NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/logos/nsoc/columbia3/

Capitalizt SLANI and Jasīʼyūn welcome the delegations arriving in Columbia, Unified Capitalizt States for the third summer Olympic Games. The forty-eight participating NOCs are:

Ad’ihan (ADN)
Allanea (ALL)
An Blascaod Mór (ABM)
The Archregimancy (ARC)
Ariddian Isles (ARI)
Asteran (KAS)
Baranxtu, Cikoutimi, and Otea (BCO)
Bears Armed (BRS)
Bluth Corporation (BLU)
Bulgislava (PRB)
Cafundéu (CAF)
Candelaria And Marquez (CAM)
Capitalizt SLANI (COM)
Coocoostan (COO)
East Ying (EYS)
Fujisawan Territories (FJT)
Gerainia (GRN)
Green Wombat (GWB)
Illrawq (AIQ)
Jasīʼyūn (JSY)
Kanji Starter (KJS)
Kelssek (KSK)
Kenavt (KEN)
Ketchupland (KET)
Kosovoe (KOS)
Krytenia (KRY)
Kura-Pelland (KPL)
Land de Wood (WOD)
Landau Institute (LID)
Maineiacs (MAI)
Montgisard (MGI)
Newmanistan (NEW)
Nuevos Aires (NSA)
Omigodtheykilledkenny (OMG)
Prux (PRX)
Qazox (QZX)
Roumberre (RMB)
San Adriano (SNA)
Sarviats (SRS)
Secristan (SEC)
Sorthern Northland (SNO)
Taeshan (TAE)
Unified Beretania (UBT)
Valanora (VAL)
Wentland (WLD)
West Pocono (WPC)
Xalostia (XAL)
Zwangzug (ZWZ)

Schedule
The opening ceremony will be on 2008–08–08; events will be held from 2008–08–09 to 2008–08–24. A schedule of events (http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/olympics/columbia3/eventschedule/) (193 KiB) is available, along with a list of events on each day (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13905633&postcount=107).

Questions and problems
If you need to ask about something or think I have made a mistaek [sic], please use this thread (or the signup thread, if appropriate)—if you TG me, I may miss it.

Links
Results thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=562535)
Signup thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=560269)
Roster thread (http://forums2.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=560270)

YES a mistake:

You don't have Prux (PRX) listed as a signed-up team.

My 3-letter intial is: Green wombat (GWB) and No it does not stand for George W. Bush.

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ATHLETE PROFILES
She's a fighter

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A fighter in more ways than one, the path leading to where Ahn Na-kon is today was by no means a clear one.

Ahn's family arrived in Kelssek in the middle of the winter of 1986 with $150 and a tenuous offer of work for her father when she was 6 years old. Standing on the docks in Kirkenes is one of her earliest memories.

"I was scared. Any kid who had just been plucked out of her home and travelled such a distance to this strange place would be."

Her father went to work at the same docks he'd arrived on. Her mother fretted about making the most of the small trickle of income to take care of the four Ahn children. Anything to do with education, however, became a top priority. They were pushed to do well in school, and it was in school that Na-kon discovered martial arts.

She remembers begging her parents for the money to enroll in the school's judo club.

"I felt that all the effort I put in to plead with them and the sacrifices they made, I owed it to them to put everything into it."

And look where it's led her: to her second appearance at the Olympics and the honour of carrying the Kelssek flag at the opening ceremony in Columbia next week. And although not a medal favorite, Ahn has been widely tipped as a potential dark horse in the event.

Explaining the decision, the Kelssek Olympic Committee said Ahn "embodied the Olympic spirit and the hopes and dreams that Kelssek represents." But Ahn says she never dared to dream of this.

"I'm just lucky to have gotten where I am. I count my blessings every day." she says.

"My father used to tell me, 'we're here because this country is where you can arrive with a little and it'll give you a lot', and I'm so privileged that I have got a lot from this country. In this small way I hope to pay it back."

QSPN.com/OLYMPIC COVERAGE

Has it been 4 years already?

Last time out, Qazox managed to win 6 medals, 2 of each kind. The only returning teams the podium are the Women's football team and Men's doubles tennis. The cycling team, due to the lack of support from the QOC and the timing of the next Tour de Qazox (ooc: it will start soonish) will not return.


The early medal favorites for the Delegation are:
Women's Football (Made last 2 Olympic finals, 1 gold, 1 silver)
Women's Marathon (Kylie Wasnikski is 5th ranked runner in World)
Men's Baseball: (WBC 6 champions)
Men's Tennis (singles): Clinton Few (ranked 4th in World, not competing in Wilbury championships to consentrate on Olympics)
Women's Tennis (singles): Serena Paden (ranked 7th in the world)
Triathalon (men): Kurt Pound (2nd ranked triathlete in World)
Triathalon (women): Kathrine Turlington (6th ranked triathlete in World)
Cliff diving (men): Juan de Leon (Best cliff diver in world) Will also be Flag Bearer for Delegation.

If all of these favorites medal, that will give Qazox 9 medals, and the goal is 10 for these games (even though Cliff diving isn't a medal sport, we're counting it anyway). We'll see you in a week from Columbia, Unified Capitalizt States.

YES a mistake:

You don't have Prux (PRX) listed as a signed-up team.
Oops, your post didn’t look like a signup to me. Got it now.

My 3-letter intial is: Green wombat (GWB) and No it does not stand for George W. Bush.
Fixed.

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IT’S TIME FOR THE OLYMPICS!

PINA (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/pina.html) brings you coverage.

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Mélanie Dupré (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/m_lanie_dupr.html): “. . .And on to sport now. Well, the Olympics are drawing ever closer, and most of the Ariddian Isles’ delegation have arrived in Columbia. We join our reporter John Fieldman (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/john_fieldman.html) there live. Hello, John. So what can we expect for the upcoming Games?”

Fieldman: “Hi, Mélanie. Well, the UCS are used to hosting big events by now, so we can expect well-run, spectacular Games. As you know, the most recent Summer Olympics were in Querzakhi, and the last Winter Games were in Keto. Those were good Games for Ariddia, the hosts did well too, there were very few glitches, and everyone praised the UCS for a great success. So yes, I think everyone is very optimistic. The greatest sports event in the world is set to go, and everything’s in place for a smooth start.”

Dupré: “I can see behind you it’s raining, a bit.”

Fieldman: “Yes, just a little. But it’s warm, too, very warm, so a bit of rain now and then is quite welcome. The weather is good and holding. It seems there’s nothing here to spoil the party.”

Dupré: “Now, these Games are going to innovate by including more demonstration events than ever before. . .”

Fieldman: “Yes. Yes, that’s right. There’ll be ten demonstration sports, ten officially that is, and countries including Ariddia are expected to hold a few more unofficially on the side. Ariddia, uhm, has sent teams for blind football and amputee football, for example, and they’re here in Columbia now. They won’t be competing at the actual Olympics, but there are hopes for a side competition. And I’m told they’ll be marching in with Team Ariddian Isles during the opening ceremony.”

Dupré: “The list of the ten official demonstration sports is coming up on the screen now. Can you tell us about summer vigil fasting?”

Fieldman: “Yes, that’s an event proposed by the Monastic Olympic Committee of the Archregimancy. Basically what it is is, they put you in a hut on your own at the start of the Olympics, and they see if you can stay there until the end, with no food, and actually no water either. If you can’t stay that long, of course, you’re out. The winner is the person who’s still there at the end and has lost the greatest percentage of body weight. I talked earlier to, uh, Julian Singh, who’s one of Ariddia’s two representatives in that event, and he told me it’s the only Olympic sport that involves just sitting around doing nothing.” (smiles)

Dupré: “I can think of a lot that are less painful, though.”

Fieldman: “Yes.” (laughs)

Dupré: “There’ll also be events for athletes with disabilities?”

Fieldman: “Yes! Demonstration events. The C.O.A. is crowing a bit about this; they’ve been campaigning for a long time for the recognition of Paralympic sports, along with the C.P.A., and they’ve managed to gather support for two events. So there’ll be wheelchair fencing and wheelchair racing. For Ariddia we have Lounglath Sirivonghanh and Marie Bellegarde in fencing, and Sarah Rollins and Kevin Lowe in racing, and they’ll be up against some tough competitors, from half a dozen countries or more in each sport. So everyone’s very pleased about that. Also, Ariddia is entering athletes with disabilities into events for able-bodied athletes. Mélanie Sandré (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/m_lanie_sandr.html) is back again in swimming, and Antoine Mercier will be there in the long jump. As a one-legged long-jumper he’s expecting, hopefully, a bit of publicity.”

Dupré: “Well that’s great, and we wish them all the best. But the Columbia Games will also introduce another novelty?”

Fieldman: “That’s right. The C.O.A. has been heaping praise on the organisers for opening up boxing to women, and synchronised swimming to men. For Ariddia we’ll have, uhm. . . We’ll have Aa Shey and Rosalin Gillen in boxing, and, uh, Jeremy Grover with Mustapha Kanu as the duet in synchronised swimming, for the men. And Grace Smith in women’s chess boxing. So there’s a lot of novelty to look forward to. Aa Shey (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/aa_shey.html), you may remember her. She tried to sign up for the first ever Summer Games, in Ashford, but she was turned down because boxing was only for men. Back then, the first call to abolish gender restrictions had come (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=11178030&postcount=26) from the Capitalizt Olympic Committee, and Ariddia supported it. A bit of communist / capitalist cooperation there, and today all the sports are open to both genders, thanks to the Capitalizt hosts. Shey is good, actually, she’s very good. She’s one of Ariddia’s main gold medal hopes here in Columbia.”

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Aa Shey is one of Ariddia’s strongest competitors.

Dupré: “Speaking of which, who else is there to watch out for from Ariddia? Or rather, I mean, from the Ariddian Isles?”

Fieldman: “Well, medal hopes. . . There’s quite a list. Ariddia won, uh, fourty-four medals in Querzakhi, including seventeen gold, so that’s the target to beat. We finished eighth on the medal table then, out of thirty-three countries, so that’s also the target to beat. Now, we’ve got Youssef Kassmba, in archery. Our only male archer. He won gold back in Ashford, with impressive style. He didn’t do so well in Querzakhi, he was knocked out in the third round, but he’s perfectly capable of winning gold again this time. He set the Olympic record in Ashford with 668 points, but that was smashed in Querzakhi, so he’ll have to do even better than that. He’s got a blog, you know, he’s got quite a few fans, and he says he’s ready. In training he hits 701 points. Whether or not that’ll be enough, we’ll see.

Someone you may not have heard of, in badminton, we have Jean-François Bornescu. He’s Ariddia’s top badminton player, these are his first Olympics, and there are high hopes for him too. Let’s say a gold medal wouldn’t be a huge surprise. Uh, in cycling, our best cyclists come from West Ariddia. Over there, you know, they have top training facilities. This is indoor cycling we’re talking about. Here in Ariddia we just haven’t got the facilities. So for West Ariddians, and of course everyone in the Ariddian Isles, the names to look out for are Andrew Hern and Angela Ellice. A telling sign is that they’ve got lots of sponsors back home, and as you know, in a capitalist country, the sponsors back the winners. So there are strong expectations there.

In diving, another name a lot of people may not have heard of is Ua Le. She’s from Ariddia, she’s 18, and she’s the top name in her sport in the Ariddian Isles. For the anecdote, she grew up in an Indigenous village, and she used to dive from trees into pools, natural pools I mean, a small lake, before she started proper training.

Then there are the big names of our athletes who are already famous. Christina Zhang is back in fencing, and that of course is great news. She was the Olympic champion in Ashford. In Querzakhi she lost her semi-final 14-15 to a fencer from Cafundéu, then lost the bronze medal match to Karen Fletcher of the UCS, which was a huge disappointment, but she’s capable of winning gold again.”

Dupré: “And I suppose the top two sports are judo and gymnastics?”

Fieldman: “Yes, absolutely. A lot of hopes resting there for Ariddia. Gymnastics and judo gave Ariddia seventeen medals in Ashford, and almost half of our fourty-four medals in Querzakhi, so they really are the Ariddian Isles’ specialist sports at the Olympics. Now, Vidic, Smithson and Mathisjen have retired, but most of our gymnastics champions are still there. The Golden Girls and, for the men, the Dream Team. If you’re Ariddian, then gymnastics has to be one of the Games’ highlights. Just as a reminder, in Ashford, the Golden Girls won gold in the team competition, with a really spectacular performance – one of the best moments in Ariddian Olympic history. They did the same again in Querzakhi, so now of course everyone wants them to do it three times running in Columbia. They’re the defending champions, and they’ll be tough for anyone to beat. The men, the Dream Team, did exactly the same in the team event: gold in Ashford, gold in Querzakhi. Jang, Gris, Andresen, Iu, Vaillant, Wal, Reed, Set, Mkrchyan, Mokhobo, Sis, Berthier. If anyone doesn’t know those names yet, the expectation is that they will soon. Abdel Andresen, by the way, will be Ariddia’s flag bearer at the Opening Ceremony. He’s won five Olympic medals, not to mention four Ylompic, and of course he’s back for more.”

Dupré: “And in judo?”

Fieldman: “In judo, some great names too. We’ve got At Suwil, Darren Foams, Joseph Kabir, Adam Jameson, Olivier Aleksanyan, plus Admina Mwakingwe and Julie Lanza for the ladies. . . They’ve all won medals before, and they’re all gold medal potential in Columbia.”

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Gymnastics and Judo are two of Ariddia’s strongest sports, with several gold medals expected.

Fieldman: “One last name I should mention is Christian Mohamed. He’s from West Ariddia, and he’s an absolute star over there. Has lots of sponsors, appears in lots of adverts. . . He’s representing the Ariddian Isles in both table tennis and tennis, and I think he’ll be disappointed if he doesn’t win medals in both. He’s certainly got the talent to get onto the Olympic podium. Oh, and last but not least, we’ve got football. A double gold in the men’s and women’s competitions isn’t a guarantee, of course, but it’s not in the realm of fantasy either.”

Dupré: “So, as you said, a lot to look forward to. Now, I know other countries’ lists of athletes aren’t all finalised, but who are some of the big names to watch out for outside the Ariddian Isles?”

Fieldman: “Well, the list would be a very long one, so I’ll just pick a few. I’m sure a lot of Ariddians will be interested in the achievements of the Kelssek team. One of their stars is Mark Nicholas, and he’s going in the high jump, and in the long jump. I’d be surprised if he didn’t win at least one gold. Although he’ll have Jun Numajiri, from the Fujisawan Territories, to contend with in the high jump. They, Kelssek, have got Pierre Desjarlais in diving, and they’ve got some good swimmers, a strong weightlifter, uhm. . . Yes, one name we’ll all be hearing soon is Scott Wesbot, representing Kelssek in judo in the men’s 66kg. That’s Darren Foams’ category, and by most accounts Wesbot is a little bit stronger than Foams, so our chap is going to have a struggle on his hands as he goes for gold. Any Wesbot versus Foams match should be a highlight of the judo competition.

The Archregimancy is strong in the steeplecheese, which doesn’t worry us, because we aren’t expecting any medals there. Krytenia is sending a team to the Olympics for the first time, and they’ve got some very good names in athletics. And cycling, they’re very good there. Watch out for Medvedev, Voight, Valjavic, Artemescu, Beltran. . . all going against our West Ariddians, Hern and Ellice. There’ll be a Krytenia versus Ariddian Isles clash on the cycling tracks, and it really could go either way. Oh, and Krytenians are expected to reap most of the gold medals in rowing.

Uhm, let’s see, what else. . . The ESF will be one of Ariddia’s strongest opponents in the men’s football. So if they meet in the final we should have a fascinating match. The same goes for Nuevos Aires, and Kosovoe. Kura-Pelland has strong names in sailing. . . For the Republic of Kanji Starter, it’s athletics. . . Same for Ketchupland, and Secristan. From Candelaria And Marquez, look out for Yoon Sung-Young in judo, in the men’s 73kg category. He’s one of the main threats to spoil Joseph Kabir’s gold medal hopes – although the Secristanis will also pose a nasty challenge, to all our male judoka. In gymnastics, they, Candelaria And Marquez have got Jennifer Smith, who’s also a threat. Their strongest gold medal hope, though, is in a category that doesn’t bother us. That’s Hannah Wisnieski, in sailing. Maineiacs’ strong suit seems to be cycling. Zwangzug are putting their hopes in baseball. Newmanistan can be expecting to dominate tennis. Boxing will be all about Newmanistan against Bears Armed, with Secristan snatching a fair number of medals too. Secristan can also be expected to take medals in basketball and baseball. Equestrian will pit Secristan against Newmanistan, as will swimming.

From Bulgislavia, Joni Olescu in badminton will be aiming to be a thorn in Jean-François Bornescu’s side, and could snatch the gold from him. The Fujisawan Territories are very strong in women’s archery. It’s quite possible that they’ll win gold, silver and bronze in that event. Lo Jiang Li, from Unified Beretania, will be hoping to mess up those plans, and she’s quite capable of winning gold.

From Bears Armed, Rrorhb o Greenwood and Jorro Bigbear will be Kasmba’s most dangerous opponents. But one of the Bears’ strongest events will be weightlifting. Kenavt’s Connor da Vincho will be a danger to our Christian Mohamed in table tennis. Wentland has some very good canoeists, cyclists. . . and should be the Games’ major power in wrestling.

The worst news for Ariddia, overall, is that there are some very good gymnasts coming to Columbia from around the world. From Bulgislavia, keep an eye on Teadora Urnesco, Valentina Rianu, Elena Çaulinu and Nadia Silivus. From the Fujisawan Territories, watch for Doppo Iwasa, Tokurin Chi, Tamehi Chi, Ajitawa Yukatsuko and Kikiwa Koriko. From Unified Beretania, there’s Dannie Boyle, Anastasia Kostrikova, Courtney Daugherty, Chrystal Le, Katie Yang. . . Lots of excellent gymnasts from Newmanistan and Secristan, too. Which is all very bad news for Ariddian supporters, but should provide a truly fantastic show for all lovers of gymnastics.

Still, the big question is, what can we expect from the athletes competing on home ground? We still know nothing about team UCS. The host country is keeping the details of its team under wraps.”

Dupré: “All right, thank you, John. To round off this early coverage, how are the Ariddian athletes adapting to the UCS?”

Fieldman: “Some have been here before, but for others it can be quite a culture shock. The values, the way of life here are very different. Very foreign. That’s why they arrived early, to get used to it before they have to compete. Accomodation in the Olympic village is very good, though, as is the food. Most of them won’t be doing any sight-seeing until after the competition, so that dampens the culture shock a bit.”

Dupré: “John, thank you very much. That concludes our first glimpse at the upcoming Olympics. Over the coming days of course we’ll be bring you more coverage, along with profiles of athletes, and interviews. Now on to the rest of the news, and–”

From MSPN:

Welcome to our net/vidscreen simulcast coverage of the III Olympic Summer Games from here in Columbia, Unified Capitalizt States. Expectations are high for the team that won the most medals at the II Summer Games in Querzaki. Spirits are high in the Olympic village, and our athletes are prepared and focused. Some of the competitors to watch are Swimmer Sheila Mitchell, winner of 2 gold medals at Querzaki, our Diving team, led by gold medalists Nuo Mei and Shang Zibo, our Men's Baseball team, hoping to better their bronze medal from four years ago, and Badminton gold medalist brothers Vibol and Sopheap Parmansupol. We spoke to MOC President Luther Goran earlier and he said he was "very confident" of our team's chances. Sheila Mitchell said in an interview that she was "proud and thrilled" to be carrying the Tie-dyed Flag at the Opening Ceremonies. Also worth watching this year are several demonstration sports making their first appearance at these games, including gridiron football, for which our team is made up of some of the finest players in the MFL, Wheelchair Racing and Wheelchair Fencing, Cliff Diving, and one of the most unusual events this reporter has encountered: Summer Vigil Fasting, an event based on an Orthodox religious ritual where the object will be to lose the most weight without losing consciousness. The event was proposed by the team from the Archregimancy, so we can count on the return of MOCTA spokesman Fr. Vasily the Heavily-Accented (as well as the re-emergence of the popular "Is Outrage!" t-shirts). MSPN hopes to convince the recalcitrant Vasily into giving an interview. We did speak to our entrant in the event, Spiros Mantakis, a seminary student from the Boston area. "This will be a way for me to simultaneously show my devotion to my calling and to bring glory to my team and my nation." said Mantakis. We wish him, and all our competitors well.


OOC: I will be moving soon, so I will be missing some events around the 15th (give or take). I hope to be back before the end.

Our Empire would like to join, Massvic (Msv)

Like most communist states Bulgislavia had a harsh sporting system where children as young as 3 were assigned a sport and taken to special academies to practice thier sports for up to 16 hours a day and are only able to see thier family 2 times a year. Gymnastics was a high priority for Bulgislavia and this Olympics was expected to be the best the small stalinist regime wanted

Teadora Urnesco
Valentina Rianu
Elena Çaulinu
Nadia Silivus

Were the best gymnasts in Bulgislavia. the oldest being 19 the youngest being 14.

In the Litharisa Gym in the eastern city of Craasi some party members, Comrade Leader Ion Milencu and his wife Irena Milencu were sitting watching a performance

There were 4 balance beams all parrallel to each other. The four girls were standing at the end of each of the four beams ready to mount. It was a pre-olympics performance for the great leadership to view.

They all mounted the beams in unisen and did the exact same robot perfection on the balance beam. magnificent manouvers, flips, splits and handstands, contorting themselves on the beam insync with eachother.

Then they all did a perfect dismount in unison. After this the party leadership watching stood to thier feet and began clapping in unison.

The four girls then gave a communist salute to Ion and Irena and then approached then where they got to shake thier hands and

Ion then spoke

"As a proud Bulgislavian I an very looking foward to seeing our athletes perform at this Olympics with our fine athletes representing our nation well!"

The hall then again began clapping in unison.......

For more information on the Bulgislavian Sporting system

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=548259&highlight=Bulgislavia

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OOC: Roumberre signed up (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13831652&postcount=39), too, with the three-letter code RMB. I'll get their list of entries posted either today or Monday.

(Sorry about the delay: I've [a] got relatives visiting town, & [b] concentrated on getting Bears Armed's entries sorted out first...)

My nation was also overlooked. West Pocono. (Not "east" please, we only post as this because of the jolt bug).

I do intend on having a delegation signed up by the cutoff time.

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Check out our special Olympics site at KBC Online (http://kelssek.tripod.com/kbc/columbia08/) for TV schedules, news and the medal tally.

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COLIN CHILLIAD - WATER POLO
August 2, 2008

We checked into our digs at the athletes' village today after a hell of a flight during which the pilot seemed intent on finding every bit of turbulence he could subject us to. The camaraderie is really exciting and I'm looking forward to some great times in the downtime we can steal between training sessions and all. There's my teammates, of course, but I made a lot of friends last year in Querzakhi who are also back this year and it'll be fun to get together again.

We're going for our first training session tomorrow evening, our coach told us to work off the jet lag. He suggested keeping awake until a decent bedtime with coffee. I usually slamclick when I go on trips like this but I'll give it a try - not like my usual method works so great anyway. Hence why I'm here typing away while my head screams at me to go to bed already.

Of course the pressure is on us to defend the gold now. Kura-Pelland seem like our strongest challengers, and of course our old friends and neighbours Coocoostan, but I'm confident we can retain the gold. There aren't a whole lot of teams out there this time, too, but no one is expecting winning Olympic gold to be easy - especially doing it twice in a row.

OLYMPICS PREVIEW in the Daily Kangaroo
--------------------------------------

Kura-Pelland have sent an impressive delegation of well over 300 athletes to the Colombia Olympics, and are targeting a minimum of 13 gold medals and 37 medals in total from them.

Perhaps the most high-profile medal contender is Tim Aorangi, who will be going for gold in both the 5,000m and 10,000m. His sprint finish is seen as a particular attribute, and in an otherwise weak track and field team, huge hopes are placed on him. Other potential track stars include Dominic Belletti in the 400m hurdles, Mandee Fischer in the 100m and 200m, Melinda Tolksteen in the 100m hurdles and Keith Walsh in the 400m, but they are outside medal contenders at best, and even less hope surrounds the field athletes, only shotputter Denise Muller a remotely serious contender.

After their World Cup semi-final appearance, hopes will be high for an Olympic team led by Norbert Fiero, who was a standout player in Daehanjeiguk, but competition is set to be fierce. The womens' team, led by the photogenic and by implication high-profile Laura Cottee, are also outside medal contenders.

But the gold rush is likely to come from sailing, taekwondo, synchronised swimming and weightlifting. In particular, womens' weightlifting is very strong - pardon the pun - in Kura-Pelland, with hopes high for Krista Halford, Mary-Ann Spektor, Jo Durham, Fiona Donn, Tanya Clinton and Ann McCain. In fact, all twelve competitors are expected to pick up a medal of some colour. The men are expected to do almost as well, with the 62kg and 69kg categories filled by two world-class lifters - Barry Omagh and Scott Smith in the 62kg, Scott Dixon and Bill Oakley at 69kg.

But it's the women who've gained the attention, mostly because of the 'unfeminine' nature of what they do. Halford - who competes in the 48kg class and stands at a petite 1.55m - has appeared on national television on several occasions recently to attempt to set the record straight. She pointed out that the Kura-Pelland Association of Weightlifting (K-PAW) refuse to enter competitors to the unlimited male and female weight categories, believing these are the most at risk of doping offences. She also spoke at length on 'the pink weight paranoia', the fear of women lifting heavy weights. 'I'm still tiny, even though I'm capable of lifting double my bodyweight. And the other girls on the team aren't that different.' With the incidence of eating disorders rising massively in Kura-Pelland, the government are taking action, and they have praised Halford, who is seen as a hugely positive role model.

Interestingly, and by means of contrast, the entire female gymnastics team were withdrawn, although this only included five athletes anyway and none were seen as medal contenders. One of them, Kathy Orton, has had much-documented battles with anorexia. She is the same height as Halford, 1.55m. She weighs just 40kg. Two days after the Olympic withdrawal she was hospitalised for the second time this year. It is rumoured Kathy's parents pressured the Gymnastics Organisation of Kura-Pelland (GO K-P) into the withdrawal of their female competitors, leaving them with just three Olympians - rhythmic gymnast Stephen Court and two trampolinists, Thomas Lewis and Jamie Person. It is believed that at least part of the intention is to reduce media coverage of the gymnastics in Colombia, although the controversy surrounding the withdrawal has seemingly made that counter-productive.

Back to the other end of the body image controversy, hopes are high for super-heavyweight boxer Zoe Richardson. Read that again. Zoe's build could not contrast more with Halford or Orton - she stands 1.84m tall and weighs in at 101kg. 'In theory I'm near enough obese,' she says. 'But try calling me fat. You'll regret it.' She's certainly a powerful athlete and is one of the favourites in her division. Hopes are also high, incidentally, at the other end of the weight category, for the (1.51m, 45kg) light-flyweight Ellie Yan.

No body image controversies to deal with for the canoeists, just their competitors and the vagarities of the weather. 'The conditions in Colombia will definitely have an effect, and whoever adapts best will win,' claimed Oscar Ankovich, one of the favourites in the C-1 category over 500m and 1,000m. 'Especially in the slalom.' That's a field in which Sonny Mashton (mens' K-1), Jane Harrison (womens' C-1) and Christina Oatley (womens' K-1) are all medal contenders.

The weather conditions are certain to be critical in the sailing, but Hannah Paulsgrove - hot favourite for two-person dinghy gold in tandem with Gillian Wells, and set for an epic confrontation with the Candelariasian Hannah Wisnieski in the one-person event - is unpertubed. 'I know I can win regardless,' she claims. Ariddian sources see the sailors as the pick of the Kura-Pellandi delegation.

Similar optimism surrounds triathletes Bill Kingston and Idina Brightman, and the water polo teams are also favourites for gold. All eight members of the taekwondo squad - particularly Heath Clifton in the mens' 68kg class - are expected to gain medals. Finally, hopes are high for the synchronised swimmers, race walkers Keith Yaoragi and Alice Kinn, badminton players Darren Lindfield and Richard Vallier, and to a lesser extent for Mick Teyaratis in various swimming disciplines, most notably the 200m individual medley.

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A Real Allanean Heroine
NRA.org.all news blog


Some people think real heroes can be only found in uniform – soldiers, police, firefighters, EMTs. Some people think that being a hero is something accessible only to some select few. But we at the National Rifle Association of Allanea believe anybody can be a hero. You just need a strong soul, and a determination to continue, to do your best – no matter what odds are arrayed against you.

Hitomi Palmer is an Allanean heroine. At age eight, Hitomi was caught in a freak car accident. Her uncle, who was driving, was killed on the spot, and Hitomi received a serious spinal injury and broke three ribs. Even though the surgeons at Heston-City Central Hospital managed to save her life, they believed the young girl would remain crippled for life, and certainly unable to succeed in sports.

They were wrong. Young Hitomi made a spectacular recovery. Within six months of the accident she started walking again. For her ninth birthday, her father bought her a .22 rifle of her own. At age 14th, Hitomi Palmer beat the odds – and the other competitors - in the Heston-City Olympic Rifle Championship for Girls.

From there, her progress was sure and speedy. By the age of nineteen, she has brought home multiple trophies and medals from competitions across Allanea – including the prestigious Junior Oaklie Cup. Now she is ready for what might turn out to be her crowning achievement – defense of the nation's flag at the Third Olympiads.

Young Miss Palmer's rifle is a custom-adjusted Stratosphere Six, produced by the Fitzsimmons Arms Company and modified for her at the Orville and Wilbur Gunsmithing House in Heston-City. We remind our readers that Miss Palmer is a Life Member of the National Rifle Association of Allanea.

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Hit 'Em, Mel!
Boxing Illustrated Magazine

If any of you have been living in a cave for the last two years (instead of doing the right thing and keeping up your subscripon to Boxing Illustrated), the adorable lady in the picture is Melissa Wright, one of the rising stars of Allanea's boxing. Competing in the Bantamweight category, Melissa is quite possibly one of the most talented boxers in the Olympiad entire – and we're not just saying that because she endorsed our magazine. Nor is it because Melissa is steaming hot.

The fact, dear readers, is that outside of doing a series of photographs for the Men's Monthly (including a very daring one involving that magazine's junior graphics editor), appearing in a lingerie ad campaign and – again – being generally steaming hot and proud of it, Miss Wright also does some boxing.

Having come almost completely out of nowhere to triumph in the Roanoke Cup two years ago, Melissa has since picked up the Cute Bunny Burger Sponsorship and advanced to win the Allanean Square Cup – the nation's most prestigious award in boxing.

Now she's ready to kick some butt in the Olympics – and hopefully show us a glimpse of hers, too. It's quite a nice one, by the way.

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The pool heats up
SATURDAY, AUGUST 2, 2008 | SPORTS | by NIGEL THORNLEY

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Jean-Andrè Gilcaux swims the backstroke at the Kelssek national championships, which doubled as Olympic trials.


Vernon Obikwelu. Larry Ferrin. Jozenna Nai. Bakomon Aro. Carrie Stefansson. And pretty much all of Newmanistan.

Names that are going to have Kelssek's swimmers looking left and right nervously on the starting blocks. Despite a dominating performance at the last Olympics in Querzakhi, Kelssek's largely-unchanged swimming team will know not to get overconfident as the pool gets more competitive than ever.

While no one contests that this could be the time for Phillipe Destry to make history with his bid for an unprecedented nine medals, and that the crowds at the swimming complex will be able to hum the Kelssek anthem by the end of the competition, no one is saying that it'll be easy. Not if the swimming teams put out by nations like Newmanistan, Krytenia, Secristan or the Fujisawan Territories have anything to say about it.

Try telling that to Kelssek's team, though. Particularly the Destry brothers. The elder Bernard, 23, is ready to give an earful to anyone who is writing off the success at Querzakhi as unrepeatable.

"More competititors just cranks up the motivation for me," Bernard insists. "It'll be great to watch. Everyone is going to be absolutely swimming their guts out."

Phillipe, meanwhile, is spurred on by the disappointing (by his standards, obviously) haul he took in Querzakhi. "I'm still learning and I'm still growing. To just improve, to show that I'm getting better, especially when everyone's saying it's going to be so hard, that's what I want to do."

Modest words from 21-year old Phillipe, while he takes ambitious actions. Remembered for the way he made a hyped-up contest between him and Romario Hadid in the 200m butterfly at Querzakhi into a no-contest, he wants more than to defend the three golds he won, he's angling to make history with nine events. Winning six medals would make him Kelssek's most-decorated athlete along with Jessica Langton. Winning nine would be unprecedented.

Ah, and don't think we've forgotten the women's team. Jessica Langton was on the podium at every event she swam. She doesn't expect any less of herself at Columbia.

"Obviously I've set high expectations for myself. Honestly, though, when I see how tough the field is for the guys, I take my hat off to them." she says. Asked if she can surpass her previous haul, she winks and says, "Why on earth not?"

The one major change to the team could have some impact, however. Jean Boisvert's retirement has left the team without his calm, experienced, level-headed presence. The mantle of leadership has fallen to Brent Fowles, who is unfazed by the task ahead.

Asked if he thinks it likely the team will surpass its last performance, scooping up 9 golds, 7 silvers and 6 bronzes, Fowles is quick to emphasise that it's not about how many medals the swimmers pick up.

"The Olympics is not about that and it should never be. Some like to think of it as a national pride thing and some nations go to really sad extremes to train Olympic champions, but that's all wrong. This is all about the power of sport to bring people together and we can wave flags around and sing anthems, but in the end it's about the ideals of fairness and friendly competition, it's about people coming together regardless of nation."

OLYMPIC PREVIEW

Pocono City, Newmanistan- In a few short days, the Empire’s greatest athletes will be heading to the Unified Capitalizt States to participate in the third Olympiad. We’d venture to imagine that every kid growing up has, at some point, dreamed of representing their nation, realizing Olympic glory, and then standing there on the podium as your flag rises to the top, centering two others, with your national anthem being played. For most of us, this is just a dream. But for a select few, it is indeed a reality. Soon, they will be wearing the sky blue and white with pride and competing against the best athletes in the world. Many of the nations we have some familiarity with, either in competing against them in some tournament, or just being in the same competition as them before. Others are countries completely new to us, so we are eager to see their best in action, while at the same time, give them a glimpse of Newmanistanian pride.

There are many events, and the Empire has sent the maximum number of delegates to Columbia. Let’s take a look at each event and diagnose what we feel are Newmanistan’s chances:

Athletics- Men’s- Track Events: Here, we expect to show some speed, with John Van Allen in the 200 meters being our best chance at a gold medal. Van Allen, however, is participating in a handful of other events, and he could make some noise in the 100 meters as well. It’s possible that you’ll see Newmanistan represented in the some of the final races, but this isn’t exactly where we are expecting to boost our medal count. No, we didn’t forget to enter anyone in the 50k Walk, or however long it is. We’re still trying to comprehend how walking is a sport.

Athletics- Men’s- Field Events: It’s no secret that these events are not popular in the Empire. We have entrants, but if any of them win any kind of medal, it would be an upset.

Athletics- Women’s Track Events: Bring on the golds!! Ok, so maybe we’re getting a little too excited, but the fact is that Newmanistan absolutely must be considered one of the biggest threats for gold in these events. Michelle Rancourt, Brittany M. Wright (believe it or not the Bluth Corporation also has a Brittany Wright in the same events!), and Danielle Giles all have the potential to win gold, and could even sweep the podium in an event. Then when it comes to them in the relays, they have to be considered one of the favorites. In any case, these events will receive some of the highest ratings throughout the Empire.

Athletics- Women’s Field Events: As with the men, when these events are going on, watch another sport.

Badminton- Well, we have some people who are “ok”, so Newmanistan will probably see players make it out of the first round, and perhaps the second. However, don’t look for much more then that. Maybe Janelle Rogers and Susan Carpenter can sneak away a doubles medal.


Baseball- Newmanistan expects to be one of the biggest contenders for gold, in both genders. It;s not arrogance, but as we showed in World Baseball Classic 7 as a first time entrant that made it all the way to the final, we know how to play this game and play it real well. On the diamond, therefore, anything other then a medal winning performance will be a disappointment, with gold hoped for. Especially on the women’s side.

Basketball- Well, we got to the final of the International Basketball Championships, did we not? Obviously that means nothing here, but our group of fearless three point shooters are ready to try and take care of unfinished business and pick up a gold medal. As is the case with baseball, anything that doesn’t end up in a medal will be considered underachievement.

Boxing- Here, depending on gender and weight class, the Empire hopes to pick up medals. Many talented boxers are entered and many of them could have the ability to bring home a medal. The biggest favorites look to be Brian Gallows, Kevin Scott, and Andrew Payne on the men’s side along with Lauren Courtney, Ashley Nicholson, and Shannon Marshall on the women’s side. After them, we have even more potential to medal. This is seen as one of our better events.

Canoeing- Some people entered because they begged the Newmanistan Olympic Committee. And the NOC had a few spots left. Unless you’re related to them, skip this events. You may want to skip them even if you are related.

Cycling- Recently, cycling in Newmanistan has picked up. We may remember way back when we participated in our regional Olympiad that we were bringing up the rear more often then not. But gradually, we have seen improvement on the bikes. 29-year old Michelle Patrick is responsible for the rise in popularity in the sport, and she could even get us something that four years ago may have seen unheard of. A cycling gold!

Diving- We have people entered. But the only diving they’ll be doing is down the leaderboard.

Equestrian- Equine sports have always been big in Newmanistan, and it’s not a surprise that we are one of the top threats to win, with our One Big Island neighbors from Secristan likely our biggest threats. Let’s face it, the breeding in the Empire is superior to most, and that’s what these events come down too. The riders are well experienced and composed and ready to demonstrate to the world what we have known for years.

Fencing- Somewhat of a surprise given that this sport isn’t as unpopular in the Empire as it may appear by the athletes being sent over. Perhaps an increasing in funding is needed to make Newmanistan respectable with swords.

Field Hockey- If it’s hockey, and it’s not on ice, we don’t care. Though we have teams in it anyway.

Gymnastics- So, what’s this I hear about Ariddia? They have experienced Olympic success before, but that came without Newmanistan entered. Now, with our athletes set to clash in Columbia, the fans will see a great show, without a doubt. In its regional Olympiad, Newmanistan swept the podium in several events, so our athletes are coming here with a ton of confidence. This is moreso the women then the men, but even the men have a shot. They have seen what Ariddia has done in the Olympics before from a long distance, and are now very excited to go head to head with them. We don’t know what athletes will win, but in the end, the biggest winners will be the fans of the sport.

Handball- It’s not that popular, which is a pity, because every time it is on, it always seems to capture a lot of attention. We could have a shot. Watch at least one game.

Judo- Maybe a few first round victories, but not much else.

Modern Pentathlon- Maybe if someone gets really, really lucky.

Rowing- Next?

Sailing- Given that we’re a coastal nation, shouldn’t we have been better in this? Oh well.

Shooting- Newmanistanian athletes won’t be amongst the top contenders, but they may be in firing range of the lead on the last days of each event. Tara Kelly gives us an outstanding shot to medal in the Women’s trap, double trap, and skeet. On the men’s side, Tom Parsons and Brian Dawe, who are also each policemen, have a chance as well.

Swimming- We love swimming, can’t you tell? The list of talented athletes in which we are sending to Columbia in all of these events is very impressive, and we expect to win several medals. There is not any event in which we feel that we are weak in. Furthermore, swimmer Jennifer Conlin is someone who could pick up as many as nine medals, which would be an impressive individual feat. Jennifer is one of Newmanistan’s flag bearers as well during the opening ceremony. Be sure to watch every swimming event.

Synch. Swimming- This never really caught on in Newmanistan.

Table Tennis- Maybe Tom McHale can get a few breaks. But anything here is very doubtful.

Taekwondo- Not gonna happen. Hideki Yokoshima may win a match, though.

Tennis- We expect to contend, on both the men and women’s side. We are best in singles play, and look to get at least one medal, if not more, out of it.

Triathlon- Our athlete’s will probably be somewhere in the middle of the pack.

Volleyball- The indoor teams expect to have a good showing, but the competition here looks to pretty good, so you never really know. And then of course, you have the always popular beach volleyball, in which Brittany Phillips and Katie McAllister look for some redemption after a somewhat disappointing showing in the Qazoxian Sports Festival. Michelle Clausen and Courtney Larson also have something to prove, as in, that they should have been the two that went to Qazox!

Water Polo- Perhaps both teams will be a threat in the later stages and make noise for a medal, but one should not be expected.

Weightlifting- The fact is, our strongest men play other sports, leaving the exclusive weightlifters very subpar in comparison to their peers.

Wrestling- Maybe a first or second round victory for most of our athletes, but don’t expect much else. If they are drawn against a bear, by the way, they’ll likely lose earlier.

Demonstration Sports:
American Football- Who’s the host of World Bowl I & II again? We don’t see Dancougar or Arroza entered, so maybe we have a shot at gold!

Bocce- I hear we have people entered.

Chess Boxing- Yes, we do in this too.

Cliff Diving- Michael Driver and Ashley Davies could have a shot here folks. Ashley performs better when drunk, by the way.

Croquet- Oh boy, croquet....

Lacrosse- We are the best in the world!!! Alright, well, we think we are anyway.

Summer Vigil Fasting- This is anyone’s guess. But we believe in our representation!

Tug of War- Nothing like a good ol’ fashioned tug of war, is there? Hey, we might have a shot.

Wheelchair Fencing- They will probably do better then our regular fencers.

Wheelchair Racing- Didn’t have a lot of people come forward to enter.

McOwen named Ad’ihani flag-bearer

The National Olympic Committee for the Ad’ihani Islands (Comité national olympique pour les îles ad’ihanais; COIA) today confirmed that Ad’ihan's sole women's tennis representative, Martina McOwen, will be the Ad’ihani flag-bearer at the opening ceremony for the upcoming Games in Columbia, Unified Capitalizt States.

As Ad’ihan will be the first nation to march in unless another nation with a name alphabetically preceeding Ad’ihan enters a delegation, McOwen will become the first woman flag-bearer to lead out the parade of nations in the history of the NS Olympics.

McOwen, 24, from Dalinn, Barrier Island, is taking part in the women's singles in tennis, one of just eight individuals from the islands who will be representing Ad’ihan in Columbia. Four teams of 20 to 23 — men's baseball, men's field hockey, women's softball and men's water polo — are also making the journey to Columbia in Ad’ihan's colours of green, navy, and sky blue.

COIA has also announced the appointment of national football team manager Luke Evans as the chef-de-mission for the delegation, despite there not being an Ad’ihani entry in association football and the fact that Evans, who is a naturalised Ad’ihani, was not born in the islands.

Evans said he had already met with the eight individuals representing Ad’ihan in sixteen events, and told reporters he expected to meet with each of the four other teams before leaving for Columbia. "Our target, for our first Games, is to win five medals. It doesn't matter what colour the medals are," he added.

Meanwhile, there has been minor controversy after COIA confirmed that Ad’ihan's four athletics representatives — Julian Crowley, Michael Riley, Dani Thomas and Julia Damon — would not be staying in the Olympic Village. The Chief of Media Communications at COIA, Ernest Plenty, suggested that the athletes would be better served in their preparations "by staying in Ad’ihan and flying out only for their events, staying in hotels while in Columbia." They will, however, be present at the Opening Ceremony, he confirmed.

You forgot me, I signed up for Association Football [Soccer] at the last minute, my 3 letter abreviation is EYS, and here is my Football [Soccer] team:
------------------------------
East Yingonite National Football (Soccer) Team. [Using a PSTI of 1-100 [[Player Skill Totaled Index]] In order of First choice to last choice in each category
------------------
Tactical Postion 3-4-3
----------------------------------------------
Goal Keepers:
#1, Gog Ming: 90
#23, Horace Copt: 88 [Sub
#42, Joa Ming: 85 [Sub]
#78, Sing-Sing Jong 85 [Sub]
#97, Ko Ming-Yang [RES] 80
#67, Shogun Losim [RES] 78
.........................................................
Defenders:
#9, Hing Faulk: 89 [Center Defense]
#12, Joshua Kahn: 88 [Right Defense]
#14, Ko Ming Shau: 88 [Left Defense]
#59, Longau Sip 88 [Sub]
#76, Hong Mii 79 [Sub]
#89 Shogun Loshimin 69 [Sub]
........................................................
Midfielders:
#10[Star of the Team]***Hang Zike-Tau**** 93 [Center attacking Mid]
#11 Sang Long: 87 [Right Winger Mid]
#13 Shogun Heee: 85 [Left Winger Mid]
#19 Hing Hing 89 Center Defending Mid
#15 Benzema arim 79 [RES]
#16 Long Shin 78 [RES]
........................................................
Attackers
#20 Alling Mo 86 [Left Striker]
#99 Hosh Mig 87 [Right Striker]
#8 Gigi Monk 88 [Center Mid-Forward] (On the same 'line' as Zike-Tau, so kindof a mid, but still has very short defensive runs, unlike Zike Tau)
Hoji Mishibuu 84 [Sub]
.................................................................................................... .................
So We have on Defense:
A strong Goalie, but semi-strong defense that can easily be broken down by a strong offense. Midfield runs extensive Defensive runs to the back to take part of stopping the ball. Goalie is weak under enormous pressure, and usually breaks "the brick wall" on the last penalty kick. With morally shifting defensive wingers, it is easy to make a run on the sides, if midfielders havent already covered them. With Weak Sides, during defensive runs, midfielders focus on closing the gap between the players and the touch line. Zike-Tau makes a defensive run into the penalty area. A trustworthy old salt of the trade, is East Ying's own defensive sub, Longau Sip. He has been playing for East Ying's teams since he was 6. He is usually put on as a winger and sometimes as a CMFD, which he was born to play. He is called the safety man for his tendancy to make amazing plays when East Ying is down by more than two. A shifty figure is Ko Ming Shau, who is inconsistent, but because of his amazing ability to get the ball and 'magically' get it upfield, he has been added to the main lineup. Although unliked by everyone in the proffesional circles, he still makes a wonderful adition to the team chemistry. Joshua Kahn is a player added to the sawuad for a reason, he can tackle. Although usually never passing, he charges forward and doesnt stop, which usually means a throwin for East Ying somewhere on the other team's half. His ability to charge makes him a good player, but he has been in and out of the squad due to his inconsistency to perform under pressure. His spot in the Olympic squad was granted by the coach, who thought that this tournament would improve is playing.

So We have on Mid:
After amazing scouting over the nation by top class recruiters, Zeke-Tau was uncovered playing in a U16 Soccer tournemant in the slum city of Hag-Ki. He was immeadiately recruited to an early addition to the East Ying team. Although mocked by profesional players at the time, he turned the crowd against his mockers after scoring 125 goals in his second season for his club. Immeadiately after that, as captain of East Ying, he took East Ying to World Cup glory in its 2nd participation, and after a harsh battle against Pac Italia for the next world cup, lost and went to the Consselation match, where Zeke-Tau immeadiatly scored 2 goals, and with the help of attackers, scored 2 more, winning the game for East Ying. Amazingly, Zeke-Tau turned 18 3 months ago, making himself the youngest player to be the captain of East Ying. Although consistently upset about his position as midfield, he stills scores over 120 goals a season, and most recently scored 2/3 of the goals for his club, Fonhitau FC. He his considered the best player in the world as of the moment, and has the highest ranking for any player in East Ying. He is a crucial element to the attacking, and scores an average of a goal a game. He alone is the icon of the Yingonite Team. Then as Center Defending mid, we have a fast moving new recruit who is being upgraded to Center Midfield for the olympics specificly to tag along with Zeke-Tau, who is extremely fond of playing with noneother than; Hing Hing. Although ranked 89, he is ranked by most people as 85. His glorification as Zeke's twin has pushed him up to 89. Being the same age as Zeke-Tau, the often chat and like to move the ball up together, passing and dribbling. On Wings, players are semi strong, and mostly sit around in the corners waiting for the ball so they can cross, which Zeke-Tau finds quite handy. They are the best kept secret of the Yingonite team, and although maybe the worst, they are quite impressive with their ability to move up and down the pitch and to intercept passes and crosses. Their ability to pass and cross also makes them vital to offensive runs. The midfield acting like a brick wall, defenders have been recruited weak and made strong, because of the fact the midfield is and will always be the heart and strength of the Yingonite team.

On Attackers:
The heart of the team morale comes from someone not usually referenced as an attacker... Gigi Monk. His ability to cheer on the team makes him 2nd in line to be the captain. His ability to work with the plans of other players also makes him a real player on the field. His passing and heading is weak, yet he continues to practice, and although 23, still has 18 year old perfection in him. Before Zeke, he was the star of the team, and although now nullified by rising stars on the team, he continues to perform, although what he gives is not what most board directors want to see. The Coach and manager continue to push for his spot in the Olypmics, which is guaranteed almost. The forwards are always shooting, although not on target. Most of the time, their goals are assist. The striking power of the strikers is completely horrid. As soon as they get the ball, they stride into the penalty area and shoot it wide, completely ignoring Monk, Zeke-Tau and Hing Hing, who beg for the ball in great shooting positions. Our sources predict that Monk will be put as Center Striker, instead of what he is now.


(Gigi Monk is Center Attacker, and two 20 year olds, Hojo Mong and Liland Mose have been added to the right and left wing attackers, Mong has a PSTI of 89 and Mose has PSTI of 85, although he has a better foot for striking, and has better finishing, but lacks in the ability to move quickly.



GIGI MONK WILL BE THE FLAG BEARER DURING THE CEREMONY.

If need be that i need to sign up for more events, it will be tennis, cycling and Pole Vault, and track and field

MILLIONAIRES LOOK FOR SUCCESS IN CAPITALIZT STATES

Oh, doesn’t the Unified Capitalizt States have such a great ring to it. Here we are going to a nation of outstanding business ideals and profit making, it is pure capitalism at it’s best. There aren’t many nations out there that we can say are deserving to host such an amazingly large event, but a nation of brilliant economic principles like this one definitely is one of them that is worthy. I’m sure our Millionaires will have just as good of a time on their off days as they will on event days in a nation like this, as they flaunt their wealth along the streets of Columbia.

We are sending a total of 495 delegates to the Capitalizt States, just a smidgeon under the limit of 500, as not all events were able to find bidders. In other countries, they make you have athletic talent to realize your Olympic dreams. We realize that many people out there would love to participate in the olympics, but they don’t have the athletic ability necessary. Other nations force their athletics to undergo an exhausting series of olympic trials for the honor to represent their country. That’s not the case in Secristan, where athletic talent is nice, but if you want to be an olympian, all you have to do is purchase your spot, and outbid others who may want to take it from you. The bidding has concluded, and the Secristan Department of Sports has declared profits to have far exceeded their expectations. Congratulations to them, it really is quite an honor. In several events, Secristan did see highly skilled athletes be the highest bidders and therefore they will have a chance to win medals in those events. Athletics, Equestrian, Judo, Swimming, and of course, Gymnastics look to be the events in which Secristan will have the most success based on the people that will wear Secristani green. Gymnaists Stacie Connelly and Ashley Jacobs will also have an additional honor as they will be the flagbearers during the opening ceremonies. Not many athletes remembered to place a bid for that, and Connelly and Jacobs were the ones that one out. Jacobs likely using money she has earned in the countless endorsement deals she has throughout the country. Then, there are some other sports, like diving and weightlifting, where the high bidders were likely just people who wanted to go to Columbia. How else can Jeff Garrier be explained in weighlifting. The man can barely lift his remote control. Garrier did say later that he clicked on the wrong event when placing his bid, and that he meant to bid on badminton.

We’ll see how many of these people can actually win medals. The SDOS has stated that they will refund an athlete 50% of their bid to represent the country if they win a gold, 33% if they win a silver, and 20% if they win a bronze. So, there will be plenty of incentive for them to do well.

Our Empire would like to join, Massvic (Msv)
You need to enter events according to the instructions in the signup thread (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=560269) in order to participate.

OOC: Roumberre signed up (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13831652&postcount=39), too, with the three-letter code RMB. I'll get their list of entries posted either today or Monday.

(Sorry about the delay: I've [a] got relatives visiting town, & [b] concentrated on getting Bears Armed's entries sorted out first...)
My nation was also overlooked. West Pocono. (Not "east" please, we only post as this because of the jolt bug).

I do intend on having a delegation signed up by the cutoff time.
I’ll add you to the list when you have your delegations.

OOC - Am I missing something? Some nations - myself and Bears Armed at least - seem to have signed up with full sign ups and athelete lists, but aren't listed on the first post of this thread. CH's post above seems to suggest that 'delegations' are necessary.

What, specifically, are we missing?

OOC - Am I missing something? Some nations - myself and Bears Armed at least - seem to have signed up with full sign ups and athelete lists, but aren't listed on the first post of this thread. CH's post above seems to suggest that 'delegations' are necessary.

What, specifically, are we missing?
Bears Armed is on the list; his puppet, Roumberre, does not yet have a delegation and thus is not.

The Archregimancy, on the other hand, was inexplicably omitted from the list, despite the fact that I had recorded their delegation. Fixed now.

Taeshan Enters first ever Olympics

Taeshan has entered its first olympics ever, the third Summer Olympics in Columbia, UCS. With 237 athletes the team is small, but yet may produce many medals as they have some of the best players in the world in Baseball. Well anyways were in it to win it.(more when draws and stuff announced)

Any Role Play bonus. I`ll RP, but I just want to know

Any Role Play bonus. I`ll RP, but I just want to know
Yes, there is an RP bonus (applied to all athletes from a nation).

Land de Wood Sports Front Page

We are delighted to announce that the rosters for our Olympiad teams have been announced they can be found inside here (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13891138&postcount=31)

The football side is the u-23 mixing a few full internationals with most of the u-21 squad and a few unknown 22 and 23 year olds for good measure. We will be looking for our first success at international level (unless we've won the Baptism of Fire by the time we get round to the Olympiad)

The field hockey team recently won the Qazoxian Sports Festival and will be looking to match that with a win here.

Our Lacrosse side has just come runners up in the World Championships and will be looking to go one better at the Olympiad in this demonstration sport.

We look forward to this great sporting event hoping to see our sporting stars bring home some medals.

Le Quotidien sportif illustré (en ligne)
OLYMPIANS (part 1)

Ariddian Islanders have entered a variety of events at the third Summer Olympics, including sports which usually generate little public interest. Everybody knows who Christina Zhang, Youssef Kasmba and Anaïs Reed are, but have you even heard of Rachel Cohen, Carl Legendre and Miranda Gryzbowski? They will be representing Ariddian colours in sports our compatriots have rarely excelled at. Le Quotidien sportif illustré has talked to Ariddian Islanders who are in Columbia competing for gold, and to others who are there simply to do their best. Over the next few days, we’ll be telling you about Julian Singh, whose idea of competing is to remain locked in a hut without food or water; Sarah Rollins, who will compete in wheelchair racing; Saiful Parvez, the boxer and chess boxer; Helen Mints, proud to be at the Olympics in volleyball; Mustapha Kanu, who’ll be swinging his legs in the men’s synchronised swimming; Sébastien Juillard, from the men’s tug of war team; and others.

GOING FOR GOLD

1. Christian Mohamed
nationality: West Ariddian
age: 31
events entered: table tennis (men’s singles); tennis (men’s singles)
most dangerous opponents:
- table tennis: Lim Bao (MAI), Tan Par (BRS), Connor da Vincho (KEN)
- tennis: Eric Ryuku (KSK), Justian Farl (VAL), Lenoid Varga (KJS), Alin Mesco (PRB), Brendan Holt (NEW), Michael Johnson (NEW)

http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/4375/cmho8.jpg

In the spirit of unity, we begin our overview of Team Ariddian Isles’ Olympians with an athlete from across the Straits of Grey. Arguably West Ariddia’s biggest star at the Columbia Games, Mohamed is the Ariddian Isles’ only representative in both tennis and table tennis, following Amina Mba’s decision not to compete. A virtual unknown in the PDSRA a few days ago, he is already becoming a household name on this side of the straits. In West Ariddia, he’s been famous for years.

Unlike athletes from the PDSRA, who are all moneyless, Mohamed is rich, and makes no pretence about it. He is also highly talented, and one of the team’s strong hopes for a gold medal.

C. MOHAMED: “I co-own a telecom company; that’s where I made my money. Enough to buy a nice mansion and live comfortably. That’s enabled me to. . . Well, it’s why I never became a professional in sport. And that’s why I’m at the Olympics.”

QSI.EL: “Yes, the C.O.A. has taken only non-professionals to the Olympics.”

C. MOHAMED: “Right.”

QSI.EL: “You’re number one in West Ariddia currently for both your sports. This is your opportunity to test yourself against the world’s best.”

C. MOHAMED: “Right.”

QSI.EL: “So what are your expectations? Who are the people to beat?”

C. MOHAMED: “Everyone!” (laughs) “No, more seriously, this is the Olympics, where you’re sent up against the very very best. There are several people who’re going to be particularly tough to beat. No disrespect to my fellows in ping pong, but most of the big names are in tennis. There’s enough talent out there to keep very good athletes off the podium.”

QSI.EL: “Who are you most concerned about?”

C. MOHAMED: “I’m not ‘concerned’, I just…” (pause) “I have tremendous respect for all my opponents’ abilities. I’d have to say that my top opponent may be Mesco. [Alin Mesco, PRB – ed.] I’m hoping to meet him in the final. And I hope he wins silver.” (smiles)

QSI.EL: “Now, it’s an inevitable question, so… How would you feel about standing to the PDSRA flag and anthem if you do win gold? There’s been some controversy in the West Ariddian media.”

C. MOHAMED: (shrugs) “My country wasn’t going to send a delegation of its own. We basically tagged on to yours. It’s normal that you should want to use your own national symbols. I’m fine with that. I get the whole ‘we’re all Ariddian Islanders’ thing, and I think it’s a good idea for our countries to cooperate and come closer together. I’m not interested in political squabbles. I’m competing as an athlete.” (pause) “Having said that… I’ve been to Ariddia, and damn, it really is like going to a foreign country!” (laughs)

QSI.EL: “How do you mean?”

C. MOHAMED: “Well, I don’t know. Oh, actually, I do. You haven’t got adverts all over the place, for one thing. You don’t use money, which takes a lot of getting used to. I might say that I find Ariddians tend to be friendlier than… Yeah, I don’t think I want to finish that sentence.” (grins)

QSI.EL: “So, coming from West Ariddia, what’s your impression of the UCS?”

C. MOHAMED: (thinks) “It feels less foreign than Ariddia does.” (smiles) “No, more seriously, I’ll be happy to wear the red and black, and represent all the Ariddian Isles.”

QSI.EL: “One last question, if I may. You’ve probably been asked this many times, but: Your name. Does anyone get curious about it?”

C. MOHAMED: “You mean, what am I? Am I a Muslim, a Christian, what?” (shrugs) “Put it this way. I’m fairly sure there’s a God, and after that, to me, Islam, Christianity, Judaism, they’re all the same religion at the core. I believe in the basics of all of them. So… yeah. I think my name happens to reflect what I believe, who I am.”

QSI.EL: “Thanks. Best of luck in Columbia.”

C. MOHAMED: “Thanks.”

2. Aa Shey
nationality: Ariddian
age: 28
events entered: boxing (women’s light flyweight)
most dangerous opponents: Lauren Courtney (NEW), Melissa Ball (SEC)

She may look small, and she may look cute, but Ariddia’s Aa Shey (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/aa_shey.html) packs a sharp punch, and will be aiming to knock the world’s best female boxers dizzy. She’s been the Ariddian Isles’ top female boxer in her weight category for several years running, but was barred from previous Olympics due to gender restrictions. So this is her first shot for Olympic gold, and she’s aiming to nail it from the start.

Already famous throughout the PDSRA as a boxer, she never turned professional. Her private life is that of a primary school teacher, whose pupils are delighted to be in the class of a star.

A. SHEY: “Some of them tell me they want to be boxers when they grow up, and I tell them they can’t know that yet. When they’re little, they sometimes think it’s fun to fight. I tell them that boxing is about having a lot of respect for your adversary. They listen to what I say, so I think I’m getting through to them. They see their teacher punching people on TV, so I have to be careful not to set a bad example!”

QSI.EL: “You’re Ariddia’s strongest hope for a medal, a gold, in boxing… I see you nodding.”

A. SHEY: “Yes, well, that would be fantastic! But I won’t be going into my first match thinking about medals. I’ll be going into my first match thinking about my first match, because that’s what the other girl will be doing. And she’ll be quite right, too. I don’t get a bye right into the final, you know; I have to win the matches one at a time.” (smiles) “You know, I met some of the judoka, and I remember, four years ago, Olivier Aleksanyan being drawn against Adam Jameson in the first round, and how we all felt that was so unfair, because they could both have won a medal otherwise. Luck of the draw is a factor. If you’re unlucky, you can end up in the first round facing the future champion. And then you don’t win anything at all – no silver, no bronze. But there’s no point really thinking too much about that.”

QSI.EL: “I think you’ve met Mustapha Kanu as well…”

A. SHEY: “Yes! He’s competing in the men’s synchronised swimming. We talked about how gender stereotypes are being… are being overcome. I’m really grateful, I think it’s fantastic that the Capitalizt Olympic Committee is doing this. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to take part in Olympic Games. Now the next thing is for there to be Paralympics!” (smiles)

QSI.EL: “The C.O.A. has been very eager about that.”

A. SHEY: “Yes. The problem is that, in Ariddia, we just wouldn’t have the infrastructure to organise the Paralympic Games. Imagine! Maybe West Ariddia, but then, in a capitalist country, the media have to think it’s something they can sell to an audience. Which is sad because… Anyway. It’s great that several countries are sending wheelchair athletes to these Games.”

QSI.EL: “Your most dangerous opponent is…?”

A. SHEY: “No question about it: Lauren Courtney, Newmanistan. I think she and I are about at the top of the world’s rankings. I’m glad she’s here, actually. It’s good competition.”

QSI.EL: “But you can beat her?”

A. SHEY: “Yes.” (smiles) “I mean, no certainties, but I’m confident. I know it’s possible.”

QSI.EL: “This is your first time in the UCS, isn’t it?”

A. SHEY: “Yes.”

QSI.EL: “What do you think, so far? Is it easy enough to adjust?”

A. SHEY: “I don’t know; I haven’t seen much of it yet!” (laughs) “I’ll do the touristy things when my part of the Olympics are over.”

QSI.EL: “Thank you for talking to us. And good luck.”

A. SHEY: “Thanks! As they say, I’ll try to make my own.”


GIVING IT THEIR BEST

3. Au Shoe
nationality: Ariddian
age: 23
events entered: athletics (men’s 100m sprint)

If English is your native language, you’ll probably think that Shoe is an excellent name for a sprinter. When the suggestion is put to him, Shoe smiles – a smile telling us that he’s heard it many times before. “They don’t get that may name is Shoe, not Shu,” he explains. “Shu is another name.” Au Shoe is Wymgani, and his second name (http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/wymgani.html#Names) is pronounced Sho-eh. Two syllables.

Unlike Mohamed and Shey, Shoe won’t be carrying the weight of gold medal expectations in Columbia. He was selected for the Olympics as part the Ariddian government’s programme to offer a world class training experience to some of the country’s potential talent.

A. SHOE: “If I’m in a heat of eight, I hope to finish fourth. That would be fantastic. That’s the aim I’ll be running for. At first I told myself I just want to do my best, but it’s good to have a more specific aim. So I know what I’ll be running for.”

QSI.EL: “You’ve won several local competitions, haven’t you?”

A. SHOE: “Yeah. When I was a kid, every year there’d be this big event, bringing three or four towns together, and there’d be sports, competitions. I’d almost always win the sprints. That’s what got me interested in getting actual training.”

QSI.EL: “What will you do if you qualify past the first round?”

A. SHOE: (laughs) “Uhm, I’ll think about that if I ever have to think about it.”

QSI.EL: “Apart from the sports, how would you rate the experience of being here?”

A. SHOE: “Well, the Games’ organisers are good hosts. The Olympic village is great, uhm… After I’ve competed, I’d be interested to stay around a little while, and find out how people live in this country. I mean, they don’t do things the same as us, and I find that really interesting.” (grins) “See what the Capitalizt girls are like.”

QSI.EL: “You’re currently working in agriculture…”

A. SHOE: “Yep yep. I’ve still got quite a bit to learn. But yes, I work in the fields. I’ve got lots of friends there. It takes up a lot of time… Running is a hobby on the side, really. It’s just something that I’m good at, and that I like doing. Now at the Olympics, I’ll get to see how well I can do!”


3. Antoine Mercier
nationality: Ariddian
age: 34
events entered: athletics (men’s long jump)

http://img413.imageshack.us/img413/4538/longjumpeg8.jpg
At the Columbia Games, Mercier won’t have the prosthetic limb that he uses during Paralympic events.

If there’s any sense of good sportsmanship in the world, Antoine Mercier will be an instant crowd favourite. He’s not running the hurdles race, but he faces perhaps a greater hurdle than any other athlete at the Olympics. He will be competing in the long jump with only one leg.

Mercier was born with a crippling deformity in his left leg, which was then amputated well above the knee when he was a few months old. Learning to walk was much harder than for most babies. In his daily life he uses crutches, or hops when the distance is small. He says it might be all the hopping that gave him the idea to train in long jumping, and he turned out to be very good at it. So when he’s not busy with his job as an electrician, he trains to jump further and further. Ariddia’s top Paralympic athlete in the long jump, he now aims to take on the world’s best able-bodied athletes at the greatest sports event on Earth.

A. MERCIER: “I don’t want spectators to feel sympathy. I want them to think: There’s an athlete, let’s watch and see how good he is. And then I do my thing, and it impresses them or not.”

QSI.EL: “But you acknowledge that you face more of a challenge? Many people would say that makes your performance all the more impressive.”

A. MERCIER: “Well, yes, it’s more of a challenge. Yes. When you’re running and jumping and you haven’t got that second leg… Yes. But I’m competing in an able-bodied event, so it’s the same rules for everyone, and I’m an athlete the same as everyone.”

QSI.EL: “No other country is sending athletes with disabilities to the Games.”

A. MERCIER: “You want me to comment? Well, maybe they only want to send athletes who have a chance of winning a medal. Yes, it’s a shame, because people who have got a lot of talent are being excluded. But I can understand the reasoning that goes: Why send someone who’s not going to win? I think we should be encouraging countries to look past that, but not criticising them if they don’t.”

QSI.EL: “It’s been said that you embody the Olympic spirit.”

A. MERCIER: “All on my own?” (smiles) “No, anyone who struggles, who trains, who works hard, who pours his or her passion and dedication into doing their best… They all represent the Olympic spirit.”

QSI.EL: “What are your hopes for the Columbia Games?”

A. MERCIER: “For myself?”

QSI.EL: “Yes.”

A. MERCIER: “Well, my aim is to beat my own personal best. Also, I don’t want to finish last. I want to show that having a disability doesn’t mean you have to finish last.”

QSI.EL: “And of course, Mélanie Sandré already showed that four years ago.”

A. MERCIER: “Yes! Fantastic athlete. I’m really pleased she’s here again in Columbia. Anyway, I’m going to be completely unrealistic, and say that my aim is to win gold. I want to aim at that, and see how close I get. For everything else, I hope there’ll be memorable Games for everyone involved. I’m sure they will.”

QSI.EL: “Thank you very much, and best of luck.”

A. MERCIER: “Thanks.”

http://img285.imageshack.us/img285/6201/corriereb45jb0.jpg

Van der Vaart carries Sanadrianese dreams

http://img220.imageshack.us/img220/4940/fvdvjb7.jpg
Van der Vaart (foreground), a marathonian, has also begun amateur sprinting.

The smallest delegation at the third Summer Olympic Games will consist in only one athlete: Femke van der Vaart (http://img285.imageshack.us/img285/6201/corriereb45jb0.jpg), from the Sovereign Village of San Adriano.

Making her second appearance at the Olympics, the San Adrianese runner is keen to move past her disappointing performance four years ago, when she had to drop out of the marathon, exhausted, after 37.861 km.

“I’ve trained hard,” she says. “I can do better. I know I’m not allowed to slip up. San Adriano has entered just one athlete in one event, so I have to get it right.”

The tiny, fully independent village has known Olympic glory in the past. Despite having a population of around 450, it has produced no fewer than three Olympic medallists. Benjamin Eash won bronze in table tennis four years ago, while Sabrina Vanucci, the country’s greatest sports hero, won a stunning gold medal in swimming at the first Summer Games. Thomas Peruzzi, the speedskater, has won both a silver and a bronze at the Winter Olympics. The pressure is now fully on van der Vaart.

