NationStates Jolt Archive

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The latest incarnation of the multiverse's biggest and most enduring sporting competition is nearly upon us - the affliated Baptism of Fire is complete, providing a number of debutants with the opportunity to better themselves and become acquainted with the rigours of international competition, and experienced nations are starting to wonder how the elven hegemony is ever going to be undone, with Valanora now possessing the highest KPB score since the formula was changed.

If you have already signed up for World Cup 44, this is the place to get roleplaying. RPs here will count towards your opening matchday performance. A roster thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=577429) has also been created, allowing you to gain further RP bonus and help your fellow RPers as well as facilitating the use of style modifiers.

Signups are now closed.

OOC: Was going to post this as a post-Final RP in the Vahala Invitational thread tonight, but instead of going grave-digging, I'll put it here instead. This post follows on from the two posts in there, "This interruption is unprecedented" (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14294668&postcount=36) and "One more point" (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14298594&postcount=39)

Tiberius Starblayde should, all rights, now look like a coffin-dodger. Coffin-ready, even. It was one hundred and sixteen years after World Cup 15, after all, and he had barely been in his twenties when he had become the Lord-Protector of Starblaydia. Now he scarely looked a day over fifty, and it was a young-looking fifty at that. His eyes told the story of his one hundred and thirty-seven years, however, and despite the twinkle within them their steely hold on what was in front of them was waning. He was tired and only now did he know what Simeone Di Bradini had meant before he 'passed' into the Dreamed Realm.

To the eyes of the Elven Lord, Losaran ldhaiwë, it was obvious what Tiberius was feeling. It happened to all Elves, in the fullness of time, but rarely in humans. Only those who's lineage could actually trace back to the First Men would ever have a chance of experiencing this. Tiberius' father, Saevion, did not; he died whilst out hunting as the hunter became the prey. Simeone Di Bradini had felt it, as he too could have his ancestry traced back to one of the First Men. The blood of the First Men was ever thinning, diluted throughout the ages until the last remaining real strength was lost.

Even Tiberius, for all his qualities, was but a shadow of the men who had walked when the world was still young. In this fact, Losaran named him well. Though he translated 'Celebsilóm', the name he had given Tiberius, as 'Silver Light of the Past', it could be more-directly translated to 'Echo of Silver Light'. Simeone Di Bradini had been the last descendant of the First Men with any real power flowing through his veins. His seemingly unnatural longevity and accomplishments throught-out his life, both on the pitch and off, testified to that. Tiberius, on the other had, had that intangible aura around him, that indefinable presence when he spoke, or even was nearby. His spirit, however, was now too much for his body. Soon he would pass. Though his three children with the Krytenian woman, Dominique Domasca, would still have immensely long and full lives ahead of them, the blood of the First Men had now been washed away. It was inevitable, but unfortunate nonetheless.

The two, man and elf, stepped through the corridors of power to Tiberius' own office outside the Sjarondai: Starblaydia's Parliament.

"I have a lot of questions, Losaran." Tiberius said, deep in thought.

"We will surely have enough time for all of them," Losaran replied, "it seems appropriate for you to begin your asking."

"I can't decide which is bugging me the most," Tiberius said, "how you've kept hidden all this time, or why you've returned."

"If you do not seek, then it is most difficult to find," Losaran said with a smile, "and as for our return? Now is the time when the power of the Elves is at it's highest zenith for ten thousand years. Many portents have been observed, and we have calculated that now is the time to end our exile."

"The Marauders," chuckled Tiberius, who was dwelling on thoughts of 'elvish power' only half-seriously.

"Correct," came the reply.

Tiberius stopped in his tracks and turned to Losaran.

"Are you telling me that your people can play football?"

"Why, Celebsilóm," Losaran said, "I thought you'd never ask..."

Once upon a time, Brian Wilson was a young forward with a deft touch on a team once derided as a scraggly lot of weekend footballers. That was before that group finished a surprising third place at the inaugural Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football tournament, then followed that with a dominating performance at the fourth Baptism of Fire Cup.

The first-ever Sarzonian team to compete for a spot in the World Cup finals came within one win in its final two matches of qualifying for the World Cup proper during its debut in the run up to World Cup XVI. However, they had to play their away legs against Iansisle and Lovisa for the right to advance. Back-to-back 2:0 losses kept that Stars team from advancing. In World Cup XIX, the Stars finally made it past the qualifying stages.

That team eventually tasted the ultimate glory, defeating Oaker 4:0 in a performance that was at one time the most dominant in World Cup final history. Brian Wilson became just the second player in World Cup history to score a hat trick and the first to do so for a winning side.

Now, he was charged with helping a nascent Sarzonian national team return to the World Cup stage. During its period known as The Great Isolation (http://nswiki.net/index.php?title=Sarzonian_Great_Isolation), Sarzonia completely withdrew from the international scene. That meant no international competitions. That meant no regional competitions. That meant Sarzonia was left to fend for itself and to mourn the death of its standard-bearing president, the namesake behind the country.

Now, with a new president, the former first partner, sworn in, Sarzonia was ready to take baby steps in its return to the world stage. One of the most important manifestations of that was its return to World Cup football.

However, Wilson was thinking of none of those things. He was worried about that day's practice. The Stars looked like a team that had just been cobbled together the day before. Two weeks of training had done little to foster a cohesive unit on the pitch. Sure, when players on the starting 11 also were on the same club teams, there was some chemistry, but that had yet to form team-wide. Wilson blew his whistle for seemingly the fifth time in the last 10 minutes.

"You're supposed to pass the ball quicker than that!" he yelled. "If you see a defender marking you that tightly, you know what you have to do!"

He knew his former boss, ex-manager Mark Wingate would probably disapprove of his candor, but he didn't care. As diplomatic as Wingate sometimes was, this squad needed a little bit more of Wilson's in-your-face mentality. He nearly dropped forward Reese Nichols in a fight after Nichols took exception to Wilson's blunt assessment of his performance, but Wilson's son Zack separated the two.

Finally, after the players had departed, Brian Wilson was still there watching film of the practice. He saw some things he hadn't noticed. For starters, the team's defence was far better than he expected. Or at least it looked that way. Perhaps facing international competition would tell a different tale. But at least he knew one thing: Sarzonia were back on the world stage. It might not be the glory teams of years past, but at least they were playing football again.

The practice fields next to the Krakovsky Stadion in Moskva were deathly quiet at this time of night. For the use of professional players only, they were entirely uninhabited once CSKA and International's players had gone home. A light snow fell, visible mainly in the glow of the streetlights a few blocks away. Suddenly, disturbing the silence, a silver car pulled up into the parking lot of the Training Center, stopping less than a yard away from the fence that separated the fields from the concrete. A short, dark man in a finely-tailored suit stepped out of the car. Seeing that no one else had arrived, he walked around to the trunk, removed a heavy bag, and carried it over to the doors of the training center's main building. Unfortunately for him, they were locked.

"Fucking janitor..." Muttered the man. "Leave it to him to show up after the players he's supposed to be letting in"

Still swearing under his breath, he reached into the bag, and pulled out a large overcoat. Donning the overcoat and a fur hat, he strode over to the metal bleachers of the practice field, and sat down.

A moment later, a massive black sedan pulled into the lot. A six-and-a-half foot giant climbed out of the back, and walked over to the man on the bleachers, grinning.

"Aloyoshenka!" cried the giant. "I guess the flights from Cafundéu arrived at around the same time."

"Good to see you again, Ivan." said Aloyoshenka Vorotaev. "And congratulations on your club's Takil-Quip championship."

"You're too kind" replied the giant, Ivan Mizin. "Where are all the others?"

At that moment, a deep, throaty engine growl could be heard fast approaching.

"Rostov!" Both players said simultaneously.

Sure enough, a second later, at speeds that would give any Candelarisian patrolman terrible flashbacks, a low, aggressively styled red car screeched into the lot, doing a rubber-burning 180 to get into a parking spot. When the doors of the exotic supercar opened, out walked Sergey Rostov, and his perennial comrade Giovanni D'Ancona.

"GOD DAMN IT!" cried Rostov. "If that flight from Daytopia had left when it was supposed to, instead of FORTY MINUTES LATE, I could have beaten all of you SO badly..."

"Relax, relax" intoned Mizin. "The janitor isn't here anyway, none of us can get into the building."

"Can anyone pick locks?" asked Vorotaev."

"I've heard Konstantin Petrovsky can" replied Mizin.

"Yeah," said Rostov, "but from the amount of attention the press has been giving the kid, we've all heard that he can walk on water, raise the dead, and turn water into wine as well..."

