was it, six I think? The one where we went to the final.

Loughran: Yeah six. If we reincarnated Sidney it would be a little too obvious.

Selvy: Maybe we should play football with bats. That would create for different themed media reports.

Stilwell: Good idea, except for the fact that the referees would not permit it.

Turner: Sorthern Northland has this weird fear of swans and ducks for some reason. Maybe we should dress up in costumes to get them all scared.

Rocco: That would probably work, but I would also feel as if it inhibited my own ability.

Loughran: Yeah scratch that idea.

Prescott: I guess we’re just not cut out for this whole be more varied bit. So let’s just go be typical Newmanistanians and chase women.

Turner: Alright you win.

Prescott: Now I must call Oksana.

Sarzonia

03-02-2009, 19:01

Brett Hancock fidgeted slightly on the players' bench as the second half began.

His Sarzonian Under 21 national football side had just played a probing first half against Cafundéu. Neither side dented the net behind the goalkeeper as both teams exchanged scoring chances.

At halftime, he told the Junior Stars they'd have to play more aggressively.

"We won't have a chance to do well here unless we play Sarzonian football," Hancock said in the locker room. "We can't just sit back and let the game happen. We've got to take it to Cafundéu."

And take it to Cafundéu they did. Sarzonia midfielder Joey Alvin saw an opportunity as Cafundéu became casual with the ball and jumped a crossing effort from defender Ulisses Lemos. He drew two Cafundéu defenders to him, then slotted a ball to forward Tony Chester. Alvin began to backpedal until he saw Hancock point three times with his right index finger to his ear. He knew that signal: Join the attack.

Chester sent a through ball to fellow forward Jody Nichols, who fired a blistering shot that caromed off the small of Lemos's back. Alvin pounced on the shot and the ball cracked into the back of the net 49 minutes on for a 1:0 Sarzonia lead.

However, the Junior Stars (0-1-0, one point) visibly relaxed after finally earning the tally. Cafundéu made them pay just two minutes later. Alvin tried to clear a ball out of the 18-yard box, but it hit off the chest of midfielder André Diniz, who sent a quick pass to forward Rafael Nunes. Nunes left Sarzonian goalkeeper Mike Henshaw with no chance and Cafundéu equalised.

The rest of the match saw missed opportunities, mostly from Cafundéu, but when the final whistle sounded, some of the Junior Stars players showed relief they'd finished a poor match with a draw. However, that relief ended when Hancock walked into the locker room.

"We didn't deserve to win or draw today," he said. "We should have lost this match 3-1. Give credit to Mike that we earned this draw. I expect better effort from all of you when we face Krytenia."

"Coach, who do we have after that?"

"I have no clue," Hancock said. "I want you to concentrate on Krytenia. Period. We'll see you at 6 a.m. tomorrow morning. Dismissed."

Afterwards, Hancock looked at the schedule, then motioned goalkeeping coach Troy Perkins.

"Troy, have you heard of this country?"

"Which one?"

"This one? We're supposed to play them on Matchday Four, but I've never heard of them."

"Can't say I have."

Jeruselem

04-02-2009, 06:21

Jeruselem Government News

Pistachio Nut Farming game surprises

A game about Pistachio Nut farming? Smoking too nuts? Well, JGN did a review of this game expecting some lame crap game for kids but it's good. The game is quite educational teaching one the basics of Pistachio Nut farming as well as handling tricky things like exports. If you get stuck, there's an advisor on hand too help out and give a bit of advice. She looks suspiciously like Scarlet Ferris though.

This game is not for kids and challenges the most savvy of gamers. It's based on a real life farm (run by the Ferris family) and is remarkably realistic in it's simulation of a nut business. It's really more of simulation than a game. It does not use flat boring graphics but is fully 3D. There's fantastic scenes of your own farm and you can take images of your farm is progresses or dies.

The diplomancy in the game seems very amusing with all Southern Northlanders keep on a drink (or more) and Septentrionians featuring a lot. Throwing nuts at Dallas girls is not good business in this game but sleeping with right ones seems to help.

If you're planning to become a Pistachio Nut farmer, we recommend this game. Although this game seems to be covert advertising for the Ferris farm, we think it's a winner. The timing is a bit suspicious with Scarlet and Oksana (aka "Pups") Ferris in Starblaydia for the under 21 cup. Yes, all the profits from this game go to the Ferris farm. If you find the humour the game a bit strange, the couple owning the Ferris farm come from Septentrionia although it was sold to them by the Dallas family.

Daehanjeiguk

04-02-2009, 20:26

Shin: The Supervisor still hasn't heard anything from the Office yet?

Shim: Nope. Maybe Hwang was telling the truth... Of course, we'll never really know if the phone cable still is unplugged...

SUPER: What's this? I'm getting news from the Office about raining fish cakes!!

Shin & Shim: Where?

SUPER: I don't know, they didn't say. It was hard using a telegraph of all things... by the way, who cut the telephone line?

Shin: Ummm... I don't know. Maybe Hwang did it.

Shim: Yeah, he's like that.

SUPER: Well, I need one of you two to fix it. I've forgotten how to do telegraphs. This one took me five hours just to receive. I kept going "repeat" on the damned thing.

Shin: I don't think that's a good idea at the moment.

SUPER: Why?

Shim: Well, think of it this way. If Hwang cut the phone lines, he can't call the pizza guy...

SUPER: Pizza guy? What pizza guy?

Shin: Ummm... no one...

SUPER: Just fix the damned phone line. *exits*

Shin: I'm going to KILL Hwang.

Shim: Whoa, no need for all of that enthusiasm. We'll just have to lock Hwang up.

Shin: What about the pizza guy? And the fish cake guy?

Shim: We'll have to figure out how to get them out of here...

Wang: I've run out of anesthetics. The pizza guy and the fish cake guy will be awake in any moment now.

Shin: Wait, we had anesthetics?

Wang: That's how I've been keeping those guys quiet. But if we run out, we're going to have to kill them.

Shim: We can't kill them.

Wang: Technically, they will killed as spies. No one can know about this place.

Shin: Even the Office?

Wang: Especially the Office.

Shim: I wonder how they keep calling us then...

*door knocks*

Shin & Shim: WTF?

* voice from outside: "Candygram!" *

Shin: Who ordered a %$#^ candygram?!?

Shim: I think I know who, but I don't know how.

Hwang: Hey guys! I got Shin a candygram.

Shin: Oh, how sweet! *cuddles Hwang*

Shim: Where did you get the candygram?

Hwang: I ordered it online. They just delivered it. I'll admit, it's a bit early for Valentines' Day...

Wang: Online? *runs out to get the candygram guy*

Shim: We need to lock you up...

Shin: But he gave me a candygram! Isn't that so sweet?

Shim: You're getting a little crazy too.

Hwang: Crazy? I'll tell you crazy. That pizza dude is really awkward.

Shim: Pizza dude?

Hwang: Yeah. I saw him sleeping in the closet with the fish cake guy. With duct tape...

Shim: That sounds like what we need to do to you.

Wang: *running back with candygram guy* We're out of anesthetics, and I'm down to the last roll of duct tape. Hwang, for the love of God, STOP CALLING FOR FOOD! If you want popcorn, I'll go out and buy some. Just stop CALLING for FOOD!

*pause*

Hwang: You're really stressed out. Maybe Shim should get you a candygram...

Starblaydia

04-02-2009, 21:07

I Give My Opponent Permission
(and actively encourage them) To:
====================
Choose My Scorers
GodMod Any Goalscoring Events
Yellow Card Players
GodMod Other Events for Humorous Intent
====================

Notes:
1) The best starting eleven are numbered 1-11 and are in bold

2) I actively encourage, nay nearly demand, that if you RP first you pick my scorers (if any).

3) * Denotes female player, ^ Denotes Dwarf player.

4) Starblaydia will perform the Raiigar (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/Raiigar.html) war dance before each match they play.

http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/SFA-Logo.gif
Starblaydia's 8th Di Bradini Cup Roster
1st in AO, 2nd in the World, Nowhere in U21s!

The Staff
BD. Bazrador Drakkiborgo (http://www.nswiki.net/index.php?title=Bazrador_Drakkiborgo)*, Manager, 38 - World Cup 41 Winner, AOCAF Cup 23 Winner
76 Caps, 2 Goals (7 Caps, 0 Goals at Under-21 Level)
After coaching the 25th AOCAF side to the Final - where they lost on penalties - he takes a good chunk of players who have already made their senior debuts into the Under-21 set-up, hoping that their experiences there will stand them in good stead for this competition.

The Goalkeepers
1. Gareth Dixon, GK, 21 - Foxchester Raiders
12. Lucas Cárdenas Muñiz, GK, 16 - Mar Sara FC (Valanora)
19. Stefanos Sophronia, GK, 14 - Basian Valley

The Defenders
2. Appraecio Ronaldo, RB, 21 - Paricone Athletic FC
3. Mordecai Ramann, LB, 20 - Jhanna Praetoran University
5. Avanti Alfonso, C/LB, 17 - FC Farça
6. Tuomas Hindenburg, Captain, CB/DM, 19 - Vecchio Victors
13. Elaine Threepwood, RB/RM, 16 - Penningworth United
14. Nathaniel King, CB, 17 - Veles
20. Apprentice Apostolos, CB, 15 - Hecia

The Midfielders
4. Rafaelo, DM, 17 - Iskara Daii
7. Apprentice Juan, RM, 18 - Hecia
8. Gabrielle Johnson, A/LM, 19 - Avidia City FC (Krytenia)
11. Ricardao dos Santos, C/LM, 21 - Corinthian Spirits
15. Francisco Martinez, CM, 20 - Penningworth United
16. Dallas Matranga, RM, 16 - Jhanna United
17. Alessandro Gomes, AM/SC, 17 - Cedrus Soundgardia
21. Solomon Dante, C/LM, 16 - Tribe Urjali
22. Julius Starblayde, RW, 14 - Jhanna Praetoran High School

The Forwards
9. Lii Hyo-Jin, SC, 17 - Seoan Gukjei (Daehanjeiguk)
10. Ryu Jones, SC, 21 - Seoan Gukjei (Daehanjeiguk)
18. Dolmir Khazavhari, SC, 19 - Jhanna Praetoran University
23. Soraya Roshanak, SC, 15 - Corinthian Spirits

The Formation
http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm1/Starblayde/StarDBC8.jpg

Home And Away Kits:
Kits created by:
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/ediraflogo.jpg
http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm1/Starblayde/StarHome4-1.jpghttp://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm1/Starblayde/StarAway4.jpg

Starblaydia

04-02-2009, 23:13

http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/SFA-Logo.gif
Matchday Two Scores

Group A
Starblaydia 2-0 Lovisa
Nethertopia 1-2 Yafor 2

Group B
The Macabees 0-1 Krytenia
Secristan 3-3 Cafundéu

Group C
Peisandros 1-2 Sorthern Northland
Taeshan 0-3 Jeruselem

Group D
Elves Security Forces 1-0 Koseli Cumhuriyetler
Dancougar 1-3 Daehanjeiguk

Krytenia

04-02-2009, 23:15

Please assume YES for all answers in the Permission Box – just don’t kill anyone, K?

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/KFA.png

KRYTENIA UNDER-21 SQUAD
Modifier: +2

THE MANAGEMENT TEAM

Manager: Ross VERMEULEN, 36
Assistant Manager: David HELLMUTH, 41

THE SQUAD

Goalkeepers

#1 GK Jeremy FROST Age: 20
#13 GK Eric SCHARNER Age: 18
#22 GK Anthony STRAUSS Age: 17

Defenders

#3 RB Lewis TREVELYAN Age: 20
#15 RB Neil KASPER Age: 18
#5 CB Bart GRAVES Age: 20 - Captain
#6 CB Jonathan KELLEHER Age: 17
#12 CB Ian SELYER Age: 20
#16 CB Cameron SMITH Age: 19
#2 LB Derek ASANOVIC Age: 21
#20 LB Scott MERRICK Age: 16

Midfielders

#7 RM Danny PALOMERO Age: 21
#19 RM Gordon ORMONDROYD Age: 21
#8 CM Will BRADIC Age: 18
#4 CM Kiefer LLOYD Age: 14
#14 CM Nick GARRIDO Age: 20
#18 CM Colin QUICK Age: 20
#11 LM Andy SPATCHISS Age: 19
#21 LM Owen KLINT Age: 17

Forwards

#9 CF Alex ZANDER Age: 21
#10 CF Glenn ROJAS Age: 19
#17 CF Arnie TUDOR Age: 18
#23 CF Michael XOUSA Age: 20

LIKELY STARTERS
Frost
Trevelyan - Graves - Kelleher - Asanovic
Palomero - Bradic - Lloyd - Spatchiss
Zander - Rojas

THE KITS

Manufactured by:
http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/ediraflogo.jpg

http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm1/Starblayde/ediraf/KryHome4.jpg http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm1/Starblayde/ediraf/KryAway4.jpg http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm1/Starblayde/ediraf/KryThird4.jpg

Jeruselem

05-02-2009, 02:41

Jaime: I see we have a few extra Newmanistani supporters today.
Lara: The Newmanistani team have the bye today.
Jaime: Where's Pups?
Lara: Apparently, she's gone to talk to some fans.

Jaime: Like Brian Prescott ...
Lara: You're just jealous.
Jaime: I guess I am.
Lara: No one wants to talk to goalkeepers?

Jaime: Maybe they think goalkeepers are bitches with attitude.
Lara: Oh come on, you've got big boobies! Someone likes you.
Jaime: Well, I don't attract as many fans as you or Pups.
Lara: I take my clothes off a lot for attention.

Jaime: Oh yes, you're a model. Pups likes a good time too.
Lara: She's a farmer, it's not everyday you see hot farmers.
Jaime: At least there's plenty of guys on this team to pick from.
Lara: I think the guys on the Newmanistan team are pretty hot too.

Jaime: Apparently, they like chasing girls during their spare time.
Lara: Why do think there are here then?
Jaime: Yes, explains a lot.
Lara: Say, want to go clubbing?

Jaime: I don't have any money.
Lara: I've got money.
Jaime: But you whore yourself for that.
Lara: But I work hard to whore myself still.

Jaime: Maybe we'll just go visit the Newmanistan team.
Lara: I'm sure Pups is there already.
Jaime: She's party central.
Lara: Considering there's no Dallas here, she's taken over as party queen.

Jaime: The coach was a bit of party animal.
Lara: Well, she was famous for her nudity too.
Jaime: At least she's settled down.
Lara: I don't think so either.

Jaime: OK, she's slowed down ...
Lara: Nah, just older and wiser but still a bike.
Jaime: I can see what you're going be like when you're old.
Lara: I'm not a Pistachio nutter though

Dancougar

05-02-2009, 03:24

Dancougar News!!
Got to hand it to Pitt kids. Win Super Bowl, burn bus stop.

College all-stars fail to make the grade: We're used to seeing better from the various teams assembled for tournaments between World Cups, and after last night's 3-1 defeat to Daehanjeiguk in the eighth Di Bradini Cup, is it about time to say this bunch has flopped?

Given who their final two matches are against, probably not. At least they showed some improvement in the loss. Although they seemed to lack focus and ambition against the Turks in their opening match, this time they were simply outplayed by the Han. Also coming out in a 4-4-2, Yu Giheun's team ran out to an early lead and made sure to grab control of the midfield early. The Wings were forced to work hard for possession early and took until midway through the first half to develop any sort of rhythm.

"I think we had some decent chances, and we were able to start stringing some passes together," said Paul Spudy. "But we spent too much time just reacting to what they were doing. We didn't show any creativity until we were already down."

Kim Gyeongan opened the scoring in the 9th minute by smoothly converting a brilliant pass from midfielder Han Jungan. The defense left too big a gap for Jungan, who threaded the ball to a wide-open Gyeongan in the danger zone. Gyeongan nearly doubled the lead just minutes later, and it took until Pak Jiseong's laser in the 33rd for Daehanjeiguk to get their second goal.

The Wings got one back in the 59th minute when Stefan Rosberg headed home a cross from Cody Horrigan that would've been cleared if Kim Iljun had timed his jump correctly. The Wings woke up and fought hard over the next ten minutes for the equalizer, producing their best spell of football in the tournament. But they left themselves vulnerable to a breakout counterattack, which produced the Han's third goal in the 71st.

"The pace of the game... it is faster," said goalkeeper Artur Komarov, who was one of the best in the nation last season for Barynsk College. "It's much harder to track everything that still be able to find the ball."

The Wings still have matches against Elves Security Forces and Candelaria and Marquez.

Newmanistan

05-02-2009, 08:00

(Conversation between head coach Brian Carson and his assistant Chris Merrill)

Carson: Alright, who is responsible for convincing Loudon Party Costumes to bring three men down here in swan suits and sit on our sideline?

Man in Swan Costume: Can I come in?

Carson: No, this is a private meeting and I don’t know if you are a spy.

Man in Swan Costume: Oh I just wanted to make sure that it was ok with you that I run out onto the field in the 20th minute and chase their goalkeeper.

Merrill: Yes, do it.

Carson: No, don’t!

Merrill: Oh come on. And yes on the duck meat.

Carson: Duck meat? Chris what are you doing?

Man in Swan Costume: Great! I’ll see you guys at the game!

Merrill: Sorthern Northland has this strange fear.

Carson: I am aware of their fear.

Merrill: This is a better idea then having our players dress up. The 20th minute thing was his idea but I like it. The first play stoppage after the 20th minute he’s going to run out on the field and attack Dirk Weber, their keeper.

Carson: I really do not approve of that. We don’t need to be resorting to gimmicks. We’re here to play football.

Merrill: I could tell him not too. But you would really, really hurt his feelings. He is really looking forward to that. You wouldn’t want to hurt the feelings of an overgrown child in a swan suit would you?

Carson: Well I want nothing to do with it. When he gets arrested by security, I am not helping him get out.

Merrill: Don’t worry, we have that covered.

Carson: What’s the deal with the duck meat?

Merrill: Oh nothing.

Carson: You’re afraid I won’t approve, aren’t you?

Merrill: Well uhmm, yeah. Again you would really hurt his feelings if we didn’t do it.

Carson: Fine. Can I know anyway?

Merrill: The men in the costumes are going to hand them out to our supporters in the stands and anyone else that is there to root for us, and they are going to throw them at the other Sorthern Northland players when the man in the costume runs onto the field and attacks their goalkeeper.

Carson: Where have I heard that before.

Merrill: Small pieces of duck meat will be thrown at their players over the course of the game, but especially when the man in the swan costume attacks Weber after the 20th minute. With their fear of ducks and swans, having duck meat tossed at them may really make them freak out.

Carson: That sounds expensive.

Merrill: Dover City Mutual is funding it. It’s fine.

Carson: Remind me never to do business with them.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(Meanwhile, players get together)

McClure: What took you guys so long to get back from your scouting of Taeshan?

Stilwell: Well, we had a lot to go over after the match.

Turner: Absolutely, exhausting work.

McClure: I still don’t understand why you guys went to that match, just for Taeshan. The Sorthern Northland-Peisandros match is more meaningful because we still have to play both teams, not to mention the Northerners are next.

Stilwell: Andrew, I am so glad that you have your priorities straight. You are absolutely correct, that game would have made more sense for us to go to.

McClure: Wish you would have realized that before. Me and a couple others though fortunately realized that would be the more logical game to attend and we went there with coach Carson.

Stilwell: Nice job, I am sure you all got valuable information.

McClure: Well yes, I think we did. It was a good match, the Northerners pulled it out in the end. Coach made some tapes I am sure he will give to you.

Stilwell: Thank you I look forward to getting them.

McClure: What did you notice about Taeshan?

Stilwell: They suck.

McClure: Uh huh. Like how? What don’t they do well?

Stilwell: Play football. Man they got crushed, we really didn’t pick any positives up on them. It should be an easy win.

McClure: I guess when a team loses 3-nil that would be the case.

(Stilwell nods and walks away, and towards Billy Prescott)

Stilwell: So? How was she?

Prescott: Well you know that hard style of play she likes out on the field, right?

Stilwell: Uh huh (ears perking up with interest)

Prescott: The football field isn’t the only place she is like that.

Stilwell: Go on….

Prescott: That should about sum it up. I like her, we actually did talk for quite a while too. We have a lot in common. We play this game the same way and I think it has brought us together. We both have successful parents who have gone before us. So we both know the highs and lows, the benefits and the pressures that go with that. I think everyone knows I’m being groomed to be our next captain, just like she is now.

Stilwell: That’s cool, I guess. As for the captain bit, that could be true but it’s not just going to be handed you because of your last name.

Prescott: I realize that. I will definitely work for it, I can’t let my father down. He never played in the World Cup but I want him to see me in it. Pups is sweet, we’re both young, so who knows. I do like her though.

Stilwell: Good luck, Billy.

Prescott: Thanks.

Peisandros

05-02-2009, 10:47

Loss unsurprising as squad struggles to 'gel'

The Peisandros National U21 Football team suffered an early loss in their first Di Bradini Cup, going down to Southern Northland 2-1. The main issue was composure and communication as the players failed to work well as a team. Infact the Sandrians all thought they could win the game by themselves. Strikers Daikos and Smith seemed to both converge on every through or long ball, causing much confusion between them. In defence, keeper Pappas had no chance as he watched his defence implode. Captain Luke Sisinis seemed to be to busy trying to be a hero to realise he had left his man wide open -- leading to the first goal in the 21st minute.

Later in the second half, it was a piece of Southern Northland brilliance which saw the score extend to 2-0. Defenders A. Maximos and Erasmus were left looking silly as a silky striker slid through them and scored a solid goal.

It wasn't until the 88th minute that Peisandros managed to put something up on the scoreboard, with superstar Nikolaidis showing his worth once again. After a stellar solo effort, he slotted the ball past the despairing keeper.

2-1 the final score and the Sandrians left with much work to do in order to match the men's team.