“The marathon is difficult,” she says. “You have to finish it, and you have to be faster than all the other athletes. I don’t worry about them, though. I just focus on my own race.”

The village’s lone marathonian is not a Sandrianese by birth, but by marriage. She still spends most of her time in Uhuh-Topia, her country of origin, where she works as a postwoman.

“Often, instead of taking the post to people by bike, I do it on foot, jogging,” she says with a smile. “That way I get a bit of practice while I’m at work. It all helps.”

Whenever she does visit San Adriano, she is instantly recognised by the tiny community, and made to feel at home. “Perhaps I’ll move there. But housing is a problem. They’ve got no room at all (http://img237.imageshack.us/img237/8046/testsa51yg5.jpg) to build new homes.”

http://img374.imageshack.us/img374/7227/testsa51yg5jf8.jpg
San Adriano, the sovereign village, redefines the meaning of “small”.

Van der Vaart owes her local fame to her status as the country’s only active athlete, but also to her striking and peculiar style. As though to emphasise her belonging to her adopted country, which has green on its national flag, she has died her hair light green, and wears green lipstick. It is impossible not to notice her in a crowd, but she says she feels “comfortable” with her unorthodox appearance.

And how does she find the city of Columbia?

“The Olympic village is comfy. I have a small house there all to myself, since I’m my country’s whole delegation. There’s a park nearby, quite a big one, where I go and practice running. I’ve been looking forward to the big day for a long time. I think I’ll be ready!”

Betsy Kelleher threw her bags down on the floor of her room, and collapsed on the bed. Travel across the multiverse by space-twister always took a lot out of those who travelled that way. Discovered quite by accident twenty years ago as a side-product of an attempt to create a FTL engine, space-twisters had allowed Maineiacs to expand its contacts to countless worlds across numerous dimensions, but at the cost of leaving one zoned out for a full day afterwards -- sort of liked the old phenomenon of jet lag, but far worse. Suddenly, there was a knock at her door.

"Come in," she said. The door opened and Sheila Mitchell, Betsy's teammate on the Maineiacs Olympic Swim Team entered.

"Hi, Betsy," she said. "Just got in, huh?"

"Yeah," answered Betsy wearliy. "How about you?"

"Got here yesterday." Sheila said. "I had my usual post-space-twister throwing up party, but I'm ok now."

"Good. So, are you my roommate again?" asked Betsy.

"Not this time," said Sheila. "They've got me in with cyclist Kitty Dennis. I have bad news for you on that front, though. I heard your roommate is Christa Schiller."

"Oh no!" groaned Betsy "Not that pima donna!" Schiller was the reigning 5-time Ladies Tennis champion in Maineiacs, and an olympic medalist, and to hear her talk, also the patron goddess of sports.

"Yep, I'm afraid so." said Sheila. "And of course, Irina is on the team too, so you're in for lots of excitement for the next few weeks. I was talking to Nuo Mei, who roomed with Christa four years ago, and she said they actually locked her out of the room more than once so they could have some 'alone time'." Schiller and her doubles partner Irina Tcherpova were a couple off the court as well, and both of them thought that the universe revolved around them.

"Great. Just wonderful. Well, if they try that crap with me, they'll both be needing to see the team doctors to have their rackets removed from their asses." said Betsy. "I swear, that woman is way too impressed with her silver medal. I ought to wear my gold just to piss her off."

"Well, if you do that, Nuo Mei would probably be glad to hold them down for you. She said she was glad her competition had been early on, or she wouldn't have been able to concentrate with those two around. She's not as timid as she was when she was 16." said Sheila.

"Well, I wasn't timid at 16 or 18, and I'm sure as hell not timid at 22." said Betsy. "I won't take any nonsense from her. At least not after I recuperate."

"Well, when you're up to it, come on down to the pool." said Sheila. "Tamara said she wants to get in some good practice time, and I agree. It's a tough field this time around."

"Ok, see you when I wake up." said Betsy.

http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/athleteblogs.png

LAURA ASHTON - JUDO
Posted: August 3, 2008

When you go around collecting people's pee I'd say you should just take what you get. But apparently my sample was "too diluted" for the wonderful anti-doping folks, so they sent someone to supervise me peeing into a little plastic bottle.

I don't know if you've ever had a stranger watch you pee before. I don't reccomend it. It is like the most disconcerting experience ever.

Well anyway, once I was done she snapped on these latex glove and took the bottle gingerly, then she dropped it into this ziploc bag marked "BIOHAZARD" with the symbol you see in the movies to mark the area where everyone's been killed by the Zombie Virus or something. Real tactful.

My brother's a doctor, and he once told me that urine is actually considered sterile since it's pure unadulterated right out of your body stuff. So it's "uncontaminated". And you always hear these stories about people who survive being trapped somewhere or lost in the desert and they always drink their own urine. Not that I'm in a hurry to do so, mind you.

"Good evening, and welcome to Skytel Sports One. I'm Alan Eagle, and this is Countdown to the Olympics. We're just days away from the opening of the Third Olympic Games in the Unified Capitalizt States. The Asteran delegation has arrived in Columbia, where we have a reporter. Let's go live to Sally Brown, who is in the village with the athletes. Sally?"

"Thank you, Alan. It's fairly quiet here in Columbia as our athletes are preparing for the opening ceremony on the 8th. We have been allowed to talk to some of the athletes, so we have Axel Hunter, Ian James, Tara Wilson, and Samuel Isokoski. Axel, we'll start with you. You came in third in the Tour of Asteran, but won two of the classifications. Would winning a medal here be redemption?"

"No, not really. I knew what I had to do at the Tour, but my time trial skills killed me in the overall. Redemption can only come at the Tour. I want to win a medal here to show that I am the best road cyclist not just in Asteran, but the whole world. I also think that it would give me a psychological boost at the next Tour."

"Your Kars Sporting Club teammate Richard Kite is running in the road race with you, having claimed a wildcard spot after another rider dropped out. Is he going to help you win the race, or are their no team orders?"

"There's no team orders here. Richard and I will ride together, but when it comes to the finish, it's every man for himself. We aren't allowed to favor one rider over the other. If he beats me, he beats me. It's a one-man show on the road, and there's no teammates in the final kilometer."

"Thanks Axel. Best of luck to you. Tara, we'll go to you. You're swimming in eight events at the Olympics. Do you think that you will be able to hold up to the pressure of competing in each one?"

"I do. I know it will be hard to swim in eight events, but I believe that I can."

"You recently fired your long-time coach Jerry Porter after he told The Daily Informer that he had little confidence in your ability to compete in all your events. Will that have an effect on your mental preparation?"

"Y'know, I have nothing but respect for Jerry's skills as a coach. But for him to say something like that to the press behind my back is just dishonorable. I have had a hard time putting it out of my mind because I'm so used to seeing him at my tournaments, but I have to block it out before things start. I want to prove him wrong and hopefully reconcile with him. But that's a long way off."

"Thank you Tara. Best of luck. Samuel, now to you. As one of the many Kapi athletes in the delegation, how much does this mean to you?"

"It means a lot. We all fought hard to get here, but we have the pressure of two groups on our shoulders. We represent Asteran, but we also represent the Kapi people in these Games."

"What was the sendoff like in Kapi?"

"It was incredible. The streets were lined with people who were cheering for us and waving the flag. We were met by the governor, who gave a passionate speech telling us how we held the hopes of the Kapi on our shoulders and told us to fight like true warriors. We were blessed by one of our priests and cheered out of the city."

"You're competing in Judo, a martial art that is gaining popularity in Asteran, particularly among young people. Would a medal win help the profile of the sport?"

"Undoubtedly. I think if they saw that one of us won an international competition, it would show them that they could as well. The fact that we had a national championship recently for the first time also helps out. We've seen judo dojos spring up across the country, particularly at universities. A medal would probably make things bigger."

"Thanks, Samuel. Good luck to you. Now to our last guest, Ian. What was it like when you were told you would be the flag bearer?"

"Incredible. I never thought that a guy like me could have that opportunity. I think we all thought it would be a footballer or one of the basketball players. I never dreamed of something like this."

"You won the University Championship for Newcastle University this year in Greco-Roman wrestling, going undefeated in all competition. Do you think that your success in uni sports will help you here at the Olympics?"

"Well, any experience is better than none, but I think that college wrestling has little correlation with international wrestling. At the very least, I can get some experience now and come back for another go, but I'm hoping to win something."

"Thank you, Ian. Best of luck. Back to you, Alan."

"Thank you, Sally. We'll have reports from Columbia all through the Games, with athlete interviews and behind the scenes information. A complete schedule is on our website at sportsone.as. For those of you interested in the coverage scheme, we will be partnering with the Asteran Broadcasting Service to bring you complete coverage of the Games. Non-medal rounds will be broadcast by both the ABS and by Skytel Sports live. Medal rounds will be shown on ABS channels live. Events without Asteran athletes will be shown on Skytel Sports on tape-delay. Events will also be covered by ABS radio. Check the websites to see when the events will be on. That's all from Countdown. Up next on Skytel Sports One, live auto racing in the Asteran GT3 Championship from Bristol Raceway."

COMITÊ OLÍMPICO CAFUNDELENSE FINALLY RELEASES LIST OF ATHLETES!
All 500 names released in the same day

(Lasft, Cafundéu) - After months of wait, the Comitê Olímpico Cafundelense (Cafundelense Olympic Commitee - COC) released the names of the 500 athletes that will participate in the Olympic Games in the Unified Capitalizt States. Among those names, the names of famous athletes (some even favourites in their sports) and names of complete unknown people, that probably have no chances at winning a medal.

The flag-bearer, Antônio Carlos Bamerindus, is the one with most chances of bringing medals home. He is the leader of the very strong Cafundelense Equestrian team (successful in the last olympics), and, with his horse Serrano, is a competitor to be feared. Other strong points of the Cafundelense list are the volleyball teams, the diving athletes, the sailing masters and the gymnasts, although these last ones will have a difficult job ahead in having to defeat the Ariddians, something that they were unable to do in the last olympics, losing most of the events.

Cafundéu also will participate in the demonstration sports, even in the Summer Vigil Fasting. But, among these ones, Bocce is the strongest sport of the Cafundelenses.

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Bucksway to carry flag as Olympics draw closer

With the clock quickly counting down to the start of the third Olympiad, it has been announced that Kate Bucksway, Sorthern Northland's most successful Olympiad, will be carrying the flag during the opening ceremony. Bucksway, who won Sorthern Northland's first ever medal at the third Winter Olympics said, "It's a huge honour to be asked to carry the flag, especially as I'm not competing. I'm really looking forward to it, and as they will tell you in Candelaria And Marquez, we do have a nice flag."

Bucksway is currently the only Sortherner to have won an Olympic medal, and despite it only being a bronze she will always be fondly thought of in Sorthern Northland. As one senior suit from the Olympic Committee of Sorthern Northland said, "She was the first Sortherner to win an Olympic medal so whilst we hope plenty of Sortherners better her, they can never take away from her that she was the first and in that sense no one can better her, every other Sortherner who wins a medal whether bronze silver or gold will be following in her footsteps."

The OCSN is hoping to bring a number of medals back home, and whilst a number of Sorthern athletes will be competing more for the experience than to win, we do have a good number with a shot at a medal. Football will of course be keenly contested by the Sortherners and with both a mens team and a womens team, we could well have two shots at a medal. On the athletics track on Aiden Berry in the mens 100metre sprint looks like being up there in the medals although with a bit of luck Nadine Hughes could be competing for a medal in the women's 100 metres. Cycling though will be where Sorthern Northland challenge the most and with cyclists such as Fran Ventoso, Mike Caverndash, Hayley Gilbert and Hélène Duval amongst our ranks, a return with no medals looks unlikely.

However whatever happens there will be drama, tension, super slow-mo replays of really boring stuff, pain, tears, scandal and excitement. And that'll just be the lighting of the Olympic flame. Some of course will try and make political statements, they will be condemned by those who say sports and politics shouldn't mix. A thought that is fair enough, but when the whole event revolves around nations (which you cannot have without politics) competing against each other is clearly unobtainable. For us here at L'Internationale it is simple, bring on the sports, bring on the politics and bring on the third edition of the Olympic Games.

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Island not to be outdone in battle of the micronations

One of the most intriguing aspects of the upcoming Olympics is that of the micronations in the event. As far as we can tell there are two, ourselves of course and San Adriano, the micro nation that An Blascaod Mór will be looking to emulate come the World Cup qualifiers. The Sovereign Village has on a number of occasions the sporting odds, Sabrina Vannucci won gold for the country at the first Summer Games, whilst in football they beat Zwangzug and Scotchpinestan in World Cup 38 qualifying, and famously beat Starblaydia in a friendly during qualifiers for that World Cup

"Everybody's favourite underdog" would be a fair statement and with just one athlete at these games they are the smallest delegation at the event. Indeed An Blascaod Mór's six discipline 27 person person delegation looks massive compared to San Adriano's. Indeed the Olympics is often proclaimed to be an event that "brings the world together" or "unites a nation". Often though that is untrue, large proportions of populations generally have nothing to do with the games, however the smaller the nation the truer the statement. And An Blascaod Mór's delegation is a sign of that. 27 of the islands population of 143 will be competing at the event, every family on the island has someone competing and once again the island will be deserted for a couple of weeks as the whole population travels abroad in support of their comrades. This event is truly one to "unite the nation" and with a decent chance of winning a medal, the next couple of weeks are sure to be special for the island but even if we don't beat our fellow micronation in the medals tables, the honour of being the smallest nation to compete is ours.

Vadim Fedchenko was in his gym training for the Olympics. He was the military boxing champion in the Welterweight division and was known as a force to be reckoned with. He had one reason for fighting, his country. He was a spokesman for the Kanji Army and was a face of propaganda posters. He knew that and he loved that. However, he just kept thinking back to that night.

Three years ago….

It was a fight in the quarterfinal rounds for the Army Belt. He was going up against this guy who was barely within the Welterweight class. He lost 10 pounds in the final two weeks to make the match. The guy I was going up against was a southpaw who was hard to predict for if you were the average army boxer. I was no army boxer though. As soon as the match started, I realized that he was actually a decent fighter. The first ten rounds were back and forth with him getting a few good hits in and I was getting a few good hits in. I had a bit of swelling near my eyes and he was starting to tire. As the match entered the 12th round, the tide turned towards me. He hit that brick wall that poorly trained fighters hit and lost the ability to fight. I was wrecking him though with constant five or ten punch combos and he was just trying to protect himself. At the start of the thirteenth round, I hit him with a right and he never got up.

He died five days later of bleeding on the brain. The courts declared that I did nothing wrong and it was chalked up as an act of god. I withdrew out of honor for the victim and I came back next year and won the tournament. I was the only person that resumed a normal life after the tournament. His mother and the referee committed suicide and the military made stringent new rules for boxing but I accepted it as an act of god. I realized that night why I fight. I fight for honor and country,

Mike Kirkland looked out at the field. The team was already beggining their warm-ups, and mike gritted himself to face the tirade he knew was coming. The coach of the Maineiacs Olympic Baseball team was Harry Merker, coach of the Minneapolis Twins during the MBL season. To say that Merker had a reputation as a harsh taskmaster was the grossest of understatements. Merker had been known to halt games in order to give a player a piece of his mind; which sometimes took several minutes and could (according to legend) be clearly heard in all their profanity-laced glory from behind the glass partitions of the sky boxes. Merker did not disappoint today.

"Kirkland! Get your ass into your gear and get out there! Why the hell are you late? Does this have something to do with that woman of yours?" Merker bellowed. "That woman of his" was Lily Woodward, pitcher for the Ladies team.

"No sir. I just was feeling a little sick from the travel-lag." said Mike.

"Well shake it off! Competing might be a little difficult for us without a damn catcher!" said Merker. "Get warmed up, then get to some drills with Gutierrez!"

"Ok, skipper." said Mike. Inwardly he sighed. This was his punishment. Frankie Gutierrez, Mike friend since High School, and former college teammate. Frankie was now pitching for the Yankees, while Mike played for the Red Sox. Frankie was also one of the toughest pitchers to hit off of, as well as catch. Mike led the MBL in batting this year, at .378, slightly better than his lifetime average of .370, but against Guttierrez, his lifetime average was something like .225. Frankie wasn't a fireballer -- his "fastball" barely cracked 135 kph (Lily's exceeded 175); he was a finesse pitcher. Frankie's repertoire included a solid screwball, a sinker that looked like it fell off the edge of a table, and a knuckleball that fluttered around like a drunken butterfly. That made it nearly impossible to hit -- or catch. Yankees catcher Jorge Tavares led the league in errors thanks to Frankie's knuckler.

Mike sighed again, and went to put on his gear.

The Albrecht Herald>Sunday Sport Section>Columbia Games
A cat’s chance in hell?
Mack Hession in Columbia

And so, after months of rowing (and not the sort involving oars), rambunctious legal cases and, when all else failed, unscheduled fisticuffs at dawn; the Candelarias have a Summer Olympics team for the first time ever.

There’s no shooting, no archery, no fencing – the previous Anderson administration having stressed that such events set a terrible example to the nation’s youth and ensured that some of C&M’s strongest potential Olympians will be left at home – but boxing and judo have managed to sneak their way in, after a fashion. There’s no equestrianism, no water polo – it’s too cruel on the horses – and, on the face of it, Candelariasian success stories look set to be few and far between.

Granted, that’s really not the point – for tiddly little nations such as we, the spectacle of the games is what matters most; the chance to see the finest physical specimens from the planet’s truly great sporting nations, and Newmanistan, compete at the highest possible level of international competition. Athletes who have been showered with funding and training since they were in the womb taking on those with a curiously uneven number of limbs, on equal terms. The pride and the pageantry. The deepest rivalries and warmest friendships. The world records and the subsequent failed drug tests. Gender-bending on a scale to make Onwere City Council blush. Humanity in all its forms – delicate and powerful; white, black, brown and yellow; pointy-eared and unnervingly hirsute – putting aside music and poetry and the sciences in favour of seeing how far they can chuck stuff. It doesn’t get much better than this.

The mood from Team C&M’s training camp in Super Singularity Skybase Formers, before they move on to the village in Columbia later this week, is understandably buoyant on their first go at the Olympics. The COCACAMAO has set what, at first glance, would seem a comically optimistic target of three medals, including one gold. Certainly, our delegation must be able to do better than their cousins at the last winter Olympics, where most of the C&M team were held up at customs and left unable to compete, and star figure skater Theodora Simon defected to Quakmybush and married a builder called Terry. But have we, when all is said and done, got any hope of cheering even a single Candelariasian to an Olympic medal? The Herald’s sport correspondents investigate our chances…

…on the water…
Jason Justice, Herald Sailing Correspondent
If Team C&M have the remotest chance of bringing home a shiny reward, then surely it lies with our sailing squad? As an island country, surrounded by treacherous waters and calm bays alike, some three-quarters of the Candelarias’ population living within barely half an hour of the coast, and where almost no city is complete without its attached armada of sailing boats; the people of C&M are never more in their element than on the open waves. How better for a naturally unadventurous people to test themselves against some of the globe’s most challenging environments, without having to stray too far from home?

Yet there are two big buts before we can make any grandiose predictions of Candelariasian success, and they come in eight syllables – Cafundéu and Kura-Pelland. Hannah Wisnieski, so long the undisputed queen of Candelarias sports, will face a huge challenge – not only against her long-time rival, the ‘other Hannah’ of the global sailing scene, but the immense talent of Márcia Jordão. Nearly two decades Wisnieski’s junior, the young pretender Eleigh Roberts will similarly be up against it in the Windsurfer category, and again against Cafundelense opposition. All eyes may be on the waters south of Columbia, but even the grande dame of C&M sport herself will struggle to bring us any Olympic glory. For, when it comes to world-class sailing, the Monopolists are well named indeed.

Hannah Wisnieski interview and full Sailing preview, page 6


…with a racket…
Paul Thompson, Herald Tennis Correspondent
Now, this is a bit more like it… isn’t it?

C&M’s dominance in the racket sports may be region-wide, but these Games will represent most of our competitors’ first real opportunity to test themselves against global opposition. Our best chances lie, once again, with the women – and, specifically, with our youngsters. Having trained together since they were but wee bairns, Yazmin Nazar and Rabiah Sajjad have every chance of continuing their regional form; but the Albrecht teenagers face a host of challenging opponents, from Klaeigh/Venturine of Cafundéu, to Kassandra/Irma of Neuves Aires.

Arguably the pre-eminent women’s players of the modern era, the Cafundelense pair could prove similarly unstoppable in the women’s singles draw, where Comfort Adekunde flies the flag for C&M. She may be a genuinely exciting prospect, but those looking for a real chance of gold would do better to look towards the badminton courts. With a nice dollop of luck, Clotaire’s Pearce Pedotti could emerge from these games as a true Candelariasian sporting legend. Given their form in winning last month’s New Rappahannock Masters, Pedotti and her Zapata-born partner Holly Richards could even start as favourites in the women’s’ pairs. And as for María Núñez; the Castillo local appears genuinely convinced that Columbia could provide the perfect swansong to her career.

Don’t rule out the immensely talented young Daisy Mah in the table tennis either, but the rest of the large C&M contingent should prove outclassed at this level. Soz.

Comfort Adekunde report and full Tennis preview, page 5
María Núñez interview and full Badminton preview, page 8


…on the track, and in the field…
Ron Bradley, Herald Athletics Correspondent
For many, the track and field events are the heart and soul of the Olympic Games, the Olympic movement and the Olympic ideal. For us… well, it’s just a bit of a larf, innit?

C&M’s ten-member squad are charged primarily with the responsibility of not completely embarrassing themselves in Columbia, and the truth remains that the Candelarias are never going to be able to compete against the far larger, wealthier and, when all else fails, blacker nations that dominate the Olympic Stadium every year.

All our attentions lie with Ekah Dikko, the young woman who has all the potential to take the step up from being a household name and face in her homeland to becoming a global superstar. At some stage however, we have to allow reality to bite. The Arrigo girl is better than Mandee Fischer. She’s better than Alice Crawford. She’s better than Samantha Grey. But what do they put in the water in the One Big Island?

The truth? The focus on Ekah represents the best chance for the rest of the team to sneak under the radar. Comedy middle-distance runner Mehmet Çarboga has got as good a chance as anyone in the 800 metres, but watch out for Rachel Adams. An also-ran, even in C&M, barely two years ago; the Cleal Beck woman is finding an extra inch seemingly every time she throws the discus. If she can continue that form into the UCS, anything is possible.

Ekah Dikko report and full Athletics preview, page 3


…with the ball at our feet…
Tracker Edwards, Herald Chief Football Writer
For many nations, particularly those who operate on a vastly different timescale to our own, the Olympics represent their football teams’ one chance to shine at the highest level, with World Cups coming along far too often to make involvement practical. How else does one explain the success of Reineberg, reaching the semi-finals in Querzakhi? Or why Asteran, Nuevos Aires, Secristan and South Pocono are rated so highly be the experts? It’s not hard to see why our under-23ish team, exhausted from their excursions in Starblaydia and a long CMSC season, are not exactly considered among the favourites.

Much will depend on Trevor Organ’s squad selection, to be confirmed in the next day or so, but many fans will – not for the first nor last time in these Games – be looking across to the Biggish Blues’ female counterparts. Certain recent individual performances may give them cause for brightness; but, in truth, we would count ourselves extremely fortunate indeed to see Peppi, Lelliot, and the Georginas et al, win any colour in the Unified Capitalizt States. A quarter-final performance from both would represent a fine achievement.

Football, pages 14 to 21


…on two wheels…
Stanley Stanley, Herald Cycling Correspondent
The utter mess that is Candelariasian cycling means that what could – what should – have been Team C&M’s best discipline now looks likely to fall by the wayside. A whole generation of potential world-class cyclists have been missed due to the years-long civil war between the CCF and CACAM, with the COCACAMAO since taking charge of team selection. Their efforts have been meagre – their failure to even enter Trayectoria del Encargado’s Martín Rodríguez in the correct category only adding to the shambles – while simply throwing C&M’s most recent competitors in the Tour de Qazox into various disparate events smacks of desperation. America Hinkling, in the Women’s Time Trial, is a rare jewel; but Columbia will represent a month of disappointment and backwards motion all the way for C&M, on the roads and in the velodrome.

Grant Beaton interview, full Cycling preview page 9


…in the pool…
Ellie Moore, Herald Swimming Correspondent
While our track athletes labour under the media glare, their less starry cousins in the pool have the opportunity to make global names for themselves. The team is strong enough that three of the relay disciplines have been filled, and hopes are high across the board of getting someone, at least, into the final of one of the twenty-three categories on offer.

The man they call the Sea Horse, Marco Antonio Gabriel de Anda, will be leading our hopes in the breaststroke; but, once again, the efforts to promote women’s sport at the grassroots level have royally paid off. Youngsters Georgie Naylor and Ollie Harris are still improving all the time, and will have the opportunity to eclipse their elder colleagues Catie Armstrong and Hellie Degand at the grandest stage of all

On the vertical axis meanwhile, old Barry Spooner may not be a pretty sight, but he could be a contender from the three metre springboard.

Barry Spooner report, full Swimming and Diving preview page 11


…in the ring and on the mat…
Clyde Rivera, Herald Boxing Correspondent
The PC mob couldn’t keep us down! It may be a small team, but the boxers and judoka of the Candelarias have earned their chance to prove what they are capable of. If there’s going to be a single knock-out win in Columbia then Dean Comley, brought straight off the streets of Maidment and thrown into the ring, will provide it. Deano has everything to be a massive star, and should certainly leave the hyper-hyped Yoon Sung-Young trailing in his wake. The boy’s good; but with Joseph Ceber, Masasi Sunaci, Cow Clayben and all in his weight category, the teenager could be in for one hell of a beating. Ouchi Gari indeed!

Comley & Sung-Young interview, full Boxing and Judo preview page 13


…with the ball in their hands…
Carrie Meyer, Herald Netball Correspondent
I assume the thinking was that, because of our history in regional netball, the COCACAMAO decreed that it was worth entering a team in the women’s basketball.

Five months later, and a squad drawn almost entirely from overseas colleges and girls who left the Candelarias before the age of three will arrive in Columbia, get their day or two of fame, and then go back from whence the game, never to be heard of again.

But they’ll be playing in blue, with a dash of green. How cool is that?!


…on the beam, the floor, the vault, the uneven bars…
Jennifer Guerra, Herald Gymnastics Correspondent
The princess of the Candelariasian balance beam for six years, the globe now has the chance to appreciate the poise and elegance of Arrigo’s Jenni Smith. The seventeen year-old, while some distance the strongest member of the C&M team, will hardly be alone – Pippa Ashby, at twenty-six, will be one of the elder stateswomen in the arena, while little Echo Petronis has all the tale–

Oh, who are we kidding? This is arguably the most competitive event at the Olympics. Our poor girls don’t stand a chance.

There’s also a men’s team, but who really cares about them?

Jennifer Smith report, full Gymnastics preview, page 13


…in everything else…
Fernando López, Herald Minority Sports Correspondent
Everything short of competitive falling-down-the-chimney is included at these games, whether medals are on offer or not, and C&M has plenty of representation. There’s John t’Baker in the weightlifting, there’s the rowing, there’s the kayaking, there’s the bocce, for heaven’s sake!

And I don’t know anything about any of it! Columbia here I come!

John t’Baker interview, page 5
Full Bocce preview, page 6


And there’s always the field hockey…
James Merritt, Herald Field Hockey Correspondent
C&M’s little team, safely ensconced between Cafundéu and the Capitalizt SLANI, will be led out at the opening ceremony by Josh Woodward – the captain of the men’s field hockey team, and a permanent reminder of the Blue Sticks’ status as bona fide World Champions.

And they’ll be favourites, you know, they really will. If all else fails, the hopes of the islands will be on Ross Cooney and his men. This is C&M’s one, nailed-on chance for Olympic glory. All we need now is a sex scandal to help them on their way.

What’s that? Kura-Pelland are the bookies’ second-favourites? Marvellous.

Full Field Hockey preview, page 4

Albavona Capitol Sentinel

Athlete Profile: Sarasvati Channarayapatra
by Al Bauer

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Above: Sarasvati Channarayapatra shows off her gold from the Unified Beretania Nationals in her signature event, the 100m Freestyle.

Columbia, UCS - She is quite simply the best swimmer that Unified Beretania has ever seen, male or female. In these Olympics, she is the most prized weapon in Beretania’s swimming arsenal.

However in these Games, Sarasvati Channarayapatra will be facing some tough competition from countries like Newmanistan, whose swimmers are poised to dominate the swimming events. The competition is so fierce, she may not even medal at all, even in her signature event, the 100m Freestyle.

The daughter of Indian immigrants has gotten Beretanians to fall in love with swimming, much in the same way the country caught gymnastics fever from gymnasts like Anastasia Kostrikova.

I interviewed Sarasvati before she left Albavona for Columbia and the III Olympiad.

Al Bauer: Sarasvati, how does it feel to be headed to these Olympics? You breezed through the Nationals, sweeping up gold in your signature event, the 100m Freestyle, and you were the best in the Olympic trials. That has to be the most amazing feeling.

Sarasvati Channarayapatra: Yes, it is. I’m so thankful to live in a country where I even have this chance at all. So many nations look down on immigrants, but I am so thankful to live in a country where I am recognized for being a Beretanian first and of Indian descent second. I’m still very humble though because I know I’m going up against the world’s best swimmers. There is a lot of talent coming out of Newmanistan and Secristan and so many others.

AB: I remember though when you first came onto the national radar so to speak in swimming, the press wanted to sort of “westernize” your name. They started to refer to you as Sara Channa. What was that all about?

SC: But I proved my critics wrong, and they started calling me by my full name. They didn’t anticipate that Beretanians would rally behind a swimmer of Indian descent. Immigrants make up a large part of this country, and that’s not going to change. Look at Lo Jiang Li in archery, born and raised in Beijing. These Olympics for us wouldn’t be the same without the contributions of immigrants.

AB: Do you think you have opened up the door to swimmers of Indian descent in Beretania?

SC: I certainly hope so. But like I said, I am Beretanian first, and of Indian descent second. Anyone can accomplish what I have accomplished, it takes a lot of heart, a lot of will, and a big dream, but it can be done. It doesn’t matter what your nationality or ethnic background is. Fighting prejudice makes you stronger in the long run.

AB: So your main competition in your best event, the 100m Freestyle, is Natália Franco of Cafundéu, Jennifer Conlin and Lauren Biron of Newmanistan, Carrie Stefansson and Julie Holmes of Secristan, Raniya Dalahogatu Hempara of Baranxtu, and of course, Lorette Shufflebarger of Unified Beretania. What do you think your chances are?

SC: I would be happy, I would be content just to win bronze against those names you mentioned. I’m elated just to be going to the Olympics and representing my country. And there’s room to share the spotlight with Lorette. She’s done an incredible job to make the Olympic swim team. This is her best event as well, so if she happens to medal, and I don’t, I won’t hold it against her. The competition is tough to beat, but you know what? This is the Olympics and the level of skill needed to medal is very high. You have to put up your best performance and believe a little in your heart.

AB: You’re also competing in the 400m Freestyle, and in the 4x100m Freestyle Relay and 4x200m Freestlye Relay, as well as the 100m Breaststroke. Are you pinning all your hopes in the 100m Freestyle, or do you think you have a chance in some of the other events?

SC: I am hoping to do well in the all my events, but to be honest, I think my best shot at a medal is in the 100m Freestyle. I’m still going to try my best in everything else.

AB: Now, our friends the Fujisawan Territories have Jozenna Nai. She’s a brilliant swimmer. Your thoughts?

SC: Yes, she is. I’ll be competing against her in the 400m Freestyle, and in the 100m Breaststroke. She’s a tremendous swimmer, and I admire her talent. We both share the distinction of being the flag bearers in the opening ceremony for our nations, and I’m sure she is just as thrilled to represent her country as I am.

AB: I’m going to give you the final word. Tell the world what’s on your mind.

SC: I want to thank my parents for their support through the years. It’s what has gotten me where I am today. I want to thank my coaches from the Unified Beretania National Swim Team for believing in me. I want to thank my country for giving me a chance. Friends, family, fans...thank you all for the inspiration and encouragement. Thanks to Lorette Shufflebarger, she’s a great friend, whose friendly competition often gives me the incentive to go the extra distance. I want to say to all the swimmers at the Olympics, good luck!

THE MONASTIC TIMES
OLYMPIC SPECIAL

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

As most of the residents in our nation prepared themselves for the Fast of the Dormition, a small and select group of monastic athletes have been preparing themselves body and soul to compete in the forthcoming third Olympiad in the home of Mammon the money-worshipping archfiend, otherwise known to some as the 'Unified Capitalizt States'.

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Half of the Archregimancy's Olympic team preparing to leave for the UCS

'Is Outrage!' cried team spokesman Fr. Vasily the Heavily Accented, somewhat predictably. 'Could they not hold Olympic Games in good Orthodox country? Why is Olympics in nation with the excellent infrastructure, the comfortable climate, and the expertise in the so-called information technology. Were these things happening in the medieval Russia? Or the Byzantine Empire? I think not.'

Officials from the Monastic Olympic committee were quick to disagree with Fr. Vasily that holding the Olympics in the UCS constituted an 'anti-Orthodox conspiracy', noting that the hosts had so far failed to ban the Archregimancy from playing their full national anthem upon winning a gold medal. 'Which you have to admit is a good start' said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity. 'And have you seen the temporary Orthodox basilica provided in the Olympic village for Orthodox athletes? And Summer Vigil Fasting's been accepted as a demonstration sport. You can't say that the UCS aren't at least trying to make us feel reasonably comfortable. For a bunch of Satan-corrupted heathen money worshippers, they're not doing that badly'.

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The Archregimancy's Olympic team and officials pose in front of the Olympic village's Orthodox basilica.


Elsewhere, concern was today expressed for top Summer Vigil Fasting hope Fr. Emilian the Emaciated, who was said to have prepared a little too vigorously for the fortcoming Olympiad by fasting overly-strenuously over the last two weeks.

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Fr. Emilian the Emaciated after his latest two week fast.

'We applaud Fr. Emilian's dedication to a life of God-praising ascetic virtue, but we're really not too confident he can last another two weeks after what seems to have been a particularly severe fourteen day fast on a diet consisting solely of berries and raw chestnuts' said one source close to the team.

Team spokesman Fr. Vasily the Heavily Accented was also quick to comment. 'Is Outrage!' proclaimed Fr. Vasily. 'Look at other competitors. Is Catholics. Is bear. Is Rabbi. Is Rabbi? Did the Christian Rabbis fast in the 7th-century Palestine? Is such a thing as the Christian Rabbis? I think not. Only Orthodox are true fasters. And perhaps Copts. Copts may be the Non-Chalcedonian Monophysite heretics, but boy can they fast. But perhaps the bears are Orthodox too, no?'

Valanora Times
Running Start

As the days and weeks dwindle down until the start of the upcoming Third Summer Olympiad, the VSC has been dilgently working on making sure that all the neccasary paperwork was filed and other menial tasks were accomplished. Along with running numerous drug tests and getting visas for all of the Vanorian delegation, there was also the issue of deciding on the flag-bearer. After the recommendation from the Great Leader himself that the distinguished Razov family's youngest son be given the honor, the VSC appointed Kir Razov to be the flag-bearer.

For Kir, this will be only his second professional appearance as an athlete. At the age of 480, he is one of the youngest Vanorians in the delegation that will be competiting in Columbia. Many know of his older brother Iklles, who currently plays football in Cafundeu and is apart of the National Team, but little about him or his older sister, Vadriana. Kir will be competiting in two events in the Olympiad, the 4 x 400 m Relay and the Marathon. The speed and endurance of his older brother is found in his feet as well, and he should make his family and country proud.

When looking for the best possibilties for medals for the Vanorian delegation, the best bet will be on the men's football. Despite the fact that the roster has yet to be finalized, the performances in international competitions of late has shown that Vanorian talent runs deep and in quality. In other sports, Mary Applegate seems to be a good contender in women's tennis, and Hadriana Zensan (no relation to Roger) looks like she might off an outside shot in the women's 400 m freestyle. On the whole though, don't be surprised to see our lot not coming home with a medal, as the competitions are fierce and the competitors of the highest quality. Moreover, merely enjoy the fact that soo many nations of the world can put aside their differences for a few weeks and enjoy the spirit of friendly competiton.

Article by Noel Arians

GOING FOR GOLD: THE KRYTENIAN CONTENDERS

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Name: Scott Moreaux
Age: 26
Sport: Athletics

National champion in both sprint disciplines, Moreaux runs for the Bradwell Athletics Club. With a personal best of 9.88 in the 100m, and 19.66 in the 200m, Moreaux will be looking for a sprint treble when the athletics events get underway later in the Games.

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Name: Evan Yates
Age: 22
Sport: Cycling

Youngest of the "Golden Generation" of Krytenian road cycling, Yates is tipped to make his big break here in the UCS. His greatest challengers are expected to be his own countrymen - Matthew Cavendish and Clive Bordemann. Could it be a sky blue one-two-three?

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Name: Ousevale University Rowing Club, Gentleman's Eights Team
Age: 18-25
Sport: Rowing

Eight men, good and true. The spearhead of the massively stong Krytenian rowing team - and hoping to take the Blue Riband of the Olympic regatta - the men's eights. The octet qualified for the Olympics by winning the national trials, beating academic and civic teams to the punch; they then added to their credentials by defeating the University of Avidia in the 74th annual "Blade Of Origin" boat race.

um any idea of when the schedule will be put up. And groups races and stuff

um any idea of when the schedule will be put up. And groups races and stuff
The schedule will be posted when it’s done (certainly not until signups have closed, and almost certainly before the opening ceremony). I’ll try to post groups/fixtures for all the events sometime in that period as well, but I might not do that depending on how much time I have.

okay i knew you would have to wait till signups end, and stuff i just wanted to no at what point. so that should be in a few days great. Ill start thinking up some stuff now.

ATHLETE PROFILE: Michelle Patrick, Cycling
by Jenn Murphy, #1 of ?? in a series

At one time, when people associated the names Newmanistan, and cycling, outsiders would get a big laugh. Newmanistan is an empire driven by the automobile, the origin of our “Rocket” nickname meant to be in relation to the famous rocket-powered engines in which the Empire continuously puts out on the market. Due to this, the bicycle in itself isn’t much more then a hobby, or for something for parents to get their kids involved with to fight off boredom, and then like clockwork, the kids would lose interest in the bikes once they turned legal driving age. Competitive cycling? Not in Newmanistan. Well, you may have a group of 5 people here and there decide to have a race around the block, but that would be about it. There was never a Tour de Newmanistan, or even a thought that their should be one.

This all changed when eight years ago, Newmanistan was the host nation (OOC: For clarification I was simply a host nation, not someone who did the scorination of hosting) of a regional Olympiad, which would of course involve Cycling. Other nations were listed as the prime contenders, and the Empire’s riders were expected to be at the back. 21-year old Michelle Patrick was one of the participants. Michelle was like most Newmanistanians that lost interest in riding a bike once she turned old enough to drive, but when she was a senior in high school, she participated in a study abroad program and was paired up in a nation and with a family that absolutely loved cycling. Michelle thought it was weird, “They would go to the store a few blocks away and ride a bike to get there when they had a car in the driveway. I thought that was just so stupid.” Perhaps, to us, it is. Michelle was enjoying her study abroad time, even with the nagging things of riding a bike, until one day, the family sent her to a closed off road course to race. The family did this every Friday, and they wanted Michelle to participate. Grudingly, Michelle did. If Patrick was going to have to have to do it, she decided she would give it her best, so she did. She won. By a lot. When the family finally joined her at the finish line, Patrick laughed at them, saying as she recalls, “I told them that they didn’t have to let me win like that, and that I wouldn’t have been embarrassed if they all beat me. It took about an hour for them to get me to believe that I truly did kick their butt, and in fact they made me compete against some other people in their club, and I beat them too. I didn’t think I was all that great, but I guess I was.” Her success continued during the two months she was with that family, as she joined competitions for money, and would win, and win again.

Michelle came back to Newmanistan, and told her friends, and she was, as expected, laughed at. She wanted to compete at home, but there was nothing to compete in, so she just trained as much as she could, until that date came when it was announced that the Empire would participate regionally in an Olympics and would need cyclists. Michelle knew this was her opportunity, but thought it was just be a humbling experience. “I didn’t think I would do good and was more worried about making a fool out of myself,” she said. But Michelle won the competition, and won it easily. Her spot on the team made official immediately. “Wow!” I thought, “You know, maybe I am good at this.” Then came the Olympics, where Newmanistan was expected to perfom horribly in cycling. There is no magic golden ending to this story. Michelle did not medal in the competition, but she finished in the top 10 (out of over 100) in every event, including a 4th place in the Road Time Trial. Absolutely unheard of for a Newmanistanian. But there it was.


It was then that Michelle realized that she could use her reputation to improve cycling programs throughout the Empire, and she started cycling clubs around the major cities in the country. There was a somewhat surprising turnout at these clubs too, and maybe there were more people out there like her who loved the sport, but given a lack of opportunity, or being ridiculed for it, they never pursued it. The clubs then organized competitions, and there would be races going on in the Empire. Crowds? No, that would still be a work in progress, but now people had a chance to race. Then, the unthinkable happened three years ago. An actual, organized Tour de Newmanistan, with a $1 million dollar grand prize. Now, cyclists had something that they could shoot for, and the entry list for the event was more then expected. There has since been three such events, and each one draws more entrants, more media coverage, and more fans out there who actually care to watch it. It is something that Patrick hold dear to her heart, “I never in a million years thought I would be the kind of person to do something like this, but I am so proud of it. I never would have known of my talents if I didn’t do the study abroad program, and it really made me wonder how many other people out there had this gift and never knew it. It also really pained me that once I discovered my talent, that there was nothing I could do with it.” Despite all the organizing of these events, Patrick has continued to train hard, and is excited about her chances to win a medal in Columbia, and just maybe, it could be golden. “If I won a medal, in anything, it would be a reward for all I have done, but a great victory for the Empire, and could probably futher establish itself as nation with decent cyclists, and eventually, good and great cyclists. One person that attended a camp of Patrick’s was Debbie Christensen, who will be a teammate of Patrick’s, and could be a solid finisher herself. Christensen attributes her success to Patrick, “It’s obviously a thrill to be a teammate of hers. I would not be here today if not for her though, because I don’t think I would have ever pursued the opportunity.”

There are many good cyclists that will be participating in Columbia. But none of them, or few of them, if any, are an innovator for their sport in their country the way Michelle Patrick is in Newmanistan.

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COLIN CHILLIAD - WATER POLO

The KOC has been getting copies of the National Independent for us, like they usually do so we get to read about ourselves and get all egotistical if one so desires. More often we just laugh at what some of these sportswriters think is going on. Like the one on Saturday, for instance, where they did a whole write-up on the swimming team. A total laugh-riot.

Now I know the media likes to push this happy friendly organic baby unicorns image of Kelssek on everyone, but they're really going crazy with it now that the Olympics are on. So they had Brent Fowles going on about the Olympic spirit and how it's not about the medals.

What. Utter. Bollocks.

No one, and I mean no one, steps out there thinking "I'm going to do my best and if I lose, eh". No, you step out there thinking "I am going to win". If you don't step out there absolutely focused on beating everyone else, you won't. And I know Brent, and I know he's up there on the starting blocks absolutely single-minded about beating everyone else. I assure you the last thing on his mind when that beep goes off is "it's all about the Olympic spirit". The fluffy, cozy "just taking part is good enough" crap is just what you tell the journalists afterwards so they have fluffy, cozy crap to spew for the public. Of course it's not about the medals, because I'm not happy with a medal, I want a gold. Nothing else will suffice. It's the very basics of sports psychology and it's what competing is all about.

Don't let the media convince you otherwise. We're here to win things. End transmisson.

____

4 COMMENTS

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The Albrecht Herald>Sport>Sailing
Izzy… Wizzy… Let’s gut Hannah Paulsgrove in the most unpleasant manner possible
Jason Justice in Columbia

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You certainly can’t accuse Hannah Wisnieski, arguably the most famous woman in the Candelarias until a certain lady President came to power, of lacking a personality.

The C&M Sports Personality of the Year in 2001, 2002 and 2006; the native of Brian, Nr Khatib-Gassett has been in the full glare of the public eye for over a decade. At times, it’s clearly taken its toll. At least a dozen high-profile romantic partners have come and gone, while her very public quarrels with her father and mentor William Wisnieski have frequently made front-page news. She has a mouth on her that is as unrestrained as her sailing is controlled – neither the Candelarias’ sailing authorities, nor her rivals from home and abroad are safe from regularly tongue-bashings. Her long-time rival, Michelle Olson, wouldn’t “be able to hold down any kind of a job, if she didn’t have a boat”. Luca Matrone, her male counterpart, “isn’t fit to lace [her] boots”. After an acrimonious split with fellow racer Max Pounds, she told TV1 that she’d had better sex with her favourite dinghy. And as for Eleigh Roberts, the “precocious little slut” who so vexed her when coming through the ranks in her mid teens? They’re on speaking terms again, which has got to be something.

Bolshy, outspoken and utterly shameless, entirely convinced of her own superiority yet continually reaching for greater results and rewards, Wisnieski is the most un-Candelariasian of Candelariasian national symbols. She laughs when I put that observation to her, but – as ever – is unrepentant.

“I know it’s a cliché, but I honestly couldn’t give a sh*t what the people think of me,” she grins. “I’m a sportswoman, an entertainer… people love watching Hannah Wisnieski win, and win in blue, and win in style… That they hate this character, this Hannah that the press provides for them, I couldn’t care less about that. I know who I am, the people who know me, who actually know me, not the sailing woman from the telly… they’re what matters.”

But does she regret that her memory will be forever tarnished by her antics and remarks away from her beloved boats, I wonder? She’s already a Candelariasian heroine, but doesn’t she want to be loved?

“So, shut up and stick to your boats basically, love,” the woman once known as Wizzy paraphrases, with a glint in her eye. “That’s not going to happen. There’s too many people in this country afraid of saying what they think. People have this stupid idea that if you’re willing to venture an opinion, you must be totally convinced that you’re right. I’d never argue that. Sometimes I think it’s important I speak up, sometimes I wish I didn’t have to do all these inane interviews… but if someone asks me a question, I’ll give them an answer. They can swivel if they don’t like it.”

It goes almost without saying that Wisnieski’s mouth has often detracted from her immense talent, but without where would C&M sailing be? The country has had sailing stars before, male and female, but the quarrelsome girl from inland Brian has single-handedly revolutionised attitudes to the sport in the Candelarias. No longer is it merely a leisure activity – now, a generation has grown up hoping to emulate her path to sporting glory. The glass ceiling of old has long since been shattered, and many of Wisnieski’s team-mates in the Unified Capitalizt States are direct beneficiaries.

Her relationship with Roberts, intermittently her rival, enemy, usurper and protégé, appears back on track since the youngster’s shift to the windsurfing discipline. On a professional level, Wisnieski has nothing but praise for the Abiodun teenager. “What she’s done, switching to what is basically a completely different sport just so that she could make the Olympics… that’s something special. It’s such a different event, and physically so demanding, that it was far from a given that she’d earn selection for the squad, never mind be a contender at world level. All props to her, seriously.”

Roberts’ main challenger is likely to be Cafundelense, and Wisnieski is unabashed over her previous stated conviction that the C&M team would struggle against both they and the Kura-Pellandi squad. “I’m all for bigging yourself up, but there’s nothing wrong with realism. Actually, it’s utterly essential. You’re not going to be a sailor unless you can call a spade a spade and a wave a wave. We’ve got some great sailors, we have, but theirs [of Cafundéu and Kura-Pelland] are better; older, better trained, better equipment, more experienced. For Howard [Fitzgerald, the men’s windsurfer] and Jo and Dani [Joanna Lombardo and Danielle Roman, the women’s two-person dinghy crew] to match my achievements out here… they’re all really going to have to step up a gear or two.”

For all this, Wisnieski insists that the C&M team are a tight group. “There’s plenty of rivalry, of course there is, but we’re not competing against each other here. We’re all in this together, and any medal for C&M is a medal for all of us.”

If that sounds like an atypically Wisnieski attitude, she’s soon back on form when discussing her Kura-Pellandi counterpart. “I’m not going to mess about… I can’t bear the b*tch,” she says of Hannah Paulsgrove. “Absolutely, I’ll take so much pleasure from handing her her arse on a plate.” As for Márcia Jordão? “She’s supposed to be good, but we’ll just have to see what happens on the day.” Predictions? “It’d be stupid of me to say ‘I’m going to win’, or anything like that. It’s a strong field, so who knows. I just happen to think I am going to win, that’s all.”

She grins, and, as ever, it’s impossible to know whether you are speaking to the athlete, the ‘character ‘or the person currently inhabiting the body known as Hannah Wisnieski. But whoever she is, this much is undoubted – should she take gold, she will be an icon to a generation of young sailors far beyond the Candelarias. Perhaps then she’ll give a sh*t.


Bowling for Columbia
Fernando López in Nyton

The Candelarias Lawn Bowls Association could’ve thrown a strop, when their sport failed to earn selection as a demonstration event at the third Olympics, at the expense of its little-known cousin, bocce. Since the announcement was confirmed however, the CLBA declined to sit on its hands. Within hours the organisation was in the early stages of scouring the country for the best bocce players, in the hope of assembling four contenders for Columbia.

It’s to the credit of the skill and tactical complexity of the game that the winners of the national heats late last month were all long-time bocce players, rather than bowls aficionados. Drawn from those minority communities where the sport still prospers, the team is led by Júnior Chaves de Souza – or Exatidão, as the Cafundelense-born player is known to his friends in downtown Arrigo. Aged thirty-six, Júnior is a Candelariasian of some nine years standing, and something of a bocce missionary. The very image of concentration during his games, and an infectious bundle of enthusiasm the rest of the time; the Lasft native is more than happy to tell anyone who’ll listen that – under his tutelage – the Candelarias’ second city is developing a group of young bocce stars to rival anything in his homeland.

None will be in Columbia, bar those present to cheer their mentor on, since the CLBA opted to send Alessandro Fattizzo as his partner. No slouch himself; Fattizzo is the more aggressive player, his skills honed in the streets of Lindsay, Albrecht, where the sport among the predominately Italian and Latino population of the district reaches often violent proportions. Shin pads are a prerequisite.

Fattizzo’s second cousin, Gabby Sovengi, is on the women’s team, alongside Lauren Filipovic. A twenty-two year-old native of Nyton, West Candelaria; Lauren is a mighty all-round athlete, though not quite of an international standard in her preferred javelin discipline. Bocce, for her, was simply a past-time; and by her own admission the idea of representing C&M internationally at the ball sport had never occurred to her before last month.

“I’ve played with little balls since before I could walk,” Lauren explained when we met at the teams’ final training session on Candelariasian soil, “it’s just part of our community’s heritage. And I’ve always been good. But I only went along to the trials for a bit of fun, really. I certainly didn’t think I’d be training for the Games within a fortnight.”

Despite her common Anglo first name and unmistakably Western accent (she regularly slips into thees and thous throughout our conversation); Filipovic is a Serbian-speaker by birth, part of the community that has made the language the second-most spoken in the west and south-west of Candelaria, and the sixth in C&M as a whole.

“We leapfrogged Irish [Gaelic], Polish and Urdu at the last census,” she told me enthusiastically, “but people still tend to look at you like you’ve got two heads when you explain you’re not a city kid. As a population we’ve had such a huge impact on the west over the last couple of decades, and it’s not really been recognised properly by the urban media. So, for me, this is a great opportunity to put my community – actually, the whole of western Candelaria – in the spotlight for a bit.”

As for the bocce itself, can either team pick up one of the six pseudo-medals on offer? “Cafundéu are obviously going to win both,” Filipovic admits, “but who knows beyond that? I honestly believe both of our teams have got a shot. As long as we’re in amongst it, and people back home can get an idea of what a wonderful sport we have here, that’s all that matters.”

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When the first Coocoostani delegation to the Olympics walked out of the athlete's village. People noticed. Enough so that when the Coocoostan Olympic Committee attempted to send roughly the same team again, President Andrei Pakhomov stepped in, replacing the olympic brass with former cyclist Sergei Buznikin. The results were noticeable, Buznikin managed to secure 10 athletes who wouldn't have gone, plus expand the sailing program, but the damage had largely been done already.

Coocoostan's swimmers for example, will not be going. A combination of positive drug tests in domestic competition, plus irregularities in those invited, plus an accident with pool chemicals forcing the cancellation of the olympic trials put a stop to that. Cycling completely ignores the velodrome events, and is not expected to medal. The best baseball players in the country are still at home, playing the professional season and refusing to pause, but that's alright, because in the case of the Aubrey Whales, they'd rather think about moving abroad anyhow. the track and field team IS the same as last time, only with some athletes somewhat improved (Jason Nash, High Jump) and some exactly where they were a year ago (Yuri Grebeshkov,Sprinter).

Still, there are bright spots. The baseball team that did come is made up of the stars of the Under 18 National Championship and College Kings Series, both of which were the best in years. The sailing team of Mark Noble and Laureen Newman, both of Aubrey, has expanded into two person events, while starting a development program back home. Newman says some sailors will be ready for the next competition, albiet at a lower skill level. With Newman, 48, retiring after these games, someone will be thrust into her shoes. The Men's Water Polo team looks strong and eager to improve on their bronze medal in the last Olympics. Combine that with the experience against key Rival Kelssek for two-thirds of the team in the Kelssekian Professional NWPL and they look good to match or improve.

But the real cornerstone is again the boxing team, which won 4 of the 7 medals last olympics and looks even better. A strong olympic trials produced good entries at most of the middle weights, plus at the lower end as well. With a few female fighters, the team could win the boxing tournament.

Where is Columbia, what state is it in? Where is the nearest airport?

Hannah Paulsgrove knows what she's in for in terms of competition. Hannah Wisnieski isn't someone she's worrying about anymore.

'That's just talked up because of the history of our countries as friendly sporting rivals,' claimed the Kura-Pellandi Hannah. 'I guess sharing a first name means something too, as does her approach.' But in terms of who she's worried about? 'I'm only worried about the Cafundelense competitors. If I beat them, I'll get gold.'

Words that will be laughed at all across the Rushmori archipelago (and beyond) if 'Wizzy' (or any of the myriad outsiders) takes gold. And as if to go back on her words, Paulsgrove conceded that 'there's no more unpredictable sport than sailing - you're always at the mercy of the weather for a start' - words for the outsiders to savour. Every underdog has their day, especially on the water, and when Paulsgrove said 'I know I can win regardless' in a recent interview, you sense that she of all people must have known that the 'can' is the imperative word here, and applies to at least three of her rivals.

Where is Columbia, what state is it in? Where is the nearest airport?
Columbia is on the south-central coast of Paleoparipia (the northern large island on the UCS map (http://www.thirdgeek.com/maps/paripana)), in the state of Bedistan. The main airport servicing Columbia is Esther Marchese International Airport.

From MSPN--

Today we present the first of our series of athlete profiles, taking a look at some of our medal hopefuls. We begin with tennis player Christa Schiller.

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Tennis phenom or prima donna? Shoe-in or arrogant b***h? These are the questions that have surrounded Tennis Champion Christa Schiller from the start of her career. Schiller's career has never lacked for accolades or controversy. Since breaking on to the tennis scene 12 years ago at age 16, Schiller's play has captivated audiences, and her off-court antics have raised eyebrows even among a nation known for being laid-back and accepting. Schiller has won 5 National titles -- and has just as often been eliminated in the first round of the Championships. It's her unflagging confidence in the face of such inconsistency, and her well-known aversion to the press (Schiller refused an interview for MSPN.com in a profanity-laced response whose general gist was "leave me alone!") that have saddled her with the charge of arrogance. Still, the 28-year-old Chicago native delivers -- usually. Her play at the Nationals this year was among her finest. She beat her final opponent, Tina Fallon, in straight sets 6-2 6-1 6-0 6-0. Fallon failed to score a single point in the final set. Schiller displayed what critics charge was an immature lack of graciousness upon her victory, dismissing Fallon as "an unworthy opponent". However, when she herself was ousted two years earlier by Fallon, the excuses were legion: her racket was warped, the court had been improperly tended after heavy rains, she even went so far as to blame her "monthly time" for her loss. She has been known to launch blistering criticisms at any opponent, even her (on- and off- court) partner, Irina Tcherpova. The big question for her is: which Schiller will show up? The nearly unbeatable champion or the spoiled brat?

Le Quotidien sportif illustré (en ligne)
OLYMPIANS (part 2)

Today we continue our overview of Team Ariddian Isles’ Olympians, from the great stars to the currently obscure.

In Querzakhi, Ariddia finished eighth on the medal chart (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=525321&page=4), with 44 medals, of which 17 gold. These are the men and women aiming to improve on that result.

GOING FOR GOLD

5. Abdel Andresen
age: 27
events entered: gymnastics (men’s artistic; men’s rhythmic individual; men’s rhythmic group; men’s trampoline)
most dangerous opponents:
- artistic: Miguel Darcellos (CAF), André Viriato Gago (CAF), Nicolae Teporescu (PRB), Dannie Boyle (UBT), team of Secristan (SEC), team of Estresse Intenso (EIT)
- rhythmic: Nicolae Teporescu (PRB), Humberto Paz (EIT), Tarcísio Coelho (EIT)
- trampoline: Renato Fischer (CAF), Luiz Augusto Flamengo (EIT), João Carlos Mattar (EIT)

Abdel Andresen, who will carry the Ariddian flag during the Games’ opening ceremony, is no stranger to success at international competitions. Four years ago, at the most recent Olympic Games, he won gold in the team all around, gold in the group’s rhythmic, gold in the trampoline, and bronze in the floor exercise. Before that, he had won a gold and a bronze at the Ashford Olympics, as well as four medals (a gold, two silver and a bronze) at the Ylompic Games. A tremendously skilful athlete in his own right, he is also a member of the “Dream Team”, by far the most successful male gymnastics team in Olympic history. Andresen says that he intends to win “at least” three more gold medals in Columbia, but the Dream Team faces stiffer competition than ever before. As they head into their third Olympics, are they ready for the challenge?

A. ANDRESEN: “Absolutely. And looking forward to it to. The whole point of being at the Olympics is to compete against the very best. I’m hoping it’ll be difficult.”

QSI.EL: “At present, Ariddians are the acknowledged gymnastics superpower. After your double artistic team golds in Ashford and Querzakhi, you could have rested on your laurels and given younger gymnasts the responsibility of defending your Olympic title. Are you concerned that falling short of repeating your past performances would damage the Dream Team’s image, or are you confident?”

A. ANDRESEN: “Confident. Not arrogant, but confident. I’m not thinking about failure. I’m lucky in the sense that I know I can win gold, and that we can win gold as a team. We’ve done it before, and we can do it again. No, I wouldn’t like the idea of resting on my laurels. We’ve been the champions for the past four years, and now that our Olympic titles are up for challenge, we have to defend them. That’s good, and I’m glad to be here to do that. Also, we have got a younger gymnast with us. Michael, Sae, Jang, Denis and I are the old guard, but Ih is the fresh talent in our team.”

QSI.EL: “Your success has inspired more Ariddians to take up gymnastics. But people in other countries seem to have taken it up too. We’ve seen an upsurge in talent in foreign countries recently.”

A. ANDRESEN: “Yes, and that’s quite fantastic. Gymnastics are becoming more and more popular, and more and more competitive. Well, especially the women’s competition, but it’s true for the men as well, to a lesser degree.”

QSI.EL: “Speaking of the Golden Girls, they’re in for a serious challenge, indeed.”

A. ANDRESEN: “Yes, but they’re still the best.” (smiles) “They have amazing talent, and they’ll win gold.”

QSI.EL: “Among the men, who’s your biggest opponent?”

A. ANDRESEN: “Oh, I wouldn’t like to say. We take all our opponents very seriously. But I’m not too concerned about how they perform. We’ll be focusing on how we perform.”

QSI.EL: “You’ll be carrying the Ariddian flag at the opening ceremony…”

A. ANDRESEN: “Yes!”

QSI.EL: “Can you tell us how you’ll be dressed? I understand the C.O.A. has given everyone the choice: either Wymgani leaf clothing, or casual red and black shirt and shorts.”

A. ANDRESEN: (laughs) “I don’t know yet.”

QSI.EL: “It’s been said that you’re stronger now because you’re more experienced.”

A. ANDRESEN: “I don’t know know about ‘stronger’, but yes, we’re more experienced. We have Olympic experience that some of our competitors lack. I don’t know whether that will help us. On the other hand, we have a title to defend – we retain it, or we lose it. Our opponents have everything to win, nothing to lose.”

QSI.EL: “If you don’t mind a more personal question, I’m told congratulations are in order?”

A. ANDRESEN: (smiles) “Thanks. My girlfriend is due to give birth about two or three weeks after the Games. So I’ll be hurrying home as soon as I’ve competed. We’re having a daughter, Clémentine, and I’m hoping to bring her back several gold medals. Perhaps one for every member of the family!”

6. Christina Zhang
age: 36
events entered: fencing (women’s foil)
most dangerous opponent: Ana Luiza Prado (CAF)

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Zhang finished first in Ashford, fourth in Querzakhi.

Four years ago in Querzakhi, Christina Zhang’s double loss, in the semi-final and in the bronze medal match, was arguably the greatest disappointment experienced by Ariddia’s Olympic delegation and its supporters. Everyone had expected Zhang, the defending Olympic Champion after her gold in Ashford, to win at least a medal of some colour. Her unexpected defeat meant that Ariddia’s medals in Querzakhi came essentially in judo, gymnastics and football. Competing now in Columbia, Zhang aims to ensure that fencing features once more on the list of her country’s successes.

With Julien Bérard, Julien Beaulieu, Esh La and Pierre N’guemo all strong Ariddian representatives in men’s fencing events, Zhang is Ariddia’s only female fencer. She is also the country’s best medal hope in that sport. Her string of victories in Ashford is still fresh in the minds of many.

Fencing has a dedicated fan base in the Ariddian Isles, particularly in the PDSRA. An Olympic gold would, no doubt, help draw further beginners into the sport.

C. ZHANG: “I’ve put Querzakhi behind me. And I’m not relying on my past form from eight years ago, either. These are new Games, a new competition, new opponents. I have everything to prove again.”

QSI.EL: “Obviously you’re aiming for a gold. But what kind of result would you consider acceptable, in terms of your performance?”

C. ZHANG: “You mean, would I be satisfied with a silver medal? No. In all honesty, I have to say I wouldn’t. I mean, it would still be an achievement, but gold is what I’m really aiming for, and I’ll be disappointed if I fall short.”

QSI.EL: “Fencing isn’t much of a spectator sport yet, on the international stage. If some spectators aren’t sure who you are, is that a handicap or an advantage?”

C. ZHANG: “Oh, it’s not something that I care about, really. If I win, they’ll see my name, and I suppose I’ll have my moment of fame. I’ll be in the spotlight and all that. But I’m not competing to be internationally famous. I’m doing it as a personal challenge, and also for family, friends and country. And for everyone who’s supported me. Besides, the host country have entered three women in my event, so I suppose the spectator benches won’t be entirely empty.” (smiles)

QSI.EL: “The media have identified Ana Luiza Prado of Cafundéu as your most dangerous opponent. Would you agree with that?”

C. ZHANG: “Uhm… I assume I’ll meet her at some point, and that’s an encounter I’ve been preparing for, yes. But all the fencers who get to the Olympics are dangerous.”

QSI.EL: “How are conditions in Columbia?”

C. ZHANG: “As always, the hosts are being good hosts. The weather’s good, although that won’t affect me one way or the other. Accomodation is good, food is good… I’ve got no complaints whatsoever. Conditions are optimal. These are going to be great Games.”


GIVING IT THEIR BEST

7. Juliette Perrault
age: 30
events entered: athletics (women’s marathon)

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Perrault will represent the Ariddian Isles in the marathon.

The Ariddian Isles have never won an Olympic medal in athletics, and Juliette Perrault doesn’t expect to be the first. When asked about her ambition for the Columbia Games, she says she hopes to finish the marathon “in the top 75%”. That would almost certainly mean she had improved on her personal best, which currently stands at 2:49:18. Perrault is one of many Ariddian athletes who are at the Games not to win gold, but to gain experience, and surpass their own previous performances. She will be accompanied in the women’s marathon by fellow Ariddian Wahibah Terence.

J. PERRAULT: “Being here is quite an experience. I’m grateful for the opportunity. And I’m determined to prove that sending me here wasn’t a mistake. My objective is to log a good finishing time, in relation to what I’ve been doing so far. Of course, actually completing the marathon is essential. I’ve put a lot of training into it. I’ve been running outdoors in and around Columbia. That way, I’m sightseeing while I practice!”

QSI.EL: “Can you tell us a little about yourself?”

J. PERRAULT: “When I’m not running, I’m a nurse. I’m married, I have a son. I live in a small town called Ruisselin, on Ocea. I run the town’s local athletics club, and help organise marathon and other running events for people in the area every year. I always win the marathon in my town [smiles] but the Olympics is something different. Still, I’m trying not to be awed. Once I get started, it’s just another race that I’ll be determined to finish.”

8. Helen Mints
age: 29
events entered: handball

It is quite possible many Ariddian Islanders are not yet aware that Ariddia has teams competing in handball at the Columbia Olympics. Handball is not what you might call a quintessentially Ariddian sport, although it has a small but dedicated community of followers. At the Querzakhi Games, the Ariddian women’s handball team failed to reach the quarter-finals, while neighbouring Ropa-Topia went all the way to the final and won silver. These results generated fairly little interest, and have no doubt largely been forgotten.

If Helen Mints has her way, the team’s performance this year will be memorable. Standing at 1m85, Mints could have been a basketball player. Her green eyes, set in a face framed with frizzy, fiery red hair, match her family name, and reflect her eagerness to compete.

H. MINTS: “We’ll be fairly anonymous. I don’t think many people will know who we are. But the important thing is that we do our best, and achieve something. I think it’ll be crucial to win our first match. If we do something that people remember, perhaps handball will become more popular back home.”

Mints tells us that she’s a train driver, and also works with the local housing planning authorities in her home town of Greentop. She “partied hard” after qualifying for the Olympics, and has spent the time since then training even harder. She may not be a Christina Zhang, or a football player, but here’s hoping that she and her teammates will receive strong support from back home.

From the Series "COC List Stars for Columbia":

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COC List Stars - Márcia Jordão (Sailing)

We, the editors of this magazine article, didn't intend to make the first article about our best athletes in these Summer Olympics with her, but her sport became so much commented lately that we understood that it wouldn't be fair if she didn't appear here. After all, sailing is one of the best sports of the Cafundelenses, and Márcia Jordão is one of our most promising athletes. Already a winner in national competitions, she now aims the international ones, being one of the favourites to win the gold medal in the Laser-class Sailing (known as One-person Dinghy too).

In the press, there have been a lot of comments and articles concerning the female Laser-class Sailing competition, the one in which Márcia is involved. Her biggest opponents, Hannah Paulsgrove from Kura-Pelland and Hannah Wisnieski from Candelaria And Marquez, started to heat the climate of the dispute, and seem to be ready to defeat each other. Their rivalry is big, and Márcia can even benefit from this. After all, her opponents can end being so focused in defeat each other that wouldn't turn their attention to Márcia Jordão. But her hopes of seeing it happen seem to be short.

This happens because, in the articles released by foreign newspaper, her name ever appears. Hannah Paulsgrove even said that her biggest threat was Márcia, not Wisnieski. And the Candelaria And Marquez athlete also warned to the fact that, while she knows Paulsgrove's style (knowing how to defeat her this way), she still doesn't know about Márcia's tactics, something that transforms the experienced Cafundelense in her biggest threat. So, although rivalry is big between the "Hannahs", they are also looking forward to the dispute against Jordão.

Inside Cafundéu, she is already a known athlete, a very experienced one, winning many competitions and holding the title of best Laser-class Sailing athlete of the country (among the women) for many years. She has many years of career, and is ready to dispute the gold medal. But she warns the supporters: "I think I have everything to win the gold medal. But Paulsgrove and Wisnieski have these characteristics too. So, it'll depend much more in what happens during the sailing events than to our general abilities. We can even be surprised by another athlete."

And, although we are talking mostly about Márcia Jordão, we cannot forget that Sailing represents one of the best opportunities for Cafundéu to get medals. Not only in the Laser-class, in the both male and female competitions, but also in the Star, Mistral and other classes, where our Cafundelense athletes seem ready to face their opponents to fight for the gold medals. Even in the windsurf Cafundéu sent good athletes, and can finish in the first place. So, if there's a sport in which the Cafundelenses want to put their hopes in, Sailing is one.