"Give him a break" said Giovanni. "You weren't that good when you were 16, were you?"

Just then, the doors to the International of Moskva clubhouse in the main stadium opened up, and out flowed a good number of familiar faces.

"Izmailov, Pencherjevsky!" cried Vorotaev. "and... and..."

"Ben Dayan, you moron" called Giovanni.

"Speaking of morons" said Mizin. "Where's your brother, Gio?"

Jeruselem Government News

Ryan Greenly upgrades his job

Qazian Ryan Greenly has left his job as coach of Jeru FC for a better one, the coach of Jeruselem. With Monique Alexander retiring, Ryan who did a stellar job with Jeru FC and the Oxen Cup 9 team was logical replacement. This means the Jeru FC job is vacant again and Jeruselem is seeking a replacement from overseas.

Another change is Sister Marsha retiring as assistant coach of Jeruselem. Former player and Captain Scarlet Ferris has taken over as the new Assistant Coach meaning poor old Ryan has to put up with another redhead in the team on top of Kate Sallad and Marie-Antoinette Dallas. Not that Ryan needs any more distractions, as he's dating Ricci Alexander who's the daughter of retired Monique. Ricci is a exotic/erotic dancer and a friend of Dallas girls.

Kate Sallad keeps her job as team leader with Flak Sho stepping down as vice-captain to allow Marie to take the position.

Jeruselem FA President and Queen-Mother said (while baby sitting Queen Kate Dallas's new son James)
"Why look again when we have Ryan. We're used to Qazians here and we all get along well. I know it's like stealing but Ryan wanted more money from the Jeru FC job but the army are stubborn lot. So we gave him an offer he could not refuse. I mean who can not hire a 3 times Qazian coach. He's a great guy."

Ryan said
"One has to move on. Coaching three different World Cup teams in a lifetime is something not done very often. I know managing the Jeruselem isn't the same as managing the Jeru FC team but it's not that different to the Qazox team apart from the randy women."

OOC - Yes, I'm looking for a new Jeru FC coach

Zeke Inducted into World Cup Hall of Fame

After a year of buildup Zeke, born Ezekiel Ray Licket, was the first Taeshani national player to grace the Hall of Fame. Zeke attained this prestigous honnor after a vote by the Taeshan Soccer Association were he beat out current team leader Brian Yin Uing. Zeke played in Taeshans first 3 World Cups, and has since been the national teams Manager. He lead the team to its first World cup Finals apperance in World Cup 41. The Knights attained there first guranteed spot in the prestigous by entering there seventh world cup qualifying apperance. Zeke shall forever be known as the reason why the world found out about Taeshan not only as a powerhouse at baseball, but at the worlds most famous game Soccer.

(ooc: Bear with me, THIS IS LONG)

Northland Territory Daily Globe
733 days later

REPRINT of October 16th, 1946 article

It's been just over 2 years since the of the horiffic warp-bomb attack on Qazox City, which killed not only the Furhur, Daniel Renoir, but also every major member of the Qazoxian Congress, The Holy Oxen, most of the Judical branch, High Ranking clergy, and over 15 million civilians in the greater Qazox City metropolitan area. Qazox' use of plasma bombs upon the former nations of Sawed, Moonkins and Certifiably insane, which killed an estimated 45 million, and has left those now territories all but uninhabitable; caused the world at large to denounce, in every political aspect but sporting events, Qazox as a nation non grata. While the Q-continuum war saw Taeshan, Qazox and Sativaville make massive territorial gains, Green wombat and Prux also saw their territories added to as well. But the biggest contention is over this small piece of land, called by all the Northland Territory. Qazox claims it as a right of conquest, while Green wombat claims it as part of the neutral zone between the two nations, as they each staked a claim to the former area of Sawed, Wickedable and Certifiably insane.

A brief look back at the major events of the last three years in the Q continuum:


October 13th, 1943: Qazox declares war on Sawed, Moonkins and Certifiably insane; as Sativaville declares war on Wickedable and Taeshan declares war on Piscodemons, Pool Shrimpers and Insnaeindahead.


November 7th, 1943: Sawed is declared 'conquered' by Qazoxian Military, Sawedis deny claim.


November 24th, 1943: Sawed offically surrenders to Qazox.


November 29th, 1943: Wickedable surrenders to Sativaville, Piscodemons launches nucelar attack against Taeshan, which is responded in kind.


December 17th, 1943: Moonkins offically surrenders to Qazox.


December 28th, 1943: SaxerVilla Harbor attcked with cruise missles, over 5,000 dead and 70 ships destroyed.


December 30th, 1943: AMANDA claims responsiblity for attack on SaxerVilla Harbor on December 28th.


December 31st, 1943: Taeshani military claims that Piscodemons and Pool Shrimpers surrender; Piscodemons and Pool Shrimpers deny claim.


January 17th, 1944: Piscodemons and Pool Shrimpers offically surrender to Taeshan.


January 19th, 1944: Prux and Green wombat begin to hold peace talks with remaining fighting nations.


February 1st, 1944: Taeshan claims victory over the Southern Alliance. Sativaville launches attack in East Piscodemons.


February 11th, 1944: AMANDA attacks Qazoxian troop barracks in West Sawed.


March 3rd, 1944: Qazox launches numerous blockbusters into Certifiably insane.


March 10th, 1944: Wickedable offically annexed by Sativaville, Moonkins and eastern Sawed annexed by Qazox.


April 7th, 1944: Insaneindahead offically surrenders to Taeshan, and Eastern Picsodemons annxed by Sativaville; ending the southern war. Taeshan refuses to aid Qazox in fight against the Northern Alliance.


April 19th, 1944: Qazoxian Furhur Daniel Renoir call for AMANDA's terrorist activities to desist or face nuclear attack.


April 24th, 1944: The Q-continuum war offically ends with surrender by Certifiably Insane.


April 26th, 1944: During Press conference at Qazoxian National Congress, AMANDA uses a warp bomb snuck in by an unknown person with his daughter in a bundle of flowers. The attack kills the Furhur, Daniel Renoir, but also every major member of the Qazoxian Congress, The Holy Oxen, most of the Judical branch, High Ranking clergy, and also over 15 million civilians in the greater Qazox City metropolitan area.


April 27th, 1944: Acting Furhur Francis deVatte declares "Total War" upon AMANDA and other terrorist organizations within the Q Continuum.


May 1st, 1944: Qazox launches first of eventually 8 plasma bomb attacks in Northern alliance territory. (Other bombing dates: May 4th, 16th, 30th, June 5th, 9th, 15th and 20th)


June 21st, 1944: The Northern Territory is declared "No Man's Land" by Qazoxian military, after 8th plasma bombing attack.


July 29th, 1944: Acting Furhur Francis deVatte found dead at home, apparent heart attack. Since there is no Holy Oxen due to the death of the previous Holy OXen and most of the electing clergy; and also due to deaths of the majority of the elected officals, Qazoxian General Reed Yadir assumes control for a time of no less than 6 months or until elections can occur to fill the deceased's offices.

August 3rd, 1944: A new Holy Oxen, Johan Beling, taking the name of Hoofaran II is elected to the office of Holy Oxen on 5th ballot.


September 7th, 1944: General Reed Yadir declares Qazox a military dictatorship.


September 8th, 1944: Third Qazoxian Civil War begins when an estimated 40% of active-duty Qazoxian military personnel refuse to sign "Oaths of Loyalty" to General Reed Yadir.


October 1st, 1944: Green wombat, Prux and Sativaville declare themselves allies of the Qazoxian rebellion. Taeshan offically declares nuetrality in conflict.


October 2nd, 1944: General Reed Yadir declares Qazox a nation under internal confict and appeals to World Assembly for help.


October 17th, 1944: World Assembly votes down propsal to help General Reed Yadir regain control by a vote of 1532-31.


October 19th-23rd, 1944: Pro-Yadir forces launch counter-attacks against Green wombat and Sativaville; Anti-yadir forces take control of Fromburg, Pika City and Lorax City.


October 28th, 1944: Pro-Yadir forces invade Eastern Green wombat, and take control of complete Lake Porter Region. GW president Daphne Culins dies of an apparent heart attack, ending her 34 year presidency; Greg Di Saol assumes office.


November 1st, 1944: Daphne Culins' autopsy finds evidence of poisoning, Pro-Yadir forces are suspected.


November 15th, 1944: Taeshan declears itself an ally of the Anti-Yadir forces.


November 28th-29th, 1944: Pro-Yadir forces launch nuclear attacks upon Green wombat and Sativaville. The attacks are responded in kind, killing an estimated 3 million people in the Lake Porter region.