Secristan

05-02-2009, 11:16

THE RICH RENEW ACQUAINTANCES

On the road to winning the 7th Di Bradini Cup, between the classic quarterfinal with Cassadaigua and the triumphant championship victory over Nethertopia there was an incredible semifinal between two nations with brilliant systems of revenue generation. Cafundeu outclassed the Young Millionaires for much of this match, jumping out to a 4-1 lead after an hour of play. In the 66th minute, the amazing rally began. They tied the match and went on to win in penalty kicks. Leave it to Monopolists and Millionaires to provide outstanding entertainment. Last night, many high class individuals from both nations were in attendance to see the rematch. As was the case in Candelaria And Marquez four years ago, these successful men and women spent as much time exchanging business cards during the match as they did watching it. Once again, the two countries had little problem scoring goals as the game would end in a 3-all draw. Neither team had more then a single goal advantage at any time during the match. For the Young Millionaires, Michael Cardona had a pair of goals and Chris Coventry added the late 82nd minute equalizer that sent this game to the draw.

The Secristan Department of Sports was pleased with the result, but even more pleased with the amount of Cafundeu-based companies that paid for advertising spots on Secristani television. Our SDOS representative, Katie Simpson said of that, “It just proves how brilliant Cafundeu-based organizations are at pouncing on any kind of opportunity to advertise and profit. They know we have a perfect market base for them, and the fees in which we collected were outstanding. The increased competition for advertising spots meant that we had to cut out of game action a little more then we wanted too in order to present these companies and their exciting offers to our people, but that is just a small price of success. These games are on free TV anyway so as far as I see it they don’t have any right to complain about the amount of commercials in the telecast since you get what you pay for. They may be upset that the second Cafundeu goal was scored while we were in a Globo Multimedia advertisement, I just call it ironic that Cafundeu scored while one of their wealthiest businesses was advertising on our stations. That was really pretty neat!” There is no such thing as split screen advertising with game action in Secristan, for those foreigners who may wonder.

Candelaria And Marquez

05-02-2009, 18:59

From: Agent 087

Date: 5th February, 2009 [WRST]

To:....CMIS Head Office

Cc:....Adam Evans, Julia Reis, Johanna Wilbur, Jenny Harris MP, Tate Sayfritz MP, TJ Irons MP, L, F, “Todd Williams”, Wyllow Shanahan, “Abu Abdullaah ‘Ubaidallah `abd al-Rahman ibn Shadi ibn Waleed al-Hallaj”, 088, 02, “Ben Davis”, “Lauren Morgan”, Adam Farren, Katie Dhong, W, Wb

Subject: TOP SECRET ENCRYPTED INTELLIGENCE SERVICE BRIEFING

_______________________________________________________________

Hi to you all, back in chilly old C&M! Been watching the snow on the feeds… not that there’s much to watch! Come on, that’s a light dusting at worst – I reckon I’ve been away too long, but how soft is everyone back home these days? Grab yer shovel and get to it, people!

Any road up, things have been getting just slightly hot over here this week. There’s just something in the air with the travelling Candelariasians, you can feel it. You M.O.R.T. people’d know better than me, but they’re seeming far more eager to ask questions of their ‘tour guides’ and that, and you here whisperings when the occasional dwarf rumbles by, not to mention the elves now. Actually, it’s more laughing than whispering, trying not to take any of these silly rumours too seriously, but clearly they’re getting annoyed about not being allowed to wander around that much. It doesn’t help that it’s been six years since they were last here – well, several months, but you get my point – so it’s basically a whole new set of fans who really aren’t at all up with the particular restrictions in place (for their own benefit, obviously) when travelling to and in Starblaydia.

The MORT are really walking a tightrope here, getting the balance right between trying not to give the impression to the supporters than they’re basically being held prisoner here, and letting them too far off the leash. My lot’re doing the best we can to help, but we’ve got our own little merry-go-round with the local constabulary of one form or another… They seem to have more security services than you can shake a stick at here, what with them scary bints from the C.A.I.R.E.S., or whatever it’s called, and – less expectedly – the Starblaydi Inquisition, bu-dum-tish.

There’s already been incidents… Mostly involving local normos, for whom Candelariasian-baiting is becoming quite the modern fad. Thank God they won the WC, which has generally kept them quiet – or not, strictly speaking… frankly, I’m scared to leave the house most of the time for fear of being dragged into a conga line. Ooh, they’re happy… I guess it also helps that this place, all its flaws aside, is about as tolerant of minority cultures as you can get, so the batty beliefs of an obscure group of foreigners are hardly worth worrying about. But seriously, and I reckon I’m in the position to stress this – for God’s sake don’t take anything for granted, post-bears. With an operation like this, complacency simply can’t be allowed to slip in. Remember, the blues are playing the Vanorians in the final group game – and it’s one thing corralling even hundreds of thousands of the buggers in our back yard, quite another in someone else’s.

‘Course, if Zabojnik doesn’t stick three up front from now on, or at least stop shoving Saunderson out on the right, cos I can totally see Kazim Kazaga making mincemeat of him and Logan, if it comes to it… With a bit of luck we’ll lose, and the elf match’ll be totally redundant. We can but hope, anyhow.

Whatever, I’m babbling… What I meant to email you all about was the following CCTV we intercepted out of Tabeck last night – we’re concerned, frankly, and I’m wondering at this point whether it wouldn’t be worth giving the Sorthern Secret Service a heads up, in the spirit of international solidarity and that. Could have implications for back home too, if there’s a worldswide movement afoot.

http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w175/candelariaandmarquez/Swans1.png

http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w175/candelariaandmarquez/Swans2.png

Although, thinking about it, how do we actually get in contact with the SSS? Aren’t they supposed to be, y’know… secret? I know Big Dave’s uncle Terry’s on their books, but he tries so hard and it’d be unsporting to blow his cover.

Whatever. Your problem, LOL!

Karl and Roberto say hi. Love to all yous and yours, then,

“Dimzad Grumziban”/Agent 087
Candelaria And Marquez Intelligence Service [Exterior, AO Operations, Bekkside Division]

P.S. Don’t spose there’s any fear of one of you lot sending me some good, old-fashioned, Candelariasian tea bags, is there? The taproot muck they have here… Couple of boxes of Uuheesah would do me the world of good. Bless ya.

Daehanjeiguk

05-02-2009, 19:48

Hwang: Hello?

Shin: We're not letting you out, Hwang.

Hwang: What happened to the candygram?

Shim: I ate it.

Hwang: But I gave it to Shin!

Shim: Shin's going on a diet. The candygram guy said she was fat. Now she's upset that you bought that despicable gift in the first place.

Hwang: Well, didn't you like it?

Shim: I hate chocolate.

Shin: And I'm FAT!

Hwang: No, you're not! That's just skin...

Shim: Wrong answer.

Shin: *whacks Hwang crazily* I'M FAT, YOU MISERABLE CHEAPSKATE!

Shim: Shin, pay attention, I think we may have something here.

Shin: What is it?

Shim: Shin, look at the screen. And come on, you're not fat. Just because some lousy no-lifer tells you you're fat doesn't mean anything.

Shin: But am I? Look at me! All I do is just sit around and do nothing. I mean, I'm a fat producing factory! I'm all lard!

Wang: You're as skinny as a bone, Shim. You should get some more fat.

Shim: Did I just hear that right?

Hwang: He said you're not fat.

Shin: He said that you need more fat.

Shim: Why can't guys just say we're perfect as we are?

Wang: Because you're not? You're too self-centered and everything little thing in the world bothers you. And because they're perfect, their boyfriends must also be perfect too. But since I know I'm not perfect, I might as well break the news to you.

Shim: Okay, you're going into the locker.

Wang: Hey! *thrown in the locker with Hwang, the pizza guy, fish cake guy, and candygram guy* Hey!!!

Shim: Boys - so immature.

SUPER: Alright, which one of you pressed the button?

Shin: What button?

SUPER: The ones sitting right in front of you. I've got reports of anatid invasions of the general Atlantian Oceania region. Starblaydia in particular, although an isolated incident has been noted in Sorthern Northland...

Shim: We didn't press the button.

SUPER: Oh, so this is a normal occurrence?

Shin: The birds do migrate. Maybe it just happens that they all want to vacation in Atlantian Oceania? After all, they're having a freak winter in Rushmore, I've heard.

Shim: True. This time-elapse synchronization may have just come up at the right time for all of these birds to be migrating at the same time.

SUPER: *thinks* Hm. Sometimes fact is stranger than fiction. And freaky. Well, keep up the good work. Oh, and put on some clothes. You both look rather ridiculous.

Wang: Don't say anything!!!

SUPER: What the heck is Wang doing in the locker?

Shin: And why should we wear our clothes?

SUPER: I said you looked ridiculous.

Shim: Okay, he's going too. *throws the Supervisor into the Locker*

SUPER: HEY! What was that for? And who the %$#^ are these people?!?

Pizza guy: Hey.
Fish cake guy: Whaddup?
Candygram guy: Yo.

Hwang: Join the party.

SUPER: Shin! Shim! GET ME OUT OF HERE!

Shin: Hmm, I wonder what happens if we press this button...

SUPER, Wang, Hwang: NOOOOO!!!

*** Somewhere in Dancougar ***

Someguy1: I've got reports of large mechanical descending from the sky.

Someguy2: Where'd they come from?

Someguy1: I... don't know. They just appeared. They're coming in two squadrons - 11 units each.

Someguy2: We've got to warn the people!

Someguy1: Actually, waitaminute... they're stopped somewhere over Schlieffen.

Someguy2: That place where the rebels were crushed?

Someguy1: Yeah. They're now assembling in some awkward formation.

Someguy2: What kind?

Someguy1: Whatever it is, it's not military. They've just picked up a giant globe and they're rolling it on the ground...

Someguy2: Is that what I think it is?

*** Back in Control Room ***

SUPER: Robots playing football. Genius. I think the Office of Paranormal Activities is going to have a field day with that one.

Shin: Actually, if you've read the news recently, that's not paranormal.

Shim: Just slightly abnormal.

Hwang: Okay. So why do they get to get away with pressing the button?

Wang: Well, when they press a button, not very unusual events happen; when you press it, the world gets a new definition for 'bizarre'.

SUPER: And we're stuck in here...

Sorthern Northland

05-02-2009, 23:30

http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr245/SorthernNorthland/SNpaper.png

THE END IS NIGH! LOCK UP YOUR DONKEYS!!!

“ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH AAAARG AAARGH ARGH THEY'RE HERE!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH.”

That was the reaction of many in Sorthern Northland as the moment many have feared for the last several years. Not a Bostopian invasion, an invasion far far far worse. The invasion of the anatidae has well and truly arrived. Village ponds, country lakes and scenic rivers today found themselves playing host to the invasion force of several million members of various species of anatids, ranging from the fearsome mallard to the deadly mute swan to the menacing Emperor Goose. The government has said it will instruct the armed forces to repel the invasion as best it can, but the battle is almost certainly expected to be a lost one. Although sudden in nature the attack is not entirely unexpected as revealed by “little” Dave in Little Clotaire who received a dossier complete with CCTV images of swans preparing an invasion force. The dossier is thought to have been sent by the Candelaria And Marquez Intelligence Service and intended for the Sorthern Secret Service. The mix up is thought to have occurred when the postman delivering the dossier misread the address on the envelope. And presumably the “TOP SECRET. DO NOT DELIVER TO WRONG ADDRESS” warning that was on the back of the envelope.

The anatidae invasion clearly spells the end of Sorthern Northland, however a number of so called migratory “experts” have spent their last few hours trying to convince the nation that the attackers mean no harm and that the sudden influx of ducks, geese and swans is nothing more than the result of a cold snap in Rushmore leading to a larger than usual migration of birds from the Rushmore region to Atlantian Oceania. However this is clearly disproved as shown by the SHOCKING images sent in by our readers, as shown below.

http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr245/SorthernNorthland/invasion.jpghttp://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr245/SorthernNorthland/kii.jpghttp://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr245/SorthernNorthland/gi.jpg
Left:Sadhbh Ní Bhranagáin sent us this image of an aerial attack outside Corcaigh. Centre:Juana Stoica from Tioka sent us this image of "swans dragging my pet springer spaniel into a river and killing it". Right:Anton Burianova took this photo of a huge duck laying siege to Beningrad's dockyards.

U21's expect further swan attacks

With Sorthern Northland under attack, players at the Di Bradini in Starblaydia have expressed their fear at being attacked during the tournament by ducks and swans. Speaking in Morse code to avoid detection by KILLER birds, the U21 team's assistant manager told us “dot dot dot dash dash dash dot dash dot dot dash” amongst other things. Once we'd found our codebook we managed to decipher that he'd told us he had concerns that certain teams were hiring swans to attack Sorthern players in a bid to unsettle the Sorthern team, and that he'd also heard of plans for Newmanistani fans to throw duck meat at the Sorthern players, which he didn't understand “as a dead duck can't really attack you. We know that cos we've found the best way of stopping them attacking us is to kill them”.

In other Di Bradini news, striker Renzo Sportelli was forced to deny baseless accusations that he was responsible for releasing foxes near a Jeruselemite farm. The untruthful accusations came after the farm reported that a number of it ducks had been eaten and after Sportelli was left out of the Sorthern team for their opening Di Bradini games. Having called a press conference to deny the accusation Sportelli said, “It wasn't me. I never did it and you can't prove anything. Apart from that I didn't do it.” As for the tournament itself the team seem to be coping fine without Sportelli, with his replacement, Iñaki Arrigorriagakoa, getting his second brace in as many games in a two one win over Peisandros. Sportelli is expected to return to the squad for the next game, against Newmanistan, although he'll probably have to settle for a place on the bench.

Cafundeu

05-02-2009, 23:35

GAZETA DO POVO - ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS HERE!
Sports Section - article written by Carlos Alberto Gujabre
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SECOND DRAW WORRIES COACH

After the draw by the result of 1x1 in the game against Sarzonia, the Monopolists played against Secristan. A game against Secristan is even an excellent event. Not exactly for the fans, as they usually prefer to see their team playing against the more famous footballing nations (although in the Di Bradini Cup the more famous nations often aren't the best ones), but for the Cafundelense companies, which can have another investiment alternative in the game: sponsoring in the Secristan media and making commercial deals during the game in the VIP areas of the stadium. The leader of the Clube das 20, which involves the 20 biggest Cafundelense companies (and some other too, with a total of 33 associates) said after the game that the commercial activity involving the game was very good, surpassing the predictions, and that this will be an important motivator for future deals between Cafundéu and Secristan.

Now talking about the game, the intense play and good amount of goal chances surprised the supporters, who will probably go home happy (as their money was well spent). Secristan and Cafundéu played a top quality game (like in the other time they've had played), and in the end the draw was the fairest result. During the game, the Millionaires started better, scoring before the tenth minute with the attacker Cardona. Cafundéu tried to reply with a goal for many minutes, but Secristan controlled well the Monopolists. They held the Cafundelense team until after the middle of the half, when Rafael Nunes invaded the area after a pass from Paquetá, dribbled the goalkeeper and shot to score. The draw seemed to be the result of the first half, but Cardona appeared again to score the second goal for Secristan in the last minutes of the half, being helped by an insane duck which invaded the field and attacked the goalkeeper Murilo, who was able to kill the duck before he could suffer serious injuries.

Cafundéu had a big responsibility in the second half, being pressed by the supporters to react in the game. Focusing its attacks in the centre of the field, the team tried to score with long ranged shots, individual plays and short passes, but these strategies weren't working. Then, Ensio Varg invested in the crossings, and the Monopolists finally could score. Paquetá headed to the goal after a crossing from Leonardo. The good moment of Cafundéu in the game continued, and the team took the lead with Werner, who took the ball from an opponent in their area and shot to score the third goal. Unfortunately, the team wasn't able to hold the positive result, and suffered a goal, scored by Coventry. With this goal, the game's result was a draw. Now, with two draws in two games, the coach Ensio Varg will have to think about making changes for the third game. At least one will be necessary, as Peixeira is suspended.

CAFUNDÉU 3x3 SECRISTAN

Cafundéu - line-up: Murilo; Leonardo, Peixeira, William and Lemos; Werner, André Diniz (Mané 78'), Miguel Silva (Wanderley 60') and Paquetá; Anti Ilmari (Amate 84') and Rafael Nunes.
Coach: Ensio Varg.

Secristan - line-up: Carver; Fraser, Wachter, Wooliver and Orton; Tollisen (Schatzer 76'), MacMillan, Marino (Benware 45') and Coventry; Cardona and Bianchetti (Castagli 70').
Coach: Ryan Fullerton.

Goals:CAF: Rafael Nunes 33' , Paquetá 66' , Werner 71'.
SRZ: Cardona 6'/44' , Coventry 82'.

Candelaria And Marquez

06-02-2009, 14:09

The Albrecht Herald Online Global Edition>News>Latest
Foreign Office to seek ABM clarification amid Ceasing concerns
By Roy Greenwood

Foreign Secretary Tate Sayfritz is to hold emergency talks with the Sorthern Northlandish Ambassador to C&M, Donngal Ó Maoilbhreanainn, amid growing anxiety among the Northlandish population in the Candelarias towards the current status of An Blascaod Mór.

The tiny island is famed for having competed internationally in World Cup qualifying, the Olympic Games and elsewhere, and many Candelariasians – including those with no direct relationship to the island’s inhabitants nor even neighbouring Sorthern Northland itself – have developed a particular affection for the one hundred and forty-three natives. The island’s national football team also competed in the Candelarias at the turty-turd Cup of Harmony, with Candelariasians making up the substantial part of their team’s travelling support, among them residents of the Nr Allemali village of Alvorne which has long claimed a somewhat one-way twinning arrangement with the microstate. There is also one Candelariasian resident of the island, Saurin-born John Roberts, who settled there following the An Blascaod Mór versus Candelaria And Marquez match in the final game of World Cup 42 qualifying, primarily through having his passport eaten by a sheep.

Within the last twenty-four hours however, reports from Atlantian Oceania have suggested that the island community has ‘ceased’ – a common phenomenon that, while not automatically indicative of mass casualties, is never the less of grave concern to those with an interest in the island.

Worries rose this morning when C&M-based relatives of Roberts received a terrified email, send yesterday, with text to the tune of “ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod ohmygodohmygod!!!!” – and, though this is said to be in keeping with Roberts’ usual style of correspondence, the attached photographs appeared to indicate that An Blascaod Mór has become the latest part of the world to fall to the growing anatidae crisis.

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John Roberts’ final photograph, as sent to relatives in C&M

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An Blascaod Mór’s capital, The Village, post-swan? Experts are unsure as to the age and veracity of this image

Though the Candelariasian government is officially remaining noncommittal as to the possibility of swan involvement in the An Blascaod Mór situation, patrols against any birds looking to reverse the migration away from Rushmore have been stepped up, and security increased for the C&M Under-21 squad in Starblaydia and key Candelariasian interests in Sorthern Northland. Despite this, there remain clear indications that swans in several areas of the Candelarias – notably Green Island (below) – have no intention of departing under any kind of state pressure, and have even begun returning in small numbers for the first time since the Zapata incident two years ago.

http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w175/candelariaandmarquez/Swans-Attack-Zapata1.png
Swans seen returning to a snow-covered Green Island in the early hours of Friday

An An Blascaod Mór Disaster Relief Fund has already been established, but this afternoon TV1 have come under fire for refusing to carry a televised charity broadcast on behalf of the ABMDRF, on the basis that broadcasting an ‘inflammatorily anti-swan advertisement’ would severally damage the state broadcaster’s commitment to neutrality. Social commentator Tanya Robinson slammed the station’s decision on TTO’s Lunchtime News today, decrying their “lack of a moral compass” for “sacking Sarah Allen [daughter of former Conservative Party presidential candidate Norman Allen] as a star reporter, for the merest slip of the tongue when describing [C&M international footballer God’s Power] Adekunde as ‘that mosshead jungle bunny jiggabo nig-nog sooty sambo chap’, yet refusing to help the people of Great Blasket Island when they need it the most.” TV1’s public reputation has already been soured in recent weeks, when talkshow host Tony Wdowczyk was given only a six-week suspension for using the word ‘wee-wee’ on a live broadcast.

C&M under-21 head coach Jay Zabojnik meanwhile told thecamafa.cam that he was being kept abreast of the developing situation, but that he had no plans to rest striker Kenncoh MacCiochain, who (rather implausibly, but thankfully, in order to connect this article in some way to football) has close relations on the troubled island. Zabojnik also slammed members of the Newmanistanian squad in Starblaydia for ‘making light of an extremely serious situation’ in recent days. He added, “these are just young kids, so no-one should come down too heavily of them, but there’s a time and a place for humour and this certainly isn’t one of them”.

Elves Security Forces

07-02-2009, 19:31

Elven Public Broadcasting
Currently Airing ~ News of the Day

"... interesting development that, Vanaialna.

Moving on to our next story, the priests and priestesses are still befuddled about the sudden severing of our connection to the Goddess Elune. Despite initial thoughts that it was just a momentary occurance, the connection has not been restored now two weeks later. In an erie coincedence, small pockets of the population are starting to expierence a certain lethargacy, while the majority of the population are still the same, but without the natural magics flowing through them.

What might also be just another coincedence, the Godwell in Char Sara has had it's waters turn from a crystal clear blue, to a hazy green. There has always been rumors that the Godwell was Elune's source of power here in the material realm, but nothing has ever been proven despite the recent purification by the previous High Priestess."

"That is a very disturbing bit of news Tanmon. Well, onto something a little more cheerful, the mini Marauders arrived in Starblaydia in style, nabbing a one to nil win over the newest nation of the Kose area. It was a close affair as both sides were fighting for domination in the middle, but ultimately, the game began to slide in favor of our youngsters. That domination was cashed in on in the sixty-third minute when Elendil Amandil blasted a nicwe shot from sixteen yards out, that eluded the keeper's diving attempt to save the goal.

Up next for the mini Marauders is the team from Dancougar. Both teams sport exceptional senior teams, but at the youth level the Marauders have had the better of the teams, having captured two of the seven titles. A victory would be a massive boost to either teams' chances of progression, but a tad more to the Vanorians who still have The Han Empire and the Islanders to play, both of whom have had succes here in the youth level.

That is all Valanora, we wish you a good weekend. Health and happiness!

End broadcast

Jeruselem

08-02-2009, 02:17

Jeruselem Government News

Fox cull on the Ferris farm

The managers of the Ferris farm send in a team of hunters to remove some rogue foxes after a decimation of the duck population. Foxes are not native to Jeruselem and are not protected animals. They are not classed as domestic livestock either. The hunters who looked suspiciously like off-duty army personnel shot a number of foxes on the farm and moved to neighbouring farms to shoot other vermin species.