From MSPN--

We now present part two of our series of athlete profiles with this look at boxer George Holmes.

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Courage. Tenacity. Foolishness. These are words used to describe former Heavyweight Champion and Olympic gold medalist George Holmes (shown here in the red-trimmed shorts). Holmes held the Heavyweight title longer than any boxer in Maineiacs history, more than seven years. But Holmes lost that title six years ago, and after the Querzaki Olympics, he had announced his retirement. When the UCS announced they would again be hosting an olympic games, Holmes came out of retirement to defend his Olympic title.

Immediately, many questioned the wisdom of such a move. Four years ago, at age 37, Holmes was already the oldest member of our Olympic team. Now, at age 41, he will be facing competitors, some of whom are younger than his own son, George Jr (age 21). Holmes has ignored the nay-sayers, and dismisses the notion that he cannot compete at the same level as men half his age ("Let the little whipper-snappers bring it on!", he quips). Holmes says that he is in the best shape of his life, and that he has a focus now that he lacked when he was their age. "I'm far more able to keep my mind on my goal than I would have been at that age." he said. "In my younger days, I was too easily distracted by all the diversions that celebrity can bring."

Distractions, indeed. As a young boxer, Holmes was known for an extravagant and flamboyant lifestyle. Fast cars, fast women, alledged (though never proven) steroid use. Holmes credits his wife, Rowena, with changing his life. "She saved me," he says. "She was what turned me around. If not for her, I'd never have made it to this point."

Mrs. Holmes has stood by her husband through all the twists and turns of his life, and has supported his current comeback, but at a price. "Ro' made me promise to stay retired after this." he said with a chuckle.

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KOC aims for a top 5 finish

By: Jane Fonseca
August 5, 2008

COLUMBIA -- Stay where we were.

That's the target that the Kelssek Olympic Committee has set for the Olympics in Columbia, Unified Capitalizt States which begin with what is expected to be a spectacular opening ceremony this Friday. Fifth spot is where Kelssek finished last year's event in Querzakhi with a dizzying haul of 27 golds, 27 silvers and 14 bronzes.

It was an unexpectedly strong performance in which sports Kelssek was not expecting anything from contributed immensely, and it's a refutation of the pessimism pervading the media as journalists and pundits consider the intense competition in the sport where expectations are the highest: swimming.

Amid a chorus of warnings not to expect the same success again, the KOC has ignored the naysayers and set the target high: finish in the top five.

"Do we expect that we will reach that target? Absolutely yes." says chef-de-mission James O'Donnell. "In fact, we are hoping to do even better, and if we do not improve on fifth place we expect to increase the number of medals won."

Some analysts agree. One key point is that young swimming star Phillipe Destry underperformed in Querzakhi and can be expected to step things up this time, hopefully compensating for what the rest of the swimming team might lose against the challenge from Newmanistan and Krytenia, among others.

And Kelssek's Olympic delegation isn't all swimming, they assert.

The KBC's Dan Macritch, anchor of Hockey Night In Kelssek who will be anchoring the coverage for the public broadcaster, which has wrested the national broadcast rights back from the National Sports Network, is one of the optimists.

"The secondary scoring, if you pardon the clumsy metaphor, has the potential to be very strong once again. As for the increased competition I wouldn't worry too much. Of course we might lose some medals with more nations and athletes, but so will everyone else. And if you talk to any athlete they'll tell you competition just motivates you even more."

Others, however, say the KOc is just setting up the nation for disappointment.

"When we are able to field competitors in every sport, then we can truly count ourselves among the Olympic powerhouses. We simply got lucky last time, and we aren't going to get back there except through more luck." says columnist Aaron Kingsley, whose sports column appears in over 40 papers nationwide. "It's not like before where we picked up some medals because we were the best among a mediocre field. This time it's different, very different."

With additional reporting from Javier Slivic in Kirkenes.

2am

A fleet of white coaches pulled up outside T1 of Sigma City International (SCX). "We're gonna be late!" yelped the commissioner, "No time for that now.". He pushed his hand in towards the media.

The delegation was rushed through Passport Control, customs and baggage by the Duaaner; as the media were being escorted into the runway viewing area. A bus rushed the athletes and their people over to the flagship jet, Discovery. Cabin doors were closed, and the national anthem boomed out of truck-mounted speakers at the side, making the viewers jump.

Discovery drifted into position and took to the skies.

--8 HOURS LATER--

"Yes, that's right, we're in sunny Bedistan, and on the BNHS-8 to COLUMBIA!"
*cheering*
"I can see the stadia!"
"I can see the sea!"
"I can see the cow!"
"Cow?"

The coach just ploughed into it.

"Ahh shit" moaned the driver, "well at least something went wrong now instead of in the final of the 800m."
The coach chuckled.

The Albrecht Herald>Un-PC Tuesday Special Edition>Sport>Gymnastics
Fighter Jen ready to hit Columbia Heights
Jennifer Guerra in Columbia

More than physical prowess, more than natural talent and back-breaking exertion, the Olympic Games are about Humanity. Nations and their sporting organisations may value every leg up on the medals table, but it is the individual stories that provide the greatest drama. And few such can tug at the heartstrings more than that of Jennifer Smith.

Brought up in Ardanza – a small, predominately Anglo town on the outskirts of Arrigo – Jenni lived with her father Steve, mother Elizabeth and younger sister Amber. Having met in college and married young, the Smiths travelled across the estrecho innomado to take up new jobs as dynamic optimisation analysts. After several years of service at the same firm, Steve and Elizabeth took the plunge to set up the first Candelariasian branch of the continental Rushmori data administration company Vancommunice Inc, the family spent nearly nine months living in nearby Switzaland – Jenni and Amber are now both fluent French and German speakers – before returning home. It wasn’t always easy for Steve in particular to find time for his daughters, but the family benefited from a close support network including neighbours and grandparents; Elizabeth’s mother Alice has lived at the family home for the last year, after her the girls’ grandfather George passed away in his sleep. Having made a success of their business, Elizabeth works mainly from home while Steven considers himself semi-retired.

Jenni discovered gymnastics aged five and, though concerned that their daughter’s love of the sport could damage her academic studies, her parents were never less than supportive. With Arrigo the centre of gymnastics in Marquez, Jenni was able to benefit from the tutelage of the acclaimed ex-professional Vera Khapsaev, who recognised the girl’s talent at an early age and was always on hand to provide extra coaching and to ferry her to meets across Rushmore on those rare occasions when a family member was unavailable.

From eleven, Jenni was wowing crowds across C&M. Never the slightest-built of girls; her combination of physical strength, poise, grace and technical solidity underlined her future as one of the country’s most valuable talents. Her schoolwork was scaled back as she entered her teens, though she excelled in maths and poetry at Ardanza Comprehensive School. She remained close to her parents, grandmother and sister – a talented dancer, though her real passion is archaeology – despite her long periods away from home. And now she stands on the brink of global glory.

Jenni collects porcelain frogs.

If there is such a thing as the ‘Candelariasian Dream’, then surely the Smiths have been living it. And the seventeen year-old Olympic hopeful admits that at times it has worn her down. “Life hasn’t always been easy for me,” Jenni told TV1 last week. “I come from a nice part of the country, with two great parents, who never really had to scrimp and save to help me reach my goals. I got chicken pox quite badly when I was little, and fractured my left ankle in two places when I was nine, but that’s about it. I’ve never suffered from an eating disorder or an emotional imbalance, I’ve never really had to fight to get where I am today. And most of the other kids at school are pretty straight-edge, so I can’t say that the temptations outside sport have ever bothered me much. When you compare that to some of the other girls at the Olympics… let’s just say it puts me at a real disadvantage. I’ve got, like, four limbs for one thing.”

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Her background has gifted her little state funding, nor the international attention afforded to some of her competitors, despite the respect shown for her on the tour. For reasons that frankly allude me, the women’s gymnastics is arguably the toughest event at the entire Olympics, and Jenni knows that she carries the nation’s hopes in Columbia’s main indoor stadium almost entirely on her shoulders. The C&M women’s team is superior to the male counterparts, but only barely, and Smith’s team-mates will be reduced to little more than a supporting role. Though Smith’s veteran status belies her young years; Caires’ Pippa Ashby (pictured, above left, with Smith) will lead the team as one of the eldest and most experienced in the field, while on the pommel horse in particular, eighteen year-old Khatib-Gassett native Basima Al-Jaber may have an outside chance of a bronze, assuming her khimar doesn’t get in the way. Little Echo Petronis may also have a chance to shine if the fates align in Columbia.

But, against the incredibly strong fields of Ariddia, Cafundéu, Newmanistan and Secristan, only our Jen retains even a distant realistic hope of breaking through. And, if she can tackle Columbia in the manner she has every obstacle put before her so far, there’s every chance of her doing just that.


Hurricane Dean converges on Bedistan
Clyde Rivera in Columbia

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight; it’s the size of the fight in the dog. The Candelarias may be small but, as the Hun learnt to their eternal cost at Passchendale, our men will fight to the last, no matter what the odds.

The wiry Maidment southpaw, Dean Comley, heads C&M’s hopes in the Olympic boxing. An aggressive terrier of a fighter, his skills honed in a hundred street battles for life and limb; the bantamweight faces a tough field, but his hopes are high. His Olympic encounters will be just another stage on the life-long battle that is Deano.

A five-month community supervision order two years ago for aggravated public smoking, focussed his mind and led him into the arms of boxing. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without finding boxing,” Deano readily concedes. “My life was going nowhere; me mum was at wit’s end. I was getting Cs in Eng Lit and History; it was pretty obvious that school was taking me nowhere fast.”

And then his headmaster, Scott Decker, directed him towards the noblest sport of them all, and to nationwide renown. “Two years ago, I’d never put on a pair of gloves before, except when I was pruning me mum’s roses and that. Now, they’re like a part of me. I barely take them off, I’m one with them. You know, like the woman who sat on the toilet for two years and had to be, like, cut off it? I’m like that with me gloves.”

Twenty-four months later, and Deano packs one hell of a punch. His weaker potential opponents – Flobertie Dadin of Cafundéu, Georgie Bentley of Kura-Pelland and Chuckie Kern of Sorthern Northland (Deano himself is of partial Northlandish stock, but that goes without saying) among them – better fear for their brain matter.

Small he may be, but make no mistake – Deano’s a contender. Alleana’s Fred Starman and the Landau Institute’s Professor Marco Guila are his biggest opponents – don’t expect much of the freakish Muscle Marys of One Big Island, despite the hype. “This is so important to me,” Deano stresses. “I’m doing this for my girl, for my kid… I mean, I don’t have either of that yet, but when I do, I want to be able to look my boy in the eye and tell him – Dean Junior, your daddy’s an Olympic champion.”

Elsewhere, Eddie ten Heuvel may have an outside shot in the welterweight division, and there’s even a woman among the travelling party, which is odd; but C&M’s best chances of fighting gold comes in the judo. There’s no comparison between Deano and his judoka counterpart, Yoon Sung-Young. The son of model immigrants to Deano’s northern white trash; Yoon is the reigning Rushmori under-19 champion in his weight class, and was fêted as Sportsman of the Year at the Young Ethnic Achievers awards ceremony in May, his gong presented to him by the former President Anderson.

Yet, despite all the support of central government and the CJA, Yoon faces one hell of a challenge. Andrew Gillard of Kelssek, Masashi Sunako of Secristan and – most worrying of all – Joe Kabir of Ariddia, all stand between the Albrecht youngster and Olympic gold.

THE ROCKET REPORT

FANS CHOICE AWARDS

Later today, most of the Newmanistanian delegation will fly out to Columbia and get a jump on getting familiar with the country and their surroundings before the Olympics actually begin. On that note, us at the Rocket Report decided what better day then today to go out on the streets of the Empire and ask the fans to vote in several different categories, the most likely or most suitable Newmanistanian representative that fits the category description. Our staff kept track of the responses, and the winner of each award was the one that received the most mentions. Simple enough, right? You’d be surprised at how many different responses we got for each.

Category: Athlete likely to win most medals.
Winner: Jennifer Conlin

– Not a bad choice considering Conlin is in a total of nine events, with the ability to win a gold in all nine of them. Sure, she will have other contenders, but she is the obvious choice for most. Jennifer will be competing 50, 100, & 200m Freestyle, the 100m & 200m Backstroke, the 100m Breaststroke, and in three relays. Exhaustion will not be an issue for Jennifer, due to the shorter distances. Her leaving Columbia with at least one medal is probably the biggest “sure thing” that the Empire will have in the Olympiad. And that ties in to the next category.

Category: Athlete most likely win at least one medal.
Winner: Jennifer Conlin

– This was kind of a no-brainer as its easy to pick the person participating in the most events, so here were some of the other people receiving votes in this category: Fellow swimmers Lauren Biron, Dave Perotti, and Matt Clemons. Out of the pool, top vote getters were Michelle Rancourt & Brittany Wright (athletics), Andrew Payne (boxing), and the four regular equestrian riders.

Category: Event most likely to have Newmanistan sweep the podium.
Winner: Individual Dressage (Equestrian)

– The swimmers couldn’t get this one since there were only two entrants per nation in those events, and this is the case in many events, so a sweep will be a very rare occurrence in Columbia. But if Newmanistan is going to do it, then Equestrian is probably the best place to look. Both our riders and our horses should be amongst the class of the competition, plus this is an event that not a lot of other nations seem to be putting a lot emphasis on.

Category: Athlete most likely to appear in most commercials during the telecasts.
Winner: Brittany Phillips (Beach Volleyball)

– Well, it’s true that companies are lining up to get Brittany’s services in endorsements, and she has signed with two businesses that generally show a lot of advertisements during sporting events anyway. Among the things Brittany have some kind of a role in its advertisements include: Beer, Lingerie, Condoms, Car Insurance, and Power Tools. Also receiving a lot of votes include Jeremy McAllister (association football) and Brian Gallows (boxing).

Category: Athlete most likely to win over Columbia fans.
Winner: Jennifer Conlin (Swimming)

– This category got the most athletes mention in its voting. And perhaps it isn’t a fair question as many Newmanistanians pointed out that they don’t really know what the common everyday Columbia native is attracted too. Conlin picked up her third fans’ choice award probably more by default then anything else.

Category: Athlete most likely to piss off Columbia fans.
Winner: Kevin Charlton (Boxing)

– Charlton is known not to particularly care what people think, and can be pretty disrespectful of other nationalities at home, so when he gets to the Capitalizt States, if he doesn’t watch it, he probably is the most likely to get on their bad side. Most of the fans realize this. Though, being a boxer, that might not be a bad thing if he takes his frustrations out on his opponents.


Category: Biggest sleeper to medal
Winner: Tom Parsons (shooting)

– The purpose of this category was to vote for the athlete that isn’t really seen as a top contender to win a medal right now, but could surprise everyone. It’s purpose was not to pick the most “unlikely”, as in someone you thought would completely do horribly. That comes in the next category. Parsons actually ended up being a pretty popular pick, almost to the point to make you wonder if he should even be a sleeper in these events.

Category: Most likely to “stink up” their event.
Winner: Mark Tholen (Canoeing)

– This award was pretty well divided between all athletes participating in canoeing or sailing, really making you wonder why we are even sending them to Columbia. Tholen was the lucky person to get the most votes for this dubious distinction.

Category: Event most likely to spoil another nation's medal hopes in same event.
Winner: Women's Artistic Gymnastics

-- Obviously many Newmanistanians have heard the reports of the skill of the Ariddian team to give this edge to our own. Make no mistake, that we do not look at our athletes as sleepers and feel that they will be the best in the competition. Our fans believe that there will be sky blue and white on the podium with the Ariddians, that is, if they can join us!

Category: The strangest event
Winner: Summer Vigil Fasting

– Most Newmanistanians think the event sounds cool, but many people wonder how you’re actually going to keep score. Given that this “sport” is about faith and devotion, rather then athletic ability, it’s impossible to call. You know that most of the men, most of whom are men of the Lord, will have plenty of motivation. The Archregimancy is considered the overwhelming favorite, but don’t count out the others!

Category: Coolest event that should play more other than in the Olympics.
Winner: Handball

– A surprising amount of votes for this sport. But is it enough to call for someone to organize and start the Newmanistan Handball League anytime soon? Probably not.

Category: Demonstration event that should be a medal event.
Winner: Lacrosse

– The runaway winners here were lacrosse and American football, but given our nation’s love and passion for the great game of lacrosse, it shouldn’t come as any surprise that it was what came out on top. Newmanistan’s recent title in the World Lacrosse Championships show that we have the ability to back it up on the field, making us a favorite to win.

Category: Medal event that should be a demonstration event.
Winner: (tie) Men’s & Women’s 50k Walk

– You’re not going to get anyone in Newmanistan to believe that walking is a sport. It’s not just the concept that blows people’s mind, it’s also the understanding that Newmanistan likes for things to go fast. Fast, like Rockets.


Category: Team sport most likely to medal.
Winner: Women’s baseball.

– Well, if you watched the recent World Baseball Classic, you know that in Newmanistan, women play this sport extremely well, which is why the fans are optimistic that they will have success in the U.C.S. You can’t really blame them for having that kind of optimism.


Category: Team sport most likely to finish last.
Winner: Field Hockey (Men’s)

– This was closely followed by: Field Hockey (Women’s). Only because Empress Jessica felt that they had teams organized, and enough spending to travel to Columbia without any governmental funding or support, were their teams approved. We only play hockey one way. On ice.

PURCHASING GLORY

The Olympics come every four years depending on season and always draw record crowds. They provide outstanding entertainment, beginning with the Opening Ceremony. Then come the events, which will be played amidst sponsorship logos at every possible angle that you can turn your head. They’re made out to be for the glory, for the passion, and for realizing a dream in which one has had since they were a child. We will hear stories about athletes. Some will have had overcome unthinkable hardships or handicaps, that they will bring a tear to the eyes of the more emotional person. Network executives will tell you that their purpose in showing you these events is to show you the best athletes in the world in a large variety of games.

All that sounds nice, doesn’t it? That is what the Olympics were meant to be when the concept was drawn up hundreds of years ago. For some, Secristan’s approach towards the Olympics may seem a little far fetched, and a little heartless. Others will realize that the comments and stories that will come out of our nation are a lot more like real life then they should be. An exaggeration of the modern era, sure, but this is the direction of the way sports are going. What are the Olympics really about? They are about making a nice, handsome profit. This is something that we are sure will be on display in a nation known as the Unified Capitalizt States. So much so, that we are sure that our athletes will definitely feel at home even though they are thousands upon thousands of miles away from the homeland. The sponsor logos that will adorn every possible area of space in every stadium prove that fact. And the network executives pretending to care about showing the competition? How else is an olympiad in commercial at a rate of 30-35 minutes per hour? The only competition you see sometimes is from the automobile manufacturers showing you their latest “most exciting offer that will expire soon”, that is, and then a more exciting offer will begin afterwards. And as for the athletes, a good number of them will have overcome difficulties. Others have been spoiled their whole life. And the ones that have overcome difficulty and find success in the olympics, rest assured that a major book publisher will pick up a deal on their biography that will net them millions of dollars. Perhaps, even a movie deal too. Then that athlete on many occasions, will forget where they came from, and walk all over the people that guided them growing up. Yeah, somehow they miss that part of the story, don’t they?

Secristan makes no front about it’s purpose in the Olympics. It’s not to give athletes a chance to represent their country. It’s not about the glory nor the competition. There will be no tear-jerker stories that come out of our nation. It’s about making every possible Rusa (the “dollar” of Secristan) that the organizers, the Secristan Department of Sports (SDOS), can make. This starts with the television rights where all sports are provided to the viewer, but on a pay-per-view basis, in which single events must be purchased separately. It continues with the athletes. There were no “Olympic Trials” in the sports in which we will be competing in. No athlete that heroically and courageously worked their way to earn the spot they are in. Not here. Instead, the athletes that are going to Columbia all had to bid, via an auction, for their spot on the national team thereby generating a huge source of revenue for the SDOS. If you’re good but poor, oh well. But chances are in our country, that the poor will never get good anyway. There were eligibility requirements for each sport, so we’re not just sending incapable people. Ok, well maybe in sports like diving, we are, but you get the point. Why do athletes bid a large amount of money? It’s simple, it’s an investment. If they have success, they can generate big endorsement deals for themselves. Just look at our team in the International Basketball Championships. All of them received lucrative endorsement deals after we took the title, to where all of them generated an amazing return on their investment.

Soon Secristan will be competing with the others, and we expect to have success in several events. We won’t be the ultimate Olympic champion, but we will make a big profit at home from our experience, and that’s what its all about. Getting a little international recognition from the other top sporting nations with bigger reputations them us is nice too, because in the long run, that can lead to foreign investors in our country. It worked with the wise Monopolists of Cafundeu in the Basketball championships as now our nations have built up strong economic relations. Going to a nation like the Unified Capitalizt States to compete? Well, that was just a no brainer from the economic end of it. We’ll see what kind of success our athletes have, but every time a foreigner reads our reports and thinks we’re heartless, or focused wrongly, they should realize that our approach isn’t really much different then what really goes on in the modern era. Especially, with an Olympiad.

From MSPN--

We present part three of our series of athlete profiles.

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It's in her blood. It's in her genes. Nothing less could be expected than gold. Twenty-two year-old swimmer Betsy Kelleher, who hails from Oceanview, Plymouth Province, had a lot to live up to four years ago. And a lot to prove to herself. It seemed she was always in someone else's shadow. Her brother Warren is, along with his wife Sophia, a 5-time National Champion in Ice Dancing, and an Olympic gold medalist. When Betsy joined the Swim team at Columbia University, she was immediately in the shadow of collegiate champion Sheila Mitchell, already the star of the team and two years Betsy's senior. Recognition came slowly, especially since she and Mitchell both competed in the same swimming disciplines: the backstroke and the Individual Medley. Instant rivalry stuff, right there.

But the rivalry never materialized. Instead the two women became friends, and soon discovered that their respective strengths were a perfect complement to each other. Mitchell is a speedster; Kelleher's strength is endurance. The solution was simple: Mitchell in the shorter races, Kelleher in the longer ones. It's an arrangement that has worked well, first at Columbia, then at Querzaki.

Kelleher struck first, taking the silver in the 400m IM, but when your big brother already has a gold, second place just doesn't cut it. Mitchell then won two gold medals in quick succession in the 100m Backstroke and the 200m IM, setting an olympic record in the latter. Betsy's next race was the 200m Backstroke. She qualified -- barely. Kelleher had the slowest time of the eight qualifiers; in the finals she came in 5th.

"I was so disappointed," she recalls. "It's supposed to be my best event, and I didn't medal. I was devastated." So gone was Kelleher's chance at Olympic gold. There would also be disappointment for Mitchell as well; she failed to win a third medal in the 4x100m Medley Relay: the team came in 4th.

Both women have vowed to win those events this time around, and both have vowed to be cheering the other on to Olympic gold.

From the Series "COC List Stars for Columbia":

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COC List Stars - Antônio Carlos Bamerindus (Equestrian)

As you probably already know, we, the editors of this article space in the COC magazine, decided to make the first article about the Laser-class star Márcia Jordão, due to the big amount of news involving her competition. But, as you probably know too, she isn't the one that keeps the hopes of the Cafundelenses to earn many medals. So, it's time to talk about the person that will probably win many medals for Cafundéu, the one that is the favourite in his sport: the rider Antônio Carlos Bamerindus, together with his horse Serrano.

Bamerindus already has both national and international fame, and isn't alone in this Summer Olympics competitions: all his partners, from his brother Marcos Paulo Bamerindus (with his horse Sertão) to the young Anne Khalmar (and her horse Milady), passing by the other riders Marinho, Menezes and Salvatore, Cafundéu has a extremely strong team for the Summer Olympics, but a team that has a big responsibility too: to keep the country's good performance in this competition. This mission won't be easy, as the performance last time was nearly perfect.

Last time, Cafundéu simply dominated the Equestrian events in the Olympic Games, losing few medals. After that, the horses and riders of Cafundéu started to be considered some of the best in the world, if not the best. This time, they have at least one strong opponent, and a very motivated one: the Newmanistan press released an article in which they considered that their Equestrian team had good chances of dominating at least the Dressage event. If they realize Cafundéu's strength in this sport, this is not an issue. The issue is that they seem ready to battle for the medals.

Will they be a threat to the Cafundelenses? Maybe. But the truth will only appear during the events, and, until then, the riders and horses need to get focused in preparing themselves for the difficult competition ahead. But let's now resume our talk about Antônio Carlos Bamerindus. The most experienced and winner rider between the Cafundelenses is clearly the team leader in these Olympics. After winning many events, he has enough experience and ability to give advices to the other riders. Something that he'll surely do, even when competing with his own team mates.

Bamerindus also will be the flag-bearer of Cafundéu in these Olympics. This is mostly due to his outstanding performance in the last edition of the Summer Olympics, but also for his sporting experience and importance for the Cafundelenses. He said: "I'm extremely honoured. This will surely be a special moment in my whole life." About the competition, he said: "We're probably the best, but we need to control our confidence. It'll be difficult to repeat the same performance of last time, but I think that the Cafundelenses can be sure that our riders and horses will do a great job and bring medals home."

A team, and a dream. The story of the Taeshan Olympic Team

Here we are just 3 days til the start of the Third Summer Olympics in Columbia, Capitalizt Slani. The Taeshan Olympic Orginization has sent 237 brave men and women to compete in 56 sports. The Knights look to compete in many events at the trials.

One of them being Baseball, if the Knights are gonna win a gold medal it will most likely come in baseball as the Knights right now are ranked 3rd in the world after many failed championship runs. This could be our time to win it big. The Knights will look to be place with many young and not so good squads.

Another sport the Knight competitors wiull look forward to is the demonstration sport football. The Knights are one of the more veteran team and shall look to squash the younger teams. Hopefully it will not be like World Bowl 2.

Taeshan shall also hope to compete in the demonstration sport Lacrosse as the Knights are one of the creators of the World Lacrosse championships, and should be able to hold off most of the competition.

WHERE IS THE LOV?

Controversy rocked the Olympics yesterday as the Lovisan NOC were informed their athletes would not be allowed to participate in the Third Olympic Games here in Columbia. The final list of participants was handed over to the Columbia Olympic Games Organising Committee (COGOC) approximately one hour after the deadline was set for entries to be handed in.

It is not known whether a cock-up with time zones or just shoddy typing was to blame, however it does mean a few less rivals for the rest of the Games' participants.

LEAVIN' ON A JET PLANE

The huge Krytenian delegation, made up of over seven hundred athletes, officials, trainers, and coaches, flew the relatively short hop to the UCS in two specially-chartered plane yesterday morning. The team stopped overnight in Cirto, where they were set to visit the memorial to the members of the Krytenian football team killed in a bus crash during World Cup XXVI this morning. They will then fly on to Colombia, where they will check into the Olympic Village.

The music gradually grows louder, but it's still quite obvious that the first four notes are the same as the first four of the Travdan national anthem. Not that it's a conspiracy or anything. It's just a catchy little riff.

Eventually it gives way to the voice of:

Yvette Honeycutt: Columbia, the UCS...a vibrant metropolis, and now, playing host to the world's, er,
Darryl Pecan: To the greatest celebration of sport around.
Yvette: That.
Darryl: Athletes from over forty countries will compete in more than thirty events in the Summer Games of the III Olympiad.
Yvette: Who's got a preview of what lies ahead?
Lily Hovern: Heartwarming accounts of these athletes' journeys to the Games.
Steve Cunningham: Attempts to politicize the Olympics.
Lily: That's gonna be hard when the hosting country doesn't, per se, exist.
Steve: All right then, criticism of naive heartwarming accounts of these athletes' journeys to the Games.
Darryl: Patient explanations of scoring systems you've never heard of.
Yvette: And of course, nearly-futile attempts to moderate the entire thing. Now, how about at the events?
Lily and Steve: ...Nah.
Darryl: Well, after victory in World Classic Seven, the Ze-excuse me, both baseball teams are looking to continue that success. Zwangzug has also entered most events in traditional Olympic domains such as swimming and track and field, while other various bureaucracies have also come up with competitors. Perhaps the wild card could be cycling: while Lucia Corzan will hope to repeat the success of Querzakhi, where she finished fourth, Zwangzug's bikers are probably overrated in general. While domestically it is considered an eminent cycling country, that's anything but proven internationally, and fans could be in for a rude awakening.
Lily: What about gymnastics? We medaled at that!
Darryl: Uh...nope.
Yvette: The blank looks given by athletes when I asked who the flag-bearer will be suggest that Zwangzug is following the Capitalizt lead in refraining to carry a flag in the opening ceremonies.
Darryl: Which will be held Friday evening.
Yvette: Stay tuned.

A Team, and a Dream. The Story of the Taeshan Olympic Team.

Countdown of Taeshan Sports

Today the Taeshan Olympic Orginization(TOO) announced that there will be no Taeshani flag at the 3rd Summer Olympiad. Actually that is a lie there will be many as the Org. is sending hundreds of fans on all expenses paid trip to Capitalizt Slani for the event. They will be staying in the many Motel de la Taeshan owned by the TOO in UCS, after they bought out Motel 19. Anyways there will be a flag carried by the Taeshani team, but the Taeshaneese will have two flag bearers with a bearer also holding the olympic flag.

Another sport(besides Football, Lacrosse, and Baseball) that Taeshan will look to have a chance at gold is Water Polo, Water Polo is the 8th biggest sport in Taeshan and many high schools, and colleges have teams. The Water Knights as they are known by Taeshani fans will look to along with the freestyle swimmmers capture gold in this years olympiad.

Handball the 7th biggest sport in Taeshan will also be a big sport to watch if your interested in the nation. The fans will be rooting for the Fadron Flames team winners of the most recent Taeshani Handball league championship. The Flames name will be change to the Taeshan Purple Knights fgans for just a few weeks. Bear with us.

6th is you guessed it Ice Hockey, but wait they dont play Ice Hockey in the summer. Oh well.

5th is Lacrosse we already talked about the team in an earlier article, but if you don't know the Ying Jing Shockers will represent the Knighthood in UCS this time around. They could due well after finishing 3rd(tied) in the first World Lacrosse Championships. They should due good.

4th goes to soccer. A staple sport in Taeshan were the team is ranked 35th in the world. They should look good out there though as some of the better teams have decided the Olympics isnt good enough for them. There loss i guess. We should compete somewhat for a chance at bronze at most.

3rd is football. The Knights will be represented by the Wiechester Wonders former champions of the National league. The wonders have key national side quaterback Gabe Martin, and young wideouts Ohcho Cinco and Ricky Zellefrow. Yeah we might win a few.

Baseball the runners up. We always get so close, but fall in the big games. The last few times against lowly Newmanistan. We should really compete in this sport are best by far, watch for the Purple and Gold national side. Protectors of Italian Virginity.(A Knights Tale hmm Quotes)

And in first the ilustious Basketballl. Voted by Taeshanis as there favorite sport by far. Team gets new meaning in basketball. Only 5 on five on a 100 yrd. court. Good times good times the Atlantea Speed represent us here we should do good with nationals Ilchyin baker, and some other national team guy can't remember who anyways this is the sport.

QSPN.com/OLYMPIC COVERAGE

Even the Olympics are not immune to the New Bruxen Casino, (or our editors, who must lose most of their paychecks there, but that's a tale for another time) who has posted Olympic Odds for the Qazox Delegation. Since the start of the next Tour de Qazox and WBC8 is over 3 weeks away, the QFL, QAG and QHL are in the off-season, and since the World Bowl is only once a week, it's kinda slow here at QSPN.com, so here are the Offical Olympic Odds which are now locked. For Qazoxian citizens only, for your nation, please check or create your local gaming establishment.


MEN'S FOOTBALL: 5-1 to medal, 10-1 for Gold.
WOMEN'S FOOTBALL: 1-2 to Medal, 7-5 for Gold.
Men's Marathon:
Jason Cavendish: 500-1 to medal, 10000-1 for Gold.
Michael Paloi: 400-1 to medal, 5000-1 for Gold.
Frank Kelso: 350-1 to medal, 4750-1 for Gold.
Women’s Marathon:
Maria Destrades: 75-1 to medal, 250-1 for Gold.
Kylie Wasnikski: 8-1 to Medal; 60-1 for Gold.
Pauline Therrien: 1000-1 to medal, 25000-1 for Gold.
BASEBALL: 3-2 to medal; 7-1 for Gold.
FIELD HOCKEY: 200-1 to medal, 2500-1 for Gold.
HANDBALL: 30-1 to medal, 150-1 for Gold.
SOFTBALL: 70-1 to medal, 300-1 for Gold.
TENNIS:
Men’s Singles:
Clinton Few: 7-3 to Medal, 5-1 for Gold.
Nelson Belvins: 50-1 to Medal, 200-1 for Gold.
Neil Sanders: 40-1 to medal, 100-1 for Gold.
Cody Hammell: 50-1 to Medal, 200-1 for Gold.
Men’s Doubles:
Hammell and Few: 10-1 to Medal,75-1 for Gold.
Belvins and Sanders: 70-1 to medal, 300-1 for Gold.
Women’s Singles:
Serena Paden: 9-2 to Medal, 25-1 for Gold.
Pearlie McKechnie: 15-1 to Medal, 60-1 for Gold.
Milagros Shahid: 75-1 to Medal, 300-1 for Gold.
Allie Meola: 100-1 to Medal, 1000-1 for Gold.
Women’s Doubles:
Shahid and Meola: 35-1 to Medal, 120-1 for Gold.
Paden and McKechnie: 6-1 to Medal, 15-1 for Gold.
TRIATHLON
Men’s:
Kurt Pound: 2-1 to Medal, 12-1 for Gold.
Erik Beyers: 25-1 to Medal, 150-1 for Gold.
Cody Weick: 35-1 to Medal, 200-1 for Gold.
Women’s:
Kathrine Turlington: 7-1 to Medal, 20-1 for Gold.
Sharron Slowik: 25-1 to Medal, 150-1 for Gold.
Marylou Zajicek: 35-1 to Medal, 200-1 for Gold.
WATER POLO
Men’s: 8-1 to Medal, 50-1 for Gold
Women’s: 30-1 to medal, 150-1 for Gold.
Cliff Diving
Juan de Leon: 1-5 to Medal, 5-4 to win Gold.
Juanita de Leon: 100-1 to Medal, 1000-1 for Gold.

(ooc: CH: Just wondering, are any past Olympic results factored into the scorination?)

Bulgislavia had a sealed Borders Policy. It was absolutly forbidden to travel outside of the country. If you were caught trying to defect you could face the death penalty and certain torture.

As for people coming into the country. Westeners were banned and even citizens from allied nations were restricted.

Atheletes were ONLY allowed to leave the country for events such as the Olympics and other sporting events. The Bulgislavian Sporting committee was so paranoid about its athletes defecting its coaches were required to serve in Cigouriva (The Nations secret police) so they were also trained to act as strict minders and guards.

Though the last major defection happened in 2002 at a Gymnastics event in which one of Bulgislavia's top coaches defected and released stories of excesive and even "evil" methods to exact perfection.

But since Omar Milencu's "Promotion" to head of the sports committee Athletes are especially deserpate to flee for fear they will not perform up to his standards and face torture on return from the Games

(Though the president Ion Milencu personally promised the team no harm would come to them)
.................................................................................................

"Great Comrade Leader we really must address the Issue of a possable defection at the games" said a sporting aide who was in a meeting with the President Ion Milencu and his son the Head of the Bulgislavian Sporting Committee

"We will catch any defector. We have trained our coaches for this job! Then they will face punishment!" said Omar

"Son, calm down. This is our Olympic team. I dont think we will see a defection they know the risks and they would have to lose all contact with thier families and such" said Ion

....................................................................................................

The Olympic Games were the most common conversation amougst Bulgislavians waiting in the long queues for goods and food.

"Lets just hope we get Full coverage of the Games without any power shortages cutting in the coverage!"

"I hope our Olympic team returns after the games" some would joke

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COLIN CHILLIAD - WATER POLO

Real actual conversation on the phone at 2am this morning:

Me: "Hello?"

"Where are you, Colin? You're late for training."

"At 2 in the morning?"

"It's eleven, you idiot. Get your ass down here. And bring Brandon. You call yourself the captain? What kind of example are you setting for the other guys? For $2 million a year you could at least make some bloody effort to show up on time."

"Me and Brandon are in Columbia, in the Unified Capitalizt States. We're on the national Olympic team."

"What?! Hang on."

about 5 minutes pass

"Uhm, that's all right then. (click)"

I'm not sure if I should be more worried that the assistant coaches didn't know I was on the Olympic team, or that it took over a week before they realised me and Brandon Nichol weren't showing up for training.

The Albrecht Herald>Global Edition>Sport>New Candelariasians
And then there were two…
Paul Thompson in Columbia

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They could have been one of the defining stories of C&M’s Olympics – or anyone’s Olympics, come to that. But fate seldom does us sportswriters that kind of favour, and as we stand – two days away from ‘kick-off’, as it were – the number of Adekundes in Columbia has been slashed from five to just two. The nature of sport across the globe means even that that original figure would have been unlikely to break any records for multiple siblings at the Games (though suggestions as to the true record remain welcome). But even so, a disappointing combination of events ensures that the expected denouement to one of C&M’s longest-running ‘reality’ programmes will not come to pass just yet.

Until mid-May, James, Vanessa, Constantine and Rafaella of the casa Anderson may have run them close; but the Adekundes are now, indisputably, the most famous family in the Candelarias… excluding that of the one who murdered Phil the builder on Holy Road but, contrary to popular opinion it seems, they’re not real people.

Imomotimi Adekunde and his wife Kathryn first appeared on a TV1 documentary following, funnily enough, several mind-bogglingly large Candelariasian families as they struggled to cope financial and emotionally in a modern era where the desire to bang out excessive numbers of wee ones is looked upon with a certain amount of suspicion. Generally speaking it was a positive portrayal, though the national debate lingers on – do we attempt to reverse the painfully low current birth-rate by encouraging, wherever possible, large families among native-born (and, particularly, white) professional couples, despite the potential negative impact on the course of women’s rights in C&M; accept that it is now up to council estate teenagers to provide a huge portion of the new births, and deal with the social affects of this accordingly; or become host to vast numbers of new citizens of Muslim and evangelical Christian background, thereby changing the face of the Candelarias forever?

The Adekundes, as the show’s true stars, may have played a real part over the last decade of shifting public opinion towards the latter option. In any case, they soon became media stars, as a country that rather prides itself on its utterly lack of ambition feasted upon the raw talent of the seven kids, and the immense drive of Imomotimi to see his children succeed in sport. As time went by, indeed, their place in public discussion changed from reflecting the sheer number of them, to questioning whether their childhoods were being irrevocably damaged by both the media intrusion and their utter focus on sport, as encouraged by their charismatic but ever-so slightly creepy father. The role of the portable baby-making factory that was Kathryn Adekunde also raised plenty of eyebrows. And the overt displays of religious fervour, of course.

Ten years and five network series later, and this should have been the Adekundes’ Olympics; their final redemption. But it hasn’t entirely worked out that way. David Adekunde (or Adekunde #3) was the first to fall, when he failed to gain selection for the athletics squad, despite being the fastest 100 metre sprinter in C&M this year. The CAMAO argued that, while he’s undeniably quick, he’s simply not of a world standard, and would be eased out in the early heats. By his best times so far, that much is undeniable, but David – as well as several members of his vast clan – have been quick to criticise the selection committee’s policy on sending only those athletes who have the remotest chance of victory, or where there exist clear signs of potential improvement. David hasn’t beaten his personal best for almost fifteen months.

Two days later, sixteen year-old Hosanna was left out of the final eight – six starters and two reserves – for the women’s artistic gymnastics squad. And two days after that, God’s Power Adekunde picked up a knee injury in a training ground mishap involving fellow Port of Clotaire player Lee Waywide. Waywide’s off to the Olympics with Sorthern Northland; the eldest Adekunde was withdrawn from Trevor Organ’s provisional squad.

And so, we’re left with just two – Barry Adekunde, the Albrecht Independent left-back who’ll be fighting it out against Caires Sports’ Grey Mendoza for a spot in the starting XI; and Comfort Adekunde, the eighteen year-old tennis starlet.

In truth, neither have much chance of medalling. Comfort’s huge lefty serve and speed around the court have made her a much-feared opponent, both domestically and overseas, but in a mammoth and tough field she will surely come up against a far more experienced adversary sooner rather than later. The irreverent teenager clearly has a good few years – and at least one more Olympics – ahead of her, and the Adekunde legend isn’t ready to fizzle out just yet. Zachary Adekunde could find himself a key part of the next soccer squad, if his early promise in Albrecht Turkish’s youth team continues into adulthood; while the seventh and youngest child and third girl, Virtue, has every chance of besting her sister and making the next gymnastics team. And Imomotimi has a cousin called Ogunsheye Oliomogbe, who has four children aged under ten with his partner. This particular tale still has a little longer left to run.

‘Tis still a pity though, y’know?


Heat rising on t’Baker’s dozen
Fernando López in Columbia

Who, exactly, are the ‘New Candelariasians’? It’s a term we hear bandied about rather a lot, both in sport and society in general, but ask the average man in the street what it means, what it actually means, and the only honest reply can be “well, it’s like, all them ethnics, innit?”

We’re supposedly supposed to celebrate the successes of Comfort Adekunde, Ekah Dikko, Anissa Lock and Yoon Sung-Young et al, as if the fact that their parents weren’t born in these islands somehow has any impact on how exceptional their sporting performances might be. Darío Limia’s parents were not born here either. Kent Randall, the backstroke specialist to Limia’s butterfly, was not born here himself. How often do these facts garner a mention? And is that, heaven forbid that, because they happen to be of European origin and speak English or Spanish as their first tongue?

It is to the credit of most genuine sport fans in the Candelarias that the matter of the New Candelariasians’ colour nor ancestries is of no concern; that they are fully accepted as ‘ours’ and supported every bit as much as a fellow athlete who can trace his lineage back to the Allemali landings and whose skin peels in the sun. The prattlings of right-leaning tabloids and earnest civil servants are both merrily tossed aside when medals are on offer.

But even they are struggling to come to terms with the latest wave of New Candelariasians of a rather more recent vintage. Their impact has already been profound – C&M would certainly not have lifted both the Rugby World Cup and Cup of Harmony in the space of two hours were it not for overseas-born imports. At least in those instances there were modifying factors. While there were one or two players among the Huge Blues’ line-up with doubtful claims on Candelariasianess, their Sorthern opponents also fielded more than one gentleman with a strikingly familiar accent and an equally dubious national status. And while Dionísio Madeira Lobos, the Cafundelense suddenly elevated into the national football squad, was an even more questionable call-up; at least the midfielder had lived in Caires for five years, and was pretty well integrated into C&M life.

But what to make of John t’Baker? Barely a fortnight ago, the weightlifter was the hero of Ransome-Bkyki Island, and arguably RBI’s only true sporting superstar on a region-wide level. He had been Rushmore’s number one in his <85kg weight class for nearly four years. Polls ranked him as the greatest Bkyka who has ever lived. Hospitals in Ssotapel reported crippled children walking again after the briefest of visits from a being inching towards god-like status in his homeland. The governing Cautious Party had sounded him out their future candidate for the ceremonial post of President. Shawn t’son o’Augustine, the current Finance Minister and by all reports next PM, describing t’Baker as having “replaced t’Quin Liz in our nation’s hearts”.

And then, three weeks ago, the Secretary of State for International Trade, Candelariasian and Rushmori Affairs, Media and Sports, Fabien t’son o’Gervais, announced suddenly that the island would not be not sending a party to Columbia, and had previously been expected. The nation mourned, but t’Baker didn’t hang about. He took the first ferry to the Candelarias, and presented himself before the COCACAMAO. The Immigration minister, Union Fairfax, was soon on the phone – and within a matter of hours t’Baker was a fully paid-up Candelariasian citizen.

On the one hand, it’s lovely to have him. Though Sergey Smolensk of Kanji Starter is the favourite in his category, alongside more than one of those funny hairy fellows; t’Baker has every chance, according to those in the know. At a Games where remotely likely Candelariasian golds are scarce, t’Baker could easily end up doubling our tally single-handedly.

But the fact remains that, as Candelariasians go, you can’t get much more ‘New’ than thirteen days. Perhaps the closeness – geographic and otherwise – between C&M and RBI helps mollify the situation somewhat, but relations between our two countries and peoples are seldom particularly warm and fuzzy and make no mistake – they’re really rather grumpy about this move over in RBI. Like, effigy-burning grumpy. Brick-through-the-windows-of-anyone-called-t’Baker grumpy. Or probably called John, come to that.

The pleasure of seeing t’Baker compete at the highest level may calm them down, once the Olympics get underway but, if he does end up taking the gold, O, Sweet Nation will stick in plenty of craws. And not just in RBI, one feels. The greatest test of Candelariasianess is our national anthem, after all. You have to have lived here for at least a decade to have even noticed that the ghastly thing actually has a tune, for one thing. t’Baker isn’t taking the place of any native-born Candelariasian, but the debate will linger on and on over whether it is truly right for him to wear the blue-with-green-bits.

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ATHLETE PROFILES
Hurdles can't stand in her way

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It's a gray and rainy afternoon in Outineau when we first meet Jeanna Yoruba. From our rendezvous at Guy-Concorde metro station, she leads us into a café with a Hawaii theme going, where the Arab owners offer crêpes, coffee, and an example of Kelssek multiculturalism right out of Kelssek!, the happy-happy propaganda fluff dressed as social studies text that schoolkids become acquainted with in Grade 5.

Over good crêpes and bad coffee and never sparing a smile, she regales us with training stories which in other circumstances would lead to calling the police to investigate exploitation and abuse.

"It was snowing, blizzard conditions, minus thirteen, wind going like crazy, and my coach called out to this group which was packing up. They were saying, we're packing it in, we can't train, the conditions are too bad. And he turned to me and said, do you think visibility's above a hundred metres? I didn't really say yes, I just went, like, mmmh... and he replied, well, we can still see the finish line. Let's get started. Don't worry about them, not everyone can be a world champion."

Dedication is just the beginning for Jeanna Yoruba, coach-enforced or not. She's usually first on the track and the last to leave, and that kind of dedication shows results. She's a medal favorite in her main event, the 100m hurdles, and hopes for more with the relay team.

"I always know, if I know I've done what is truly, my utmost best, I can't be disappointed."

Disappointments she's had. Yoruba was crushed when she didn't even make the final in Querzakhi. But she's determined not to let that trip her up.

"You just have to focus on the here and now. You can't keep ruminating on what's already happened or it'll come back to bite you. I just have to keep my mind on the race I'm running and that's what, I hope, will put me on the top step of that podium."

(Equestrian riders Ashley Foster and Meghan Stover check into the Olympic Village)

Foster: This is so cool, Meghan, I can’t wait!

Stover: I know, so what horse are you riding?

Foster: Triple Choke, he’s big, brown, and can’t be beat.

Stover: He’s off that hoof injury, right?

Foster: Yeah, and you?

Stover: Rocket Gallop, nice breeding. Bloodlines go back a long way.

(A man approaches)

Man: Are you two lost? This is the Olympic Village, and this area is mainly for Newmanistanian athletes.

Foster: Uhmm, who the hell are you, we are athletes. We are from Newmanistan.

Man: Yeah, sure. What’s your event?

Foster: Equestrian. Why? And who are you?

Man: (laughs) Equestrian.... (laughs) All you do is ride a horse, you’re not athletes.

Stover: I’m totally gonna kick your ass, stop insulting us.

Man: Yeah come on hunny, I’m a boxer, not a good idea. Later!

Foster: The nerve of him. (Catching the name on his bag). Novak. I hope he gets pummeled in the ring. I hate people who doubt the true athletic ability of equestrian riders.

(Another man approaches)

Man: Hey ladies, what sport are you here for?

Stover: We’re here for Equestrian!

Man: Oh, sorry. Have a nice day. And good luck doing whatever it is you do.

Foster: Are we totally going to get disrespected like this our entire time here, or are we only going to be able to hang out with the other riders?

(A lady appears)

Lady: Excuse me, you’re in my way.

Stover: Wait, I know you.

Lady: You should, everyone knows me, Brittany Phillips. Does anyone know you? I sure don’t.

Stover: I’m Meghan Stover, and that’s Ashley Foster, we ride in the Equestrian.

Phillips: Oh right, right, yeah. That’s where you like ride a horse and jump over fences, right?

Stover: Yes!

Phillips: Uh huh. Look, I don’t mean to be mean or anything, but, doesn’t the horse do all the work?

Foster: I hate it when people say that.

Stover; No, the horse does not do all the work, the rider needs to guide the horse, time its jumps right, and get it ready for the next jump. And we have to do it with style and grace.

Phillips: Uh huh, but in the long run, the horse does all the work.

Foster: Ok, Miss I’m a Popular Beach Volleyball chick, I don’t mean to be mean anything, but have you ever ridden a horse?

Phillips: Actually, yes, I can ride a horse.

Stover: Really?

Foster: Can you come with us for a while?

Phillips: I guess so, my date with Kyle Novak doesn’t start until 8:00.

Stover: Novak?!?!

Phillips: Yeah, why, you think he’s hot too?

(They walk to a stall where the horses are)

Foster: Here, ride Triple Choke for a few minutes.

Phillips: Uhmm, ok.

(Foster and Stover get together on Rocket Gallop beside her, they ride)

Stover: There’s a log up ahead. That’s about 5% of the height that he will jump in an actual course, so even you should be able to get him to jump over it. Jump over it at the same time we get ours too. Triple Choke is seasoned jumper, so it shouldn’t matter who’s riding him, right?

Phillips: Uhmm, I guess. I can do this.

(Rocket Gallop clears the log with simple, minimal effort. Triple Choke, however, stops in front of the log, and refuses to jump).

Foster: What’s the matter, Brittany?

Phillips: I just must have made a mistake, I’ll do it again. (She tries and fails again).

Stover: I thought the horse did all the work. That’s a no brainer jump for a seasoned, conditioned, jumper. Why can’t you get him to jump?

Phillips: Uhmm, maybe he just doesn’t feel like jumping today.

(Stover gets off of Rocket Gallop, and on to Triple Choke, and takes the reins)

Stover: It’s this easy. (She turns Triple Choke around for an approach to the log, and the horse clears it as effortlessly as Rocket Gallop had earlier). Woo, that was simple.

Foster: See Brittany, just like it takes a certain skill level to compete in your sport, it does in our sport too. The horse will not do the work if he is not guided to do so.

Phillips: Ok, look, I’m really sorry. I get it now.

Stover: And tell that punk Novak too. He insulted us over it.

Phillips: I will, look, we’re having a party up on the sixth floor tonight at 11:00, how about you to come along and join the rest of us athletes.

Foster: Wow, thanks Brittany.

Phillips: No problem, I was wrong to judge you on something I didn’t understand.

Stover: We forgive you, you at least were cool about it.

Phillips: So, I have to ask, are you two like, good enough to win a medal?

Foster: We expect to contend and win a few medals in the events, yes.

Phillips: Good luck then!

Stover: Thanks, same to you.

The competitors from Bears Armed had arrived and settled into their accomodation in the Olympic Village several days ago, and today some of them had taken a break from training to go out in small groups and explore the adjacent city... especially its culinary possibilities.
Hammar o Blackhills, one of the wrestlers, was grumbling as his party returned to the team's quarters.

"I bought these sausage-in-a-bun's from one of the local vendors because he said that they were 'hot dog'", he complained, "but just you take a bite from one of them: They don't taste like there's any dog-meat in them at all! Somebody ought to make a formal protest to these Games' organisers, and get them to make the city council sort that crook out! Where's their nearest representative?"

Chef-de-mission: Columbia is filled with tales of glory

Ad’ihan's chef-de-mission to the upcoming Columbia Games, national football team coach Luke Evans, has described how he was "overjoyed" when offered the position of chef-de-mission by the Comité national olympique pour les îles ad’ihanais (COIA).

Evans, a naturalised Ad’ihani who was born in what is now Folenisa, Liventia, was brought up on stories of the Liverpool England national team's famous 3-1 World Cup 8 Final victory over hosts Bedistan at Holmes Stadium in Columbia, just like any other child his age.

Despite the match in question taking place over 130 years ago, "Columbia is filled with tales of glory for any Liventian kid," Evans said.

Speaking exclusively to the National Enquirer in Liventia in comments acquired by the Islands Daily, Evans tells of his surprise at being named chef-de-mission. "I'm not part of the COIA. I'm not Ad’ihani-born. Why should they name me? In my job as the AFF [Football Federation of Ad’ihan]'s Director of Footballing Excellence, I deal with the COIA now and then as they're the oversight body of all sporting associations in Ad’ihan.

"So when the COIA called me, at first I dismissed the call as them probably wanting to speak to me about some scouting project or other. I was absolutely overjoyed when they asked me to be chef-de-mission."

One thing Evans says he is looking forward to is finally being inside Holmes Stadium. "I've been to Columbia to see it, of course, as any Liventian would try to do. But to be inside it...it would just be amazing. It would be overwhelming... I would probably be overcome with emotion, I think."

While not supposed to be political, Evans' selection as Ad’ihani chef-de-mission by the COIA, which comes at a time of increased tensions between Liventia and its former protectorate, is seen as a way of bridging the current divide between the two nations.

Liventia's Prime Minister, Patrick Danahue, who was recently criticised for insinuating that Liventia may invade Ad’ihan, has reportedly telephoned Evans personally to congratulate him on his appointment.

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COLIN CHILLIAD - WATER POLO

A few of the guys on the team - myself included, of course, or why would I be blogging about it? - engaged in some extracurriculars after the evening training session. We'd gotten invited to this party arranged by some of the Newmanistan athletes. Headline act was Brittany Phillips, who is quite a big deal in that country or so we heard, and we needed a break from training training training so off we went for the night.

Well, we got there, chilled out a bit, and then I heard a woman nearby complaining about how "they always say the horses do all the work. I'm sick of it", etc. so by way of introducing myself I barged in. "I get that all the time too."

"You're in equestrian too?"

"Not quite. I'm Colin Chilliad, Kelssek water polo."

She laughed, even though the horse joke is as old as the sport of water polo itself. But I digress. I introduced some of the other fellas who came along, and friendly waves were exchanged all round. She introduced her friend, also an equestrian rider. We all got to spend some time talking and there was free booze. It was great.

That's what I really love about the Olympics, meeting these wonderful people from all over the world. It's why even though I'd (in all humility) be one of those you'd pick for the team with your eyes closed, when it came time for Olympic selection it was like being a kid wondering if you're going to make the school team all over again.

Their names are Meghan Stover and Ashley Foster, and Kelssek doesn't have anyone in equestrian, so if you end up watching it, cheer for them.

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Eye of Baranxtu - 1st Olympic Special Edition
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Editorial: Do the Elamrua Olīmpikua, the Itère Olimpique and the Olimpik Rantea have a chance?

At the moment you're reading this, the athletes of the joint delegation sent by Baranxtu, Cikoutimi, and Otea to the 3rd Olympic Games in Columbia, Unified Capitalizt States, will have settled down in the Olympic Village and prepare for the opening ceremony. After missing out on the 2nd Olympic Games due to internal problems of the BCO Olympic Comittee, this is the second olympiad the three nations will participate in. While anticipated by many throughout all three countries, there has been considerable controversy surrounding this event.

The Olympic Games are among the most popular sport events in the BCO area; and as with most international events, they are not only seen as an opportunity to cheer for your favorite athlete, but they are unfortunately also ripe with nationalistic sentiments.

Officially, there should be no such elements. The Olympic Games are not a political event or measure, but reality differs from this ideal. The BCOOC is accused of putting together a roster biased towards one nation or ethnicities - certain Otean and Cikoutimian papers claim that there are far too few athletes from their countries, while nationalist Baranxtiman publications lament that the delegation features too few Baranxtimans and Asuanituans, and that the Indigenous Peoples of Baranxtu are over-represented. In turn, representatives of the latter are at odds with each other - there certainly is a disproportionally high number of Mäsenäsi athletes, so what about the Kiri? The Ñiru? The Halani, the Leumi?
And all these complainers join forces and, well, complain about the number of "foreigners" on the team.

Most of them apparently fail to realize that being allowed to join the delegation is almost solely based on athletic performance. Harri Virtanen, for example, is quite simply one of the best boxers in Baranxtu, and was the most successful welterweight in all three countries during the past two seasons. A certain paper proposed sending Zendati Rahamasitu Urvani instead - but why send a "native" like Zendati R-tu Urvani, who may be Baranxtiman, but performed abysmally in the past six months?

It is true that the BCOOC does review individual cases before allowing an athlete to participate in the Olympiad - all the political controversies aside, these athletes to perform a certain diplomatic function; they represent their mother countries abroad, and as such, the BCOOC deems it appropriate to see to it that participants fulfill certain minimum criteria.
Even if Mr Urvani had performed better than Virtanen, he likely would have not been sent - he was convicted of hate speech due to racist remarks made in 2006 and fined over 1,200 aimau; this would make for automatic exclusion by the BCOOC's criteria.

Whether you agree with these criteria or not is a different question; personally, I do approve of them, as I would not want to send someone to represent my country at anything if there's a good chance they'll insult the host, their fellow athletes, their fans.

Ah yes, the fans. What do they think of all this brouhaha?
Suprisingly, most of them couldn't care less about the politics involved. Whereas demagogic loudmouths snipe at each other, they actually do just want to cheer for their favorite, and hopefully see them on the winner's podium.

In conclusion, dear reader, I hope you enjoy the forthcoming games - and that you'll continue to read the Olympic Special Editions of the Eye of Baranxtu/Unar Baranxtivau!

Me, I know I will watch them and cheer on my favorites - whether their shirt spots the tiger, the saber or the island.

Yours truly,
Marxi Htaluitu Ansogi

(Equestrian riders Meghan Stover and Ashley Foster read an online site devoted to the Newmanistan Olympic team. On the top, is a picture of Triple Choke.... they get excited then....)


Stover: Wooohooo, we’re on the top of the page.

Foster: What’s it say?

Stover: What the fff.... “Brittany Phillips spotted riding horse in Columbia”

Foster: For once, we almost get glory. Our horse is on top of the website, but on top of the horse, is Brittany.... this is messed up.

Stover: Three pictures of Brittany riding, none of us. None!!!

Foster: Does it eventually mention us?

Stover: All it says is: Strange sight, popular Beach Volleyball player Brittany Phillips takes a horse for a ride. She appears to be riding besides some unknown friends.

Foster: Unknown?!

Stover: It goes on: Maybe Brittany should ride in equestrian, or maybe equestrian riders should wear skimpy bikinis to increase ratings. Our names are no where in the article!

Foster: Unknown friends, that just really ticks me off, didn’t it occur to them, that given that she was riding a horse, that her friends, may have been equestrian riders!


Stover: Maybe we should go with the bikinis.

Foster: What?! A graceful sport should never be lowered like that.

Stover: We’d get some press out of it. We have fine bodies, just because we don’t have Brittany’s.....

Foster: Absolutely not! That would offend all true fans of our great sport. That is just absolutely absurd, we shouldn’t even be thinking about that!

Stover: Yeah you’re right. We;ve met some cool people here. That guy from Kelssek was nice. Colin Chilliad.

Foster: Yeah he was funny. I’m gonna root for Kelssek in Water Polo.

Stover: Sure, why not. I don’t know how good we are in that anyway.
(Phone Rings)

Stover: Hello....

Caller: Hey it’s Brittany, how are you two doing.....

Stover: Oh Brittany, how are you?

Phillips: Did you see this article online about me on your horse?

Stover: Well Triple Choke is actually Ashley’s horse, not mine, but yeah I uh, yeah I saw the article. They never miss you, do they?

Phillips: No, it was a nice picture, but I wrote to the writer that I wasn’t happy that he didn’t mention you two by name and that it was pretty inconsiderate of him to say you guys should be wearing bikinis. That would be kinda awkward anyway, right? (Laughs)

Stover: Yeah (laughs). Thanks Brittany, I appreciate it.

Phillips: Don’t mention it. We’re all one big family here trying to show our Rocket Pride! I meant it when I said I would stick up for you two. Besides, I didn’t really care for the way he made it sound like he was so shocked that I could ride a horse as if all I could do is play volleyball and be in commercials that sell my body more then they sell their product.

Stover: You’re right. You know this is cool, us all coming together like this.

Phillips: It’s what the Olympics are all about. Maybe I will check you ladies out if there isn’t an event conflict.

Stover: Thanks, and you know, we’ll do the same.

Phillips: I appreciate that. Well gotta go to practice, take care and good luck.

Stover: Thanks, same to you. (Hangs up)

Stover: Ashley, you know, maybe things aren’t going to be so bad after all. (Repeats much of the above conversation to Ashley)

Foster: Yeah, you’re right. We’re all Newmanistan!

Today we present part four of our series of athlete profiles with this look at weightlifter Hakan Musa.

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Life has never been easy for Hakan Musa. When his family immigrated to Maineiacs, they left behind war and poverty. "My parents saw this land as almost Shangri-la or El Dorado which compared to what they had just left, I suppose it was. My grandmother, I think, expected the streets to literally be paved with gold. Well, the streets weren't paved with gold, but unlike our village, the streets were paved." he said.

Poverty and war were left behind, but moving to a nation like Maineiacs was definitely culture shock. "I'll never forget the first time we encountered Maineiacs's lax laws on public nudity," Musa recalled. "I was about eight years old, and had never seen a naked woman. My mother and grandmother dressed in the style of their homeland, which was very conservative. I, of course couldn't stop staring, my mother covered my eyes, and my grandmother gave that poor girl the tongue-lashing of a lifetime."

An amusing anecdote, but all was not merry and bright for Musa growing up. Respect for diversity is one of the cornerstones of our nation, but boys will be boys, and Musa took a lot of teasing for his accent. "I got into a few fights in my time." he said.

At 14 came an event that changed Musa's life. While walking home from a movie with his family, Musa and his father were both struck by a drunk driver. Musa suffered serious damage to his legs; his father was killed instantly. Musa was confined to a wheelchair for months. The doctors weren't sure how much mobility he would regain. His dedication to weightlifting began as therapy. "I was doing weight training as part of my therapy. I found I enjoyed it, so I stuck with it." he said.

Musa won a couple of High School competitions, but didn't really consider making a career out of athletics. When he was 18, after completing High School, Musa went to work to help make money for his family. He got a job as a dock hand in Maineiacs City. A tough, dirty job for low pay. When the MOC announced that a team was being put together for the Querzaki Olympics, Musa said that his mother told him he should try out for the weightlifting team. Musa hesitated; his family needed his paycheck, but he said his mother was insistant. "She's always pushed me to be the best I could be." he said.

It soon paid off for Musa. he made the team, and at Querzaki, he won the gold medal. He dedicated his victory to his parents.

THE OFFICIAL ARCHREGIMANCY MONASTIC OLYMPIC CALENDAR

JANUARY

Fr. John the Far-Runner
Marathon & 10000 Metres

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Favourite Famous Saint: St. John the Forerunner (who else!)
Favourite Obscure Saint: Venerable Pimen the Much-Ailing of the Kiev Near Caves
Favourite Colour: Black
Favourite Monastery: St. John of New Patmos
Likes: Iconography, prayer, long-distance running as a form of hesychastic devotion
Dislikes: Heathens, heretics, freemasons and other assorted forces of the Devil
Olympic Dream: Mass-conversion of entire Olympic Stadium to the one true Church

Football preliminary results (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13903901&postcount=1) are now up.

Schedules and fixtures for some events (http://www.thirdgeek.com/ns/olympics/columbia3/eventschedule/) (99.5 KiB) are now available; the rest will be finished at some unspecified “later,” along with a more compact list of events on each day.

Knights Soccer Team Ties in Opener

In the first game of the group stage in the 3rd Olympiad at Columbia, Capitalizt Slani the Purple Knights took on the Cafundeu Squad. The Knights scored early in the game of a Brian Ying Uing corner kick header. The Caf's formerly known as the team who knocked usout of the Wrold Cupqualifiers in the 40th World Cup scoredlater of a penalty.

The groups for soccer have been anounced, and the Knights after facing Cafundeu have to play the Fujisawan Territories a former foe, and an unknown country of Coocoostan. It will surely be exciting.

From www.abs.as

Lady Lions Win, Men Inaction


The Asteran Lady Lions have withstood their early first test in Group D, beating Cafundéu in group stage action today at Unity Stadium in International City. Jane Lahtela scored the first goal, while her Kapi LFC team mate Hanna Toivonen claimed the second. Trish Hayes came on as a substitute and scored the third goal, giving the Lady Lions their first Olympic victory. Manager Derek Thisman was jubilant over the result.

"It was a great result for the team and for the country. We never thought that we could get such a good result early. I'm proud of the team, but we can't let it get to our heads. We still have two matches to play, but this helps our quest to qualify for the quarterfinals."

"I never thought that I could score a goal in the Olympics," said Lahtela after the match. "It's a great feeling, particularly because I know my family and all of Kapi were watching. I feel great about it."

In the other group match, West Pocono drew with Maineiacs 1-1.

On the men's side, the Blue Lions did not play, having been drawn in Group G with Jasīʼyūn, and Wentland in a small group. The only group match finished 4-1 to Jasīʼyūn at Sokojiʼwa Gyūŋgijaŋ in Sokojiʼwa Dosi. Sir Neil Markham discussed the draw with the media.

"It's just the luck of the draw, I guess. I think it gives us a slight advantage because we play one less match, which means our boys are fresher. We wanted to play today, but extra preparation time is nice."

Both teams will be in action on the 9th and 10th, with their matches live on ABS One.

ALBAVONA CAPITOL SENTINEL

Athlete Profile: Anastasia Kostrikova
by Gracie Rhodes, ACS staff writer

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Columbia, UCS - The haunting expression on her face says it all. It’s a look that captures an entire career, an expression of acknowledgment that these Olympics will be the final moments of that storied career culminating in one last triumphant stand on the world stage. Her eyes tell of the disappointments, achievements, tragedies, and triumphs of a lifelong gymnast. Not bitter, not feeling sorry for herself, not trying to impress anyone, she can say she is truthfully here to represent her country.

Two years ago, Anastasia Kostrikova was the best gymnast in Unified Beretania. She had watched with admiration as the Ariddians become the undisputed world champions in gymnastics and she wanted more than anything in life to make this Olympic team.

Kostrikova’s dream of making an Olympic gymnastics team was nearly shattered by a serious knee injury and while recovering, Kostrikova slipped in rankings from the nation’s best gymnast to the third, behind Katie Yang and Courtney Daugherty. Kostrikova vowed that her injury would sideline her come time for the Olympics.

A year ago, Kostrikova was ready to return to gymnastics full time ready to put her knee injury behind her, more determined than ever. But Kostrikova had the misfortune of a string of injuries that have effectively forced her to retire after these Olympic Games.

The big question is which Anastasia Kostrikova will we see at these Olympics? Will we see the Anastasia Kostrikova who’s been slowed by injuries and the wear and tear of a lengthy career, or will we see the Anastasia Kostrikova that Unified Beretanians have come to know and love, the two time national individual all around champion?

“I’m thankful just to be here, because I know I almost didn’t make it. So I will make the most of this second chance,” the charismatic leader of the Unified Beretanian women’s team tells me.

She knows, as do all the Unified Beretania gymnasts, that the chances of a team medal are almost none against Ariddia, Newmanistan, Secristan, and Cafundéu. She knows that she is here for the individual events. That’s where she could punctuate her career with an Olympic medal.

“You can’t feel sorry for yourself, for the situation you are in. The second you do, you’ve already lost,” Kostrikova tells me after warmups during final preparations for the Olympics.

It seems just being on the Olympic team has given Kostrikova all the confidence she needs.

“If you want to win, and come out on top, it’s all in here, and right here,” Kostrikova says, pointing at her head, and then gesturing toward her heart.

“She’s a true competitor. She’s not somebody that you want to underestimate,” says fellow gymnast Katie Yang, the top ranked gymnast in Unified Beretania.

The big question for Wentland fans was who would be bearing the sacred royal blue banner. And they would be amongst the last entrants into the arena so the tension would be kept going for longer.

The obvious choice was His Majesty King Æþelwold, who, quite apart from being Head of State, was also an Olympic gold medallist in his own right, having entered the previous games on a whim when the Wentland Olympic Committee presented the list of participants to him for approval. "The Kingdom has no-one entered for the Dressage? Why, 'tis the noblest of sports! His Majesty would be DELIGHTED to participate!!!"

The Committee had cringed, but were very pleasantly surprised to see just how much His Majesty could master a horse. He had included his own family for the company and the Wentlings had added silvers to His Majesty's triumph.