December 11th-17th, 1944: A week-long cease fire is asked by both sides as World Assembly threatens to send in peace-keeping troops by January 15th, 1945, unless nueclear attacks stop.


December 23rd, 1944: Pro-and Anti-Yadir forces agree to not use nuclear weapons or any other type of mass-desctruction devices in their war.


December 31st, 1944: An unknown person, claiming to be a high-ranking member of the Yadir staff defects to Prux.

January 7th, 1945: Pro-Yadir forces withdraw from Yorkshie and Gothika, leaving the entire southern Qazoxian region under control of taeshani and Anti-yadir Forces.


January 8th, 1945: General Yadir survives an apparent assassination attempt. (Later revealed to be a hoax perpetrated by the General and his personal security force to curry favor with the people).


January 13th, 1945: The "high-ranking member of the Yadir staff" tells the Pruxton Globe that General Yadir is planning an invasion of Green wombat, and that the assassination attempt of January 8th might be a hoax.


February 9th, 1945: First details of the assassination hoax are revaled to the Qazox City Herald form an unknown source. (Later to be revealed as Colonel Jason Greene.)


February 10th, 1945: General Yadir bans print, televison and internet media; in hopes of stopping the exposure of the assassination hoax.


February 27th, 1945: General Yadir orders military to invade Green wombat.


March 1st, 1945: Green wombat, Prux and Taeshan bomb Rockport, Las Vitas and Cuidad de Iguana, killing an estimated 1.2 million people in the attacks.


March 7th, 1945: General Yadir survives another assassination attempt. (While not yet confirmed, this assassination attempt is also belived to be a hoax).


April 12th, 1945: Upon threat of nuclear war, Qazox withdraws from Green wombat.


May 19th, 1945: Anti-Yadir forces now control the eastern third and souther third of the country. General Yadir moves headquarters to Vogg City, from Qazox City.


May 25th, 1945: Anti-Yadir forces take control of Qazox City, declare the restoration of the Presidency, with elections to come in September.


June 4th, 1945: General Yadir surrenders to Anti-Yadir leader General Oscar Velasez; Yadir is kept at Fort Hiram in Vogg City, until Yadir's war-crimes trial can begin.


June 5th, 1945: The ban on the media is recinded; and the full facts of Yadir's assassination hoax are revealed by the "high-ranking member of the Yadir staff", who turns out to be Colonel Jason Greene, Yadir's former secretary.


June 7th, 1945: Colonel Greene found dead in Pruxton, Prux hotel room. A man, later found to be a member of Yadir's personal security force, is arrested and charged in the murder.


June 27th, 1945: Pro-Yadir forces surrender en-masse, effectively ending the Third Qazoxian Civil War.


July 1, 1945: Qazox signs peace treaty with Green wombat, Prux, Taeshan and Sativaville, ceding two-thirds of the War-acquired northern territory to Green wombat. Qazox will also pay an estimated 17.3 billion Zaqs in repreations to the other nations in the continuum.


August 3, 1945: Yadir's war-crime trial begins in undisclosed location in Prux.


August 30th, 1945: General Oscar Velasez supports the candidcy of Pauline Singh, one of the few members of the Senate to survive the Warp Bombing of the Qazoxian National Congress on April 26th, 1944.


September 16th, 1945: On the eve of the Qazoxian Presidential election, General Yadir is found guilty on 2 of 7 counts of criminal war acts in Prux. Yadir is sentenced to 75 years in prison.


September 17th, 1945: Pauline Singh voted in as 29th Qazoxian President defeating Harold E. Fallon 202-111 in the Electoral College (145,965,782 to 107,856,920 in popular vote).


September 19th, 1945: General Reed Yadir commits suicide, helped by unknown personel; 7 other members of Yadir's staff, whose trials were due to start on October 1st, 1945; also found dead.


September 20th, 1945: President-elect Singh, in her first speech following her election, requests that the World Assembly allow Qazox to return to the W.A. as an associate member for a mininum of 4 years, or until full membership status is confirmed by the W.A.


October 1, 1945: The remaining territory acquired by Qazox in the Q-Contiuum War is formaly accepted by the Q-Continuum Council and the World Assembly. The territory, Now offically called "Northland Territory", will become a region within Qazox upon 70% approval of the inhabitants. The capital of the Territory is Krenville, one of the few cities to survive the war intact.


October 13th, 1945: The Q-Continuum War Memorial, with a list of the over 28 million soliders dead in the war, unveiled in Krenville, Northland Territory, on the 2nd anniversary of the beginning of the war. The QNC memorial is dedicated in Qazox City, with President-elect Singh asking for the world to remember the cost of war and the folly of unchecked aggression.


October 15th, 1945: Pauline Singh sworn-in as 29th Qazoxian President.


So what has happened in the last 5 months, from President Singh's inauguration until today, March 15th, 1946? Well:


October 17th, 1945: President Singh holds summit with leaders of other Q-continuum nations. Singh declares that Qazox will reduce its miltary from 14 million active duty and 45 million reserves to 2 million active and 5 million reserves, to be accomplished by December 31st, 1947. Only Prux disapproves of the plan, and recommends that Qazox reduces its miltary to 3 million total active and reserve (600,000 active, 2.4 million reserve).


October 21st, 1945: President Singh survives assassination attempt. The perpetrator was shot and killed by local police. No motive has been given, and no links to AMANDA are found.


October 30th, 1945: President Singh travels to Taeshan for visit with Taeshani government. This marks the first visit of a Qazoxian president to Taeshan ever and the first time since 1926 a Qazoxian President has visited a foriegn nation.


November 12th, 1945: Northland Territory offically pronounced a region within Qazox. A referendum to have the Northlannd Territory renamed SaMoon Region (after the two former nations that occupied the territroy previously) is voted down in defeat on January 6th, 1946.


November 28th, 1945: Former Qazoxian President, Henrietta Frewley, returns to Qazox for the first time since being removed from office in 1932. Frewley meets with President Singh, and in a suprising action, makes President Frewley ambassador to the WA.


December 17th, 1945: A bomb kills 37 in Krenville, Northland Territory, and destroys portions of the The Q-Continuum War Memorial. AMANDA takes full responsibility on website within a hour of the attack.


December 18th, 1945: President Singh sends troops into Northland Territory to hunt down any remaning AMANDA cells.


January 23rd, 1946: AMANDA leader, Tobin Wasgij is captured in Emorx, Northland Territory, after a bombing raid upon a suspected AMANDA base.


January 29th, 1946: 3,500 memebers claiming to be the remanants of AMANDA surrender to General Oscar Velasez. General Velasez promptly resigns his commision from the Army, declaring "My job, at last is complete."


January 31st, 1946: Tobin Wasgij found dead in his cell. After an preliminary investigiation, a security guard admits to killing the former terrorist leader, before committing suicide on a videotape released to the media on February 2nd.


February 13th, 1946: President Singh invites members of the W.A. to visit Qazox to ensure that Qazox has been following guidelines set by the W.A. for complete re-admission to the W.A.


February 14th, 1946: Northland Territory elects Kevin Jabino as Governor. Jabino was a former vice-president of Moonkins andis elcted on a platform that promises to have Qazox relinquish its claim upon the Territory.


February 27th, 1946: President Singh meets with Governor Jabino about the future of the Northland Territory. Neither side can agree upon a time-table for a vote for independence from Qazox.


March 5th, 1946: Vice-President Charles Weddi dies of complications of heart surgery. President Singh nominates former Army General Oscar Velasez as her new Vice-President.


March 10th, 1946: Roits break out in parts of Northland Territory as 2nd anniversary of Qazox' annexation is remembered. Local police and Militia forces qulech roits. 5 people die, 25 injured and an estimated Z16million in damages to property is reported.


March 14th, 1946: Oscar Velasez comfirmed by a vote of 245-68 in the House of Commons and a vote of 43-8 in the Senate. He is sworn in at noon in Qazox City. In Lorax City, a bomb is found in a subway vestibule, but fails to go off. An investigation is currently underway.

Twenty goals for King's Eleven? That kind of performance would raise eyebrows, and it was certainly all that Karen Stadler needed to win some national attention. There were plenty of people who said that if Dancougar had played in Oxen Cup 8, she would've started at forward. It could've been a great jumpstart. Instead, Dancougar stayed home for that one, and her numbers dropped off in her senior season. She went to King's Eleven in the second round of the draft, and since then, she'd established herself as the heart of the team.

She sat in the coffee shop across the street from her apartment building. She still lived in Kishin even though she played in the capital proper. But she felt comfortable here; she was easily recognized by her bright red hair, but she usually didn't get hassled by fans. That's because she was the other woman in the capital, and she played for its third team. She could probably walk in here after scoring forty goals and everyone would still care more about what Jenny Sloan was doing.