It is not known where the foxes came from as Jeruselem has no native foxes and they must have been imported. While suspicion has fallen on a certain player from Southern Northland who are paranoid about killer birds invading the country, nothing solid in evidence was found. However, the foxes shot were examined and found to be a common speces in Southern Northland. The foxes had a high level of alcohol in the blood, a trait common for foxes from Southern Northland. The hunters commented the foxes were rather easy to shoot as they ran funny and seemed drunk.

Ducks in Jeruselem are very desirable for their meat and due to the lack of water, supply is never enough. No Greenies protested the cull of the foxes as foxes eat baby ducks which doesn't go down well with the local Greenies.

Oksana Ferris, the daughter of the Ferris farm has no love for foxes
"They have no place on our farm. All baby animals get eaten and it's not good. I'm all for animal conservation but foxes aren't on the list here. They don't belong to Jeruselem as they aren't exactly natives anyway. The animals in Jeruselem don't have a big predator like foxes to contend with and are easy pickings. We breed the Green Pickled Saltwater Swamp Duck, a native of Jeruselem who has never faced predators like foxes."

Sorthern Northland

08-02-2009, 11:48

http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr245/SorthernNorthland/SNpaper.png

Foreign Secretary: “An Blascaod Mór situation concerning”

Speaking ahead of an emergency meeting with Candelariasian Foreign Secretary, Tate Sayfritz, Sorthern Northland's ambassador to the Candelarias, Donngal Ó Maoilbhreanainn and himself, the Sorthern Foreign Secrtary, Rórdán Mac Ádhaim described the An Blascaod Mór situation as “distressing and of utmost importance”.

According to World Assembly reports the independent microstate of one hundred and forty three citizens was said to have 'ceased' several days ago. The government of Sorthern Northland, who hold responsibility for the defence of the island nation have admitted failures in their role whilst claiming the WA reports to be false, with Mac Ádhaim claiming, “To say it has ceased is ridiculous. It's an island, therefore it's basically a huge lump of rock sticking out the sea. Huge lumps of rock sticking out the sea don't just vanish and 'cease' overnight. I assure you it's still there. However it is true that contact with the people of the island has been lost for several weeks, and that is why this meeting with the Right Honourable Foreign Secretary of Candalaria And Marquez, our ambassador to Candalaria And Marquez and myself has been called. It is of huge importance that we regain contact with the island. At the moment we don't know what's happened and with the current antidae situation it's imperative we find out.”

Sources believed to be from the Foreign and Overseas Dependencies say that contact with the island has been lost for nearly a month. Locals living on the Sorthern coast near to the island, who usually have daily contact with the island reportedly have lost all contact with the island for the last fortnight. The daily ferry service from Dún Chaoin on the Sorthern mainland to the island is thought to have not run for nearly three weeks due to rough seas. Dense sea fog is also said to have made the island impossible to see.

http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr245/SorthernNorthland/Untitled-1.png
An Blascaod Mór, as seen from Dún Chaoin yesterday.

The long period of bad weather however is not thought to be the cause of the loss of contact however, as Dún Chaoin native Katy O'Neill explains, “We often have periods like this in the winter where we go weeks on end with no ferry due to rough seas and what have you. But we usually still have contact with the islanders, one of them will sometimes brave the waters to cross to the mainland for supplies, and with mobile phones of course, we can contact them. But mobiles aren't working at the moment of course since those swans somehow disabled the local phone mast. We think they're using the island as a base to attack Sorthern Northland from. It's very worrying.”

The claims that an armada of swans may have taken over the island are backed further following the release of an email sent by a Candelariasian resident of An Blascaod Mór. John Roberts has lived on the island for several years, and was the first island resident to get the internet on the island. A facility which he used regularly to contact his family back in Candelaria And Marquez. Yesterday Candelariasian media released a photograph, believed to be one of a small set, showing a swan seemingly attacking someone, presumably Roberts. Some doubts have however been raised as to the location of the photo due to the background consisting of what looks like a body of water, and a paved footpath or road, features which are not found on the island. Local fisherman and ferryman Mick O'Gara while doubting that the photo was taken on An Blascoad Mór doesn't doubt that swans have taken the island saying “Oi picked up tha' Johno fella de other day while oi was out fishing around the island. 'e was floating in the sea, and told me that a swan ha' pushed 'im off a cliff. It sounded ridiculous but oi tell ye what, there were an unusual number of swans in de area, bloody loud feckers they were and 'e did seem to have wing inflicted wounds. He showed me some photos of swans on the island as well. Oi took into the 'ospital in An Daingean to get checked out, oi've no idea where he's got to know, he's notorious round these parts for getting lost.”

http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr245/SorthernNorthland/Untitled-1-2.png
An Daingean, the last known whereabouts of John Roberts

The growing concern at the status of the island has seen and international An Blascaod Mór Disaster Relief Fund with a charity appeal being aired on state television network SNTV. While Candelaria And Marquez's state broadcaster, TV1, came under fire for not airing the appeal, Sorthern state broadcaster, SNTV, came under fire for broadcasting it. Members of the Sorthern Northland Observers of Birds Society (SNOBS) have slammed SNTV for “lacking a moral compass” which led to their desire to broadcast an “inflammatory anti-swan advertisement”. SNOBS president Larry Johnson called the broadcast “an outrage” and called for “heads to roll” claiming that the 'Antidae invasion' was not an aggressive action by swans, geese and ducks, but merely a sign that Sorthern Northland was seen as an international example of a bird haven. A status which Johnson claimed Sorthern Northland had shown in the last few days it did not deserve. Larry Johnson said all this on live TV whilst holding a swan which appeared to be trying to poke his eyes out with his beak. Rather than an aggressive action this was just the swan 'showing affection' according to Johnson. Ironically the sage, which has been dubbed ABMDRF-gate may have done nothing but raise awareness for the Relief Fund, with a number of donors claiming that they would have never heard about the appeal had SNOBS not kicked up a fuss about it.

One such donor was Sorthern U21 footballer Anton Fry, currently taking part in the Di Bradini Cup in Starblaydia. Fry has been actively following what small amount of news he can get in Starblaydia about An Blascoad Mór due to his wife, Ríona Fry (née MacCiochain) being from the island. Although concerned about recent events, the winger is confident that the islanders are fine saying “They're a hardy lot. They live for weeks without contact and with sparse amounts of food for weeks on end every year. If it's really that bad on the island then I suspect they'll have retreated to one of the other islands, Inis Mhic Uileáin and Inis na Bró I imagine would both be suitable places to see out any swan attack. There's a colony of Manx Shearwaters on the island as well. If swans have invaded then the shearwaters won't be happy and they'll let the swans know, and the swans will have a tough time overcoming them. The shearwaters make quite a racket (http://www.rspb.org.uk/wildlife/birdguide/name/m/manxshearwater/index.asp) as well, and I'm not sure the swans will like it much.”

Starblaydia

08-02-2009, 12:39

http://www.starblaydestudios.co.uk/Images/SFA-Logo.gif
Matchday Three Scores

Group A
Lovisa 0-3 Fujisawan Territories
Starblaydia 2-2 Nethertopia

Group B
Krytenia 1-1 Sarzonia
The Macabees 1-2 Secristan

Group C
Sorthern Northland 3-1 Newmanistan
Peisandros 1-0 Taeshan

Group D
Koseli Cumhuriyetler 0-4 Candelaria And Marquez
Elves Security Forces 2-0 Dancougar

Dancougar

08-02-2009, 23:55

Dancougar News!!
TM Revolution makes constructive interference cool.

Marauders roll over Wings; team remains winless: If this is what Dancougar fans have to look forward to once the current generation has retired, it's going to be a painful transition.

The Wings were defeated 2-0 by Elves Security Forces to drop to no wins and three loses in their Di Bradini debut, their worst international showing since sending Rizzi College to represent them in the Turtle Cup. The team looked coherent in the midfield, but once again, they failed to make good on their chances and made a few crucial errors that determined the outcome.

Junichiro Daigo missed a golden opportunity to put the Wings up 1-0 in the 18th when he picked up an errant backpass and held off a late challenge from Lenwë Palantír to get off a shot. His aim was off, though, and it soared wide. Daigo managed to put one on target in the 32nd after taking a pass from Hiroshi Kaizuka and creating space inside the box, but his shot was low and weak and easily scooped up by goalkeeper Amras Táralóm.

By that point, the Wings were already behind, courtesy of a 27th minute strike by Arawen Kevaeredal. The youthful elves, who we'll no doubt get to know over the coming millennia as members of the Valanoran senior team, were playing with a quiet confidence and slowly built up their attacks to the point where Kevaeredal was able to sneak through for an open look. The elves are, after all, the home of the last two IUCC champions, further proving their prowess at this level.

The elves doubled the lead on the hour on a set piece. Cody Horrigan fouled Berônion Gwaeth 25 yards away from goal, and on the resulting free kick, Kevaeredal blasted a header into the top corner to make it 2-0.

"Our defense was really poor on the second goal," said coach Paul Spudy. "You absolutely can't give anyone a free header like that and expect to get away unscathed."

Spudy switched to a 4-3-3 by swapping out midfielder Kaizuka for forward Saburo Nishino, but the Wings were unable to create any real scoring threats. They had chances. Nishino put up a cross in the 73rd that Josef Rousch was able to direct on goal. In the 78th, Daigo once again had a shot inside the box but was late pulling the trigger, allowing a defender to deflect it wide.

Schlieffen overrun by robots again: The citizens of Schlieffen, the capital of the southwestern state of Helmut, awoke yesterday to find themselves once again under siege by robots.

But as it turned out, sometimes robots just want to have fun.

http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/hh106/newtypezaku/robotsoccer.jpg
Mazinger got busy.

Two full teams of robots suddenly appeared in the skies over Schlieffen and then began playing football on a massive plain five miles west of the city. Interested citizens gathered to watch and the military was called in to keep them safe. They stationed several of their own machines around the makeshift pitch so they could intercept any balls going into touch, preventing fans from getting crushed.

The combining super robot Dancougar was not seen, even though those present agreed that it would've been an appropriate referee.

Jeruselem

09-02-2009, 02:34

Jeruselem Government News

Theories abound over missing island of An Blascaod Mór

With the island of An Blascaod Mór gone missing, wild theories about why it is missing have spread around the world.

Some believe it was attacked by a giant killer swan from the heavens. This theory doesn't explain why the entire island is missing still as swans aren't known for destroying islands and sinking them into the sea even if they attack and kill everyone on the island. Unless this giant killer swan as the Pheonix or something.

Another theory was the island had inactive volcano dormant, and volcano decided to explode basically destroying the entire island. This has been discounted as this would have been detected earlier and time would have allowed the occupants of the island to be evacuated. We don't think the island was actively volcanic. It is possible an earthquake could have split the island in half, but volcanoes and earthquakes go hand in hand especially with islands.

Some think giant robots not unlike Dancougar (except they are nasty ones) used the island for some weapons testing and obliterated it. Possible but the weaponry would been needed to be rather substantial even for a Dancougar type robot unless they were playing football with nukes.

Some think the island was hit by a time-space vortex which basically sucked into another reality and hence it's not missing - it's somewhere else. Of course, if the vortex had been bigger it would have swallowed the neighbouring area but it didn't.

Some think the Goddess Meliki of Elven origin has returned and taken the island as her new home, and she's ready to launch an attack on Elune after turning the islanders into an army of evil doers. We can think of better places to take over for this type of intention.

Some think a large swan-shaped object fell out of the sky to hit the island and basically nuke off the face of the planet. There were no reports of falling stars on the day the island disappeared. Falling objects from the heavens tend to be round and not shaped like swans.

Biblical fans suggest the island suffered the same fate as Sodom and Gomorrah. But this makes no sense as Jerusalem has more sinners in one house than the entire island, and God isn't one to miss with weapon of mass destruction so badly. The poor occupants of the island were good and tough people living in harmony with God's creatures. We'd like to think the nice people in the island were not the sinners of Sodom and Gomorrah.

These are just all theories and current evidence says we don't know enough.

Sarzonia

09-02-2009, 02:41

The telephone's ring interrupted Brett Hancock on his way to the press room after Sarzonia played to a 1:1 draw against Krytenia.

"Brett Hancock."

"Yes, Dave?"

"No, I still don't know the name of that country we're supposed to play. Do you? Wait, you've never heard of them either?

"Then how are we supposed to play a football match against a country that doesn't exist?"

"Just get to the stadium and play? Gee that's helpful. Yes, I know. Thanks."

Hancock walked into the room still wearing that quizzical look on his face as he heard the sports information director announce that he would make an opening statement.

Oh right. This match.

"Well, I'm pleased to see we were able to bounce back from conceding the early goal against the Aces," Hancock began. "It shows the resiliency of this side to be able to come back from a disappointment in the beginning of the match to equalise in the 89th minute. I don't think I need any more gray hairs though."

After answering a few questions about the draw, a reporter raised his hand.

"Coach Hancock, can you tell me a little bit about your match against The Golden Throne?"

"Uh, I don't even know who they are, let alone anything about the way they play. I've never heard of that country before in my life."

"How can you not have heard of The Golden Throne?"

"Just what I said. Never heard of them, don't know the first thing about 'em."

"How are you going to play a match against a side you've never even heard of?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," Hancock said. "That's all the time I've got."

Daehanjeiguk

09-02-2009, 04:46

Wang: *snoring*

Hwang: Does he really snore like that?

Shin: You're worse, so stop complaining.

Shim: At least he's still in the locker with those outsiders.

Pizzaguy: We're not outsiders! I'm not at least! Let me out!

Candygram: I brought the candygram! That should count for something.

Shin: We're going to be in worse trouble if we let you out of there. Besides that, the Supervisor said it himself. No outsiders in; no outsiders out.

Shim: So no matter what you say, you're not getting out.

Pizzaguy: Fair enough, but in here with him? He's freaking me out.

Fishcakeguy: What do you mean freaking you out? He's pretty neat.

Pizzaguy: How so?

Fishcakeguy: He's the only guy I know who will let you draw a fake mustache on his face.

Candygramguy: And fake eyebrows.

Pizzaguy: What about a fake smile?

Fishcakeguy: Now that's just sick...
Candygramguy: Now that's just sick...

Shin: Anyway... back to the task at hand...

SUPER: What the %$#^ is going on in Atlantian Oceania? You said that you weren't responsible for those anatids invading the region; now they're saying that an island has disappeared then suddenly reappeared. Are you sure that you're not pressing any buttons?

Shim: Absolutely not.

Shin: Not since I pressed one at least, and you haven't heard a rumor about anything paranormal about that now.

SUPER: Well... something's going on, and I have a feeling that you people are responsible for it. If you are going to resort to lying to me, I'm going to have to start reviewing your contracts.

Shin: We're not lying. In fact, I'll press a button just a demonstrate.

*** Somewhere in the middle of Sorthern Northland ***

Goose1: honk!

Goose2: hiss!

Duck1: Quack!

Goose1: honk!

Swan: HONK!

Duck1: Quack!

Duck2: Alfac! *others gaze at Duck2* Alfac?

Goose2: hiss!

Duck2: Alfac!

Swan: HONK!

*all gaze at random Sortherner*

All: HONKhissquackhonkAlfac!

Sortherner: Ah!!! De ducks oar after meeee!!!

All: HONKhissquackhonkAlfac!

*** Back in Control Room ***

SUPER: Sooo... the ducks, swans, and geese have suddenly become sentient and are now plotting to overthrow Sorthern Northland?

Shin: Again, not so surprising. At least, not so surprising given the random hysteria that the Sortherners have towards the birds.

Shim: So not so unusual, but definitely not paranormal.

Shin: On the other hand... *Shin and Shim gaze at Hwang* if genius hits a button, who knows what might happen?

SUPER: This is getting freaky... and what the %$#^ are the outsiders doing to Wang?

Shim: He's sleeping.

SUPER: Carry on then.

Newmanistan

09-02-2009, 06:58

THE ROCKET REPORT

CARSON MAKES STAND

Starblaydia- Brian Carson displayed some uncharacteristic form following the Rockets defeat, 3-1, at the hands of Sorthern Northland. It was the first time that Newmanistan had ever lost in the Group Stage of the Di Bradini Cup. Ever. Sorthern Northland was the first team Newmanistan ever beat in a Di Bradini Cup, and sixteen years later, Sorthern Northland is the first nation ever to beat us in Cup's group stage. Chew on that stat for a minute. But this was not just a loss. Brian Carson unexpectedly fired long-time assistant Chris Merrill following the match, and invited Putnam Lake’s Tom Gratton to come to Starblaydia and serve as his new assistant. Gratton was one of two assistants (Merrill the other) of Carson’s during the recent World Cup 44 qualifying and Cup of Harmony. Carson also blasted both the domestic Newmanistanian media as well as other international media outlets for failure of focusing on the real meaning of the Di Bradini Cup. Carson has never been shy to let his feelings known, but this seemed a little out of character for him. Because of that, I (Matt Davisen) had to sit down with him for another interview.

MD: I’m here with Brian Carson, and make no mistake about it, he is not happy with the team’s 0-1-1 start, but the reason he is may surprise you. Good evening Brian.

BC: Hello Matt.

MD: Let’s get right to this. This is big news because Chris Merrill has been your assistant coach for sixteen years with the national side. Firing him after one game definitely is something the public is curious about.

BC: I’ve always gotten along with Chris Merrill, but his actions leading up to the Sorthern Northland match were completely unacceptable to me. He got us all bogged down with the side stories of the Di Bradini Cup. While he should be helping me prepare for the match, he’s working on a gimmick. Our lack of preparation was evident in the way that the Northerners dominated us in every facet of this match.

MD: Explain the gimmick, if you would.

BC: First, he wants us to toy around with their goalkeeper, which on the surface isn’t bad if you are playing mind games, but to have someone in a (expletive) swan suit run out on the field and attack him. That’s just not Newmanistan football.

MD: I see.

BC: Newmanistan football is about our athletes and about the game. Call it boring and non-varied if you want but we’re not here for sideshows, especially in the Di Bradini Cup. This is about the development of young players.

MD: And he got caught up in that?

BC: He got caught up in it to a large degree. Look, I’m not saying this deal with swans and Sorthern Northland is not something serious to that nation, and to Candelaria And Marquez because I am sure it is. But it has nothing to do with us, and he wanted us to be involved. That’s not the end of it, either.

MD: There’s more.

BC: Well, then he went to an extent of getting funding for a gimmick to throw out duck meat at the players. At the last minute I ordered all of this stuff not to happen, because again, this is not want the Di Bradini Cup is all about.

MD: You had some negative comments for international outlets too, what was that all about?

BC: I wasn’t trying to be negative, and it was directed at all medias, including our own. The Di Bradini Cup is about the development of young players. I feel like I am reading about Animal Kingdom sometimes. The Rocket Report is as much to blame too, in fact the Rocket Report is more to blame for getting involved in it.

MD: Well….

BC: It’s ok, you don’t have to defend yourself. The swan deal is a story, sure. But when I’m hearing reports that the kids who are out their busting their ass aren’t cutting it, or you are all bashing them because they are not doing as well as are other teams, this is where I draw the line.

MD: So you defend their 0-1-1 start.

BC: Damn right I do. They are kids and they are learning. You all want to put them on such a high pedestal because of what we have done in Starblaydia in the past. That is some of the most unfair expectations I have ever seen put on a team, especially since we don’t have a lot of returnees from the last team on the current one. I know how hard they are trying. They want to win as much as any group of kids I have ever coached.

MD: With the team….

BC: (interrupting) We’re about ten minutes into this interview, and have you asked one question about either of our games so far? Or are next one?

MD: I’m sorry, Brian, I’m just---

BC: I know it’s not you, you were handed the questions to ask by your producer. From this point on, the only questions I will answer have to do with the football team or our games. No sideshows.

MD: Alright.

BC: I’ll see you later.

MD: Ok, thanks Brian.

Jeruselem

09-02-2009, 08:14

Coach: What's wrong Pups?
Pups: Newmanistan lost today.
Coach: You like that Billy Prescott character?
Pups: Well, yeah. You think he's wrong type Mum?

Coach: Seems have a good head on a good body.
Pups: Apparently, this is the first they lost in the group stage.
Coach: Jeruselem don't have a great record in the group stage of this Purple cup.
Pups: And they lost to the Drunks.

Coach: We can't afford to lose either.
Pups: Everyone is expecting us to make the next round this time.
Coach: Really? People don't expect much from an under 21 Jeruselem these days. It's not like old days.
Pups: I'm not happy with not making the next round. I'm here to win.

Coach: All we can do is our best. I mean most teams think we aren't real threat.
Pups: I'm not going stand for that. I'm here to raise our standing.
Coach: We have two more games. I think it's must win with the drunks doing well.
Pups: I want revenge against that P team.

Coach: No need to get personal. I know why you feel that way though.
Pups: I'm here to take home a cup Mum. I'm leader and there's no going backwards. It's time the kids showed they are pushovers.
Coach: Like our last few teams ...
Pups: Failure is not an option, it's the last one.

Coach: It's good to see it's no holiday here for you.
Pups: I don't want to be a failure. If you're gonna doing things, do it properly.
Coach: You take your job too seriously.
Pups: If you make me leader, then I'll lead. I'm responsible for what goes on in the game. The best team needs a good leader.

Coach: Sounding like a warrior there.
Pups: There's a time for play, and time for war. I say do both properly, and not just fudge around.
Coach: You're not always going to win though.
Pups: I'll win the war, I won't win all the battles but there's a war to be won.

Coach: You think Billy likes you?
Pups: I think so. He wants to be like his Dad like I want be like you. We have ambitions. One can't drift through life without aiming for something.
Coach: True, ultimately it's having kids and making sure the kids turn out right.
Pups: You did a good job Mum. I too want to be great Mum like Dazza. I want my kids to be smart and strong too.

Sarzonia

09-02-2009, 16:51

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Stars offer assistant manager position to former Rockets assistant

Sarzonia's Under 21 national team manager Brett Hancock announced in a press conference Monday that he has offered an assistant manager position to former Newmanistan assistant coach Chris Merrill following Rockets coach Brian Carson's decision to fire Merrill.