But no, His Majesty declared himself to be simply an ordinary competitor - albeit a defending champion - and announced he would not be the flag bearer. He preferred to remain anonymous in royal blue blazer, white shirt and grey flannels, the Wentland official outfit.

Perhaps one of the three archer girls, then? Favoured to win a team gold, even though Fogarty and Lonergan hated each other. No, that would never do. One would detest the other and vice versa. Already they were going to be separated in the phalanx of competitors.

Maybe Leonora Pennyworth? The shy librarian had been the story of the Games for Wentland last time out, a completely unexpected gold in the cycling time trial had catapulted her into an unexpected fame. No, the story was she had declined the honour, she just wanted to get back on her bike and back to her books. Already being made a Lady of the Wentland Empire had been too much for her. No chance of a second gold for her, it was feared, back to anonymity. Which suited her fine.

Maybe Godfrey Campbell? He had been an ambassador for Wentland swimming for a number of years, even though he had not had much success.

How about the triple gold medallists from last time? Angie Cook and Nan Ook? No, they could not both do it. Therefore neither one of them wanted to do so without the other.

In the end it was a surprise. Nobody was expecting great things from Rosaria Holmes at the Games, she had not repeated her last Olympics form in the canoe slalom owing to injury. But she had been within half-a-second of gold, and if she couldn't be a gold medallist she could be a flag carrier at least.

From MSPN--

Here we present the fifth part of our series of athlete profiles with Diver Nuo Mei.

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As a 16-year-old at the Querzaki Olympics, Nuo Mei was the youngest member of the Maineiacs team. On the third day of competition, she and her partner, Lim Yun took the bronze in Women's Synchronized Platform Diving, making her our youngest medalist. Nuo would go on to take the silver in the solo event, as part of a diving team that medaled in nearly every event (the only exception being Shang Zibo, who finished 6th in Men's Platform). Now at 20, Nuo is one of the early favorites in the Women's Platform. Her dives looked impressive at trials, her 147cm, 41kg frame slicing cleanly through the water. Nuo says she feels more confident now than when she was a 16-year-old High School Junior. Now in her Junior year at Cornell, she says she has greater control of her dives, and grester strength. She is also more gregarious than she was four years ago; she talked with us for 20 minutes -- she could barely get out five words in an interview four years ago. "I think I was just completely overwhelmed," she said. "I'm just as thrilled to be here, but my focus is better now, and despite the tough field, I think I stand an excellent chance of bringing home the gold."


In other Olympic news, both Men's and Women's Soccer Preliminaries got underway today, with our Women playing West Pocono to a 1-1 draw, and our Men falling to Kenavt 2-1.

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Women open with defeat.

The Third Olympic games got under way in Columbia, Unified Capitalizt States yesterday with both the men's and the women's football tournaments getting under way.

An Blascaod Mór's women's team were amongst those that got the precedings underway, with an opener against the hosts, Capitalizt SLANI. With a strong home backing it was never going to be easy to open the tournament against the SLANI and indeed prior to the game the team would have been looking at the other two teams in their group for the necessary points to go through. However considering the result in the other group game it looks as though An Blascaod Mór will face an uphill struggle to even get out of the group.

And that would be a huge shame, not just for the Island, but for the games as a whole. The story of the An Blascaod Mór women's team is one of those true Olympic stories. Of the Island's six entries to the game they were the favourites to bring back a medal. Just that is a huge achievement when their resources are compared to those of the other competing nations. That an impoverished small island with a population of around 140 somewhere off the west coast of Sorthern Northland is an achievement. Whilst other nations will have poured millions into developing their squads for these games, the An Blascaod Mór team has barely received a single Ruble, what little money they do get to spend on travel arrangements and equipment is subsidised by the government of Sorthern Northland. And then there's the players. Most other nations will be sending professionals with years of training. Not An Blascaod Mór, their squad is filled with amateurs. For this team, football is played for the enjoyment and love of the game, entering the Olympics is for the glory and recognition of the island. After the games every player will come back to the Island and make the best of the lives they have there, they will go back to tending the rough land of the Inis, sailing across the rough seas when needed, they won't be getting millions to advertise the latest trainers or clothes. For them it is simply about playing for their island, their people and nothing else. And they wouldn't have it any other way.

Land de Wood Sports Olympiad Special
Welcome to the today's Olympiad special report. Only one of our teams featured and that was our football team which was made of u-23 players, and only those not called up for the national side's Baptism of Fire, which left us a little depleted.
The team selected was:
4-1-3-2
Steve Pilot
Roger Roberts Richard Wilson Harry Gan Joshua Ashton
Mahieu Henderson
Jordi Hoffmann Jamie Beveridge Woodrow Wilson
David Bomber John Little

Things started badly as Roger Roberts let their left winger in and his cross Harry Gan failed to clear and Steve Pilot was left stranded as their target man headed home in the 2nd minute. 0-1.
Three minutes later things went from bad to worse, Mahieu Henderson was booked for a late tackle and then argued with the referee and was shown a second yellow card for dissent and therefore sent off. Gerainia almost scored from the resulting free kick. However, a goal and a man to the good Gerainia now had the game at their mercy.
They played some great football and in the 13th minute made a run down the right wing, crossed the ball in and again their target-man headed home. 2-0 and things not looking good.
Our "Woodpeckers" tightened up and looked more determined for the rest of the half and kept the score down to 2-0 for the rest of the half, but they couldn't find a way through.
In the fourteenth minute of the second half they found it, Woodrow Wilson made one of his sensational runs down the left, crossed it in and David Bomber headed home, game on, 1-2, or so we thought.
Straight from the restart Gerainia looked for a goal, playing some beautiful one touch football they mesmerised the Woodpeckers midfield and their striker scored a lovely team effort goal. 1-3 and the Woodpeckers looked shaken.
As much as they tried to get another goal they couldn't find a way past the Gerainian defense, however, their own defense stood firm and the game ended:
Gerainia 3–1 Land de Wood.
Man of the match: Woodrow Wilson made some good runs down the wing.
Worst man: Harry Gen was all over the place at the back, closely followed by Mahieu Henderson who was sent off and will miss the next game.

Team for the next game:
4-1-3-2
Steve Pilot
Roger Roberts Richard Wilson Conrado Brinkman Joshua Ashton
David Barclay
Jordi Hoffmann Jamie Beveridge Woodrow Wilson
David Bomber John Little

So Conrado Brinkman is in for Harry Gen and David Barclay is in for the suspended Mahieu Henderson.

um theres a problem with the schedule it seem it says you cant use a xml with a style sheet

um theres a problem with the schedule it seem it says you cant use a xml with a style sheet
It’s a problem with IE—it thinks that the official XHTML 1.1 DTD is invalid. I don’t remember how to work around that, and a quick Google search didn’t help, so unless someone can point me in the right direction, you’ll have to use a different browser.

From the Series "COC List Stars for Columbia":

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COC List Stars - Nathália "Nathy" Rexona (Volleyball)

After talking about Sailing and Equestrian, we, the editors of this magazine article, will talk about a ball and team sport. And, although is football the number one sport in our country, the people don't see much importance in a olympic medal for the Monopolists, who need to get focused to play in the World Cup. So, all the attention is diverted to the second most popular sport of the country (ok, third if you count futsal): volleyball. And the Cafundelense volleyball teams seem ready to get success.

Cafundéu is a strong nation in volleyball, beach or indoor, male or female. The passion of the population for volleyball is big, and usually people that dislike football simply love volleyball, although people that like football usually like volleyball too. So, this sport has many supporters, who will cheer for the Cafundelense teams: the two indoor ones, and our doubles in the beach volleyball, all of them with outstanding chances of winning medals and, of course, of winning the gold medal.

But, between all those teams, there is a team that is the most popular. And this one is the female indoor volleyball team. Thanks to its excellent performances, to its many conquests and its beautiful players, the women indoor team became the most respected one of the country among the volleyball team. And is one ready to battle for the gold medal in columbia. With top players like Carol, Ana Paula, Daniela and others, another result would be an disappointment.

And now we reach the point where we'll talk about our athlete of the day: Nathy. Considered by many the best player of this team, the #12 of the team is the responsible for scoring many points with her strong hits in the ball and with her amazing serve. Nathy is also one of the most talkative players of the team, and loves to talk with the press. When asked about her team's chances in the Olympic Games, she said: "We have fame, so our opponents will get prepared to play against us. It won't be easy."

Although her first phrase didn't seem optimistic, she continued to talk, and started to show to the supporters that she is motivated and confident: "But our fame doesn't come from nothing. We have a strong team, and our objective is to win the gold medal. We are sure that we can do that, and anything less than the first place will be a huge disappointment. I'll do my best to avoid a single loss, and I'm sure that my team mates will do the same." The Cafundelense volleyball is ready to shine.

CH (or anyone else who can read that XML gibberish i seem to get): any chance you can post the GROUPS for team events? So at least we're not in the dark as to who our opponents are? Thanks

motion seconded^^^

Hoji Metropolitan Daily Record
President Ayabito and Former Prime Minister Ienari arrive in Columbia

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President Sen-Hime Ayabito

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Former Prime Minister Sanami Ienari

Columbia, UCS - The mood is somber in the Fujisawan Territories on the eve of the III Olympic Games in the wake of a national tragedy that has gripped the nation.

Late last month, President Sen-Hime Ayabito’s daughter Kayumi, 15, was driving down Asahani Boulevard in Downtown Hoji after spending the evening with a cousin, when her vehicle was struck by a drunk driver. Kayumi and her cousin Kanefusa, 20, were killed instantly. The drunk driver fled the scene, and was arrested five days later on the island of Sapsaki following a massive manhunt.

Kanefusa Ayabito was buried at Hoji National Memorial Park, which is generally reserved for military personnel, a week after the accident, and three days later, over three thousand attended a public memorial for Kayumi Ayabito.

Hoji Police Department investigators are still piecing together how the accident unfolded, but say
Kayumi Ayabito, who was driving with a provisional license at the time of the accident, was not at fault.


Keeping a promise she made before the death of her daughter, a promise she vowed not to break, President Ayabito will attend most events at the III Olympiad in support of her country.

President Sen-Hime Ayabito has ordered all flags be lowered to half staff in honor of her daughter and nephew, “and all Fujisawans who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our nation in the name of freedom and independence,” until the Fujisawan Territories win their first Olympic medal.

“It is a gesture of memorial for those we have lost, those who aren’t here to see our nation rise to new heights,” President Ayabito said in an emotional televised speech to the nation just hours before leaving for Columbia ahead of the Opening Ceremony.

Joining President Ayabito will be former Prime Minister Sanami Ienari. The two have bonded quite strongly since President Ayabito took office. Ienari, whose daughter Kinuko is on the women’s association football team wasn’t originally planning to attend the games with President Ayabito, but after the accident, felt compelled to reach out to her successor.

“Time will slowly heal President Ayabito’s wounds, but she has made a promise to attend the Olympics, and she intends to do so, in support her country. This is a difficult time for President Ayabito, but she feels the need to be in Columbia. It is extremely important to her,” press secretary Nampo Tono said in an official statement.

Prior to President Ayabito’s arrival, the men’s and women’s association football teams opened up the Olympics for the Fujisawan Territories with slight disappointment and two losses. The men lost to Coocoostan 2-1, and the women lost 2-0 to Coocoostan. The Territories aren’t expected to contend in association football, and many Fujisawans are eagerly awaiting other events.

THE OFFICIAL ARCHREGIMANCY MONASTIC OLYMPIC CALENDAR

FEBRUARY

Fr. Irenarchus the Tired
Triathlon

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Favourite Famous Saint: St. Polycarp of Smyrna
Favourite Obscure Saint: New Martyr Triandaphyllus of Stara Zagora
Favourite Colour: Black
Favourite Monastery: The Painted Monastery of Voronets
Likes: Resting, sitting, lying down (each helps to focus the mind on prayer)
Dislikes: Running too far, cycling long distances, swimming in the open sea
Olympic Dream: Finishing the triathlon while still having enough energy to attend vespers

(Newmanistan athletes prepare for the opening ceremony)

Jeremy McAllister (assoc. football): Alright everyone, as your flagbearer, I have made up a sign up sheet to determine the order in which we will line up in the ceremony.

Jennifer Conlin (swimming): We already decided that the swimmers were going first, as the other flagbearer I veto your sign up sheet.

McAllister: A sign up sheet is the easiest and most fair way to do it.

Brittany Phillips (beach volleyball): I don’t care if I’m first or last, I just don’t want to be in the middle. Preferably, I would like to be on the side with the most cameras.

McAllister: Well just sign this here sign up sheet.

Jim Hatters (Rowing): That’s kinda bull though, because the people who get the sign up sheet last are going to end up with the worst spots. Jennifer’s way is best.

Conlin: Thank you.

McAllister: Who are you, anyway?

Hatters: Jim Hatters, and I’m in rowing.

McAllister: Ahhh yes, the great sport of rowing.

Jessica Hasman (Archery): Look there’s an easy way to do this, we do it by sport type, and we do it alphabetically. So, archery would be first.

Phillips: Then I’m in the back, that can’t happen. Unless Beach Volleyball is categorized differently then regular volleyball.

McAllister: There is an easy way. It’s the sign up sheet. Now let’s all stop the bickering. Does it really matter anyway what order we are in?

Lauren Biron (swimming): Yes, because everyone knows that we are going to win a lot of medals in swimming.

Conlin: Thanks hun.

Biron: Don’t mention it.

Jake Barden (Weightlifting): I have a better idea. Each sport sends it’s five strongest athletes, and by event we have a tug of war with a bracket and then utlimate winners get to pick first.

Kyle Novak (Boxing): That’s not a bad idea.

Conlin: It’s a terrible idea!

Barden: Oh shush, the male swimmers can hold their own, babe. By the way, Jenn, you’re a hottie.

Conlin: Thanks!

McAllister: Stop kissing up to her to get her support.

Conlin: It’s working, the tug of war might be fun.

McAllister: Sign up sheet people, sign up sheet.

Barden: Ha!

Novak: Draw up the brackets let’s do it, not to mention its good practice for the tug of war demonstration event.

McAllister: That’s gonna be the only thing you win all tournament, Jake.


And so.... the order in which Newmanistanian athletes will parade in the ceremony was determined.

LOOKING FOR RESPECT

We are a nation not known to most of the world, though we are in the same region as many other sporting powers, including the host nation of the 3rd Olympiad. Tucked away, seemingly, in the backwaters of Atlantian Oceania, the nation of West Pocono is so unknown, that in some venues it must use its alias, East Pocono, to get respect. But here they are. On the same stage as the rest of the world, hoping for a chunk of Olympic glory to call their own.

Other nations are in Columbia with the intention of winning many medals and strive to be the ultimate Olympic champion. They have made their stake, and their presses are hyping up their strongest events as much as they can. A little support after all, from all sources, just may be what it takes for an athlete to dig down deep and pick up that extra tenth of a second that might be the difference between a gold, and finishing 5th. West Pocono comes here with no such illusion. The nation is simply looking for a little respect on the world circuit, and just maybe one day, it will have a great presence in the world. The nation’s best athlete is artistic gymnast Courtney Petersen, and she will also be the flagbearer. Courtney, is without question, the country’s best chance to win a medal, but in her event it’s going to be tough. There’s the presence of Newmanistan, from One Big Island, which seems to be strong in those events. Ariddia will be strong, and probably Secristan, and some others who’s delegations we haven’t fully studied will be in the mix too, we’re sure. It’s competition like Courtney has never seen, and as she told us in an interview, she is just happy to be in Columbia. “To win a gold medal is my biggest dream, but just to represent my country, knowing that we aren’t one the big powers coming to Columbia is really an honor for me. And I can’t tell you just how great it will be to be carrying the flag at the opening ceremony. It makes me wonder, almost, what I ever did to deserve this kind of thing. But I am really excited, and I hope that I do not let my country down. I am going to do the best that I can. The competition is going to be fierce, but it is also a privilege to be competing against them. I am eager to see how I stack up.” That’s really the common though from West Pocono’s athletes that appear to be the strongest medal chances. There are some other opportunities, such as in volleyball (indoor and beach), maybe tennis, maybe we can sneak something in baseball. We have a strong chance in a couple of demonstration sports, especially lacrosse, but perhaps even American football.

We can hope for medals, but they will be tough to come by. But at the end of the day, we hope that the name West Pocono can begin to be more recognized in the eyes of the World. We are honored to be one of the nations here, and hope to, one day, be yet another Atlantian Oceania sporting power.

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OLYMPIC REPORT PODCAST - AUGUST 8, 2008

http://media.switchpod.com//users/kelssek/olympicreport20080808.mp3

OLYMPIC REPORT PODCAST - AUGUST 8, 2008

http://media.switchpod.com//users/kelssek/olympicreport20080808.mp3

OOC - Kudos to you sir, kudos indeed to you.

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Eye of Baranxtu - 2nd Olympic Special Edition
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Spotlight: Nahtēri Mēāgitu Andali

Nahtēri Mēāgitu Andali is a superstar. Millions of Baranxtuans watched him win two gold medals for Mother Baranxtu during the First Olympic Games, thousands gave him a thunderous welcome home when he returned.

This year, Andali will once again participate for Baranxtu and compete in a total of four diving events, two together with Cikoutimian Père Dekouj. Andali will also be the standard bearer for Baranxtu, marching alongside sprinters Sintake Kikimo (OT) and Etienne Bourges (CI) in the opening ceremony taking place later today.

Short biography
Born September 6, 1980 to Mēāgi Simhaditu Andali and Guritsa Ziahatu Dalhanta, Andali grew up in the village of Zurataź in northern Bari Nazer. Shortly after beginning secondary school, he joined the school swim team and discovered his passion for diving.

He participated in his first competition in 1995, and made second place in the diving division of the Bari Nazer Aquatics Regional Youth Championship. He was subsequently quickly spotted as one of the most promising divers ever to grace the Baranxtuan platforms, and shot to athletic stardom with a year.

After much speculation and letting the rumor mill run rampant for years, Andali surprised many by tying the knot with former fellow diver Andagi Atenitu Bouleï (cousin of current prime minister Aimala Nalatu Boulea) last year.


Interview
Last week, our reporter Üö Nättisögi met him shortly before his departure for Columbia for a short interview.

Üö Nättisögi: "Śātrua, Nahtēri. Let's start right away - how are you feeling about the next couple of weeks?"

Nahtēri M-tu Andali: "Śātrua, Üö. Excited, mostly, and of course a bit nervous. I've performed often enough that you'd think I'd be used to that, but the Olympics, the whole atmosphere is so much different."

Ü.N.: "Can you explain that?"

N.M-tu A.: "Well, see, for one thing, in Baranxtu, if I swim in a competition in the Lēmakanti Stadion, I know there are maybe 50.000 people in the rows and, depending on how far along the season we are, maybe an additional 15 to 25 million at home in front of their TVs. Sure, impressive numbers, but with the olympics, those numbers... well, they significantly more than just quintuple. Suddenly, you are much more aware of pretty much everything. You can feel every nerve in your body tingle."

Ü.N.: "Does this mean we have to fear for your performance?"[/B]

N.M-tu A.: laughs "Nah, I doubt that. A lot of people wouldn't be able to stand this stress, but fortunately, I can sort of channel it all into my performance. Give more than my best, and hopefully, I'll bring home a bit more gold."

Ü.N.: "I'll cross my fingers for you. Now, you were also chosen to be the standard bearer for Baranxtu this year? Are you swelling with pride?"

N.M-tu A.: "Definitely! Being chosen is a huge honor; apparently, the two medals I brought home two years ago really impressed the committee."

Ü.N.: "For the past few months, there have been allegations that the decisions about who could participate in the Olympics was politically biased. Do you agree or disagree with that?"

N.M-tu A.: "I absolutely disagree. I know that many people put all sorts of political hopes into the games, and sports in general, but I have to say they got it all wrong. It's not about that. Well, maybe a little, but on a much grander scale - if we bring home medals, we're bringing them home to Baranxtu, and Cikoutimi, and Otea. But in the end, it's all about the competition, and also the camaraderie, and good old simple fun."

Ü.N.: "So, your fellow athletes also don't agree with this?"

N.M-tu A.: "Well, none that I know of, but with a few hundreds participants, I couldn't tell for anyone. What I do know is that when I jump, I don't just dive in for the Baranxtimans, and Père [Dekouj] doesn't just dive in for the Cikoutimians. If Atis [Ma'aragy] throws that spear, she doesn't just throw it for the Leumi, but to win for all of us."

Ü.N.: "Certainly a commendable view. Well, Nahtēri, I wish you and all our athletes the best for the Olympics. Thank you!"

N.M-tu A.: "Thank you."

---

Results

Yesterday's pitiful soccer show spoils first Olympic day

The first day of the Olympics, before the official start with the opening ceremony, was marred for Baranxtu, Cikoutimi, and Otea by the abysmal showing of the joint soccer teams during the first games of the group stage.

Our men lost against the Krytenian team 3:1, and our women lost 3:1 against Ariddia. In both matches, our teams were disorganized and apparently couldn't tell one half of the field from the other. Afterwards, the trainer for both, Sahan Ikant, blamed the "lack of preparation time for a team of complete stranger" and claimed that "language barriers... were a large reason for this result".

Whatever the reason, let's hope this is not an omen for things to come!

The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport>Olympics>Football
Medium Blues inch to win against incongruous club team
Tracker Edwards in Cordubovia

Long before the people of the Candelarias emerged blinking into the light of the thousand suns of the sporting galaxy, the nation of Bætica thrived in its own right as the powerhouse of Paripana.

And then it didn’t. And that fact underlines one of the salient points of these Olympics, from a Candelariasian perspective – namely how little we truly know or understand of the vast land known as the Unified Capitalizt States. Its sheer scale, never mind its politics and economic values, are largely beyond our ken, and the discussion thereof would be best left for another time. But I as left the familiarity of Columbia and travelled due west to the temporary home of C&M international football for the next week, the city of Cordubovica, one could not help but be reminded of the oft alien nature of the dominant country in global sport.

Though some of the players and supporters alongside me were well experienced in visiting some of the UCS’s largest cities and venues over the recent years of the Champions’ Cup and its sibling events; Bætica represents a wholly new experience to the massed Candelariasian ranks. Joel Mercado could have proven our tour guide, but the Natestadt Nationalisten midfielder was ruled out of the squad through injury at the last moment, and his experience of previous encounters with the Cordubovica Falcons was left untapped. Indeed, there are all too many of our under-23 squad whose experience of overseas travel is thus far limited to Starblaydia.

It goes without saying that, with the Olympics taking place in Atlantean Oceania; Krytenian and Sorthern Northlandish supporters in Cordubovica outnumber their Candelariasian counterparts – but there isn’t much in it. Those C&M native lucky enough to have picked up tickets – any many of them will be attending every Blues game they can – will see five fixtures over the coming days, with the Medium Blues’ female counterparts also playing their games at the Bætica Stadium. On the face of it, both sides have a pretty decent chance to progress into the knock-out stages, though there are a couple of really rather large banana skins.

For Jay Zabojnik’s women, overcoming Gerainia should not prove a problem… at least in theory. In practise, their team put up an excellent performance in defeat to Sorthern Northland, a side who not only have a nice flag but are themselves extremely handy. Our squad, drawn from amateur outfits in C&M and bench-warmers from Jeruselem to Aguazul, will have an almighty battle on their hands to win the group – and, with only two rivals, topping the little table will be utterly vital.

For the Medium Blues, the greatest threat is represented by Krytenia, but against an inexperienced side Trevor Organ’s squad must feel a certain confidence. The manner in which their main rivals brushed aside the combined might of Baranxtu, Cikoutimi and Otea may seem concerning, but half of their players had clearly never met before andnone of those nations can be considered genuine powerhouses of the global game/

Nor can we be, of course; not judging by the performance against Allanea. On paper, they are quite possibly the weakest team in the men’s tournament – and, as far as it was possible to tell, merely a club side at that. Possibly something they’d approve of in these parts; but selecting the best club squad ahead a national select XI would seem a highly retrograde, if not suicidal, step for an NOC to take.

The Takilan Tuxes were duly despatched, but not without a lot of puffing and blowing. Tom Smith, the Arrigo Portuguese man growing in stature in every match, continued where he left off against Daehanjeiguk in the Di Bradini Cup by bagging another brace, while the winner arrived from Tom Osborne’s hopeful lob. Amidst all this however, Stefan Santamaria neatly encapsulated Albrecht FC’s run-in last term by flailing miserably at an early weak effort that gave the Tuxes their equaliser for one-all, while poor Shane Avdeev, the captain on the day and one of the over-age players selected, was culpable for giving the opposition late hope.

With all twenty-three players being uncapped for the senior team, this tournament represents the last opportunity to impress Kris Healy before World Cup 42 qualifying gets underway. On this showing, he’ll be remaining faithful to his current defence, at the very least.

Elsewhere in the football, there were blasts from the past – Coocoostan’s victory over the Fujisawan Territories for one; some changing of the guard – Secristan thrashing Kelssek, the Sortherners holding Ariddia, and Neuvos Aires similarly impressive against the SLANI; and some markers laid down – the Eesseff drubbing East Ying. Among the women’s groups, Alleana lost 7-1 to Neuvos Aires. They’re really not very good over there.

In truth however, Candelariasian hopes seem slim in the football, and our eyes will soon drift elsewhere. A smattering of schedules have thus far been released, the highlight seeing medal hopefuls Pearce Pedotti and Holly Richards drawn up against fellow contenders for the badminton women’s doubles; Sukon Bhumanipam and Pakpao Adulyadej of the Maineiacs. Ekah Dikko looks to have got herself a relatively simple heat in the 100 metres; but the women’s basketball team are up against Cafundéu, the Capitalizt SLANI and Krytenia, among others.

Popular boxer Dean Comley will have a huge task to overcome Ted Watters, with Secristan widely expected to dominate the ring in Columbia, but Eddie ten Heuvel has a bye in the welterweight category.

And the Filipovic/Sovegni axis in the bocce take on Zwangzugian opponents. And I’m genuinely looking forward to the match.

Because that’s the Olympics. For one month every four years or so, we’re reminded that there’s more to the sporting world than twenty-two men and a bouncy sphere.

There’s bocce.

We now present the sixth and final part of our athlete profiles with a look at our entrants in two demonstration sports, wheelchair racing and wheelchair fencing, Rick Martin and Caitlin Jarvis.

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"I'm very glad to be at the real Olympics," says Martin. "The Paralympics is an important way to showcase athletic ability, but to be at the true Olympics is indescribable."

"I would agree," says Jarvis. "Besides, the more publicity we can get for our sport, the better."

Both Martin and Jarvis are no strangers to athletic competition, though they come to this point from two very different directions. Martin came to wheelchair athletics from sheer whim. Born with Spina Bifida, and in a wheelchair since birth, Martin got involved with wheelchair athletics when he saw a poster advertising the Maineiacs Paralympics six years ago, while attending college.

"I know it sounds as if I'm trivializing it, but really, I just got into it because I thought it sounded cool," he said. "Then I sort of got addicted to it."

An addiction that has paid off for him. Martin has won four medals (2 gold, 1 silver, 1 bronze) at the Maineiacs Paralympics, and now hopes to add at least one more medal from the "official" Olympics.

Jarvis's story is much different. Caitlin Jarvis was born physically normal, and was a budding world-class athlete. Voted rookie of the year in the MWSL (Maineiacs Women Soccer League) five years ago, and selected for the National team for the Querzaki Olympics, Jarvis's life was changed forever wehn her car slid off of an icy bridge just four months before the start of the Querzaki games.

"I don't remember the accident at all," she said. "one minute I was getting into my car, the next I woke up in a hospital bed and couldn't feel my legs."

The accident had severed her spine, and she was left paralyzed from the waist down. Her soccer career was finished. Jarvis spent the next several months unsure of her future. When she recovered from her shock, she became determined to continue to compete as an athlete. The Paralympics was her answer.

"It gave me a sense of purpose again. When the chance to compete at the real Olympics came along, I jumped at it."

OOC: I'm not in the main roster :(. I was gone on vacation, that's maybe why. But, I'm back-could I please be placed on it?

It’s a problem with IE—it thinks that the official XHTML 1.1 DTD is invalid. I don’t remember how to work around that, and a quick Google search didn’t help, so unless someone can point me in the right direction, you’ll have to use a different browser.

Right click the link UCS provided. Click "open with word", or whichever word processing system you use. Then click yes to download images. Worked for me after running into the problem Taeshan reported.

OOC: I'm not in the main roster :(. I was gone on vacation, that's maybe why. But, I'm back-could I please be placed on it?
I had all your entries, I just forgot to put you on the list. I’ll fix it shortly.

2008–08–06
Association Football—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 1

2008–08–07
Association Football—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 1

2008–08–09 05:00
American Football—Group Stage Matchday 1
Badminton—Women’s Singles—First Round
Badminton—Women’s Doubles—First Round
Fencing—Women’s Individual Sabre—First Round
Fencing—Women’s Individual Sabre—Second Round
Fencing—Women’s Individual Sabre—Third Round
Handball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 1
Judo—Men’s 60 kg—First Round
Judo—Men’s 60 kg—Second Round
Judo—Women’s 48 kg—First Round
Judo—Women’s 48 kg—Second Round
Lacrosse—Group Stage Matchday 1
Shooting—Men’s 10 m Air Pistol—Qualification
Shooting—Women’s 10 m Air Rifle—Qualification
Shooting—Women’s 10 m Air Rifle—Final
Volleyball—Women’s Beach—Play-In Match
Volleyball—Women’s Indoor—Group Stage Matchday 1
Water Polo—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 1
Weightlifting—Women’s 48 kg

2008–08–09 17:00
Archery—Men’s—Ranking Round
Archery—Women’s—Ranking Round
Association Football—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 2
Basketball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 1
Boxing—Men’s Light Heavyweight—First Round
Cycling—Men’s Road Race
Fencing—Women’s Individual Sabre—Quarterfinals
Fencing—Women’s Individual Sabre—Semifinals
Fencing—Women’s Individual Sabre—Finals
Gymnastics—Men’s Artistic Qualification
Judo—Men’s 60 kg—Quarterfinals
Judo—Men’s 60 kg—Semifinals
Judo—Men’s 60 kg—Finals
Judo—Women’s 48 kg—Quarterfinals
Judo—Women’s 48 kg—Semifinals
Judo—Women’s 48 kg—Finals
Shooting—Men’s 10 m Air Pistol—Final
Swimming—Men’s 400 m Freestyle—Heats
Swimming—Men’s 100 m Breaststroke—Heats
Swimming—Men’s 400 m Individual Medley—Heats
Swimming—Women’s 400 m Freestyle—Heats
Swimming—Women’s 100 m Butterfly—Heats
Swimming—Women’s 400 m Individual Medley—Heats
Swimming—Women’s 4×100 m Freestyle Relay—Heats

2008–08–10 05:00
Archery—Women’s Team—First Round
Archery—Women’s Team—Second Round
Archery—Women’s Team—Quarterfinals
Badminton—Men’s Singles—First Round
Badminton—Women’s Singles—Second Round
Badminton—Women’s Doubles—Second Round
Badminton—Mixed Doubles—First Round
Bocce—Men’s—First Round
Bocce—Women’s—First Round
Boxing—Men’s Heavyweight—First Round
Chess Boxing—Men’s—First Round
Chess Boxing—Women’s—First Round
Equestrian—Eventing—Dressage
Fencing—Men’s Individual Épée—First Round
Fencing—Men’s Individual Épée—Second Round
Fencing—Men’s Individual Épée—Third Round
Handball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 1
Judo—Men’s 66 kg—First Round
Judo—Men’s 66 kg—Second Round
Judo—Women’s 52 kg—First Round
Shooting—Men’s Trap—Qualification
Shooting—Women’s 10 m Air Pistol—Qualification
Shooting—Women’s 10 m Air Pistol—Final
Swimming—Men’s 400 m Freestyle—Semifinals
Swimming—Men’s 400 m Freestyle—Final
Swimming—Men’s 100 m Breaststroke—Semifinals
Swimming—Men’s 400 m Individual Medley—Semifinals
Swimming—Men’s 400 m Individual Medley—Final
Swimming—Women’s 400 m Freestyle—Semifinals
Swimming—Women’s 100 m Butterfly—Semifinals
Swimming—Women’s 400 m Individual Medley—Semifinals
Swimming—Women’s 400 m Individual Medley—Final
Swimming—Women’s 4×100 m Freestyle Relay—Final
Volleyball—Men’s Indoor—Group Stage Matchday 1
Water Polo—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 1
Wheelchair Fencing—Women’s—First Round

2008–08–10 17:00
Archery—Women’s Team—Semifinals
Archery—Women’s Team—Final
Association Football—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 2
Basketball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 1
Boxing—Men’s Welterweight—First Round
Cycling—Women’s Road Race
Diving—Women’s Synchronized 3 m Springboard
Fencing—Men’s Individual Épée—Quarterfinals
Fencing—Men’s Individual Épée—Semifinals
Fencing—Men’s Individual Épée—Finals
Field Hockey—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 1
Gymnastics—Women’s Artistic Qualification
Judo—Men’s 66 kg—Quarterfinals
Judo—Men’s 66 kg—Semifinals
Judo—Men’s 66 kg—Finals
Judo—Women’s 52 kg—Quarterfinals
Judo—Women’s 52 kg—Semifinals
Judo—Women’s 52 kg—Finals
Shooting—Men’s Trap—Final
Swimming—Men’s 200 m Freestyle—Heats
Swimming—Men’s 100 m Backstroke—Heats
Swimming—Men’s 4×100 m Freestyle Relay—Heats
Swimming—Women’s 100 m Backstroke—Heats
Swimming—Women’s 100 m Breaststroke—Heats
Tennis—Men’s Singles—First Round
Tennis—Women’s Singles—First Round
Tennis—Women’s Doubles—First Round
Volleyball—Men’s Beach—Group Stage Matchday 1
Volleyball—Women’s Beach—Group Stage Matchday 1
Weightlifting—Men’s 56 kg
Weightlifting—Women’s 53 kg
Wheelchair Fencing—Women’s—Quarterfinals

2008–08–11 05:00
Archery—Men’s Team—First Round
Archery—Men’s Team—Second Round
Archery—Men’s Team—Quarterfinals
Badminton—Men’s Singles—Second Round
Badminton—Men’s Doubles—First Round
Badminton—Women’s Singles—Third Round
Badminton—Women’s Doubles–Quarterfinals
Croquet—Men’s—First Round
Croquet—Women’s—First Round
Equestrian—Eventing—Cross Country
Fencing—Women’s Individual Foil—First Round
Fencing—Women’s Individual Foil—Second Round
Fencing—Women’s Individual Foil—Third Round
Handball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 2
Judo—Men’s 73 kg—First Round
Judo—Men’s 73 kg—Second Round
Judo—Women’s 57 kg—First Round
Lacrosse—Group Stage Matchday 2
Shooting—Men’s 10 m Air Rifle—Qualification
Shooting—Men’s 10 m Air Rifle—Final
Shooting—Women’s Trap—Qualification
Softball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 1
Swimming—Men’s 200 m Freestyle—Semifinals
Swimimng—Men’s 100 m Backstroke—Semifinals
Swimming—Men’s 100 m Breaststroke—Final
Swimming—Men’s 4×100 m Freestyle Relay—Final
Swimming—Women’s 400 m Freestyle—Final
Swimming—Women’s 100 m Backstroke—Semifinals
Swimming—Women’s 100 m Breaststroke—Semifinals
Swimming—Women’s 100 m Butterfly—Final
Tug of War—First Round
Volleyball—Women’s Indoor—Group Stage Matchday 2
Water Polo—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 1

2008–08–11 17:00
Archery—Men’s Team—Semifinals
Archery—Men’s Team—Final
Basketball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 2
Boxing—Men’s Lightweight—First Round
Diving—Men’s Synchronized 10 m Platform
Fencing—Women’s Individual Foil—Quarterfinals
Fencing—Women’s Individual Foil—Semifinals
Fencing—Women’s Individual Foil—Finals
Field Hockey—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 1
Judo—Men’s 73 kg—Quarterfinals
Judo—Men’s 73 kg—Semifinals
Judo—Men’s 73 kg—Finals
Judo—Women’s 57 kg—Quarterfinals
Judo—Women’s 57 kg—Semifinals
Judo—Women’s 57 kg—Finals
Rowing—Women’s Double Sculls—Semifinals
Rowing—Women’s Pairs—Semifinals
Shooting—Women’s Trap—Final
Swimming—Men’s 200 m Butterfly—Heats
Swimming—Women’s 200 m Freestyle—Heats
Swimming—Women’s 200 m Individual Medley—Heats
Tennis—Men’s Singles—Second Round
Tennis—Men’s Doubles—First Round
Tennis—Women’s Singles—Second Round
Tug of War—Quarterfinals
Weightlifting—Men’s 62 kg
Weightlifting—Women’s 58 kg
Wheelchair Fencing—Women’s—Semifinals
Wheelchair Fencing—Women’s—Finals

2008–08–12 05:00
American Football—Group Stage Matchday 2
Badminton—Men’s Singles—Third Round
Badminton—Men’s Doubles—Second Round
Badminton—Mixed Doubles—Second Round
Bocce—Men’s—Quarterfinals
Bocce—Women’s—Quarterfinals
Canoeing—Men’s Slalom C-1—Semifinal
Canoeing—Men’s Slalom K-1—Semifinal
Canoeing—Women’s Slalom C-1—Semifinal
Fencing—Men’s Individual Sabre—First Round
Fencing—Men’s Individual Sabre—Second Round
Fencing—Men’s Individual Sabre—Third Round
Gymnastics—Men’s Artistic Team
Handball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 2
Judo—Men’s 81 kg—First Round
Judo—Women’s 63 kg—First Round
Judo—Women’s 63 kg—Second Round
Shooting—Men’s 50 m Pistol—Qualification
Shooting—Men’s 50 m Pistol—Final
Shooting—Men’s Double Trap—Qualification
Shooting—Women’s Double Trap—Qualification
Softball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 2
Swimming—Men’s 200 m Freestyle—Final
Swimming—Men’s 100 m Backstroke—Final
Swimming—Men’s 200 m Butterfly—Semifinals
Swimming—Women’s 200 m Freestyle—Semifinals
Swimming—Women’s 100 m Backstroke—Final
Swimming—Women’s 100 m Breaststroke—Final
Swimming—Women’s 200 m Individual Medley—Semifinals
Tug of War—Semifinals
Tug of War—Finals
Volleyball—Men’s Indoor—Group Stage Matchday 2
Water Polo—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 2
Wheelchair Fencing—Men’s—First Round
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 55 kg—Qualification
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 60 kg—Qualification
Wrestling—Women’s Greco-Roman 48 kg—Qualification

2008–08–12 17:00
Archery—Men’s Individual—First Round
Archery—Men’s Individual—Second Round
Archery—Women’s Individual—First Round
Archery—Women’s Individual—Second Round
Association Football—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 3
Basketball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 2
Canoeing—Men’s Slalom C-1—Final
Canoeing—Men’s Slalom K-1—Final
Canoeing—Women’s Slalom C-1—Final
Diving—Women’s Synchronized 10 m Platform
Equestrian—Eventing—Show Jumping
Equestrian—Eventing—Jumping Final
Fencing—Men’s Individual Sabre—Quarterfinals
Fencing—Men’s Individual Sabre—Semifinals
Fencing—Men’s Individual Sabre—Finals
Field Hockey—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 2
Judo—Men’s 81 kg—Quarterfinals
Judo—Men’s 81 kg—Semifinals
Judo—Men’s 81 kg—Finals
Judo—Women’s 63 kg—Quarterfinals
Judo—Women’s 63 kg—Semifinals
Judo—Women’s 63 kg—Finals
Rowing—Men’s Eights—Semifinals
Rowing—Women’s Quadruple Sculls—Semifinals
Rowing—Women’s Eights—Semifinals
Shooting—Men’s Double Trap—Final
Shooting—Women’s Double Trap—Final
Swimming—Men’s 100 m Freestyle—Heats
Swimming—Men’s 200 m Breaststroke—Heats
Swimming—Men’s 4×200 m Freestyle Relay—Heats
Swimming—Women’s 200 m Butterfly—Heats
Tennis—Men’s Singles—Third Round
Tennis—Men’s Doubles—Second Round
Tennis—Women’s Singles—Third Round
Tennis—Women’s Doubles—Second Round
Volleyball—Men’s Beach—Group Stage Matchday 2
Volleyball—Women’s Beach—Group Stage Matchday 2
Weightlifting—Men’s 69 kg
Weightlifting—Women’s 63 kg
Wheelchair Fencing—Men’s—Quarterfinals
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 55 kg—Semifinals
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 55 kg—Finals
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 60 kg—Semifinals
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 60 kg—Finals
Wrestling—Women’s Greco-Roman 48 kg—Semifinals
Wrestling—Women’s Greco-Roman 48 kg—Finals

2008–08–13 05:00
Badminton—Women’s Singles—Quarterfinals
Badminton—Women’s Doubles—Semifinals
Baseball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 1
Boxing—Men’s Heavyweight—Second Round
Boxing—Women’s Heavyweight—First Round
Chess Boxing—Men’s—Second Round
Chess Boxing—Women’s—Second Round
Croquet—Men’s—Quarterfinals
Croquet—Women’s—Quarterfinals
Cycling—Women’s Road Time Trial
Fencing—Men’s Individual Foil—First Round
Fencing—Men’s Individual Foil—Second Round
Fencing—Men’s Individual Foil—Third Round
Fencing—Women’s Individual Épée—First Round
Fencing—Women’s Individual Épée—Second Round
Fencing—Women’s Individual Épée—Third Round
Gymnastics—Women’s Artistic Team All-Around
Handball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 3
Judo—Men’s 90 kg—First Round
Judo—Men’s 90 kg—Second Round
Judo—Women’s 70 kg—First Round
Lacrosse—Group Stage Matchday 3
Rowing—Men’s Single Sculls—Semifinals
Rowing—Women’s Single Sculls—Semifinals
Shooting—Women’s 25 m Pistol—Qualification
Softball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 3
Swimming—Men’s 100 m Freestyle—Semifinals
Swimming—Men’s 200 m Breaststroke—Semifinals
Swimming—Men’s 200 m Butterfly—Final
Swimming—Men’s 4×200 m Freestyle Relay—Final
Swimming—Women’s 200 m Freestyle—Final
Swimming—Women’s 200 m Butterfly—Semifinals
Swimming—Women’s 200 m Individual Medley—Final
Volleyball—Women’s Indoor—Group Stage Matchday 3
Water Polo—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 1
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 66 kg—Qualification
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 74 kg—Qualification
Wrestling—Women’s Greco-Roman 55 kg—Qualification

2008–08–13 17:00
Association Football—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 3
Basketball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 3
Boxing—Men’s Super Heavyweight—First Round
Boxing—Women’s Super Heavyweight—First Round
Cycling—Men’s Road Time Trial
Diving—Men’s Synchronized 3 m Springboard
Fencing—Men’s Individual Foil—Quarterfinals
Fencing—Men’s Individual Foil—Semifinals
Fencing—Men’s Individual Foil—Finals
Fencing—Women’s Individual Épée—Quarterfinals
Fencing—Women’s Individual Épée—Semifinals
Fencing—Women’s Individual Épée—Finals
Field Hockey—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 2
Judo—Men’s 90 kg—Quarterfinals
Judo—Men’s 90 kg—Semifinals
Judo—Men’s 90 kg—Finals
Judo—Women’s 70 kg—Quarterfinals
Judo—Women’s 70 kg—Semifinals
Judo—Women’s 70 kg—Finals
Rowing—Men’s Double Sculls—Semifinals
Rowing—Men’s Pairs—Semifinals
Rowing—Men’s Fours—Semifinals
Rowing—Women’s Fours—Semifinals
Shooting—Women’s 25 m Pistol—Final
Swimming—Men’s 200 m Backstroke—Heats
Swimming—Men’s 200 m Individual Medley—Heats
Swimming—Women’s 100 m Freestyle—Heats
Swimming—Women’s 200 m Breaststroke—Heats
Swimming—Women’s 4×200 m Freestyle Relay—Heats
Table Tennis—Women’s Doubles—First Round
Tennis—Men’s Singles—Fourth Round
Tennis—Men’s Doubles—Third Round
Tennis—Women’s Singles—Fourth Round
Tennis—Women’s Doubles—Third Round
Weightlifting—Men’s 77 kg
Weightlifting—Women’s 69 kg
Wheelchair Fencing—Men’s—Semifinals
Wheelchair Fencing—Men’s—Finals
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 66 kg—Semifinals
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 66 kg—Finals
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 74 kg—Semifinals
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 74 kg—Finals
Wrestling—Women’s Greco-Roman 55 kg—Semifinals
Wrestling—Women’s Greco-Roman 55 kg—Finals

2008–08–14 05:00
Archery—Women’s Individual—Third Round
Archery—Women’s Individual—Quarterfinals
Badminton—Men’s Singles—Quarterfinals
Badminton—Men’s Doubles—Quarterfinals
Badminton—Mixed Doubles—Quarterfinals
Baseball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 2
Bocce—Men’s—Semifinals
Bocce—Men’s—Finals
Bocce—Women’s—Semifinals
Bocce—Women’s—Finals
Boxing—Men’s Light Heavyweight—Second Round
Boxing—Women’s Light Heavyweight—First Round
Canoeing—Men’s Slalom C-2—Semifinal
Canoeing—Women’s Slalom C-2—Semifinal
Canoeing—Women’s Slalom K-1—Semifinal
Cliff Diving—Men’s
Cliff Diving—Women’s
Fencing—Women’s Team Sabre—First Round
Fencing—Women’s Team Sabre—Quarterfinals
Gymnastics—Men’s Individual All-Around
Handball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 3
Judo—Men’s 100 kg—First Round
Judo—Women’s 78 kg—First Round
Shooting—Women’s 50 m Rifle Three Positions—Qualification
Shooting—Women’s 50 m Rifle Three Positions—Final
Shooting—Women’s Skeet—Qualification
Softball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 1
Softball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 4
Swimming—Men’s 100 m Freestyle—Final
Swimming—Men’s 200 m Backstroke—Semifinals
Swimming—Men’s 200 m Breaststroke—Final
Swimming—Men’s 200 m Individual Medley—Semifinals
Swimming—Women’s 100 m Freestyle—Semifinals
Swimming—Women’s 200 m Breaststroke—Semifinals
Swimming—Women’s 200 m Butterfly—Final
Swimming—Women’s 4×200 m Freestyle Relay—Final
Volleyball—Men’s Indoor—Group Stage Matchday 3
Water Polo—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 3
Wheelchair Racing—Men’s—Semifinals
Wheelchair Racing—Women’s—Semifinals
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 84 kg—Qualification
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 96 kg—Qualification
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 120 kg—Qualification

2008–08–14 17:00
Archery—Women’s Individual—Semifinals
Archery—Women’s Individual—Finals
Basketball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 3
Boxing—Men’s Light Welterweight—First Round
Boxing—Men’s Welterweight—Second Round
Boxing—Women’s Light Welterweight—First Round
Boxing—Women’s Welterweight—First Round
Canoeing—Men’s Slalom C-2—Final
Canoeing—Women’s Slalom C-2—Final
Canoeing—Women’s Slalom K-1—Final
Equestrian—Dressage—Grand Prix Test
Fencing—Women’s Team Sabre—Semifinals
Fencing—Women’s Team Sabre—Finals
Field Hockey—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 3
Judo—Men’s 100 kg—Quarterfinals
Judo—Men’s 100 kg—Semifinals
Judo—Men’s 100 kg—Finals
Judo—Women’s 78 kg—Quarterfinals
Judo—Women’s 78 kg—Semifinals
Judo—Women’s 78 kg—Finals
Rowing—Men’s Quadruple Sculls—Semifinals
Shooting—Women’s Skeet—Final
Swimming—Men’s 50 m Freestyle—Heats
Swimming—Men’s 100 m Butterfly—Heats
Swimming—Women’s 800 m Freestyle—Heats
Swimming—Women’s 200 m Backstroke—Heats
Table Tennis—Men’s Doubles—First Round
Table Tennis—Women’s Doubles—Second Round
Tennis—Men’s Singles—Quarterfinals
Tennis—Men’s Doubles—Quarterfinals
Tennis—Women’s Singles—Quarterfinals
Tennis—Women’s Doubles—Quarterfinals
Volleyball—Men’s Beach—Group Stage Matchday 3
Volleyball—Women’s Beach—Group Stage Matchday 3
Wheelchair Racing—Men’s—Final
Wheelchair Racing—Women’s—Final
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 84 kg—Semifinals
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 84 kg—Finals
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 96 kg—Semifinals
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 96 kg—Finals
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 120 kg—Semifinals
Wrestling—Men’s Greco-Roman 120 kg—Finals

2008–08–15 05:00
American Football—Group Stage Matchday 3
Archery—Men’s Individual—Third Round
Archery—Men’s Individual—Quarterfinals
Athletics—Men’s 100 m—Heats
Athletics—Men’s Shot Put—Qualification
Athletics—Men’s Discus Throw—Qualification
Athletics—Men’s Hammer Throw—Qualification
Athletics—Women’s 800 m—Heats
Athletics—Women’s 10000 m—Heats
Badminton—Men’s Singles—Semifinals
Badminton—Men’s Doubles—Semifinals
Badminton—Women’s Singles—Semifinals
Baseball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 1
Baseball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 3
Boxing—Men’s Lightweight—Second Round
Boxing—Women’s Lightweight—First Round
Croquet—Men’s—Semifinals
Croquet—Men’s—Finals
Croquet—Women’s—Semifinals
Croquet—Women’s—Finals
Fencing—Men’s Team Épée—First Round
Fencing—Men’s Team Épée—Quarterfinals
Fencing—Women’s Team Épée—First Round
Fencing—Women’s Team Épée—Quarterfinals
Gymnastics—Women’s Individual All-Around
Handball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 4
Judo—Men’s Over 100 kg—First Round
Judo—Women’s Over 78 kg—First Round
Lacrosse—Group Stage Matchday 4
Shooting—Men’s 25 m Rapid Fire Pistol—Qualification
Shooting—Men’s 50 m Rifle Prone—Qualification
Shooting—Men’s 50 m Rifle Prone—Final
Shooting—Men’s Skeet—Qualification
Shooting—Women’s 50 m Rifle Prone—Qualification
Shooting—Women’s 50 m Rifle Prone—Final
Softball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 2
Softball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 5
Swimming—Men’s 50 m Freestyle—Semifinals
Swimming—Men’s 200 m Backstroke—Final
Swimming—Men’s 100 m Butterfly—Semifinals
Swimming—Men’s 200 m Individual Medley—Final
Swimming—Women’s 100 m Freestyle—Final
Swimming—Women’s 800 m Freestyle—Semifinals
Swimming—Women’s 200 m Backstroke—Semifinals
Swimming—Women’s 200 m Breaststroke—Final
Volleyball—Women’s Indoor—Group Stage Matchday 4
Water Polo—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 1

2008–08–15 17:00
Archery—Men’s Individual—Semifinals
Archery—Men’s Individual—Finals
Association Football—Women’s—Quarterfinals
Athletics—Men’s 100 m—Quarterfinals
Athletics—Men’s 1500 m—Heats
Athletics—Men’s 400 m Hurdles—Heats
Athletics—Men’s Shot Put—Final
Athletics—Women’s 10000 m—Final
Athletics—Women’s 3000 m Steeplechase—Heats
Athletics—Women’s Triple Jump—Qualification
Athletics—Women’s Discus Throw—Qualification
Athletics—Women’s Heptathlon—Day 1
Badminton—Women’s Doubles—Finals
Basketball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 4
Boxing—Men’s Bantamweight—First Round
Boxing—Men’s Featherweight—First Round
Boxing—Women’s Bantamweight—First Round
Boxing—Women’s Featherweight—First Round
Cycling—Men’s Track Individual Pursuit—Qualification
Cycling—Men’s Track Team Sprint—Qualification
Cycling—Men’s Track Team Sprint—First Round
Cycling—Men’s Track Team Sprint—Finals
Cycling—Women’s Track Individual Pursuit—Qualification
Cycling—Women’s Track Team Sprint—Qualification
Cycling—Women’s Track Team Sprint—First Round
Cycling—Women’s Track Team Sprint—Finals
Diving—Women’s 3 m Springboard—Preliminaries
Equestrian—Jumping—First Qualifier
Fencing—Men’s Team Épée—Semifinals
Fencing—Men’s Team Épée—Finals
Fencing—Women’s Team Épée—Semifinals
Fencing—Women’s Team Épée—Finals
Field Hockey—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 3
Judo—Men’s Over 100 kg—Quarterfinals
Judo—Men’s Over 100 kg—Semifinals
Judo—Men’s Over 100 kg—Finals
Judo—Women’s Over 78 kg—Quarterfinals
Judo—Women’s Over 78 kg—Semifinals
Judo—Women’s Over 78 kg—Finals
Swimming—Men’s 1500 m Freestyle—Heats
Swimming—Men’s 4×100 m Medley Relay—Heats
Swimming—Women’s 50 m Freestyle—Heats
Swimming—Women’s 4×100 m Medley Relay—Heats
Table Tennis—Men’s Doubles—Second Round
Table Tennis—Women’s Doubles—Quarterfinals
Tennis—Men’s Singles—Semifinals
Tennis—Men’s Doubles—Semifinals
Tennis—Women’s Singles—Semifinals
Tennis—Women’s Doubles—Semifinals
Volleyball—Women’s Beach—Second Round
Weightlifting—Men’s 85 kg
Weightlifting—Women’s 75 kg

2008–08–16 05:00
Athletics—Men’s 10000 m—Heats
Athletics—Men’s 400 m Hurdles—Quarterfinals
Athletics—Men’s 3000 m Steeplechase—Heats
Athletics—Men’s 20 km Walk
Athletics—Women’s 100 m—Heats
Athletics—Women’s 400 m—Heats
Athletics—Women’s Pole Vault—Qualification
Athletics—Women’s Shot Put—Qualification
Badminton—Mixed Doubles—Semifinals
Baseball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 2
Baseball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 4
Basketball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 4
Boxing—Men’s Flyweight—First Round
Boxing—Women’s Flyweight—First Round
Fencing—Men’s Team Foil—First Round
Fencing—Men’s Team Foil—Quarterfinals
Fencing—Women’s Team Foil—First Round
Fencing—Women’s Team Foil—Quarterfinals
Gymnastics—Men’s Trampoline—Qualification
Gymnastics—Women’s Trampoline—Qualification
Handball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 4
Rowing—Men’s Single Sculls—Final
Rowing—Women’s Single Sculls—Final
Sailing—Women’s Keelboat
Sailing—Heavyweight Dinghy
Shooting—Men’s 25 m Rapid Fire Pistol—Final
Shooting—Women’s 25 m Rapid Fire Pistol—Qualification
Shooting—Women’s 25 m Rapid Fire Pistol—Final
Softball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 3
Softball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 6
Swimming—Men’s 50 m Freestyle—Final
Swimming—Men’s 1500 m Freestyle—Semifinals
Swimming—Men’s 100 m Butterfly—Final
Swimming—Women’s 50 m Freestyle—Semifinals
Swimming—Women’s 800 m Freestyle—Final
Swimming—Women’s 200 m Backstroke—Final
Volleyball—Men’s Indoor—Group Stage Matchday 4
Water Polo—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 4

2008–08–16 17:00
Association Football—Men’s—Quarterfinals
Athletics—Men’s 100 m—Semifinals
Athletics—Men’s 100 m—Final
Athletics—Men’s 400 m Hurdles—Semifinals
Athletics—Men’s Long Jump—Qualification
Athletics—Women’s 100 m—Quarterfinals
Athletics—Women’s 400 m—Quarterfinals
Athletics—Women’s 800 m—Semifinals
Athletics—Women’s 3000 m Steeplechase—Semifinals
Athletics—Women’s Shot Put—Final
Athletics—Women’s Heptathlon—Day 2
Badminton—Men’s Singles—Bronze Medal Match
Badminton—Men’s Doubles—Finals
Badminton—Women’s Singles—Finals
Boxing—Men’s Light Flyweight—First Round
Boxing—Men’s Middleweight—First Round
Boxing—Women’s Light Flyweight—First Round
Boxing—Women’s Middleweight—First Round
Cycling—Men’s Track Keirin—First Round
Cycling—Men’s Track Keirin–Repêchage
Cycling—Men’s Track Keirin—Second Round
Cycling—Men’s Track Keirin—Finals
Cycling—Men’s Track Points Race
Cycling—Men’s Track Individual Pursuit—First Round
Cycling—Men’s Track Individual Pursuit—Finals
Cycling—Women’s Track Keirin—First Round
Cycling—Women’s Track Keirin–Repêchage
Cycling—Women’s Track Keirin—Second Round
Cycling—Women’s Track Keirin—Finals
Cycling—Women’s Track Individual Pursuit—First Round
Diving—Women’s 3 m Springboard—Semifinal
Diving—Women’s 3 m Springboard—Final
Equestrian—Dressage—Grand Prix Special
Fencing—Men’s Team Foil—Semifinals
Fencing—Men’s Team Foil—Finals
Fencing—Women’s Team Foil—Semifinals
Fencing—Women’s Team Foil—Finals
Field Hockey—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 4
Rowing—Men’s Double Sculls—Final
Rowing—Men’s Pairs—Final
Rowing—Men’s Fours—Final
Rowing—Women’s Double Sculls—Final
Rowing—Women’s Pairs—Final
Rowing—Women’s Fours—Final
Shooting—Men’s Skeet—Final
Table Tennis—Men’s Doubles—Quarterfinals
Table Tennis—Men’s Doubles—Semifinals
Tennis—Men’s Singles—Bronze Medal Match
Tennis—Men’s Doubles—Finals
Tennis—Women’s Singles—Finals
Tennis—Women’s Doubles—Bronze Medal Match
Volleyball—Men’s Beach—Second Round
Weightlifting—Women’s Over 75 kg

2008–08–17 05:00
Athletics—Women’s 100 m Hurdles—Heats
Athletics—Women’s Marathon
Baseball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 3
Baseball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 5
Cycling—Men’s Track Team Pursuit—Qualification
Cycling—Women’s Track Team Pursuit—Qualification
Fencing—Men’s Team Sabre—First Round
Fencing—Men’s Team Sabre—Quarterfinals
Handball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 5
Lacrosse—Group Stage Matchday 5
Rowing—Men’s Lightweight Double Sculls
Rowing—Men’s Lightweight Fours
Rowing—Women’s Lightweight Double Sculls
Rowing—Women’s Lightweight Fours
Sailing—Skiff
Shooting—Men’s 50 m Rifle Three Positions—Qualification
Shooting—Men’s 50 m Rifle Three Positions—Final
Softball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 4
Softball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 7
Swimming—Men’s 1500 m Freestyle—Final
Swimming—Men’s 4×100 m Medley Relay—Final
Swimming—Women’s 50 m Freestyle—Final
Swimming—Women’s 4×100 m Medley Relay—Final
Volleyball—Women’s Indoor—Group Stage Matchday 5
Water Polo—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 1

2008–08–17 17:00
Athletics—Men’s 1500 m—Semifinals
Athletics—Men’s 10000 m—Final
Athletics—Men’s 3000 m Steeplechase—Semifinals
Athletics—Men’s High Jump—Qualification
Athletics—Men’s Hammer Throw—Final
Athletics—Women’s 100 m—Semifinals
Athletics—Women’s 100 m—Final
Athletics—Women’s 400 m—Semifinals
Athletics—Women’s 100 m Hurdles—Quarterfinals
Athletics—Women’s 400 m Hurdles—Heats
Athletics—Women’s 3000 m Steeplechase—Final
Athletics—Women’s Triple Jump—Final
Badminton—Men’s Singles—Gold Medal Match
Badminton—Mixed Doubles—Finals
Basketball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 5
Boxing—Men’s Light Welterweight—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Men’s Welterweight—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Men’s Heavyweight—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Women’s Light Welterweight—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Women’s Welterweight—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Women’s Heavyweight—Quarterfinals
Chess Boxing—Men’s—Quarterfinals
Chess Boxing—Women’s—Quarterfinals
Cycling—Men’s Track Team Pursuit—First Round
Cycling—Men’s Track Individual Sprint—Qualification
Cycling—Men’s Track Individual Sprint—First Round
Cycling—Men’s Track Individual Sprint—First Repêchage
Cycling—Men’s Track Individual Sprint—Second Round
Cycling—Men’s Track Individual Sprint—Second Repêchage
Cycling—Women’s Track Individual Pursuit—Finals
Cycling—Women’s Track Team Pursuit—First Round
Cycling—Women’s Track Individual Sprint—Qualification
Cycling—Women’s Track Individual Sprint—First Round
Cycling—Women’s Track Individual Sprint—First Repêchage
Cycling—Women’s Track Individual Sprint—Second Round
Cycling—Women’s Track Individual Sprint—Second Repêchage
Equestrian—Jumping—Second Qualifier
Fencing—Men’s Team Sabre—Semifinals
Fencing—Men’s Team Sabre—Finals
Gymnastics—Men’s Floor Exercise
Gymnastics—Men’s Pommel Horse
Gymnastics—Women’s Floor Exercise
Gymnastics—Women’s Pommel Horse
Gymnastics—Women’s Vault
Rowing—Men’s Quadruple Sculls—Final
Rowing—Men’s Eights—Final
Rowing—Women’s Quadruple Sculls—Final
Rowing—Women’s Eights—Final
Table Tennis—Men’s Doubles—Semifinals
Table Tennis—Women’s Doubles—Finals
Tennis—Men’s Singles—Gold Medal Match
Tennis—Women’s Doubles—Gold Medal Match
Volleyball—Women’s Beach—Quarterfinals
Weightlifting—Men’s 94 kg

2008–08–18 05:00
Athletics—Men’s 200 m—Heats
Athletics—Men’s 400 m—Heats
Athletics—Men’s 110 m Hurdles—Heats
Athletics—Men’s Triple Jump—Qualification
Athletics—Women’s 400 m Hurdles—Quarterfinals
Athletics—Women’s Hammer Throw—Qualification
Baseball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 4
Baseball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 6
Handball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 5
Sailing—Men’s Two Person Dinghy
Sailing—Women’s Two Person Dinghy
Softball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 5
Softball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 8
Triathlon—Men’s
Volleyball—Men’s Indoor—Group Stage Matchday 5
Water Polo—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 5

2008–08–18 17:00
Association Football—Women’s—Semifinals
Athletics—Men’s 200 m—Quarterfinals
Athletics—Men’s 400 m—Quarterfinals
Athletics—Men’s 400 m Hurdles—Final
Athletics—Men’s 3000 m Steeplechase—Final
Athletics—Men’s Long Jump—Final
Athletics—Women’s 800 m—Final
Athletics—Women’s 100 m Hurdles—Semifinals
Athletics—Women’s 400 m Hurdles—Semifinals
Athletics—Women’s Pole Vault—Final
Athletics—Women’s Discus Throw—Final
Basketball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 5
Boxing—Men’s Bantamweight—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Men’s Featherweight—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Men’s Super Heavyweight—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Women’s Bantamweight—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Women’s Featherweight—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Women’s Super Heavyweight—Quarterfinals
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater C-1 1000 m—Heats
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater C-2 1000 m—Heats
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater K-1 1000 m—Heats
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater K-2 1000 m—Heats
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater K-4 1000 m—Heats
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater K-1 1000 m—Heats
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater K-2 1000 m—Heats
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater K-4 500 m—Heats
Cycling—Men’s Track Team Pursuit—Finals
Cycling—Men’s Track Individual Sprint—Quarterfinals
Cycling—Women’s Track Points Race
Cycling—Women’s Track Team Pursuit—Finals
Cycling—Women’s Track Individual Sprint—Quarterfinals
Diving—Men’s 3 m Springboard—Preliminaries
Equestrian—Jumping—Third Qualifier
Field Hockey—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 5
Gymnastics—Men’s Rings
Gymnastics—Men’s Uneven Bars
Gymnastics—Men’s Vault
Gymnastics—Women’s Rings
Gymnastics—Women’s Uneven Bars
Gymnastics—Women’s Trampoline—Final
Synchronized Swimming—Men’s Duet—Technical Routine
Synchronized Swimming—Women’s Duet—Technical Routine
Table Tennis—Men’s Doubles—Finals
Volleyball—Men’s Beach—Quarterfinals
Weightlifting—Men’s 105 kg

2008–08–19 05:00
Athletics—Women’s 200 m—Heats
Athletics—Women’s 1500 m—Heats
Athletics—Women’s 5000 m—Heats
Athletics—Women’s Long Jump—Qualification
Athletics—Women’s Javelin Throw—Qualification
Baseball—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 5
Baseball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 7
Diving—Men’s 3 m Springboard—Semifinal
Handball—Women’s—Quarterfinals
Lacrosse—Quarterfinals
Sailing—Men’s One Person Dinghy
Sailing—Women’s One Person Dinghy
Softball—Women’s—Group Stage Matchday 9
Triathlon—Women’s
Volleyball—Women’s Indoor—Quarterfinals
Water Polo—Women’s—Semifinals
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 55 kg—Qualification
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 60 kg—Qualification
Wrestling—Women’s Greco-Roman 63 kg—Qualification

2008–08–19 17:00
Association Football—Men’s—Semifinals
Athletics—Men’s 200 m—Semifinals
Athletics—Men’s 400 m—Semifinals
Athletics—Men’s 1500 m—Final
Athletics—Men’s 110 m Hurdles—Quarterfinals
Athletics—Men’s High Jump—Final
Athletics—Men’s Discus Throw—Final
Athletics—Women’s 200 m—Quarterfinals
Athletics—Women’s 400 m—Final
Athletics—Women’s 100 m Hurdles—Final
Basketball—Women’s—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Men’s Light Flyweight—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Men’s Lightweight—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Men’s Light Heavyweight—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Women’s Light Flyweight—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Women’s Lightweight—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Women’s Light Heavyweight—Quarterfinals
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater C-1 500 m—Heats
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater C-2 500 m—Heats
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater K-1 500 m—Heats
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater K-2 500 m—Heats
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater K-4 500 m—Heats
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater K-1 500 m—Heats
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater K-2 500 m—Heats
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater K-4 1000 m—Heats
Cycling—Men’s Track Madison
Cycling—Men’s Track Individual Sprint—Semifinals
Cycling—Men’s Track Individual Sprint—Finals
Cycling—Women’s Track Madison
Cycling—Women’s Track Individual Sprint—Semifinals
Cycling—Women’s Track Individual Sprint—Finals
Diving—Men’s 3 m Springboard—Final
Equestrian—Dressage—Grand Prix Freestyle
Field Hockey—Men’s—Quarterfinals
Gymnastics—Men’s Balance Beam
Gymnastics—Men’s Horizontal Bar
Gymnastics—Men’s Parallel Bars
Gymnastics—Men’s Trampoline—Final
Gymnastics—Women’s Balance Beam
Gymnastics—Women’s Horizontal Bar
Gymnastics—Women’s Parallel Bars
Table Tennis—Men’s Singles—First Round
Table Tennis—Women’s Singles—First Round
Volleyball—Women’s Beach—Semifinals
Weightlifting—Men’s Over 105 kg
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 55 kg—Semifinals
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 55 kg—Finals
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 60 kg—Semifinals
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 60 kg—Finals
Wrestling—Women’s Greco-Roman 63 kg—Semifinals
Wrestling—Women’s Greco-Roman 63 kg—Finals

2008–08–20 05:00
Cycling—Men’s BMX—Seeding Time Trial
Cycling—Men’s BMX—Quarterfinals
Cycling—Women’s BMX—Seeding Time Trial
Cycling—Women’s BMX—Quarterfinals
Handball—Men’s—Quarterfinals
Sailing—Men’s Windsurfer
Sailing—Women’s Windsurfer
Softball—Men’s—Semifinals
Softball—Women’s—Semifinals
Swimming—Women’s 10000 m Freestyle
Table Tennis—Women’s Singles—Second Round
Taekwondo—Men’s 58 kg—First Round
Taekwondo—Men’s 58 kg—Second Round
Taekwondo—Women’s 49 kg—First Round
Volleyball—Men’s Indoor—Quarterfinals
Water Polo—Men’s—Quarterfinals
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 66 kg—Qualification
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 74 kg—Qualification
Wrestling—Women’s Greco-Roman 72 kg—Qualification