A steady rain was falling outside the the shop was almost completely empty. She sipped her drink while reading over a letter. She took it in slowly. It had an official looking letterhead from the Football Association. That was the seal right on the bottom there, with signatures next to the names of officials. Coach Bilbao's was there, too. She tilted back the cup, soaked in the warmth, and read over it again. She'd been called up.

Looking back, a lot of important moments in her life had happened here. She read her Kishin Academy acceptance letter over a mocha latte. She filled out her D-League draft paperwork on the table right by the door. And there was also that day... it was raining, just like today.

********************

She was tired of the reporters. Ever since Zero's arrest, she'd been under attack. As his brightest, most successful player, her opinion apparently mattered, especially because everything she'd accomplished was being second-guessed. Some said her achievements were tainted. Others said she was an innocent bystander. In any case, she was sick of it. She thought she'd been clear... Zero had been a great coach and had done nothing, to her knowledge, except make her a better player.

The bell rang as the door swung open. The muffled pitter-patter of the rain broke into a clear torrent for a moment while the two men trudged inside. The door sprang back and clicked shut as they removed their hoods and closed their umbrellas. Karen recognized them almost immediately. She turned away, as if that would hide her. She head the footsteps come up to her table. She reached for her purse.

"Miss Stadler?"

Her hand was on her purse, and she tightened her grip. She turned to the man who addressed her. Yes, that face was familiar. They'd shown themselves in the locker room when she was in the amateur league, and she'd noticed them following up on her throughout her college career. It was their fault... their fault that Zero was...

"Miss Stadler?" he said again. "I'm sorry if we're interrupting, but I'm Russ Pa..."

"I know who you are," she replied. She gave them a cold stare. "You're the famous destroyers of Zero, right?"

"That's a bit harsh, but I see you remember us." Russ and Peter took a seat at the table. She kept her hand on her purse, ready to spring up at a moment's notice. But she sat still with an expressionless face. "I hope you don't misunderstand us. We're not questioning you or anything you've done because of him."

"Then what do you want?" she asked.

"I think... that you deserve to know the truth," said Russ, reaching into his jacket. He drew out a thick collapsible folder that was bound tightly to prevent its contents from falling out. It was bulging with documents and full-page photographs. "These are all the irregularities in matches coached by Zero," Russ continued, handing it to her. "We reviewed everything and presented this to a government panel a few weeks before he was arrested."

Karen took the packet gingerly and looked at it. She placed it on the table. "How can you give me this?" she asked. "If this is evidence, then, shouldn't it be...?"

"It's not on the record," Peter answered before she could finish. "You're right; if this was evidence, given the charges, it would be locked up for years. But it was rejected. All of it."

"We're not telling you that you're wrong," said Russ. "And we're really excited that you've been able to come this far. It's just that... you played in some of these games. You would know for sure what happened, whether you would admit it to us or not. And if this wasn't evidence for his capture, what was? You stand to lose a lot from this if you're not careful... that's why we're giving this you do, to draw whatever conclusions you want."

Karen sat back in her chair and looked outside. The rain continued to fall. She looked back at the documents sitting on the table. "This is..." she began. All this time, she believed they'd been making her life miserable by waiting for the mistake that would cost her her career. Or searching for the one undeniable link that would make her guilty in the eyes of the public. And yet here they were claiming to be on her side. "You know," she said at last, "on the same day, I had the two people who supported me most taken away from me. You took Zero, and then my friend... gets in an accident..." That got her started drumming up that memory, and her eyes were watering.

"Stephen Rotlicht?" snapped Peter, without a moment's hesitation.

Karen's eyes shot open and she turned to Peter. She slammed her hands on the table and leaned forward. "How did you..?!" she cried. She paused when she realized everyone in the shop was staring at them. Karen checked herself and sat down, but her gaze never left Peter. "How did you know?" she asked again.

"Ah, that... well, it's..." Peter stuttered.

"That's enough, Pete, we should go," said Russ, rising. Peter stood up hastily. Karen, though, barred his path. She was on her feet and was a moment from reaching for his collar. "Miss Stadler, we didn't mean to..."

"You knew Stephen," she declared. "Why? Why do you know about him?"

"It's in there," he said, pointing to the documents. "Wait until you go home. No one else here has to know about it." She backed down and allowed him to leave. As he walked past, he turned and gave her a little smile. "He's alive." Karen just stood there and watched them leave. Part of her wanted to chase them and ask them again. But she was rooted to the floor. Finally, she sat down and picked up the packet. It was all in here, he said...

********************

Thinking back, she still wasn't ready to believe it. But it explained so much. She rose to leave, her national team letter in hand. As she headed for the door, the barista caught the twinkle of tears in her eye. "Hey, Little Queen, good news from the FA, I thought?" he asked. Ah, 'Little Queen,' a nickname bestowed upon her because of Sloan's exploits for Shuukyuu Kishin.

She noticed that a few tears had escaped during her remembrance. Karen dried them and threw the young man a smile. "It is, it is," she said hurriedly. "I'm really happy. I report in a week."

"Score one for us, then," he said, "and the next one's on the house."

She walked outside. It was raining just hard enough to motivate her to sprint across the street for the cover of her building's awning. It only took her a few seconds to burst across, so the rain didn't get a chance to bother her. Instead, she swiped her keycard smoothly and the door unlocked. She pulled it open and walked into the lobby.

Karen didn't get far before she stopped. There was someone sitting right in front of her on the sofa. The tears she thought would well up never came. The man stood up and removed his sunglasses, but she already knew who he was. Seeing his eyes only confirmed it.

"I'm sorry, Karen, for..."

"Zero."

Stephen's face twisted to one of surprise. "Pardon me?" he asked. Surely he'd misheard her.

"It's you, Zero," Karen replied. She couldn't get any emotion into her voice. From his expression, she knew it was true. Russ and Peter hadn't lied to her. And just from that, everything else they'd told her, everything in that packet they gave her... she still remembered. It came flooding back in a new light. It hurt, and she couldn't express that.

Stephen couldn't fight it. He remained where he stood, so roughly ten feet separated the two. "Those boys told you, I assume?" he asked. She nodded. "I see." There was an awkward silence.

Karen was looking at the floor as she spoke. "How many times did you fix it for me?" she asked. "Am I really the fraud they said I was?"

Stephen tried to smile. "What are you talking about?"

"How many?"

Karen's voice was calm, yet forceful. She was trying to repress confusion and anger. Could she believe what he told her? "Six times," he replied. "There were only six. And only during that summer. Everything else you did on your own."

"But that..." Karen murmured. The number matched up with how many times she was mentioned in Russ and Peter's report. And yet... "It's not real, though, is it?!" She brought her face up from the floor and stared at him. "Six goals is the difference between sitting on the Academy bench and starting! Because of what you did, someone else sat while I went out there."

"All I did was create an opportunity!" Stephen snapped back. "Do you think you would've retained that spot if you weren't better than the person you replaced?" Karen was quiet. "Hundreds of players graduate from college every year and yet only a handful will ever start for a D-League team. Why are you one of them?"

"Because you..." she stammered.

"I bent the wills of opponents to create opportunities for my players," Stephen said, "but it was up to them to seize it. You gained confidence from that season and because of that, your power was discovered and developed. Your strength is your own! It cannot be taken from you as long as you continue to fight. Think only of those who are ahead of you. Surpass them! Become this nation's best forward and then surpass the rest of the world!"

Yes, he had to be Zero. That was the kind of thing he'd always told them. And it had been Stephen all along. Now it was time for those tears. Russ and Peter were right, but so was Stephen... he'd never won games for them. Maybe it was wrong, but she wanted to forgive him. And it seemed that so did those two... even though they knew he was out there somewhere, they'd given up the hunt. But that still didn't explain what he was up to.

"How can you be here?" she asked at last, her voice softened. "Why didn't you come back if you could?"

"In truth, I can't come as I please," he said. "I... I was taken by the government, since my talents were needed elsewhere." Now he was flat-out lying, but he could tell that he'd regained her trust. He hated to use her emotions like this, but he wanted to protect her from what was really going on out west. "They cooked up this whole thing to get me into their organization, and as a trade, they overlooked what I did as a coach."

"I see..." Karen replied. If he was working for the government, that would explain why Russ and Peter had left him be. They were in the same line of work, after all. Then they were like allies, right? "I'm glad I got to see you again."

"I had to come when I heard you were selected," Stephen said. "I always tried to be there for you, as me or as Zero. I'll be rooting for you."