"We are prepared to offer Mr. Merrill the position of 'manager in waiting' for the Under 21 national side," Hancock said. "We believe he brings experience with managing a youth programme and that would be beneficial for the Junior Stars.

Hancock's previous managing experience came with the senior national team, both at the World Cup as an assistant coach and in AOCAF tournament play as the head coach. Hancock said he was "still learning how to coach Under 21s.

"It's a big adjustment for me," he said. "Managing a team of players under age 20 is vastly different from managing players who've been through the rigours of a professional schedule or who have played internationally."

Hancock said current assistant Matt Matthews would stay on as a second assistant if Merrill joins the Junior Stars.

"Obviously, it would probably be for the best if Merrill were to decide to retain Matt as an assistant if he accepts this job and later becomes the Under 21 national team manager," Hancock said. "However, that would be his decision, not mine."

Sarzonia currently have a record of 0-2-0 with two points in their return to Under 21 competition. Newmanistan's record is 0-1-1 with one point.

The Gupta Dynasty

09-02-2009, 17:20

Group A
Lovisa 0-1 Nethertopia
Fujisawan Territories 0-1 Yafor 2

Starblaydia 2-0 Lovisa
Nethertopia 1-2 Yafor 2

Lovisa 0-3 Fujisawan Territories
Starblaydia 2-2 Nethertopia

P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Yafor 2 2 2 0 0 3 1 2 6
Starblaydia 2 1 1 0 4 2 2 4*
Nethertopia 3 1 1 1 4 4 0 4*
Fujisawan Territories 2 1 0 1 3 1 2 3
Lovisa 3 0 0 3 0 6 -6 0

* Starblaydia ahead of Nethertopia on goal differential

Group B
Krytenia 0-2 Secristan
Sarzonia 1-1 Cafundéu

The Macabees 0-1 Krytenia
Secristan 3-3 Cafundéu

Krytenia 1-1 Sarzonia
The Macabees 1-2 Secristan

P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Secristan 3 2 1 0 7 4 3 7
Krytenia 3 1 1 1 2 3 -1 4
Cafundéu 2 0 2 0 4 4 0 2*
Sarzonia 2 0 2 0 2 2 0 2*
The Macabees 2 0 0 2 1 3 -2 0

*Cafundéu ahead of Sarzonia on goals scored

Group C
Sorthern Northland 3-0 Taeshan
Newmanistan 1-1 Jeruselem

Peisandros 1-2 Sorthern Northland
Taeshan 0-3 Jeruselem

Sorthern Northland 3-1 Newmanistan
Peisandros 1-0 Taeshan

P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Sorthern Northland 3 3 0 0 8 2 6 9
Jeruselem 2 1 1 0 4 1 3 4
Peisandros 2 1 0 1 2 2 0 3
Newmanistan 2 0 1 1 2 4 -2 1
Taeshan 3 0 0 3 0 7 -7 0

Group D
Koseli Cumhuriyetler 1-0 Dancougar
Candelaria And Marquez 2-2 Daehanjeiguk

Elves Security Forces 1-0 Koseli Cumhuriyetler
Dancougar 1-3 Daehanjeiguk

Koseli Cumhuriyetler 0-4 Candelaria And Marquez
Elves Security Forces 2-0 Dancougar

P W D L GF GA GD Pts
Elves Security Forces 2 2 0 0 3 0 3 6
Candelaria and Marquez 2 1 1 0 6 2 4 4*
Daehanjeiguk 2 1 1 0 5 3 2 4*
Koseli Cumhuriyetler 3 1 0 2 1 5 -4 3
Dancougar 3 0 0 3 1 6 -5 0

* Candelaria and Marquez ahead of Daehanjeiguk on goal differential

Candelaria And Marquez

09-02-2009, 18:31

The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport>Football>DBC8
Zabojnik’s not-so-youngsters smash Young Turks
By Mack Hession

There exists a general consensus that this was precisely the sort of result that the Small Blues – or ‘we’, depending on how much this particular crop of under-21s has captured the public imagination – should expect to pick up in the Di Bradini Cup, as one of the competition’s perennial favourites.

Running one’s eyes over the list of the twenty nations represented in Starblaydia this month should raise questions of that status for, even after the Big Blues elevation to fifteenth in the world amidst the post-World Cup comedown, there are still eight nations at the (sort of) 29th Under-21 World Cup whose senior side out-rank our own. Besides putting pay to rhubarb about the supposed tinpottery of this tournament, it also shows just how far and for how long the likes of C&M and Newmanistan – and not to mention the reigning champions Secristan – have been batting comfortably above their average.

But we all know why, don’t we? At least when it comes to ‘our’ record of five semi-finals in six cups, anyway. It’s because we cheat.

The DBC is a competition for developing footballers, after all, not fully-grown pros. There are sixteen, fifteen, even fourteen year-olds at this tournament, yet once again the CAMAFA – under new administration but seemingly learning nothing from lessons of the past – have seen fit to sanction a squad full of the Gasperritts and Williamses and Bradleys who plainly aren’t going to do anything with their careers, and certainly not at senior international level. In what way does this alleged feeder team actually serve to help the side for whom victories actually matter, when countless teenage players of real promise are left at home? Look at the offensive midfield positions – yes, Jason Saunderson and Will Sussex are players of genuine talent, particularly in the case of the latter. But the point is that their under-21 careers should have been and gone by now – they should be back home, stopping Green Island from slipping out of top four contention, and watching the next generation impress, or not, in Starblaydia instead. This tournament is made for Robin Smith (KT Hotspur), for Jerome Cotton (Arrigo Portuguese), for Luis Pavoni (El din Marbles), for Salvador González (Catedral), for Harvey Lewis (MN Smith), for Tomer Lagorio (Blue-White Udenbergen), for Robbie Chiume (Turks’ Club), for Lisa Walker at the Indies… Why can every other national FA see that but us? Why must Jordan Hawker be the only sop to the idea that this competition is about more than simply adding another lump of silverware to the cabinet down on Bower Street? What makes us so special?

Okay, rant over. Great performance, Koseli Republics (which is much easier to remember than Cumhuriyetler) thoroughly smashed, ghosts of Ice Hockey World Cup exit put to rest (apparently), marker laid down for Eesseff in all-important final group match, everyone’s happy.

It wasn’t especially pretty, one has to admit, and probably the only thing the Small Blues learnt from the experience was how to lump it to the big men and allowing the nimbler and more technically gifted players behind them a chance to feed off the scraps. Playing from the back, even against a thoroughly mediocre – but, more importantly, extremely young – Kosenic side, never appeared to be on the agenda. Zabojnik didn’t have a great deal of choice in that, of course. Jono Plunkett and Kire Barnett, the centre-halves, have plenty going for them – tall and quick, they both have a final positional sense for the age and can pull off a saving tackle like nobody’s business – but ability on the ball isn’t exactly among either Hoxton native’s better attributes. Decent players though they are, both would clearly be enhanced playing alongside a partner with a little more interest in taking the ball forward, and weren’t helped in Hallad by the tentative nature of Matthew Logan and Oliver Wilkinson’s play, both full-backs left somewhat nervy after a pair of difficult experiences against Daehanjeiguk.

For all their flaws however, the Candelariasian kids were able to simply brush aside their naïve young opponents in a manner that was barely sporting but certainly boded well enough for the forthcoming encounter with the thus-far disappointing Dancougans. Danny Adams – a senior international of sorts, back slumming it with the kids – hit the wood-work twice inside the first ten minutes after latching on to long-balls from the back and sweeping past the terrified, huddling masses of the Kosenic back four. Adams, supposedly a target for the Cafundelense league if Turkish can somehow be persuaded to let go of him after a single term, had an utter field day with Mehmet Karadeniz Mehmet (never too sure what way round those names should be, so we’ll err on the side of caution and go for both), the fifteen year-old right-back, though it was C&M’s own Baby of the Squad who ultimately opened the scoring, Servet Kenan Servet clearing after another Adams run but finding only Hawker, whose shot took a sizable deflection off Colin Benjamin Ak Benjamin Colin to spin past the goalkeeper.

A few more minutes down, it was 2-0 and all too easy – Adams getting his goal and C&M putting their feet up. You couldn’t get a more predictable game than this, in truth and, as Hakan Umut Hakan’s wee boys poured forward in search of a glimmer of light in the second-half, the Small Blues finished them off – John Pepper flicking on for the consistently dangerous captain Sussex, who hopped over Ergun Uzun Ergen’s challenge, reached the by-line, centred for Kenncoh MacCiochain, and 3-0 it was, the Sorbridge striker putting his off-field worries aside to finish smartly and revealing an ‘AN BLASCAOD MÓR’ vest, for which he was duly booked.

Darren “Robbo” Robinson, one of more than a handful of Albrecht natives in the squad after DBC7’s capital-less debacle, continued the torment of the number seven shortly after replacing Sussex, but it was another long ball that provided number four – Wilkinson picking out another sub, Newmanistan-based Cameron Jones, who headed on for the onrushing Robinson.

The chants of ‘We Want Five!’ and ‘Eee-zee!” soon followed, and those Albrecht Turkish and Turks’ Club supporters with any grasp of their founder’s native tongue joined in with the cheerfully morose songs from the Kosenic end, and a thoroughly nice time was had by all. Probably doesn’t actually mean anything, in the greater scheme of things, unless beating up a small posse of fifteen year-olds is your idea of a jolly Sunday afternoon; but you can’t argue with four-nil, can you? Sadly.

Still fun, though.

Di Bradini 8, Group D, Round 3
@ Hallad City Stadium, Hallad City

Koseli Cumhuriyetler Under-21s 0

Candelaria And Marquez Under-21s 4
Hawker 23
Adams 31
MacCiochain 60
Robinson 73

Related News ~ Northlandish stun Newmanistanians Though C&M were the biggest winners from matchday three, it was Chicão Trombada’s Northlanders who left the greatest impression, by sending Newmanistan to their first ever group stage defeat at the DBC. The Rockets and Jeruselem could now be set to fight it out for second place in Group C, with Taeshan stumbling to defeat against the rising power of Peisandros.

Groups C and D certainly represent the Half of Death when it comes to the draw, with C&M certain to face a hugely challenging quarter-final match even if they manage to squeeze past Daehanjeiguk or the Eesseff. Group A looks wide open, with Lovisa’s torrid record at this level continuing with a three-nil drubbing by the Fujisawan Territories, a returning face in the beautiful game, while the Vultures hopes of a second straight final appearance were dealt a blow, with the largely CMSC-based squad picking up just a point from matches against the Yaforites and Starblaydis.

Nobody cares about Group B, really.

Related News ~ Groups slam Ferris The Candelariasian NSPCA has reacted angrily to reports of a mass fox cull on land owned by Jeruselem Under-21 football coach Scarlet Ferris, decrying the ‘terrible example set by a respected figure in the international game’ and calling upon the CAMAFA to issue a formal complaint.

thecamafa.cam duly published a statement to the effect of “Eh?”, but the row has since spread elsewhere with several Northlandish pressure groups in the Candelarias condemning the ‘blatant xenophobia’ shown in both the incident itself and subsequent media reaction in Jeruselem. A Candelariasian Northlandish Society spokesman, Jérôme Grondin, told TTO’s Lunchtime News that it was “perfectly clear that the ḥok ha-shvūt does not extend to migrant Northlandish foxes looking to settle in Jeruselem” and called upon the C&M government to “put all available pressure on Jeruselem to show the same courtesy to their Northlandish population as the Candelarias has to its.” The Federation of Sortherners in the Candelarias also criticized the “clear and crass stereotyping of an ethnic community”

Other groups have since gone further, accusing Ferris and Jeruselem as a whole of showing significant bias towards ducks, with a Daily News editorial today linking the Jeruselem Green Pickled Saltwater Swamp Duck with maintaining associations with extremist swan groups worldwide.

http://i176.photobucket.com/albums/w175/candelariaandmarquez/GreenDuck.png
Artist’s impression of the offending Jeruselem Green Pickled Saltwater Swamp Duck

Related News ~ ‘Dead’ Roberts arrested in Beningrad John Roberts, a Candelariasian national thought deceased in the An Blascaod Mór disaster, was arrested in the early hours of this morning and held without bail in the Sorthern capital, following a sting operation involving local police and the Nr Saurin Constabulary.

Only days after locals in Roberts’ home town on the outskirts of Saurin had held a candlelit vigil in the hope of his safe return; a series of images surfaced online, purporting to show Roberts and an as-yet unidentified woman viewing a riverside property in Beningrad. A sketchy picture of Roberts’ recent movements has since emerged, with friends and neighbours of his family back in the Candelarias admitting their recent doubts over the reliability of his regular emails from “An Blascaod Mór”, principally among them being the self-evident lack of donkeys appearing in his missives and photographs; while An Daingean locals knowing him as John O’Roberts have since claimed that the man with a clear Candelarian accent was first seen wading ashore in Northland with a canoe under one arm.

Criminology experts now believe that Roberts left An Blascaod Mór some months or even years ago, possibly after a spat with locals, but the reasons for his continuing duplicity as to his subsequent whereabouts remain as unclear as the reasons for his recent arrest.

An explanation, which further locals have hinted may involve a bottlenose dolphin and a small tub of vaseline, may become clearer now that the microstate itself appears to be steadily recovering from whatever incident had led to its previous problems. World Assembly reports from the AO indicate that the national government, such as it was, is now back up and running, with the only cosmetic change being the absence of the state flag from the Village Pole – a notable loss, according to Albrecht-based vexillologist Graham Znamierowski, who described the island’s bi-colour flag as having been “a fine flag, though, of course, not nearly as fine as that of its larger neighbour which, as we know, is a very fine flag indeed.”

The opinion of the Village Pole himself on the matter is as yet still uncertain.

Newmanistan

10-02-2009, 09:52

(Prior to a team meeting, Billy Prescott seeks out teammate Meghan Vilardi)

Prescott: Hey Meghan, I want to ask you something.

Vilardi: What is it?

Prescott: Your sisters play in Jeruselem. How did they work that out?

Vilardi: I don’t know I wasn’t really part of the conversations. Why?

Prescott: It’s… it’s, Pups.

Vilardi: Pups?

Prescott: Yeah Oksana Ferris that’s her nickname, I like her a lot. She sent me a note after our loss to Sorthern Northland trying to cheer me up and we talked on the phone after. She’s really nice. So I was thinking about maybe playing in Jeruselem and that maybe your sisters could help me out.

Vilardi: Right, Ferris. You two seem like a good match, but your father expects you to play in Cafundeu, remember. Just like him.

Prescott: I don’t want to play in Cafundeu. I want to be my own player, not do everything the way my dad did it.

Vilardi: Well have you talked to him about it?

Prescott: He’s busy. His team has been in the TQCC. They lost though. We haven’t had a chance to talk a whole lot. And I didn’t want to disappoint him while he was out there.

Vilardi: Well it is your decision. You’re 16, you’re an adult. (OOC: Again, the age of majority in Newmanistan is 16 not 18).

Prescott: I’ve never felt this kind of connection with a girl before. It’s like I admire her for so much. We play the game the same way and have so much in common!

Vilardi: Well yeah, you’ve told all of us that about 100 times.

Prescott: I’m sorry.

Vilardi: It’s ok. I will call my sisters and see what they say. Nothing wrong with liking a girl from another team. Weren’t there two people who had a thing in the last Di Bradini Cup?

Prescott: Yeah the guy from Secristan, Fraser. I guess if he can so can I. Right?

Vilardi: I think your dad would understand you not wanting to play in Cafundeu. I think he would be happy to see you going with a respectable young lady like Oksana. She has great football genes too, I think you two could be a good couple. Give it a shot. But make sure you really have a true connection with her before you make such a major decision.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(Coach Carson and new assistant Tom Gratton)

Carson: Welcome to Starblaydia, Tom.

Gratton: Thank you for the honor.

Carson: What you think, can we turn this around?

Gratton: We have it in us. We need help, but our teams are known for finishing strong in the World Cup after slow starts in qualifying. Nevermind the fact that those finishes have always come up short.

Carson: I know we can win these next two games. That’s not what worries me as much. Can we gain the ground on Jeruselem? They still have to play the Northerners.

Gratton: Well I think we both know that we can only control what we do. Take care of Taeshan and Peisandros, one of them being a rout would be nice for our point differential, and then hoping the Northerns beat the Princesses. Unfortunately, the Northerners will probably have things wrapped up by MD5 and not play with the same intensity they played us with.

Carson: That’s about it. At least your mind is in the right place.

Gratton: I can’t believe Merrill got that offer from Sarzonia.

Carson: I can’t believe it either, and for it to happen so quickly. That’s going to be a tough transition on the fly.

Gratton: Exactly, even more so if he’s too busy planning gimmicks.

Carson: Deep down I wish he’d have the head job there. Maybe in time. He is a good guy, just got distracted.

Gratton: I won’t my lose my focus.

Carson: I know. J-Mac always spoke highly of you.

Secristan

10-02-2009, 12:37

MILLIONAIRES READY FOR SARZONIA

Sarzonia and Secristan have begun to become familiar opponents. It started in the World Lacrosse Championships, where the two where the only good teams in a pretty weak group. They exchanged victories over one another in the group stage, each winning it on the road before the team then known as the “Slash” ended up winning the title. It was their first ever championship since their return to the world scene and they did it in Secristan. They appear to be about to win the 3rd International Basketball Championships, and even there the Millionaires and Stars would meet. Sarzonia swept the best-of-three series as Secristan just didn’t have the necessary answers in crunch time of that tournament. It is a tournament that the Millionaires have won a title in themselves. Both nations are playing fairly well in the World Bowl as Sarzonia presently stands at 6-3 while the Millionaires are 8-1. They have not met head to head, but who knows, maybe they will.

Then we have the 8th Di Bradini Cup from Starblaydia. The Millionaires are aware that even though they are building up some good history with Sarzonia, the Stars have always seemed to get the better of the results. At 2-1-0, Secristan should be considered the favorite in the match against the 0-2-0 Stars. It is the team’s final group stage match, and they will need to get a victory in order to officially clinch, but a draw would probably work out even though it wouldn’t be official after this game. Secristan leads the group that according to one source, “no one cares about.” That’s ok. No one paid much attention to Secristan in the last Di Bradini Cup either, they just kept winning games until there was no games left to win.

Sorthern Northland

10-02-2009, 15:03

Snewswire.sn> Di Bradini/antidae crises/ABM disaster latest news

Chicão: I am the greatest, man.

Sorthern Northland and Newmanistan are two nations that have become somewhat familiar with each in under 21 football. When Newmanistan made it's début at the fourth Di Bradini Cup, their first opponents were the Sorthern U21 team. Newmanistan won that match. A couple of weeks later the two teams met again in the semi-final, Newmanistan again came out victorious. It was to become a pattern of football, especially at under 21 level. If Newmanistan played Sorthern Northland it would be the Newmanistanis that win.

That however changed last night in the Jhanna City Recreational Ground in Starblaydia's capital as Sorthern Northland U21's for the first time beat their Newmanistani counterparts, and in doing do became the first team to defeat Newmanistan in a group stage game of a Di Bradini Cup. The victory itself was a fairly comfortable one for Sorthern Northland as they dominated the game from the first whistle, with Marek Krofcky in particular impressing. Whilst commentators and pundits found themselves full of praise for the Sorthern players who had finally managed to beat Newmanistan, manager Chicão Trombada was in no doubt as to the reason behind the victory.

Speaking at the post-match press conference he told an assembled rabble of hacks, “It is all down to me, man. Sorthern Northland, they have poor record against Newmanistan, man. I come along and in my first game against them, man, I win, man. Is clearly not a coincidence, man. We won because I am the manager, man. Because the players know, man, that I am right, man. The referee knows, man, that I will not allow him to make mistakes, man. Whilst ducks and swans and geese are attacking us, man, we still win. People dressed as swans try and attack us, man, but I shoot them, man and they know we are the best, man. I am the best, man. Sorthern Northland has won every game so far, man. Because of me, man. Sorthern Northland will win this tournament, man. Because of me, man. No duck or swan will stop us, man. It is my destiny, man. I am the greatest, man.”

Critics however have claimed that, the team are winning games despite, rather than because of Chicão Trombada. Speaking anonymously to SNTV, a prominent Sorthern manager who manages abroad said, “I always wandered why Chicão was appointed. He has an unstable history and to be frank appears to know nothing about football. Not that I'm an expert of anything, but I'd have thought that to be a football manager you'd need to know about about football. It's just common sense really isn't it? For me Chicão is only a distraction, all he seems to do is brandish his gun about and try shooting at things. How the players can prepare for games with that going on I don't know. But with the way they're playing and bearing in mind the Chicão distraction, I think it shows how good our latest crop of youngsters is. To be playing this well and beating teams like Newmanistan with seemingly little guidance from the manager is just phenomenal. I suppose it helps that we can also seem to be able to claim all the decent Candelaria born goalscorers as well.”

With just one group match left to play Sorthern Northland look to be on their way to the knock outs. A bye day on match day four means that with results elsewhere going their way, the Sorthern team could even qualify before they play their final group match, against Taeshan, in a few days time.

Not all that related news: Candelariasian An Blascoad Mór resident arrested.

Just hours after reportedly being rescued from the sea surrounding in An Blascaod Mór following a swan attack, John Roberts, a Candelariasian citizen reportedly residing on An Blascaod Mór was been arrested in Beningrad when local and international police stormed a riverside house warming party. It is thought that Roberts settled on the island after a feral sheep ate his passport whilst he was watching a World Cup Qualifier between An Blascaod Mór and Canderlaria And Marquez on the nearby island of Beiginis. Mr Roberts is thought to have become an active member of the island community with 'King' Muris O'Sullivan speaking for the first time in the aftermath of the An Blascaod Mór crises, “that he was lovely chap.” It is understood that he was not universally liked with Islander, Eoghan Ó Branagáin declaring, “What a bloody bastard the man was. He ate one of me fecking sheep. Told me he was trying to get his passport back. Total liar if ye ask me.” Following an altercation with Ó Branagáin, Roberts is thought to have spent only the summer months on the island, and spending the winter in Sorthern Northland, and in An Daingean in particular. It is thought however that he fell out of favour with the townsfolk of An Daingean following what has been described as “a despicable violation of Fingi's rights.” Fingi is understood to be a dolphin often found in and around the town's harbour.