2008–08–20 17:00
Athletics—Men’s 200 m—Final
Athletics—Men’s 800 m—Heats
Athletics—Men’s 5000 m—Heats
Athletics—Men’s 110 m Hurdles—Semifinals
Athletics—Men’s Pole Vault—Qualification
Athletics—Women’s 200 m—Semifinals
Athletics—Women’s 400 m Hurdles—Final
Athletics—Women’s 50 km Walk
Athletics—Women’s Hammer Throw—Final
Basketball—Men’s—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Men’s Flyweight—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Men’s Middleweight—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Women’s Flyweight—Quarterfinals
Boxing—Women’s Middleweight—Quarterfinals
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater C-1 1000 m—Semifinals
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater C-2 1000 m—Semifinals
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater K-1 1000 m—Semifinals
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater K-2 1000 m—Semifinals
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater K-4 1000 m—Semifinals
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater K-1 1000 m—Semifinals
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater K-2 1000 m—Semifinals
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater K-4 500 m—Semifinals
Diving—Women’s 10 m Platform—Preliminaries
Field Hockey—Women’s—Semifinals
Softball—Men’s—Bronze Medal Match
Softball—Women’s—Bronze Medal Match
Synchronized Swimming—Men’s Duet—Free Routine
Synchronized Swimming—Women’s Duet—Free Routine
Table Tennis—Men’s Singles—Second Round
Table Tennis—Women’s Singles—Third Round
Taekwondo—Men’s 58 kg—Quarterfinals
Taekwondo—Men’s 58 kg—Semifinals
Taekwondo—Men’s 58 kg—Final
Taekwondo—Women’s 49 kg—Quarterfinals
Taekwondo—Women’s 49 kg—Semifinals
Taekwondo—Women’s 49 kg—Final
Volleyball—Men’s Beach—Semifinals
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 66 kg—Semifinals
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 66 kg—Finals
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 74 kg—Semifinals
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 74 kg—Finals
Wrestling—Women’s Greco-Roman 72 kg—Semifinals
Wrestling—Women’s Greco-Roman 72 kg—Finals

2008–08–21 05:00
Athletics—Men’s 800 m—Quarterfinals
Athletics—Men’s Javelin Throw—Qualification
Athletics—Women’s 20 km Walk
Athletics—Women’s High Jump—Qualification
Cycling—Men’s BMX—Semifinals
Cycling—Men’s BMX—Final
Cycling—Women’s BMX—Semifinals
Cycling—Women’s BMX—Final
Diving—Women’s 10 m Platform—Semifinal
Handball—Women’s—Semifinals
Lacrosse—Semifinals
Sailing—Men’s Keelboat
Sailing—Multihull
Swimming—Men’s 10000 m Freestyle
Table Tennis—Men’s Singles—Third Round
Table Tennis—Women’s Singles—Fourth Round
Taekwondo—Men’s 68 kg—First Round
Taekwondo—Men’s 68 kg—Second Round
Taekwondo—Women’s 57 kg—First Round
Volleyball—Women’s Indoor—Semifinals
Water Polo—Women’s—Finals
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 84 kg—Qualification
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 96 kg—Qualification
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 120 kg—Qualification

2008–08–21 17:00
Association Football—Women’s—Finals
Athletics—Men’s 400 m—Final
Athletics—Men’s 800 m—Semifinals
Athletics—Men’s 5000 m—Semifinals
Athletics—Men’s 110 m Hurdles—Final
Athletics—Men’s 4×100 m Relay—Heats
Athletics—Men’s Triple Jump—Final
Athletics—Men’s Decathlon—Day 1
Athletics—Women’s 200 m—Final
Athletics—Women’s 1500 m—Semifinals
Athletics—Women’s 5000 m—Semifinals
Athletics—Women’s 4×100 m Relay—Heats
Athletics—Women’s Javelin Throw—Final
Basketball—Women’s—Semifinals
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater C-1 500 m—Semifinals
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater C-2 500 m—Semifinals
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater K-1 500 m—Semifinals
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater K-2 500 m—Semifinals
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater K-4 500 m—Semifinals
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater K-1 500 m—Semifinals
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater K-2 500 m—Semifinals
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater K-4 1000 m—Semifinals
Diving—Women’s 10 m Platform—Final
Equestrian—Jumping—Final Round A
Equestrian—Jumping—Final Round B
Field Hockey—Men’s—Semifinals
Modern Pentathlon—Men’s
Softball—Men’s—Gold Medal Match
Softball—Women’s—Gold Medal Match
Table Tennis—Men’s Singles—Fourth Round
Table Tennis—Women’s Singles—Quarterfinals
Taekwondo—Men’s 68 kg—Quarterfinals
Taekwondo—Men’s 68 kg—Semifinals
Taekwondo—Men’s 68 kg—Final
Taekwondo—Women’s 57 kg—Quarterfinals
Taekwondo—Women’s 57 kg—Semifinals
Taekwondo—Women’s 57 kg—Final
Volleyball—Women’s Beach—Final
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 84 kg—Semifinals
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 84 kg—Finals
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 96 kg—Semifinals
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 96 kg—Finals
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 120 kg—Semifinals
Wrestling—Men’s Freestyle 120 kg—Finals

2008–08–22 05:00
Athletics—Men’s 4×100 m Relay—Semifinals
Athletics—Men’s 50 km Walk
Boxing—Men’s Flyweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Mne’s Featherweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Men’s Light Welterweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Men’s Middleweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Men’s Heavyweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Men’s Super Heavyweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Women’s Flyweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Women’s Featherweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Women’s Light Welterweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Women’s Middleweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Women’s Heavyweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Women’s Super Heavyweight—Semifinals
Chess Boxing—Men’s—Semifinals
Chess Boxing—Women’s—Semifinals
Gymnastics—Men’s Rhythmic Individual—Qualification
Handball—Men’s—Semifinals
Table Tennis—Women’s Singles—Semifinals
Taekwondo—Men’s 80 kg—First Round
Taekwondo—Women’s 67 kg—First Round
Volleyball—Men’s Indoor—Semifinals
Water Polo—Men’s—Semifinals

2008–08–22 17:00
Association Football—Men’s—Bronze Medal Match
Athletics—Men’s 4×100 m Relay—Final
Athletics—Men’s 4×400 m Relay—Heats
Athletics—Men’s Pole Vault—Final
Athletics—Men’s Decathlon—Day 2
Athletics—Women’s 5000 m—Final
Athletics—Women’s 4×100 m Relay—Final
Athletics—Women’s 4×400 m Relay—Heats
Athletics—Women’s Long Jump—Final
Baseball—Men’s—Semifinals
Baseball—Women’s—Semifinals
Basketball—Men’s—Semifinals
Boxing—Men’s Light Flyweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Men’s Bantamweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Men’s Lightweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Men’s Welterweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Men’s Light Heavyweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Women’s Light Flyweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Women’s Bantamweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Women’s Lightweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Women’s Welterweight—Semifinals
Boxing—Women’s Light Heavyweight—Semifinals
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater C-1 1000 m—Final
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater C-2 1000 m—Final
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater K-1 1000 m—Final
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater K-2 1000 m—Final
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater K-4 1000 m—Final
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater C-1 1000 m—Final
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater C-2 1000 m—Final
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater K-1 1000 m—Final
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater K-2 1000 m—Final
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater K-4 500 m—Final
Cycling—Women’s Mountain Bike
Diving—Men’s 10 m Platform—Preliminaries
Field Hockey—Women’s—Finals
Gymnastics—Women’s Rhythmic Individual—Qualification
Gymnastics—Women’s Rhythmic Group—Qualification
Modern Pentathlon—Women’s
Synchronized Swimming—Men’s Team—Technical Routine
Synchronized Swimming—Women’s Team—Technical Routine
Table Tennis—Men’s Singles—Quarterfinals
Table Tennis—Women’s Singles—Finals
Taekwondo—Men’s 80 kg—Quarterfinals
Taekwondo—Men’s 80 kg—Semifinals
Taekwondo—Men’s 80 kg—Final
Taekwondo—Women’s 67 kg—Quarterfinals
Taekwondo—Women’s 67 kg—Semifinals
Taekwondo—Women’s 67 kg—Final
Volleyball—Men’s Beach—Finals

2008–08–23 05:00
Association Football—Men’s—Gold Medal Match
Diving—Men’s 10 m Platform—Semifinal
Gymnastics—Men’s Rhythmic Individual—Final
Handball—Women’s—Finals
Lacrosse—Finals
Table Tennis—Men’s Singles—Semifinals
Taekwondo—Men’s Over 80 kg—First Round
Taekwondo—Women’s Over 67 kg—First Round
Volleyball—Women’s Indoor—Finals

2008–08–23 17:00
Athletics—Men’s 800 m—Final
Athletics—Men’s 5000 m—Final
Athletics—Men’s 4×400 m Relay—Final
Athletics—Men’s Javelin Throw—Final
Athletics—Women’s 1500 m—Final
Athletics—Women’s 4×400 m Relay—Final
Athletics—Women’s High Jump—Final
Baseball—Men’s—Finals
Baseball—Women’s—Finals
Basketball—Women’s—Finals
Boxing—Men’s Flyweight—Final
Boxing—Men’s Featherweight—Final
Boxing—Men’s Light Welterweight—Final
Boxing—Men’s Middleweight—Final
Boxing—Men’s Heavyweight—Final
Boxing—Women’s Flyweight—Final
Boxing—Women’s Featherweight—Final
Boxing—Women’s Light Welterweight—Final
Boxing—Women’s Middleweight—Final
Boxing—Women’s Heavyweight—Final
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater C-1 500 m—Final
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater C-2 500 m—Final
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater K-1 500 m—Final
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater K-2 500 m—Final
Canoeing—Men’s Flatwater K-4 500 m—Final
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater C-1 500 m—Final
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater C-2 500 m—Final
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater K-1 500 m—Final
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater K-2 500 m—Final
Canoeing—Women’s Flatwater K-4 1000 m—Final
Chess Boxing—Men’s—Final
Chess Boxing—Women’s—Final
Cycling—Men’s Mountain Bike
Diving—Men’s 10 m Platform—Final
Field Hockey—Men’s—Finals
Gymnastics—Women’s Rhythmic Individual—Final
Synchronized Swimming—Men’s Team—Free Routine
Synchronized Swimming—Women’s Team—Free Routine
Table Tennis—Men’s Singles—Finals
Taekwondo—Men’s Over 80 kg—Quarterfinals
Taekwondo—Men’s Over 80 kg—Semifinals
Taekwondo—Men’s Over 80 kg—Final
Taekwondo—Women’s Over 67 kg—Quarterfinals
Taekwondo—Women’s Over 67 kg—Semifinals
Taekwondo—Women’s Over 67 kg—Final

2008–08–24 05:00
Athletics—Men’s Marathon
Basketball—Men’s—Finals
Boxing—Men’s Light Flyweight—Final
Boxing—Men’s Bantamweight—Final
Boxing—Men’s Lightweight—Final
Boxing—Men’s Welterweight—Final
Boxing—Men’s Light Heavyweight—Final
Boxing—Men’s Super Heavyweight—Final
Boxing—Women’s Light Flyweight—Final
Boxing—Women’s Bantamweight—Final
Boxing—Women’s Lightweight—Final
Boxing—Women’s Welterweight—Final
Boxing—Women’s Light Heavyweight—Final
Boxing—Women’s Super Heavyweight—Final
Gymnastics—Men’s Rhythmic Group
Gymnastics—Women’s Rhythmic Group—Final
Handball—Men’s—Finals
Summer Vigil Fasting
Volleyball—Men’s Indoor—Finals
Water Polo—Men’s—Finals

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Could Olympics be the start of the new era?

For now than two decades now, Sorthern Northland has been a part of world football. They may only have made a small dent, qualifying for the World Cup just one. On just one occasion has Sorthern Northland ever reached the final of a football competition, and even then it was the Oriental Cup. On a global sense it is a very minor competition. Currently Sorthern Northland lie in the 30's of the KPB ranking system, a position where they can be expected to challenge for qualification but not do much once they've qualified. So why then are football chiefs claiming that the Olympics will mark the start of a new era in Sorthern football?

To challenge for the medals is the goal for both the men's and the women's team. Certainly judging by the opening games they could both achieve that, but if the opening games told us anything, it was that it will be a long struggle. Indeed both teams got off to impressive start, the men's team got a 1-1 with the Ariddian Isles. The women meanwhile got off to an even better start, with a 1-0 victory over Gerainia. The Gerainians put in an impressive performance, and whilst the scoreline might not have been too impressive the performance was. In fact it was nearly as impressive as the flag. That flag is of course still being praised as highly by Candelaria And Marquez as it was when it was first revealed.

On it could be that, that is the hailing of a new era. No, not the flag, but the women's team. For the two decades that Sorthern Northland has competed in world football the team has always been an entirely men's one. This is in contrast to much of the rest of the world who have mixed national teams rather than single-sex teams. This Sorthern women's team may have only played once but in that game they showed they are just as talented as the men. Whilst there have never been any calls for women to be included in the national team, but does the women want it? Certainly the women competing here at the Olympics seem happy to remain as a women's team and not be merged into a mixed team. For them competing as a women's team is not a sign of sexual inequality but in fact the opposite. So then the "new era of football" will probably not be a mixed team like much of the rest of the world.

In fact in all likelihood this will not be the start of a new era for Sorthern football, but does it really matter? After all football here is progressing at a steady rate anyway.

Valanora Times
Boil, Mix, Then Stir

It certainly is a bit of a hodgepodge sort of group that Asar choose to call up for these Olympic Games. You have everything from youngsters just coming off a Di Bradini win, reserves in the Premiership, and then national team starters for crying out loud. Granted that most of these players have had their oppurtunities to go out there and prove themselves when they needed to, but I'm not sure it is wise to use such a diverse group if we are seriously going to challange for a medal. That being said, all things seemed to work out very well yesterday as they opened up in the preliminaries with a comfortable three to nil victory over East Ying.

The sensational Ricardinho was the dominating force early in the match, constantly creating oppurtunities for Underwind and Oropher to bang in. Underwind finally notched one in the twenty-second on a clever low cross that confused his marker enough to allow him the yard of space needed to nudge it in. Ricardinho would double the scoreline in the 44th however, as he took a marvelous free kick from twenty-four yards out that bent around the wall and beyond the reach of the nervous keeper.

Two goals to the good at the half, Asar brought in Fresco for Oropher to really put the pressure on the awe-struck Ying defence. It would pay dividends in the sixtith minute when Nelson Kries would put him in on a throuh ball, and the Petardos man danced his away aruond the keeper and blasted it in for the third and final talley of the match. To his credit, Asar looks to have assembled a very comfortable back three, as they were hardly tested throughout the match. The story is Ricardinho though, as he continues his run of brilliance that started in the DBC knockouts. If the lad can produce anything like this for his club side in the upcoming seasons, va Drake might have a battle on his hands for the starting spot on the full side.

Article by Yafarin Nidolias

As the sun set in the Paripana sky, billions of eyes across the multiverse were fixed upon the imposing silhouette of Holmes Stadium, its twin canopies the defining feature of the Columbia cityscape. Having failed in its bids to bring the Baptism of Fire and World Cup back to the Unified Capitalizt States, the Megabid Committee looked to the Games of the III Olympiad to be the ‘big’ event that would spur development in the city. In many ways, the hard work had already been done—reports have claimed that over thirteen thousand athletes—surpassing even the greatest sporting spectacles of the twenty-first century AD—have arrived from the forty-eight National Olympic Committees—finally eclipsing the first modern Games at Aeropag—and would soon assemble in the largest-ever Olympic stadium, the nearly four hundred thousand seat behemoth that holds a special place in the hearts of football fans from Cafundéu to Liventia.

Those athletes would be welcomed by the greatest opening ceremony of the modern era, a three-hour exposition of Capitalizt history, culture, and technology. Despite Paripana’s relatively short period of habitation—less than two or four hundred years, depending on your choice of calendar—the producers still managed to fill a half hour exploring the main themes of its history in artistic form, the overarching motif being the constant search for the “golden mean” of peace, and the conflicts caused by it. This performance was closely followed by a celebration of the archipelago’s diversity, in which some remarkable scripting allowed traditional Karacosian dance to flow smoothly into archetypal Manhattanite sweeping orchestral themes, and into Lontorikan opera, et cetera, to form a coherent production. Sophisticated lighting, holography, and other effects accentuated this section.

The parade of nations would follow, with the forty-six visiting NOCs entering the stadium in Noterelenda alphabetical order, from Adijan to Zuänzug, followed by the two flagless host delegeations from Estede’das Kapitalízmires in Unídires. Famous footballer Migelo Luiso, who scored four goals at the stadium in the final of World Cup 39, would then take the athletes’ oath. After some old dudes made some shockingly empty speeches, the chairman of COLOCOG, Norma Kennedy, declared the Games open—though of course the ceremony was not finished; it’d just be rather anticlimactic to say that at the end.

The Olympic flag was raised in the stadium as the obligatory Olympic Hymn played; the choice of a Greek song when the first modern Olympics was held in English- and Noterelenda-speaking Jativa never made any sense, though the NSOC tried to justify it as a connection to the ancient Games—no, not those; the really ancient Games. With the flag-raising complete, only one item was left on the agenda.

Querzakhi marathon winner 함손립 (Ham Son-lib), now much older, ran the torch into the stadium, as another ancient Olympic theme, Summon the Heroes, was played by the orchestra. He ran a lap around the stadium, lighting the emblem of each of the five previous Games in fire—though the symbol of Revena would extinguish itself prematurely—as the most memorable moments from each Olympiad were projected onto the stage floor. As he finished the lap, he lit the emblem of the Columbia Games, which then seemed to float to the center of the stadium using a cable system and set a large representation of the Olympic star ablaze, symbolizing the new life that these Games promised to bring to the Olympic movement. The Olympic star was connected to a fuse; as the music reached its climax, the fuse fired a cannon, the symbol of the UCS. In a subtle, yet incredible, feat of engineering, the surface of the cannonball ignited from atmospheric friction just after reaching the apex of its flight, and the flaming ball fell into and lit the cauldron at the open north end of the stadium. The final notes of music were punctuated by a large fireworks display, ending the ceremony.

(ooc- argh, I assumed fencing entries would be automatically placed in the team events. One of these days I'll grasp the concepts of reading comprehension.)

I had all your entries, I just forgot to put you on the list. I’ll fix it shortly.

Thanks!

AND WE’RE OFF AND RUNNING

The opening ceremonies in Columbia have concluded and they were truly something to remember. Whenever a camera focused in on an athlete during the parade, they made sure they kept every sponsor logo in view. Forty eight nations paraded along with their flags flying proudly admist constant commercial interruption to remind you how much you need a new car or a new mortgage right this very instant. In several of these advertisements, we got our best views of Secristan’s athletes as they proudly sold the product that they were paid to tell you that like. Whether they actually do or not, we’ll never know. Surprisingly, the organizers from the Capitalizt States opted to make the ceremony about honoring the past, the tradition, and what is supposedly the true meaning of the Olympics, instead of marketing products. It completely shocked us watching when the cannon fired, that it did not have any kind of sponsorship decal on it. Hard to believe that such an outstanding opportunity like that could be passed up, but it was.

Even though it took this ceremony to declare the games open, the games actually had already started. Both men and women’s “association football”, otherwise known as soccer, kicked off a day prior to the opening ceremonies. The Millionaires actually had a shocking showing on the men’s side, defeating Kelssek by the score of 4-0. Let’s see, that was a Kelssek team that made the World Cup against a Secristan team that has never even attempted to qualify for one. Pretty impressive, ‘eh? The women drew with Wentland at one goal a piece. This may be the start of some glorious moments for us on the pitch, as they call it. Though don’t get excited about a World Cup Qualifying effort one day just yet. The Secristan Department of Sports still isn’t that fond of that idea. Maybe a medal could change their mind. The one thing that annoyed advertisers was that they had to honor the tradition of not breaking up a soccer game for commercial advertisement.

Tomorrow, several events will kick off the competition. So far, the events receiving the most orders for Secristan pay-per-view telecast that take place tomorrow in the early session, are in order: Lacrosse, American Football, Women’s Indoor Volleyball, Women’s Handball, and Shooting. Goes to show how much our citizens know about the Olympics when two demonstration sports are leading the way, but there they are. In the late session, swimming absolutely dominated the pay-per-view purchases as it is an event where we expect to do pretty well. That’s all for now, enjoy the games if you are able to afford to purchase them.

A Team and A Dream. The story of the Taeshan Olympic Team

Thats right its finally here the sport by sport(were available) breakdown of the Taeshani team, and who will face who were, and when.

American Football

The Fitin' Falcons mens team will be taking on the likes o Secristan(again), West Pocono, and the Womens team from Bear Arms. It looks to be an easy group for the expierenced Fitin' Falcons, but expect some resistance from the young and good Secristani team. They will excpect to compete with us as will probally the two newcomers.

Mens Badmiton

For the first round parings it seems that Smithy Forrester will have the opening match off While Alan Joker will face Matt Frog of Calendaria, and Aaron Green will face Michael Boldrewood off Kura-Pelland in Mens singles. In womens Stagy Gulls will take on Han San Myun of Jaseun, while Nicole Reilly will take on Anne-Mari Lekourse of Bluth Corporation, and Axly Fregortseb will take on Ciara Mckauley of Kura Pelland.

Mens Baseball
The Dream Team

In Mens Baseball the Knights will rely on the arms of the pitching staff led by the team captain Anthony Rielas. There group includes Cafundeu, Kura Pelland, Kanjii Starter, and Baranxtu Cikoutimi and Otea. This is obviously the easiest grouping for the Knights ever in a baseball tournament as the Knights should look to do great in a sport were they are great.

Mens Basketball

Yes basketball is the favorite sport of Taeshan even though its not such a famous thing everywhere else, few teams have entered this part of the tournament, and that gave Taeshan a hard group including Kelssek, West Pocono, Newmanistan, and Asteran. The Knights will have a hard time defeating teams in this sport, but should look to get past the group stages.

Mens Handball

The Mens handball competition has few teams also so you cna bet that they are the elite teams. The Knigths will have a pretty tough competition against teams like Bluth Corporation, Landau Insitute, Secristan, Qazox, and Kelssek it will be competititive.

Lacrosse

Taeshan was one of the starters of the World Lacrosse Championships, and should be able to compete in Lacrosse at the olympics. The sport is a demonstration sport, but that doesnt meen the rest of the group Arridias women, Bears arms women, Secristan, Newmanistan, and Jaseun won't compete. In fact half the group us, Secristan, and Newmanistan are 3 of the top for in the world.

Table Tennis

Table tennis is one of the many competitive sports in Taeshan and they have sent 3 to UCS. In the first round Tre Kool, Fiertas Dean, and Yung Lee will all have byes. Cool at least we can say we made it forward. In womens Lueta Huter, Devas Liecheng, and Ada Hutch will also have byes.

Volleyball

First is mens beach were Joey Ghengis and Cilis Werington are placed in group c with Ciprani/Henry from Newmanistan, Kingston/Grogan from Secristan, and Slaven/clayborne from UBT. In group F you find Mike Phish and Tyson Bradshaw place against Rheeder/Wulf from Krytenia, Some dudes from NSA(cant say wont spell em), and Lov/Thomton from Kenavt. In mens indoor the Knights face Kura-Pelland Arridia, the Fujisiwan Territories, and West Pocono. In Womens Beach Krist Trainer and Zizi Keller are in group A with Dolgashava/Gay from ALL, Federkeil/Barhert from Blu, and Hodges/Richardson from COM. Ashlen Fredy and Fiona Smith in group B will take on Marksbury/Robillard from UBT, Decams/Nayalaya from BCO, and Ilhnaus/Porteus from MAI. Finally in Womens indoor the Purple Knights take on Capitalizt Slani, Jaseun, Bluth Corporation, Gerania, and Newmanistan.

Water Polo

Another of the great Knight sports, the Knights will again have to take on the likes of Qazox, Baranxtu Cikoutimi and Otea, Ad'han, Cafundeu, and Kosovoe. The games are mostly rivalries with the big one against foes Qazox, and puppets Kososove.

From MSPN--

The III Summer Olympics began today in Columbia, UCS with the Opening Ceremonies, with athletes from nearly four dozen nations from across the multiverse in attendance. The torch has been lit, and an array of entertainment from the playing of the ancient Olympic Hymn to speeches by Olympic Committee personnel to the raising of the Olympic flag followed as the host nation welcomed all participants. Our athletes are making last minute preparations, in anticipation of a full shcedule of events to begin tomorrow. Stick with MSPN for full coverage of daily events and medal ceremonies, as well as athlete interviews.

OOC: Possible mistake in the indoor volleyball schedules? The fixtures list seems designed for four teams, but the groups have five (except Women's A, which has six), and there are five matchdays listed.

THE MONASTIC TIMES
OLYMPIC SPECIAL EDITION

GAMES BEGIN
Embarrassing Gaffe Outrages Archregimancy Spokesman

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

The Games of the Third Olympiad began today in the heathen UCS as thousands of athletes, very few of them Orthodox, paraded around a large stadium, and a few elderly heretics made speeches hardly worth noting due to their Godless content.

Monastic Olympic Committee spokesman Fr. Vasily the Heavily Accented later objected to a gaffe that saw the Archregimancy enter the stadium towards the end of the parade under 'the' rather than towards the beginning of the parade under 'Archregimancy'.

"Is Outrage!" said Fr. Vasily at a post-ceremony press conference. "Is clear sign of Anti-Orthodox Conspiracy! Is clear sign that organisers is in league with the freemasonry. Is also clear that ceremony should be run again tomorrow with nations in correct alphabetical order, with Orthodox near front as is right. And look at Olympic schedule. Is almost no event with Orthodox athlete for first week. Is also sign of anti-Orthodox bias. Is also outrage!"

Exasperated officials from the UCS refused to comment on Fr. Vasily's remarks, but sources close to the MOC distanced themselves from their controversial spokesman, stating that "if he wasn't so inexplicably popular in Arridia and Maineiacs, he probably wouldn't be here."

Elsewhere, Summer Vigil Fasting Competitor Fr. Emilian the Emaciated - one of the few Archregimancy competitors in action these first few days - was preparing to enter his fasting cell tomorrow with a last meal of dates and water. 'We expect nothing short of gold given the non-Orthodox nature of his competitors' said a senior archimandrite, speaking on condition of anonymity.

Copies of the Official Archregimancy Monastic Olympic Calendar were meanwhile, perhaps suprisingly, said to be 'selling like mushrooms during Great Lent' with Catholic athletes after a heretical Papist nun declared Fr. John the Far-Runner to be 'most pleasing to the eye, though in a totally non-lustful and appropriately holy way'.

In response to various requests from nearly one other participating nation, the Wentland medallists who shall be defending their crowns, or seeking to improve their colour, are as follows:

GOLD
Leonora Pennyworth (cycling: women's road time trial)
King Æþelwold II (dressage)
Gerard d'Urville, Phil Gould, Duncan Short (fencing: men's team foil)
Janelle Reyes (cycling: women's point race)
Annabeth Thomas (cycling: women's keirin)
Amalgam (decathlon)
Angie Cook (canoeing: women's flatwater C1 500m)
Angie Cook, Nanette Ook (canoeing: women's flatwater C2 500m and 1000m) (with new team-mates, women's flatwater K4 1000m)
Lolita Davies (wrestling: women's freestyle 48kg)
Kathy Gregan (wrestling: women's freestyle 55kg)
Sonya Maiden (wrestling: women's freestyle 63kg)
Beth Ditto (wrestling: women's Greco-Roman 72kg)
Evie Regan (wrestling: women's Greco-Roman 48kg)
Penny Grainger (wrestling: women's Greco-Roman 55kg)
Amelia Price (wrestling: women's Greco-Roman 63kg)
Dean Delamere (wrestling: men's freestyle 55kg)
Gwynn Jones (wrestling: men's freestyle 60kg)
Michael McManus (wrestling: men's freestyle 66kg)
Robin Brooks (wrestling: men's freestyle 84kg)
Wild Angus Campbell (wrestling: men's freestyle 120kg)
Eric Taylor (wrestling: men's Greco-Roman 60kg)
Vic Faulkner (wrestling: men's Greco-Roman 74kg)
Tony Sinclair (wrestling: men's Greco-Roman 84kg)
CJ Mowersby (wrestling: men's Greco-Roman 120kg)

SILVER
King Æþelwold II, Princess Ælfwynn, Queen Rose, Prince Cynewulf (team dressage)
Cedric de Keyser (show jumping)
Rosaria Holmes (canoeing: women's slalom K1)
Inez Vogel (canoeing: women's slalom C1)
Kate Lonergan (archery)
Andre Martin, Gerard Wesley, Tony Hearn (fencing: men's team epee)
Mike Shepard (swimming: men's 10,000m)
Steve Logan (wrestling: men's freestyle 74kg)
Aiki Hiroshima (wrestling: men's freestyle 96kg)
Albert Wall (wrestling: men's Greco-Roman 55kg)
Mark Rocco (wrestling: men's Greco-Roman 66kg)
Stan Drews (wrestling: men's Greco-Roman 96kg)

BRONZE
Siobhan Fogarty, Kate Lonergan, Kellie Bright (team archery)
Bennett Gordon (show jumping)
Martina Henzies (tennis)
Caleb Donnelly, Ferdinand Nguyen (canoeing: men's flatwater C2 500m)
Nanette Ook (canoeing: women's flatwater C1 1000m)

A1

POIUYTREWQ POST
Your Excellence in Journalism!

III Olympiad Opening Ceremonies

"We look forward to these Games," KOC chief comments

OOC: More to come :( Time restraints.

OOC: Possible mistake in the indoor volleyball schedules? The fixtures list seems designed for four teams, but the groups have five (except Women's A, which has six), and there are five matchdays listed.
I got the fixtures for indoor (5–6 team groups) and beach volleyball (3–4 team groups) swapped; it’s fixed now.

Hoji Metropolitan Daily Record
FIRST DAY PREVIEW
by Yoko Kikugawa, staff writer

Columbia, UCS- The first day of major events at the III Olympiad will be busy for the Territories, with the highlight being in the pool with star collegiate swimmer Jozenna Nai, of the University of Hoji.

Nai will be competing in the Women’s 400m Freestyle heats, Women’s 400m Individual Medley Heats, and finally, the Women’s 4x100m Freestyle Relay heats to round out the day. Nai is expected to do well in the heats for the 400m Freestyle and 400m Individual Medley. Nai’s intra island rival from the University of Iwosaka, Chatchaha Azumaro will be competing in the heats for the Women’s 100m Butterfly. Elsewhere, Teiko Maka will compete in the heats for the 100m Butterfly, and Kuri Sayamak in the 400m Individual Medley.

The lone Fujisawan on the men’s side of the pool expected to keep it competitive on the first day of swimming is Dhini Azaki. But even he is considered a longshot in the long run. Also hitting the pool among the Fujisawan men on day one are Mayoko Himi in the 400m Freestyle and 100m Breaststroke heats, Gongori Shike in the 100m Breaststroke heat, and Kyuke Chizuma in the 400m Individual Medly heat.

Fujisawans will be keeping a close eye on Unified Beretania swimmer Sarasvati Channarayapatra, who is also expected to perform well in her events. Nai and Channaraypatra are both in the heats for the Women’s 400m Freestyle. The sporting rivalry between the Fujisawan Territories and Unified Beretania has heated up ever since Unified Beretania became a protectorate of the Fujiswan Territories, and the enthusiasm is the highest in the Women’s 400m Freestlye.

Earlier in the day, women’s badminton will be contested, but Sohoko Raikatuji will have a first round bye.

In judo, Tadasu Kikawa will have a bye in the first round of the Men’s 60kg, while Sui Kido will have a bye in the first round of the Women’s 48kg. Those two events will round through the finals on the first day.

In women’s weightlifting, Taji Nitta will compete in the 48kg.

Women’s water polo and volleyball will also be contested on the first day. The Fujisawans aren’t expected to do much in water polo or indoor volleyball, and the expectations among fans are quite low. There is a scheduled play in for women’s beach volleyball between Fundip Czoc/Cze’z Draqu of Gerainia and Tina Hart/Nadia Yezhova of Coocoostan. The winner of that match will join group G.

Men’s and women’s archery ranking rounds will feature Jusan Gondasa, Hakinob June, and Chiiemi Maro on the men’s side, and China Miyakus, Lo Xiao Xing, and Amih Sawaoyot IV on the women’s.

The Territories’ women’s association football will have it’s second match of the Olympics, and the women’s basketball team will have it’s first.

All in all, the first day of major competition for the Fujisawan Territories should produce mixed results, but Nai and Azumaro performing well could even out any disappointments of the day.

Albavona Capitol Sentinel
A Look at Day One
by Lynn Saveignett, ACS staff writer

Columbia, UCS- Competition is set to begin for Unified Beretania athletes, and like many countries will look to the pool with high hopes early on. Fan favorite Sarasvati Channarayapatra will compete in five events throughout these Olympics, and will participate in the heats for the Women’s 400m Freestyle and 4x100m Freestyle Relay on the opening day of swimming.

Channarayapatra will be joined in the pool by Aimee Holland in the 400m Freestyle heats, and the 4x100m Freestyle Relay team will be rounded out by Christine Shipp, Genevieve Dawson, and Crystal Milton. Wanda Trimble and Johanna Juarez compete in the 100m Butterfly heats, but aren’t expected to advance, and Carissa Best and Jennifer Wing are in the 400m Individual Medley heats.

The men’s side of the pool has no real potential for advancement, and Jefferey Paige in the Men’s 400m Freetstyle heats represent’s Beretania’s best chance in men’s swimming on the first day.

In women’s badminton, LaKeisha Gray-Buchanan enjoys a first round bye, while Jonie Bruce faces Roxy Ovenicheva of Krytenia and Leona Crutcher takes on Jeanette Masonne of Baranxtu, Cikoutimi, and Otea.

Rey Brits is scheduled to participate in a qualifying round for the Men’s 10m Air Pistol event, the women’s basketball team will see action, and gymnastics qualifying begins on the men’s side.

In archery, Cameron Moore, Zackary Brown, and Julio Filippi compete in the men’s ranking round, while on the women’s side, Lo Jiang Li, Christa Chang, and Jamie Na compete.

An interesting side note in women’s archery is the fact that Lo Jiang Li of Unified Beretania and Lo Xiao Xing of the Fujisawan Territories are sisters. Xiao Xing was adopted by the Fujisawan royal family (purely ceremonial in modern times), and Jiang Li immigrated to Unified Beretania at the age of eighteen. The sibling rivalry between the Lo sisters that spans two nations is a story many Fujisawans and Beretanians will be following closely. Both are considered to have a decent chance in the individual side of competition.

It’s shaping up to be a mellow opening, but Beretanians are hoping the prospects of Sarasvati Channrayapatra, Leona Crutcher, and Jonie Bruce pan out.

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Athletes amass during Opening Ceremonies in Columbia. You can spot the Kennyite contingent if you squint your eyes and focus on the top right portion ... at least I think you can ... no, no, sorry, I lost them. No, wait, wait, I think that's them near the middle ... see, in the blue? ... Or is that them in the top left corner? Ugh, it's like a 'Where's Waldo?' book!

Kennyites flake on opening ceremonies
NOC officials launch citywide manhunt for missing athletes, give up after five minutes

COLUMBIA, Commerce Heights --- The Kennyites were a no-show for the Olympic Opening Ceremonies Friday, but no one was expecting much from them to start with, so few were disappointed.

President Manuelo Fernanda, who had planned on heading a Kennyite delegation to the ceremonies, made an unexpected stop in nearby Bazalonia, Frowning Street officials claiming he had "a real craving for some BazaBurger (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=537288)," which is a codeword, reporters assumed, for hookers, which is probably a codeword for blow (or something), which is probably a codeword for something even worse. At any rate, he couldn't make it.

Also missing was boxer Susa Batko-Yovino, who was slated to carry his nation's flag in the ceremonies, but was delayed because (and we have no idea why!) his name was on the no-fly list of whatever country it is that hosts the World Assembly, to which Batko-Yovino serves as ambassador. Instead, witnesses say, the Santa Califia lightweight was spotted drinking it up at the WA Strangers' Bar that night.

He is expected to be in Columbia in time for the lightweight boxing competition to start on Monday. Few besides the boastful Batko-Yovino himself have confidence he'll score a medal, however -- National Security Adviser Cdr. Jenny Chiang told news outlets that she only signed him up so she could tune in the Olympics to watch the Xt'Tap native "get his face bashed in every other night."

As for the other three athletes who signed up to compete on the Federal Republic's behalf -- who knows what happened to them? Maybe they went to a pub and got abducted by aliens or something? At any rate, who cares? They don't really matter much anyway.

National Olympic Committee officials were forced to pay off a few tourists on the street to dress up as Kennyites and enter the stadium during the Parade of Nations, where they were reportedly instructed to be as "rude, crude and socially unacceptable" as possible: "swear up a storm, and it wouldn't hurt if you shot a few spitballs in the Ariddians' direction -- and if you don't trip at least on Kelssekan, people will get suspicious."

The "athletes" apparently did as they were told, but some were a little curious as to why the purported "Kennyites" spoke in thick Yeldan accents.

Audience members yawned as the Kennyite team made its entrance -- virtually no one outside the World Assembly has heard of the Federal Republic, and among the few that have, the nation doesn't exactly enjoy a stellar reputation. Some in the audience snickered, a few jeered, and a small cadre of Kennyite fans cheered wildly while waving the Kennyite flag and kicking the seats of those in front of them.

"It is good to be here for the Kennyite peoples in Olympic Games," said "Pete Wence," the lone member of the Federal Republic's diving squad, in a suspicious accent. "Oh my God! They killed Kenny! You bastards! Just like in American cartoon! Haha! Bitches and hos! Bitches and hos!"

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Susa Batko-Yovino shows off a silver medal he stole off another athlete
in the 2006 games. He will come home with a real medal this year, he vows,
"or some unlucky infidel's gonna be blown the fuck up!"

08–09 A results (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13907770&postcount=2) are up.

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ATHLETE PROFILES
Diving for gold

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In Outineau again, and this time it's warm and sunny on rue Saint-Denis. As we head into a coffee joint opposite the headquarters of the National Film Board, we find Pierre Desjarlais just setting down his cappucino.

A year ago in Querzakhi, Pierre Desjarlais suffered not just one, but two jolting disappointments as he was pipped for the gold medal twice in the 3m springboard and the 10m platform events.

"I did my dive and I was very happy, I thought it had all gone excellent and that I'd had the gold medal won. But one of my main rivals had still not done his final dive and I held my breath as the scores came up... and he'd beaten me. So I thought, well, the 10 metre is my main event, lightning can't strike twice, and, well, everyone knows what happened."

It was quite a blow, says Desjarlais.

"I was in a real funk for a couple of weeks, when I got back. It was terrible because I thought I'd had the gold won. But I decided to just throw myself back into training and let it go. It's no failure to win an Olympic silver medal, to be the second-best in the world, but I don't plan on being second-best again."

As movie trailers like to assert, this time it's personal.

"I've got something to prove to myself, now. I'm going to beat this disappointment and this time I'm taking two golds home with me." he says with steel in his voice.

A national diving champion at the age of 14, Desjarlais's Olympic dream started earlier than most. And now that he's on this stage, he's going all out to make his golden dream come true.

OOC: I'm on holiday for a week. I'll still be keeping an eye on the games, but i won't be posting. So don't think I've left y'all. :p

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LAURA ASHTON - JUDO

The dream is alive! I'm through to the quarter finals.

The opening ceremony was great last night. We didn't really get to see as much as the spectators did, but there were TVs in the waiting area so we were able to see the razzle dazzle and the fireworks. Not too shabby at all, in fact, quite well done. What about the UCS, eh? They do a hell of a job hosting Olympics and credit to them for keeping these Olympics, easily the most fantastic event on the sporting calendar, alive. And they don't try to push other countries around or convert them.

Ah yes, politics. Some very drunk guy two nights ago saw our T-shirts which have "Kelssek Judo" in big letters over the back and tried to start a fight (that's why I say he was drunk), yelling "Commies! Stinking Commies!". The locals were great, though, they tossed the guy out of the bar and one of them bought us a drink by way of apology. I think someone said he was a Kennyite, but no one really knows.

Win or lose, my Olympics ends tomorrow. But the fun doesn't stop because I'm here for the whole thing - all of us are. Hopefully there'll be some great stories to share with all of you, but for now, goodbye.

OLYMPIC ROCKET REPORT

EARLY DAY 1 RECAP

After an exciting opening ceremony in which the Unified Capitalizt States likely poured a whole lot of money into to provide all of us with outstanding entertainment, the games of the third Olympiad were declared open by COLOCOG’s Norma Kennedy, with marathon winner Ham Son-lib having the honor of carrying the torch into the stadium, lighting the emblems of past Olympiads. Now, we are under way and the question will be asked of what nation will walk out of here with the most medals, and perhaps most importantly, who will realize their Olympic dreams. There are sure to be some memorable moments here in Columbia, and we’ll do our best to try to see it live as it unfolds. Some events have gotten under way, so let’s take a quick look at them.

We’ll start with team sports, and start with the demonstration events that began; American Football and Lacrosse. Both are events in which Newmanistan expects to have a lot of success in, especially lacrosse after having won the World Lacrosse Championships. However, the lacrosse team was not placed in an easy group by any means as sitting there in group B are both Secristan and Taeshan. Three of the four semifinalists in the WLC in the same qualifying group! Somewhere, they’re laughing in Land de Wood. Well, if they wanted excitement, they will certainly get it in the group stage! Our Rockets won their game against some chicks from Ariddia by the score of 10-6. Newmanistan led at the half, 7-2, and appeared to put it on cruise control for the rest of the way knowing they have far more challenging games in the group. In football, the American way, the Rockets were victorious over Allanea by the score of 42-26. Newmanistan scored three touchdowns in the first quarter to get an early lead, and much like the lacrosse team, never really got tested to where you felt the outcome was in jeopardy. Allanea played better as the game went on, but falling into the hole that they did was too much for them to overcome. It is a three team group, and if World Bowl II is any indication, then the Rockets should be able to get by kenavt alright. Though you never, ever, know as this is a completely different playing field.

Now for the team sports that are medal events. Newmanistan’s Handball, Women’s Indoor Volleyball, and Women’s Water Polo all got underway, and our teams were victorious in all of them. The most impressive victory was in volleyball, in which the ladies swept away Taeshan in straight sets, 25-13, 25-11, and 25-17. The one sided affair will set off a lot of confidence in Group A, which also saw the hosts get themselves involved quite an entertaining affair. Capitalizt SLANI seemed to cruise in the first two sets against Gerainia, but Gerainia dug down and rallied to win in five. With that both look to be a good opponent for us when the time comes. The Water Polo team took on the hosts in Group C, and after falling behind early, 3-0, score nine unanswered goals to take the home fans out of the game with a 9-3 advantage. After that goal rush, they traded scores en route to 13-8 victory for Newmanistan. In handball, the Rockets destroyed Kura-Pelland 33-20 in a game that was never closed. Newmanistan scored the first seven goals of the contest as the gap between the level of play between the nations really seemed to show up. After leading 18-7 at the break, the Rockets would go up by as many as 26-11, before giving all their backups playing time, and even they played Kura-Pelland even for the most part.

Many individual events also kicked off the competition, and two events had medals awarded already. Newmanistan did not figure in any such medals, though Cassie Ross finished 4th overall in Women’s 10m Air Rifle. The top four finishers all topped the former Olympic Record of 498.3 for the event. “I was happy with my performance, I felt that I did the best I could.” Ross stated, surprisingly upbeat after missing a bronze by just 0.1, but that’s what the Olympics are all about. The other medal event was one in which Newmanistan did not send a participant.


Now, for a quick swing across the other individual events in preliminary stages! In the first round of women’s singles in badminton, Melinda Oliviera and Susan Carpenter had byes while Cafundeu’s Helosia Bastos completely dominated Janelle Rogers, 21-4, 21-7. “Wow!” was all Rogers could say about her opponent and predicted her to win a gold. The doubles pair of Barbara Littleton and Debbie Gomez were similarly destroyed by a Krytenian duo while Oliviera and Kenzie Dudley had a bye....... In fencing, the Women’s Individual Sabre began, and while Amy Repsher had to withdraw due to a horrible stomach virus, Jennifer Bupree and Emily Stoddard each had a run that made it to the third round before both were defeated by Bluth Corporation opponents, though both should be very happy with their performance........ In Judo, another event where we don’t expect to have much success, Todd Benfield was defeated in the 2nd round of the Men’s 60Kg, while Lauren Piccolo lost in the 1st round of the Women’s 48Kg...... In Shooting, and the Men’s 10m Air Pistol, Newmanistan is off to a great start with two athletes on top of the leaderboard. Nick Parsons and Tom Henderson tied for first in qualifying with a score of 583, though the rest of the field is not that far behind. “Tom and I both felt good going into the event, and felt that we both were able to maintain our composure and focus. Hopefully we can both carry this into the final.”

And so ends your early Day 1 report from Columbia. Keep on watching for the late results!


NOTE: CH, Amy Repsher did not seem to be included in the Women's Individual Sabre, unless I simply couldn't locate her. No biggie, but perhaps double check that you have her in the other events.

OLYMPIC REPORT

It was such an honor for our athletes to walk around with the best in the opening ceremony for the third Olympiad in Columbia. Of the experience, especially in carrying the flag, Courtney Petersen commented, “It was a symbol that we arrived. We came out much near the end, after most of the big powers had already had their moment, but it was really cool to be there with everyone, to have people still cheering for us, especially in a regional powerhouse like the Capitalizt States. I don’t know how many medals we’ll win, or if we’ll win any medals at all, but it won’t change how excited we are to be here.”

Some events started tonight, with West Pocono scoring a thrilling 25-24 win over Taeshan, continuing Taeshan’s recent disappointment’s on the gridiron. When West Pocono scored a touchdown with no time left they appeared to be setting up for the extra point to tie up the game when suddenly holder Ken Harris, also the backup QB, took the snap and dropped back to pass, a wide open Matt Wilson, a backup TE, was there, and the stunning 2-point conversion led West Pocono to the win. When asked why they did this, the West Pocono coach made the sly response of, “Why not? We have nothing to lose in Columbia.” In Lacrosse, a stunning defensive effort held Cafundeu to just three goals in a 9-3 win. Either that, or Cafundeu has some work to do. The Handball team rallied from a late 23-20 deficit to comeback and defeat Maineiacs, 26-24. The Women’s Indoor Volleyball team took care of Secristan in three sets, 25-20, 25-17, 25-11.


In the individual sports, Patty Barnard has advanced to the quarterfinal of the Women’s Individual Sabre in fencing! It was the lone individual highlight as the other West Pocono athletes that were competing lost out in early stages of their respective events. All in all, not a bad day for our country.

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OLYMPIC REPORT PODCAST - AUGUST 9, 2008

http://media.switchpod.com//users/kelssek/olympicreport20080809.mp3


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Keep track of who's winning what with the medal tally on KBC Online's special Olympic site (http://kelssek.tripod.com/kbc/columbia08/index.html)

From MSPN--

Good morning, and welcome to our first Olympic update. Let's take a look at the early action:

Football:

Our team lost 28-14 to Kura-Pelland. QB Shane Murphy threw for 156 yards and a touchdown, but also had three interceptions, two of which resulted in touchdowns for Kura-Pelland.

Badminton:

Sukon Bhumanipam lost in straight sets to Doctor Jennifer Hippo of Estresse Intenso 21-11 21-15, Pakpao Adulyadej beat her first round opponent, Secristan's Carrie Rudnitzki in three sets 21-13 13-21 21-10. The two Women beat Pearce Pedotti and Holly Richards of Canalaria and Marquez 21-12 21-15 in the first round of the Women's Doubles Competition.

Fencing:

In Women's Sabre, Renate Immacolata beat Anne-Cecile Pouhon of Wentland 15-5 in her first round match, while teammates Karesinda Aminda and Juliana Vitoria received byes. In the second round, Aminda beat Keiko Lion of Allanea 13-5 and Vitoria beat Marra o Borrovsty of Bears Armed 15-12 but Immacolata lost to Jennifer Bupree of Newmanistan 15-12. Then in the third round of today's competition, both Aminda and Vitoria lost. Aminda fell to Kitsy Tog of Allanea 15-10 while Vitoria was eliminated by Ruberta of Han-Ttsau from Roumberre 15-3.

Handball:

Our Women's team lost a close game to West Pocono 26-24.

Judo:

Junichiro Matsudo won his first round match in the Men's 60kg class against Keith Mulder of Asteran, then defeated Todd Benfield of Newmanistan in the second round to advance to the quarterfinals. Sayuri Kaede received a bye in the first round of the Women's 48kg class, the moved on to the quarterfinals by beating Karleen Call of Xalostia.

Lacrosse:

Both our Men's and Women's teams lost. Our Men lost to Allanea 9-5, our Women lost to the Men's team from Bears Armed 8-6.

Shooting:

Mike Garvey failed to qualify in Men's 10m Air Pistol; Yvonne Craig qulified in Women's 10m Air Rifle and finished 8th in the finals.

Volleyball:

Our Wome's team lost to Cafundéu in four sets 19-25 25-21 18-25 21-25.

Water Polo:

Our Women's team lost to Roumberre 7-6.

Weightlifting:

In the Women's 48kg class, Secil Polmanglu won our first medal of these Olympics, winning the bronze.

NOTE: CH, Amy Repsher did not seem to be included in the Women's Individual Sabre, unless I simply couldn't locate her. No biggie, but perhaps double check that you have her in the other events.
She was mistakenly excluded from all three individual fencing events, but has now been added to the épée and foil events.

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AEROPAG, JI · 2152–08–09 · 0.10 g Au

Columbia: Games off to promising start for host teams
COLUMBIA, BD—The cöorganizers of the Games of the III Olympiad began their medal campaigns on a positive note today, with both the gold and silver in the first medal event, the women’s 10 m air rifle shooting, going to Mattea Osérina of Jasīʼyūn and 이리중 (ʼI Li-juŋ) of SLANI, respectively. In one of the strongest and most closely contested final rounds in the event’s history, Osérina would be the one to come away with the Olympic records for both the final and overall scores, despite falling four points short of Lori Simpson’s perfect round in qualifying set at Querzakhi. Jasīʼyūn added to its medal tally with Migela Gonzala’s joint bronze (with Seçil Polmanğlu of Maineiacs) in the women’s 48 kg weightlifting, failing to equal SLANI’s gold in Querzakhi (when only three athletes had entered the event), and placing Jasīʼyūn second in the early medal standings.

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Elsewhere in the morning’s competitions, the “home-field advatage” seemed non-existent, with badminton player 한상명 (Han Saŋ-myūŋ) the only winner, edging out Taeshite opponent Stacy Gulls 20–22, 21–11, 22–20. In group play, both Capitalizt women’s handball and water polo teams were defeated, along with Capitalizt SLANI’s American football and Jasīʼyūn’s lacrosse team in the demonstration events. All four jūdōkas, six fencers, and the badminton double also lost in this morning’s action, eliminating them from their respective competitions (with the possible exception of the jūdōkas, who could theoretically win bronze through the repêchage).

Two minor controversies have developed surrounding the Games. The Monastic Olympic Committee’s outspoken spokesperson Father Vasily the Heavily-Accented has protested the placement of his nation’s delegation in last night’s opening ceremony, decided by an overly-literal Noterelenda translation of the name as Te Arqrégimansi rather than the correct Arqrégimansi’da. Also, Newmanistani fencer Amy Repsher was unable to compete in women’s sabre fencing due to paperwork issues, though has been added to the épée and foil events. A rumor has spread that this was caused by a COLOCOG official spilling coffee on the Newmanistani delegation’s entry forms, but the organization has declined to comment.

Land de Wood Sports Olympiad Special
Well after the highs and lows of football we are back with the minor sports.
Our World Lacrosse Runners up were in action playing Neuvos Aires. Margaret seems to like us playing this nation in various sporting competitions and another win was the order of the day.
A convincing Land de Wood 14–10 Nuevos Aires featured goals from Adelio Acosta [6], Courtenay Egger [3], Enzo Edwards [2], Declan Basile, Kenichi Ikeda , Ethan Hovsepian. Ethan Hovspeian also managed 6 assists and just edged Acosta for the man of the match award.

At the recent Sports Festival in Qazox our voleyball team struggled. But today they put in an impressive performance against Kura Pelland, beating them 25-10, 25-9, 25-10 to take a convincing 3 set nothing win.

From www.abs.as

Early Results From Day One

The Olympics kicked off with a bang as two medal events and a number of qualifiers were on the morning card. Five Asteran athletes were involved in the competition, with the results being less than satisfactory.

In the Women's Sabre contest, Anna Arnesen fell to Gi Mi-sūŋ of Capitalizt SLANI 14-7. She was the only Asteran competitor in the event.

In the 60kg Men's Judo, Keith Mulder was the only casualty of the first round, falling to Junichiro Matsudo of Maineiacs.

In the Men's 10m Air Pistol, Gary Bourne finished tied for 21st with a score of 572.

In the Women's 10m Air Rifle, Pat Knight finished tied for 17th with a score of 389. Mattea Osérina of Jasī'yūn won the gold with a record 103.8 in the final, giving her a record total of 499.8, smashing the old total of 498.3.

The lone bright spot came out of 48kg Women's Judo, as Delana Ford advanced to the quarterfinals by beating Sarah Brooks of Capitalizt SLANI. She will compete later today.

The other medal sport, Women's 48kg Weightlifting, had no Asteran competitor. Krista Halford of Kura-Pelland won the gold with a 202.5 kg total, destroying the 180 kg record.

In some ways this was a disappointing day for Kura-Pelland, with defeats for various competitors in team sports and the highly-rated gridiron team needing two defensive touchdowns to beat Maineiacs.

But nobody cares much about that as Kura-Pelland top the embryonic medals table at teatime on day one, prior to the evening session. Krista Halford and Melissa Turnbull doing a demolition job on all-comers in the womens' 48kg weightlifting. Both snatched 90kg before Halford secured victory with her second clean and jerk, 110kg. Turnbull's attempt at 112.5kg - having succeeded at 107.5kg earlier - failed, and Halford went on to lift that weight as well.

The other medal event of the day was the womens' 10m air rifle, won by Jaseuyeon's Mattea Osérina with a new Olympic record performance.

Kura-Pellandi failures of the day included two almost identical defeats to B Bluth Corporation pairs in the womens' badminton doubles; the Charlton sisters were beaten by Amanda van Pell and Ashley Ray 21-11, 21-19 while Ciara McAuley and Sara Harlton-White lost 21-12, 21-19 to Jennifer Estes and Heather Keene. There was a 33-20 defeat in handball to Newmanistan, a score that flattered the losing team, while the lacrosse team were humiliated 14-5 by Kosovoe and the womens' water polo team were stunned 7-5 by Qazox. The women's indoor volleyball team fared worst of all, utterly destroyed by Land de Wood 25-10, 25-9, 25-10.

But it's all about Krista Halford now. Kura-Pelland just got a new sporting role model, and with her Games done as a competitor, she's set to be flexing her smaller muscle groups soon. The ones in her mouth, for her outspoken remarks. She seems certain to sign various deals in the next few days, and has already been approached to be used as an analyst for NTV's coverage of the Games, an offer she seems certain to accept.

Athlete Profile

Today we profile medal favorite Sasha Nugmanov who is expected to do well in the 10,000 meter run. From the muslim minority of Kanji Starter, he grew up in a impoverished hometown where he took to running as a way to escape his problems at home in the region of Somoroa. His skills were spotted at an early age by a scout at a track meet in Dinsmark and he was recruited into the exclusive Athletic School of Kanji Starter. After leaving his disadvantaged home, he excelled at the Athletic School and became one of the future stars of the Kanji Starter athletic program. His wins in national and international events in the 10,000 meter dash have made him a favorite in the press for a medal or a victory in the Games of the III Olympiad.

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Keep track of who's winning what with the medal tally on KBC Online's special Olympic site (http://kelssek.tripod.com/kbc/columbia08/index.html)
Heh, we're such underdogs, we're not even on the list! Yay! :tongue:

Really nice job on the site.

Thanks, but now that you've pointed it out, you're going onto the list :P

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Transcript of the 1:00pm news broadcast of the BT-FNC English

"...and with that, over to Jennifer Htaŋita and the latest news about the 3r Olympics."

J.H.: "Thank you. The day is only half over, and it's been a nail-biter through and through.

In the first round for women's singles in Badminton, Lekourse was beaten by Taeshan's Nicole Reilly 21-12 and 21-15, Masonne lost against Leona Crutcher from Unified Beretania in two sets 21-8 and 21-14.

In Badminton doubles, we did only fare a little better; whereas Lekourse and Masonne were beaten by Roumberrians Barrolina & Berrinda ReBrrun 21-8 and 21-6 and the double Lekourse-Neuwille lost to Arnna and Ilsa WhiteBear of Bears Armed 21-18 and 21-10, the duo Masonne-Neuwille managed to beat Liang and Climie of Krytenia in three sets 21-15, 9-21, 21-16.

The first three rounds of women's individual sabre went down so far; Andala Śrautiva was narrowly defeated by Wentland's Michelle Hilton in the first round. Both Tea Aoke and Nandina Mehirga proceded with splendid showings to the quarterfinals, which are to take place later today.

Our women's indoor volleyball team played its first match at the group stage against Ariddian Isles today, and in a surprisingly excellent performance managed to beat their opponents 25-15, 25-14, 25-15.

Judoka Atika Eoke was defeated by Chan Yi of Secristan in the second round after having bypassed the first round.

In the women's 48kg weightlifting category, both our contestants Xriṣṭiya-Mokoe and Hara'a did not manage to be placed among the top three with 175.0kg and 172.5kg as their best lifts, respectively.

Finally, our women managed to score a win in water polo during their first group stage match against Jasīʼyūn with an end result of 9-6.

And that's it for now. I hope you will all join me later this evening to get a summary of today's events; and don't forget that you can always watch live broadcast of various Olympic events on all five Baranxtuan National Sport Channels in the language of your preference.

And now on to our resident weatherman..."

The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport>Olympics>Badminton
Richotti out on Day One as reality bites
Paul Thompson in Columbia

If a record-breaking Saturday morning television audience needed reminding that there’s a big difference between overcoming the finest athletes of Nethertopia or Lussolavizzovia, and competing for Olympic Gold, they got it on the opening day of the Games proper as one of C&M’s strongest medal hopes – the women’s badminton pair – were swept aside by another of the favourites.

Sukon Bhumanipam and Pakpao Adulyadej were simply too good for the Candelariasian duo of Pearce Pedotti and Holly Richards. The open draw was always likely to throw up at least one such tie, but the Rushmori number ones are still known to have reacted with disappointed to the draw and quickly declared themselves as underdogs. Nervous throughout, in front of a passionate crowd far larger than anything they would have previously experienced, Richards missed several simple early chances and two audacious but ultimately dispiriting jump smashes, utterly failing to put her greater experience as a doubles specialist to good use. Pedotti for her part grew increasingly impatient with her long-time partner, screaming at the Green Island native’s mistakes on several occasions.

After losing six of the opening eight games, the Candelariasians rallied – but only momentarily. They were ultimately dispatched in two simple sets, leaving both players inconsolable.

The Roumberre pair of Barrolina and Berrinda ReBrrun had the simplest victory of the morning, but Adulyadej and Bhumanipam may have emerged as favourites after this match. Richards and Pedotti must now pick themselves up ahead of the mixed doubles tomorrow, with both players and their partners facing opposition from the Bluth Corporation.

The day had started so well for Pedotti, easing past yet another Bluth-born opponent in the opening round of the singles. With Bianca Chalk granted a bye and María Núñez overcoming “Bad” Emma Gayle (the badminton-playing Emma Gayle at the Olympics who probably isn’t as strong as her namesake from Wentland) with similar ease. The superbly named Jennifer Hippo of the Landau Institute meanwhile had done C&M no favours at all – ousting Bhumanipam in the first round and firing the Maineiac up for the challenge ahead.

That part of the C&M squad not armed with a racket get underway this afternoon, with Ornella Albano, Helen Degand, Zoe Evans, Marco Antonio Gabriel de Anda, Georgina Naylor and Rául Rivas all in the pool and hoping not to finish last in their heats.

(From an ‘Olympic Special’ included with today’s issue of newspaper 'The Bear Necessities'...)


AND SO IT BEGINS…


Well, the Summer Games of the ‘III Olympiad’ have started, so how well will our nation’s sportsbears fare in international competition this time?

The first Games of this series took place quite shortly after we opened contact with the outside world, at a city name Ashford in the nation of Casari, but the committee set up to organise our entry into that contest was only able to get a relatively small team put together in time: We sent a total of 48 athletes, for 49 entries in 19 events in just 7 sports, and these brought home just 3 medals — 2 gold and 1 silver — which was enough to place them at 27th out of 38 in the overall table of results.
And then a dispute between the High Council and certain of the separate Clans, over funding, meant that we didn’t manage to send anybody at all to the series’ second Summer Games…
So now we come to the series’ third Summer Games, which are the largest so far in terms of both the number of nations involved (48, up from 38 in the first Games) and number of actual entrants.

This time, the funding problems have been sorted-out and the organisation of our entries began at an early enough date for a delegation of a much more respectable size to be assembled. We’ve sent along a total of 343 sportsbears, as 382 entries in 228 events in 21 different sports, including competitors in some sports that our people didn’t even know about before those first Summer Games, even if our entrants for the various “Demonstration Events” (which were added to the Olympic schedule for these Games only, and don’t have medals to be won) aren’t counted… and if those are counted too then that’s another 101 entrants for us. We were able to get our national committees for all of the additional sports properly recognised by the relevant international federations in time to qualify our competitors in those events for entry, and to hold preliminary trials that gave our overall team representation from a much wider selection of the Clans than was the case in the earlier contest. We have also sent along entrants from some of our nation’s non-Ursine minority-groups (40 Harr’aynau, 21 Humans [14 from Clan SnowyPeaks, and 7 recent immigrants from Ceorana], 6 Hwa, 3 Brocken, and 2 Smith-folk…), for the first time in any international competition, and in fact their greater fitness for certain events means that although they collectively comprise only 04% or so of the national population they are actually providing more than 20% of our entrants for the “Medal Events”! (Will this presence help to establish their people more fully in the public nose as integral parts of our nation, or will that difference in ratios lead to public annoyance? Discussion on pages 07-08 inside.)

The opening ceremony for these Games was a brilliant spectacle, and we congratulate the organisers — as well as all of the participants—on how well it went. Our own team was given eighth place in the parade, which was arranged in alphabetical order of the entering nations’ names in the host-nation’s script, and received as much applause from the watching crowds as did as any of the other visiting teams even though almost all of those other teams were Humans like a majority of that crowd’s own members. Yes, I did say “almost all” rather than “all”: Our neighbours and allies in Roumberre have also sent along a team (an all-Ursine one in their case) that, although smaller than ours, is still large enough to have a decent chance of at least a few medals… in some of the events where we don’t have any of our own strongest hopes competing, anyway.
The flag of the Confederated Clans was carried by Arwenna ar Thyrro (Interview and pictures, page 21), a young female from Clan Arttorran, who will be competing in one of the ‘Equestrian’ (i.e. horse-riding) events. There have been some protests that she was chosen because her appearance would be most pleasing to the watching Humans, and that a sportsbear of more typically Ursine appearance — and one who is entered in a more typically Ursine choice of sport — should have received that honour instead, but as she was actually chosen for this role by the Oracle at Rambarrh rather than by any of our Olympic Committee’s members such complaints are toothless. She was followed by Siggurr Thuleann — old “PolarBear” himself, winner of a gold medal in the second set of Winter Olympics, who is our committee’s chairbear — and by the respected shabear Borren Moonsilver who is the only representative of the Silver-of-Night Clan in our team, before the rest of our entrants followed in clan-groups according to the usual order of precedence.
Borren Moonsilver will be taking part in a demonstration of ‘Summer Vigil Fasting’, an event that was added to these Games at the request of the Human holy men from “The Archregimancy”, but before leaving his team-mates for the start of this he invoked the blessing of the Seven Holy Helpers on their efforts _


“May Little Bear help us all to remain in touch with our Ursine nature, and to draw support from this;
May Pig help the members of our team entries to work together;
May Donkey help us to find the willpower and endurance to carry on when we feel weak;
May Owl help us to make the best decisions;
May Rabbit help us to be as swift as we need;
May Tiger help us to find courage and fierceness when we need it;
And may The Strangers help us to keep our dealings with outsiders friendly.”

_____________________________________________________

FURTHER OLYMPIC NEWS

‘What Good Sports!’ _ A list of the various sports involved, with explanations about how those of them that aren’t well-known in Bears Armed yet are carried out and an assessment of out chances. (Pages 03-06)
‘Results: Day One’ (Pages 09-20)
‘Who’s Who? [part 1]’ (Pages 21-27)


(OOC: Sorry, out of time for now: my next post here will be on Monday…)

Hoji Metropolitan Daily Record Online
Midday Report: Kura Pelland Tops Medal Standings Early On

Columbia, UCS - Kura-Pelland sits atop the medal standings thanks to the women’s 48kg weightlifting event. Krista Halford won gold, and Melissa Turnbull won silver respectively for Kura Pelland for two quick medals. To top it off, Halford set a new Olympic record in the event. The Territories’ Taji Nitta finished in joint fifth place.

In the demonstration sport of American football, the Fujisawan Territories topped the Bears Armed mens team, 33-14. Also in group B, the Ariddian Isles’ women’s team defeated the Bluth Corporation, 31-17.

Sahoko Raikatuji had a bye in the first round of women’s singles badminton. Although it’s fair to say that watching the competition was rather exciting. Of note, Sukon Bhumanipam (MAI) was defeated by Doctor Jennifer Hippo (LID) in two sets, 21-11, 21-15

Turning to judo, Tadasu Kikawa had a first round bye in the men’s 60kg, before defeating 배동모 (Bā Doŋ-mo) of Jasīʼyūn. The final is scheduled for later today.

In the women’s 48kg, Sui Kido had a first round bye before being defeated by Tan Rue of Bears Armed in the second round.

Elsewhere, the Fujisawan women’s indoor volleyball team had a bye, and in women’s water polo, it was an 8-8 tie with the Bluth Corporation.

At the Olympic Village

“Cheers!” - Oleg Du Toit smiled as he raised his glass. It had no wine in it – alcohol and drugs were off-limits for the duration of the Games. Rather, orange juice filled Du Toit's glass and the glasses of the other Allanean sportsmen.

Sure, Allanea has been trounced roundly in almost any team sport imaginable, but frankly, the Allaneans cared very little. As far as anybody in the country could remember, Allanea has never won anything in any international team event – unless, of course, you counted 'war' to be a team event. Even the team members themselves weren't really disappointed.

There has been, of course, one happy exception today:

“Congratulations, Lacrosse people!” - Oleg beamed at the far end of the table, where the lacrosse team showed him their thumbs.

“I would also congratulate the lovely Kitsy Tog for triumphing in the first three rounds of individual sabre, and also the Leibovitch sisters for having so much success in the various badminton competitions.”

Even before the applause died down, Du Toit snuck a glance at the only person he really had eyes for.

Several hours later

Hannah Leibovitch would likely not be considered beautiful in many countries outside Allanea. Her hair was a deep shade of red, and her face was pale and covered in freckles. She wore glasses, of course, and unlike many Allanean women who wore glasses as a fashion accessory, she actually needed them.

She was rather thin for a sportswoman, and her breasts were rather smaller than you'd expect at her age. But Du Toit thought she was beautiful. He had watched her during the match, moving with the grace of self-assured competence that can be only given by real skill, and now he looked at her through the open door of her room at the Olympic village.

And now he was certain.

He walked into the room, a half-empty glass in hand, smiling at Hannah as she stood by the window, looking wistfully at the lights of the Olympic village outside.

“This is like New Thermopilae when you're landing in an airplane.” - she sighed – and Oleg's heart jumped. He knew now that she had left the door open on purpose.

He walked close to her, letting the glass come to rest on the windowsill.

“I watched you during the games, Hannah.” - he said, simply - “Actually, I noticed you on the plane here.”

She shook her head. “You think I didn't notice?”

Du Toit gasped. “What?”

“Really. That's just silly.”

“You mean...”

“Yes... I do mean. Come here. Tonight was victory night. Let's celebrate it.”

Before he could say anything, Leibovitch grabbed him by his shoulders and pulled him into her embrace.

And then they kissed, of course.

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OLYMPIC REPORT PODCAST - AUGUST 9, 2008

http://media.switchpod.com//users/kelssek/olympicreport20080809.mp3


http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/medalsscreenshot.png

Keep track of who's winning what with the medal tally on KBC Online's special Olympic site (http://kelssek.tripod.com/kbc/columbia08/index.html)


OOC: I probably shoulnd't be posting in this thread, but, why am I on that list? My country isn't paricipating in this contest. Also, our 3-letter code is WSK, not WIJ.