"Thank you," she said. She finally smiled at him. For just that moment, it was like old times. "I'll wait for you, then."

"Good luck," he answered, putting his sunglasses back on as he walked toward the door. "One day, I'll tell you everything. Until then, trust in your strength. You will get your chance." He left the building and walked out into the rain. His car was parked in an alley around the side, and he made his way there was quickly as he could.

Stephen climbed into his car and closed the door behind him. The rain clattered against the car clumsily. "Finally, that should bring an end to that chapter..." he said, reaching for his cell phone. He frowned when he saw several missed calls from Colonel Brandenstein. He would not be happy to learn that Stephen was somewhere in Kishin when he was needed at Nordhausen. "Would you ever understand this if I told you, Karen?" he wondered aloud. Then, with a turn of the key, it was time to get back to work.

For Sarzonia forward Matt Lynch, the tone of Manager Brian Wilson's discussion today felt strange. Instead of talking about general terms related to establishing Sarzonia's brand of attack-oriented football, winning possession in midfield, playing total team defence and the like, the manager was now discussing Starblaydian team tendencies.

"For us to fully prepare for the match against Starblaydia, we're going to have to expect the following," the manager began.

"Uh, coach?"

Lynch saw the manager look up with a slighly irritated look on his face.

"Yes, Matt?"

"The group draw hasn't taken place yet. Why are we discussing Starblaydia, especially now?"

Wilson gave Lynch a withering look.

"Didn't you receive word from the IFF?"

"No," Lynch said, struggling to get that one word out with the lump forming in his throat. Murmurs from the other players quickly told Wilson that none of the players had, either. He stopped short, his severe expression turning to a more embarrassed countenance.

"Uh, I see. My apologies on behalf of the Federation. We have agreed to take part in a three-team tournament called the Mike Sarzo Memorial Cup (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=14332876&postcount=7172). Prior to qualifying, we are to face Starblaydia. During qualifyers, Starblaydia are to face The Archregimancy. Following qualifyers, we face The Archregimancy. Proceeds from the tournament go toward cancer research."

Now the chatter among the players was far more pleasant.

"It's a worthy cause," Lynch said. "We're fully in favour of taking part."

"I'm sorry the I.F.F. didn't notify you of the tournament," the manager said. Following practice, he picked up the phone in his office in Woodstock near Hendrix Stadium and rang up his father.

"Dad, no one from the I.F.F. notified the players about the Cup."

"You're kidding."

"I wish I was."

"Bollocks!"

Dave Wilson, now in his eighties, was still as mentally sharp as ever, even though his body was finally beginning to give out. He'd given explicit instructions to his secretary to ring up the players to notify them of the three-team friendly tournament. She hadn't done so before she left for the holidays.

"My apologies, son," Dave Wilson said. "It won't happen again."

As for the players, they returned to their homes or their hotel rooms with DVDs of Starblaydia's recent matches with an eye on evaluating the players they knew. They would also rely upon scouting reports for any players who weren't on the World Cup XLIV squad.

But not before Brian Wilson personally apologised to Lynch following the classroom session that day.

Head Coach, Shayne Boags speaks to the public about the governments withdrawal from society, and the massive amounts of Ruas being spent on the massive wall being built around theh UIT.
Good Evening esteemed members of theh press, if i could ask you to leave all questions until I'm finished thankyou. First off, I would like to announce with much regret and sadness, the official withdrawal of the Kjomasasopian Strikeforce from the 44th World Cup. The government has informed me that all Kjomasasopians are required to return home so that they can be concealed from society. Therefore, we bid you farewell. it was fun while it lasted.

Kjomasasopia - 2008 - 2008... "We Barely Knew Thee, But We Still Hated Thee"

THE ROCKET REPORT

NOT THE SAME OL’ ROSTER

Pocono City, Newmanistan- Brian Carson released the roster for the Empire this morning as they attempt to qualify for World Cup 44 and making it the first time Newmanistan had the opportunity to play for that Cup instead of well, that other one. When something hasn’t worked out in four previous attempts, you have to finally give in and make some changes, even if they were not moves you particularly wanted. Because of this, Newmanistan’s roster has somewhat of a different look. Of course, J-Mac, Brooker and Parnett would have nothing to worry about, but there are some omissions here. Tony Borsinger is not part of the team and Shawn Drummond, who has 120 interregional caps is now just a substitute. Regular substitutes such as Shawn Morton, Steve Boland, and Brent Treichler are no longer part of the team, and all of them certainly still could have been. Brett Prescott, at 39, goes to being a substitute in a move dictated more due to his age. Kevin Haynes is now a starting defender. Kyle Carrigan starts in the midfield where his brother Kevin once started. Alex Lampert gets a starting opportunity, and Bobby Foley, a defender many in Newmanistan have called the best player never to get interregional experience now, finally gets his chance.

Whether or not these changes result in the answer of qualifying at last remains to be seen, but Carson may have been a little motivated by what the World Bowl team did in Qazox. They made risky changes, and they finally got over the hump, beating two powerhouses: Qazox and Kura-Pelland along the way to the final before they fell to the juggernaut that is the Dancougar Black Wings. In that football it worked. In the World’s football, it can too. Newmanistan is due, you can’t deny that. This year’s World Cup is being co-hosted by Kura-Pelland and Candelaria And Marquez, two nations in which the Empire has had great success in. In Kura-Pelland, the Rockets took home the inaugural World Lacrosse Championships title. In Candelaria And Marquez, the Rockets went threw the Rushmore nation en route to their Cup of Harmony 34 championship, a title that was won in Ad’ihan, but great play in Candelaria And Marquez leading up to it was what got them there.

Can this be the year? Well, I (Clint Peterson) certainly hope so. For I am retiring after the World Cup. Covering Newmanistan in interregional play has been a special experience that I will cherish for my whole life. All my interviews with Brian Carson have been completely enjoyable, as well as the times I have had the pleasure to interview the Empress. But this is it for me. I will have a successor, and the Rockets will have other qualification attempts. I would like nothing more to cover the World Cup Proper once in my career, even if it’s a three and out. Enough about me though. I sat down with Brian Carson once again, and we discuss this roster and other topics including Brightonburg in the World Cup now? That’s gonna be a thrill!

CP: Welcome Brian, can you believe it’s almost time for World Cup 44 qualification?

BC: I’m excited and ready to go! So what’s this I hear about you retiring?

CP: I just feel that time is right. I will still be watching you all but I am not getting any younger and I want to go back and visit some of the fantastic countries that I have seen in the World Cup, but this time enjoy them and not have to work.

BC: Best of luck in retirement, Clint. We’ve done a lot of these. I still got a lot of time left, I hope.

CP: I hope so too. Some believe that whether you are retained after this Cup depends on the Empire qualifying. The Empress hasn’t said that but it’s just one of those things that seems to be lingering out there.

BC: I don’t think the time has ever been better for us to qualify for the World Cup then it is right now. If something unfortunate were to happen and we did not qualify, then I will reconsider for myself whether I am the right man for this job.

CP: The roster is different and so is the coaching staff as you added Tom Gratton of Putnam Lake as an assistant. Why so?

BC: I was looking for someone who would bring in some new ideas. Tom has done great things with the Eagles, and he coaches Kusler and J-Mac, well he used to coach Kusler, so he is comfortable with what we have and I look forward to working with him.

CP: Speaking of Kusler, Chris is the starting keeper and you have sent Corey Hennis to be the substitute. How difficult was this decision?

BC: Chris Kusler is someone who just keeps getting better, and now he has experience. It is hard to take someone’s starting job away, especially one who’s held it as long as Corey did, because they got hurt, but it’s the right move for the Empire. Chris has been fantastic, and just look at the sum of money that Port Royal paid to bring him to Dancougar. It was the highest transfer a club ever received for a player from a foreign country.

CP: Since Putnam Lake is one of your chief competitors in the NPL did that move surprise you?

BC: No. Putnam Lake is a smaller market, they aren’t going to turn down the money, and Kusler doesn’t bring all the great endorsement deals that J-Mac does. Gratton and the team owners put the money back into the club with several key signings, including the transfer they made with us (Pocono City)

CP: Moving to the defense, your starting four is Jeremy Brooker and Scott LaFave who are returning starters, and first time starters Kevin Haynes and Alex Lampert. Some will wonder why not Tony Borsinger, who isn’t even on the team or a Michael Harrison, who is a reserve. Thoughts?

BC: When you have attempted to do something four times, and have failed to do so each time, you have to admit that a change is needed. Obviously Brooker is an automatic, and Scott LaFave had a stellar effort in World Cup 43, which was his first time starting. The others, well, we need to change it up. Kevin Haynes once he entered the prime of his career is playing his best football and he deserves to be right where he is right now. Lampert, for his age, is incredible. He’s a lot like Brooker and I look for him to be a regular fixture. Just like Brooks, he went to Cafundeu at a young age, too.