Police have so far refused to announce on what charges Roberts has been arrested. A number of sources have however alleged that he was involved in a life insurance fraud claim involving an antidae invasion of a country in north-western Atlantian Oceania. It is also understood that a camera containing some rather lovely pictures of the An Blascoad Mór was seized by police along with a green and yellow flag at the scene of the arrest. The flag is understood to have been returned to it's owner.

http://i488.photobucket.com/albums/rr245/SorthernNorthland/451BlasketDonkeyPicnic.jpg
This photo showing John Roberts (unless it's someone else) is thought to have been among those found on the seized camera

Jeruselem

11-02-2009, 01:31

OOC - For Newmanistan

Vilardi sisters - Tel Aviv
Brian Rafferty - Jerusalem United
Bobby Foley - Beersheba United
Corey Hennis - Christian Palestine

IC

To: Brian Prescott of Newmanistan U21 team
From: Dazza Dallas, President of the Jeruselem FA

Hello, it's Dazza Dallas here. I heard you're interested in a young lady in the current U21 team! Unfortunately, Oksana Ferris can't follow you around since she's helping the parents on the Ferris farm. Since we have five fantastic Newmanistanis in Jeruselem playing football, I can help you find a club here. There's plenty of interesting and varying clubs to choose from including the Tel Aviv Sharks which I own.

If you want to come to Jeruselem, feel welcome. If you want to, bring your Dad here too. We'll show you what Jeruselem football is all about. Oksana plays for the Tel Aviv Sharks and she's a fantastic girl. Sure, she's not a Kate or Marie Dallas but then a Dallas is a Dallas not Ferris is not a Dallas. I'm sure your Dad has plans for you but we can do all we can to convince him Jeruselem is the place to work.

I know you can't have everything you want. But I can give you options. Oksana would like to travel but she says she loves her farm unless you have a farm there she can live on. Oh, she likes ducks.

XXX
Bikey

Daehanjeiguk

11-02-2009, 02:35

Shim: It's awfully boring now.

Shin: These ducks just won't leave, and no one is talking about football!

Hwang: I am.

Shim: That's encouraging...

Hwang: I just posted up a new blog.

Shim: Blog?

Hwang: Yep. "Little tykes beat the %$#^ out of Dancougar" - it's already gotten like five million hits already. You know? It's already so popular already!

Shin: Stop saying 'already' already! And just exactly how did you post your blog?

Hwang: On the Internet, duh.

Shim: Using what connection?

Hwang: The base connection, duh...

Shin: *smacks Hwang* You idiot! This is a secure line! If random n00bs get a hold of this line, they'll hack into it, and who knows what sort of mayhem they can cause! You %$#^! Destroy the website.

Shim: I've got a better idea. *presses a button*

*** somewhere ***

Oldman1: Knight f4 takes pawn e6.

Oldman2: Oy! You've sunk my battleship!

Oldman1: You're lying! Colonel Mustard did it in the study with Ms. Peacock, using a candlestick!

Oldman2: Two hotels and a house on Park Avenue don't cost $3500!

Oldman1: Come on. Quit stalling! It's your move!

Oldman2: I'm not beaten yet. I still have armies in the Ukraine.

Oldman1: Ha! You might as well give up now then, because I haven't lost a game of parcheesi in 56 years!

*** Control Room ***

Hwang: What?

Shim: I surprise myself...

Shin: Unfortunately, that didn't work because Hwang's blog is still up.

Wang: At least the Pizzaguy, Fishcakeguy and Candygramguy are all gone now...

Shin: Wait! How'd you get out of the locker?

Wang: What locker?

Shin: That one over there?

Wang: I don't have a clue...

Shin: Well, get back in it! *stuffs Wang in the locker*

Wang: Hey! What's all this about?

Shim: You called me FAT!

Wang: I never called you fat. I said that you were an obsessive perfectionist who wants everyone around you to tell the obvious lie.

Shim: And that's why you're in there now.

Shin: We still need to get rid of Hwang's blog.

Hwang: Why? I've a 5 billion hits and counting! It's great!

Shin: Actually, what are you writing on there?

Hwang: "The highlights of Polynesian cuisine"?

Shin: What happened to the little tykes and stuff?

Hwang: Tykes? What stuff?

Shin: Football?

Hwang: Bah, who cares about that?

Shin: *trembling* Shim...

Shim: Don't worry, I'm already on it! *presses button*

*** somewhere else ***

Scientist1: Oh no! Gojira is attacking us!

Scientist2: That's not Gojira! That's Mothra!

Scientist3: You're both crazy! It's Rodan!

Scientist4: You're all crazy! All of the monsters are attacking us!

Scientist1: Somehow they have all escaped from Monsterland? This is impossible! Especially under our watch!

Kilaak1: Haha. Hahahahaha. You have failed to protect humankind from the threat of the monsters, and now you shall surrender to the might of the great Kilaak Empire!

Scientists: Never!

*** Control Room ***

Shim: This just went from awkward to freaky.

Shin: I have a feeling that the Supervisor is going to notice this...

Hwang: Hey! My movie! I wonder how that got in there. *fetches his VHS from the panel*

Shin: No wonder...

Shim: And Hwang's blog is off-line.

Hwang: Blog? Bah, who does blogs anyway?

Wang: At least the Pizzaguy, Fishcakeguy and Candygramguy are all gone now...

Shin: How did you get out again?

Wang: Again?

Shin: Yes, again! *shuts Wang in the locker again*

Wang: Hey, what was that for?

Shim: You called me FAT!

Wang: I never called you fat. I said that you were an obsessive perfectionist who wants everyone around you to tell the obvious lie.

Shim: You see? You never learn. That's why you're in there now.

*knock at the door*

Shin & Shim: Who the %$#^ is that?

*voice at the door: "Chinese take-out!"*

Shin: What the heck is "Chinese"?

Hwang: Oh boy! Food!!! *goes to the door*

Shin: Not this again...

Hwang: Food! *sings* Food, food, food, food, food, food, food!

Shin: I'm guessing you ordered out again?

Hwang: Yep. I can't go on without food. But someone needs to fix the phone.

Shim: Wait. The phone's still broken? Then how did you order that food?

Hwang: Well, the only way I can order food now.

Shin: Internet?

Hwang: ...ummm, no. But that's actually another way I can order food. I used the telegraph though.

Shim: I'm officially tearing up anything that can be used as a communication device. Including your mouth.

Shin: We could just get a gag order on Hwang.

Shim: Speaking of which... the delivery man is still out there! *Shin and Shim run out to catch the delivery guy*

Hwang: Women... if they wanted to eat, all they had to do was ask me. I wonder the Han are playing now... *flips on the TV*

Dancougar

11-02-2009, 03:38

Little tykes beat the %$#^ out of Dancougar

I'm sick of Dancougar. You know those guys. The ones who use everything as an excuse to talk about their giant robots? "Hurrr, hurrr, hurrr, look at me, I can reference a fighting combining robot from 1974 and name all of the original voice actors and their astrological signs." It's nonsense, and it's why seeing them go winless in the Di Bradini is so satisfying right now. But that's not enough. No, Dancougar needs to pay.

So we sent some little kids to beat it up.

When you get right down to it, what do you think about when you think of Dancougar? Ooo, they like to play sports, do they? The come at you with their footballs and their American footballs. Oh, and their Horrible Hand Towels... yeeeeah, that's not lame at all. The Di Bradini team they've got right now are a bunch of college kids who talk about playing for love of the game and getting experience. Uh huh. You know they're probably trashing their hotel rooms right now and wondering why there couldn't have been an Oxen Cup instead.

No, if Dancougar was a guy, he'd be some pudgey, lazy guy living in a basement apartment surrounded by Japanese cartoon posters and imported action figures. You send a couple of small children his way, and after they beat him up, they play with the action figures and tear all the limbs out and break the transformation mechanism, forever ruining their collector's value.

http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/hh106/newtypezaku/kids.jpg
"Hey kids, how do you like my cosplay?
It's from a mov- OH GOD MY KNEECAPS."

As it stands, the sooner we wise up to Dancougar's act, the better. We'll show him, no, you goons aren't good at football at all. We just didn't want to get anywhere near your strikers because you've been drooling over vernier engine lineart instead of showering. These little kids are an inspiration to us all. I'm glad I thought of it.

Consequently, some giant monsters are attacking various cities, and I would be just as happy to see one (or fifteen) trash Dancougar. Yuki City, Lakeport, Port Royal... my god, who was in charge of naming these places? I'm sure they'd use their robots to come up with some half-baked plan to, say, destroy all monsters. But unless their weapons are half biological, purple, and powered by angst and dead mothers, I doubt they'll have any effect against monsters.

In case anyone's worried about the little kids from earlier, they're protected from the monsters by their own giant monster turtle, because he's their friend.

http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/hh106/newtypezaku/gamera.gif
The Russian judge is intimidated.

Let me know what you think of little children and monsters beating up Dancougar, and what you'd do if you had the chance!

View/Leave Comments

Daehanjeiguk

13-02-2009, 23:59

Shim: We've got a serious problem now...

Shin: *eating Hwang's food* Which is?

Shim: One, you're eating that disgusting greasy food...

Shin: It's tastes good!

Shim: That's the MSG talking. Anyway, it seems that something is going on that needs some correcting. It seems that Hwang's blog did not disappear, and it's in fact authored by some other weird freak now. And more importantly, what's written is rather bleak. A bunch of monsters from Hwang's movie have appeared around Dancougar and are now moving away from the cities that they were attacking...

Shin: Which were?

Shim: I'm not sure, but they were attacking cities, and not in Dancougar. Geez, this time-warp continuum is killing my sense of geography!

Shin: Focus! Where are the monsters heading now?!?

Shim: Starblaydia.

Shin: *gasps* Where the young Han are playing in that tournament?!?

Hwang: NO!!!

Shim: It's not that bad. The monsters haven't reached Starblaydia yet.

Hwang: *confused* Wait... are we talking about the same thing?

Shim: ... I don't know and I don't want to know. Well, that's only half of the problem. Those robots that were playing football, never really left Dancougar. Instead, they transformed into a bunch of little tykes - as in the likeness of that "I hate Dancougarr" blog - and started attacking the cities, when a mutant turtle starting going about Dancougar, committing some wild acts of vandalism.

Shin: Why a turtle?

Shim: I don't know. Maybe it was going through a rather troublesome adolescence and needed some guidance. Anyway, the turtle and the kids played with each other, causing some unsettling damages in Dancougar. I think though that the turtle and the kids are going to go to Starblaydia though.

Shin: What's wrong with Starblaydia? The robots, the monsters all have something to pick with Starblaydia?

Hwang: I think I may know.

Shim: How would you know?

Hwang: There is an elf in Starblaydia.

Shin: Of course, there are elves in Starblaydia. Why does that matter?

Hwang: The elf commands them all.

Shim: That makes just about as much sense as Wang wiping his ass with chamois.

Wang: Hey, I love my donkey.

Shim: I'm sure. You spend more time with that animal than you do with me!

Wang: That's because my ass doesn't complain about me!

Shin: Anyway... so what's the connection with this elf and the monsters and robots?

Hwang: Well, there's an elf in Starblaydia, and he commands the monsters, the robots, the ducks, the geese, and the...

Shin: Whoa, the ducks and geese too? Just who is this character?

Hwang: He's that chap who wrote the blog.

Shin: *looks at screen with "Little Tykes"* That guy?

Hwang: Yep. He commands them all. And he's making his strike upon Starblaydia.

Shin: Why?

Hwang: Well, he's upset that the Starblaydi folk have made alliances with the dwarves, and he really hates the dwarves, the nasty double-crossing sycophants...

Shim: That still makes about as much sense as...

Wang: Would you cut it out? Besides, I don't think you'd like being lathered with a piece of leather.

Shim: *perks an eye* On the other hand, trying wouldn't be so bad.

Wang: *nervous* Oookay...

Shim: Come on! Wipe me. *Hwang and Shin shudder* It's a good way to get closer, don't you agree?

Wang: *shakes his hands as he rubs on Shim with a chamois*

Hwang: So... *stares at Shim* the elf... is going to ... wipe... the... Starblaydia with a... a...

Shin: *slaps Hwang* Don't you get any ideas!

Hwang: I'm not! *secretly stares at Shim* So... the elf is going to... a... attack Starblaydia with the... things...

Shin: WANG! STOP WIPING SHIM!

Wang: Okay. *stops in an instant*

Shim: Oh, that felt good. We should do that again sometime.

Wang: Sure... *leaves with donkey*

Shin: Get back to the story, Hwang!

Hwang: Um, sure. That elf is going to wipe off Starblaydia.

Shin: We get that! What about the ducks and the geese?

Hwang: The birds were just there for cover. No one suspects a flock of geese and ducks. Later tonight, the birds are going to strike at the radar stations and the defense sites, so as to leave the country totally defenseless against the robots and the monsters.

Shin: But why now?

Hwang: Well, the elf said he had a deadline to meet...

Shin: Then how is he controlling all of these things? That takes some planning and complex coordination on multiple levels.

Hwang: I don't know! I can only say that the attack plan is to make Starblaydia pay for its acquiescence to the dwarves. The cold winter in Rushmore was the perfect cover for the mass migration of the anatids, so they could move to Atlantian Oceania without arousing too much suspicion. They then attacked Dancougar first, because they knew that the Dancougar robots would be the only things that could stop them. They attacked those other cities, just to draw attention away from Starblaydia. And they attacked Sorthern Northland because... well, they really hate Sorthern Northland. Just something about them. Top two list of things that elves love to hate are dwarves and Sorthern Northland.

Shim: Okay, so this elf is going to try to take over Starblaydia?

Hwang: Not really. Just to make Starblaydia more compliant in the needless persecution of the dwarves. And the Sortherners, if possible.

Shim: Now... *slaps Hwang on the back side of the head* why didn't you tell us about this in the first place?

Hwang: Because it's only happened because you guys kept hitting the buttons. In essence, switching our alternative realities helped create this catastrophe. If I told you that your button-pressing craze was in fact hurting the reality in which we existed, you'd... do bad things to me...

Shin: We'll do more than just bad things once we're through with this mess. For now, we've got to stop it!

Shim: I think it might be too late to try stopping it...

*everyone glances at screen*

Hwang: Cool! BSOD!

Wang: *running in with just pants on* WHERE?!?

Shim: What the %$#^ are you doing?

Wang: I'm wiping my ass. What else would I be doing?

Shim: I'm going to get rid of that donkey! *runs out of the room*

Wang: What's wrong with the screen on the machine?

Shin: BSOD? Didn't you come running in here for that?

Wang: BSOD? Bitch-Slap Of Death?

Hwang: *whispers to Shin* Wang isn't exactly the most up-to-date with his computer skills.

Shin: *whispers to Hwang* Ya figured?

Hwang: *whispers to Shin* Just letting you know.

Wang: Wait. So the computer is broken? How will we fix the problems of the world then?

Shin: That's the real question we're trying to answer at the moment, because in a little bit, the %$#^ is getting ready to fly.

Hwang: Yay! I like flying %$#^!

Shin: Not that %$#^...

Candelaria And Marquez

14-02-2009, 17:16

A bronzed figure emerges from the crackling air. In his right hand, he carries a mighty sword. In his left, a small parsnip. Around his waste, he wears a pelt of swan’s heads. He flexes his muscles, and strides forth into battle.

Er.

So anyway, with the current crisis in Starblaydia an’ all, this particular nation’s national consciousness has been askunteered to take over scorination. I know, I know. There, there.

From an IC perspective, none of this has happened. The robots might’ve done, though.

I’ll be doing the MD4 cut-off as soon as I’ve set stuff up, with MD5/QFs/SF and Final to follow once a day, since we’re falling behind somewhat, oh my paws and whiskers, etcetera.

As you were.

Starblaydia

14-02-2009, 18:41

OOC: Desperately trying to RP my way out of computer-related tragedy. Shoot OOC, worked IC

In a dark and secluded office, deep in the basement of one of Tabeck's many military buildings, it was fairly strange to see men and women in uniforms designed for treking through jungles, patrolling urban environments and getting their feet wet during amphibious landings. That, however, was all part of the job in the Starblaydi military, as the tools for the any particular task didn't have to look too presenatble to those they were designed to destroy. They just had to destroy them well. 'If you can see it, you can hit it; if you can hit it, you can kill it' went the phrase, but in this office they dealt with things that could not be seen, directly at least.

Here was an environment in which programming skills and speed of fingers over keyboards mattered a just a little bit more to their commanders than boot-polishing, weapon-firing and jungle-trekking. Extremely relaxed, in military terms, was this department, within which the script-kiddies played around with how to disable enemy computer systems. They were the front line of electronic warfare, but only got paid slightly more than their peers who generally worked at fast food restaurants. This work, however, was more rewarding. 'The ultimate spit in the enemy burger', they called it, but the reason they worked here, as opposed to the local Bazaburger, was simple - they got to play with secret stuff.

"How are you fellas this morning?" Came the question, from the Colonel who came along every so often to administer this particular gang of script-kiddies. Tall and thinned-out of late, he peered out with confidence over ever-present rimless circular spectacles, with the salty fuzz of a few days of growth on his unshaven face.

"Still defending the nation on five credits a day, Colonel Niik!" The first young one said. He might have been on Han descent, which was a national stereotype and a half for him to be a whizz with hacking.

"Ours is not to reason why," Colonel Pavat Niik (http://i292.photobucket.com/albums/mm1/Starblayde/nswiki/ColPNiik.jpg) replied. He walked over to the bank of screens upon which hundreds upon thousands of lines of code were being investigated. "How's our recipe coming?"

"Brilliantly," the programmer, a corporal, replied. "It's ready to go now. This baby hides in-"

"Don't tell me," the officer cut his junior officer off. "Hit me with it, then let me investigate, then if you're that good, then you can tell me what you've done."

Colonel Pavat Niik sat at his computer, flexed his fingers, and logged on. The kids under his command had christened him 'Kernel Panic', qhich had quickly stuck, and his identity immediately changed from Colonel P. Niik to K3rn3l p4n1c. These internet kids were weird, he thought, not for the first time. His computer, and the two hooked up to it, were today assigned as being virtually in the nation of Nedalia, a place that no-longer existed and meant that any hacking games they played could not be investigated by anyone from OSCA, the Online Secure Computer Agency, Starblaydia's internet watchdog. Even if they only pretended to play in the .co.sb domainspace, the rules meant they could be shut down, so only ex-nation spaces were administratively 'played' in.

Had they been doctors, or similar, the equivalent process would have been for one of them to infect a patient with a genetically modfied virus, while the other performed the tests. If the patient died, they had the makings of a weapon. If the patient lived, their treatments were adequate. Today K3rn3l p4n1c was the defender, against a program that he'd initially written.

"Okay," he said, "logging on. System running normally. Connecting to the net. Online."

"Infected!" one of his team cried with glee.

"Are you kidding me?" Niik asked. "I haven't done anything yet."

Suddenly his computer whirred and clicked as the hard-drive began to read itself from front to back. Niik raised his eyebrows and looked down at the machine, with the activity light in a permanently-on state. He looked across at his team, who high-fived each other, as their plan came to fruition.

"Check your files," one urged.

"Oh no," Niik replied with a shake of his head, "I'm not going to be led down the path that you want me to be on."

"The path is done, Colonel," a more level-headed member of his team said. "Wipeout already in effect. Go, on , check them."

Niik sighed in resignation and clicked the icon through to 'his' documents folder. Each machine would be built from scratch before each test and laid out with a series of 'typical' document folders that the average person would have on their machine. Niik's machine had none. Not one file or folder that a user would have created.

"There's... nothing here," he managed. "Did you guys install the fake files properly this morning?"

"Yup," they acknowledged.

"And you're telling me that by just connecting to the internet, that I've had all my files wiped?"

"Yup," they agreed, "Da-da-da-daaaaaaa, Superworm!"

"Gods above," Niik said, "show me that again."

"Sure," the cocky Han one said, "just let us put the Starblaydia/Yafor match on, it'll be on TV in a bit."

Sarzonia

14-02-2009, 19:00

Event organisers weren't telling the Sarzonian Under 21 national football side anything. Days had turned into weeks between Sarzonia's last scheduled match day and the fixture against a nation Sarzonia hadn't even heard of.

Finally, after three days, Sarzonia manager Brett Hancock lost patience. He telephoned the team's jet operators and requested, nay demanded the team return to Woodstock to train. Eating Starblaydi food and staying in Starblaydi hotels wasn't doing any of the Junior Stars any good.

"Those cheeky bums don't know what they're doing," he muttered out loud. He was aware that a suit wearing Starblaydi walking nearby grimaced at the comment but he didn't care. He shook his head, getting more and more impatient as the day the match was scheduled came and went. There was no sign of any referees, no opposing side, no crowd, nothing.

"I'm going to ask Dave [Wilson, Incorporated Football Federation Chairman] to file a complaint," Hancock told his assistant coaches. "This is absolutely ridiculous these bloody wankers haven't told us anything."

"Brett," assistant manager Matt Matthews said, trying to calm him down. "I just received a phone call from event organisers. We're supposed to play our next fixture tomorrow."

"We've heard that the past three weeks," Hancock fumed.

"No, this is official. There was some major computer worm that wiped out records and whatnot."

"And why did you hear this and not me?"

"They tried to get in touch with you when you were on the phone with Dave."

"Fuck. Guess we're not heading back to Woodstock after all."

"I'd recommend we go back to the training grounds for another day."

"All right," Hancock said. "But if this doesn't result in a match, I'm going to have somebody's head. Preferrably Francisco Ibanez's on a fucking silver platter."

"Francisco Ibanez hasn't played since the last time we were active in international football," Matthews said. "Get with the times."

Hancock glared at Matthews for a moment. Then he remembered his assistant was right. He drew a heavy sigh and frowned.

[OOC: Again, the views expressed are solely those of my characters, not mine. I fully understand deadlines and I'm definitely sympathetic to kernel panics. Perhaps getting a flash drive to back up your data might be an order for the future?]