QSPN.com/OLYMPIC COVERAGE

The first full day of Olympic events saw few, if any of Qazox's teams or athletes in action. Though Qazox has a large population upon to draw, there is but few events the nation is participating in. Is it either out of fear of failure, or is it that the QOC just wants to send the best chances for Olympic medals? Either way, we do have some updates from Columbia, UCS.

Water Polo (Women):

In tightly contested match, Qazox edged out Kura-Pelland 7-5, as Lilia Lueders scored twice in the final minute, giving the women a rare international win.

SCORE SUMMARY
Qazox 2 1 1 3 7
Kura-Pelland 2 0 1 2 5

Qazox Goals:
Lilia Lueders-3
Lorrie Blackstone- 1
Allyson Folts- 1
Margery Nolley-1
Louisa Damian- 1


Stay tuned to QSPN, QSPN2, QSPNOcho, and QSPNInternational for live coverage of every Qazoxian event, and tune into QSPN.com for 24/7 live streaming video for any competition.

A Team and A dream. The story of the Taeshan Olympic Team

Winners and Losers

Winners

They proved it today, all Taeshani national team members suck. Today only two individuals or teams won in there events. The National Lacrosse Leaugue champions the Ying Jing Shockers stunned the Arridian Isles womens team 10-9 in a last minute game wiining goal by team Captain and team leader Rowan Qwarant, and Nicole Reilly defeated Bluth Corporation's Anne-Mari Lekourse in Badmiton. It was a bad day.

Losers

And then you have all the losers. First up is the falling Football team, after getting knocked out in the World Bowl befoe the second round today again the Fitin' Falcons lost. To West Pocono, a team we've never heard of from a protectorate of Nwmanistan. Then Han San Myun defeated Stacy Gulls, and Axly Fregortseb both lost there matches in Badmiton. And the cherry on the ice cream the Womens Indoor Volleyball team lost to Newmanistan in 3 straight sets. There horrible.

THE OFFICIAL ARCHREGIMANCY MONASTIC OLYMPIC CALENDAR

MARCH

Fr. Emilian the Emaciated
Summer Vigil Fasting

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a319/vakraas/ephraim2.jpg

Favourite Famous Saint: St John the Faster, the Patriarch of Constantinople
Favourite Obscure Saint: Venerable Macarius the Faster, Abbot of the Khakhuli Monastery
Favourite Colour: Black
Favourite Monastery: St. Catherine's in the Desert (preferably the isolated outlying cells)
Likes: Fasting, vegeterianism, tilling the fields
Dislikes: Meat, cheese, eggs
Olympic Dream: What are these 'Olympics' of which you speak?

Day 08–09 B results (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13909095&postcount=3) are up.

OOC: I probably shoulnd't be posting in this thread, but, why am I on that list? My country isn't paricipating in this contest. Also, our 3-letter code is WSK, not WIJ.

OOC: You're quite right, you shouldn't be posting in this thread, because, well, ummm... you're not on that list to begin with.

A Team and A Dream. The Story of the Taeshan Olympic Team

Wow 6 swimmers entered the 4000 M mens and womens heats, but only Song Kaker made it to the second round of the Olympics with the 15th qualifying speed out of 16. It was a horrible day for all the Taeshani Teams.

"It's down to you, Jeanne...I'm sorry..."

"Quoi? Alors..."

Jeanne Delangle was the sole survivor in the sabre. It had been a disaster. Indeed the whole fencing campaign had been a disaster. In the period since the last Games there had not been an improvement in the Wentland fencing academies at all. The imported fencers had rested on their laurels and nobody was breaking through the youth ranks.

Instead the team was the same as the previous one, only this time with less hope for medals. And this was borne out in the sabre. Delangle was slow and second-best to all the parries. She managed to muster a handful of points and at one point came from 7-0 down to 10-7 against Gi Mi-sūŋ, but hopes of an unexpected comeback were dashed with three quick most palpable hits. From then on it was damage limitation. And not much of that.

So, the last 16 of the women's sabre. And no Wentland - or flag-of-convenience-Wentland - competitors remaining.

Well, the archery would be better.

***

The women's archery team was riven by faction.

Again.

Kate Lonergan sneered at Siobhan Fogarty when Fogarty missed the target with her second shot. Fogarty openly laughed when Lonergan hit consecutive ones.

They were both however put in their shade by Kellie Bright. The youngster had shockingly broken through in the last World Championships by taking an unexpected gold - leaving a seething Lonergan and Fogarty in second and third. A breathless and teary Bright explained her improvement at a press conference. "I just imagined some nasty beast was about to kidnap Bertie Bear and Hoggy the hedgehog, and pictured the beastie as the target. Then plugged the sucker right through his heart."

And the same technique had worked again, thus far at least. Fourth overall in the ranking round had guaranteed her a place in the second round. But Lonergan and Fogarty had to play through the first. No day off for them.

"Ha ha, blue shoe, I will beat you!!!" laughed Bright as the results were announced. "I've got the day off."

"Did the sprog say something, Hogarty?" asked Kate Lonergan, seemingly unhearing.

"I don't know, Gangrene. Perhaps she was saying she needed spanking by her superiors?"

"WAAA!!!!" The world champion bolted.

"Still, at least we can get back to grinding opposition into the dust, again. Of course you won't be able to, you're out. But at least you can perv on the gymnasts again, Hogface."

"That's what you think, Greenie. I'm going further than you."

"You want a bet?"

"After last time? Oh dear, Pongergan...you never learn, do you?"

"Oh, you just wait, See-owe-ban. You just WAIT."

***

It had been said, cruelly, that Wentland's only success in the pool would be in synchronized drowning. Wentland was a nation of fighters, not swimmers. And this was generally borne out in the heats with all of the Wentland entrants in the first day of swimming action going home.

Except one.

Foreman Irvin broke his own national record in the individual medley by four clear seconds. The top 20 was considered beyond him before the Games but suddenly he was in with an outside shot of the final. Could he find an extra second?

***

The football had started promisingly as well. The women had drawn with Secristan in their first match and the second had ended in a 2-0 victory, with Fujisawan Territories eliminated as a result. It was a fraught final five minutes, with Sammy Leigh, the begoggled guardian of the goal, producing three world-class saves before a punch from a corner saw substitute Marney find Persson with a similarly-world-class ball for the Northmere starlet to slot home. The Territories team collapsed in dismay as their participation in the Games was effectively over, but the Hummingbirds - as the young ladies had been termed for their buzzing all over the pitch - were a draw away from advancement.

Meanwhile, fourteen nations had won medals. Would Wentland be the fifteenth?

"Good evening and welcome to the Olympic Roundup on ABS One. I'm Alan Eagle. The first day of the Games ended with seven gold medals being handed out, none to Asteran athletes. The day hasn't been kind to the athletes, with a large number of eliminations."

"Delana Ford, the Asteran hope in the Women's 48 kilogram judo, was eliminated in the quarterfinals by Sayuri Kaede of Maineiacs. In the first repechage round, she was eliminated from medal contention by Karleen Call of Xalostia. After her match, we spoke to her."

"Well, I didn't think that I would really pull it off. The competition was much better than I was, but it was a good learning experience. I hope I can come back next time and successfully win something, but we'll see."

"In the men's cycling road race, Axel Hunter and Richard Kite both failed to complete the course. Kite was hurt after a crash, while Hunter was lapped by the peloton. Axel talked to us afterwards."

"Well, Richard is okay. Just a minor knee sprain, nothing too serious. As for me? Well, fatigue. I just wasn't ready for what the course threw at me. I thought I would be ready after riding a tough training regimen in the Lapands, but the other riders were just too good. I think that, in the future, we can do better. We can take what we learned and use it to develop a program to win us something in the future."

In the swimming competition, Asteran had mixed results. Terry Worth failed to qualify for the Men's 400 meter Freestyle, but successfully qualified for the Men's 400 meter Individual Medley. Leo Wendlinger qualified third for the Men's 100 meter Breaststroke, posting a time almost a second behind the top qualifier. Marianne McCarver failed to qualify for the Women's 400 meter Freestyle or the 400 meter Individual Medley. Paulette Mayfair failed to qualify for the Women's 100 meter Butterfly. The Women's 4x100 meter Relay team finished last in the competition, failing to qualify."

"In football, the Lady Lions fell to West Pocono 2-0. This puts them in second in the group with a chance to still qualify for the knockout stages. They play Maineiacs in the final match to determine the qualifiers."

"Check our website for more information and exclusive interviews. We'll be back at the same time tomorrow to review all the day's events and hopefully show you an Asteran medallist or two. I'm Alan Eagle, and this has been the Olympic Roundup on One."

The theme music segues into a musical tribute to Capitalizt culture. You know, "So conquer let's not/There's no cause that we've got/But we'll trust in Margaret, and that trust can't be bought..."

Steve: I still think we should have gone with Columbia, the Gem of Paleoparipia.
Lily: Like I told you, the meter would never work.
Yvette: The Games of the III Olympiad are officially under way. Zwangzug's delegation preceded the hosts' two groups of athletes into Holmes Stadium Friday night, and marathon winner Ham Son-lib lit the Olympic torch.
Steve: Nobody from Zwangzug competed in the first round of events-
Lily: The volleyball team did.
Steve: ...Like I said. Nobody from Zwangzug competed in the first round of events.
Darryl: Actually, they beat Nuevos Aires in three straight sets..
Lily: The volleyball team was never supposed to make much noise-and that was before getting drawn with two contenders for the overall gold.
Yvette: Indeed, the first point was scored by Nuevos Aires, when Team Zwangzug took more than three passes to hit it back over.
Darryl: The stage was set for a display of teamwork that would last throughout the afternoon.
Steve: That game goes so slowly, even with the...what'sitcalled.
Darryl: Rally scoring?
Steve: That. But could they at least not hug each other after every point?
Lily: It's a huddle. They discuss strategy and stuff.
Darryl: Notoriously poor servers, the team relied simply on returning everything that flew over their way. And for the most part, it worked. Libero Laurel Drake-Baxter, perhaps the team's best player, led the way to a close 25-20 finish in the first set.
Yvette: The momentum spurred Zwangzug on to a 25-14 victory, and they took the final set 25-17.
Steve: Zwangzug will next oppose Secristan, considered one of the best teams in the world.
Lily: But the Millionaires were just swept by West Pocono, and momentum might not be on their side.
Darryl: As mentioned before, there were plenty more competitions in the works-many of which did feature Zwangzug athletes.
Yvette: From the local perspective, perhaps none were more glamorous than the men's road cycling race.
Darryl: Fifty-three competitors took off, and over five-and-a-half hours later, Travis Fillmore crossed the finish line in seventh place.
Yvette: One of only thirty to make it there, Travis has this to say about his performance.
Travis: It's a little bit hard to clear my head right now...I don't know. Five hours, plus, and it comes down to less than a minute? Yeah, it feels bittersweet.
Darryl: Neither of Zwangzug's two other cyclists completed the race. Benjamin Shu was unavailable for comment, but we tracked down Javier Reming.
Javier: Well? The pressure was on, I'll tell you that. It's really not much like 23rd Street...far fewer corners. I gave it my best, and...wasn't enough.
Lily: The women's road race will be held at the same time tomorrow.
Yvette: Meanwhile, qualification heats in the Columbia Aquatics Center saw three swimmers from Zwangzug advance to the semifinals.
Darryl: All swam four hundred meters, also known as the "down and back and down and back and down and back and down and back". But not all were the same. Patrick Hollister swam the individual medley-a hundred meters in each event.
Lily: Patrick, how does it feel to have qualified for the next round?
Patrick: Uh...sort of wet.
Darryl: Which is your favorite stroke?
Patrick: Hmm...Probably the breaststroke, though I like the butterfly too.
Yvette: Well, congratulations, and best of luck in the semifinals.
Patrick: Thanks!
Darryl: Patrick was the fourteenth of the sixteen qualifiers.
Steve: Also known as the third from the bottom.
Lily: But third overall was Tony Griffith, who swam the 400 meter freestyle.
Darryl: Also known as "down and back and down and back and down and back and down and back", only freer.
Yvette: Impressive performance today.
Tony: Thanks.
Steve: Are you worried that you used too much energy? The semis and finals are tomorrow.
Tony: No way. Swimming in heats, you can't control what the people after you do. So I give everything I have, and hey, it pays off.
Lily: All right, well, rest up and good luck tomorrow.
Tony: All right.
Darryl: Finally, Rosie Ulm also qualified in the aforementioned 400 free. Right in the middle of the pack-eighth of the sixteenth qualifiers, with Jasīʼyūn's Kathy Sears less than a hundredth of a second behind her.
Yvette: She, too, will race in the semifinals tomorrow.
Steve: Well, that's all we have for you.
Lily: That's all? What about the multiple judo bronze medalists?
Darryl: They always do that.
Lily: All right, the quite literal Newmanistanian shootout? Kura-Pelland's hold on the top of the medal standings? Poignant interviewers with the swimmers who didn't qualify? The consecutive finishes of people named Frederico, Fred, and Frederick? Fred and Fredor...?

The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport>Olympics>Swimming
Marco Antonio Gabriel de Anda gets a semi (KBC newsreaders start to panic)
Ellie Moore in Columbia

The semi-finals of the swimming start to get underway next week – and Candelariasian supports at home and in Columbia will have a trio of athletes to cheer on, at the very least.

For most if not all of those, the second chance at these events will be their last; but merely making it this far represents a fine achievement. The best performer, by any measure, was nr Abiodun teenager Georgina Naylor, competing in these games largely for the experience but through to the 100 metre butterfly semi-finals. The bubbly youngster will certainly be up against it – in finishing tenth overall her lane draw will not be the best, and several seriously under-performing competitors including the Newmanistanian duo will be looking to final the final from the outside lanes – but in smashing her lifetime best by fully three seconds, Naylor laid down a real marker to her opponents, and gave the four by one hundred relay team a timely boost.

A more realistic chance of a Candelariasian in a final lies with Marco Antonio Gabriel de Anda. Known affectionately as ‘The Seahorse’ – the slowest fish in the world and the only one which makes a habit of swimming backwards – all twelve syllables and six feet of the Trayectoria del Encargado star was involved with an immense tussle with Gavin Bennson in the penultimate heat; the Kelssekian veteran of the second games against a man who has never competed beyond Rushmore.

Bennson ultimately got the better of the Marquezian, but both had a nervous wait until what proved to be a disappointing final heat that allowed the pair to progress alongside each other in the rankings. A turn up for the books, certainly, but by no means the only one of the 100 metre breaststroke, with Bennson’s colleague Bernard Destry well off the pace, and the Newmanistanian pair of Matt Clemons and Ron “Flipper” Harris also failing to qualify for the second stage.

With none of the top qualifiers from the heats looking likely of touching the current Olympic records, it’s up to the Team C&M’s psychologists to impress upon the remaining Candelariasians just how open the fields are – and not that their rivals simply have a lot left in the tank. The Green Wombat trio of Jenny Messina, Ruby Lindell and Eric Hines looked genuinely imperious however, and three golds for the Continuum nation does not look out of the question.

They will be joined by Ornella Albano, who just about snuck into the 400 metre freestyle semi-finals; but Zoe Evans finished last in her heat and Helen Degand and Rául Rivas suffered similar fates. John Farrier gave it his all in the men’s 400 metre freestyle, but was ultimately outclassed.

Farrier then was the first Candelariasian to leave Columbia, with his fellow defeated colleagues in the pool all having at least one final chance in another event. Hernando López Ramos soon joined him, while the women’s football side may be joining them sooner or later. Though Jay Zabojnik’s outfit dominated against Gerainia, striker Lelliot-Leigh Sodje continued to show the after-effects of an unfortunate incident in Starblaydia last month and couldn’t help the C&M team find the back of the net. Only a seemingly unlikely victory over Sorthern Northland will give them any realistic hope of qualifying.

A woman from Candelaria And Marquez went up one end and scored, and then a woman from Coocoostan went up the other end and scored, and then a woman from Candelaria And Marquez went up the previously mentioned end and scored, and then a woman from Coocoostan went up the other end and scored; but C&M’s team did this slightly more often than their Coocoostani counterparts. Steven Fletcher University linguistics student Beth Petch emerged top scorer from the game and later commented, “It’s not ice hockey, but it’ll do.”

Nope, me neither. Never mind these ‘New Candelariasians’; it’s the ‘old’ ones I worry about…

__________________

The Albrecht Herald Online>Breaking News
López Ramos ‘on his way home’ C&M cyclists Hernando López Ramos is expected to return to the Candelarias early tomorrow, after being found wandering in Südtolzerio, Tarraconesis.

Locals admit they are ‘baffled’ by how the Arrigo native ended up so far from Columbia, though several conceded that his bicycle may provide a clue. According to local media, López Ramos was “gibbering and shaking in fear”, making reference to “the giant badger” and insisting that he now planned to swim to Kura-Pelland. Other sources suggest however that he was merely speaking in Candelarias Spanish.

López Ramos, a former track racer who switched to roads two years ago and competed in the last Tour de Qazox, was considered by many Candelariasian pundits as a major contender in the road race, but his failure to complete the course will once again raise questions of the COCACMAO, CCF and CAMCAM’s selection policy.

Fran Ventoso won the race, and everyone agreed that his country have a really nice anthem.

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Excerpt from the transcript of the live broadcast of the Individual Sabre Quarterfinals, BT-FNC English

"... and Mehirga lost!? Motherfu---"

---

Break room, FNC-English Studios

"You know, Andy, I don't think that was quite appropriate."

"Ya think? Both Tea and Nandina! After Andala in the first round! That's just not right!"

"You've been a sports reporter for how long? You should know best that one little screw up at the wrong point can make - if Jaṇḍra catches you smoking again, she's gonna sack ya."

"Oh, she can stuff that - speak of the devil! Jaṇḍra, that's totally not mine! It's, um, Turati's!"

Jaṇḍra stalked over to the two men and snatched the cigarette from Andrew's hand. She took a drag and growled. "Fuck my rules, today's been too much of a downer. Oh, damn, I promised myself not to start again. Ugh. Whatever. Just... just don't do that again, and if we don't get too many complaints, I'll overlook your, ahem, indiscretion. Now go, call your girlfriend, Htaŋita's going to cover the review of today."

"Jennifer? That radio airhead?"

"At least she knows the difference between a sabre, foil and épée without looking it up. Now go. Call. Tea. I daresay she'll need to vent."

---

"Sports Afterhour with Johnny Mesopri" - BT-FNC English

"Good evening, dear viewers. Joining me in the studio today are are Jennifer Htaŋita, who was so kind as to substitute for Andrew Madison-Indāgi; Dr Icarīn Seonāriṭ Ayati of the Siraŋe Institute of Sports - "

"Good evening!"

"- and the Most Reverend Aŋliya Naoratu Aldaña, High Priestess of Maña in Siraŋe."

"Blessings upon all in the name of the Most Holy and Most Exalted."

"After a quick look at today's results at the Olympics, we will discuss with Mr Ayati and Ms Aldaña the pros and cons of the new fad of sportive fasting, and other allegedly spiritually healthy sports. But first, let's hear from Jennifer about the latest results of the Olympics."

"Thanks Johnny. Well, after a promising start for our fencers Aoke and Mehirga, both got kicked out during the quarterfinals. Tea Aoke lost against Berrinda ReBrrun of Roumberre 5-15, Nandina Mehirga lost against Cafundéu's Ana Luiza Prado 8-15. ReBrrun went on to win silver after defeating Prado in the semifinals and losing to Ruberta of Han-Ttsau in the finals. Prado won bronze with a win against Patty Barnard.

Now, let's take a look at swimming. The heats for a number of events were run today, and good news first, BCO athletes could qualify in each event!

In men's 400m freestyle, Kimbehāŋi placed 2nd in the heats, qualifying for the semifinals. Taron missed qualification for the 400m freestyle, but managed to score second place in the 400m medley heats. Mourize Janne placed 15, narrowly qualifying for the semifinals.

Zilpati was 10th in the 100m breaststroke heats and is in the semifianls, Garonne, who was only 27th, is not.

Among our women, Simhala qualified during the 400m freestyle heats as 5th fastest; Goudense narrowly missed on qualifying, placing only 17.

In the 100m butterfly heats Mehoke placed 9th, whereas Nabitsa missed qualification by only 0.02 seconds.

Mehoke only finished 28th during the 400m individual medley, but Mehirga managed to secure a place in the semifinals by reaching place 6.

And finally, our women's freestyle relay team narrowly made it into the next round, reaching 8th place out of 21.

Our football team continues to not shine at all; an embarassing 3-0 against Krytenia seals the fate of our women's team as being eliminated.

Better news for our boxing fans; Cikoutimian light heavyweight Pierre Fourgenor won in the first round after beating scoring 23-14 against Newmanistan's Kevin Scott.

A narrow win was made by our women's basketball team, who won 69-63 against the team from Kura-Pelland.

That would be the latest news."

"Thank you, Jenny. And now, sportive fasting. What it is, and whether it is good for you, and more we will discuss right when we're back after this short commercial break!"

POIUYTREWQ POST

KENAVT'S DAY AT THE OLYMPICS

"Nothing to report." says KOC chief

Columbia, United Capitalizt States-The Kenavt Olympic Committee chief Kennedy Parkoum's comment on the day's activities on Kenavtan participation at the III Olympiad?

"Nothing to report. No one's gotten anything." Parkoum went on to explain all of the Kenavtan medal chances, and gave the most recent estimate of medals: "around seven, maybe more. Hopefully not less."

Over the past two days, Olympians from the Sovereignty, operating under the Olympic shorthand "KEN", have competed in one men's soccer match, one bye in the in the American football qualifying, plus the qualifying for the swimming events (all men) 400m freestyle, 100m breaststroke, and 400m breastroke. Only Connor da Vincho in the 100m breastroke event qualified to the next round, with the soccer team sitting pretty and ready to go for gold.

It has been rumoured that the medal winners will receive extra prizes from the KOC along these lines-gold medals դր110,000 KEN (just under 50,000 Universal Standard Dollars), silver medals դր60,000 KEN (just over 25,000), bronze medals դր30,000 (just under $13000 USD). Teams will receive դր15000 KEN per person (just over $6000) per gold, դր7500 KEN per person for silver (just over $300), and դր5000 KEN per person for bronze (just over 2000)However, no one has yet qualified for those rewards.

As always, you can get the latest results from all the Olympic action at www.pp.ken (OOC: of course that's a fake web address, I tried it, and no real country has the rights to it, for Kenya is .ke). However, the Sovereignty has no medals yet. Here are the results from yesterday and today's magnificent Olympic action involving Kenavtans:


Men's Soccer
Kenavt 2, Maineiacs 1

Men's American Football
Kenavt bye

Men's 400m Freestyle
Cut: 16
Field of 52
Lowest qualifying time: 3:53:21
Top time: 3:47.11

Connor da Vincho
DNQ
3:58.65, 36th.

Justin Govacs
DNQ/18th
3:53.48

Men's 100m Breaststroke
Cut: 16
Field of 40
LQT: 1:03.00
Top time: 1.01:32

Connor da Vincho
7th/Qualified
1:02.35

Fredrick Poi
37th/DNQ
1:05.23

Men's 200m Breastroke
Cut: 16
Field of 35
LQT: 4:23.84
Top Time: 4:16.37

Fredrick Poi
27th/DNQ
4:28.05

First triumph for Wentland!!!

Wentland has obtained its first success in the Games - a bronze medal, awarded by the Nationstates Vexillogical Society for having the third best flag of the competitors. "We particularly liked its clean design and distinctiveness," said President B.T. Hoist, "as a fess split by a bar of the first achieves a most pleasing division of the field. Not likely to be mistaken for any other country's flag."

Wentland lost points for an imbalance of colour. "It is perhaps too dominated by royal blue," explained President Hoist. "We understand that this is a colour deemed sacred by the Went, but we are examining matters from a vexillogical perspective, rather than a national one. We would have preferred a wider fess to ensure the white filled an exact third of the field."

The gold, perhaps surprisingly, went to obscure Montgisard. "We appreciate that there is a technical breach of the colour-on-colour conventions," explained President Hoist. "However, national flags are often deliberately designed to break such provisions, to emphasize the importance of a national flag. We understand this indeed to be the case here and so it amounts to an augmentation rather than desecration. And the combination of a simple basic design with a flourish of the crosslets achieves a pleasing and unique effect."

Sorthern Northland took silver. "Although the voiding of the cross leaves it a little difficult to discern from a distance, under normal circumstances the charming retrospective motif in the canton would provide sufficient distinction to prevent misunderstanding," claimed Hoist. "The slightly darker red as well is an excellent touch, adding a little imperiousness to the overall effect of the flag. It is one of which to be proud."

But Professor Hoist was scathing about some of the entries. "They are far too fussy. To enable allegiance a flag should be simple, replicable and distinctive. Children should be able to describe or colour it easily. What on earth is the Maineiacs flag meant to be? And Capitalizt SLANI have evidently considered a flag to be meaningless, the adoption of what amounts to a corporate logo is similar to that used by estate agents on new developments. Which may have been the intention, but vexillogically it does not work."

What was Professor Hoist's own least favourite? "Well, it would be unkind of me to say, but let me say that I would be amazed if any country were to follow Allanea's example. All those stars and stripes? How can they carry any meaning?"

Kanji Starter finishes heartbreaking 4th in Mens Road Cycling

Many people were expecting Pavel malkin to be in medal contention today, but Fredor Dal shocked the world and nearly won a medal in the Men’s Road Cycling event today.

The race started organizers decided to use the stage nine course from the tour De Capatalzist. Many cycling observers noted this as a flat stage that favors sprinters and hurts mountaineers. The race started off with a large pelaton and it thinned out over time with retirements during the race and some crashes. The worst crash was when Leonardo Borges hit a curb and split his bike in half. Though he was unhurt, his bike was destroyed and he had to retire from the race.

At the 90 kilometer mark, there was a twenty two bike crash. Nine of the riders had to retire as a result of crash damage and many other riders like medal favorite Pavel Malkin of Kanji Starter had to rejoin the field and lost any chance they had at a medal. This allowed for a for a few surprise finishes. However, Pavel Malkin was angered because of this incident and said to a post race reporter, “I don’t want to talk about this. I want to say good race to Fredor and I hope I can come back in four years and do what I failed to do.”

The race started to sort it’s self out at the 130KM mark. Six riders broke away from the pack and they never looked back from there. These six riders included Kanji Starter’s Fredor Dal. Over the final 100KM, these six men battled it out for the Gold Medal with each rider holding the lead at some point. This was about to lead into an exciting finish where Kanji Starter almost won its first medal of the Third Olympics. With 300M to go, Fredor Dal was in second place and a possible silver medalist. However, he got into a battle with Clive Bordemann and Fred Porritt and it was a three man race for second, third and fourth. Sadily though, the more experienced Porritt and Bordemann passed Dal on the home stretch and Dal finished foutrth and .04 seconds behind getting Kanji Starter’s first medal of the games.

an tOileanach

Women draw, plenty of goals needed to advance

The An Blascaod Mór Olympic football team today drew one all with Nuevos Aires to leave their chances of progression pretty slim. An Blascaod Mór still have Alleana to play in what should be an Island win whilst Capitlizt SLANI will take on Nuevos Aires. With An Blascaod Mór's goal difference at -1 compared to the +6 of Nuevos Aires a goal feast will be the order of the day if the Islanders are to progress.

At one stage today though, if An Blascaod Mór would be out today rather than in with a chance of progression on the final matchday. Nuevos Aires started brightly with a number of chances in the opening minutes. Despite dominating the game though, the Nuevos Aires players had clearly left they're shooting boots at wherever they played during the six nil thrashing of Alleana. Chance after chance came and went, not once was the net found and as the game wore on the Neuevos Aires attacks became more desperate until eventually with just five minutes left they took the lead, seemingly destined to complete their passage through the group stage. However the frenzy of their attacks as the game wore on had clearly taken it's toll and with concentration seemingly gone, An Blascaod Mór substitute Maureen O'Shea was given far to much time and space and allowed to shoot from distance. It was pretty much the teams first shot all game, but whereas Neuevos Aires needed plenty of chances to score An Blascaod Mór needed just the one, and what a fine strike it was from O'Shea to keep her islands hopes very dimly alight.

Make no mistake though, a vastly improved performance will be needed if An Blascaod Mór are to be contenders here in the medal games. And they'll certainly need a lot more than one shot one goal.

[Hoji Metropolitan Daily Record Online
Nai tops 400m freestyle heats, Azumaro qualifies for 100m butterfly

Columbia, UCS - All the buzz in the latter half of day one amongst Fujisawans here at home, and attending the games in Columbia, was Jozenna Nai finishing atop the field of swimmers in the women’s 400m freestyle heats. To top it all off, Sarasvati Channarayapatra, from the Fujisawan Territories’ protectorate of Unified Beretania, failed to qualify for the semifinal in what was considered one of her stronger events.

Nai, a star at the University of Hoji on the island of Iwosaka, was expected to do well, but few thought she would top the group. And many point out that the important thing to remember is there are still the semifinal and final to come.

Nai was the only Fujisawan Territories swimmer in the 400m freestyle heats, and her performance there set the mood for the rest of the Fujisawan swimmers that came after her. She qualified in first place with a time of 4:07.06.

“Obviously, I’m pleased. I didn’t expect it, and I know I have to give my best. I’ve got to really
push myself and make the final,” Nai told reporters after the heats.

Nai went on to qualify in third for the women’s 400m individual medley, with a time of 4:40.50, finishing behind Natália Franco of Cafundéu, and Jenny Messina of Green Wombat.

Kuri Sayamak finished thirtieth with a time of 4:57.18 in that event.

Chatchaha Azumaro qualified in fifth place with a time of :59.71 in the women’s 100m butterfly heats behind Sarah Le Pascal of Cafundéu, Jemina Rector of Krytenia, Virginia Dunston of Kelssek, and Ruby Lindell of Green Wombat.

Teiko Maka finished last in the heats for the women’s 100m butterfly, with a time of 1:10.20.

Nai then led the women’s 4x100m freestyle relay team to a sixth place qualification to complete what was a good day in the pool for her. Sayamak, who failed to qualify in the women’s 400m individual medley, redeemed herself in the 4x100m freestyle heats.

All things considered, it wasn’t too bad a day for Fujisawan Territories women’s swimming.

Mayoko Himi was the only Fujisawan to qualify on the men’s side, finishing thirteenth with a time of 1:02.89 in the men’s 100m breaststroke heats. His qualification was a pleasant surprise to most Fujisawans who had counted him out from the start. Even so, he’s on the bottom half of the qualifying swimmers, and is up against some tremendous talent.

In women’s archery, China Miyakus led all female archers in the ranking round. Lo Xiao Xing is ranked twenty second, and Amih Sawaoyot IV is ranked forty second. That puts the women’s team in second behind Allanea.

Hakinob June is ranked sixth on the men’s side, while Chiiemi Maro is ranked fourteenth, and Jusan Gondasa forty sixth. The men are fifth in team rankings.

The Fujisawan Territories lost to Wentland 2-0 in women’s association football, effectively eliminating the Territories team.

In women’s basketball, the Fujisawan Territories topped Allanea 93-79. Also in Group D, Newmanistan beat Kosovoe 75-61. Bluth Corporation had a bye.

In the cycling men’s road race, Fran Ventoso of Sorthern Northland took gold, Clive Bordemann of Krytenia took silver, and Fred Porritt of Kura-Pelland took bronze. The Territories’ Kinnaga Ebina finished in tenth with a time of 5:42:46, Keiji Tsushima in twenty second with a time of 5:46:34, and Sanjiro Hoyomasuka did not finish the race.

A look at events coming up:
Archery—Women’s Team—First Round
Miyakus/Lo/Sawaoyot IV (FJT) Bye

Badminton—Men’s Singles—First Round
Kojuro Kuwabara (FJT) vs. Professor Kevin Stronbol (LID)

Badminton—Women’s Singles—Second Round
Sohoko Raikatuji (FJT)

Boxing—Men’s Heavyweight—First Round
Samba Kawaguchi (FJT) Bye

Judo—Men’s 66 kg—First Round
Gonnohoyo Ashida (FJT) Bye

Judo—Women’s 52 kg—First Round
Sumiko Kawasaki (FJT) vs. Deborah Murray (JSY)

Swimming—Men’s 100 m Breaststroke—Semifinals
Mayoko Himi (FJT)

Swimming—Women’s 400 m Freestyle—Semifinals
Jozenna Nai (FJT)

Swimming—Women’s 100 m Butterfly—Semifinals
Chatchaha Azumaro (FJT)

Swimming—Women’s 400 m Individual Medley—Semifinals
Jozenna Nai (FJT)

Swimming—Women’s 4×100 m Freestyle Relay—Final
Jozenna Nai/Mariko Seko/Kimasuk Min/Kuri Sayamak (FJT)

Volleyball—Men’s Indoor—Group Stage Matchday 1
Fujisawan Territories (FJT)

Water Polo—Men’s—Group Stage Matchday 1
Fujisawan Territories (FJT)

"What's going on? What happened?" the coach said as Phillipe Destry emerged near-last in his heat.

"What's happening with you guys? The women did alright, but you guys... stank up it!"

"'Stank it up', you mean?"

"YES!"

Bernard Destry looked at his brother, then to the other teammates. Slight nods were exchanged all round. Bernard cleared his throat and said, "Well..."

"What?"

"It's just that these new swimsuits are really tight around the crotch..."

"It hurts," said Joey Crookshanks.

http://img413.imageshack.us/img413/2494/snpaperac1.png (http://imageshack.us)

First ever gold for SN, won by man with girls name!

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Ventoso crosses the line to claim gold

Francisco José Ventoso Alberdi, more commonly know as Fran Ventoso has often had to put with being informed he has a girls name. Opponents have long tried to use it to wind him up, cycling fans have often joked about it and even at school he had to put up with being bullied because of it. However from today onwards that will no longer matter, the taunts will mean nothing, from now Sortherners will no longer be bothered by his girls name, for today he has written himself into Sorthern folklore. The reception Kate Bucksway received for becoming SN's first Olympic medallist at the last Winter Games was nothing short of huge and today she is still highly revered, enough to be asked to carry the Sorthern flag at the opening ceremony at these games. All that though will be nothing compared to the hero status that Fran Ventoso will receive for the rest of his life. The first Sorthern gold medallist at either the summer or winter Olympics, he will no longer be able to walk or cycle down the street without having someone thank him. And yet there is still more to come from Fran, today's road race was merely the first in a number of cycling events he will take part in.

And what a race it was. A flat stage, it was perfect for Sorthern Northland's two sprint experts, Fran and Mike Caverndash. The race however did not go at all to plan for Caverndash. One of the favourites for the gold his race started badly when his chain snapped after just 15 kilometres, more misery came when he punctured a tyre ten kilometres later and then to make to race go from bad to worse, almost as soon as he had fought his way back into the peloton, a huge crash saw his already slimming medal hopes go. Twenty two riders in total crashed when Leonardo Borges of Cafundéu swerved across the road, clipping Caverndash's front wheel sending him over handlebars and crashing into the tarmac. Speaking about the incident Caverndash was unsurprisingly a tad annoyed saying, "Where's the fucking Cafundéuse bastard? He knew what he was fucking doing and the c*nt had but no intention but to take me out. If I fucking come across him he won't get on a fucking bike again. Luckily though after he clipped me my bike flew into the bastard and knocked the fucker off crushing him and putting him out the race. Fucking prick." The Sorthern Cycling Team coaching staff have since apologised to their Cafundéuse counterparts and warned Caverndash about what he says in public.

With Caverndash out it was left to Kieran Kelly to support Ventoso to gold and that he did superbly setting up the perfect oppurtunity for Ventoso to launch an audacious break with some 130 kilometres to go. With his work done Kelly retired to leave just one Sortherner in the race. But with five men accompanying him in the breakaway that was all that was needed. The six men worked well together constantly relaying to keep their energy for the final sprints whilst also gaining time on the pack. With a couple of kilometres to go though, the pack was catching fast and the leading four stepped up the pace dropping John Frost and Luke Ivery and keeping the main field at bay. The sprint started with around four hundred metres to go and Ventoso always looked to have it in the bag with the fight being for the silver on bronze medals. In fact Ventoso was so fast he gained six seconds on the three riders with him to come home with a time of five hours forty one minutes and fifty four seconds. Clive Bordemann of Krytenia came in six seconds latter for silver with Fred Porritt of Kura-Pelland claiming the bronze and the Kanji Starter rider Fredor Dal finishing with the leading pack yet agonisingly right after the final medallist. A worst place to finish in this race, he could not have chosen.

And so for the first time in history a Sortherner stood on top of the Olympic podium to sing the national anthem. And already perennial praisers of our flag, Candelariasians watching the medal ceremony found themselves impressed with our anthem as well.

Meanwhile elsewhere...

A bye in the football, and for light heavyweight boxer Marcelo Molina meant that aside from the cyclists Sorthern Northland had just one other competitor on show today, and his performance is nearly as heroic as super Franny's. Having learnt to swim just five months ago Conor Cullen, nicknamed "The Cod" was a bit of a surprise choice to represent Sorthern Northland in the pool. Indeed he himself and his coaches have of a number of occasions said he is here for the experience only. Just one race in each event he is in was all that was expected of him. But today he put in the performance of a lifetime to qualify from the heats of the Men’s 400 m Freestyle. In doing so he set a new personal best. His time of three minutes fifty one point zero two second being nearly half of his previous personal best. After drying off he spoke to us to say, "It's a dream, surely? It has to be a dream, wake me up now! It's simply unbelievable, honestly my goal in the race was to no finish last and even doing that would have thrashed my PB. But to actually finish some way ahead of much of the field and qualify... it's amazing."

They say the Olympics is the place for dreams to come true, and today for Sorthern Northland, to win a gold has come true, and perhaps more impressively the dream of the underdog having his day has also come true. Sorthern Northland may have only been in two events today, but what an amazing two events they were. But after all is said and done, Fran is still a girls name.

Albavona Capitol Sentinel Online
Disappointment for Sarasvati

Columbia, UCS - While the Fujisawans had a good evening in the pool on the women’s side, the Beretanians had their share of success, but surprisingly, Sarasvati Channarayapatra finished eighteenth with a time of 4:13.77 in the heats for the women’s 400m freestyle, failing to qualify.

Channarayapatra’s signature event, the 100m freestyle is yet to be contested, and she led the 4x100m freestyle relay team to a third place qualification, suggesting we haven’t seen the last of her in these Olympics. Of the five events Channarayapatra is competing in, the 400m freestyle was considered one of her stronger events. The nineteen year old from Austrenta had much praise for the Fujisawan who finished first in the heats for the women’s 400m freestyle.

“She’s an explosive swimmer, I have nothing but respect for her and I think the next best thing to qualifying myself is to have such a talented swimmer like Jozenna up there competing her heart out,” Channrayapatra said following the heats.

But Channarayapatra failing to qualify wasn’t the only surprise of the day in Beretanian swimming. Both David Palomo and Agustus Walsh qualified in the men’s 400m individual medley. Palomo qualified in third with a time of 4:17.43, and Walsh qualified in tenth with a time of 4:21.29. And Johanna Juarez snuck her way into the semifinal of the women’s 100m butterfly by qualifying in thirteenth with a time of 1:00.52. Not many expected any of these results, but the sting of Channarayapatra failing to qualify was widely felt across Unified Beretania.

Neither Carissa Best or Jennifer Wing qualified in the women’s 400m individual medley heats as expected.

Elsewhere at the Games, Unified Beretania had a moderate day in men’s archery, their highest ranking archer being Zackary Brown, ranked in thirteenth. Team wise, Beretania is ranked tenth.

On the women’s side, Jamie Na finished the ranking round in ninth, Lo Jiang Li in thirteenth, and Christa Chang in fifteenth. Team wise, Unified Beretania is ranked third behind the Fujisawan Territories and Allanea.

On matchday one of women’s basketball, Unified Beretania fell to Kelssek, 78-61.

In the men’s cycling road race won by Fran Ventoso of Sorthern Northland, Rosco Pickens was the best finisher for Unified Beretania, coming in eighth, with a time of 5:42:44. Jerrel Lawson finished in sixteenth at 5:44:20, and Felix Boone didn’t finish the race.

From the Series "COC List Stars for Columbia":

http://img174.imageshack.us/img174/9389/fs2is0.jpg (http://imageshack.us) http://img521.imageshack.us/img521/6132/fsgk4.jpg (http://imageshack.us)
COC List Stars - Fernanda Serrano (Gymnastics)

And now we return to talk about our best athletes in these Olympic Games. Now, we go to our fourth name, of a person that impresses the world with acrobatic and gracious moves. The one who is arguably the best gymnast of Cafundéu: Fernanda Serrano. Born in Guará, this 20-year old woman is succesfull in her sport, both inside her country and internationally. She has already won many titles, especially in her two signature events: the floor and the balance beam. In the floor, she is probably the favourite to win, performing the Serrano jump, one that she created.

Competing since she was fourteen (not young but not old too for Cafundéu standards), she became the reference in the sport for the Cafundelenses, and is one of the athletes that have the highest number of loyal supporters, that watch her everytime that she is competing, cheering for her. Serrano has a big responsibility, as Cafundéu sent a strong team to these olympics and she is a vital part of this team. She must do a good job in all the apparatus to help the team, while she hopes to make good performances on the floor, balance beam (and hopeful the vault too) in the individual competition.

About the event, she told the press: "I'm a bit nervous, but this will pass in the right time. I'm confident that my performance will be good like in the trainings, and I can't wait to show to all my supporters that we are here for the medals." About her opponents, she said: "Yes, there are many. Especially Ariddia... but not only them, lots of other countries sent talented girls to these Olympic Games. Well, that is another reason for us to do a good job, as our opponents surely will." Fernanda is aware of the importance of her partners too: "We are like a family."

That's true. Fernanda isn't alone. There are other 5 top Cafundelense gymnasts competing in Columbia too, each with their own specialities: the blonde and talkative Angélica Muniz Ramires (floor and balance beam too), the serious-looking Ana Beatriz Lima (floor and vault), the short-haired and short Cecília Castro Jimenez (uneven bars and balance beam), the ever-smiling Laura Fessoto (vault) and the somewhat arrogant Natália Veloso (uneven bars). All of them will fight for medals, and will have to defeat each other in the individual events.

In the other gymnastic competitions, Cafundéu has excellent chances in the women rhythmic gymnastic, with Jaqueline Isidoro and Letícia França leading the team with beautiful movements. In the trampoline, Luana Sanchez (women competition) and Renato Fischer (men competition) are there too. In the artistic male gymnastic, Cafundéu has an average team, with not good chances of getting medals. The country didn't send male rhythmic gymnasts (there are male rhythmic gymnasts? Never heard of that! We should start training some new gymnasts for that!)

- GLOBO MULTIMEDIA -
Olympic news in our website!

First two days results for Cafundéu:

Football (men's) - the Monopolists failed to produce a good result and drew with Taeshan, 1x1.

Football (women's) - the Consumerists (as the women football team is called) had a horrible display in the first game against Asteran (lost by 3-2), but recovered with a win against Maineiacs (3-0).

Badminton - in the sport known as Badminton (or "Peteca with a racket", as the sport is sometimes called in humorous tone in Cafundéu), the Cafundelenses impressed and won their first games, by good results

Handball (women's) - a consistent performance of the Cafundelenses, defeating Jasīʼyūn by 28-24.

Judo - for the women, Larissa lost in her first fight against Ashton, and had to see a doctor from the Landau Institute getting the gold medal. But, among the men, Ligeirinho was superb and won the gold medal, the first of Cafundéu in these Olympic Games! The victory came after he defeated David Santa Cruz from Krytenia in the final.

Lacrosse - our team lost (to West Pocono, 9-3), but you probably already knew that. After a comment from one of our players ("I've just learned how to play this sport! It was last week!"), it is a fact that our team isn't good.

Volleyball (women's) - the expected result, as the Cafundelenses defeated Maineiacs, although they lost a set. Daniela Zaad and Nathy played very well.

Water Polo (women's) - loss against Gerainia (7-5).

Weightlifting - nothing good to comment.

Archery - the initial round was the place for a good performance by the Cafundelense men, who are near the top of the standings. But, for the women, things weren't so good, although that's just the start of this competition.

Basketball (women's) - victory against Nuevos Aires (74-58).

Cycling - Leonardo Borges made a huge mess during the competition and destroyed the medal chances of many competitors. He'll surely be fined by the Olympics organizators, by the COC itself and will be sued by other athletes. And he deserves it.

Fencing - Ana Luiza Prado was one of the favourites to win the gold medal in the women's sabre competition, but she lost in the semfinals and had to be happy with just the bronze medal.

Shooting - nothing good to comment too.

Swimming - mixed results, more bad than good ones. Natália Prado and Miguel Navarro made some good results, but there are three events where Cafundéu didn't qualify a single swimmer, something that wasn't expected.

Inside the Landau Institute (recognized by the Olympic Commitee as the truly participant of the Olympic Games instead of the country Estresse Intenso - LID, the three-letter code of the Institute, means "Landau Institute Doctors"), some doctors dared Professor Pedro Mestrado of predicting how many medals would the Institute win during the games. So, the best gynecologist of the place started to make the calculations that would point an approximate number for an answer. Of course, that answer probably wouldn't be the correct one, as these are just predictions, but these calculations would get close to the correct number. When the Professor was reaching the final steps of his calculations, someone called him.

Professor Pedro Mestrado had to meet a patient with urgency, as she, pregnant, was having problems with her baby. He had to leave his calculations to help the poor woman, and abandoned them. So, we'll never know the predicted amount of medals that the Landau Institute will win during these Olympic Games.

On other news, the Landau Institute badminton players started well in the competition... Doctor Jennifer Hippo was even praised: "They said that my name was nice... were they really sincere?" Some said that they just praised her because of her... well... her "physical attributes". The Landau Institute also had good performances in shooting.

But the real top performance of the Landau Institute was of the judoca (judo fighter) Cecília Moura, a young Pulmonologist. She defeated Chan Yi from Secristan to be able to get the gold medal, and to hear for the first time in these Olympics the "Doctors' Oath", the official anthem of the Landau Institute (which says "to not make medical mistakes", "to not operate the wrong leg or arm", "to treat the patients like any sick person" and other nice things).

The Federal Socialist Republic of Sariats was not expecting a medal at the Games. It did after all only send a team of three athletes. Not to mention those athletes had no proper facilities to train in and most had to fundraise to make a trip to the Capital city so they could even go to the Olympics

Leo Mensiini was the Sarviats only swimmer in the team. He trained at the beach swimming in the ocean! Now he gave great hope of bringing the Sarviat Team a medal when he Qualified with the fastest time in the Men's 100m breast stroke heats of 1.01.32

"Everyone here suspects he will bring home a medal and are very proud" said Markus Auralio the new leader of the FSRS
.................................................................................................... ...

From MSPN--


Not much good news to report this evening. Let's take a look at how our team fared

Archery:

Harrison Murphy is 5th after the ranking round, and could challenge for a medal. David Schultz is 24th, and Aristide Poisson is 44th. The team is currently 7th. For the Women, Beth Parker is 5th, Katherine Timmins is 18th, and Maria Delgado is 54th. The team is 10th.

Soccer:

Our Women's team lost to Cafundéu (don't we always?) 3-0.

Basketball:

Our Women's team beat West Pocono handily, by a score of 88-67.

Boxing:

Leonard Kight received a first round bye in the Men's Light Heavyweight class.

Cycling:

Frits Schuyler experienced mechanical trouble with his bicycle in the Men's Road Race, and did not finish.

Judo:

Junichiro Matsudo lost his quarterfinal match in the Men's 60kg class to Junichi Kishimoto of Secristan, then lost to Jeffrey Aunson of Kelssek in the first round of the Repêchage. Sayuri Kaede lost her bronze medal match to Jean Callo of Kura-Pelland.

Swimming:

Evan Macgregor qualified in Men's 400m Freestyle, Sean O’Reilly qualified in Men's 100m Breaststroke, but Davis Morton failed to qualify in the 400m IM, while Kirsten Foster did not qualify in the Women's 400m Freestyle, Kathy Hacker did not qualify in the Women's 100m Butterfly, and our relay team did not qualify for the Women's 4x100m Freestyle Relay, but Betsy Kelleher did qualify in the Women's 400m IM.

(ooc: Hold The Freaking Press!

Why is Qazox Not In Either Association Football Tourney?

I Was The First To Post Rosters And They Are The 1st Athletes I Have Posted.)

I Demand A Replay Of The Group Stages.

PROOF: http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13823805&postcount=3 and http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13823857&postcount=2

Espcially the Women's Football, seeing as we're the FIRST GOLD MEDALISTS!

AND NO I'm not gonna settle for ICly: The paperwork was lost.

GREEN WOMBAT Olympic Update

A good day in the for the Wombats in the water today, as multiple athletes qualified for the next round in multiple events.

SWIMMING RESULTS (semifinalists in BOLD):

Men’s 400 m Freestyle—Heats:
Eric Monge: 3:53.21 (16th)
Walter Bergstrom: 4:00.43

Men’s 100 m Breaststroke—Heats:
Eric Hines: 1:02.07 (2nd)
Jack Havens: 1:03.96

Men’s 400 m Individual Medley—Heats:
Clayton Easterly: 4:23.84 (16th)
Fred Valenzuela: 4:27.62

Women’s 400 m Freestyle—Heats:
Erica Markel: 4:16.47
Audrey Mohamed: 4:20.06

Women’s 100 m Butterfly—Heats:
Ruby Lindell: 59.35 (1st)
Alberta Bechtel: 1:05.40

Women’s 400 m Individual Medley—Heats:
Jenny Messina: 4:39.38 (1st)
Audrey Wallace: 4:45.87 (13th)

Women’s 4×100 m Freestyle Relay—Heats:
(Wagstaff/Seng/Mohamed/Markel): 3:41.98 (4th)

Prux's Olympic Blog

Took long enough, and I'm not talking about the 6 hour long opening ceremony, or the 2-hour tour of the facilities earlier today, but to finally get a result from one of our 4 teams.

And our Women's basketball team, who have an outside chance at a medal, won against Valanora in a low scoring affair 65-61. Caroyln Fierra lead Prux with 21 points and 9 rebounds, with Adrien Gerhauser adding 15 points and 10 assists.

Score by Quarter:

Prux 18-20-11-16--65
Valanora 13-17-19-12--61

Day 08–10 A results are now up (part 1 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13910364&postcount=4) · part 2 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13910365&postcount=5)). (delayed in part due to Jolt…)

Why is Qazox Not In Either Association Football Tourney?
And this, kids, is why you should never put rosters in the middle of your signup. :p

I’ll add them to group G of the men’s tournament and group E of the women’s tournament, with the following fixtures:

Men’s Matchday 2 (08–10 B): Qazox–Wentland
Men’s Matchday 2.5 (08–12 B): Asteran–Qazox
Men’s Matchday 3 (08–13 B): Jasīʼyūn–Qazox

Women’s Matchday 2.5 (08–10 B): Candelaria And Marquez–Qazox, Qazox–Sorthern Northland
Women’s Matchday 3 (08–12 B): Gerainia–Qazox

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OLYMPIC REPORT PODCAST - AUGUST 10, 2008

http://media.switchpod.com/users/kelssek/olympicreport20080810.mp3

Apologies for the horribly mangled names.

"How many rounds today? Gah. We are ATHLETES, not some mere striplings to be trifled with."

"Mrs Lonergan..."

"MRS?" laughed Siobhan Fogarty. "Who do you think would marry THAT?"

Kate Lonergan bristled. "Shut up, just cos I don't whore myself out to anyone with an oar."

"It was only ONCE! And he was cute. Just cos Little Miss Virgin gets less action than the sprog."

Kellie Bright was not paying attention. She was absorbed in an Olympic mascot. "Are we shooting yet? Are we shooting yet? Are we shooting yet? I want to shoot something! That big bad monster might get Mr Bun!"

"Oh God, someone feed the baby. We might be shooting something soon, we're trying to find out. Now go and get your windypops."

Kellie Bright poked her tongue out. "Jealous because I won the goldy at the last champthing? Never mind, Gerry Giraffe doesn't mind."

"Shut up. Now, Mr Chief, we have to take part in THREE rounds today?"

"Well, they're trying to get to the semis, so if you keep winning, yes, three rounds. But there might be a bye in the first."

"Hope there is. I could do with a lie-in."

"Why's that, See-owe-ban? Been a bit late with the cox again?"

***

"End number fifteen..."

"We've won this already. I'm off for a drinkie."

With that, Siobhan Fogarty left the lists. "Hey, if she can go, I'm going too," claimed Kate Lonergan, leaving Kellie Bright alone to face the final three shots from Jasīʼyūn.

"Hey! Hang on! What if they get 30 from their three shots?"

Lonergan shouted back. "They won't, they couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo."

Fogarty heard and yelled. "You'd know about cow's arses, wouldn't you? Every time you look in the mirror..."

"RIGHT!!! That's IT..."

Lonergan ran after Fogarty and Kellie Bright was on her own, almost apologetic. And the Jasīʼyūn archers were furious at the criticism.

"Ten! Ten! Ten! Jasīʼyūn score 30! They draw level with Wentland!"

Suddenly Kellie Bright had one shot to secure passage into the semi-final. "Oh, golly gosh, it's a REALLY big monster this time..."

Fortunately Bright transfixed the inner bull with her one arrow and Wentland were ten points to the good. "Semis!!! Whooooo!!!!"

OLYMPIC ROCKET REPORT

SHOOTOUT LEADS TO TWO MEDALS

Columbia, Unified Capitalizt States- It wasn’t the first event that came to mind when the Olympics began, but last night it became the first event in which the Empire recorded it’s first ever medal, getting both a gold and a silver in the event. In the 10m Air Pistol, Tom Parsons defeated Nick Henderson in a thrilling shootout to determine which of the two would win the first ever gold medal in an Olympiad of this stature for the Empire. Parsons will be able to say that he was that person. “The magnitude of that really never sunk in during the shootout, that it was for the Empire’s first ever gold. I never came to Columbia looking to have a legacy for myself. I don’t do this professionally, really, as a full time member of the Putnam Lake Police Department. I thought I could do well but to win a gold, and then to say it was the first ever for the Empire, is just something that’s going to take a while to sink in. I am so honored.” At the beginning of the Olympics, every nation talks about their athletes that they are bringing and some may provide for a great story, and those in Columbia paying very good money to attend these events know that they will see some special moments, like the ones in the opening ceremony that were displayed, perhaps maybe one of them was witnessed here tonight. Newmanistan brought many high profile athletes to Columbia, but the one taking the first ever medal, is a full time member of law enforcement, and he does so in a shootout against countryman Nick Henderson, also a policeman. Some stories you just can’t make up, because they develop out of no where. Such is the case with Parsons. In a future article we will give you a profile of Parsons, as we know that he isn’t really well known outside of the PLPD. As for Henderson, he was pleased with his silver, “It’s nice to win a silver medal, be on the podium, and still hear your national anthem get played,” he said.

Now, for a look at the other events that took place on this evening, starting with team events. Our ladies took to the pitch for a match against Jasi’yun, and with fans of the host nation leading their team on, the Rockets put forth a fantastic effort. Scoring a goal in the 21st minute, they overcame a late charge by the opponent, and salvaged a 1-1 draw out of the match. Both teams appeared to be satisfied with the performance while each knowing that more work will need to be done. Reporter Clint Peterson, who was at the match, said of it, “The two teams played their style of match, and I think both did what they sought out to do. There was a lot of support out here for the home team, and overall our ladies did a great job of playing through it. They have positioned themselves now for a critical match against a nation we’ve seen a few lately.” Their next game against Kura-Pelland will decide who gets to advance out of Group F. Jasi’yun will be hoping for a scoreless draw......... Moving to the hardwood, the ladies won their opening match against Kosovoe 75-61. Kosovoe did not shoot well early in the match, and the Rockets pull away pretty early. Our Jason Richards reports, “The defensive pressure of the Rockets was really strong in the first half, as they held the opponent to just 27% shooting from the floor. This allowed Newmanistan to take an early advantage, and it was a rather comfortable second half. Kosovoe never was able to mount a large comeback effort.” The Fujisawan Territories were victorious in the other Group Match.

The highlight of the individual events was indeed swimming, where the “Aquatic Rockets” looked to assert themselves as one of the top national forces in the pool. Leading the way would be Jennifer Conlin as she got started for the first time. But what we may have saw instead, is the skill level of everyone else. In the Men’s 400m Freestyle, Ron Harris was the lone qualifier, finishing 8th overall with a time of 3:51.80. “Not terribly happy with that,” Harris later told us. Matt Clemons was 20th and did not qualify. The 100m Breaststroke saw all sixteen of it’s qualifiers be from nations other then the Empire. Clemons, 18th, said that, “It’s frustrating not to qualify for both events, but you just have to take it as it comes, and train extra hard so that next time, you can make it.” The 400m Individual Medley did have one Aquatic Rocket qualify, and that was Tom Jackman, who was 8th, but still 4 seconds off the pace of top qualifier Miguel Navarro’s time. “Navarro’s going to be tough, but don’t count out those guys from the Bluth Corporation, after I got out of the pool, they seemed to be very happy with the way in which they performed. I’ll just go out there tomorrow and do my best.” Over on the female side, Kara Brannon had a fantastic qualifying effort, finishing 3rd overall, with a time of 4:09.45 in the 400m Freestyle. She still needs to make up 2 seconds on frontrunner Jozenna Nai of the Fujisawan Territories, but she felt good that she would be able to do exactly that. “I swam well. There was a tremendous current though coming from behind Elga o Longwater, though that made it a little tough to be in the lane right beside her, (as she wiped what appeared to be fur off her goggles), but it was fun, and I hope to medal tomorrow. Kara’s good day continued when she also finished 4th in the 400m Individual Medley Qualifying, “The one, not having to be beside a bear, was a little easier,” she joked. In that event, countrymate Caitlin Geraghty was also able to qualify, something she did not do in the Freestyle. She finished the day in tenth. The 100m Butterfly also saw both Aquatic Rockets advance out of the heat, but both Courtney Anglin (12th) and Meghan Johnstone (16th) will probably need to pick it up a bit if they want to contend for a medal. They have it in them, and seem to be pretty confident that they will be able to do so. In the 4x100m Freestyle Relay, Jennifer Conlin led the team to a second place finish behind our regionmates from Secristan. They should be able to build on that. Shouldn’t they? We’ll soon find out.

Passing through the other events, Archery wasn’t expected to be a sport with much Newmanistan impact, and things are living up to form. Capitalizt SLANI was the most impressive nation on the men’s side and both Allanea and the Fujisawan Territories were in the ladies side in these events........ Kevin Scott suffered an embarassing loss to Pierre Fourgenor in the first round of the Men’s Light Heavyweight boxing competition. Scott, expecting to be a medal threat is now eliminated, and that must make the rest of the Light Heavyweights pretty happy. Scott refused to comment after the loss, other then to call it embarrassing. There was a report that perhaps he did a little too much partying the night before, and took Fourgenor way too lightly....... Neither Jeff Kennedy nor John Vinson could finish Cycling’s Men’s Road Race as Fran Ventoso of Sorthern Northland won a gold........ And finally, Newmanistan had no one who had advanced into the evening’s judo and fencing events.

That concludes the late edition of Day 1 Olympic Events. Highlights for the AM Day 2 edition will be the Women’s 4x100m Freestyle Relay as Jennifer Conlin and company search for their first medal. Be watching as they try to make it happen, as it is just one of several events in the pool. Also, we’ll see some Handball against the hosts, and Equestrian as the Dressage kicks off! Fencing and shooting, and much, much more! (OOC: Doing some catchup and will post this report later today)

Apologies for the horribly mangled names.
OC: you deserve majorest kudos for this - and hey, if *ahem* certain people insist on using conlang orthographies, we cannot expect you to learn all of those by heart ;)
(For optimistic future reference, the x in Baranxtu is for the IPA [x] of German, and the c in Cikoutimi is an English ch.)

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August 10, 2008 - Eye of Baranxtu online edition

BCO shines golden-silver-bronze

Columbia, Unified Capitalizt States - After nerve-racking but ultimately fruitless performances during the first days of the Third Olympic Games, the BCO delegation turned the tables and won four medals during Sunday morning's competitions.

Baranxtuan Nayani B-tu Kimbehāŋi finished first with a time of 3:43.59s in the 400m Freestyle. Shortly afterwards, Mourize Janne (4:11.05s) and Marjel Taron (4:12.42s) finished first and second in the 400m Individual Medley, putting the two Cikoutimians on the winner's podium.

After only barely qualifying for the finals, the 4x100m Freestyle Relay team of Raniya D-tu Hempara, Iŋana A-tu Mehirga, Tikati Mehoke and Kantena Teheni made a stunning comeback and secured a bronze medal in the finals with a time of 3:38.59s. Says Mehirga, "I am so beyond happy; after missing the medley finals, this is unbelievable. I just hope we can repeat our performance during the medley relay!"
A hope no doubt shared by her teammates and many Baranxtuans, Cikoutimians and Oteans after the four managed to win the silver medal in the 4x100m Medley Relay during the First Olympic Games.

However, today is not over yet - the afternoon will bring the Individual Épée's finals (Atara, Puroma and Trenc made it into the quarterfinals) and a number of heats in swimming, which many Baranxtuans regard as their national sport.

Another highly anticipated event is the first round of boxing in the welterweight category, in which Harri Virtanen - one of Baranxtu's most prolific and popular boxers - will compete against some of the world's finest.

---

"YOU WON!"

"I... I did, didn't I?"

"Hell yeah!"

"And you... scored silver?"

A big grin spread over Marjel's face. "Yeah man, check it out." He held his medal up, as if he'd just spent the last fifteen minutes practicing how to make the light reflect off of it juuust right. Which he may have very well done.

"Congratulations... at least now I don't have to feel bad for beating you during the heats." Nayani gave the Cikoutimian a mischievous smile.

"Aw, shut up!" Marjel boxed Nayani's shoulder lightly. "Or I'll break that."

"So, where's Mourize?"

Marjel pointed over to Marjel, who stood next to a gorgeous Cikoutimian swimmer Nayani didn't know the name of. "Well, he's chatting up Souzanne. He probably thinks with a shiny piece of medal around his neck he'll have better chances or something."

"Does he?"

"Hmm, you didn't hear it from me, but rumor has it she's seeing someone on the delegation - one of the boxers."

"Maybe you should warn him... AYO, MOURIZE, C'MERE!"

Mourize looked somewhat embarrassed over to the two of them, hastily said goodbye to Souzanne and scrambled over to his swimmer colleagues. "What?" he asked curtly.

"I just wanted to congratulate you on your gold, man! That was an excellent show!"

"Heh, thanks man... oh, and congratulation on - "

At this moment, the loudspeaker announced the results of the Women's 4x100m Freestyle Relay.

“…NCHES AWAY FROM THE LINE… And he TOUCHES IN FIRST!”

“Incredible stuff!”

“Absolutely incredible, only this boy knows where he’s finding this from, once again smashing his personal best; Marco Antonio Gabriel de Anda wins the second heat, Þalhaśi Humðilritu Zilpati comes in second, and I think,” Joseph Nelson raises his voice again to drown out the sobs of several foreign commentators, “that gives that pair the top two times from the semi-finals ahead of tomorrow’s final.”

“Fully six tenths of a second ahead of Le Mensiini from the first semi…”

“Well! I’m genuinely speechless. Completely unexpected, and C&M might actually have a genuine medal hope in the pool tomorrow.”

“Eric Hines, I’ve just noticed, hasn’t qualified after that second strong semi… But you’ve got to say, Joe, the Secristani pair… we’re just watching Larry Ferrin on the turn here… so to speak…the Secristani pair were among the favourites before the Games and you’ve still got to wonder what they’ve got left.”

“Just over a second down on the Marquez swimmer, though… But yes, two swimmers hoping to make the final of the four hundred medley coming up in a moment, they’re such a strong debutant team. However, let’s not detract from Marco Antonio’s performance here, a huge new national record, through to his first final. And he’s not alone, of course, Ornella Albano already through to her final tomorrow evening. It does show that our guys and girls are capable of competing at this level… And heavens, we’ve got a lot to look forward to tomorrow. Keenan, back to you in the studio.”

“Thanks Joe, we’ll be straight back to the pool in a moment, but let’s take a quick butcher’s at today’s headlines…”

Unnecessary swoosh

“Marco Antonio Gabriel de Anda posts the leading time in the one hundred metre breastroke semi-finals to make tomorrow last eight, but Leo Mensiini of the Sarvants is hot on his heels… Ornella Albano was the sixth fastest qualifier in the women’s four-hundred freestyle and also notches up a final, but there’s disappointment for Georgina Naylor, whose poor time in the one hundred butterfly left her sixteenth overall… The Bee-See-Oh have the first swimming medal of the day, Nayani Balakitu Kimbehāŋi winning the men’s four-hundred freestyle by more than a second…”

Unnecessary swoosh

“Mixed fortunes for C&M today in the badminton. Matt Frog and María Núñez sailed on through with hugely impressive victories, but Walt Kirbishley and Bianca Chalk are out – Cleal Beck’s Chalk swept imperiously aside by the pesky Maineiac Pakpao Adulyadej. Pearce Pedotti is through in three after an incredible tussle with… with… after an incredible tussle, we’ll hopefully bring you some edited highlights of the clash in a little while… She’ll then be going with Korey Jardine a little later in the mixed doubles, but Matt Fogg’s already provided his second win of the day, alongside a rejuvenated Holly Richards, while the youngsters from Lower Wessaxontown, Marks and Jackson edged out the Krytenian pair of Bobbie and Gayle…”

Increasingly annoying swoosh

“Nothing doing for the C&M men’s gymnastics team… Zenith Wang’s 9.7 on the uneven bars was the highlight, but he too fails to make the individual final… It’s up to the girls to somehow save Candelariasian honour this afternoon…”

Yeah-already-we-get-the-idea swooshy-noise

“It was all Greek to us in the judo, but not for too long – Albrecht’s Michaelis Dimitriou taking out home favourite Márkos Athanasiádou with the early ippon to make the quarter-finals…

“Alright, the first of the tennis coming up in… ooh, about twenty minutes. But I’d say it’s time for some bocce, wouldn’t you?”

A Team and A Dream. The Story of the Taeshan Olympic Team

Winners and Losers

Winners

Overall today was the best so far inthe Olympics at Columbia, Capitalizt Slani. First off in Badmiton Smithy Forrester did not win, but he showed great additude by cheering for his teammates he had gotten a by to the second round. In Womens singles Nicole Reilly stunned everyone by also winning over Sahoko somethingorother from somewhere. After losing to her in the first set. In Volleyball the Mens team killed the Fujisiwan Territories 25-4, 25-6, and 25-6 in three straight sets to slaughter the young FJT team. They beat them by a combined score of 75-16 wow. Sullivan Riachuin, and Jeff rollings each led the team with 13 Kills. William Forchin led the team of the bench with 7.

Some of the Mens Artistic Gymastics teams got into the winning spirit also with Brandon Wissenger qualifying for the Beam finals. Wich men don't compete in in Taeshan(or america), and Mike Knubell stunned with his performance on Rings qualifying for the final there. Finally in Water Polo the Water Knights defeated the youngteam from Baranxtu Cikoutimi, and Otea 4-8 in a low scoring affair witch the Knights easily one behind top scorer Freddy Hitlar with 4 goals.

Losers

Then there are the losers those cheap SO*. The Badmiton team lost both its members that didn't get a bye. Alan Joker fell to Matt Fogg, while Michael Boldrewood defeated the young Aaron Green. And the mens Handball team lost a shocker to Kelssek 27-22. This is shocking because Taeshan is one of the few teams in the world to have a national handball League. Weird.

(this is OOC)

CH, the limit in the gymnastics finals of max 2 gymnasts per country (in each event, as it happens in RL) doesn't apply in the NS Olympics?

Day 08–10 A results are now up (part 1 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13910364&postcount=4) · part 2 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13910365&postcount=5)). (delayed in part due to Jolt…)


And this, kids, is why you should never put rosters in the middle of your signup. :p

I’ll add them to group G of the men’s tournament and group E of the women’s tournament, with the following fixtures:

Men’s Matchday 2 (08–10 B): Qazox–Wentland
Men’s Matchday 2.5 (08–12 B): Asteran–Qazox
Men’s Matchday 3 (08–13 B): Jasīʼyūn–Qazox

Women’s Matchday 2.5 (08–10 B): Candelaria And Marquez–Qazox, Qazox–Sorthern Northland
Women’s Matchday 3 (08–12 B): Gerainia–Qazox

(ooc: Thank you)

From the Series "COC List Stars for Columbia":

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COC List Stars - Miguel Navarro and Natália Franco (Swimming)

We, the editors of this magazine (we'll repeat until it'll reach the point when you'll never be able to forget us), are a bit late in making this article. After all, the swimming competition has already started, medals were already awarded, and our swimmers started to fail. But this isn't the point. The point is that we must praise our good athletes and introduce them to the world. That's why we'll talk about Miguel Navarro and Natália Franco, even if them have already participated in most of their events.