CP: Borsinger was completely omitted. Why?

BC: I like Tony. But I felt we had some other deserving players.

CP: Alright, let’s go to the midfield. Alex Parnett, a regular starter since World Cup 41 is an automatic. Dale Stevens starts for the second Cup, and then, Kyle Carrigan? Was it a tough decision to leave Prescott out of the starting lineup.

BC: Yes it was because I still believe that Brett is able to do what he does best and provide jolts of energy into our team and get the other team off their game. You can see that he doesn’t have the stamina that he used to, therefore, it is best for him to be used as a substitute. Alex is excited about the chance to play for the World Cup in Candelaria And Marquez, and I think he’s going to be real good for us. Dale will take over the Prescott role to a point for us. Then there’s Kyle, who over the last couple years as really gotten better and looking more and more like his older brother Kevin who was a regular on our roster.

CP: Will Prescott be used in every game, or just about?

BC: It depends on the situation of the game. The closer it is, the more likely Brett will be in at some point in the second half.

CP: Up front, obviously Jeremy McAllister returns, and Brett Carlson has become an automatic, too. Jennifer Vilardi though is in over Shawn Drummond. I think the closer followers of the team will know why, but some of the more casual fans might not understand, so why don’t you explain for them.

BC: Telling someone that has 120 caps already that they aren’t starting is a difficult thing to do, but Shawn has not quite performed to our expectations. That’s very tough for me to say, because he is still doing a lot of the important little things like generating chances and getting assists. But he needs to be a better complimentary player to McAllister, and that hasn’t happened as well as I would have liked. Fortunately Carlson has. I have also seen very good chemistry out there between Jeremy and Jennifer Vilardi. Jennifer has a knack for getting up in there and knocking home the rebounds whereas Drummy sometimes would overpursue and beat the rebound, so to speak, and allow it to be cleared. Jennifer times it quite well.

CP: McAllister currently sits at 93 goals. Number 100 is probable. It’s amazing how quickly that added up, isn’t it?

BC: Well it’s been a lot of hard work. Jeremy has battled hard in 127 games to get that total, and it does appear as though he will get number one hundred during qualifying. If he doesn’t then we are probably in trouble!

CP: The listed subs are the aforementioned Hennis, Prescott, and Drummond. Veteran Shannon Vilardi as well. Then it’s interesting. Bobby Foley finally gets a nod. Also Chris Johnston, who’s become a solid defender. No one’s going to really question those. But then, Brian Rafferty? He has skill, but with that attitude? Talk about the others first then we’ll discuss Rafferty.

BC: Well Hennis was still going to be our #2 keeper, that part of it was never going to change and Brett Prescott and Shawn Drummond deserve to be not just on the roster but get solid playing time in my opinion. As for Foley, well he’s an example of where I am trying something new to see if it clicks. He’s a player that’s been on my shortlist several times, but yes, I had never selected him to this point. But we need a little more then what we have gotten in qualifying, and I want to see what he can do. I think he will do very well for us. Chris Johnston has blossomed in Centralia’s defense system and is another player that I picked to change things up a little bit. No drastic changes, but little ones may be what it takes.

CP: Now, Brian Rafferty? Isn’t this just inviting trouble?

BC: It’s about doing something different. A lot of our nation’s best midfielders are older or I just do not think that they are ready for this right now. Brian has played at this level before and he’s coming off a good year with Thumbria Bay. If he blows it then we will send him home, but I think he will do what’s best for the team.

CP: Now to briefly touch on the reserves. Allwine, Harrison, Seidler, Taylor, and Kelso. Seems like a good group.

BC: I think so. It’ll be important having them around.

CP: That’s it for the roster. Now making a last minute announcement that they were joining the World Cup is One Big Island’s largest and most populous nation, and our neighbors to the north in Brightonburg. What went through your mind when you saw that?

BC: I was surprised and I was excited. Brightonburg has been a great sporting nation in the region for a long time, and if they play to their potential they are going to sneak up on people during qualifying. They won’t be ranked well but the nation’s in their group, especially the bubble nations better not take them lightly.

CP: And I see the post qualifying friendly has been arranged between you two already.

BC: Absolutely, it will be a fun game for sure.

CP: Alright Brian, time to let you go, we’ll see each other again soon I’m sure. Good luck!

BC: Thanks!

The young Giovanni D'Ancona feigned great umbrage at this remark. "My brother, a moron! How dare you! I have many good friends who are morons, I'm sure they'd be very offended by the comparison..."

At that moment, an ancient two-door supercar pulled up to the parking lot, kicking up the light snow that had fallen into the faces of all the players present. Out of the driver's seat stepped a tall, attractive man, stroking his small beard as he observed his teammates.

"NIKOLAI!!!!" screamed Vorotaev, as he and most of the rest of the team leapt forth, nearly throwing their captain to the ground with their enthusiastic embraces. Suddenly, out of the passenger's seat of Nikolai Dolohov's car stepped an equally awaited teammate.

"Konstantin Petrovsky, in the flesh" exclaimed Mizin. "We've all heard the news extoll your divinity for the past few months. Ready to play at the top?"

"I hope so, Ivan Sergyevitch." replied the 16-year-old midfielder.

Vorotaev's cell phone suddenly rang.

"Hello." "We haven't been let in yet, it isn't a problem." "Yes, I'll be sure to tell Sergey." With that, the diminutive forward hung up.

"Nicola is on his way." Called Aloyoshenka. "He had to make a detour to outrun the Candelarisian police, which he said you'd appreciate, Sergey..."

"He's at Albrecht now, right?" Asked Rostov

"Yeah. He got a starting spot and everything."

"Anybody got a ball?" Asked Ivan Mizin. "I'm bored out of my mind, and cold as fuck as well."

"Hang on." replied Rostov. "I've got one in the car. Anyone for a little calle?"

When the teams had been drawn up, only 6 could be found to play, resulting in a 3v3 in the now-increasing snow.

"Nikolai and 'Shenka take captains?" Asked Mizin

"Sounds good to me." came the general reply.

"I'll cede first selection to you." stated Vorotaev.

"Mizin" came Dolohov's reply.

"Rostov" countered Vorotaev.

"Let's see what you're made of, Petrovsky" offered Dolohov.

"And that leaves me with... D'Ancona, J.R." said Vorotaev.

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VOL. XI... No. 2,134 Copyright The Oiseauian Beacon OISEAUI, SATURDAY EDITION, DECEMBER 27, 2008 20 OISEAUIAN LEU
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The Oiseaui National Football Team to compete in the 44th World Cup.
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By. A.L. Cruse

After the late 19th century Isolationist movement led by the Oiseaui Tribalism Division all international sporting events had been banned despite the many protests of sports fans throughout the nation. At the time, there was not enough support to lift the ban and until recently that remained the case.

Following protests outside the Capitol building on Aui island, the protesters finally won and as of yesterday, the ban on international sporting is officially lifted. Athletics has always been the center of Oiseaui culture, with half of the government ran island being reserved space for the Aui Training facilities. However, these facilities were used to train athletes nationally and while it helped breed future sport legends, it didn't allow international competitive growth.

However, the new Sports Commisioner believes that in order to truly give the citizens of Oiseaui what they want international sporting must be allowed. He was quoted saying, "Behind the scenes the National Sports Committee had already put a bid in for our nation for many international sporting events. In actuality, our nation has been competing internationally for the last 50 years. Rather than claiming to be the international team we simply deemed all teams, 'The Barons' and played as privately run teams. However, now it is official and above all the sports fans in Oiseaui will finally get the international competition they've been craving. Lets just hope our guys and gals do us proud in the international arena."

While the Beacon is still unsure what competitions the commissioner is speaking about, the research team did find an international press release which included a Oiseaui Football roster* for the 44th World Cup. So don your Oiseaui Kits everyone, it's time for our great nation to finally leave its athletic mark on the world.

In next weeks paper, an interview with Broderick Goins, Captain of the Oiseaui National Football team.


*Roster found on page 14.

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Malkoa's Madness

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Above: Malkoa Island, with Mount Rennida and mainland Rennidan in the background.


An icon, a being who's very image is upheld and worshipped by many of Rennidan's population, is broken. The man in question is one Ryan Malkoa, the manager of our national football team and now, thanks to the funds he 'borrowed' from the Rennidan Football Association, is now the head of the very organization he stole from, buying it with the very money he borrowed. Shall we chalk up just what has happened here over the last few years?