Starblaydia

14-02-2009, 19:11

[OOC: Again, the views expressed are solely those of my characters, not mine. I fully understand deadlines and I'm definitely sympathetic to kernel panics. Perhaps getting a flash drive to back up your data might be an order for the future?]

OOC: As S.M. Stirling said: "There is a technical, literary term for those who mistake the opinions and beliefs of characters in a novel for those of the author. The term is 'idiot.'"

So no worries about that RP :)

Elves Security Forces

14-02-2009, 19:28

Valanora Times
Apathy and Treachery

Well, the past four weeks here in Starblaydia have been awfully dull, what with the organizers losing track of some very important paperwork on their computers. Silly people were using a supposably superior computer system to the NS Swodniw, which 95% of the entire world uses. Alas, it has not been a dull time in our beloved Valanora as the apathy of the citizens being cutoff from their goddess is starting to take over the vast majority of the population. It is still unclear what there are those elves who are not being affected by the termination in the link, but it has allowed them to study and try to solve this problem. However, some of these have individuals have turned fanatical in their attempts to reestablishing the connection, as they have been signs of human and animal sacrifices. I am not an overly religious elf myself, but having read all three volumes of The Books of Elune, never in a single page of those texts does it mention Elune demanding sacrifice. It seems that the cutoff from their magic and their deity has caused a twisting of their sanity, and one can only hope that if and when Elune grants us her presence again, they will revert back to their normal mental state.

The younglings here in Starblaydia also remain unaffected, but then that might be due to not having had been soo dependent upon the magic of the Godwell, and the connection with Elune. They have been diciplined in the haitus between the matches, doing nothing but training and reviewing film of their oppisition. In a sort of way, football has become their religion in the absence of Elune, though that may be putting too much stress on a sport. Regardless, the squad is preparing as best as they can in the present conditions and have not let the time between matches to make them edgy. They know that the winner of the upcoming match has one foot in the door to progression, and each side has won a championship at this level. Yes, none other than the Han Empire await the mini Marauders in the upcoming fixture, and then the dangerous Small Blues of Candelaria And Marquez in the final matchday. A win against either side would most likely have the Vanorians into the Quarterfinals, and it is a general concensus that the team would rather have that victory come with a game to spare.

On the good points about this haitus, it has allowed for two members of the side to get signed by professional clubs. While there is a good amount of those who would be concerned about letting young ones such as these kids venture forth into foriegn lands, one only has to look at the success of Ories to see that they are mature enough. While the aging difference is a legitmate concern, they must remember that these kids have been raised to be self-sufficient, and if nothing else, they are elves afterall. By our very nature we are a more perfect being than the humans and other species that we play against in these sporting competitions. While we might be lost now without Elune to be our moral counterweight for the flowing power of our race, we are still the most perfect creation of the Unspoken Ones. I suspect that whatever is troubling our Goddess will unwravel itself in time, and we will be remade again as we were. Until that time comes, we must be steadfast in our traditions and not let the thirst for power consume us, we must be more like these younglings here in Starblaydia, focused and ready to embrace whatever path is made open to us.

Article by Ron Santapa

Candelaria And Marquez

14-02-2009, 20:51

Ghah... Roight, after some minor but none the less entertaining computer jiggery-pokery of me own... here's yer scores...

Matchday Four Scores

Group A

Fujisawan Territories 1 Nethertopia 0
Yafor II 0 Starblaydia 1

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Starblaydia 3 2 1 0 5 2 3 7
2 Fujisawan Territories 3 2 0 1 4 1 3 6
3 Yafor 2 3 2 0 1 3 2 1 6
4 Nethertopia 4 1 1 2 4 5 -1 4 X
5 Lovisa 3 0 0 3 0 6 -6 0 X

Group B

Sarzonia 1 Secristan 0
Cafundéu 1 The Macabees 0

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Secristan 4 2 1 1 7 5 2 7
2 Cafundéu 3 1 2 0 5 4 1 5
3 Sarzonia 3 1 2 0 3 2 1 5
4 Krytenia 3 1 1 1 2 3 -1 4
5 The Macabees 3 0 0 3 1 4 -3 0 X

Group C

Newmanistan 4 Taeshan 0
Jeruselem 1 Peisandros 1

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Sorthern Northland 3 3 0 0 8 2 6 9 Q
2 Jeruselem 3 1 2 0 5 2 3 5
3 Newmanistan 3 1 1 1 6 4 2 4
4 Peisandros 3 1 1 1 3 3 0 4
5 Taeshan 4 0 0 4 0 11 -11 0 X

Group D

Candelaria And Marquez 1 Dancougar 1*
Daehanjeiguk 2 Valanora 0

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Daehanjeiguk 3 2 1 0 7 3 4 7
2 Valanora 3 2 0 1 3 2 1 6
3 Candelaria And Marquez 3 1 2 0 7 3 4 5
4 Koseli Cumhuriyetler 3 1 0 2 1 5 -4 3 X
5 Dancougar 4 0 1 3 2 7 -5 1 X

*Scorinated by me, Starblaydia-style, 'cos I'm in a hurry. Not like I cheated a 1-1 draw though, is it...?

Peisandros

14-02-2009, 21:57

Long break between games sees teams struggle

A close affair between Peisandros and Jeruselem has lead to a one all draw. The teams were obviously not match fit, considering the long break they experienced between games.

The Sandrians now sit fourth in group C, with one win, one draw and one loss. They are only one point behind second place Jureselem though, so on matchday 5 there is a lot to play for.

Sarzonia

14-02-2009, 23:08

Finally.

That was the word that dominated the mind of Sarzonia Under 21 national team manager Brett Hancock. Whether that came as a result of Sarzonia's first victory of the eighth Di Bradini Cup after two draws or as the result of a full two weeks between match days remained to be seen.

All Hancock could say as he and assistant coaches Chris Merrill and Matt Matthews rounded the bend toward the team's dressing room was "finally."

"What do you mean, Brett?" Matthews asked. "Relieved we finally played a match or that we finally got a result?"

Hancock just shot Matthews a look.

"Yes."

Forward Tony Chester got the Stars on the board with a 28th minute tally as he skied over Millionaires defender Trevor Orton and slammed a Elise Raven cross into the back of the net and past a stunned Brian Carver.

From there, the Stars defence took over. The Stars limited Secristan to two shots on goal and six overall. Sarzonia (1-2-0) fired five shots on goal and 17 overall. The Stars also dominated possession, holding the ball for 56 minutes to Secristan's 44. When the final whistle sounded, the Stars walked off the pitch with a small sense of satisfaction. They'd taken three points in the standings and kept pace with Cafundéu for the second and final spot in the knockouts.

But for Hancock, the biggest relief was finally getting a chance to play. In four days, they'd play a team from a country they'd never heard of. However, that no longer mattered to these Junior Stars.

The game's the thing, Shakespeare once said. Or might have if he'd been a footie manager instead of a playwright.

The Gupta Dynasty

15-02-2009, 18:46

* Now talking in #swfansonline
* Topic is 'Hi, this is the official channel for fans of the Silver Wolves! Enjoy yourself! | I WANT PIE | http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/YAF45.png <-- lol new wc jerseys | Nazis not allowed'
* Set by Chessey on Sat Feb 14 16:41:48
* Chanserv has set mode +v Danilo984
<+DamienRulez> Hey sup
<+Danilo984> nm you?
<+DamienRulez> watching the special onth gk
<+DamienRulez> *on the
<+Danilo984> yah they're saying that gothmog will be goalie
<+Danilo984> for the rest of the di brad
* Chessey has set topic 'Hi, this is the official channel for fans of the Silver Wolves! Enjoy yourself! | I WANT PIE | http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c58/Krytenia/YAF45.png <-- lol new wc jerseys | Nazis not allowed | wtf balrog gk'
<+Nestor49> It's okay; they're really big
<+DamienRulez> ya but thers like no pint
<+DamienRulez> *there's, point
<+DamienRulez> wyh does my typing suck so much
<@Chessey> lol, nice typo
<+DamienRulez> thats not nice
<+Nestor49> I think it might be a good move, though. Look - they can block goals and shit.
<+DeathToElves> Might be a good battle tactic
<@Chessey> lol
<+Danilo984> i wonder if he can block shots with his whip
<+Nestor49> I'm guessing he might be able to; after all, who's going to stop him?
* IndigarRider has joined #swfansonline
* Chanserv has set mode +o IndigarRider
<@IndigarRider> Hey, just heard the news about the new goalkeeper
<@IndigarRider> I ran a ton of simulations and it seems like this will increase our GD, since he can kick farther
<+DeathToElves> How's the job going?
<@IndigarRider> pretty good; never run numbers professionally before
<+1093trombones> I'm sure they pay you for it :P
<@Grammar> Whatever happened to seventy-six trombones? :P
<@ScorinationMaster> They didn't surrender enough :P
<@Chessey> lol
<+Nestor49> So the simulations say that this is a good thing?
<@ScorinationMaster> That's what my thinking scorinator says
<+1093trombones> *thinks :P
<+Fortified> hehe
<+1093trombones> go away, nazi
* Chessey has kicked Fortified from #swfansonline (no Nazis allowed)
* Fortified has join #swfansonline
* Chanserv has set mode +v Fortified
<Weast> pwned
<+Fortified> You guys notice that the entire Bostopian national team is the same age, all from one high-school?
<+1093trombones> what do you expect? They're Bostopian
<Weast> yeah; they're nazis, after all
<@IndigarRider> <+Nestor49> So the simulations say that this is a good thing? <--- Approximately, yeah
<@Grammar> Well, a balrog is pretty big and can block stuff well
<@IndigarRider> Yeah, I'm guessing that's the reason
* BalrogsSuck has joined #swfansonline
* Chanserv has set more +v BalrogsSuck
<+BalrogsSuck> wtf!?!?! a balrog as gk?!?!??!
<+DeathToElves> yeah, it's Gothmog
<+Danilo984> he's the big one in charge
<+BalrogsSuck> what is damien thinking? you can't control balrogs! they're just for emergencies, like those elves!
<+1093trombones> elves aren't emergencies, they're just irritating
<+DamienRulez> I think he's just pikcing the best option
<+DamienRulez> h's a good amanger
<+1093trombones> Typistry fail!
<@ScorinationMaster> A manger? Where Jesus Christ was born? :P
* Riegan|Master has joined #swfansonline
* Chanserv has set mode +v Riegan|Master
<+DamienRulez> RIEGRIEG
<+Riegan|Master> DAMIDAMI
* DamienRulez is now known as Damigan
* Riegan|Master is now known as Riemien
<Weast> RAEIRAEI
<1093trombones> ugh...mancrush
* Damigan CRUSHES! 103trombones
* Riemien SMASHES! 1093trombones into a wall
<+1093trombones> * Damigan CRUSHES! 103trombones <-- typing fail
<@Grammar> Maybe he just wanted to leave 990 trombones around :P
* Fortified has quite IRC (Quit: Jimmy did two, broth!)
<+1093trombones> ugh...math jokes, Lisa
<@IndigarRider> I guess now there are -103 trombones, now :P
<+Riemien> hehe
<+Danilo984> haha
<+BalrogsSuck> but still this is a really bad move
<+Nestor49> I don't really think so; after all, the only problem is Candelarisian backlash
* Chessey has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<+Riemien> how does one even spell that?
<+1093trombones> according to Dami, "Cadenlrasin"
<+Danilo984> i think there are many ways of spelling it
<+Nestor49> The problem is still the same - after all, look at what happened with the elves during WC44
<+DeathToElves> stupid elves
<@ScorinationMaster> Deeteeeee is just jealous :P
<+Danilo984> have to go
<@Grammar> bye
<+Riemien> bye
* Disconnected

Elves Security Forces

15-02-2009, 20:04

Valanora Times
@#$%

You know, I am really start to dislike the Han Empire. First they take away our beautiful record of being undefeated in Qualifying for five straight World Cups, now they make it where we have to beat or draw the Islanders to progress. They remind me of the SLANI federation from a few years ago, always just keeping us on the fringes of greatness with unexpected victories. They are a blight upon this and every competition that they enter with their clear insanity. Indeed, they seem to be one of the banes of our existance and their defeat of the mini-Marauders is just another proof of this. Despite the encouraging news of two more players being tagged for foreign lands following the tournament, the side was completely disjoineted from the get go, clearly distracted by the crazy actions of their Han counterparts. I mean, who comes out onto the pitch "The wheels on the bus go round and round" while skipping? It's stuff out of elementary gym matches where they don't even keep the score!

Anyways, the Han scored early to completely throw off the entire gameplan of Cartain, and this would lead the midfield to completely break down. Passes that would have never gotten through the midfield were just gliding through the feet of the players and straight to their targets. With the breakdown of the midfield, it put alot of trouble on the backline who conceded a second goal on the thirty-second. The side almost had an immediate reply, but Amandil's long range shot went banging off the crossbar and then cleared to safety.

With two goals to the good, the Han were able to dictate the pace of the game and allowed the Marauders to come at them, break up the passes, and clear away. It was not the beautiful game at its' very best, but it was enough to provide them with the three points they need to clinch their spot in the next round. Which means that this final match, Valanora against their heated rivals in Candelaria And Marquez, will decide which of the former champions will get a shot at taking another crown. Based on form, you have to heavily favor the Islanders, as well as no one knows how the side will bounce back from this first set of adversity. It's not how a team does when not facing adversity, it's how they respond to it that shows the character of a squad. It's time to see the character of this side, and in the most difficult of conditions. If they come through this the better, we may yet be seeing another golden generation of Vanorian footballers, or perhaps just another good but not great set of players.

Article by Daymon Aliqui

Candelaria And Marquez

15-02-2009, 21:25

Matchday Five Scores

Group A

Yafor II 1 Lovisa 0
Starblaydia 2 Fujisawan Territories 1

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Starblaydia 4 3 1 0 7 3 4 10 Q
2 Yafor 2 4 3 0 1 4 2 2 9 Q
3 Fujisawan Territories 4 2 0 2 5 3 2 6
4 Nethertopia 4 1 1 2 4 5 -1 4
5 Lovisa 4 0 0 4 0 7 -7 0

Group B

Cafundéu 1 Krytenia 0
The Macabees 1 Sarzonia 2

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Cafundéu 4 2 2 0 6 4 2 8 Q
2 Sarzonia 4 2 2 0 5 3 2 8 Q
3 Secristan 4 2 1 1 7 5 2 7
4 Krytenia 4 1 1 2 2 4 -2 4
5 The Macabees 4 0 0 4 2 6 -4 0

Group C

Jeruselem 2 Sorthern Northland 1
Peisandros 0 Newmanistan 3

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Sorthern Northland 4 3 0 1 9 4 5 9 Q
2 Jeruselem 4 2 2 0 7 3 4 8 Q
3 Newmanistan 4 2 1 1 9 4 5 7
4 Peisandros 4 1 1 2 3 6 -3 4
5 Taeshan 4 0 0 4 0 11 -11 0

Group D

Daehanjeiguk 1 Koseli Cumhuriyetler 1
Valanora 1 Candelaria And Marquez 1

Pos Team P W D L GF GA GD Pts
1 Daehanjeiguk 4 2 2 0 8 4 4 8 Q
2 Valanora 4 2 1 1 4 3 1 7 Q
3 Candelaria And Marquez 4 1 3 0 8 4 4 6
4 Koseli Cumhuriyetler 4 1 1 2 2 6 -4 4
5 Dancougar 4 0 1 3 2 7 -5 1

QF1: Starblaydia v Sarzonia
QF2: Cafundéu v Yafor II
QF3: Sorthern Northland v Valanora
QF4: Daehanjeiguk v Jeruselem

SF1: QF1 v QF2
SF2: QF3 v QF4

Sarzonia

15-02-2009, 22:52

As stoppage time began, the Sarzonian Under 21 national team was staring elimination in the face. An early goal was nullified for a reason the Cassdaiguan referee didn't explain clearly. An own goal gave a nation the Junior Stars had never heard of a 1:0 lead. Sarzonia finally answered with a goal that was nearly denied with a handball.

Now the referee signaled he was giving three minutes of stoppage time with the Junior Stars and the Golden Throne level at 1. Manager Brett Hancock breathed a sigh as he looked forlornly at his players bench. He'd already used his three substitutes in an effort to generate offence. Unless he wanted to pull a leaflet out of a hockey coach's book and remove his goalkeeper for an attacker, he'd have to live with what he had on the pitch.

Suddenly, a Golden Throne defender made an ill advised cross and Junior Stars midfielder George Morrison trapped the ball with his chest. He then sent a one-time through ball to forward Jody Nichols, who seemed to expect the pass.

He deked to his right, normally his strongest side, then used his left boot to chip the ball. It slowly arched into the air and just above the outstretched glove of the Golden Throne goalkeeper, who could only look helplessly as the ball settled into the net. Nichols and the rest of the Sarzonian starting 11 exulted. Hancock leaped to his feet. The Junior Stars scored with two minutes, 40 seconds expired in stoppage time, while many of the Golden Throne defenders stood stunned. Only their captain realised time was running out. He raced to grab the ball and tried to launch it toward the centre circle. Before the referee could set the ball, he looked at his watch and blew the whistle to signify full time.

In their first appearance since the days of the Under 21 World Cup, the Junior Stars advanced past the groups stage and would face host nation Starblaydia, victims of a plague of wild ducks threatening to peck players to death. The nation was also victims of a massive computer worm that decimated the country's computer networks. Perhaps they'd also be victims of a Junior Stars side that suddenly recaptured the essence of what it meant to don a Sarzonia kit.

For the Stars, it didn't matter. For Hancock, his team's emergence from the shadows of isolation, both deliberate and otherwise were vindication enough.

For new Stars manager in waiting Chris Merrill, he felt another sense of vindication. After Newmanistan manager Brian Carson fired him as assistant manager of the Rockets, he and his new team would be in the quarterfinals of the eighth Di Bradini Cup whilst the Rockets would be on the next plane ride home.

"We did it!" came the gleeful cheers in the Sarzonian locker room. "We did it!"

As usual for Stars managers, the players would get one night to celebrate. Then it was back to work the next day.

Jeruselem

16-02-2009, 00:12

To: Billy Prescott
From: Oksana "Pups" Ferris

I'm sorry Jeruselem took the remaining spot for the quarterfinals. By rights, Jeruselem should have lost to the drunks but we beat them. As Captain and leader of the team, it was my job to lead the team to victory. I know Newmanistan did well to win it's last two games but I guess it was all too late. If we had drawn then your team should have made the quarterfinals.

I guess that's football. SN had the top spot and the other one was up for grabs. I did my patriotic duty and did the job. If we had lost or drawn, I would have been happy to support Newmanistan on it's quest to win this cup. But you know we are here to win a cup and we must our best for our nations.

I know you have to go home now. Maybe you can hang around in Starblaydia. I hope you can make your team's World Cup team! After this, I sure I'll be in Jeruselem's next team. Well, OK my mother is the Assistant Coach so it's bit rigged.

SN seem obsessed by killer birds. Well, when it comes to killer birds - there's no better than Pups. I might not have a beak and flap around, but little women like me aren't just for show or looks. Anyway, you know who to call if you want to talk. When you go home, I know there's plenty of hot Newmanistani women around but hopefully I can be the one. Bad luck to your team but but I'm sure you will impress the selectors. I want Billy at the World Cup.

We play those weird Han next. I don't what to expect but you know I'm going be giving more than 100% effort. Jeruselem have not won a u21 cup for a quite a while, best being quarterfinals in 1 and 2 for the cups in Purple Menace land. I don't want be a failure like the past 5 teams.

XXX
Pups

Daehanjeiguk

16-02-2009, 00:27

SUPER: What the %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ is going on? I come back from vacation and my office is littered with junk! Are you ladies taking care of that %$#^ machine like I asked you to? Or should I hire some transgender genophobic twits?

Shim: Everything's fine! In fact, the Han just beat the Vanorian kids 2-0!

Hwang: But they drew level with those Turks 1-1!

Shin: At least we're still on top of Group D and we'll be facing Jeruselem in the Quarterfinal...

Hwang: Against whom we've had not so much good history.

SUPER: I'm not talking about %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ %$#^ football!

Hwang: *whispers to the girls* Geez, I've never heard the Supervisor use so many words like that.

Shin: *whispers to Hwang* Is %$#^ even a word?

SUPER: Enough! I'm going to pull up a file history of everything that this computer has done in the past 2 weeks! If I find anything - and I mean anything - you're all on suspended payless leave, with the possibility of contract termination and subsequent extermination! Now let's see...

Shim: Wait! We've got to tell you!

SUPER: What?!?

Shim: We haven't been using this computer for a long time so you might want to be careful.

SUPER: With what?

Shim: With the... dust?

SUPER: I've taken my allergy medication. Besides that, I'm not allergic to dust. So let's see... *presses button on a computer* I hope that was the right one...

*Computer spurts out with activity and prints a list of things from the printer*

SUPER: Hmmm... *takes printed list* Two weeks, you haven't been using this machine? What about that time you hit the button to start up a football match of robots in Dancougar?

Shin: Ahah! You thought I pressed the button, but I really didn't.

SUPER: Really? *glances at list* I'm impressed. But you can't really expect me to tell the Office that robots, swans, and giant monsters tried to take over Starblaydia just by some freak accident! Fish cakes of all things too!

Shim: Fish cakes what?

SUPER: That rainstorm of fishcakes! Apparently, fishcakes were the key to getting rid of the monsters. And the robots too - it seems that the robots exploded on sight of the fishcakes. Unfortunately, the ducks, swans, and geese were all a bit too sorry that it was hunting season in Starblaydia.

Shin: They have hunting season?

SUPER: I don't know. But there were hunters out there. On another note, the value for Peking duck has dramatically decreased and economists speculate that with the continuing increase in price over pistachios that crazy-fans may opt to go for throwing ducks instead of pistachios.

Shim: That sounds crazy!

Hwang: That sounds neat! Maybe we should throw ducks at them?

Shin: *slaps Hwang* Cut it out.

SUPER: So you sure that you didn't touch this machine?

All: Nope.

SUPER: Okay... But still... fishcakes... *leaves*

Shim: Whew! That was close!

Wang: *from inside the computer printer, coughing* Ugh! Remind me never again to do these kind of favors!