Miguel Navarro is the top Cafundelense freestyle swimmer. His speed in the national competitions is impressive, and he played in some minor international events. The Olympic Games will be the first major international event for him, and he still has medal chances. He failed in the individual medley event, finishing only fourth, but there are more events in which he participates, and the Cafundelenses are hoping for medals. If he'll get them, only time will tell, as this isn't an easy job.

But the Monopolists don't have just Miguel Navarro in the swimming team. Vítor Campo Belo, for example, is a very experienced swimmer, who can also make good results for Cafundéu. Another strong athlete is Heitor Veras, unbeatable in national level in the backstroke. He has already won some international competitions in the backstroke too, but the Olympic Games will be his toughest challenge. Many people have more faith in the backstroke with Heitor Veras than in the freestyle with Miguel Navarro.

About Natália Franco, she is more famous than Navarro at international level, but many believe that she doesn't have the same talented as Miguel. Franco started early in swimming, and her experience can help her. But her speed isn't at the same level of Miguel's (she's slower), although her technique seems perfect. She finished fourth in the individual medley too, but her ability in the freestyle events can be decisive and can earn her a medal (she finished 1st in the semifinals of the 400m freestyle). Other competitors have already warned the press about her talent.

And, of course, the same situation that happens in the male swimming team gets repeated in the female one too. Cafundéu doesn't have just Natália Franco to count on. Sarah Le Pascal, for example, is still fighting for medals in the butterfly style, and will do the same in the backstroke. Vanessa Alves is good in the breaststroke, and Jennifer Assunção is an expert in long events. All of them will have to defeat strong opponents from many other nations, but they have the ability to do this.

QSPN.com/OLYMPIC COVERAGE

There was a misunderstanding earlier today as somehow, despite the QOC beign the first to submit a roster, both the men's and women's football teams were mistakenly left off the schedule; but the teams were listed as competitiors. So over the next 36 hours, both teams will be playing 3 matches, which could put their medal hopes in jeopardy.

But on to other events.

Team Handball (Men):

In the international debut for Qazox in this event, the men got their first ever win, a 38-26 win over Landau Institute, lead by Clinton Villavicencio's 11 goals.

SCORE SUMMARY
Landau Institute 15 11 26
Qazox 20 18 38

Qazox Goals:
Clinton Villavicencio: 11
Christian Jowett: 8
Hugh Lafon: 8
Cody Parkey: 4
Kurt Curtis: 4


Water Polo—Men’s:
For the first time in 8 years, the Men's Water Polo team qualified for the Olympics, and unlike the first games, they won a mtach, 8-4 over Kosovoe.

SCORE SUMMARY
Kosovoe 1 1 2 0 4
Qazox 2 1 2 3 8

Qazox Goals:
Bruce Lanham: 4
Howard Romero: 2
Luis O'Keefe: 1
Danny Baptiste: 1

Stay tuned to QSPN, QSPN2, QSPNOcho, and QSPNInternational for live coverage of every Qazoxian event, and tune into QSPN.com for 24/7 live streaming video for any competition.

As there is no separate discussion thread, and I need to make this OOC announcement, I am going to do it right here:

I, personally, have a STRONG DISLIKE to the use of real world pictures in NS roleplays. This seems to be becoming a very popular thing in this thread, so I am hereby asking EVERYONE that is you are going to use such a picture, I want no NEWMANISTAN athlete in the background. An example of this would be you win the gold, we win the silver. If you post a picture of your athlete winning, I do not want to see a second place finisher in the background that does not represent our country.

Please respect this. This is MAJOR ISSUE to me. Thanks.

Computer generated images are fine as long as we are in our proper sky blue and white attire.

COLUMBIA GAMES
Ad’ihan begin Olympic competition with water polo win

Members of the Ad’ihani delegation to the Games of the III Olympiad in Columbia, Bedistan saw their first action today as the men's water polo team thrashed Cafundéu 11-5 in pool play.

The match, which marked Ad’ihan's first-ever Olympic appearance, took place in front of a crowd of over 6,000, which included the Ad’ihani president Josh Randall and Deputy Prime Minister Philippe Dubois. They were treated to sixteen goals, courtesy of some attacking water polo from the Ad’ihanis.

Starting goalkeeper and team captain Jake Sands, who was in inspired form and only conceded two of the five goals, admitted that the pressure of it being Ad’ihan's first-ever Olympic appearance inspired the team to play harder. "Definitely, that propelled us to do our best — harder than many of us have ever played before," he said.

With no athletics events expected until later in the week, the nation's attention has definitely been captured by the water-polo team. However, they will need this attention to shift away from them so they can focus on their group, with the tennis competition expected to begin soon.

GREEN WOMBAT Olympic Update

After yesterday's good day, today reality set in, as our swimming team just missed out on advancing in a few events, but we still ahve a couple of chances for medals. Considering this is the first foray for us in the Olympics, we've done well so far.

SWIMMING RESULTS (Finalists in BOLD):

Men’s 400 m Freestyle—Semifinals:
Eric Monge: 4:02.99

Men’s 100 m Breaststroke—Semifinals:
Eric Hines: 1:03.48

Men’s 400 m Individual Medley—Semifinals:
Clayton Easterly: 4:17.56 (3rd)

Men’s 400 m Individual Medley—Finals:
Clayton Easterly: 4:19.23 8th


Women’s 100 m Butterfly—Semifinal:
Ruby Lindell: 58.60 (1st)


Women’s 400 m Individual Medley—Semifinals:
Audrey Wallace: 4:45.53
Jenny Messina: 4:58.70

Women’s 4×100 m Freestyle Relay—Final:
(Wagstaff/Seng/Mohamed/Markel): 3:40.52 5th

Prux's Olympic Blog

Our best hope for an Olympic medal, our Water Polo team started its hopeful march to gold with a 7-5 win over Bears Armed.

Score by Quarter:

Prux 1-2-1-3--7
Bears Armed 2-2-1-0--5

So far 2 matches, 2 events, and 2 wins for the Prux delegation.

The Gun and Ball
Allanea's Sports Magazine

Allanea's spectacular failure in everything concerning team sports is near-legendary now, and we speculate that not even the teams themelves expect to win while traveling to the Olympics. This lack of team sports is in part due to the treatment of these sports by the large corporations and charities in this country.

For years, Allanea's educational establishment – which in this country means the key education companies, education experts in universities, and the corporations that donate money to those projects that these experts recommend – has generally seen team sports, and especially the Olympic variety of them, as not conducive to the spirit of individualism that they wanted to foster and defend in Allanea. This has also been compounded by resentment at the FSP invasion of Allanea, wherein the “Sentient Peoples” attempted to force team sports on the Allanean school system.

These factors have allowed the various team sports – soccer, basketball, and hockey, for example – to remain neglected in Allanea. The exceptions, of course, were football (due to its spectacular and slightly violent nature), baseball (due to its comparatively individualistic nature and roots Old American heritage), and the various team combatives – specifically Airsoft and Paintball, which are not Olympic sports, of course.

In these Olympics, however, the United States is so far also getting solidly trounced in the various individual sports. While this is only the beginning of the Olympics, we at the Gun and Bat are beginning to get worried about the implications that this may have.

Could it be possible, perhaps, that we have put too many eggs in the individual-sports basket?

More medal joy for Kura-Pelland as Fred Porritt takes bronze in an exciting road race. As seems to be the trend in the Tour de Qazox, the peloton was rapidly broken apart, several crashes proving particularly influential with many retirements as a result, but Porritt held on and while unable to match the breakaway of Fran Vantoso, he was in the middle of a three-man sprint finish for the minor medals.

Much of the action that people have talked about has been in the pool, but as expected Kura-Pellandi representation there has been symbolic at best, though there were a couple who came close to making their semi-finals.

The mens' water polo team got their gold medal bid under way with an 8-3 defeat of the corporate team of Secristan. Kelssek, reigning champions, were less comfortable in beating the Fujisawan Territories 9-6. Philippa Carlton won her wheelchair fencing opening round clash with Jaseuyeon's Paula Turner by the comprehensive margin of 15-3, and is now marked out as a possible favourite in this demonstration event. Also in demonstration events, Kura-Pelland were knocked out of the womens' bocce by a pair from Wentland, but this was not a fate that befell Darren Lindfield and Ciara McAuley, who cruised their way to the second round of the mixed doubles in badminton with a 21-12 21-8 victory over Wentland's Martin Eden and Emma Gayle. McAuley also won her opening singles match 21-16 21-13 over Newmanistan's Melinda Oliverra.

Baranxtu, Cikoutimi, and Otea are the surprise medal table leaders with two golds and one of each other colour, all in the pool and including a one-two in the mens' 400m individual medley. Their handball team drew 25-25 with Kura-Pelland.

Hoji Metropolitan Daily Record Online
Nai brings Fujisawans their first medal, a gold

Coulmbia, UCS - In the women’s 400m individual medley, Jozenna Nai was third overall after heats, qualifying for the semifinal, in which she finished second. When it really counted though, in the final, Nai finished first for the Fujisawan Territories’ first Olympic medal ever, a gold.

Rachel Orton of Secristan, won silver, and Jessica Langton of Kelssek won bronze.

In winning gold, Nai finished with a time of 4:35.90, almost a full two seconds ahead of Orton.

“I’m speechless. This is a dream come true for me in so many ways. I just don’t know what to say,” Nai told the flurry of Fujisawan media surrounding her after her win.

The Olympics have been quite kind to Nai so far. She carried the Fujisawan Territories’ flag in the Opening Ceremonies, qualified in the semifinals for every event she had competed in thus far and won Olympic gold once.

There was however a bit of a shock, when Nai, who topped the field in the heats for the women’s 400m freestyle, failed to advance to the final, finishing tenth with a time of 4:15.21 in the semifinal. Nai says gold in the women’s 400m individual medley evens everything out.

“The competition is tough in the Olympics, and anything can happen. I’m happy winning gold in the individual medley. It kind of makes up for not making the freestyle final,” Nai said.

Day 2 Midday Recap

In the men’s 100m breaststroke, semifinals, Mayoko Himi finished sixteenth, with a time of 1:06.34, not advancing to the final.

In the women’s 100m butterfly semifinals, Chatchaha Azumaro qualified for the final in fifth with a time of :59.82.

In the women’s 4x100m freestyle relay final, the Nai led Fujisawan Territories finished sixth overall. Secristan won gold.

In men’s water polo, the Fujisawan Territories lost to Kelssek, 9-6.

In women’s judo, the 52kg first round, Sumiko Kawasaki defeated Deborah Murray of JSY.

Gonnohoyo Ashida was defeated in the second round of the men’s 66kg by Cafundéu’s Sávio Dorgival.

After a bye in the first round of women’s badminton singles, Sahoko Raikatuji was defeated by Nicole Reilly of Taeshan.
Kojuro Kuwabara was likewise defeated on the men’s side by Professor Kevin Stronbol of the Landau Institute.

In women’s team archery, the Fujisawan Territories enjoyed a first round bye, topped Secristan 234-229 in the second round, and defeated Maineiacs 240-231 in the quarterfinal.

Albavona Capitol Sentinel Online
Day 2 Midday Recap

In women’s archery, Unified Beretania had a first round bye, and defeated Kura-Pelland 230-226 in the second round, before losing to Capitalizt SLANI 241-248 in the quarterfinal.

Dorsey Blocker and Chad Kinder both had first round byes in men’s badminton singles, while Stephan Golden defeated Sopheap Parmansupol of Maineiacs 21-15, 21-16.

In the second round of women’s badminton singles, LaKeisha Gray-Buchanan defeated Allanea’s Svetlana Odna 21-12, 21-18. Leona Crutcher defeated Heloísa Bastos of Cafundéu 21-18, 21-16. Jonie Bruce lost 21-15, 21-9 to Wentland’s Lydia Costa.

In the men’s 400m individual medley semifinals, David Palomo finished in twelfth place with a time of 4:24.07, and did not qualify for the final. Agustus Walsh qualified for the final in sixth with a time of 4:18.38, but finished fifth in the final, with a time of 4:15.52

In the women’s 100m butterfly semifinals, Johanna Juarez failed to qualify for the final, finishing in fourteenth, with a time of 1:02.42.

Sarasvati Channarayapatra, Christine Shipp, Genevieve Dawson and Crystal Milton finished fourth in the women’s 4x100m freestyle relay final, after the team had finished third in heats.

Francis Christian defeated Newmanistan’s Allison Hayden in the first round of women’s wheelchair fencing.

Day 08–10 B results are now up (part 1 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13911141&postcount=6) · part 2 (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13911145&postcount=7)).

(this is OOC)

CH, the limit in the gymnastics finals of max 2 gymnasts per country (in each event, as it happens in RL) doesn't apply in the NS Olympics?
I didn’t know there was such a limit; since I applied the wrong rule consistently, I’m not going to change the qualification.

The Newmanistan volunteer was enjoying the Games. A splendid new sky blue and white tracksuit to let people know he was approachable and could assist. And it was so nice to help people from around the world, so he could show the best side of his nation.

Especially when they were as sweet as that tiny white-haired old lady who had seemed a little bit lost earlier in the day.

"Oh, young man, I do wonder if you could help me?"

"Certainly, madam! What can I do for you?"

"I am looking for the entrance to the bocce stadium, I need to get there for the first round."

"Ah! That's no problem, madam, it is a mere few hundred yards away. Would you like a lift? I can get one of the electric conveyances."

"Oh, that would be most splendid, thank you very much."

The volunteer briskly walked to the depository and ran his card through the swiper. "Here we go, if you would just like to sit there? There's a safety strap."

"I say! This is rather exciting! I've not been on one of these before."

He drove the thirty seconds needed. "Bocce? I've not seen that yet, I've been co-ordinating the judo."

"Oh, that's SUCH a thrilling sport, all those young men and ladies showing respect for each other. I wish my country had sent participants! Alas they are more interested in the wrestling."

"Which country is that, madam?"

"Wentland. We're not much good at anything else, you see. We have a couple of kayakers but really that's where we are going to do the best."

"But you are interested in the bocce?"

"Why, yes, young man. Indeed I am participating! Isn't that just capital?"

"Really? Well, I shall wish you the best of luck, madam! We've just arrived, the competitor entrance is to the left, if you show your credentials they shall let you in."

"Thank you very much, you've been most kind."

"Oh, madam! Don't forget your kitbag!"

"Of course not. I tell you what, how about you have some of my damson jam? I've been preparing some in the Village. It goes very nicely with toast, don't you know. Build your strength up!"

The volunteer had wondered whether he should hand it in to the central organizers, but decided no, it was a little perk of the job. He could share it with his colleagues on the judo shift the next morning. But he wondered how that lady would do? She would get SLAUGHTERED.

His blackberry bipped. The latest results. Need to check in case certain supporters could lose their tempers. Almost absent-mindedly he saw the bocce score.

Edna Grubbe/Doris Speed (WLD) 11–5 Grace Goldthorpe/Yvette Thompson (KPL)

"Wow, that was EASY! Wonder if that was Edna or Doris?"

OLYMPIC ROCKET REPORT

MIXED BAG OF RESULTS IN DAY 2 AM

Columbia, Unified Capitalizt States- Just one medal went to the Empire this morning, and it would come in the pool, the first of perhaps more to come in swimming. But it didn’t quite come where we were expecting. Newmanistan was expecting to have success in the Women’s 4x100m Freestyle Relay. After all, how could this great team be beat or held off the podium, entirely? Well for Jennifer Conlin, Lauren Biron, Meghan Johnstone, and Courtney Anglin something went terribly wrong in their event. Of the eight, not only did they not medal, they were no where close, finishing in dead last, a good six seconds behind their regional rivals from Secristan, who took home the gold. Looking at the replays, we are having a hard time figuring out what in particular, went wrong. Lauren Biron had the Aquatic Rockets neck and neck with Secristan after the first leg, but by the time Jennifer Conlin jumped into the pool to finish it off, Newmanistan was a good eight seconds off the pace. A good effort by Conlin actually closed some of the gap. They seemed to struggle most in the second leg, but why this was, is anyone’s guess. Simply, it just wasn’t their day. After the event, the swimmers didn’t seem to speak much with one another, and will likely need to discuss what exactly happened behind closed doors. Lauren Biron was the only one who gave us a post-race comment, saying, “Eighth or not, there’s no excuse for us swimming a 42.71. (In reference to their 3:42.71 time). Not one practice leading up to this event did we ever do worse then a 41 flat. This is unacceptable. None of us should be happy with what happened.” There was one medal, and it came from Tom Jackman in the 400m Individual Medley. Tom earned a bronze with his 4:13.77 time, finishing behind a pair of Baranxtu swimmers, the two he warned us to look out for leading up to the event. “Yeah, Janne and Taron seemed confident, and they showed why. Congratulations to them, they did a fantastic job. I am really honored to win a bronze medal. My time is something that I am happy with, and I look forward to my next event.”

Elsewhere in swimming, some of the Aquatic Rockets fell short of medals. Them men’s 400m Freestyle had no representation after Ron Harris was eliminated in the semifinal. On the women’s side of things, Caitlin Geraghty finished sixth overall in the final of the 400m Individual Medley. She seemed to shrug off her time, giving us the impression that she was neither happy or upset with her performance. Kara Brannon qualified for the final in the 400m Freestyle, and Meghan Johnstone will be in the 100m Butterfly final. Both ladies did well enough to be looked at as a legitimate chance to win a medal.

But swimming wasn’t the only event to take place. Now, let’s take a look at some of the other individual performances. In Women’s Team Archery, an event in which we expected to do very poorly, our team won in the first round, and then gave top seed Allanea a scare in the second. “I think we did as good here as we realistically could have expected,” stated team member Shannon Sofer.......... Dale Minter and John Porter had first round byes in badminton singles, while Jim Vorman was defated. The ladies saw a first round split. Melinda Oliviera was defeated while Susan Carpenter advances to the third round, Carpenter though did not have the same fortunate in doubles as herself and Janelle Rogers were defeated. With a, let’s put it nicely, horrid perfomance, Oliviera and Kenzie Dudley are also eliminated. Mixed doubles saw a first round split. John Porter and Janelle Rogers were defeated while Alex Rollins and Debbie Gomez move forward.............. Hank Ridgewell and Burt Ordway had a bye in Men’s Bocce, while Andrea Pickford and Stephanie Blanchard were defeated in the demonstration event............. Brian Gallows, the heavyweight boxer, had a bye, though he did give us a colorful comment, saying, “These chumps ain’t got nothin’ for me!” We’ll see if he’s right, or if he just gave the rest of the world bulletin board material.......... Tom McAteer and Erin Reynolds had chess boxing byes.............. Megan Stover (OOC: first name “Meghan” intentionally misspelled for fodder for her to use in a future RP) was third in the early stage of the dressage in Equestrian, splitting Cafundeu’s attempt to take the top three spots. Jessica DeLuca also did well while Ashley Foster and Brooke Hughes will have to bounce back in the next stage.................... Jeremy Parrone was the only fencer to make it out of the first round in the Individual Epee. He actually made it to the third before being defeated............. Mack Rooney survived the first day of Judo in the 66Kg division, while Danielle Weber is out............. Despite winning two medals in shooting on the first day, things did not go as well this time around with no qualifiers in the Men’s Trap or Women’s 10m Air Pistol, the female equivalent event in which Tom Parsons won his gold............. Allison Hayden lost a close one in a thrilling Wheelchair Fencing match.


One sport in which we do expect, or hope, to do well is artistic gymnastics, and those events got underway this morning as well. Although, much more is expected from the women then the men in these events, and it was the men that had the floor (and the vault, and the rings.... ok, ok) on this day. As a team, they are quite a bit behind, though in reasonable striking distance of what it will take to get a medal with a better performance. In the individual events, the high bars were our best event, seeing three men (Shawn Curley, Jeff Wainwright, and Tony Piatti) qualify. We’ll see what kind of medals, if any, we can muster out of this, though, again, it is anticipated that the women will be the stronger medal threats.


And now, a look at the team sports. In handball, the Rockets shut down the hosts by the score of 32-23. So far, we must say, this team is looking pretty formidable...... The Men’s Volleyball team had a bye...... and in Water Polo, it was victory for Newmanistan! They defeated the Bluth Corporation, 8-5. So, at present, Newmanistan has three medals, one of each variety.

OOC: Um, what exactly are the diving scores representing? RL Diving goes by points awarded, these apparently aren't. Are they penalties? Or accidental reverse ranking ;) ?

A Team and A Dream. The Story of the Taeshan Olympic Team

A Sport by sport Walkthrough

Soccer

The Purple Knights took on the unknown realm of Coocoostan in last nights soccer game. The Coocoostan team tied for the lead in the group(with Cafundeu) had just come from a win against the Fujisiwan Territories in there first match scored early in the game. Though the Taeshaneese came back with an equaliser in the 78th minute tying the game. It ended tied. The Knigths obviously next face FJT. With a win they should advance as the group leaders play each other. If one of them loses and the Knights win the Knights advance. If they tie who knows. One thing is for certain the Knights can't lose.

MensBasketball

The favorite sport in Taeshan provided a win for the Knights as the team beat West Pocono avenging there football loss to that very team earlier. The Knights leading scorer was star Center Ilychin Baker racking up 36 points. The Knights should medal in this event, but who knows.

Beach Volleyball

The Taeshan Beach Volleyball team got under way today with Taeshan getting two wins and two loses. The Mens teams won the womens did not. Mike Phish and Tyson Bradshaw beat a forgotten team from a forgotten country, and Joey Ghengis and Cilis Werington defeated Slaven/Clayborn. Both in straight sets. In womens volleyball the team of Kristy Trainer and Zizi Keller lost to Ferkeil/Barnhart, and Fredy and Smith were beaten by the team of Decams/Nalaya.

QSPN.com/OLYMPIC COVERAGE

A good start to day 2 for Qazox, as the football teams took to the field for the first time.

Football (Men):
Lead by Christian Schieffer's two first half goals, Qazox cruised to a 4-1 win against Wentland.

SCORE SUMMARY
Wentland 0 1 1
Qazox 3 1 4

Qazox Goals:
Christian Schieffer: 2
Neil Cropp: 1 (PK)
Clinton Cassone: 1


Football (Women):
The women played twice today, receiving a 6 hour break between matches. In the first game, a 67th minute goal from Kathrine Ditmore gave Qazox a 1-1 draw with Candelaria And Marquez; while in the second game, 2 goals from Selena Eutsler were enough to hold off Sorthern Northland 2-1.

SCORE SUMMARY
CAM 1 0 1
Qazox 0 1 1

Qazox Goals:
Kathrine Ditmore: 1


SCORE SUMMARY
Qazox 1 1 2
S. Northland 0 1 1

Qazox Goals:
Selena Eutsler: 2


Field Hockey—Women’s:
For the first time ever, the Women's field hockey team qualified for the Olympics. The first match was a close loss as Kenavt held off the Pheonix 3-1.

SCORE SUMMARY
Kenavt 2 1 3
Qazox 0 1 1

Qazox Goals:
Edna Mardis:1


Tennis—Men’s Singles—First Round
In first round action, Nelson Belvins lead 4-0 in the second set vs. Jasiyun's Nathan Smith, but lost in straight sets, (2-6, 4-6). Neil Sanders Ccody Hammell and Clinton Few each had a bye.

Tennis—Women’s Singles—First Round
In first round action, Pearlie McKechnie beat Kelssek's Lela Vingt (6-2, 6-4) to advance to the next round. Serena Paden defeated Elena Nevsky (6-3, 6-3) to advance, while Milagros Shahid was dominated by Kura-Pelland's Zoe Macarthur (1-6, 2-6). Allie Meola had a bye into the next round.

Tennis—Women’s Doubles—First Round
The team of Serena Paden/Pearlie McKechnie had a bye, while the team of Milagros Shahid/Allie Meola lost to Wentland's pair of Martina Henzies/Amelia Curtis (3-6, 0-6).


Stay tuned to QSPN, QSPN2, QSPNOcho, and QSPNInternational for live coverage of every Qazoxian event, and tune into QSPN.com for 24/7 live streaming video for any competition.

Prux's Olympic Blog

The delegation lost its first matches today, as the Men's basketball team was edged by Jasīʼyūn 78-74. Jefferson Neiswender lead the way with 26 points and 11 rebounds, but missed two free throws late, which allowed Jasīʼyūn to hold on.

Score by Quarter:

Jasīʼyūn 19-20-20-19--78
Prux 12-20-17-25--74

In Women's field hockey, Bluth Corporation won 2-0.

Score :

Bluth 2-0--2
Prux 0-0--0

"Welcome to Olympic Roundup here on ABS One. I'm Alan Eagle. Well, it's been a mixed day for Asteran athletes, with the first ever Olympic medals being awarded to Asteran athletes. Before we get to that, let's cover all the day's sports."

"In the Men's Trap qualifications, Oscar Dempsey qualified for the final round after shooting a 116. He was just two points off the top spot and one point away from having to compete in a shootout. He finished seventh in the final, shooting a 22, finishing with 138 points. In the Women's 10 meter air pistol, Kara George failed to qualify for the final round, missing out by five points."

"In swimming, Leo Wendlinger just qualified for the final of the Men's 100 meter Breaststroke, beating Ryan Klueh by only 5 hundredths of a second. Terry Worth failed to qualify for the finals of the Men's 400 meter Individual Medley, coming second from bottom. Frank Fox finished 42nd in the Men's 200 meter freestyle, failing to qualify by three seconds. Orel Herman finished 35th in the Men’s 100 meter Backstroke, failing to qualify by two seconds. The Men's 4x100 meter Relay team finished 13th in the heats, one and a half seconds out of contention. Tara Wilson finished 35th in the Women's 100 meter Backstroke, two seconds out. Daniela Powell qualified for the Women's 100 meter Breaststroke semifinals, qualifying in 14th place."

"In football, the Blues suffered a defeat against Jasīʼyūn, losing 1-0. The team will also have to play a third match, as Qazox was admitted into the tournament late after a organizing mix-up. Sir Neil was unavailable for comment over the revelation, but a source close to him has said that he is confused over the while situation."

"In basketball, the Blues suffered a heavy defeat, losing 92-62 to Newmanistan. Mike Burns was the top scorer for the Blues with 14 points."

"Gail Summers was outsprinted to the finish in the Women's Road Race, finishing in fifth place. Her team mate, May Robard, finished 33rd."

"Derrick Newcastle lost in the quarterfinals of the Men's Épée, falling 15-2 to Mark Trenc."

"In Tennis, Georgia Charles fell to Violet Emsworth 6-1, 6-1. Denise McCormick secured a bye to the next round, while Princess Anna beat Rachel Swan 6-2, 7-6. In the doubles, Princess Anna and Denise McCormick recieved a bye to the second round."

"In Judo, Asteran secured their first medals of the Games through Neil Ballmer and Emily Hietala. Neil fell to Scott Wesbot of Kelssek in the semifinals, earning a spot in one of the bronze medal matches. He defeated Kurt Capaldi of West Pocono, claiming a bronze medal. Emily defeated Samara Geisha of Allanea in the semifinals, but suffered a heartbreaking loss to Admina Mwakingwe of the Ariddian Isles in the final for silver."

"We have Sally Brown live with Neil and Emily in Columbia, so let's go to them now. Sally?"

"Thank you, Alan. Neil, let's start with you. How does it feel?"

"It's great. I never thought that I would get a medal. I thought that somebody who competed in something like cycling would be first, but for me to get it is just fantastic."

"You recently said that Judo doesn't get as much respect as it should in Asteran. Do you feel that this will help the profile?"

"No question. I think that one medal is good, but two is even better. And we've only just started! There's still a number of great judoka from this country that have yet to compete, so we can still get medals and build a foundation that could last for years."

"Thank you, Neil. Emily, what does it mean to be the first Kapi medallist?"

"It means more to me than anything. When I got back to the village, all the Kapi athletes were in my room and began celebrating with me. I also got calls from my friends back home as well as a call from one of the priests, who told me that I should be humble in defeat."

"Speaking of that, how hard was it to lose that final match?"

"It hurt for a while, even after I got the medal. But I thought about it for a while and I realized that any medal is better than none, so I should be happy. The fact is, I got a medal at my first Olympics, so I could win gold at my next one! I'm just happy that I won something and that I wasn't hurt badly."

"Do you think that this will encourage the other Kapi athletes in their events?"

"I do. After our celebration, we all prayed for each other's success. It's hard being the first, but it'll be even harder if I'm the only one. It really does get lonely at the top."

"Thank you, Emily. Congratulations to both of you. Back to you, Alan."

"Thank you, Sally. We'll be back tomorrow with all the day's results and hopefully, a few more medals. I'm Alan Eagle, and this has been Olympic Roundup on ABS One. Good night."

The music quietly fades to:

Yvette: Another day of Olympic competition gave a variety of results for Zwangzug's competitors.
Steve: But the dust is still clearing from a previous event. Cafundelense cyclist Leonardo Borges has been criticized for steering out of control in the men's road race: his swerve led to a large crash. Travis Fillmore and Benjamin Shu were biking in the race.
Travis: It'll sound callous, but I wasn't sure what was going on. Of course I could hear it behind me but at the time, I was only focused on doing the best I could.
Darryl: Did you consider trying to join the breakaway group during the final chase?
Travis: Nope, it was a very close race and I guessed that I'd have better luck waiting to make the final push on my own. Probably the wrong choice. But hey, there's a little more, ah, distance behind me now, and I'm able to really see how much an achievement was, to make the top ten.
Steve: Benjamin, there's been talk of suing Borges? What do you make of that?
Benjamin: Completely ridiculous: he was trying to win like the rest of us and lost control. Yeah, I got scraped up a bit, but I'm fine now...certainly won't be suing.
Lily: Similarly mixed finishes in the women's race this afternoon. While two of Zwangzug's three entrants finished-Isabel Capricorn one of only four that did not-neither cracked the top twenty.
Yvette: Women's field hockey, however, certainly a success. Five goals in the 3-2 defeat of Krytenia, one of the highest-scoring games of the day.
Lily: Team Zwangzug is a defensive one, however, led by sweeper Lynn Mishra.
Darryl: After two quick goals, Zwangzug settled down and conceded a Krytenian goal towards the end of the first half. Shannon Milstead chipped in the eventual winner from midfield in the second, and Krytenia couldn't pull all the way back.
Yvette: Plenty of swimming already under way. Neither of the Querzakhi veterans-Nolan Quan or Kris Catenar-made the cut in their individual heats, or indeed the 4 by 100 freestyle relay.
Lily: Rochelle Urbit, however, did qualify in the hundred meter backstroke-
Steve: -while Roxanne Hemming finished second-to-last in the corresponding breaststroke, and Rosie Ulm second-to-last-
Lily: -in the semifinals of the 400 free.
Steve: Also in the semifinals, Patrick Hollister-
Lily: -was less than a half-second from making the cut. Tony Griffith, on the other hand, finished fourth in the semifinals to advance to the final.
Steve: Where he came in sixth of the eight finalists.
Tony: No, don't ask-I didn't tire myself out, I have no regrets. That was exhilarating, my personal best really. This is the world's greatest stage, and I'm still walking on air from making it here.
Darryl: In tennis, both Bert Kleppen and Kiara Greenleaf went down 6-4, 6-2. Percy Flinton played a tight first set against Blake Patton of Bluth Corporation, with plenty of points going to deuce. But Patton broke serve to win the set 7-6, and the momentum held up for him to win the second set as well, 6-2.
Lily: Amelia DuPont, however, beat ʼAn ʼYūŋ-jin of the hosts Jasīʼyūn, 6-3, 6-1.
Steve: And finally-
Lily: -where Zwangzug's participation is concerned-
Darryl: the bocce.
Steve: Rodney Ilten and Hector Turane certainly knew what they were up against. Cafundéu is the world's premier popularizer of bocce: Wagner Fontoura and Giuseppe Ramos Antonioli two of the modern game's brightest stars.
Yvette: With the first opportunity to throw the pallino, Turane led the way for Ilten to score the game's first point, but the game was Cafundéu's almost from there. They took four points on the third round, and went on to win 11-6.
Darryl: Cynthia Murabi and Courtney Finke kept things a little more competitive against their Candelariasian counterparts. The score swung back and fourth, neither side getting more than a point or two at a time. Only toward the end did Lauren Filipovic and Gabby Sovengi pull away, winning 11-7.
Courtney: It's been a lot of fun, honestly, because it was so surprising to be recognized at this level, going to the Olympics. Just sad it had to end so quickly.
Lily: Referring there to bocce's status as a demonstration event.
Hector: We're glad the Cafundelenses organized this...but of course, letting them advance to the quarterfinals isn't quite how we planned on showing it!
Laughter, fading out.

OOC: Um, what exactly are the diving scores representing? RL Diving goes by points awarded, these apparently aren't. Are they penalties? Or accidental reverse ranking ;) ?
The latter, unfortunately (well, fortunately for you :p ). Table corrected and medals redistributed accordingly. Now, to protect the official computer systems from further pranks by developers of football management simulations…

OLYMPIC ROCKET REPORT

CYCLING BRONZE HIGHLIGHTS DAY

Columbia, Unified Capitalizt States- This was never going to be a big medal day for the Empire with many of the medals scheduled to go out not being in our top events. But something big did happen, a major event for Newmanistan. A medal, in the sport of cycling. Earlier we chronicled how the sport has grown recently thanks to Michelle Patrick doing everything that she could to make it be that way. Following in her footsteps was young Debbie Christensen, who used Michelle as her model for never giving up, and pursuing her dream in her sport of choice. She came to Columbia, not knowing what to expect, and she will leave with a bronze. Her idol, Michelle Patrick was also in the Women’s Road Race and finished 27th overall. Patrick jumped up with the leaders and seemed to tire as the race went on. One of the riders capitalizing was Christensen, who held off Sharina Nakakama of the Fujisawan Territories to win the bronze. Debbie was in tears after the event, tears of jubilation, as now that she could say she was an olympic medalist, and it didn’t matter then it was a bronze. “I just (holding back tears).... I just... can’t believe this. All those years... I mean... I never thought this would be a possibility, I just kept riding, kept wanting to become as good as I could be and just to be have come to the Unified Capitalizt States was an honor. And now (sniffles); Now I’ve won a medal. I can’t wait to share this experience with everyone back home. And of course I have to thank everyone that’s helped me along the way, especially Michelle (Patrick).” It is quite a feat that Debbie has accomplished, and yet another storybook ending for our athletes. Elsewhere, medals were also awarded in Diving, Fencing, Judo, the Men’s Trap in Shooting, and Weightlifting. None of which should we really have expected to have been a medal threat.

Where it was a good day for Newmanistan, was in setting up for medal opportunities in several events, especially in the pool. The Aquatic Rockets looked very good Men’s 200m Freestyle and 100m Backstroke heats, placing two swimmers in the top four overall. In the freestyle, Nate Compston’s 1:48.21 put him on top of the leaderboard with Dave Perotti positioned a couple notches below him in third. They then reversed their order in the Backstroke, with Perotti placing 2nd, and Compston being two spots below him in 4th. “We both swam very well,” said Perotti, “I think both of us have a good chance at winning a medal, and it will be really cool if we could both win medals in both events.” Compston agreed, “I felt really good today in both events. We did really well in the heats, but we both know that there is a lot more work to get done, and there are some other very good competitors in this field that we have to watch out for.” Perotti & Compston’s work wasn’t done there, though, as they also led the way in the 4 x 100m relay. Along with Ron Harris and Matt Clemons, the team put together an impressive time of 3:15.24, and will be looking to carry that into a medal. So perhaps, Perotti and Compston could win as many as three medals tomorrow! That’s obviously asking a lot of them, and we’re not really asking that of them at all. Just an observation that is surely going through the minds of each competitor. The women had some nice rebounds as well with Jennifer Conlin and Lauren Biron each advancing to the semifinals in the 100m Backstroke and 100m Breaststroke. In the Backstroke, Biron was 7th and Conlin 12th, but the qualifying times were very tight from 5th on back, and a medal winning time is something they should be capable of. In the Breaststroke, Conlin was very impressive, finishing second overall in the heats. There could be some swimming medals tomorrow for our Aquatic Rockets, so we’ll need to be watching for that.

Elsewhere, Newmanistan defeated Gerainia 1-nil on a Kevin Carrigan goal in the 70th minute in association football to improve to 2-0-0 in Group E. They have, unofficially, won this group, as they could not lose out in a tiebreaker scenario....... On the hardwood, we destroyed Asteran by the score of 92-62, jumping out to as much as a 47-point lead in the contest before the starters got the rest of the game off. So far, this team is looking very strong..... The Women’s Field Hockey team played to a 2-2 tie with our friends from West Pocono..... In Tennis, Brendan Holt won an exciting contest against Secristan’s Jason Robinson 4-6, 7-6, 6-2. Once Holt figured out Robinson’s serve, he seemed to take control of the match. Tim Cooper won in straight sets, 6-0, 6-4 over Oleg Crestakov of Allanea, and Chris Terrell completed the sweep with a win over Scott Carrefour of Krytenia. Michael Johnson had a bye. The Hearn sisters each won both of their matches too, on the ladies circuit, with Ashley winning in three sets, and Brittany winning in straight sets, as did Shannon Mayer, completing a sweep there as well as Lauren Martin also sat back to focus on her doubles match with Mayer, a match in which she won. The Hearn sister combination had a bye. Tougher matches will come, but this was truly a great start of us..... In Beach Volleyball, we had two victories on the Men’s side, and a split on the Women’s..... Weightlifting was nothing but the expected struggle, though both were still able to at least, carry their gym bag back to the locker room.

Then, there’s gymnastics, and the Women finally made their appearance. Ariddia is expected to be a top contender, but Newmanistan is expected to be able to match them point for point, at least we hope so. Other nations, such as Cafundeu, Unified Beretania, Secristan, and West Pocono also have the ability to compete. But in the end, it was Ariddia and Newmanistan managing the two highest qualification scores, with plenty of individual success to go along with it. All individuals qualified for the final in at least one the single events. Julie Harding, one of the participants, said of the performance, “It was really exciting to be out there against everyone. Even though we are competitors and want to win medals for the country as well as for ourselves and those who helped us get here, we are all also gymnasts, and we enjoy watching others perform so brilliantly in all of the routines. This is really a lot of fun for me and for my teammates. I’ve gotten to meet some of the Ariddians, and people from other countries. Everything about it, it’s just one big paradise.”

There is a possibility that tomorrow could be a good medal day for us. Hopefully, things will fall into place nicely, and we will enjoy success.

THE MONASTIC TIMES
OLYMPIC SPECIAL EDITION

FIRST ARCHREGIMANCY ATHLETES IN ACTION
Team Spokesman Outraged By Vexillogical Slur

By Fr. Nicholas the Scribe

After a slow start enlivened solely by summer vigil fasting contender Fr. Emilian the Emaciated entering his monastic cell for his two week competition, the Olympic Games are now well and truly underway for the Orthodox contingent following plucky and soul-strengthening - but ultimately unsuccessful - efforts from two of the Holy Monastic Republic's less well-known athletes.

Lost among the controversy over the Archregimancy's position in the parade of nations, Fr. Justus of the Uncomfortable Seat came a respectable 24th in the men's road race, only some six minutes behind the heretic Fran Ventoso of Sorthern Northland. Fr. Justus' achievement was placed into perspective with the news that nearly half the field failed to finish a surprisingly-tough event. "God be praised for my spiritual victory! I just kept thinking of those brave martyrs of the Great Persecution of Diocletion and Gallienus; no matter how hard I had it out there, they had it worse" said the plucky cycling monk, who first picked up his sport while making milk deliveries to the outlying sketes of the Holy Monastery of Xenophon.

Even more remarkable news came from the men's 56kg weighlifting, where Fr. Leonid the Strong in Spirit - a late addition to the team added solely for numerological balance - managed to avoid coming last, setting a personal record of 265kg in the process. "I had never lifted more than 150 kilos before last week" said the puny weakling "so I can only assume my arms were fired with the Holy Spirit". Not including those sinful weightlifters filled with hubris who failed to lift any weight, fully two lifters finished behind Fr. Leonid, who has sworn to now give up a sport that he finds "distracting from a life of prayer."

In the exciting summer vigil fasting event, Fr. Emilian was last seen eating nothing but worms and grubs in attempt to shed the kilos as quickly as possible.

Elsewhere, team spokesman Fr. Vasily the Heavily-Accented expressed disgust at the news that Wentland had failed to award the Archregimancy a medal for our nation's beautiful and inspiring flag. "Is outrage!" said Fr. Vasily. Why is Wentland flag coming in the third? Is bad flag. Is looking like is drawn by lazy Hellenes. Archregimancy flag is clearly best. Is flag with prettiest colours, though where canton would be has the slightly unconventional use of the Cyrillic lettering in not full proper canton, no? I am demanding the apology from Wentland. Vexillology is vexing, no? That is the joking by me. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Why is you not laughing too?"

"Miss Bright."

*twang*

"Ten scored. Miss Fogarty."

*twang*

"Ten scored. Miss Lonergan."

*cough*

"Six scored. We remind all spectators to keep quiet whilst the participants are taking their shots."

Kate Lonergan glared at Siobhan Fogarty. "That wasn't a spectator, that was HER."

Siobhan Fogarty smiled sweetly. "Oh, I'm sorry, dearest. You know what these drug rules are like, though. They wouldn't even let me have a Strepsil. And you know I'm a martyr to my throat."

"Why don't you use that special liquid, then? That you get from the cox?"

Fogarty pouted. Bright just looked confused. "Oh, Siobhan, did you cough just then? Come on, we want to win this! I've not got an Olympic gold! It would look so good next to Binkie's rosette!"

"Shut UP, squidling. We've got this lot stuffed anyway."

"Quiet please."

Allanea finished their final shots and ended up with 233 points. Wentland still had three to go and were already on 231. Kellie Bright took her shot and scored an eight. Siobhan Fogarty and Kate Lonergan contemptuously fired at the wrong target - both bulls - and to boos from the crowd waved imperiously. The final.

***

Meanwhile the Wentland football team was relaxing in the village. A four-one defeat in their first match was a poor start, but they were hoping for better things to come against the unfancied Asteran outfit. They had the television on to see their game against Jasīʼyūn.

"Welcome to the second game in Group G...we were hoping to show Qazox against Wentland, but that game has been abandoned, as Wentland did not turn up..."

There was immediate consternation. "EH??!!!"

Coach Hugo Sproat was astounded. "Qazox? Did they even enter? They weren't part of the draw! What's going on?"

He immediately telephoned the chef de mission allocated to Wentland. "What's happening?"

The chef de mission was apologetic. "There was a paperwork mistake, Qazox were placed in Group G as their entry was mislaid. We informed everyone via email bulletin and posted it up on the noticeboard..."

"Hang on, I'll check. Dennis, where's the computer?"

"Problems there, I'm afraid, boss, the hard drive was wiped when Amalgam needed something for discus practice."

"Augh! Let's look at the noticeboard."

And indeed the announcement of the Qazox-Wentland match was clearly posted on the noticeboard. Underneath an advert that had been blu-tacked above it from Peter Oliphant offering to sell his horse to any decent glue factory.

Sproat dashed back to the phone. "Um, there seems to have been a cock-up, when can we play?"

"Well, you have about four minutes to get to the stadium and start playing, otherwise you forfeit under by-law 11(c)(ii). Is that OK?"

"Dennis, how far away is the stadium?"

"Three-and-a-half minutes..."

"AUUGHHH!!!! GET THE TEAM!!!!"

“…dulla, he’s holding off Wooliscroft, back out to Jones… It’s backs against the wall from Krytenia here, Wooliscroft finds Edvar, loses out to Cohen, swinging cross from Cohen, Ibadulla with a head up tIBADULLA SCOOOORSH!!! IN THE NINETY-SIXTH MINUTE! It’s C&M three Krytenia two… And who the hell says football shouldn’t be at the Olympics! Find me that man and shoot him for me! Abdul Ibadulla, in the sixth minute of stoppage time, incredible stuff, John!”

“Oh, absolutely, John.”

“Well, their female counterparts may have a hell of a lot of work to do to qualify, but Trevor Organ’s boys have a foot in the knock-out stages now surely… And there’s the final whistle, heartbreak for Krytenia after leading so early, but Aaron Kortsarian, Tom Smith and Abdul Ibadulla give C&M their second three-two win of the Olympic games… Fantastic stuff. John, I guess you guys back in the studio can start discussing next round opponents for the Medium Blues?”

“Quite so, John, great work there, fantastic victory for C&M… They’re not fancied, they’re certainly not Newmanistan, but on this form you just never know. Coming up, we’ve got all the goals from all the gam–”

*Click*

“...at’s a third penalty! And it’s all going wrong for little Echo Petronis on the floor –”

*Volume +1*

*Edges slightly closer to the screen*

“…all up to Miwano Chi to have a half-decent last shot at the uneven bars, if she does that it’s going to be the Fujisawan Territories through to the team finals, and that would be such a blow for Team C&M. Beth Mountray stunning pretty much everyone with that incredibly difficult routine on the vault… just watching it again here… and Basima Al-Jaber through to the individual parallel bars, but this would be disappointing… And that looks like it’s it; the Fujisawan Territories are through, and C&M’s challenge in the indoor center has pretty much fizzled out…”

“Okay, thanks Robert. Disappointment there for Jenni Smith and co, but two of the girls are through to really quite unexpected individual finals, we’ll be seeing them next week. All right, well we’re leaving the gymnastics now on Digital Option 2, and moving to the final of the men’s trap, with four local conten–”

*Resigned click*

“…perb swim from Olivia Harris, the fourth-fastest qualifier from the women’s hundred-metre backstroke heats… Not so great for fifty-two kay-gee judo hopeful ; Anna Kacian, her challenge ended in the first round of the repêchage… Kura-Pelland eased to an impressive victory over Kelssek in the women’s field hockey, that’s in C&M’s group… And in the same group, Newmanistan and North-east Pocono shared a two-all draw, but we can’t bring you any highlights of that, obviously, what with the current row over image rights an’ all, so let’s take you back to the women’s road race… We’re now well into the second hour of the cont–”

*Click*

“…usted está mirando el servicio español Candelarias, y nos deja parecer un poco más profundizados Marco Antonio Gabriel de Anda’ funcionamiento completamente maravilloso de s esta mañana, co–”

*Hurried click*

Splish.

Splish.

Splosh.

Splish.

“Still raining here, in Columbia. Just a brief shower, with Yazmin Nazar and Rabiah Sajjad leading the Eesseffian pair here six-two four-love and seemingly sailing through… I’ve still got Katie Hodges with me here; Katie, the girls could really do without this interruption, couldn’t they? Especially with most of their rivals having got a bye through to the second round?”

“Aye, this won’t be entirely part of the game plan, but it’s all good experience. I really can’t see them giving up this match now, pretty much outclassing their veteran opponents today.”

“Of course, yourself and Jess Pound also have a bye in the mixed doubles…”

“The women’s doubles, Adam…”

“Yea, the wom… Really? Okay. Um, and byes in the singles as well; it must be frustrating for you as well, kicking your heels like this?”

“Better that than going home in the first round, Adam.”

“Mm.”

Splish.

Splosh.

“It’s a funny thing, rain, isn’t it? When you really think abou–”

*Click*

“…ights of the women’s beach volleyba–”

*Option: Commentary Off*

*Volume +4*

“…oming up in about half an hour on Digital Option 6, but first we can bring you the best bits of this morning’s bocce, as Alessando Fa–”

*Click*

"And the winners of the gold medal in archery...WENTLAND!!!"

"What a moment this is for the girls. For Kate Lonergan in particular, silver medallist last time out in the individual, and holder of two bronzes from the team event...the quadruple world champion has now captained the team to gold, and she receives her medal with a smile on her face...

"And now Kellie Bright...the golden girl of Wentland archery...surprise World Champion, albeit against a depleted field, and now Olympic gold medallist...she was delighted with bronze and LOOK AT HER FACE!!!

"Finally, Siobhan Fogarty...two bronzes for her as well, always the bridesmaid at world level, it seems, with just the one world title but three runner-up finishes..."

The medals were duly presented and Kate Lonergan stood in front of Siobhan Fogarty to wave to the crowd. "Oi! Fishface! They don't want you in the pictures, they want some enduring beauty..."

"Enduring? Well, that's one word for it. No, the captain goes to the front, it's normal."

"Screw you, Loner-gan."

With a deft shove Kate Lonergan was sent sprawling from the rostrum. She got up with a glare, spitting grass from her mouth.

"You cow! You did that DELIBERATELY!"

Fogarty looked on angelically. "Sorry, babes. I must have slipped."

"Well, so did I."

Fogarty let out a little scream as Kate Lonergan shoved her backwards off the podium and took the place herself. There was a little splash as Fogarty landed in a big puddle. Bad weather conditions.

Meanwhile Kellie Bright was beaming, tears streaming down her face, and singing her heart out, as she beheld the award-winning Cyrillic-free Wentland flag climb up the highest flagpole. "Though the wayyyyy be longgggg let your heart beeeee strongggg..." Oblivious to Lonergan being dragged off the podium by Fogarty and the all-out catfight that was going on behind her.

"Bitch! I'll get you!!"

"Not till I get you first!!! Here! Have a gold filling!!!!"

"OWWW!!! That hurt!!! Take that!!!"

"Owww!!!! My ears!!!"

"Never mind your ears!!! Eat mud, like the other cows!!!!"

*thplut*

Meanwhile, the Games' television director was in two minds. What to show? What to show? Podium ceremony or the fight?

The executive producer had no such indecision. Then again, six years of taping Mud Babes volumes 4-27 had given him an artist's eye. "This is MINT...can we get these two a contract?"

STRONG EARLY PERFORMANCES

With the Olympics rolling along, and the Secristan Department of Sports collecting huge proceeds from the pay-per-view telecasts, the actual athletes have done quite a good job bringing in medals for the country. They are obviously motivated by the fact that they can win portions of their bid to represent the team back if they do, indeed, achieve winning medal. So far, we have won seven medals, two being gold, three silvers, and two bronze which ties for the lead in the world! SDOS representative Cassie Doran said that this proves that the Secristan model of having athletes bid for their spots to represent the country is an effective, and a preferable way of doing things, instead of silly things like Olympic Trials, “So far this shows that you can field a successful team without having to do unnecessary preliminary events. We have made so much money off of their bids, and we are seeing them wish to get the great returns on their investment, and it’s beginning to show. We have seven individual medalists already, and they are mainly in sports that aren’t that big in our country. Yet now they will have all kinds of endorsement deals that will come from their medals that will make them icons here in the homeland.” Additionally, citizens at home are lining up and purchasing the events left, right, and center, which is generating such a high level of profit for the SDOS for their representatives to spend on lavish gifts for themselves and for just about anyone they please.

Secristan’s medalists so far have been the following: Junichi Kishimoto, a bronze in Judo (M 60 Kg), Chan Yi, a silver in Judo (W 48 Kg), Jerome Blanchard a bronze in Swimming (M 400m Freestyle), Rachel Orton, a silver in Swimming (W 400m Individual Medley), and then a team effort with Carrie Stefansson, Julie Holmes, Ashley Simmons, and Katie Burnett earning a gold in the Women’s 4 x 100m Freestyle Relay. They became the first gold medals in Secristan Olympic history, and by virtue of that, they will especially stand to get a huge return on their investments. Especially with it happening as a team. Reportedly, they have already signed up with a Beer Company that will surely look to exploit their many talents. Secristan’s third silver was won in diving. Diving?! Yes, diving! There, my friends, is a true story of unexpected Olympic Glory. Who knew. Patricia McClain and Stephanie Long are very unexpected medalists, and now will become legends of their chosen sport when they return home. Our second gold medal, came in Judo, our third overall medal in the sport. It is an event we expected to do well in, and so very it is great to see things working out. Masahiro Kageyama became the first ever single gold medalist in our history with an impressive win in the gold medal match. He too, figures to profit greatly. Expect all our judo athletes, to appear in several commercials when they return home from Columbia.

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d77/baranxi/Baranxtu/bcologosmall.png

Marjel greeted the two women with a warm smile. Then, he raised his hands and shouted "Zara! Cerme! Tou koula ilen bottegoure!"
Both raised one hand each to meet his high five.

Nayani stepped up behind Marjel. "Um, what he said, I think."

"I told them they kicked ass."

"Definitely what he said! Nice diving, really."

Zara looked at him slightly puzzled, and appeared to blush a bit. "Que ile palaille?" she whispered to Cerme.

Cerme grinned. "Sorry, Zara here only speaks Cikoutim and French."

"Aaah, then tell her I thought you were good. Would do it myself, but I only speak English and Baranxeï... well, and a few bits of Asuaneï you learn in school when you're lazy. Well, I'll leave you guys to yourselves, I'm owing Raniya and Iŋana a beer."

"You drink before a competition day?" Cerme didn't look particularly pleased with this bit of information.

"Baranxtiman tradition. I know, not the best strategy, but at least now I only owe 'em two and not four. Though Tikati and Kantena will probably beat those out of me once we're back home! Gotta run! See ya!"

Marjel, Cerme and Zara started to talk vividly in Cikoutim. Had Nayani been present, he might've heard his name fall once or twice.

---

"You're mad, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are! C'mon, please, don't be mad at me!"

"Maybe I'm mad, but I'm not mad at you. Really, Auli, I'm not - you beat me, fair and square. I was just... this close to a medal. I know you're objectively better than me, as is Marc. Still. This. Damn. Close."

"Besides, there's still the épée team event."

"Well, yeah..."

"So, um, will you come out of the bathroom? Please?"

"...no."

"Yätti!"

---

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August 11, 2008 - Eye of Baranxtu online edition

BCO continues to lead medal tally
A review

Columbia, Unified Capitalizt States - Overall, the first few days of the Third Olympic Games in Columbia turned out to be a success for the BCO delegation. With three gold medals, one silver and three bronze, the joint team of these three IDU nations currently leads the medal tally. In total numbers, BCO currently is tied with Secristan (2 gold, 3 silver, 2 bronze).

Of its fellow IDU contestants, both Ursine nations Bears Armed and Roumberre are also among the medalists. The nations also faced each other off; one particularly charged encounter was the match between fencers Tea Aoke and Roumberre's Berrinda ReBrrun (who went on to win silver in the Women's Individual Épée).

After a few initial setbacks, the BCO athletes really came around on the 10th, winning four medals in various aquatic events during the day's first half, catapulting them to the top of the medal tally. The latter half additionally saw two fencing medals (gold for Auli Atare and bronze for Marc Trenc), and the bronze in the 3m synchronized diving (for Ambrose and Boucron).

However, the day has not been without its setbacks. The men's 4x100m Freestyle Relay team failed to qualify for the next round, not even barely meeting the time they set at the Olympic qualification events in the stadions of Baranxtu.

Another hard blow to the BCO team was welterweight Harri Virtanen's defeat by Allanea's Solomon Rosenberg. He made a few precarious blunders during the match, and surprised his fans by failing to meet the standards he raised at home.

BCO's showing in the team sports has also been rather lackluster for the most part; today's win of the men's soccer team against Allanea came as a rare surprise - the women's soccer team is already out of the run after two poor matches against Ariddian Isles and Krytenia.

Their basketball colleagues fared a little better, narrowly defeating Kura-Pelland 69-63; however, the men's team lost against their opponents from Maineiacs 72-77.

The women's volleyball and water polo teams show more promise, remaining undefeated so far. The men's beachvolleyball duo Namakkas-Söderberg could also score a win against Nuevos Aires Eugenio-Ezio pair.

In most other events, BCO has so far proven mostly mediocre with only few exceptions, such as Sarah Friedmann, Ükkit Marus and Dōna Moira, who all finished the road race only seconds after the winners Astarloza (Krytenia), Kitty Dennis (Maineiacs) and Debbie Christensen (Newmanistan).

Tomorrow's points of interest for Baranxtu, Cikoutimi and Otea include the continuation of the men's badminton and tennis matches, the women's individual foil, a new round of swimming heats and finals, as well as the first rowing events.

---

The latter, unfortunately (well, fortunately for you :p ). Table corrected and medals redistributed accordingly. Now, to protect the official computer systems from further pranks by developers of football management simulations…

Huzzah *dons party hat* !

"Two kilometres to go then in this gruelling women's road race, and it's this group of four that will decide the medals. Nakakama, the Fujisawan rider, leads the pack at the moment, and she's really trying to push the pace up. Christensen's there as well, and Kitty Dennis of the Maineiacs. Astarloza third in the pack at the moment...but is the chasing group catching? The gap was thirty seconds at the 5km mark, it's twelve now...the Baranxtese trio on the front at the moment as the leasers approach the one kilometer kite, still nothing - oh! Dennis goes for the breakaway - and Astarloza's right on her wheel! This is it! They're pulling away from the other two now, this is the duel for gold and silver! Dennis pushes, Astarloza pushes, neck and neck and they push on! Has either got something left in the tank? 600m to go, Kitty Dennis giving it everything, Michaela Astarloza giving it everything, still going strong both of them, nothing to choose! Behind there's the battle for bronze, close there too, and they come now towards the line! Dennis! Astarloza! Last hundred metres! Matching stroke to stroke, pedal to pedal! Who's got there? Who's got there! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!! It's Astarloza by a tyre's width! Gold for Krytenia! Michaela Astarloza win's Krytenia's first ever Olympic gold!"

- GLOBO MULTIMEDIA -
Olympic news in our website! With audio! - Today with Breno Gavião

*script of the Breno Gavião comments*

Arrrrrcherrrrry - our female team lost in the quarrrrrterrrrrfinals, a rrrrresult that could be better... but that wasn't a disaster too. Allanea was the team that defeated us.

Badminton - in the peteca with a rrrrrracket, the firrrrrst rrrrround of the men's singles saw all our playerrrrrs winning... but in the second rrrrround of the women competition, all our playerrrrrs lost.

Bocce - oh, such a marrrrrvelous sporrrrrt! Our athletes, frrrrrom the asylum for rrrrrretirrrrrred Italian immigrrrrrrants (by the way, what is Italy?), starrrrrrted the competition defeating the Zwangzug playerrrrrrs, prrrrrrobably much younger and with less experrrrrrience than our playerrrrrrs. Wagner and Giuseppe arrrrre the favourrrrrites.

Chess Boxing - our male competitor lost.

Equestrrrrrian - as prrrrredicted, Cafundéu dominated the event, placing thrrrrree rrrrriderrrrrs in the top five positions. The only bad news was the bad perrrrrforrrrrrmance of Antônio Carrrrrrlos Bamerrrrrindus, who wasn't in a good day. But, aparrrrrt frrrrrom that, Cafundéu showed why its rrrrriderrrrrs arrrrre the favourrrrrites.

Fencing - Mário Lima Vieirrrrra did well in rrrrrreaching the semifinals, but failed to do anything better than that, finishing in the fourrrrrth place.

Gymnastics (men) - as we have only two good gymnasts, it was naturrrrral a bad perrrrrforrrrrmance overrrrrrall... but we have some good chances in the individual events.

Handball (men's) - solid win against the Arrrrriddian Isles (37-20).

Judo - Sávio rrrrreached the semifinals in the Men's 66kg, but didn't get a medal. Karen lost in her firrrrrst fight.

Shooting - the Sarrrrrgeant Vanessa Girrrrriarrrrrdi won the brrrrronze medal in the 10m air pistol, a well-deserrrrrved medal.

Swimming - Cafundéu still fails to make good rrrrresults in the sporrrrrt, or at least rrrrresults that would end in medals. Both Natália Frrrrranco and Miguel Navarrrrrrrro finished in the fourrrrrth place in the 400m individual medley (both). Natália still have good chances in the 400m frrrrreestyle. In other qualifying heats, our swimmers did well, and we still have many medal chances. Of courrrrrse, our opponents arrrrre still strrrrrong ones, so nothing is guarrrrranteed.

Volleyball (men's) - rrrrrrrrrridiculous! Our men indoor volleyball team lost by 3 sets against none to Secrrrrrristan! Secrrrrristan can have a good team, but 3 sets against zerrrrrro? That's unacceptable!

Water Polo (men's) - a loss, expected, against Ad'ihan.

Wheelchair Fencing - good starrrrrt for Anabela, with a win against a Landau Institute doctor (do they know fencing? I doubt that!), but a loss after that ended the competition for her.

Football (men's) - Marossi scorrrrres twice and Cafundéu defeats the Fujisawan Terrrrrrrritorrrrries, and now leads the grrrrroup.

Basketball (men's) - good victorrrrry against Valanorrrrrra. The rrrrresult was 80-70.

Diving - the golden event of the day for the Cafundelenses! After some confusion made by the judges (I bet they did that just to make some drrrrrama), our girls Jennifer Rrrrross and Luciana Coutinho won the synchronized 3m sprrrrringboarrrrrd event, and for the second time the anthem of Cafundéu was hearrrrrd.

Field Hockey (women's) - nice victory against the hosts rrrrreprrrrresenting Capitalizt SLANI. The rrrrresult was 3-1.

Gymnastics (women) - Cafundéu prrrrrroved that is fighting for many medals in this event by being the countrrrrry that qualified most gymnasts for individual finals. Counting the generrrrrral finals, Newmanistan ties with us. Our scorrrrre just wasn't better because our girrrrrls failed to score well in the horrrrse and the rrrrrrings, which arrrrren't apparrrrratus that they practice on (as it is rrrrreserrrrrved for the men), although they did very well in the parrrrrallel barrrrs, which is usually prrrrracticed by only the men too. In the finals, Cafundéu has all the possibilities to brrrrring many medals home, being one of the favourrrrrrite teams in this sporrrrrt. Only Newmanistan and Arrrrriddia seem able to challenge us (or only Newmanistan and Cafundéu seem able to challenge Arrrrriddia, you choose). The biggest deception of the day was the balance beam, in which Fernanda Serrrrrrrrano fell once.

Tennis - between the men the Prrrrrince enjoyed a bye day, but the others had to play. Antonioli lost (to Leonardo, 2-1), while Tedesco won (against Scolley, 2-0). Between the women, Klaeigh (against Henn, 2-0) and Venturine (against Spelman, 2-1) won, while Camarrrrrgo had a bye day.

Beach Volleyball (men's) - good starrrrt for Marcus Vinícius and Rrrrrodrrrrrigo, defeating the Maineiacs double Martin/Hale by 2-1. Lúcio and Leopoldo had an even easier job, defeating the Bluth Corrrrrporrrrration double Hobbs/Moore by 2-0 (verrrrry easy).

Beach Volleyball (women's) - Paola and Grrrrrazielly had an easy game against Secrrrrristan's Ferguson and Taylor, winning by 2 sets against none. Alessandrrrrra and Daniela had a tougher job, but defeated their opponents too, the Grey/Campbell double by 2 sets against one.

Weightlifting - a silver came with Daniela Tedeschi in the women's 53kg. A nice rrrrrresult for her.

*soon you'll hear the Breno Gavião comments in a next RP*

From MSPN--

Some bitter disappointment and some bright spots.

Archery:

Our Women's team lost in the quarterfinals to Fujisawan Territories 240-231.

Badminton:

Both Vibol and Sopheap Parmansupol were eliminated in the first round. Vibol lost to Trafford Sands of Bluth Corporation 25-23 16-21 13-21, while Sopheap lost to Stephan Golden of Unified Beretania 21-15 21-16. Pakpao Adulyadej fared better in the Women's competition, beating Bianca Chalk of Candelaria And Marquez 21-7 21-10. In Women's Doubles, Sukon Bhumanipam and Pakpao Adulyadej beat Jeanette Masonne and Antwanète Neuwille of Baranxtu, Cikoutimi, and Otea 21-9 21-11. In Mixed Doubles, Sopheap Parmansupol and Sukon Bhumanipam beat Onrry de Summer and Barrolina DuBwarr of Roumberre 21-19 21-16 and Vibol Parmansupol and Pakpao Adulyadej defeated Antwan Neuwilleand Jeanette Neuwille of Baranxtu, Cikoutimi, and Otea 21-13 21-9.

Basketball:

Our Men's team beat Baranxtu, Cikoutimi, and Otea 77-72.

Boxing:

George Holmes defeated Fábio Sarau of Landau Institute in the Men's Heavywieght class, while Jackson Middleton received a bye in the Welterweight class.

Cycling:

Kitty Dennis took the silver in a photo finish in the Women's Road Race to Michaela Astarloza of Krytenia.

Diving:

Yu and Ling were a disappointing 7th in Women’s Synchronized Springboard.

Equestrian:

In the Dressage, Gary Olsen was 17th, Timothy Kelly was 28th, Sarah Silversmith was 42nd, Corrine Trumble was 47th, and Marian Upton was 51st.

Fencing:

In Men’s Individual Épée, Ramon Arnau and François Yprés were eliminated in the first round and Georges Petain was ousted in the second round.

Field Hockey;

Our Women's team beat Secristan 4-0.

Gymanstics:

In the Men's competition, our qualifiers were Saburo Jiro in in Horizontal Bars and Vault, Sho Ryouta in Pommel Horse, James Tufts in Horizontal Bars, and Frank Russell in Parallell Bars. For the Women, our only qualifier was Terri Glbert in Vault.

Handball:

Our Men's team lost to West Pocono 24-23.

Judo:

Kenji Ichiro lost in the second round of the Men's 66kg class. Hyun Kung-Soon was relegated to the Repêchage, where she lost in the first round.

Shooting:

Perry Davis failed to qualify in Men's Trap, Renée Foreteller did not qualify in Women’s 10 m Air Pistol.

Swimming:

A dismal dfay at the pool. Evan MacGregor failed to qualify in Men’s 200m and 400 m Freestyle, Sean O'Reilly did not qualify in Men’s 100 m Breaststroke, Betsy Kelleher failed to qualify in Women's 400m IM, Davis Morton did not qualify in Men’s 100 m Backstroke, Antoinette Puissant did not qualify in Women’s 100 m Breaststroke, and we did not qualify in Men’s 4×100 m Freestyle Relay. The only good news in swimming was that Sheila Mitchell qualifed in Women’s 100 m Backstroke.

Tennis:

Linus Novartis defeated Jo Cuckow of Candelaria And Marquez 6-2 6-0; Teodors Kaustaskas received a bye. For the Women, Irina Tcherpova beat Sana Teryano of Ketchupland 7-5 6-3 and Christa Schiller lost to Rachel Giannini of Krytenia 7-5 3-6 5-7. Schiller and Tcherpova won their Doubles match over Bella Alessi and Patricia Del Monte of Kura-Pelland 6-0 6-2.

Beach Volleyball:

In day 1 of the Men's competition, Paul Martin and Jim Hale lost to Marcus Vinícius Farias and Rodrigo Garcia of Cafundéu 21-18 112-21 10-15. In day 1 of the Women's competition, Isadora Ihlnaus and Camila Porteus beat Annabella Marksberry and Tania Robillard of Unified Beretania 21-9 21-7.

Indoor Volleyball:

Our Men's team received a bye.

Water Polo:

Our Men's team lost to Landau Institute 7-3.

Wheelchair Fencing:

Caitlin Jarvis beat ʼWon Çā-çūl of Jasīʼyūn 13-11 in the first round, and Maddalena LeBrruin of Roumberre 15-3.

Weightlifting:

Weightlifiting brought our team its only medals of the day. Hakan Musa won our first gold, in a three-way tie in the Men's 56kg class, Roshanak Shannaz finished in a three-way tie for the silver in the Women's 53kg class.

Betsy threw herself down on her bed and cried. Her roomate Christa Schiller came in.

"So, screwed up, eh? Well, you'lll have to leave for a bit, Irina and I want to be alone." she said.

"Go away, Schiller, I'm not in the mood." said Betsy.

"We want to celebrate Irina's victory here, so beat it, loser." said Christa.

Sheila Mitchell came by to see how Betsy was doing, and walked in on this scene. "Leave her alone, Schiller. And as for 'loser', it seems to me you lost, too." she said.

"Stay out of this, Mitchell. This is between me and the crybaby." said Christa.

"No, go away now," said Sheila, getting right up in Miller's face. "you have two seconds to leave, or I'll defenestrate you, LOSER!"

Christa and Irina left at that point.

(ooc: CH when the finals for the Women's 100m Butterfly?)