Firstly, there was the Flight 109 disaster, in which many of Rennidan's pride were wiped out in what is still considered a sore event in many a Rennidanian's heart. Ryan Malkoa, ex-goalie and then manager, was one of four lucky enough to have missed the flight and go on to fight the good fight. Within the fiery pit though lay the ashes of his partner who was then pregnant with their child as well as his brother, Jo Malkoa, who had stepped up to take the limelight when Ryan was forced out of the net. This alone would be enough to make any man break down, but Malkoa went on, and for the first time Rennidan qualified. Yes, it became clearer he was missing a few screws as the Cup unfolded, but surely madness is a price to pay for the genius and tactical awareness Malkoa held? That was the general consensus until Malkoa stole several hundreds of millions of golden crowns from the RFA, before buying his own tropical paradise miles offshore. He was out of the authorities reach, but still capable and eligible of acting as manager for the Eagles. And why the hell shouldn't he? He had the insight of the team, the knowledge of how the cogs worked, and now he had his 'own' money to push into the funds. The fact that he now owns the RFA just means that he can finally tap into the bank reserves the head honchos had kept from him before hand.

So where does this leave us now? It means that the Eagles have been training non-stop on Malkoa Island, a paradise patrolled by what can only be described as a private army of Malkoa's minions. It means they've had unlimited resources for both practice and relaxation. It means they should be better than we've seen them before. The young prospects such as Fersu and Deleks should be about to peak, but the lack of new blood can't half make a man feel nervous. I suppose there's only one way to find out what exactly the recent turn of events is going to hold for Rennidan in this World Cup, and that's to play the game.

Northland Territory Daily Globe

Qazox wins continental qualifying, advances to World Cup Qualifying.

While the Q-continuum doesn't have a continental championship, the Qazox Phoenix did finish in 1st place at the most recent Continential Qualifers, earning themselves one of the 3 automatic spots in the upcoming World Cup qualifying.

Here's a quick review of the Continental qualifers:
(Home teams listed first)
MD1
Qazox v. Taeshan 3-1
Sativaville v. Prux 0-3
(Green wombat bye)

MD2
Green wombat v. Taeshan 1-2
Qazox v. Prux 2-2
(Sativaville bye)

MD3
Qazox v. Green wombat 4-2
Taeshan v. Sativaville 5-0
(Prux bye)

MD4
Prux v. Green wombat 0-0
Sativaville v. Qazox 3-3
(Taeshan bye)

MD5
Taeshan v. Prux 3-1
Green wombat v. Sativaville 5-1
(Qazox bye)

MD6
Taeshan v Qazox 1-0
Prux v. Sativaville 1-2
(Green wombat bye)

MD7
Taeshan v. Green wombat 1-2
Prux v. Qazox 0-0
(Sativaville bye)

MD8
Green wombat vs. Qazox 2-3
Sativaville v. Taeshan 1-0
(Prux bye)

MD9
Green wombat v. Prux 2-1
Qazox v. Sativaville 6-1
(Taeshan bye)

MD10
Prux v. Taeshan 1-1
Sativaville v. Green wombat 0-1
(Qazox bye)

FINAL STANDINGS (TOP 3 places directly qualify for WC Qualifers (and are in Blue), 4th/5th places meet in best of 3 playoff to determine 4th team (in Red)
W-D-L PTS GF GA +/-
Qazox 4-3-1 15 21 12 +9
Taeshan 4-1-3 13 14 9 +5
Green Wombat 4-1-3 13 15 12 +3
Sativaville 2-1-5 7 8 24 -16
Prux 1-4-3 7 9 10 -1

Best of 3 Playoff:
G1 @ Marleyville, Sativaville (Prux 4-1)
G2 @ Pruxton, Prux (Prux 2-1)

Prux wins series 2-0.

Jeruselem Government News

AMANDA attacks Ryan Greenly in Jeruselem

Terrorists tried to kill Qazian Ryan Greenly in Jeruselem today. Ryan was in Tel Aviv with young Oksana Ferris, daughter of Assistant coach Scarlet Ferris talking to local reporters when a car drove by and two men threw a grenade at Ryan. There was general panic as the media dispersed. Young Oksana threw herself on the grenade and shoved a hairpin into the grenade hoping to stop it going off. Luckily for everyone, the bravery of Oksana saved the day and she stopped the terrorist attack.

Anti-terrorist forces hunted for the terrorists when they found them at farm on the Gaza Strip. A group of Qazian men shot it out with police forces. A young farm hand ended the fighting when he threw a crude nitrate bomb at the terrorists causing them to lose their secure positions. Soon security forces took down the terrorists one by one.

Local authorities believe the men were members of AMANDA in Qazox and none of them were locals. Assisted by the bravery of the young men and women of Jeruselem, the terrorists failed to kill their target and underestimated the spirit of the Jerusemite peoples. In Jeruselem, people have faced terrorism before and aren't as weak as some think.

A shaken Ryan Greeny said
"Well, I owe my life to young Ferris here. She maybe a stupid teenage girl but she's proven to be braver than many others. She was willing to sacrifice her young life to save others, and that's the ultimate act of a selfless person. I think it's an indication of the spirit of the Jeruselem team I've taken over. Reckless, erratic, and crazy but smart, skilled and dedicated to the job."

Oksana Ferris said
"It was nothing. I'm a big fan of McGwyer and I knew what I was doing. You don't think about doing it - you give get and out do it. I had a few seconds to act, I didn't want to die a coward. Call me a suicidal idiot but it was the only thing to do. I'd do it again. The only I was worried about is my mother having to bury little bits of me if it did explode."

Sean Dastrin stepped up unto the podium surrounded by the local media. Sean had been chosen to coach the international Draistanian team this year. It was the first year that Draistania would enter the World Cup.

After he had been introduced by one of the owners of the DSL (Draistanian Soccer League), Sean took the microphone. "Thank-you everyone for your support this year, and now I will give you what you are waiting for," the owners and such had already given people lots of nice talk, now it was time to get down to business. "Lots of people are saying that this is our first year and that we don't have a chance out there." This was followed by some light booing from the crowd and Sean waited for it to subside. "But I am here to tell them that they are wrong! We have the best players in Draistania on our team, and this, is a great nation that we are representing! There is no reason we can't win out there, and anyone who counts us out prematurely does not understand the game!"

This was followed by other key members of the team getting up and making similar announcements. It was a great pep-talk, but had little substance to it, that was exactly what Sean had hoped for.

Later, when they were heading to the office for some planning, assistant coach Dawner said, "You know those were all lies, don't you?"

"Of course," Sean replied, "did you think that we would get up there and say, 'we are probably goona loose.'"

"I guess you are right. But who knows? Maybe we will do something notable."

"From your mouth to God's ears, Fred," Sean laughed, "but maybe we can make it through at least a few rounds. We still have our strengths."

Chris Hannan shook his head violently.

"They want what?"

He'd just slammed his telephone down with the kind of force usually seen only in arguments with his wife. He was being asked to cobble together a national team for a planet that didn't even have a professional soccer league.

"Those fuckers at the Rymerian Soccer Association don't know their ass from their elbow," he yelled, to no one. Of course, no one was in the room to hear his sudden diatribe. He pushed a button on his computer screen to pull up the master list of players in Rymerian leagues at the levels the planet did have.

By now, it was too late to enter the Rymerian team into the Baptism of Fire Cup. The RSA didn't decide it wanted to compete in the World Cup until after Bears Armed won the Baptism of Fire Cup. He grimaced, knowing it would put his team at a competitive disadvantage.

Now we've not only got to get a national team, but we have to get them to Earth for road games and we've got to get them here for our home games? This is fucking insane!" Hannan thought.

************************************
Three weeks later

Such as it was, the Rymerian national team was assembled. Now it was left to either provide transportation to visiting teams for games at Rymeria City's largest stadium. For a planet that only recently discovered faster than light travel, it wasn't going to be much fun. The expense of hiring the star liner for however many matches it would take was prohibitive.

Yet another thing the RSA didn't think about, Hannan thought bitterly. He hoped he wouldn't have to be put in this position again anytime soon.

The men sat around a long table in a non-descript house in Angola, laughing and sharing stories about the good old days, when the most dangerous thing they all had to worry about was getting shanked by another inmate, or a fight putting the jail on lockdown and depriving them of their playing time. These 8 men are or were the heart and soul of the Arrozan soccer team, the ones that had moved on to greener pastures. To play international football on the highest level overseas. More importantly, they had all survived the insanity that came down from the Ministry of Sport. Prisoners one year, then conquering heroes the next, then the eventual flame out when the nation hungry for international recognition found “Real Football”. They had lived through gun-slinging mercenaries and the almost breaching of the fourth wall. From camel eating rebels at Vilitek to...well they have no idea what the heck went on at Prux that one time. These eight men thought they had seen it all, and somewhere in their roaming, they came up with the real catchphrase for Soccer Arroza, most lasting than anything the Government had ever come up with, they had even plastered it on the wall of this house which was paid for with money embezzled from Soccer Arroza's accounts.