Shim: Don't worry. We'll get your donkey back.

Shin: Before someone else takes it at least.

Shim: Besides, I really think you should chamois me. Tonight.

Wang: Thanks, but no thanks. I've given up on that. Besides, the Han play Jeruselem tonight and we've got to get some anti-virus protection on it.

Shin: Well, considering we still haven't figured out how to maintenance this thing, that will be rather difficult.

Hwang: I know how to maintenance it!

Shin & Shim: You do?

Hwang: Uh-huh! *goes to power supply and cuts off power*

Shin: Genius. Turn it off.

Shim: Now we're defenseless!!!

Hwang: Wait a minute... *waits a minute and then turns on the control system*

Computer: System rebooting...

Shin: You are such a genius! *runs over and kisses Hwang*

Shim: Okay... so now that the system should be coming back... How about the TV so we can watch the Han-Jeru match?

***

Editorial: "There is a Method to this Madness!"

It has been ill-stated that the Han are a blight upon this good earth, and indeed they might. But to whose good earth? Indeed! I assert that the Han present to all a unique perspective of "Thank goodness that's not me!"-ness! A clear remind to those less insane that there is a reason for every reason.

And so when Coach Yu hired that stick-whacking psycho from way back when, it began a great tradition of madness that either tickles your funny bone or forces milk out your nose (even if you're not drinking any at the moment). Either one painless or the other painful (unless your funny bone is immune to pain). And then we began a tradition of oddly eccentric characters who may have nothing to do with football, despite many of them playing professionally in the IFL (and then, that may be why they always suck at the TQCC et al...), but it's for the mere passion of the sport that the Han continue to drive this insane medley into your nimble heads.

There are the folk who are insistent that the world is a cruel place; there are those who insist that it is a fun place; there are those who insist that it is impossible to say anything about the world that details any sense of purpose; and there are those who insist that they need more purple elephants. The Han are none these creatures, who insist upon anything other than to embrace the world for what it is. Dearest Doctor Pangloss and his naive ensemble brave the world, because there is nothing better to do. I mean, you could imagine a better thing to do, but the truth is that there really isn't; if there were, it would completely negate the very existence of the better and best. For each prince, there is a pauper; thus a world driven all by the princes will be pointless if there isn't a pauper to support it.

And so, we come now to the point of insanity. The kindred folk who insist that the Han destroy what is meaningful to the game are merely playing to the plot of this mischief, by insisting that there is anything meaningful at all. After all, if not for the buzzing gadfly, you would all be soundly asleep and asunder. And as good neighbors, we'd like for you to gaze up into the Heavens and spot a star tonight and know that we made you see that star (or those stars, depending on how many you see). We didn't make the stars, but once you understand why you're looking up there, you'll appreciate that you noticed.

And so we ask not for you to ask what sort of meaningless play is necessary; we ask only that you embrace the insanity! Kiss it! Smother it with Love and Care! And play on your tireless tirades of insanity, because when you see by the end of your tenure here, you'll have lived a life that elsewhere none have lived before. And the Han will be happy then.

--- Kim Namho, Gwangdong Imperial Psychiatric Ward #1809

Sarzonia

16-02-2009, 06:04

Woodstock Daily Mail

Ryan Calvin

Junior Stars ready for Starblaydia, 'more work' ahead

In the grand scheme of things, it wasn't that long ago when Sarzonia faced Starblaydia in meaningful football matches. However, for a nation emerging from an extended period of isolation, it may as well have been an eternity.

Sarzonia could point to some triumphs in its encounters with Starblaydia. The Stars won both fixtures during World Cup XVII qualifying. They beat Starblaydia en route to a World Cup XXII title. Starblaydia fell victim during Sarzonia's march to a AOCAF XII title.

But more often than not, the Purple Peril came out victorious over the Stars. Sarzonia's victory in the AOCAF XII semifinals was the first for the second choice nationals against Starblaydia. The two nations didn't meet all that often on the world stage away from the confines of AOCAF competition, but the Stars generally won more often than not.

Now, the next generation of Stars and future members of the Purple Peril senior sides prepare to do battle in an eighth Di Bradini Cup that's been beset with problems. Delays caused by "bloody clueless" tournament organisers and massive computer glitches have been a distraction, Junior Stars manager Brett Hancock said.

You wouldn't know it by the way the Junior Stars have responded to the distraction. In their two matches following the lengthy delays, Sarzonia earned both wins, a 1:0 victory over Secristan and a 1:2 win over a Golden Throne nation the Junior Stars swear they've never heard of.

"Starblaydia have hosted many sporting tournaments, but you wouldn't know it the way this one has been run," Hancock fumed at a press conference. "Plus, their zookeepers have been dodgy with controlling their duck population."

To wit: A flood of ducks have clogged roads leading from hotels to training camps, from restaurants to stadia, and have caused massive headaches for most of the teams. Not waiting for an expedited permit -- or any permit, for that matter -- the Junior Stars took matters into their own hands, leaving a trail of duck feathers and carcasses near the entrance to the university stadium they called their home.

"They made this mess figuratively, they can clean it up," said assistant manager Chris Merrill. "I didn't expect this tournament to be this disorganised."

Nor contain this much drama. Newmanistan's national team coach Brian Carson dismissed Merrill during the qualifying session before the lengthy break between matchdays. Hancock and the Junior Stars moved quickly to hire Merrill, citing his experience with the Under 21 Rockets. The Stars opened qualifying with two draws, to Cafundéu and Krytenia before the interruption.

Not lost on Sarzonia's management staff is the fact the Junior Stars would have had to face Yafor II and its ultra-defensive system had they won Group B. Hancock said their defence reminded him of Rejistania's system karela, and that wasn't a good memory.

"Rejistania were our bogey team," Hancock said. "We were always pleased when Krytenia would beat them because we only won a meaningless World Cup qualifyer against the Orange Blues. Meanwhile, we'd always beat Krytenia in penalties. But we were just pleased when we wouldn't have to face Rejistania."

Whether the Junior Stars rally through this tournament and capture the Under 21 title that eluded them before they withdrew from all tournaments hosted by the now-defunct nation of Total n Utter Insanity doesn't seem to matter to Hancock and these Junior Stars. The fact they've advanced in their first tournament back following a longer absence than the senior team will be viewed as a major accomplishment, Hancock said.

"The top brass is thrilled," Hancock said. "We've still got work to do. That's probably the best sentence I could utter at this point."

Dancougar

16-02-2009, 07:41

Dancougar News!!
Thank you, dead presidents, for my day off tomorrow.

This generation a dud? Wings done in four: Dancougar's Di Bradini Cup ended on something of a high note after a 1-1 draw with Candelaria and Marquez, giving them a point out of twelve possible in their first junior competition.

Danny Adams opened for the blue and green in the 24th minute only to see the lead canceled by Matt Logan's own goal in the 28th. The Wings showed some mettle in fighting for the equalizer but showed no real initiative in the second half. Candelaria and Marquez did the majority of the attacking and a pair of brilliant saves by Artur Komarov in the last ten minutes made all the difference.

"Defensively, we improved as the tournament progressed, but we did a bad job of pushing the ball to our forwards," said Paul Spudy, whose short reign as the junior team's coach is likely at an end. The Trafford Tech manager never looked up to the task and it was reflected in his team's choppy, listless performance. "Our preparation was also not what it should have been."

The summer has probably not improved the stock of anyone going into the upcoming D-League draft, as teams prepare for the 2035 Apertura season.

Newmanistan

16-02-2009, 07:47

To: Oksana “Pups” Ferris
From: Billy Prescott

Congratulations sweetie on advancing to the knockout stages. It was hard to have to root against you today and I was like hoping you would lose 4-3 but you would have a hat trick or something. At least one of us is in it and I am happy that you beat the swan-obsessed drunks, just wish we both could have been in it. This Cup was weird but a good learning experience I suppose. I am very happy for you. I hope no one thinks you’re too young to be a captain now! You really showed them!

I was talking to my dad about wanting to play in Jeruselem and he surprised with by telling me that he would support my decision. I really thought he would push the Cafundeu thing. A career in Jeruselem seems like a great idea, and I would love to play with you if I could. Playing in the same midfield would be awesome, you think Tel Aviv has an opening for me?

I asked my dad if I could stay in Starblaydia to watch your game against those Han people. He said I could and that he would watch it with me as kind of father-son kind of thing. Maybe we can get him and your mom to meet up! I hope to be on the World Cup 45 roster. Coach Carson has kinda hinted that I might be a sub or a reserve. Maybe I can prove to him that I should do more. ;) He’s kinda annoyed right now that we didn’t advance to the knockouts. I don’t want to go home right away anyway since a lot of fans are calling us failures and it is really unfair.

Good luck!

Billy

Secristan

16-02-2009, 09:47

STUNNED MILLIONAIRES RETURN HOME

Secristan didn’t qualify for the knockouts? It was looking pretty safe there for a while, but a series of unfortunate events, nothing of which have to do with ducks or swans, in the last two matchdays, including yet another loss to Sarzonia in a sport (this isn’t just happening in soccer), and the Millionaires are on their way back home. The Secristan Department of Sports is not too concerned about this premature departure, given that they had nothing at stake with the games on free TV. Sure, there could have been some more advertising revenue in, but they should find a way to cover it. Cafundeu and our nemesis Sarzonia are the teams advancing out of the group. The only concern is that the Di Bradini Cup was supposed to be something that got Secristanis excited about soccer again after the disappointing performance in qualifying for World Cup 44, which was then followed up with a disappointing performance in Cup of Harmony 36. We will have to wait and see what kind of impact this will have on the amount of pay-per-view purchases for the upcoming World Cup.

Elves Security Forces

16-02-2009, 18:33

A calm and cool looking Jaime Kuu was just entering the lobby of the hotel that the Marauders were staying at in Starblaydia when the cute little Arawen Kevaeredal approached him.

"Where have you been the last few days coach? The squad was afraid you had left us in our most important hour!"

Remaining calm and cool, the Starblaydi softly explained to the striker the situation, "I had matters in Raynor City that needed settling. As soon as this tournament is over I will be taking over as manager of Raynor City United. I had to travel there to negotiate the final bits about the contract, but it is all settled now, and my name is on that contract."

"Why the heck could that not wait until we were done with the competition. Now you're head is not going to be focused on the task on hand, but on that silly club! Everyone knows that United are nothing but bullies who use their money to buy championships, why did you ever play for them and why are you going to manage them huh?!"

Slightly agrivated, but still showing a calm facial expression, he tried to calm the squad's star striker as they went up the elevator.
"There was alot more than just the money that made me want to go to Raynor City. They had first class training facilities and legendary players who could mentor me to become a better player. It also enhance my chances of winning trophies as well as getting a shot at my national team, surely you can understand that side of the equation. What greater joy is there for a footballer than to don the kit of his nation and represent them out there on the pitch?"

"I still think you sold out, I mean, look at how well Soldarian is doing now that they have had their youth players develop. You're supposed to develop your squad and groom it to be a champion, not buy the world's best players. It's just not right nor fair to those clubs that do not have the money to attract the better players."

"You're being slightly hypocritical aren't you? I mean, you come from a nation that has plenty of economic power that you are allowed access to the best training facilities in the world, being able to finely tune your skills in Academies, and can afford the money to submit teams to competitions like the DBC. It's hard to take your arguements seriously when you come from a land you are the ones with the silver spoon."

As the assistant manager unlocked his door and made his way into the highly furnished room, the lass was left standing starstruck at the revelation. She was snapped out of the daze when he yelled at her.

"Just don't stand there stargazing, come in here and help me set up this darn computer. We have to review this footage of Sorthern Northland's loss to make sure we are fully prepared. Also, call Gwaeth and Isilianrin, they need to look at this footage to if we are to understand how they were defeated."

Sorthern Northland

16-02-2009, 18:52

Beningrad Star online edition

Boyce: “We couldn't be arsed”

After a long delay in fixtures due to the ongoing antidae crises in Atlantian Oceania, Sorthern Northland's U21's were finally back in action in the final group match of the Di Bradini Cup last night. Last night's fixture at Victory Park in Vecchio saw Sorthern Northland take on a Jeruselem side needing a win to progress. The form of the previous three games saw the Sortherners as heavy favourites to win. However a number of factors, such as eleven changes to the starting line up, saw the Jeruselemites cruise to a two one victory to beat Newmanistan to the second qualifying spot.

Speaking after the game, midfielder Ben Boyce sparked a small amount of controversy when he explained why he thought his team had lost by saying, “We couldn't really be arsed tonight to be honest. We're already through, we've won the group. There was no point in us giving one hundred percent and maybe injuring ourselves or getting fatigued ahead of the knock-outs, we wouldn't have gained anything from doing that.”

When asked for his thoughts on whether that attitude was fair on the likes of Jeruselem and Newmanistan, he was just apathetic commenting, “Maybe, but I don't give a shit if it is to be honest. We're here for Sorthern Northland, not Jeruselem or Newmanistan.”

Boyce's comments have sparked mild forms of outrage among pundits and people who likewise tell you their opinions that you don't want to know about football. One such pundit is, Alan Gregan from the Windlesham Weekly who wrote in his column, “Boyce's comments are an indictment on our squad and in particular on the management team. If that is truly the squads view, they are an embarrassment and lack the professionalism one expects of an international footballer.”

Other pundits, meanwhile suggested that while the disrespect shown by the team should be deplored, it teaches us something valuable. One such pundit was George Palmer, a former Sorthern international who said, “What we have to bear in mind here is that eleven changes were made to the starting line up. Basically the reserves were playing for us, and hence had an opportunity to show how good they are, and why they should be starting instead of being on the bench. If the attitude of Boyce though is an attitude shared by all the players that came in, then we know they are players who won't be much use. What use are you if when given an opportunity in what may be your only game of the tournament, you can't be 'arsed' to put effort in?”

All the while whilst some look towards football for their comment pieces others were looking at the wider picture, with Sé Ó hAilpín, head co-ordinator of the An Blascaod Mór relief effort, commenting, “Yeah, the football team lost, it was a bad performance, and I'm as disappointed as the next man about it. But ye know, there are bigger issues. The fact that Sorthern Northland is still under constant attack from swans and ducks, and the An Blascaod Mór recovery effort. An eighty year old women was killed today as she went to the bakers, and we're all arguing about how much effort the under twenty one team put into a meaningless match? Can we get some fecking perspective here for Margaret's sake?”

Candelaria And Marquez

16-02-2009, 21:32

Quarter-Final Scores

Starblaydia 1 – 2 Sarzonia

Cafundéu 0 – 3 Yafor II

Sorthern Northland 2 – 2 Valanora [Sorthern Northland 2 – 4 Valanora AET]

Daejanjeiguk 3 – 2 Jeruselem

Semi-final Fixtures

Sarzonia v Yafor II

Valanora v Daehanjeiguk

Sarzonia

16-02-2009, 23:09

Woodstock Daily Mail

Junior Stars stay alive in Starblaydia

By Travis West
Daily Mail Staff Writer

It was the first time a football side donning the Sarzonian kits faced Starblaydia in a match that counted since before Isolation, let alone the Great Isolation. It was also the first time the reformed Under 21 national team played a knockout stage match in a competition once known as the Under 21 World Cup.

No matter how you view this match between the Junior Stars and the Purple Peril, you'll call this Sarzonian team a winner thanks to goals from forward Jody Nichols and midfielder Joey Alvin and a four save effort from goalkeeper Mike Henshaw as Sarzonia defeated the host nation 1:2, setting up a match against onetime Woodstock Pact allies Yafor II.

"We just went out there with the idea of playing Sarzonian football," said manager Brett Hancock. "We weren't going to allow ourselves to be in awe of our surroundings or the circumstances. We just wanted to play football."

Sarzonia did just that, improving to 3-2-0 overall as Group B runners up. They watched Group B champions Cafundéu fall to the Yaforites 0:3, meaning the attack-minded Junior Stars would face a defence-oriented Yafor II side. Hancock said he wasn't planning a "sea change" in the team's tactics against the Silver Wolves.

"We are who we are," Hancock said. "The worst thing we could do as a side is try to be something we're not or try to get away from what we do well because the Silver Wolves take that away.

"The team that wins this match is going to be the team that imposes its will on the other."

Sarzonia will have to work to impose its will on the Silver Wolves. After all, Yafor II have conceded just two goals in five matches prior to their first meeting with Sarzonia at the any level. Hancock said the defence-oriented style of the Silver Wolves could work in Sarzonia's favour if the Junior Stars take an early lead.

"They're used to playing behind the ball and frustrating opposing offences," Hancock said. "If we stay patient and take advantage of our chances when and if we get them, we may be able to force them out of their tactics a little bit."

Even if the Junior Stars can't put one past the Silver Wolves and end up watching the Di Bradini Cup final on the tele, one has a sense this Junior Stars team have accomplished quite a feat in their first tournament go since withdrawing from the Under 21 World Cup operated by now-defunct Total n Utter Insanity.

"We feel more optimistic about our programme now that we've had some live competition for our lads," Hancock said. "It's important that we learn from this experience no matter what that lesson ends up being."

Jeruselem

17-02-2009, 01:24

Jaime: It's OK Pups.
Pups: But we lost ...
Jaime: We're not going win all the time.
Pups: But I've failed.

Jaime: No, we failed. You might be the leader but the team failed not just you.
Pups: But I have to take the responsibility.
Jaime: We're not blaming you at all.
Pups: Oh well, it's over.

Jaime: Let's go see Billy.
Pups: I suppose we don't have any games to play now.
Jaime: Let's get changed and hit the town with Billy.
Pups: Nothing else to do.

Jaime: I suppose the Newmanistani team are going around chasing girls again.
Pups: They are young men looking for a good time.
Jaime: And Jeruselem girls are the best at that too.
Pups: No time to waste, let's party

Daehanjeiguk

17-02-2009, 02:28

Shin&Shim&Hwang&SUPER: GOOO...OOO...OOO...OOOAL!!!

Wang: *wiping out his ears* Thank goodness things are back to normal...

SUPER: Normal? What do you mean normal?

Wang: You guys are yelling at the TV, and the Han are in the semifinals... again.

Hwang: And we're facing those damned Vanorians again! What do we have to do to get away from them?

Shin: Come on, you guys! It's not that bad! It's another chance to beat up little kids and show them their place.

Shim: Shin! I can't believe you just said that! You ought to know that you should never dismiss your opponents, especially before a critical match. The moment that you start to label them as weak is the moment that they start to win!

Shin: But it's true! They hardly beat the Sortherners, and only because their goalkeeper got hit on the head with a piece of goose doo when a flock passed over-head.

Shim: Well, I do admit... that was pretty funny. But still! They're damned good strikers, and we'd be bad to dismiss them as just another team. They're former champions, mind you!

Shin: So are we! We've beaten former champions!

Wang: We've also been beaten by former champions...

Shin: You stay out of this!

Hwang: He's right, you know.

Shin: Wang's just sulking because he lost his donkey.

SUPER: What donkey?

Shim: *whacks SUPER on the head* Shin!!! He's not supposed to know about the donkey!

Shin: He's going to know about it soon enough.

Shim: Because you keep on talking about it!

Shin: Because it's freaky! Really! Who wipes their donkey with a chamois?

Wang: It's nice and soothing. Now stop talking about it! I'm not upset about not getting the donkey back. In fact, I'm glad because now I'm normal again.

Hwang: Normal?

Wang: Yes. I'm not idiotic or stupid. I'm just me.

Shim: We can fix that.

Wang: No! I don't want to fix it! I'm normal, and I like being normal! Normal makes me happy.

Hwang: But normal is boring.

Shim: I have to agree, Wang. Boring.

Hwang: Ah, but we have to take care of the Supervisor.

Shin: I'm on it already. When he wakes up, everyone needs to say that he hit his head on the ironing board when it popped out of the wall. As he fell to the floor, the iron lumped onto his head and burned his hair.

Shim: Burned his hair?

Shin: *pulling out an iron* Yes, burned his hair. *starts to iron SUPER's head*

Shim: Ummm... how did the iron turn on?

Shin: We were ironing shirts.

Shim: We have a washing machine.

Shin: *throws a wrench into the washing machine* They're broken.

Shim: Laundry was done just yesterday.

Shin: *punches Wang in the face* Wang got a bloody nose.

Wang: OWW!!! What the %$#^ was that for?

Shin: Because you were being normal.

Shim: She's got a point there...

Hwang: Ooh! And the cow jumped over the moon!

Shin: Good thinking, Hwang! The cow jumped over the moon, because Wang was being normal. So in order to restore balance to the world, I punched Wang in the face. He got a bloody nose, so we needed to wash clothes...

Shim: The washer is broken...

Shin: I used the sink. *throws a wrench into the dryer* But the dryer's broken too, so we had to iron Wang's shirt to get it clean.

Wang: Genius, now you have to clean up my shirt! It's all bloody!

Shin: Not a problem...

The Gupta Dynasty

17-02-2009, 03:51

Times of Chelmar >>> Opinion >>> Sport >>> Football/Soccer >>> Velastros >>> February 16, 2009

Continuing Success

If you're worth your salt as a Yaforite sports fan and if you even care a little about the lovely sport that men call soccer (or football, if you're in Starblaydia, like we are now) you'll have noticed that the under-21 national-team side, the Silver Wolves, are in the semifinals of the Di Bradini Cup. With the whole world holding their breath and staring...at the conclusion of the...issue regarding the EWCC. Yeah. I know I totally had you on that one. Tricked you, I did. Anyway, if you care even a little bit, you'll be really glad to see that not only are the Silver Wolves in the semifinals, but the team where half of their team plays, Caires Sports in Candelaria and Marquez, managed to not get eliminated. So we still get to see them for free. Yay Kaletas!

Anyway, why have they done so well? The main answer to this question is in the sublime form of Atoras Riegan. Lhatis' little brother is really showing Yaforites (and the world, if anyone is watching) that he is not only his brother's equal, but also that he is a fitting replacement for Prince Sebard when he decides to retire at the conclusion of this LIDYT season. In all honesty, the Silver Wolves have lived and died with Atoras Riegan - in his one disappointing game, they gave up a loss. Riegan has become the strong presence in the center of the defensive midfield that a Yaforite side hasn't had since Mosada Juhan was in his prime. As a result, the key for this Yaforite team to succeed in the upcoming match against Sarzonia is for Atoras to cover the Sarzonian attack.