GREEN WOMBAT Olympic Update

The aquatic events continued today. The team didn't do great, but still have hopes for medals.

SWIMMING RESULTS (Qualifiers in BOLD):

Men’s 200 m Freestyle—Heats:
Walter Bergstrom: 1:50.01 (12th)
Eric Monge 1:54.93

Men’s 100 m Backstroke—Heats:
Jason Kirschner: 58.34
38 Michael Mastin: 58.42

Men’s 4×100 m Freestyle Relay—Heats:
Green Wombat (Bergstrom/Monge/Peele/Caswell): 3:22.15

Women’s 100 m Backstroke—Heats:
Lori Connor: 1:02.91 (11th)
Pauline Tessier: 1:03.09 (13th)

Women’s 100 m Breaststroke—Heats:
Kristin Stoffel: 1:10.76 (12th)
Nancy Butterworth: 1:12.68

(A look at various communications going on across the Newmanistan delegation)


I. Swimmer’s Meeting- Jennifer Conlin calls in the group to discuss how things are going, especially after the disappointing 4 x 100m Freestyle performance.

Conlin: Ok ladies, I think we really need to address what happened in the relay.

Meghan Johnstone: I’m sorry, I just didn’t get the job done, we all know it was in my leg that we lost the most time, we don’t really need to go there.

Conlin: That’s not why I wanted to bring it up, Meghan. I don’t want to put blame on anyone, we know that we are a great team. We know we had a disappointing day, but there is a lot more for us to do here.

Lauren Biron: Yeah, I think the point is that we can’t be in awe of where we are, or give in to the pressure. Most of us have never been out of One Big Island before. This is all a very new thing, but at the end of the day, it’s a pool, and we swim. Just like at home.

Johnstone: I don’t know if that’s the reason or not, I’ve qualified pretty well.

Biron: We’re also facing the greatest competition that we will ever see.

Conlin: That may be it, we’re used to just being able to coast through heats and make it to the finals, but now in the Olympics, we’re up against the best in the world, and there are a lot of gifted swimmers, in particular.

Kara Brannon: I found that’s all about focus. Like Lauren said, don’t worry about everything else. We’re doing the same things that we would be doing at home.

Courtney Anglin: Yeah and Meghan, I was a little off myself, so no one wants to put the blame solely on you. It’s tough, there’s so many events and we all want to win as many medals as we can, and if you start getting aggravated, things will start to spiral downhill.

Conlin: Don’t worry about the pressure at home. Don’t worry how you’re gonna respond to certain questions and criticism when you get back, or else you will make things a lot harder then they already are.

Biron: And don’t be afraid to tell the critics if they think they can do a better job then to get in the damn pool themselves and do it.

Brannon: And most importantly, have fun. This is the Olympics.


II. Gymnasts Gather

Courtney Connolly: There is like, nothing cooler, then representing your country in the Olympics.

Shawn Curley: Yeah, you ladies did a real good job out there, you should be most proud.

Connolly: Yeah, we are.

Kristen Hilton: I can’t believe the general media doesn’t make us the general favorites though.

Curley: Yeah, the ladies should be. Us men, we’re just contenders.

Ryan McFarland: It doesn’t matter what the media thinks. We knew that they were going to love Ariddia from the moment we got here. Victory is sweetest when you’ve proven the doubters wrong, which you ladies are going to do, and I think us men have a little something for the leaders too.

Connolly: Yeah, I think you guys should be able to pick up a few medals. I really hope that you do.

Jessica Anderson: While we’re here, let’s not forget to soak up the experience. We’re in the freakin’ UCS. Competing against the best in the world. There will never be anything greater for us then what we got right here.

Julie Harding: Not to mention, it’s just a flat out thrill to be competing against them, and to be watching them. It’s the little things like that, that made us all fall in love with the art and pagentry of gymnastics in the first place. Got to meet a lot of them, it’s really fantastic to know how much we have in common despite being from such different cultures.

Anderson: Yeah, that’s what this is all about. When we’re done competing, I am going to make sure to get as much out of this as I can.



III. Equestrian riders meet

Meghan Stover: This is pathetic.

Ashley Foster: Geez, you didn’t need to put down our performances that much.

Stover: No, I mean, our own Olympic recaps, misspell my first name. I bet they get the big name sports right.

Brooke Hughes: Oh, who cares. Let’s just have fun and not worry about that.

Stover: It just shows how we get disrespected as Equestrian riders.

Hughes: You’re right, Meghan, we get disrespected all the time. I’m used to it. It’s never going to change, so stop worrying about it.

Foster: It’s the principle, we’ve worked our butts off to get here just like everyone else has.

Stover: Well at least our own athletes are being nice to us. Now, let’s do what we came here to do and win some medals. Cafundeu is having too easy of a time. We are capable of much better. Let’s do it ladies!



IV. Boxers Brian Gallows and Kevin Scott converse

Gallows: You shoulda kicked that guy’s ass, what in the world happened?

Scott: The refs man. The refs wanted that guy to win.

Gallows: Kevin, I saw the match. And as much as I like you, you stunk. That guy you fought was definitely the deserving winner.

Scott: Yeah well shoot, why didn’t get a first round bye like everyone damn else. I was planning on having one so I went out late the night before and I didn’t even realize until an hour before the match that I was supposed to be fighting a guy in the first round.

Gallows: Well, on the schedule I got, it does say you were supposed to fight in the first round, man.

Scott: I didn’t look at the damn schedule. The nerve of them to schedule me, the great Kevin Scott, to fight in the first round while everyone got byes. I knew there were going to be two first round bouts, but I did not think I would be one of them. Didn’t I earn a bye?

Gallows: Kevin, you’re reputation didn’t earn you a bye. And not checking the schedule, I can’t really defend you on that.

Scott: Yeah you try fighting with nasty hangover. I’d love to have that guy again. I still don’t know what his name is.

Gallows: Pierre Fourgenor

Scott: I lost to someone named Pierre?!?! Now, I’m really pissed. Give me that guy again! Anywhere! Anytime!

Day 08–11 A results (http://www.forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13912854&postcount=8) are now up.

(ooc: CH when the finals for the Women's 100m Butterfly?)
Right now.

CH.... still no Amy Repsher in fencing. What do you have against this poor woman.... all those hard hours of training.... all she wants to do is represent her country! ;)

No biggie, but do you think you could assign an additional "0.1" to another athlete, at random, in another sport to make up for it the two lost events and their corresponding 0.05's ;)

QSPN.com/OLYMPIC COVERAGE

As day 2 ends and day 3 begins for Qazox, here's the latest results:

Softball (Women):
Marcie Mederos allowed only 2 hits all day, but both were homeruns, the 2nd coming in the bottom of the 6th, as Allenea won 2-1. Roslyn Orso went 2-3 with a double in the 4th that scored Odessa Passero.

SCORE SUMMARY
Qazox 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 1
Allanea 0 0 1 0 0 1 x 2


Water Polo (Women):
Despite 5 goals from Allyson Folts, Qazox lost to the Hosts 9-7, allowing 3 golas in the 4th period, dropping them into 3rd place in POOL C. Blackstone and Lueders added the other two scores.

SCORE SUMMARY
Qazox 2 3 2 0 7
SLANI 2 4 0 3 9

Qazox Goals (total Goals):
Allyson Folts- 5 (6)
Lilia Lueders- 1 (4)
Lorrie Blackstone- 1 (2)
Margery Nolley- (1)
Louisa Damian- (1)


Stay tuned to QSPN, QSPN2, QSPNOcho, and QSPNInternational for live coverage of every Qazoxian event, and tune into QSPN.com for 24/7 live streaming video for any competition.

(ooc: Thanks :()

GREEN WOMBAT Olympic Update

The aquatic events continued today. The team is slowly being eliminated from any medal contention in the pool, as our swimmers are drying up quickly in the finals. Perhaps the pressure of the Olympics are to blame, or the inexperience of swimming against other world-class swimmers is getting to them.

SWIMMING RESULTS (Advancers in BOLD):

Men’s 200 m Freestyle—Semifinals:
Walter Bergstrom: 1:46.84 (4th)

Women’s Women’s 100 m Backstroke—Semifinals:
Lori Connor: 1:01.57 (11th)
Pauline Tessier: 1:02.35

Women’s 100 m Breaststroke—Semifinals:
Kristin Stoffel: 1:07.73 (4th) (new GW Record; Old record: 1:08:03, Stoffel, GW Olympic Qualifiers)

Women’s 100 m Butterfly—Final
Ruby Lindell: 58.41 (7th)

OLYMPIC ROCKET REPORT

QUIET MEDAL DAY RESULTS IN BRONZE

Columbia, Unified Capitalizt States- The early session of the 3rd day of the 3rd Olympiad was reasonably quiet in regards to medal events, with just five events awarding medals. Newmansitan was not completely shut out of the medal board, picking up a bronze in the Women’s 100m Butterfly with Meghan Johnstone, the first medal for a female swimmer in the Olympiad. But in spite of that bronze, you had the feeling that Newmanistan squandered some medal opportunities, especially in the Men’s 4 x 100m Freestyle Relay. After the women inexplicably choked in their version of the event, the men were hoping to make up for it. They had a great performance in qualifying, with a time of 3:15.24. The second place team of Krytenia was close behind, but 1.8 seconds back to the third place team from Kelssek. So, the medal hopes were alive, and surely there would be no choke job again. But like the women, the men could not medal, although their performance wasn’t quite as bad as the ladies, they were 2.7 seconds slower then their qualifier. Speak to any swimmer, and they will tell you that there is simply no excuse for losing that kind of time from qualifying to the race, and if anything the race time should be better. Case in point, the top two finishers had a time better then Newmanistan’s 1st place time in qualifying. Dave Perotti, afterward, commented, “I don’t know if its nerves. If it’s pressure, or what. Dropping 2.7 is something there is no excuse for. We didn’t get it done, and we all apologize for letting the Empire down.” Elsewhere, Kara Brannon was 5th in the 400m Freestyle final, though she didn’t quite have the same expectation. With all that, credit must be given to Meghan Johnstone for placing 3rd and winning a bronze medal in the 100m Butterfly, especially after many people looked at her as the reason for the ineffectiveness of the relay team. Johnstone told us that the relay was all the motivation she needed, “While the relay is over with, we’re all remembering it as a way to have us keep our focus in the rest of the events. It showed us, that while we are confident in our own abilities, we are competing against a level that we have never seen before. It is an honor to be in the pool with them, and I hope that the fans are enjoying it. At the same time though, we cannot be intimidated by them, or all of the cameras and attention that is all of the sudden, on swimming. I think we’re starting to come around and I hope my medal is just the start of good thing for all of the Aquatic Rockets.” Was she pleased with it being bronze, and not gold? She answered, “I’m happy to win a medal. When you’re a kid and having the Olympic dreams, it’s never a bronze at the end of it, but really this medal represents a lot. It takes a lot to get this, and I am very, very proud of it. Maybe I will get a gold somewhere else, but right now I am honored to have the bronze.”


Now, lets take a look around the pool in other qualifying events. Dave Perotti and Nate Compston have set themselves up nicely in the 200m Freestyle, as they posted the fastest two times in qualifying. While by now we have learned that this doesn’t mean anything in terms of performance when medals are on the line, the hope is that both of them can do as Johnstone did, and build off the lesson that occurred in the relay. Compston also topped the leaderboard in the 100m Backstroke. “It has the potential to be a great day,” he said, “But it also has potential to be a disappointing day, so rest assured that I will get a good night sleep, and be focused on my events and ready to go out there and do the best that I possibly can.” Disappointing is the only way to describe the semifinal in the Women’s 100m Backstroke as both Jennifer Conlin and Lauren Biron failed to make the final, but they rebounded in the Breaststroke of the same distance to both make the field, and they will be in lanes 3 & 6, respectively. Interestingly, in this event, there are three nations with two participants. In addition to us, Secristan and the hosts, have two representatives. We have a gut feeling that this is going to be a very entertaining final.


In other individual events, Newmanistan bowed out in the second round to Fujisawan Territories in the Men’s Team Archery Competition. The Territories are looked at as one of the main teams to beat in this event.........Dale Minter lost in the 2nd round of the men’s singles in badminton, thereby eliminating all our entrants, though again, no shocker there. Minter was also eliminated in the double event with Alex Rollins, however John Porter and Jim Vorman as well as Martin Belle and Russell Rayfield each defeated teams from Secristan to move on to the second round in that event. Susan Carpenter did the best she could, but her run came to an end in the third round of the women’s singles........... Stu Collett advanced to the second round in the Croquet demonstration event though Bernice Oldenhopfer was defeated........... In Equestrian, Meghan Stover, who wrote to us here at the Rocket Report demanding respect for Equestrian riders, continues to be the best performer in Eventing, although she is behind a Cafundeu threesome. Come on Meghan, beat those Cafundeu people! Jessica DeLuca and Ashley Foster each had very good performances in the Cross Country portion........... In the Individual Foil of fencing, Amy Repsher was all ready to go to battle when told that there was still an error with the paperwork in her entry. If not fixed for the next event, Repsher threatened to use her sword on those in charge of the paperwork. Of those able to duel, Jennifer Bupree and Emily Stoddard, each visibly angered at what their teammate is going through, struggled, and lost in the second round after getting byes in the first............. Jesse Rarick was completely taken to school on the art of Judo by Secristan’s Masashi Sunako in the 73 Kg Men’s division’s second round, and Kathleen McLean lost in the first round of the Women’s 57kg.............. Brian Dawe had a strong qualification round in the Shooting Men’s 10m Air Rifle, but didn’t quite have enough to medal, finishing 5th. Tara Kelly finished 4th, behind a 3-way tie which all set an Olympic record in the Women’s Trap. She was just one point behind the threesome, so we could be in store for a truly fantastic final here as well.......... In the Tug of War, we defeated some impressively built women from Roumberre to move on to the second round in that demonstration event.

Now, for the team events. Things overall seem to be going pretty well in these. Particularly impressive has been our handball team, both genders, not just because of their now 2-0 record, but because of the way that they handled their opponent. Tonight, the ladies disposed of the Landau Institute by the score of 32-20, in a match that was never close, as the Rockets never trailed nor were they ever tied...... The Lacrosse team won a big game against Taeshan, but then again, we always beat Taeshan. As the Rockets did in the semifinal of the World Lacrosse Championship, they defeated this opponent once again, by the score of 9-4. Taeshan really seemed to struggle with the added commitment in which the Rockets have had to defense in this tournament. Keith Taylor scored four in the win........Softball got under way, but for most everyone else. We had a bye on the first matchday....... The women’s indoor volleyball team cruised to a straight set victory over the Bluth Corporation, 25-15, 25-16, 25-17. Newmanistan has yet to lose a set in either of their two matches, and have looked very good while doing so...... We also defeated the mighty Corporation in Women’s Water Polo, by the score of 7-6. Down 6-5 with 1:20 left in the game, the Rockets scored two late stunning goals to completely shock the Bluth Corporation at the end of the match.

With all this said, Newmanistan stands in a tie for 12th with the hosts on the medal board, having won a total of 5 medals, three of them bronze, and one each of silver and gold. It’s not a terrible start, but we can only hope that there will be one big breakout day for us soon.

PETERSEN; GYMNASTS GET STARTED

West Pocono’s biggest medal threat, Courtney Petersen, finally got her chance to show what she could do here in Columbia and the team showed that they could hold their own against the best in the World. Are they in first? Well, not exactly, but overall they seem to be pretty happy with where they stand, which at the moment, is 6th as a team. If West Pocono is going to medal, this is going to be the best chance. Women’s Artistic Gymnasts. We can look at the overall scoreboard and perhaps easily point out that the team has a lot more work to do if they want to do better then the likes of Ariddia, Newmanistan, Cafundeu, or Secristan. While behind Unified Beretania as well, the difference there is pretty close. Cracking the top three is not going to be easy, but no one is about to give up.

Individually, Courtney Petersen is looked to, as we have said countless times, be the one to deliver medals, and she qualified for two individual events within this category thanks to her strong performance, but so too, did Jessica Dempsey. Additionally, both Ashley Raynes and Jessica MacNeill will be in a single event. Petersen talked to us about how the team has come together, “We have very good chemistry with one another,” she said, “We want to win a medal so badly, geez, I think we would be happy with just one. Just one so that we can be there on the leaderboard with the great nations of the world, and moreso, the great nations within the region and hope to use this to gain some respect.” Dempsey agreed, “We have been very laid back, very carefree, and are just enjoying out moment. This is fun, and as much as we want to win medals, and especially of the golden variety, we’re not going to let anything get in the way of us having a good time here. We want to make a good showing for our country.”

Though gymnastics is probably our strongest shot, we having some athletes working hard to win medals, and respect, in other events as well. The Women’s Indoor Volleyball team were victorious in their only match to date, and it was done in straight sets. In Softball, we not only beat, but routed the Bluth Corporation by the score of 6-0, a result that actually is against a quality side, so let’s get excited about that! Lacrosse is going real well, it’s a shame that it is only a demonstration event. We defeated Allanea 17-12 and improved our record to 2-0, and look pretty good as we sit atop Group A. We’ve also had some very strong play in beach volleyball recently, both with the men and women. It’s enough to make us be very proud so far. Maybe soon, we’ll earn a medal.

Virginia Dunston stopped for the seventh time to pose with her medal, forcing Chatchaha Azumaro and Meghan Johnstone to stop and pose with her - again.

Thousands of kilometres away the lunch crowd at a Kirkenes sports bar turned from cheering to groaning.

"Not again!"

"We'll never get to the next event at this rate!"

"That's just rubbing it in; I wonder why the silver and bronze winners don't just dump her in the pool and get on with it..."

It was at this moment of weakness that the KBC camera crew pounced.

"Virginia Dunston, first gold medal for Kelssek, how are you feeling right now?"

"It's just, fantastic, I'm really happy. Like you said, wow."

"Thank you very much, Virginia, go and enjoy yourself now."

She woohooed into the camera and went off into the locker room. First gold medal for Kelssek. Yeaaahh....

---
http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r56/kelchek/media/kbc-icon.gif

OLYMPIC REPORT PODCAST - AUGUST 11, 2008

http://media.switchpod.com/users/kelssek/olympicreport20080811.mp3

“…nches from the line, Ferrin touches home for gold, BUT IT’S BRAAAAAAARNZ! MARCO! ANTONIO! GABRIEL! DE ANDA! He’s third, it’s bronze, it’s C&M’s first EVER Olympic medal… Remarkable stuff! Remarkable!”

“It’s fourth, Joe.”

“…a new lifetime best for Marco Antonio, it’s bronze for C&M, our first ever podium finish, and the man they call the seahorse… This is simply fantastic!”

“He finished fourth, Joe.”

“It’s been quite a day for C&M in the pool, Ornella Albano just outside the medals, Olivie Harris is through to the hundred-metre backstroke finals, and there could still be more to come, there’s the heats of the two-hundred butterfly, in the men’s, the two-hundred women’s freestyle…”

“Only by four one-hundredths of a second, mind you, but he’s still fourth…”

“…gand going for C&M in those, but here and now, Marco Antonio Gabriel de Anda, say it loud, say it proud; Magda the Seahorse has C&M’s FIRST EVER MEDAL at the Olympics, and there’s the seventy-three kay-jee judo to come, that’s going to be an incredible contest, Yoon Sung-Young up against Masashi Sunako in the quarter-finals with Joseph Kabir awaiting the winner, surely he can’t add to this golden day for Candelariasian sport?”

“Fourth, Joe.”

“Marco just walking past our camera team there, I don’t know whether Aisha can get a quick word… no… No, well I expect he’s simply overawed by this achievement, C&M swimming is well as truly on the map, and it’s Trayectoria del Encargado hero Marco Antonio Gabriel de Anda who takes the bronze, this is truly, truly, wonderf–”

*THOOM*

*Pp*




“Err… Joe? Darryl? You guys still there?”



“I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry. I just… I just couldn’t listen to it any more…”

“Darryl?”



“Darryl?”



“Mike, for God’s sake cut to the lacrosse.”

http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d77/baranxi/Baranxtu/bcologosmall.png

"Heh, you already said that. ... no, I'm glad you called. I'm happy that both of ya are proud of me, mom. ... no, the food is not terrible. ... yes, I'm eating enough. Really. Promise. ... no, I'm not lying. ... no, you don't need to send... no! No food packages! ... yeah, well, say hi to Dad for me. bye. love ya. ... no, I can't ask whether they'll let me have two medals so you can send one to Granny! ... NO! BYE!"

"Your mother seems to have... peculiar ideas, Þalli." Nirina came into the room after having listened at the door for a few minutes.

"If it'd had been gold, she'd probably have come right here to start polishing it."

"At least she cares for your competitions. Mine, though... right after she congratulated me on my silver, she asked me whether there are any proper Baranxtiman boys here and if any would interest me."

"'Proper... Baranxtiman... boys'?" Þalhaśi let every word roll off his tongue with sadistic pleasure.

"She's a bit... old-fashioned," Nirina admitted.

"I'm Baranxtiman. Last time I checked, I was a boy. Can't promise about the proper part, though." He chuckled.

Nirina grinned back at him. "This would be more flattering if you weren't watching the guys' boxing matches with such, ahem, particular interest."

Þalhaśi's smile turned sheepish. "Mehmehmeh. As if you're so subtle. Why did you come here, anyways? Nayani's mostly hanging out with that Cikoutimian clique."

---

Pierre patted Harri on the shoulder. "Everybody fucks up from time to time. Don't take it so badly."

"Oh, go fuck yourself, Fourgenor. You can gloat alright after you beat that Scott guy. That was a pretty much flawless show. I didn't just fuck it up. I redefined fucking up. They can put a picture of that match in the fuckin' dictionary next to 'to fuck sth up'."

"Fine. Be that way. I know it sucks. It happened to me in a lot of fights at home, too. Sometimes, you just blow it. If you make a comment about my mother at this point, I will beat you to death with a chair. I know it's tough, I know it's hard, but it's not my job to cheer you up, and it's not that of the rest of the team, either. But if you want to sulk around, do it somewhere else and don't drag everyone else down with you.
Look at others who got beat. The women Badminton players are all out, you don't see them sitting in a corner moping. They're out somewhere in Columbia, tripling some club's profits all by themselves. Think about this.
I'm not on again till Thursday. I'll go out tonight. If you want to, you can join me. If not, don't.""

---

Excerpt of the transcript of the "International Sport Review" on the BT-FNC English

"...the BCO team saw to more silver medals gained today. Þalhaśi Zilpati made 2nd place in the 100m breastroke with a time of 1:00.25s after Secristan's Larry Ferrin. Nirina Simhala won silver at the 400m freestyle after being only narrowly beaten by Natália Franco of Cafundéu.

Marxi Ahefani missed the qualification for the 200m Freestyle finals. Nekeri Kitnareo made 7th place in the 100m backstroke semifinals, beating out among others fellow BCO athlete Baranxi Meomi who reached 12th place and did thus not qualify.

The 4x100m freestyle relay was won by the Krytenian team Obikwelu/Bouin/van Outen/Verdi, followed by Montgisard's Ritter/Hurley/Grevers/McGinnis and Kenavt's da Vincho/Govacs/Nim/Poi.

On to the women's aquatic events. Mexida Zumbala qualified for the 100m backstroke finals today; however, fellow swimmer Antwanette Bourj failed to be among the first 8 in the 100m breastroke semifinals.


On the second indoors volleyball matchday, the BCO team was defeated by the Maineacs with 25-14, 25-19, 25-14.


Our men's archery team, after receiving a bye in the first round, was kicked at the hands of Gerainia's team with a narrow defeat of 240-244.


In badminton's second round in the men's singles, Jon-Pol Merani prevailed against Wentland's Martin Eden 21-8 and 21-10; Kampio Petaneke lost against Unified Beretania's Chad Kinder.

In the first round of the men's doubles, the team Merani-Neuwille won their match against Wentland's Eden and Kane; Neuwille-Petaneke managed to beat Larsson and Sisson Krytenia 21-10, 22-20, 21-9. The team up Merani-Petaneke, however, failed to defend themselves against Roumberrians Onrry de Summer and Fronkwarr DuBwarr with 10-21, 21-17, 8-21.


Our equestrian results are less impressive; Seti Iraka manages to hold on to his fifth place without incurring penalties in today's cross-country event; his fellow riders had no such luck.


In the women's individual foil, all three BCO contestants - Arbeau, Keoke and Maanagy - were eliminated during the first three rounds. Nadine Arbeau was defeated by Allanea's Alla Romanova, Maka Keoke by Maineiac's Anna Mireio in the second round. After winning against Newmanistan's Emily Stoddard in the second round, Sara Maanagy lost to Roumberre's Callista d'Ursini in the third round.


Our lady handballers could score a surprising win on their second matchday, beating out the team of Ariddian Isles 29-21.

The softball team also prevailed against their foe today, winning 0-5 against the women from Secristan.


For the results of shooting, please let me remind you to check with the official website of the Olympics or our Cikoutimian or Otean broadcasting partners.

I'm Jennifer Htaŋita, and this was the International Sports Review. Please tune in back to us after the 7pm news."

---
OC:
Scott: I lost to someone named Pierre?!?! Now, I’m really pissed. Give me that guy again! Anywhere! Anytime!
Pierre was so fierce :p

CH.... still no Amy Repsher in fencing. What do you have against this poor woman.... all those hard hours of training.... all she wants to do is represent her country! ;)

No biggie, but do you think you could assign an additional "0.1" to another athlete, at random, in another sport to make up for it the two lost events and their corresponding 0.05's ;)
Fencing—Women’s Individual Foil—First Round
[…]
Voirrey Breeshey (MAI) 15–9 Amy Repsher (NEW)
I checked when I scorinated that event to make sure she was in it ;)

To the organisers, 3rd Summer Olympic Games,

Sirs,
I wish to make a formal complaint about the management of this tournament's Fencing section. This morning, in the Women’s Individual Foil contest, Alexandra Brumas who is one of my own nation's entrants won her match in the 1st Round Karima Marrona (JSY) 11–15 Alexandra Brumas (RMB) but it was the woman whom she'd beaten who was actually called forwards to participate in the 2nd Round in her place. WHY?!?


Alexandre Brumas [senior],
Chairbear, Committee Olympic Roumberee,
Chancellor of the University of Baree,
and
Angry Father!

To the organisers, 3rd Summer Olympic Games,

Sirs,
I wish to make a formal complaint about the management of this tournament's Fencing section. This morning, in the Women’s Individual Foil contest, Alexandra Brumas who is one of my own nation's entrants won her match in the 1st Round but it was the woman whom she'd beaten who was actually called forwards to participate in the 2nd Round in her place. WHY?!?


Alexandre Brumas [senior],
Chairbear, Committee Olympic Roumberee,
Chancellor of the University of Baree,
and
Angry Father!
Upon investigation of your appeal, it has been found that the second-round bout was held between Dana Caruso and Alexandra Brumas, but that the wrong name was recorded in the results. The results will now be corrected accordingly.

—Joakina Martínesa
Director of Operations, COLOCOG

COLUMBIA GAMES REPORT
Billet and McOwen in first-round action

Ad’ihan's journey in its inaugural Olympics continued in the tennis yesterday and softball today, with Robert Grenwich getting a lucky bye through the first round in the men's singles first round tennis.

However, Grenwich's doubles partner, François Billet, lost his match in three sets to Sean Miskell of Bluth Corporation 5-7 7-6 (7-4) 1-6. Billet, who looked to be in control after a solid tiebreak win in the second set, collapsed in the final set despite winning the first game after taking a medical timeout.

Miskell sensed his opponent's weakness and easily took the next six games in a row in just 33 minutes. Billet, who later confirmed that the issue was cramp in his right thigh, said that he would not be withdrawing from the doubles. "I'm ready to go out there with Robert," he told Radio Ad’ihan International.

Meanwhile, flagbearer Martina McOwen easily overcame her opponent, Rachel Loukes of West Pocono, in straight sets, winning 7-5 6-4 in just a little over an hour. She faces Nuevos Aires' Clarette Justy, while Grenwich will face Alin Pesco of Bulgislavia.

Elsewhere in competition, the Ad’ihani softball team won their opening pool match against Coocoostan this morning by a single run, winning 1-0 with a walk-off home run in the bottom of the 7th inning from shortstop Michelle Adanski.

This comes as the team's chef-de-mission, Luke Evans, revealed that the Comité national olympique pour les îles ad’ihanais (COIA) had revised its original goal for these Games downwards from five medals to one medal.

"Given our number of entries in these Games, perhaps five medals was, well, over-optimistic. We strongly believe that we can achieve at least our first-ever medal," he said in a statement.

Upon investigation of your appeal, it has been found that the second-round bout was held between Dana Caruso and Alexandra Brumas, but that the wrong name was recorded in the results. The results will now be corrected accordingly.

—Joakina Martínesa
Director of Operations, COLOCOG

To Joakina Martínesa, Director of Operations, COLOCOG,

Sir,
Are you trying to claim that I don't recognise my own daughter when I see her? That wasn't her, in fact -- despite whatever the contest's judges may have told you in an attempt to save their hides -- that wasn't even an Ursine at all: It was a human, the 'Karima Marrona' whom they originally listed as having taken part in that round.
If this matter is not truly set right, and Alexandra Brumas given her earned chance to continue in competition, I shall consider sending my second to call on you.


Yours indignantly,

Alexandre Brumas [senior],
Chairbear, Committee Olympic Roumberee,
Chancellor of the University of Baree,
and
Angry Father!

_______________________________________________________

OOC: Did you re-scorinate that 2nd Round match (whose original results I've misplaced...), or just switch the names over? If it was the former then, given enough witnesses IC swearing to your side of the matter being true, Alexandre will eventually admit that a blow to the head that he took during the Chess Boxing may have left him slightly concussed and thus vulnerable to confusion... but if you simply swapped the names over, despite the difference in those fencers' ratings (Alexandra Brumas 1.0, Karima Marrona 0.5), then he [and I] will continue insist that the judges' did so and to raise a fuss. Make of it as much, or as little, as you will...

A Team And A Dream. The Story of The Taeshan Olympic Team

In Yet another unsuprising event the Taeshan Lacrosse team Lost in there second round match with Newmanistan. This is unsuprising as the Knights have never beaten the Rocket Lacrosse Team. Rowan Qwarant scored all four of the Teams scores. In Badmiton are final two competitors were knocked out, Nicole Reilly on the Womens side suprised everyone by making it to the third round lost in a fast one, and Smithy Forester after a bye couldn't get it going on the mens side. Finally in Volleyball the Womens Team pounded the Capitalizt Slani team in 3 straight sets 25-4, 25-4, 25-6. Theyre trying to catch up to the mens teams poundings i guess.

Day 08–11 B results (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13914119&postcount=9) are now up.

OOC: Did you re-scorinate that 2nd Round match (whose original results I've misplaced...), or just switch the names over? If it was the former then, given enough witnesses IC swearing to your side of the matter being true, Alexandre will eventually admit that a blow to the head that he took during the Chess Boxing may have left him slightly concussed and thus vulnerable to confusion... but if you simply swapped the names over, despite the difference in those fencers' ratings (Alexandra Brumas 1.0, Karima Marrona 0.5), then he [and I] will continue insist that the judges' did so and to raise a fuss. Make of it as much, or as little, as you will...
I scorinated the match correctly, but put the wrong name when I formatted the results.

Prux's Olympic Blog

Day 3/4 and Our women's Basketball team is 2-0 following a 74-65 win over Jasīʼyūn. Currently ties with Secristan, the team is off to a good start and only needs another win or two to advance to the next round. Sena Seuell lead the way with 17 points and 11 rebounds, while Caroyln Fierra added 16 points.

Score by Quarter:

Jasiyun 21 13 20 11 65
Prux 19 20 17 18 74


That's all so far from Columbia, UCS.

GREEN WOMBAT Olympic Update

The aquatic events continued today. And once again, while good enough to qualify for the next round, so far none of our swimmers have medaled.

SWIMMING RESULTS (Advancers in BOLD):

Men’s 200 m Butterfly—Heats:
(14th)
Danny Wheat: 2:01.85

Women’s 200 m Freestyle—Heats:
Iris Seng: 2:04.73
Judy Wagstaff: 2:06.06

Women’s Women’s 200 m Individual Medley—Heats:
[B]Audrey Wallace: 2:16.84 (11th)
Jenny Messina: 2:17.21 (t14th)

Hoji Metropolitan Daily Record Online
Fujisawans win gold, silver, and bronze

Gold: Men’s Team Archery
Silver: Women’s Team Archery
Silver: Chatchaha Azumaro, Women’s 100m Butterfly
Bronze: Sumiko Kawasaki, Women’s Judo 52kg

Columbia, UCS - Joining Jozenna Nai, gold medalist in the women’s 400m individual medley at the pool, are the Fujisawan Territories’ men’s archery team. When they defeated Krytenia 253-245 for gold, they tied the Olympic record of 253, set by Wentland in Ashford. The women’s team also medaled, taking home silver, after losing the gold meal match to Wentland, 248-232.

Chatchaha Azumaro came in second in the women’s 100m butterfly final to Virginia Dunston of Kelssek, adding a silver medal to the Fujisawan Territories tally.

In a pleasant surprise to most, Sumiko Kawasaki won bronze in women’s judo. In the quaterfinals of the event, Kawasaki was defeated by Admina Mwakingwe of Ariddia, who later went on to win gold. Then in the repêchage rounds, Kawasaki defeated Fan Mae of Bears Armed in the first round, and Millie Runssen of Krytenia in the second round. Finally in the bronze medal bout, Kawasaki defeated Samara Geisha of Allanea to win a bronze. Doctor Dóris Estrela of the Landau Institute won the other bronze in the event by defeating Kate Bass of Kelssek.

Elsewhere...

Association Football (Men’s)
Cafundéu 2, Fujisawan Territories 0

Basketball (Men’s)
Bluth Corporation 89, Fujisawan Territories 82

Cycling Women’s Road Race
Diet Yam finished the race in twenty second with a time of 3:26:52, while Sharina Nakakama finished fourth, with a time of 3:25:20, behind Debbie Christensen of Newmanistan, Kitty Dennis of Maineiacs, and Michaela Astarloza of Krytenia.

Women’s Artistic Gymnastics
The Fujisawan Territories qualified for the team final, while Tokurin Chi qualified for the floor exercise final, and Ajitawa Yukatsuko on the high bars, pommel horse, rings, and individual all around.

Swimming
Men’s 200m Freestyle
Kavajirak Matsunami qualified for the semifinal in tenth with a time of 1:49.95. In the semifinal, Matsunami finished in third with a time of 1:45:90, qualifying for the final.

Men’s 100m Backstroke
Kwan Kawasaki qualified for the semifinal in first, with a time of :55.35, and Dhini Azaki qualified in sixteenth with a time of :56.28. In the semifinals, Kawasaki finished in third, with a time of 54.82, qualifying for the final.

Men’s 200m Butterfly
Chai Tsugimoto qualified for the semifinal in fifth with a time of 1:57.96.

Women’s 200m Freestyle
Midori Ko qualified for the semifinal in fifth with a time of 2:01.07.

The Gun and Ball
Allanea's Sports Magazine

Ladies and gentlemen, the unbelievable has happened! Possibly in the first time in the history of this magazine, the editorial board of the Gun and Ball was actuall wrong about something! A day ago we said some pessimistical stuff about this nation's chances at any kind of decent performance – perhaps even something about eggs and baskets.

Well, we are wrong, and we are glad to be wrong. Stella Fallwell – now officially the world's best woman with a shotgun – and Althanas Blackleaf, now the world's best man (or actually, elf) with an air rifle – have brought home two additional gold medals, to complement Lisa Christie, who broke the Olympic Record, hefting 202.5 kilograms of metal into the air. So far, we have three, and are only trailing Baranxtu-Cikoutimi-Otea in the medal standings.

We would like to also thank our silver medalists - Winston Wolf, with his near-perfect performance at Men's Trap, Goreta Ganda, whose performance even against Tan Sue – who ended up besting her in the finals – was astonishing in its grace and speed. Martha Higgings was awesome with a shotgun too – but not quite awesome, as we said, as Stella. You need to work on that trigger pull, Stella.

What is clear, however, is that this is not the first time an Allanean sets a record, wins a medal, or does something unbelievably awesome in front of the cameras. It is, however, the first time The Gun and Ball makes a mistake – and we admit it, too!

Subscribers, readers, it is clear – we at The Gun and Ball are not only awesome – we are also modest about it!

It was a dilemma for the newspaper reporters. How to report the events of the latest Olympic events?

Well, they started with the negatives.

Men's archery team - OUT

Badminton second round - OUT

Badminton doubles - OUT

Equestrian - LAST

Women's foil - OUT, OUT and OUT

Women's medley - OUT

Martina Henzies - OUT

But the journalists were paged to attend the badminton hall. Something rather extraordinary was going on. It was well past midnight and there was still a game in progress. There had been some success earlier - Lydia Costa and Emma Gayle had reached the semi-finals in a straight sets victory - and both still had singles matches following. Gayle cruised through hers, but the Wentland pin-up was involved in a titanic struggle with Ciara McAuley of Kura-Pelland.

And it was personal. Emma Gayle had stayed on to give her partner moral support. Gayle's chances in the mixed doubles had been ended by McAuley and she wanted revenge by proxy. "C'mon, Lyd!!! Shove it up her!!!!"

Lydia Costa was desperate to comply. The first set had been lost by the tightest of margins. The second set lasted 30 minutes and had been won by the tightest of margins. Now they were in the third and it was 18-14 to the Kura-Pelland girl.

"McAuley to serve, on the brink of victory...it's a drop serve and Costa LEAVES IT...it is SHORT...18-15 and the serve returns to Costa..."

"That might have been tactical, Geoff...McAuley prefers to receive than serve, she took a risk, if it had come off she would have been two away from victory..."

"Well, Geoff, it's up to Costa to serve...and she drops one and IT'S IN!!! McAuley left it and it bounced just IN..."

"Well, Geoff, that was definitely tactical, McAuley couldn't believe Costa would repeat her serve..."

"Costa again to serve. 16-18. It's long, return, Costa at the back, McAuley and that's WIDE...well, Geoff...that was a tired-looking shot from McAuley, she never got on top of it..."

"Indeed, Geoff, and now it's 17-18 with Costa serving again...fakes a drop and McAuley is running back and her return is SMASHED!!! EIGHTEEN-ALL!!! What a set of strokes from Costa..."

"Indeed, Geoff! She's right back in it and the crowd is going bonkers! Three points for either player will win it..."

"Costa to serve, you could hear a pin drop...flicked back, over, back...and McAuley has control of this point...Costa is all OVER the court...McAuley with a smash and Costa flicks it back and McAuley OH!!!! INTO THE NET!!! WITH THE COURT GAPING!!!"

"Tremendous will to win from Costa!!! It's 19-18!!!! Two points for the match!!!!"

"She serves again, it's long, and now it's conservative, neither player wanting to make a mistake...long shots, well over the net...OHHH, McAuley slips and Costa HITS A WINNER!!!"

"YEEESSS!!! COME ON LID!!! KILL THE BITCH!!!!! WHOOOOO!!!!!"

"Quiet please."

"It is match point and Lydia Costa serves for the match...she aims for the back of the court...McAuley leaves it and IT'S IN!!! SHE'S DONE IT!!!! LYDIA COSTA IS IN THE QUARTER-FINALS..."

"A tremendous match! What a performance after that doubles game earlier in the day...Lydia Costa somehow dragged herself from the depths of defeat..."

"And now she is three games away from the gold...who does she play in the last eight, Geoff?"

"Er...oh."

Albavona Capitol Sentinel Online
More disappointment for Beretanian swimmers

Columbia, UCS - Sarasvati Channrayaptra topped the field in the pool in the heats for the women’s 100m breaststroke, and Lorette Shufflebarger did the same in the heats for the women’s 100m backstroke, indicating promising early results. Yet neither could advance out of their respective semifinals, with Shufflebarger finishing fifteen in the 100m backstroke semifinal, with a time of 1:02.16, and Channarayapatra finishing in eleventh in the 100m breaststroke, with a time of 1:08.85.

A protectorate of the Fujisawan Territories, Unified Beretania hasn’t won any medals yet. The delegation had been built with swimming in mind, and few anticipated Channarayapatra’s underwhelming performance at these Games. Instead, the Beretanian’s are growing a tad envious of the Fujisawans two swimming medals, a gold for Jozenna Nai in the women’s 400m individual medley, and Chatchaha Azumaro’s silver from the women’s 100m butterfly.

“We’ve trained hard for our events. We’ve done everything we possibly can in getting our swimmers ready for the Olympics. All I can say is that the competition is tough to beat. The early results are a bit disappointing and discouraging. Right now we’re focused on getting every body settled down, and refocused,” said Ray Montegra, a head swimming coach for Unified Beretania.

“It’s bittersweet, being here in the Olympics and competing with the world’s best, and being so close, but at the same time, what you give is not enough. It’s frustrating, but at the end of the day, I’m asking myself if I pushed hard enough and really gave it my all. I’m not going to let it [the women’s 100m freestyle] slip through my hands,” Channaryapatra said after the 100m breaststroke semifinal.

“It’s kind of demoralizing to see the Fujisawans doing so well because I think we are fighting just as hard, and putting in just as much as they are. But that’s what’s going to give me the incentive to give my all in the 100m [freestyle] and I know we can be as good as the Fujis,” Shufflebarger said shortly after her semifinal.

Shufflebarger still has the 50m freestyle, 100m freestyle, and 4x100m medley relay left to compete in.

Channaryapatra will be competing in the 100m freestyle, and the 4x200m freestyle relay.

The Albrecht Herald Online>Sport>Olympics>Opinion
Naysayers speak too early
Mack Hession in Columbia

As the three neighbouring nations of Baranxtu, Cikoutimi, and Otea increased their lead at the top of the medals table, the COCACAMAO has held firm to their lofty target of three medals for Team C&M, despite press criticism.

Concerns that the governing body of Candelarias sport has put undue pressure on the squad have mounted today, as more medal hopefuls fell by the wayside. Yoon Sung-Young was outclassed by Secristan’s Masashi Sunako in his judo class this afternoon, with Kelssek’s Andrew Gillard coming from behind with a late ippon a short time ago in the second round of the bronze medal repêchage. C&M have been cut down to a single challenger in the badminton singles, with Pearce Pedotti – widely perceived in C&M as a realistic contender for three medals across the three available sections in her sport – eliminated early from all three. Road racer Hernando López Ramos got lost; while his counterpart on the women’s race, Penny Enomoto, failed to challenge even the chasing pack. The much-vaunted Jenni Smith failed to touch the Ariddian, Newmanistanian and Cafundelense teams in the women’s gymnastics, while just one man remains in the tennis draw – Florin Cantle, the sixth-ranked player in the Candelarias.

But COCACAMAO chairman Tommy Flowers hit out at the day’s negative talk as “Monday grumbles”, and insisted that his organisation’s predictions were “conservative, if anything”.

While with three days gone C&M are yet to trouble the medals table, they are far from alone – Ad’ihan, the Eesseff, Qazox, Taeshan and Zwangzug are among those without a place among the twenty-four nations to have hit precious metals. Of the top countries, neither Baranxtu, Cikoutimi nor Otea, nor Allanea, Secristan or Roumberre ring massive bells in world sport, and with thirteen days left to go there remains plenty of opportunities for Olympic success for Team C&M.

As much as anything else; in no way is that even the point of these Games. The drama we have witnessed already was just as gripping without Candelariasian involvement, and if Olympic records have hardly tumbled thus far, still there have been awe-inspiring individual performances from athletes from across the globe. Just because you can’t think of any off the top of your head, doesn’t mean they didn’t happen.

Okay, yes, you may need to fight the urge to ruthlessly attack every Kura-Pellandi you might come into contact with at the moment. But – and it’s an old theme I know, but we must stress it again – when did we become so, to put it frankly, un-Candelariasian, as to expect instant success? Hang fire! Just today we have seen María Núñez advance into the last eight in the women’s badminton. Marco Antonio Gabriel de Anda and Ornella Albano were both horribly unlucky to finish in (Awooga! Awooga! Cliché Alert!) the cruellest position of all, in their respective finals. Olivia Harris will have an opportunity to go one better tomorrow.

The basketball stars edged out Neuvos Aires, and every chance of qualification from the group stage remains. Our men’s field hockey team – favourites, lest we forget, favourites for the gold – dominated the sort-of-hosts JSY three-one. Anissa Lock and Kelsey Xureb are through to the double skulls final with the second-best time. Nobody knows what a skull is in this context, never mind how you pronounce Xureb, and yet they’re through to the final! And there’s bocce tomorrow, people!

Team C&M possess enough stars to yet ensure a golden fortnight for Candelariasian sport. Mr Flowers, on this occasion, is quite right. Cheer up everyone. At least one of the bocce teams has got to win, right?

OOC - Hmmmm; still only a couple of athletes in action. Clearly a second week sort of nation, aren't I?

THE OFFICIAL ARCHREGIMANCY MONASTIC OLYMPIC CALENDAR

APRIL

Fr. Just the Pilgrim
20 & 50km walk

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a319/vakraas/32.jpg

Favourite Famous Saint: The Holy and Glorious Apostle Thomas
Favourite Obscure Saint: St John Jacob the Chozebite
Favourite Colour: Black
Favourite Monastery: St. Sava's in the Forest
Likes: Walking. And that's about it, really. I just really love walking
Dislikes: Running, jogging, crawling, generally moving without walking
Olympic Dream: Winning the 50km walk after silently reciting the Jesus prayer without interruption during the event

From MSPN--

Here are today's results:

Archery:

Our Men's team advanced to the bronze medal match, but lost to Capitalizt SLANI 252-241.

Badminton:

Vibol and Sopheap Parmansupol beat Rubert West and Frranch West of Bears Armed 21-4 21-10 in Men's Doubles. In Women's Singles, Pakpao Adulyadej beat Pearce Pedotti of Candelaria And Marquez in the third round 21-12 21-12, while Sukon Bhumanipam and Pakpao Adulyadej beat Guang-Ming Lin and Andrea Sopwith of Kelssek in the quarterfinals of Women's Doubles 21-17 21-11.

Basketball:

Another easy victory for our Women's team, 85-65 over Unified Beretania.

Boxing:

Umberto Sanchez received a first round bye in the Lightweight class.

Croquet:

Tom Parker won in the first round of the Men's Competition 2-0, and Christine Overbey beat Miranda I of Arridia 2-1 in the Women's Competition.

Diving:

Zibo and Heng took the bronze in Men’s Synchronized 10 m Platform.

Equestrian:

After the Cross-Country, Gary Olsen is 13th, Timothy Kelly is 32nd, Sarah Silversmith is 34th, Corrine Trumble is 44th, and Marian Upton is 47th.

Fencing:

In the first round of Women's Foil, Clara Montserrat lost to Peg Sweeten of West Pocono 15-12, Voirrey Breeshey beat Amy Repsher of Newmanistan 15-9, and Anna Mireio received a bye. In the second round, Mireio beat Maka Keoke of Baranxtu, Cikoutimi, and Otea 15-10; Breeshey beat Bethany Robinson of Montgisard 15-13. In the third round, both ladies lost. Mireio fell to Sharla Barnes of Xalostia 15-8, and Breeshey lost to Belle de l’Isle of Wentland 14-8.

Field Hockey:

Our Men's team lost to Bluth Corporation 3-0.

Handball:

Our Women's team lost 32-27 to Kura-Pelland.

Judo:

Hyun Moon Kim lost a bronze medal match to Masashi Sunako of Secristan in the Men's 73kg class. Natsuko Immura lost in the Repêchage First Round of Women's 57kg class to Jyun Hyung- Kim of Secristan.

Lacrosse:

Our Men's team beat Ariddian Isles 12-9; our Women's team lost to Nuevos Aires 10-7.

Rowing:

Mare Zvonimira and Michaela Vadic qualified for the finals in Women's Pairs, but Melanie Young and Valerie Steele did not qualify in Women's Double Sculls.

Shooting:

Billy Rank did not qualify in Men’s 10 m Air Rifle. Ines Parra did not qualify in Women's trap.

Softball:

Our Women's team beat Jasīʼyūn 4-0.

Swimming:

Sheila Mitchell qualified for the finals in both Women’s 100 m Backstroke, and Women’s 200 m IM. Kirsten Foster did not qualify in Women’s 200 m Freestyle, and Yves Montero qualified in Men’s 200 m Butterfly.

Tennis:

Linus Novartis beat Ernano Marrono of Capitalizt SLANI 5-7 6-2 6-2, Teodors Kaustaskas beat Sean Miskell of Bluth Corporation 6-2 6-3, the pair received a first round bye in the Men's Pairs competition. Irina Tcherpova lost to Gloria Greene of Capitalizt SLANI 5-7 7-6 3-6 in Women's Singles.

Tug of War:

Our team lost to Roumberre 2-0.

Volleyball:

Our Women's team beat Baranxtu, Cikoutimi, and Otea 25-19 25-14 25-19.

Water Polo:

Our Women's team lost 10-6 to Gerainia.

Weightlifiting:

Sharokh Khorshid took the bronze in Men's 62kg class; Dara Gluke failed to defend her gold medal from Querzaki, finishing a disappointing 15th.

Wheelchair Fencing:

Caitlin Jarvis finished third in the Women's competition.

Kenavt III Olympiad Results

Medals:

BRONZE Men's 4x100m Freestyle Relay (da Vincho/Govacs/Nim/Poi)
SILVER Men's Sync 10m Platform (Filliring/Tshen) 368.99 TT 372.33

Medal Standings: 21

Latest Results:

Chess boxing:
Connor da Vincho def. Chofusa Makana (FJT)
Kolin Edeet bye

Fencing Epee
Vand er Meer 6-14 Yatti Puroma (BCO)
Connor da Vincho 15-8 Harry Cippolini (KRY)
2nd round: Connor da Vincho 15-4 Ben Scheidt (KRY)
3rd round: Connor da Vincho 4-15 Mark Trenc (BCO)

100m Breaststroke
4th: Connor da Vincho 1:02.63 Qualified
Cut 8
Field 16
Top Time 1:01.78
LQT 1:03.19

Men's Water Polo: Kenavt bye

Soccer: Kenavt 1 Valanora 2
Kenavt second in Group F

Basketball: Kenavt 75 Coocoostan81

Diving-Women's Synchronized 3m Springboard 11th (Lokjiy/Kat) 280.27

Women's Field Hockey: Kenavt 3 Qazox 1

Men's 200m Freestyle
32nd Connor da Vincho 1.52.62
36th Justin Govacs 1:52.95
TT: 1:48.21
LQT: 1:50.68
Field of 54
Cut of 16

Men's 100m Backstroke
9th Connor da Vincho 55.80
40th Frederick Poi 59.13
TT: 55.35
cut of 16
field 42
LQT unavailable
Final
8th/Last Connor da Vincho 1:01.71
Gold Medal Time: 1:00.12

Men's Singles Tennis
Connor da Viincho bye
Herebold Arnold 6-4, 6-2 v. Bernard Washington (JSY)
Connor da Vincho 2-6, 2-6 Justian Farl (VAL)
Herebold Arnold 7-5, 6-3 Arani Arati (BCO)

Men's Doubles Tennis
da Vincho/Arnold bye

Women's Singles Tennis
Samantha Grey bye
Francisca de Yot 7-5, 6-2 Juanita Williams (JSY)
Samantha Grey 2-6, 2-6 Ana Paula Klaeigh (CAF)
Francisca de Yot 4-6, 5-7 Gabrielle Solla (VAL)

Women's Doubles Tennis
Grey/de Yot bye

Men's Beach Volleyball
Carl Lov/Zach Thornton 7-21, 7-21 Mike Phish/Tyson Bradshaw (TAE)

Women's Beach Volleyball
Samantha Grey/Karolyn Campbell 21-18 16-21 15-13 Alessandra Ventos/Daniela Paulista (CAF)

Croquet:
Dennis Hay 1-2 Borrin o BerryGlades (BRS)

Softball:
Kenavt 0-2 Kura-Pelland

Men's Field Hockey
Kenavt 2 Ad'ihan 3

Men's 200m Butterfly
7th Connor da Vincho 1:58.12 Q
Harris Nim 2:02.07
TT: 1:57.42
LQT: 2:00.09
Field 36
Cut 16

A Team and a Dream. The Story of the Taeshan Olympic Team

Knights swimmers fail in 200 Meter Free

thats right all three female Knights swimmers entered in the 200 free failed to qualify to the second round. The Knights are not doing good anywhere in this olympics.

NEWMANISTAN, AP. - Vladimir Kurt, a 24 year old man of no fixed abode, was arrested earlier today on a charge of lewd conduct whilst at the Olympics. Mr Kurt has stated that he completely misunderstood the meaning of the breast stroke and wishes to apologize to Ms Clemons for upsetting her.

Mixed fortunes once again for Kura-Pelland, with another glorious weightlifting one-two in the mens' 62kg class - Scott Smith destroying the Olympic record and all-comers, and Barry Omagh edging out the rest by 2.5kg for second - offset by disappointment for Mary-Ann Spektor in her womens' 57kg category. Yet still the team stand high in the medals table, perhaps surprisingly so given the number of abject failures evident - albeit most of them expected, not least in the pool where the first-week obsession in the Games traditionally lies. They are sixth in the medals table, but only two nations actually have more medals - it just happens that three others have three golds to Kura-Pelland's two.

There were a few defeats that were especially painful - Charlotte Thompson in the judo in particular, losing her 57kg-category semi-final and her bronze-medal match - but there were two winners to celebrate, even if one isn't hoisting a gold medal, as Philippa Carlton won the womens' wheelchair fencing demonstratio event. It's expected that able-bodied fencers will actually represent Kura-Pelland in the next Games.

QSPN.com/OLYMPIC COVERAGE

Singles tennis matches continued today, and Doubles started. So let's take a quick look.

Tennis—Men’s Singles—Second Round

Neil Sanders lost to Bart Fagan (2-6, 5-7), Cody Hammel lost in 3 sets to Thun-si Yugasi (6-3, 5-7, 2-6); despite having triple match point at 40-love and a 5-4 lead in the 2nd set. That leaves Clinton Few as the lone men's single hopeful, following a (6-3, 6-1) win over Fydor Tunkin.

Tennis—Men’s Doubles—First Round

Both the teams of Clinton Few/Cody Hammell and Nelson Belvins/Neil Sanders had a first round bye.

Tennis—Women’s Singles—Second Round
Pearlie McKechnie lost to Valanora's Mary Applegate (3-6, 6-0, 1-6), while Allie Meola defeated Sherry Richards of Commerce Heights, (2-6, 7-6(7-5) 6-4) to advance to the 3rd round. Serena Paden had little trouble dispatching Cafundeu's Marcela Camargo, (6-2, 6-0).

Stay tuned to QSPN, QSPN2, QSPNOcho, and QSPNInternational for live coverage of every Qazoxian event, and tune into QSPN.com for 24/7 live streaming video for any competition.

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Fran, still the girliest name for a men's athlete

Sorthern Northland may still be celebrating Fantastic Fran's win in the bike race may still be being celebrated far and wide across the country but there are two things to remember about the Olympics, Fran is a girls name and we do have other athletes.

The men's football team for example are one of the few entrants who can take the spotlight of Fran, even if only for an hour and a half. What an hour and a half it was though. Sorthern Northland unlike many other nation have sent their full squad along rather than a quickly thrown together under 23 squad and the benefit of doing so was fairly obvious. As Kelssek's young team were struggling to gel with each other, the Sortherners, already well bonded through years of playing together were running rings round their opponents. Never was that more clear than in the third goal, the goal that put a cushion between the teams and all but confirmed the win. The goal was one scored on a counter attack, the Kelssek team giving it away in a good position due to a lack of communication allowed Nathan Keen to advance down the left wing to the edge of the Kelssek box. With no one to cross to he pulled it back to Feng Shui lurking on the edge of the box. With his back to goal though and a defender hot on his heels it didn't look as if he'd be able to put a ball into the box for the onrushing John Hernandez. Somehow he did though, without even looking and with an almost telepathic understanding the ball arrived at the feet of Hernandez at just the right moment, his strike could not have been any sweeter as it whistled into the night. The women's team though don't have the some togetherness as the men. Largely due to the fact they are a new team, and whilst they showed some bright spells and led for much of the games, a 2-1 defeat at the hands of Qazox was perhaps the fairest result.

The main event at the beginning of the weekend though was the Women's Cycling Road Race. Just as the men prior to them, the Sorthern women's team were in with an excellent shot of a medal with three excellent riders, the nation watched waiting to see if one of them would be able to replicate Fran's performance. Jasmine Nuppert's race was the first to come to an end, taking a bend she fell over the side of a mountain and was lucky to not fall to far down the slope, her bike though was lost to the valley and she was forced to wait for the team car and a replacement bike. However upon arrival the team car braked into the bend too hard, and with the bikes only loosely secured to the car, they followed Jasmine's original bike down into the valley. Hayley Gilbert was the one to lose out, having previously been protected by Nuppert she was now sacrificed in order to protect Hélène Duval until the final sprint. That she did well enough but unfortunately the two riders were boxed into the peloton when two groups of two broke away just kilometres from the finish, those two breakaways won the medals while Duval was the second member of the peloton to cross the line in 6th with Gilbert finishing in a respectable 15th overall. The team will now be looking to the time trial and track events for medals.

On the same day that Fran Ventoso won gold Conor “The Cod” Cullen became a national hero after his unlikely qualification in the heats of the 400m freestyle. In the semi-final he finished in an expected last place but was still happy. Afterwards he said, "The time in the semi is about a minute slower than in the heat, and although that's a bit of a disappointment if someone had said told me I record a time of 4:42.05 at the Olympics I'd have laughed so although it's a shame to finish so far behind the rest of the field, I'm just delighted to have got this far and will see if I can pull of any more shocks in the other events."

That next event was the 100m Freestyle and the only shock "The Cod" provided was not finishing last coming in 50th overall with a time of 1:55.18. After that he was again in the pool for the 100m Backstroke heats, again he managed to not finish last this time with a time of 58.03 seconds.

Success may not have been forthcoming in the pool or on the bike but there is one place where Sorthern Northland has won another medal. It may not be an official event but the 2nd place and silver medal in a recent "best flag amongst the competing nations". Perennial praisers of the Sorthern flag, it is not know if Candelaria And Marquez were involved in the judging process. The Sorthern flag was chosen by the judges for "The slightly darker red as well is an excellent touch, adding a little imperiousness to the overall effect of the flag. It is one of which to be proud." and "the charming retrospective motif in the canton would provide sufficient distinction to prevent misunderstanding," amongst other factors. Here's to hoping that following C&M praise for the anthem medals are being given for that as well.

"Welcome to Columbia Today, bring you highlights of an exciting afternoon's Olympic action. We have big moments from the pool, and a surprise story from the archery competition, as well as all the latest news from elsewhere in the Games. First up then, it's off to the Aquatics Centre, and highlights of todays swimming finals. Commentators are George Demetriev and Tania Cech."

"Good evening, and the moment you've all been waiting for. It's Krytenia's first real chance of a medal in the pool, the final of the men's 100m freestyle relay. Introducing the teams then: The Beretanians, surprise package, in lane one; the almost-home-team of Ja Si Yun in two; Kelssek, real medal contenders in three; lane four are the favourites, Newmanistan; then the Krytenians, look for Vernon Obikwelu to start them off from lane five. Lane six is Montgisard, strong qualifiers there; then Kenavt in seven, and the Cafundese team in lane eight.

To your marks.
BEEP!

Good start from Perotti there, Obikwelu comes up third behind Ritter, and it's a bit of a slow start for Kelssek..."

...at the final changeover...

"...oh, and that's an awful delay from the Newmanistan swimmers, and it's destroyed their rhythm completely! McGinnis leads for Montgisard, a couple of feet ahead of the Krytenian and the Kenavt swimmer as they head for the 25-metre point. And Verdi is piling it on now! Verdi, for Krytenia, with the momentum, clear space now ahead of the man from Kenavt! Verdi goes into the lead as they hit the turn! Verdi, McGinnis, Poi, and there's half a second in it! It's all up for grabs! Verdi pushing, pushing, just a little lead - and Knight is steaming on for Beretania! This is still wide open as they come closer to the end! Verdi kicks again, and the gold is his to lose now! McGinnis fighting off Poi, Poi, fighting off Knight, and THERE IT IS! GOLD TO KRYTENIA! McGinnis holds on to silver for Montgisard, and Kenavt just clinch the bronze! What a race!"

From the Series "COC List Stars for Columbia":

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COC List Stars - Marcus Vinícius Farías and Rodrigo Garcia (Beach Volleyball)

Continuing our series, we go to the beaches, a place where Cafundéu can win some medals too. Although the footvolley didn't get enough interest to become a demonstration sport, there is another beach sport which Cafundéu is one of the strongest competitors: it is the beach volleyball. Both our men and women are very good in this sport and, as we talked about the women in the indoor volleyball, we'll talk more about the men now. And, once again, you'll say that we are a bit late. But not much.

Marcus Vinícius Farías and Rodrigo Garcia are experienced players, much more than the still young Lúcio and Leopoldo. Marcus Vinícius and Rodrigo have already won many titles for Cafundéu, and are well-respected in the beach volleyball competitions, being ever counted as one of the doubles that have concrete chances at winning. This time, in the Olympics, things aren't different. But they have many opponents, including even Lúcio and Leopoldo. Experience can count in the end, but surprises can happen.

They usually have the ability of finishing games in few time, winning points with speed and deciding the sets before some supporters that reached the arena late could see the game. But this strategy also lead to some infantile mistakes, so they usually play with more caution against more famous and dangerous opponents. Lúcio and Leopoldo have the strategy of using more strength than technique (Marcus Vinícius and Rodrigo do the opposite), hitting the ball with power, something that even scares some of their opponents. So, our doubles have very different strategies, but their ability is enormous, and they are here for the gold medal. All of them.

But, of course, the women still attract much more followers than the men in this sport, and Cafundéu has good chances too in the women beach volleyball. The double Alessandra and Daniela is a recently-formed one, but formed between two top players, which left their former partners last year. Once again, they have a lot of opponents, including another double from Cafundéu, Grazielli and Paola. But, if there is one thing that the Cafundelenses know how to enjoy, it is the beach. So, beach volleyball is one of the most followed sports by the Cafundelenses, and one of the most loved ones.

Continuing about the women's doubles, just mentioning the names of Alessandra and Daniela to their opponents leaves them scared. That's because they are the most winning beach volleyball players of this century (counting their former partners too), with many titles won. But they still didn't win a gold medal in the Olympic Games, and that's their main objective right now. They usually play with smart moves and intelligent tactics, and it's difficult to defeat them with technique. The other Cafundelenses, Grazielli and Paola, have a more different approach in the games, provoking them and making many different and unusual moves.

(day comments by Breno Gavião to come tomorrow)

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Beach star leads the way for Island

On the Island many have often wondered why Liam O'Connell spends so many hours a day on on the strand hitting a floating thing back and forth across a net with a racquet. Why did he not like many other men of the Island spend his time fishing, hunting rabbits or rowing? Now though, when we pour into the Badminton Hall at the Olympic Site in Columbia we understand.

His first match against Aiden Smith of one of the hosting corporations was a tense three game affair. Liam took the first set by four points, his opponent the second by three and then Liam again won in the third this time by a large seven point margin. Afterwards as with all our athletes, we made sure they didn't go the night thirsty. His game we not fully understand or appreciate but he is one of us, and thanks to him badminton fans now know of us.

And so it was with plenty of enthusiasm that a couple of days later we were again in the Badminton Hall roaring him on as he sent Taeshan's Smithy Forrester crashing out in the second round. The years he'd spent down the strand with his racquet were proudly on display as he won the first set by a convincing seven point margin, the second set was won even quicker with a 12 point margin. As said above we may not understand or appreciate the game he has devoted so much to, but he is here for our island and whilst he is we shall pour into that hall everytime and make sure he doesn't go thirsty at night. Long may his free drinks reign over the Olympics.

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August 11, 2008 - Eye of Baranxtu online edition

Monday, a golden day for Baranxtu


Columbia, Unified Capitalizt States - As Monday draws to a close, the BCO team still leads the medal tally with now 5 gold, 3 silver and 3 bronze medals.

Hīva Nameokyan lifted 227.5 kg today, not only breaking the Olympic record set by the Maineiac Dara Gluke, but also securing a gold medal for her home nation over Beorran o Blackhills of Bears Armed and Marrie Collini-Brrunnois of Roumberre, both of whom lifted 225.0 kg.

After the medal ceremony, Eye of Baranxtu reporter Gahan Menogy had the chance to talk to her about her performance for a moment. Says Nameokyan, "I knew I had it in me! I did this for all Baranxtuan citizens, no matter whether Halaoran or Leumi or Baranxtiman or whatever. And also for the Oteans and Cikoutimians, of course. Guys, this medal is yours!"

Later that day, the Synchronized 10m Platform diving event brought a pleasant development for all fans of the BCO delegations, and especially for the many fans of Nahtēri Mēāgitu Andali.

Together with his diving partner Père Dekouj, the Baranxtuan-Cikoutimian duo comfortably won the gold medal with a total of 372.33 points. They outperformed Kenavt's Filliring/Tshen by 3.34pts, Maineiacs Zibo and Heng by 3.52pts. This was slightly worse than their average performance at home stadions.

Andali and Dekouj next performance is already on Wednesday 13th, when they will participate in the Synchronized 3m Springboard diving. Their individual events will start on Monday 18th with the 3m Springboard preliminaries. The whole editorial staff wishes them, and all our athletes, just the best.

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Nahtēri Mēāgitu Andali

---

"'...them and all our athletes...'!? What the hell?" Samuli Lahetsitu Maēli, 200m sprinter, cursed at the screen, but fortunately for the other guests in the internet café, it was in Baranxeï and they were spared the obsceneties.

One of the 100m sprinters Naina Imabatsatu Eihogra, who was sitting right next to him and also had Baranxeï as her mother tongue, was not so lucky. "Lahetsitu, people are looking it as. Be quiet. Also, what's the matter?"

"Ack, it's this article in the Eye of Baranxtu. About today. And not just them. Everywhere, it's all Nahtēri this, Nahtēri that, let's all line up and kiss Nahtēri's perfect ass, because he can jump of stuff and looks oh-so-pretty doing it! Fuck Nahtēri, and his little lapdog Père, too."

"Calm down, boy. You're a bit... touchy today, aren't you?"

"Oh, leave me alone! Diving! They're all giddy and all excited about diving. Why do I have to come from the only country in the world that values diving!?"

"Lahetsitu, shut up. It's not Nahtēri's fault if people idolize him and his sport. Yes, it sucks that we're not as highly regarded, but damn, don't be such an ass about it. A little humility would do you good."

"Don't talk to me as if I were five, Imbatsatu. I'm angry enough as it is."

Naina sighed in frustration and stood up. Before she went away, she turned to Samuli. "You are impossible, and I can't talk to ya. You should go to your dorm, get a good night's sleep, and stop being stupid."

---

Harri and Pierre had forgotten about the time and were getting wasted in some bar somewhere in Columbia.

"Their beer ain't too bad... 'nother one?" Pierre asked.

"Yeah... yeah."

The music might seem a bit boring by now.

Steve: Rochelle Urbit finished fourteenth in the women's hundred-meter backstroke...yes, you have the correct sound file. Only eight swimmers advanced from the semifinals, however. It was a day of mediocrity for Zwangzug competitors in the pool, Niccolo DeLillo finishing third-to-last in two-hundred meter butterfly heats.
Darryl: The tennis court brought little more success. In a match similar to Percy Flinton and Blake Patton's duel, Emily Barnett-like Patton, also of the Bluth Corporation-outlasted Amelia DuPont.
Amelia: Mmhmm...Percy went down 7-6 his first set, so, things all tied up at five, I figured she'd have to win by two. And I was up thirty-love, but things just sorta, whatsit, disintegrated. Couple ad-outs later, boom, that's the set.
Darryl: And Barnett would take the second set as well, six games to two.
Lily: But today was anything but a day of disappointment overall, with the volleyball team stunning Secristan, winning once again in three sets.
Yvette: Here's Laurel Drake-Baxter.
Laurel: It didn't feel like they were taking us as seriously in the first sets as they did later on...or maybe we just tire more easily? Second set, looked a little worrying down...how far did it get, 17-13?
Darryl: 14.
Laurel: But of course came back. And the last one was even closer, but it never felt that way. Two sets up already, we were feeling pretty good.
Yvette: Zwangzug next faces West Pocono, another highly-touted team, coming off of a bye day.
Lily: Good luck to you and your team!
Laurel: Thanks.

Day 08–12 A results (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13916158&postcount=10) are now up.