Soccer Arroza: Where Gimmicks Go To Die.

“So Al, what's the marching orders this year? Are we going to get some aliens to play for us? Maybe actually try to break the fourth wall like those silly monks tried back in the days?”, pondered an obviously drunk Martin Lancaster, the teams leading scorer.

Ever the optimist, and quite tipsy on mescal himself, former counterfeiter Tate Parrish chimed in, “Maybe they'll just tell us to sit down somewhere and play some soccer. That's always a hope.”

Peals of laughter and a few kind insults floated across the table.

“No such luck gentlemen...check out the size of these marching orders.” Said Al Valente, holding the night's reason for being, the giant manila envelope from the Ministry of Sport that contained the complex mishmash of instructions, regulations, and the tightly wound budget that was the bane of anyone that ever tried to run the national soccer team. No wonder Ross Gaynor went to Sorthern Northland to try to lose the big game. Every team got an envelope at the beginning of their cup runs. The Basketball Team's was 5 or 10 sheets, the football teams was one sentence; Win a medal. Soccer's envelope looked like it could have held the Angola phone book.

*45 minutes later*

Laughter erupted around the table.

“So, let's get this straight. Officially we're not even a soccer team anymore?”

Valente choked back a laugh. “Nope. We have officially been re-purposed as a demonstration squad, that way they could send our budget to the Ministry of Tourism. Football gets a couple more dollars, and we actually get funded for once, Tourism gets a way to get on Nationwide TV for free, not just here but all across Atlantic Oceania. So we go out and “demonstrate” soccer all while doing our real job, which is somehow to show the rest of the world that we're some form of tropical paradise, full of warm beaches and hot mulatto women. Which also means that instead of having actual soccer players, we're going to add a flotilla of models, porn stars, soap opera actors, anyone that's played at least High School soccer as long as you look good. Sigh, they're even hooking it up to that Arrozan Idol show they're doing, since the winner gets to make the team as well.”

“Well the good news is that at least when we fail this time we'll do it around some really hot chicks.”

Many of the Draistanian news stations that night were ridiculing their soccer team that night and breaking down some of the reasons why their victory was impossible. "You had to know this would happen, Sean," Dawner said as they were leaving the office that night.

"That is why I told the players not to watch any TV tonight or until this is over," he replied. "What we did was mostly just to boost the moral of our own team. Don't worry about our national fans. I'll bet you 20 drais that if we win at least one game we'll prove that the so-called 'experts' are wrong and we'll gain a lot of new fans. If we can actually make it through the first round, we'll have every soccer fan in the country supporting us."

"Alright," Dawner smiled, "I'll take that bet, and I'll even give you 40 drais if we actually make it to the second round!"

"Sure thing, just don't stop trying hard or the bet is off." Sean doubted that his assistant coach would stop trying over a small bet like this, but he still needed to make sure.

DOOM IN SKY BLUE

Ediraf have pulled off the "footballing coup of the century" by taking on the contract of the Krytenian national football team after over a century of provision from homegrown outfitters JMC. Michael Dunsinane, representative of the Starblaydi company, was quoted as saying:

"This is one of the most significant deals in international football, and shows the prowess of ediraf in the world of kit manufacturing. We are not ones to gloat, but there will certainly be a fair few people at JMC choking into their morning coffees tomorrow."

KFA spokesman John Birnam-Wood, meanwhile, expressed the association's "disappointment" that negotiations could not be met, but did go on to say:

"We hope this new deal with ediraf will lead to great success for the Aces, and will lead to a long and fruitful relationship."

Nobody at JMC wished to comment.

SDOS SETS GOALS FOR WORLD CUP 44

The stunning championship of the Millionaires in Di Bradini Cup 7 has left the country a little more excited about the coming World Cup. While the Secristan Department of Sports (SDOS) realizes that qualifications remains a fantasy at this point, they aren’t about to tell the fans that. In fact, all throughout the country you will find various advertisements linking the Di Bradini Cup success to what should just be World Cup success. After all, the World Cup is going to be in the same country that the Young Millionaires took home their Di Bradini titles in. Creating a link to the Di Bradini teams were important for maximum revenue generation, says our SDOS spokesperson, Kate Simpson. “We want the fans to believe that we might have a chance to qualify so we can maximize the amount of pay-per-view telecasts that are purchased, and of course being able to set a price as high as possible for it. Also we want to maximize our profit potential in increasing the average bid price per seat at our home games.” Does she really believe that the team can qualify? “It is extremely doubtful, but you never know.”

Soon we will know who Secristan will be playing in their qualifying group. Last year the Millionaires were fortunate enough to draw Jeruselem, a country with a high level of prestige not only for the accomplishments on the pitch but for their activities off of it, as well as the star power of their national figureheads. What the Millionaires actually did in the games was meaningless. They had a great time at home treating the Princesses like the team moniker would expect, and then got treated very well when it was time to go to Jeruselem. Sure, they lost 6-0, but the memories of that game and the post-game get togethers more then made up for that score. The SDOS is very interested in finding out who their top ranked opponent will be, as some have different drawing power. Bring on Valanora? Sure! Losing 10-0 doesn’t matter. A record amount of pay-per-view purchases to watch the loss? That’s what matters. Our countries would draw more interest then usual too. Dancougar, Arroza, Newmanistan, Cafundeu and of course, Myedvedeya, would be very interesting opponents for us. What the SDOS doesn’t want are high-ranked duds on the schedule.

Will they win? Who cares. It’s all about making a profit. That’s why the SDOS enters the team. The players are here hoping to earn international contracts. Some of them already have them and are doing it for national pride, but others are still hoping for that big payday.

The groundkeeping staff at Plumtrees Park had finished removing the eight inches of snow that previously covered the pitch, and are now spreading several layers of straw matting to help insulate the ground and keep it dry.
"So you're absolutely sure the weather will stay dry from now until after the match?" Chief Ground-keeper 'Habarn Torr' (who is a 'Brock', i.e. anthropomorphic Badger) asked the Park's manager 'Barram o Harruror' (an Ursine). "I wouldn't like to think that we woke those boys up, and paid them overtime for this work, only to have the whole job be wasted..."
"I'm certain", Barram replied. "The shabears whom BAAS called in to help with this contest have communed with the spirits of Wind and Cloud, and assure me that we have at least four days before the next snowfall."

Meanwhile, about a mile away, the staff of the Hotel Exodus were busy preparing for the imminent arrival of Jeru FC's team. The manager, Sarnya Abramowirch is talking to her deputy -- and first cousin once removed -- Yrrsak Goldstone. (They are both Ursines, but are even more anthropomorphic in form than most members of that species...)
"Bedrooms ready, hopefully should be enough even though the visitors haven't yet said how many people to expect, check?"
"Check."
"International communication facilities ready and open, for the team and any journalists who accompany them here, check?"
"Check."
"Kitchens and dining room ready, with enough stores laid in to provide suitable menus if anything reasonable gets requested, check?"
"Check, basically, but the cooks would like more information about what's likely to be asked for. We know that this is a Human team, but has either BAAS or the 'Committee for The Strangers' told us yet whether they're Jewish or Christian or Muslim or what?"
"No, Yrrsak, unfortunately they haven't... and you can tell the cooks that they aren't the only people wanting to know, because great-uncle Morse says that if they are Jewish then he really wants to talk with them and learn what's been happening to The People elsewhere since his generation found refuge here ..."

And, over at the University's sports facilities, the Bear-Belles are getting in some last-minute practice...

Spirited Away

Krytenia striker Darren Scotland last night confirmed he was off to foreign shores last night, after lengthy contract negotiations with Emberton Reds fell through. The twenty-three year old had been chased by a host of Krytenian clubs, but in the end could not resist the lure of the Liga Starblaydia side Corinthian Spirits, who will sign him for a cut-price fee of just €K1m.

A LEGEND RETURNS

Oqueré, a induction in the Galaxiandan Hall of Legends, finally returns to his international and club teams. Defences were petrified last night, and caused Italy, the reigning world champions, to lose 4-2! And Oqueré Enterprises, his home buisness, donates $800 billion, almost a fifteenth of their profits.

Draw is now done, RP thread is now created, consider this thread closed.