A second key player has been striker Kordanin Ya'haan. Hadaris' little treasure, and you can really see why. He has a large body, strong, but he's quick and skilled enough with his feet that he uses that body to maneuver himself into shooting position. Now I know that he's the only striker in the one-striker system that Dulars is employing, but his hattrick against one of the best sides in the world (Cafundeu), giving his team payback for the loss during the world cup. I honestly think that second goal was the best - the way that he managed to edge between two defenders to get in position to take the shot with the goalkeeper moving in was really perfect, at least for a striker. I honestly think that we have a found a Yaforite who can score (which is a bit of a novel idea, incidentally).

Incidentally, on the topic of Damien Dulars - he's done a really great job, hasn't he? We thought that this year would be a rebuilding year, but he's managed to take a lot of prospects, of whom only two (the ones listed up there) looked at all exceptional, and fashioned them into a really successful team. With a brief "what the hell" moment regarding a Balrog in goal against Cafundeu (thank Enalla that experiment is over!), he's taken a really consistent style to succeed. I really like the way the defenders are working together - perhaps Dulars is ready for a job with a bigger side? Getting defenders to work together is really the biggest problem regarding a Yaforite side in general.

I'm amazed he's playing as defensively as he is, though. He was a striker when he was playing (albeit a not very good striker, but then again, I'm allowed to say that, given that I played with him for a bit). I'm guessing that part of it was the fact that he had a lot of really high-ceiling players with him, along with a group of solid players - and a really exceptional striker. I would be playing a 5-4-1 if I had that lot, as well. I think that his influence on Kordanin has been a big plus, as well - you can really see Kordanin have the signature flair that Dulars used to have when he played. When we played. Whatever. I better not be getting nostalgic in the middle of one of my columns, especially on a deadline.

Anyway, what's next for Damien Dulars? Certainly he won't be happy simply coaching a side like IYC Kaltar or the U21 side. There are a fair number of senior positions opening up internationally, as well as higher-up on the club level. With former Yaforite national team and l'Op of Ad'ihan manager Gerod Flamer still out there (though he's doing what I'm doing, taking a bit of a break, and deciding to do some commentating), there are quite a few Yaforite managers who might be available to coach on an international stage. Perhaps some of those countries who might want to look at a Yaforite (although, given the predicament Caires Sports are finding themselves in, perhaps not).

Looking forward to the Sarzonia match, I'm of the opinion that if Atoras has a good day, we'll be fine. Yaforite teams have shown the ability to beat back attacking sides so far (Cafundeu providing a rather beautiful case study of that), and Sarzonia is just returning from a long hiatus. However, that alone might be enough to motivate them to victory - the chance to succeed on a much larger scale could power them to victory. I'd watch that one of their strikers (his name escapes me at present), who traditionally stays back and cherry-picks. He'll be the property of Turan Actarish, who'll be guarding him the whole day. At least Actarish will find something that he is willing to do in terms of playing. Rumors have him playing a lot more for Caires Sports, in case you care.

If we win, it's either the elves (in which case Balrogs are the solution) or crazies (in which case Balrogs are the solution). If we lose, it's either the elves (in which case Balrogs are the solution) or crazies (in which case Balrogs are the solution). Clearly, we'll be seeing a lot more of Gothmog, king of the Balrogs, and his fiery denizens.

Anyway, that's really all I have to offer today. I'll have to talk some other time.

Sorthern Northland

17-02-2009, 20:33

Penalties see Sortherners bow out of Di Bradini

High hopes of Sorthern Northland winning the Di Bradini Cup were last night dashed following a controversial penalty shoot-out defeat against Valanora. The penalty shoot-out came after an end to end game finished two all, with both teams squandering numerous chances to win.

Prime waster for Sorthern Northland was Renzo Sportelli, who was bought an as an early sub for the injured Iñaki Arrigorriagakoa. Whilst Arrigorks... Aririgoriiak... Arriwhashisface has impressed throughout the tournament, scoring a number of goals, Sportelli has done anything but impress. His tournament started badly when prior to the opening game he was brutally attacked by a mallard, and after that he was dogged with (completely false) allegations that he'd been in Jeruselem slaughtering ducks. Both incidents still seemed to be playing on his mind in the two games he did play, he was average at best in the game against Jeruselem game, and poor against Valanora.

Whether or not he was in the right state of mind in a question that surely needs to be asked, and one that manager Chicão Trombada surely needs to answer if he is to satisfy critics. Whatever state of mind a person is in though, they should have been able to finish at least one of the numerous chances Sportelli had. One which described his performance best was when with Sorthern Northland winning two one and with a quarter of an hour remaining, Anton Fry glided past his marker and into the box, to fire the ball across the face of the goal low and hard, to Sportelli little more than a metre from the goal, and with the Vanorian keeper stranded. Despite being practically under the bar and being in one of those 'harder to miss than score' situations Sportelli still managed to bloody the nose of a spectator sitting in row Z.

Berônion Gwaeth, Valanora's number nine fared little better than Sportelli, as he also spurned a number of good opportunity. Arawen Kevaeredal on the other hand gave both Sportelli and Gwaeth a lesson in scoring with two finely finished goals. The first a powerful long range effort in the twentieth minute to give Valanora the lead, and the a second, an instinctive strike of a loose ball following a corner to put the score at two two with just over ten minutes remaining, with Matt Griggs and Marek Krofcky having scored in between her two goals to put the Sortherners two one up.

Extra time proved fruitless in determining a winner, with the few opportunity created falling to the hapless Sportelli and Gwaeth. A penalty shoot-out was therefore needed to decide just who would march on to the semi-final to face Daehanjeiguk and who would be left moping around in an airport departure lounge. It was Sorthern Northland who took the first penalty, with Krofcky successfully converting. Valanora followed up, by successfully converting their first, penalty, with the Sortherners, converting their second, and Valanora doing likewise. Sportelli was then once again the villain as he missed his country's third penalty allowing Valanora to take the lead with their next kick. Something which, Celahir Melwasúl did with ease. The controversial incident then happened on Sorthern Northland's fourth penalty. Having placed his kick hard towards the top right corner, Zulfiqar al-Khattab looked to have scored a third penalty, until a goose suddenly flew into the path of the goal keeping it out, leaving Valanora only needing to score their next penalty to win. Something which they did when the goose, having been scared by being hit quite hard with a football attacked goalkeeper, Dirk Weber as Lólindir Culnámo soft penalty rolled past him.

The Sortherners protested long and hard to the suspiciously Bostopian looking ref, the ref however was having none of it, and allowed both penalties to stand paving the road to the semi-final for Valanora, and leaving Sorthern Northland, to yet again, curse water faring birds. Those fecking bastards.

Candelaria And Marquez

17-02-2009, 23:02

Semi-Final Scores

Sarzonia 2 – 0 Yafor II

Valanora 0 – 1 Daehanjeiguk

Final Fixtures

Third-Place Play-Off ~ Yafor II v Valanora

FINAL ~ Sarzonia v Daehanjeiguk

Sarzonia

17-02-2009, 23:44

Woodstock Daily Mail
Junior Stars advance to final

By Travis West
Daily Mail Staff Writer

It's been a long time coming.

The Sarzonian Under 21 national team was absent from competition for 11 cups, during which the Under 21 World Cup hosted by Total n Utter Insanity morphed into the Di Bradini Cup in Starblaydia. They were facing a Yafor II side playing an ultra defensive system reminiscent to many Sarzonia football supporters of Rejistania's System Karela.

Even so, the Sarzonian Under 21 national football team finally cracked the stingy Yaforite defence and advanced to the finals of the eighth installment of the Di Bradini Cup with a 2-0 victory. It marks the first appearance for the Junior Stars in a final since World Cup VI in 23 cups, when the Junior Stars lost to now-defunct Bedistan 3-2.

"We haven't taken time to stop and enjoy the journey," said manager Brett Hancock. "Even when we faced the long delay between matches, we were focused on trying to stay ready. There'll be time to evaluate this Di Bradini Cup after it's over."

Following Sarzonia's win over Yafor II, several Junior Stars players ran over to assistant manager Chris Merrill and hugged him. After Newmanistan Under 21 national team manager Brian Carson fired him, Hancock hired him as manager in waiting. When the Rockets were eliminated following the group stage, few Junior Stars had an idea he'd be helping Hancock guide them to the finals.

"It was just a matter of right place, right time," Merrill said of his hiring. "Brett came along with a great opportunity at a time when I needed one. I'll be grateful to him for a long time for that."

As for the match itself, the Junior Stars took advantage of Yafor II's defensive posture for two goals, Jody Nichols's in the 28th minute and Bob Graham's in the second minute of first half stoppage time. Following the halftime talk, Yafor II manager Damien Dulars abandoned the defensive effort and tried to play a more attack-minded style. Hancock said that decision was a mistake, but the Junior Stars couldn't take advantage.

"We had three shots on net, but [goalkeeper Maeshal] Abid made great saves on all of them," Hancock said. "We easily could have scored six goals this match."

The Junior Stars will more than gladly settle for two, even though a media outlet from Candelaria and Marequez dismissed Sarzonia's Group B as a group "no one cares" about. Merrill scoffed at the comment, saying, "well, a Group B side is in the final and they're not. I guess they're going to have to start caring about us."

Hancock shrugged off the comment.

"I'm not worried about that stuff," Hancock said. "I've got enough things on my mind trying to develop tactics for this match against the Han."

They prepare to face Daehanjeiguk in what organisers would likely describe as an extremely unlikely final. However, Raven said that didn't deter her or the rest of the Junior Stars.

"We're here, that's what matters," she said.

Daehanjeiguk

18-02-2009, 05:14

Hwang: Well, you can never really tell when they've drunk too much.

Shin: Who?

Hwang: The Sortherners just wrote a completely fictional article about them losing their match against Valanora in penalty kicks. I must admit that I'm surprised that they still remember the goose though.

Shin: That's just fans trying to put off the blame of who lost the match. You'll see it occasionally.

Hwang: Well, it's pretty fun to read. I wonder why the Vanorian's aren't doing the same.

Shim: Probably because they have better things to do. They're really a troubled people, always concerned about losing their connection to Elune, some goddess she is... I'm not sure. I read about it all of the time. It's like they say their society is becoming too polluted with hostile influences from the immoral mortal men of the world.

Hwang: Like us? *smiling*

Shim: *slaps Hwang* Yes. Especially you.

Hwang: That's good to know.

Shim: I think they could solve all of their problems if they'd just blame it all on you.

Shin: They already do. They've blamed the Han for everything. If I'd ever seen racial profiling, they'd be the best ones at it.

Shim: They're not the only ones. It seems that we're not very well liked in the world.

Shin: I wonder why.

Shim: They think we're all too eccentric or just plain insane.

Hwang: *interjectory* In the brain!

Shin&Shim: *slap Hwang in the face* Cut it out!

Hwang: Ouch, that actually hurt.

Shim: Good!

Shin: Well, I don't really care what others think about the Han. As long as they win! And right now, we're winning.

Wang: We've still got to handle Sarzonia.

Shin: Where'd you come from?

Wang: I just came back from the Supervisor's Office. He told me that I should stop being normal and get on with life. All because you punched me in the face.

Hwang: Actually it's all because Shin said that you had a donkey.

SUPER: Donkey? Where?

Shin: Oh, he only said Donkey Kong!

SUPER: No, I heard that last remark perfectly clear. Wang has a donkey.

Shin: Well, that's what he was talking about! Wang has a Donkey Kong!

SUPER: What the %$#^ is a Donkey Kong and why the %$#^ does Wang have it?

Wang: It's not like it's contagious, is it?

SUPER: Contagious?!? *hits a button on the computer*

Computer: QUARANTINE! YOUR FACILITY HAS BEEN TARGETED IN A RANDOMLY SELECTED INSPECTION FOR CONTAGION AND PESTILENCE! PLEASE PREPARE TO BE INSPECTED!

Hwang: Hmmm, I've always wondered what that button did...

Shim: Did they have to make it so loud?

SUPER: Wang, I want you to get inspected first! I want to know what it is, where it is, when it is, how it is, why it is, and who it is! Then everyone else is in line. I don't want this contagion to go any farther than it needs to be.

Wang: All in the name of normalcy... *walks through probing machine*

SUPER: Wang... you have to take off your clothes...

Wang: You had to say the obvious... *removes clothes and then steps back into probing machine*

SUPER: You might feel some slight...

Wang: %$#^#@$WEQADSXCZE%C*&U...

SUPER: Um, yeah, that...

Computer: Next!

SUPER: *looks at others* Hwang?

Hwang: I know that I don't have Donkey Kong.

Shim: Me too.

Shin: Me three.

SUPER: Well, I guess that I don't have Donkey Kong either. Computer?

Computer: No detectable contagion detected.

SUPER: Well, that's reassuring... *turns off quarantine* Wang, great news! You're clean!

Wang: *visibly scarred* ...

SUPER: Congrats... and get your clothes back on. You're filthy. *leaves*

Hwang: You okay? You look like you've just run through Hell...

Wang: *still visibly scarred* ...

Shim: I think Wang is going to need some alone time. I'll help him out of here, while you guys get ready for the Han-Sarzonia match. *escorts Wang out*

Shin: So who do you think will win?

Hwang: The Han. It's not a question.

Shin: Are you sure? I mean, Sarzonia did pick up that one guy from Newmanistan, and now they haven't lost a game since.

Hwang: Luck.

Shin: Luck? You're saying winning the last 4 matches is a matter of luck? What about the Han then?

Hwang: We're destined to win this Cup.

Shin: *slaps Hwang* You've got to be more humble! Otherwise, we won't win!

Hwang: Who says?

Shin: The rule of hubris! He who boasts loudest speaks weakest!

Hwang: You just made that up!

Shin: *slaps Hwang again* So what? The rule of hubris! If you're not going to be humble, then you won't win! It's just the way that it works out!

Hwang: I see. But what if Sarzonia is being humble?

Shin: Then we'll have to be even more humble than they are.

Hwang: Humbler?

Shin: *slaps Hwang* Stop being a grammar Nazi!

Hwang: My back is starting to get sore. Would you mind slapping my shoulder for a while.

Shin: *slaps Hwang crazy* Stop complaining!

Shim: *running and huffing* Wang is mad!

Shin: What do you mean?

Shim: You remember that big furry green guy on TV?

Shin: The one who has short shorts?

Shim: Yeah!

Hwang: Wang cannot get mad.

Shim: *glances at Hwang* Be my guest.

Hwang: *going after Wang* Yo! Wang!

Wang: *stampedes into the Control Room huffing and puffing like a crazed maniac* %$#^!Qe7*&S_({GKwqaS%$Rfd5s!

Hwang: *hides* Okay, he is mad.

SUPER: Wang! What the %$#^ are you doing?

Wang: *grunts and tackles SUPER*

SUPER: *in a distant but desperate cry* ACK!!! HE'S GOT ME! HE'S GOT MEEE!!!

Hwang: *glancing at Wang and SUPER* Maybe we should help him?

Shin: On the contrary, I think I've figured out why everyone hate the Han...

Candelaria And Marquez

18-02-2009, 20:19

Vaguely Official Annoucement

This being formal confirmation that the cut-off for the final and third-place play-off will be at 1500 UTC on Thursday rather than this evening, on account of the several earlier hours of jolt downtime and a certain amount of me-not-actually-being-hereness. My apologies. On Wednesdays, I take presents to baby orphans and sick dolphins, and do hate to let any of them down.

Extra time for more potential bonus points for everyone, though. Wooo, etcetera.

Sarzonia

18-02-2009, 23:08

8th Di Bradini Cup Previews

Third Place Match

Yafor II (3-0-1, nine points; Group A runners up)
v.
Valanora (2-1-1, seven points; Group D runners up)

HOW THEY GOT HERE: Like their senior brethren, the Marauders looked like a team that could run roughshod over the competition until Daehanjeiguk knocked them off. Now, like their senior brethren, they'll be forced to settle for the third place match. In the Di Bradini Cup, their opponent will be the defence-oriented Silver Wolves of Yafor II.

Valanora can win if: They can find a way to penetrate the stingy Silver Wolves defence. Except for the aberration of a 2-0 loss to Sarzonia, Yafor II rarely concedes goals. With the exception of its 4-2 win after extra time, the Marauders only scored an average of one goal per match.

Yafor II can win if: Their offence comes to play along with their defence. The Silver Wolves aren't known for much of an offence, but both aspects of their team failed them against the Junior Stars. They will have to not only find a way to bottle up a less-than-impressive looking Valanora offence, but they're going to have to figure out a way to get a goal past Amras Táralóm.

Prediction: Yafor II 1:2 Valanora

Final

Sarzonia (2-2-0, eight points; Group B runners up)
v.
Daehanjeiguk (2-2-0, eight points; Group D champions)

HOW THEY GOT HERE: For Daehanjeiguk, it was a carbon copy of the World Cup XLIV qualifying campaign. They defeated Valanora during the group stage and actually left the Marauders second in the group, then advanced far in the World Cup finals. This time, they knocked off the Marauders again in the semifinals to end up one win away from hoisting the Di Bradini Cup. As for Sarzonia, their run to the final could hardly be more improbable. The Junior Stars are competing in their first Under 21 football competition of any kind since World Cup XVI.

Sarzonia can win if: Their run of luck continues. Following an extended break due to a catastrophic computer failure and a duck invasion, the Junior Stars started winning. And winning. They finished second ahead of defending Di Bradini Cup champions Secristan, then defeated host nation Starblaydia and Yafor II. They'll have to continue to play their brand of attack-minded football and play just strong enough defence to hold off the Han.

Daehanjeiguk can win if: They don't give the Junior Stars too many opportunities. Sarzonia showed themselves to be a fortunate side, but more importantly, have rounded into their best form in the knockout stages. Daehanjeiguk can lift the Di Bradini Cup, but will have to avoid being overconfident. They are the favourites in this tournament, and rightly so.

Prediction: Daehanjeiguk 2:1 Sarzonia

Daehanjeiguk

19-02-2009, 03:00

Shin: Oh no!!!

Hwang: *shuffling through the cabinet* What's wrong?

Shim: Sarzonia has done the most despicable thing yet!

Hwang: What's that?

Shin: They've predicted their own loss!

Hwang: So? How's that despicable?

Shin: Don't you remember anything about the rule of hubris? By saying that they're going to lose the match, they've just about showed the ultimate form of humility. It just can't be beat.

Shim: Unless if we say that the Han are going to be beat.

Shin: But now it's all so much more dependent on how we say they will lose. Too much, and they'll say it's insincere. Too little, and they'll says it's not enough! And if we say that the Han will win, that's just being snobby brats.

Shim: How can the Han media react?

Hwang: What about tell the truth? Agree with them?

Shin: No! We can't agree with them! That means that we're accepting that they are the humbler team!

Hwang: But consider it this way. If we agree with their judgment, then that says we're willing to say that they are the accurate predictors of such things. After all, wouldn't predicting a score be considered snobbish?

Shim: But that's cheating!

Wang: He has a point. If we don't say that the Han will win or lose, we can't be told that we were too proud. Trying to predict the better score would be just worse.

Shin: Hmmm, that's true! So we'll say that we can't say!

Wang: That would be a great thing, except that Coach Yu has already said that the young Han tykes will smash Sarzonia and fulfill the Group B prediction set by Candelaria And Marquez. Now who wants some pop-corn?

Hwang: POP-CORN!!! *munches on some pop-corn*

Shin: NOOO!!!

Shim: Now how will we win the rule of hubris?

Wang: I'd say just take the match for what it is. I mean, I don't think we've ever lost a match in which we participated in the final. We did have that freak BoF23 Final Match, in which both sides were locked into a penalty shoot-out nightmare that was settled by the goalkeepers - literally. Maybe we're in for a repeat of that?

Shim: I hope not. I don't think that I could personally last 8 penalty shots gone wide.

Shin: Speaking of which, are you feeling better after your panic episode some time ago?

Wang: Well, if you're asking me if I'm feeling normal, I think the answer is no. But I'm happy, because everytime I start to feel normal, things suddenly turn for the worse. Just as long as no one ever mentions me and my ass again.

SUPER: Wang! I've just gotten a message from some creature called "El Gordo Burro" claiming that he knows you. What the heck is going on?

Wang: What? What's wrong?

SUPER: You tell me! He says that you're a character reference in an on-going Imperial investigation against hostile foreign animals. They're threatening to deport him back to his home country of ... Nambukguk... unless he can prove that he's here with visitation rights. He says that you can attest for him. Now, first of all... how the %$#^ does El Gordo Burro know you, and second of all, why does El Gordo Burro know you?

Wang: *sweating profusely* Ummm... I don't know what you're talking about.

SUPER: Are you sure? Because El Gordo Burro is pretty adamant that he insists you know him.

Wang: *gulps* I don't know any El Gordo Burro.

SUPER: *raises an eye-brow* Are you sure?

Wang: *nods* Yes.

SUPER: I don't get what's up with you, recently Wang. You're usually the good one... *to the phone* My guy says that he doesn't your El Gordo Burro. Lock him up and send him back home. *leaves*

Wang: *visibly distraught* ...

Shim: Wang... are you alright?

Wang: I need to be alone... *leaves sobbing*

Shin: Poor Wang... his ass is going to be deported.

Shim: And it's my fault. It's all my fault.

Shin: *trying to console Shim* It's not all your fault. It's our fault.

Shim: But I thought of the idea. It was my idea. And now Wang's going to hate me for it. I never meant for any bad things to happen. *cries*

Shin: *cries with Shim* It's okay. We'll move on. We've always moved on. El Gordo Burro will find a new home somewhere else, and Wang will get over it. Nevermind that he completely threw away his friendship, because no one else loved that ass more than he did... and now that ass is going to find out how friendship is shredded to pieces.

Shim: I don't mind it that Wang wipes him with a chamois cloth! I just want things to be right!

Hwang: I can do that! *runs up to the computer*

Shin&Shim: NOOO!!!

ooc: a big cookie to whomever can correctly predict who/what/where Nambukguk is.

NationStates Jolt Archive

8th Di Bradini Cup (RP/Rosters/Scores)