NationStates Jolt Archive

BEHOLD:

I am Indie Boute, Spokesman for the Eternal Dictator Dolph Ziggler of The Theocracy of Raging Batshit.

I write to you on behalf of my Personal Saviour Dolph Ziggler to inform every single nation on this awful, sickening planet that we have entered your existence. For many years Our Lord has been hiding us from the evil all of you display.

We know you eat carrots.
We know you enjoy Adam Sandler movies.
We HATE your idea of world peace.

THERE IS NO PEACE WITHOUT YOUR ETERNAL GOD AND DICTATOR DOLPH ZIGGLER.

You will listen to me and understand why you must join us, or be forced to work in our Eyeball Plucking factories, the only industry on the island! We will force you to consume grasshopper and oatmeal stew! If you do not bow down to your GOD we will FORCE you to wear your underwear on your head, and there MUST be a fresh stain!

:hail:
Dolph Ziggler
:hail:

This has been a warning to all of you worthless minions.

OOC: Damn it. I fell off my chair laughing. Thank you for that.

IC:

We find your offer to be laughable. We do not know of this "Adam Sandler" and do not care what a nation that obviously has issues with sanity has to say, especially when that nation is much smaller than we are and cannot back up their threats.

Please, do yourself a favor and make the drugs your nation is using illegal immediately.

Empress Catalia and Emperor Solidrin of the Empire of Forensatha, of the House of Cats

damn....ive been trying to give the carrots and adam sandler movies up....but they are just too good!

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/fgnaffairs-newhead.gif

I find your proposal interesting. Will there be caek?

James Keebler
Document Disposal Technician, Second Class

P.S. In case you're wondering, my job is to shred paper.